33. Why Does Every Kindergartener Need Me at the Same Time?

Does it feel like every kindergartener needs you for everything, all day long? And have you caught yourself thinking, I swear last year's class wasn't this needy?

In this episode, we're talking about why kindergarten students need so much help at the beginning of the school year and what it really takes to build independence in kindergarten. You'll learn why you might be comparing your brand-new kindergarteners to the independent students you sent home last spring, how classroom routines and visual supports help students become more independent, and what those constant questions can tell you about the systems you still need to teach.

If you're tired of answering the same questions over and over and wondering when your students will start doing more for themselves, this episode will help you build kindergarten independence through simple, consistent classroom management systems that work for real five- and six-year-olds.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
👀 Classroom Visuals Bundle
🍎 Kindergarten Behavior Blueprint
📝 Show notes: https://kindergartentoolbox.com/building-independence-in-kindergarten-episode-33/

🎧 Follow The Kindergarten Toolbox so you don't miss future episodes with simple, practical kindergarten classroom management and teaching strategies.

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Does it feel like every student in your kindergarten classroom needs you at exactly the same time? Someone needs help opening their snack, someone can't find their pencil, someone doesn't know where to put their paper, someone needs help in the bathroom, and three more kids are standing beside you, poking at your shoulder, saying your name over and over again while you're trying to help someone else. If you're wondering why your kindergarten students can't seem to do anything independently yet, you're definitely not alone. Today we're talking about why kindergartners need so much help at the beginning of the school year and what building independence in kindergarten actually looks like in a real classroom. Welcome to the Kindergarten Toolbox Podcast. I'm your host, Amy Murray, here to help you simplify kindergarten with tools and strategies that actually work with real live five and six year olds. Let's dive into your shortcut to calmer days and more confident writers. Every year I think kindergarten teachers develop a little bit of amnesia over the summer. Well, at least I know I always did. We know they're going to come in needing a lot of help. We know that they're five, sometimes four, and we know that some of them have never been in school before. But somehow we forget just how much they need us for every single thing. Like all the things. And I swear every year it feels like this group is needier than the last. Last year's class could put away their folders, they could get their supplies, they knew how to open their lunch containers, they could get themselves logged into their Chromebooks, and they knew where to put their papers. But of course they did because you had them trained for an entire school year. You're comparing your kindergartners that you sent off in May or June with brand new kindergartners who just walked through your door. And those are two very different groups of five and six-year-olds. The students that you sent off at the end of last year had months and months of practice with you and your routines and your systems. You taught them where things belonged. You taught them what they needed to do when they needed help instead of poking at you and saying, Teacher, teacher. You taught them what to do when they finished their work and taught them how to use their supplies in the classroom without ruining everything. You probably didn't even notice all the little things that they could do independently by the end of the year because they just did them. And now it's August, and suddenly it feels like they can't do anything. Someone needs your help to open their snack, someone can't find the paper that's literally sitting right in front of them. Someone doesn't know where to put their folder, even though you showed them how to do it five seconds ago. And while you're helping that student, you've got three more standing waiting for you, waiting to ask their turn for something else that you've already shown them how to do. It's exhausting. And if you've caught yourself thinking, were they always this needy? I don't remember last year's class needing this much. Well, the answer is probably yes, they always were. You just forgot. But here's the important part: the independence you remember from last year's class didn't just happen. You taught it, whether you meant to or not. And that's exactly what you're starting all over again with this new group. All of those little things, the where to put your things, how to take care of your school tools, that's all things we teach. I think sometimes we forget how many things kindergarten students have to learn that have absolutely nothing to do with the curriculum. We really need to teach kindergartners how to be students, how to be in kindergarten before we can teach any kind of academic curriculum. We know that we're going to have to teach letters and sounds and numbers and counting and teach them how to write a sentence, yes, even in kindergarten. But we're also teaching them how to function in a school, in a classroom. Where does my folder go? What do I do if my pencil breaks? Where do I put my paper when I'm finished? What if I need a tissue? What if I can't do open something or can't do something and I need help? None of this is automatic. And when they don't know the answer, the easiest solution is to bug you. And so when it feels like every student needs you at exactly the same time all day long, start paying attention to what they're needing you for, because those constant little questions are actually showing you what you still need to teach, or maybe where a better tool could be used. And I think this is where we can get frustrated because it feels like we've already taught it. You showed them where their folder goes, you showed them where to put their paper, you told them over and over again what to do if their pencil breaks, and you've practiced how to clean up properly. But remember, there's a huge difference between showing a five-year-old something once and then them being able to do it independently every single time. And think about how much information they're taking in during those first few days or weeks of school. They're learning your name, their classmates' names, where the bathroom is, where they sit, how to line up, what time they eat lunch, what happens when they go to specials, who are these new special teachers and all of their names, how they get home at the end of the day, where their backpack goes, what supplies belong to them, how to take care of them. Oh, there's so much going on. And that's all before we've taught a single letter or number. It's a ton. So, yes, you may have taught them where to put their finished paper yesterday, but that one little procedure is competing with approximately, I don't know, 9,000 other things that they're trying to remember too. That's