BONUS EPISODE: Mira and Finn interview Cleopatra

Get ready for our most royal interview yet on History's Not Boring! Mira and Finn are packing their microphones and traveling back in time to Ancient Egypt to meet the one and only Cleopatra VII! Did you know she was the very last Pharaoh of Egypt? Or that she was so incredibly smart she could speak nine different languages?! In this amazing bonus episode, our brave hosts get a special VIP invitation right into her royal home! You won't believe the incredible stories Her Majesty has to share! Hear all about her secret meetings, her clever tricks to protect her sandy kingdom, and what it's really like to rule an empire while dealing with the powerful Roman army! Was she just a glamorous queen, or the absolute smartest leader in the ancient world? Grab your favorite shiny crown and join us for a hilarious, exciting, and totally true adventure with Kidopoly.com. Bow down to the queen and hit play now to find out why Cleopatra's life was definitely not boring!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to History's Not Boring by Kidopoly.com.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

I'm Mira. And I'm Finn. And today is a very unusual day in the studio. It really is.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Today is incredibly exciting because this is our very first bonus episode. We are stepping away from our normal format to try something completely new. We'll be stepping back in time to interview someone from history.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

So we aren't testing anyone's historical knowledge today. We are actually interviewing someone real.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Exactly! We are travelling back over 2,000 years, crossing the bright blue Mediterranean Sea and arriving at a magnificent palace in North Africa. The year is around 33 BCE.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

The air smells incredible here. It smells like sea salt, roasting coriander, and sweet incense. But who are we waiting for?

SPEAKER_02 0:56

We are waiting to meet a Queen Finn. She is one of the most famous women in human history. She speaks nine different languages, commands a massive navy, and runs the enormous wheat harvests that feed half of the ancient world.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Wow, that sounds like a lot of responsibility. I think I hear her guards opening the massive wooden doors right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Your Majesty, thank you so much for welcoming us into your home today.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Welcome to Alexandria, my young scholars. Please sit down. The marble floors can be quite cold, but the sea breeze coming through the colonnade is absolutely perfect this morning.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Your palace is gigantic. There are statues of sphinxes everywhere. Could you tell us exactly who you are and where we are?

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Certainly. I am Cleopatra VII, Queen of Egypt. We are sitting in my royal palace in the great port city of Alexandria. If you look out that grand window to your left, you will see the harbour, and rising above it, the Pharos.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

The Pharos! That is the gigantic lighthouse, right? One of the seven wonders of the ancient world.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Indeed it is. Its fire burns day and night, guiding merchant ships safely into our port. Thousands of vessels come here from across the globe to trade silk, spices, and grain.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

So you are in charge of all of those ships and all of this land?

SPEAKER_00 2:32

I am. I am the proud queen of an independent Egypt. My family has ruled this magnificent country for 250 years. It is a heavy crown to wear, balancing the terrifying power of our neighbor Rome with the safety and prosperity of my own people.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Did you always want to be a queen when you were my age? I mostly just want to build forts.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

When you are born into the royal Ptolemy dynasty, little one, you do not have much choice in your career. But my childhood was truly wonderful. I grew up surrounded by the greatest minds in the entire world. Because of the great library of Alexandria!

SPEAKER_02 3:20

It was right next to your palace, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Exactly. The Musion, our temple of the Muses. It was just steps from my bedroom doors. There were hundreds of thousands of papyrus scrolls. I spent my days reading astronomy, medicine, geometry, and philosophy with the finest tutors.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Is it true you speak nine different languages? I am trying to learn Spanish, and it is really hard.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Nine at the last count, yes. Greek, of course, because my ancestors were Macedonian generals who rode with Alexander the Great. But also Hebrew, Arabic, Syrian, Parthian, and Ethiopian. When the whole world comes to your city to trade, you must understand what they are saying.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

But you were the very first person in your royal family to actually learn the Egyptian language, right? Your own people's language.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yes. For two and a half centuries, my family ruled Egypt without speaking a word of the native language. I always thought that was incredibly foolish. How could I protect my people if I could not listen to their prayers? How could I be a true pharaoh if I could not read the ancient hieroglyphs carved into our sacred temples?

SPEAKER_02 4:47

We have to ask you about your biggest, most dangerous adventure. The time you first met the famous Roman general, Julius Caesar.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Yeah. Is it true you were rolled up inside a fancy carpet and smuggled past guards?

unknown 5:03

Ha ha.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Ah, the famous carpet story. No, no, that is a bit of a storyteller's exaggeration. It was not a beautiful soft rug. It was actually a coarse hemp sack, the kind my servants used to carry bedding and dirty laundry.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

Wait, you hid in a laundry bag! But you were the queen of Egypt!

SPEAKER_00 5:27

I was a queen whose younger brother had just locked her out of her own capital city. We were in the middle of a civil war. His soldiers were guarding the palace doors with spears. I desperately needed to sneak inside to meet Caesar and forge an alliance to save my throne.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Was it scary inside the sack? I would have been terrified.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

It was pitch dark, it smelled fiercely of rough rope, and my heart was pounding against my ribs like a war drum. My faithful servant Apollodorus rode us across the harbour at night, put me in the sack, and carried me right past my brother's guards. They simply thought he was bringing extra blankets for the Roman guest. And then what happened when you got inside? Apollodorus untied the heavy sack right in the middle of Caesar's private quarters and outstepped the rightful Queen of Egypt. Let us just say the brilliant Roman general was completely speechless for the first time in his life.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Okay, I have a very weird question. People say you once dissolved a super expensive giant pearl in a glass of vinegar and drank it. Is that real?

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Oh, word of that little dinner party has reached you across the centuries, has it? Yes, it is true. The Roman general Mark Antony kept boasting about his immense wealth, so I made a wager with him. I bet that I could consume a massive fortune in a single meal.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

But vinegar! That must have tasted absolutely awful!

SPEAKER_00 7:11

It was terribly sour. I took off my pearl earring, which was worth millions of silver coins, dropped it into strong vinegar until it dissolved, and drank it down. I won the bet effortlessly. Politics, my friends, is not always fought with swords. Sometimes it is fought with clever theatre.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

That is amazing. But what actually scares a powerful queen like you? Is it enemy armies?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

No, Finn. The most terrifying thing in the world is a dry riverbed, specifically the Nile.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Because the river has to flood every year, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:54

To water the crops. Exactly. We use a stone staircase called a nylometer to measure the flood waters. If the water reaches the highest step, we have enough wheat to feed millions. If it falls short, the wheat does not grow. My greatest fear is looking out over those fields and knowing my people might starve. It's funny, Your Majesty.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

People today tell so many stories about you, but they mostly talk about your beautiful jewelry, your dramatic life, and your famous Roman partners.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Ah yes, I imagine they do. It is the tragic fate of powerful women to be remembered by history for their perfumes rather than their policies. They prefer legends to reality.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

What do you wish they remembered about you instead?

SPEAKER_00 8:49

I wish they remembered the tax ledgers I balanced. They forget the massive navy I commanded, the silver coins I minted, and the brilliant scholars I protected. Ruling a kingdom is hard, unglamorous work.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

If you could tell kids listening today one thing, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Learn everything. Learn the languages of your neighbours. Read the complex scrolls in your libraries. My true power never came from gold or crowns. It came from understanding the world better than the men trying to conquer it. Knowledge is the ultimate armor.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

That is really great advice. Thank you for showing us the real you behind all those old myths.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

It was my honour entirely. Now, if you will excuse me, my harbour master is waiting outside. I have a fleet of fifty grain ships that must be dispatched to Rome before the tide turns. Goodbye, Your Majesty. Thank you again. Farewell, young scholars. May the great gods of Egypt watch over your journeys across the centuries.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Wow, Mira! She was so incredibly smart. And I had no idea she cared so much about the wheat harvest and the river flooding.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

She really did. Being a queen is basically being a very busy, very powerful manager. We hope you all loved this first bonus episode. There's so many more to come, and we're going to travel in time to so many different times and places.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

We would absolutely love to hear what you think of this brand new format.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Yes, please email us at hello at kidopoly.com to tell us your thoughts and let us know which historical figure you would love us to interview next.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

And if you enjoyed meeting Queen Cleopatra today, please leave us a five-star review.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Don't forget to check out our site kidopoly.com for more amazing history fun. See you next time on History is not boring. Bye everyone.