why independence in kindergarten takes repetition and visual support. The fastest solution is not always the best solution. And here's where I think we make it harder on ourselves. Because when you're in the middle of a kindergarten day with 20 kids who need something, the fastest solution is usually to do it for them. Someone can't open their snack, here, give it to me. Can't get a glue stick open, I'll do it. Don't know where the paper goes, here, I'll take it and put it away. Okay, all of those things we end up doing for them because we think it makes our lives easier or it makes something go faster. And listen, sometimes we just need to get out the door. I'm not telling you to spend 11 minutes watching a five-year-old struggle with a zipper while the rest of your class is melting down. Sometimes you do need to just zip the coat. But if our automatic response every time a child needs something is to do it for them, then they're going to keep needing us to do it. And that's where we accidentally create more work for ourselves. The thing that saves you 30 seconds today can cost you 30 seconds every day for the next three months. So sometimes we need to stop and ask ourselves, can this child learn how to do this without me? The answer is yes, it's probably something worth teaching. Independence doesn't mean that they never need you. And I want to be really clear here because when I talk about building independence in kindergarten, I'm not saying that these five-year-olds are going to be able to manage everything by themselves. They're still going to need you. They're tiny humans after all. Some kids are going to need more support than others, and some skills are going to take them longer to get. And they're absolutely things that they need an adult to help them with. The goal isn't to create a classroom full of tiny adults who never ask for help, but the goal is to teach them to independently handle things that they're developmentally capable of handling. Can they learn where to put their fing finished work? Absolutely. How about where their pencil goes if it's broken? Mm-hmm. Can they learn how to put their supplies away and take care of them? What about what to do when they're finished? Where does their folder go? Can they learn to check a visual schedule instead of asking you what's happening every six minutes? Yeah, they definitely can do that. But all of these things have to be taught, and they're best taught when you pair them with strong classroom visuals. Your classroom should be doing a lot of this work for you. Having a visual schedule, picture direction cards, even taking pictures of your expectations so that they can follow through with them makes a big difference. You know I love visuals in kindergarten, and this is exactly why. Our kids can't necessarily read all the cutesy labels that we made for our classroom. And even if they could, they're brand new to school. We want to make things as obvious and easy as possible. The more questions that your classroom can answer for you with pictures, the more independent your students become, and the less they'll rely on you. I'm not asking you to make another checklist or carry around a clipboard. Just notice. What are they asking you 10 times a day? Like, is it lens recess or what do I do with my folder? Where do I put my work? I'm done. What's next? Those kinds of things. Pay attention to those. And then if you're really tired of answering that question, think how could I make this answer more obvious to my students? Maybe I need to reteach that procedure. Maybe they need more practice, or maybe you just need a simple visual or to not overcomplicate these things. Right? Maybe they just need more time. Don't compare your August kids to your May kids. You will get them back to that May ability, but it's August and you need to meet them where they are. Last year's class did not become independent in a week. You had months with them. You taught them, you reminded them, and you practiced. And you probably changed some systems that weren't working and all the things. And at the beginning, you did repeat yourself 47 million times a day. Somewhere along the way, they stopped asking and they just knew. By spring, they were able to do it. Remind yourself that you're remembering a finished product and comparing it to this year's starting point. So if you've been looking at this year's class thinking, oh my goodness, this group is so needy, they might be. Every group is different, but they also might just be new to kindergarten and you haven't had the chance to teach them all of the little things yet. And this is classroom management too. This is why I talk about independence as such a big part of classroom management, because it isn't just what you do when someone misbehaves, right? Classroom management is how you manage your classroom, how it throws how your students thrive, how they function in your classroom. It's also creating a classroom where students know what to do without having to rely on you as the system. That's why independence is built into the brick method that I teach inside of kindergarten behavior blueprint, because we build behavior systems, relationships, and independence through consistent, simple systems. Because the more your students can successfully do for themselves, the less you have to hold the entire classroom together all day long. They rely on the system and not on you. That builds confidence in your students and gives you time to teach. Give this group some time and yourself some grace. If everybody needed you today and you came home absolutely exhausted from hearing your name 6,000 times, I see you. Tomorrow, pay attention for what they're asking for. Pick one thing, not 10, but the one thing that's driving you the most crazy. Teach it again or practice it or add a visual if you need one. But make it easier on yourself and then give them the opportunity to do it independently. Then do the same thing with something else, and little by little, those questions start disappearing. And one day soon, you'll realize nobody asked you where to put their finished work and nobody needed you to tell them what time lunch was or what to do with their broken pencil. They just did it. And eventually this group of brand new kindergartners who seem like they need you for all of the things all of the time will become the group that you're comparing next year's class to. And you'll probably be saying the exact same thing. I swear last year's group was never this needy. They probably were. You just already taught them what to do. All right, until next time, have a great week. Thanks for listening to the Kindergarten Toolbox. I'm Amy Murray and I'm so glad you're here. Be sure to check the show notes for all the links and resources from today's episode. For even more tips, tools, and support, head to teachingexceptionalkinders.com or connect with me on Instagram at Teaching Exceptional Kinders. If you enjoyed this episode, please follow along and subscribe to the show and take a minute to leave a review. It helps other kindergarten teachers to find us too. Teaching kindergarten is tough, but you're not alone. Here's to calmer days and more competent writers. You've got this.