Shattering Glass with Heather Simpson: Leading with Clarity, Courage & Conviction

Heather Simpson is an entrepreneur, founder, and community architect who doesn't believe in playing small, safe, or polite for the sake of comfort. 

She is the founder of Her Connection Hub, a beautiful co-working and community space for women in Bellingham, WA. Heather is also the author of the upcoming book - We Shatter Glass: A Road Map for Visionaries, Outliers, and Quiet Disruptors. 

Her podcast Shattering Glass is a masterclass in counter-cultural thinking and asking the questions everyone is thinking, but not asking.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why friction is the refining force behind every bold vision and how to tell necessary friction from the kind you're creating unnecessarily
• What the 75 Hard program revealed about momentum, mental fitness, and integrity with yourself
• How Heather's experience with embezzlement became the unlikely catalyst for writing Shattering Glass
• The difference between a connector and a community builder and why real community changes everything
• Why your rebellious instincts may be your greatest leadership superpower

"If I keep going, I'm not failing — I'm receiving the feedback of the situation, the lesson I need to learn here."— Heather Simpson

Resources & Links Mentioned

🔗 75 Hard Program by Andy Frisella 

🎙️ Heather's Podcast: Shattering Glass 

🏢 Her Connection Hub

📲 Follow Heather Simpson on Instagram 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome back to an intuitive life. This is Elena Lipson, your intuitive mentor and messaging guide, and so fun today. My guest today is Heather Simpson, an entrepreneur and founder who doesn't believe in playing small, safe, or polite for the sake of comfort. Heather is known for building bold businesses, powerful communities, and leaders who refuse to stay boxed in. She challenges outdated rules, calls out what's broken, and pushes people to lead with clarity, confidence, and conviction. And I am so excited. Because I have this platform, I get to invite people that I just adore and want to explore. I mean, once in a while I interview someone I just met, but this is not the case here. Heather and I have been connected for quite a bit. And before we were even connected here in Bellingham, Washington, I had several people within a short amount of time saying, Do you know Heather? You need to know Heather. Do you know Heather? Like, I don't know Heather, but I think I should know Heather. And so I reached out on Instagram, I believe, and we ended up having coffee. And it was just like a fun little get-to-know-you date. And then pretty soon after, I think I went to your, which it turned out to be, I think, the last in-person breakfast event prior to the pandemic. So it must have been 2019. And it was just a beautiful event. And um, so we're gonna get to know Heather a little bit today because I I know Heather. So I want you to know Heather because Heather is an author and bold is the perfect word for you. So, Heather, welcome.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Thank you. It's so great to be here. I feel so honored. This is gonna be so much fun. We get to take our conversations that we have and just put a microphone to it, which I think is the coolest thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Agreed. And Heather has her own podcast too. We'll link everything in the show notes. And I I love your podcast. I love listening to my friends' podcast because sometimes my friends are like, oh, I don't listen. Like, why don't you listen? Like, because I know I because I talk to them in real life, but I also like I love to hear your take on all the things. I was listening even this morning, and I texted you at like just before 7 a.m. So I'm like, oh my God, that was so good. The skills pay the bills or a skill. But it was just, you know, I think your approach to business building is so like practical, but bold and really always at the edge. And I what I want to explore today, and we'll weave your story in for sure, because you have a real estate background, you have a like a brick and mortar location, and you were building it at a time where people were sort of abandoning that approach and going online. So totally counter culture of what people, most people were doing, especially entrepreneurs, because it would have been very easy to just shift directions and go online. So you have successful programs and masterminds and all the things, but yet you're driven to create community, which is different than being a connector. Like connectors, I know connectors in my life who are like, you should know this person, you should know this person, which you do really well as well. But when I think of you, I think of community building and boldness. And I know that's sort of part of you know what you do. But I will I want to ask you, I'm really curious because your level of creation requires a deep level of self-trust and in a way that is very grounded and rooted when things go sideways, when things don't go as planned, and when things are going well, there's self-trust really required on both ends. So I'm curious, where did this come from? When did you first sort of realize that you have a different approach than maybe other builders and founders to creating things against sort of the norm of what sort of the this, you know, everyone's swimming upstream and you're like, no, we're going this way.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

How do you do that? How do you do that? I mean, I think that before the business world, I I felt that in my everyday life, just in growing up as a kid, and what I kind of attributed to being a rebel at the time or being told I was rebellious, uh, actually I've learned has been kind of one of my superpowers and really learning to kind of think for myself. And I've always just kind of questioned if everybody is telling me to go this way, why? What happens if I go the other way? And I don't I think that I just because I continued to kind of do that and I just took risks and always just kind of questioned and had that curiosity growing up, it made it a no-brainer and easier for me to do in business. And I mean, to be fair, I didn't start with my own business. I started, you know, working for other people and implementing that same type of thought process and watching that work really well. So I had a bit of the safety net of operating from that place of like, what happens if we turn this thing upside down? Then then what can we do? And I watched that really unfold and work well for other businesses that I helped build before I did it for myself. And so have having each of those steps teach me something, of course, because nothing goes according to plan. And even if you do follow the safer route or the route that somebody else wants you to go on or the route that you quote, should go on, there are still hiccups and friction that happens. And for me, I just kind of always have operated in such a different way where I've I have accepted that if I keep going, then I'm not failing. I'm receiving the feedback of the situation that I or the lesson that I need to learn here and and put that to use, like not let that lesson go to waste and build the next thing from there. And so that eventually did turn into my own businesses and kind of a different take on networking groups, which is how I got even on the path of opening my own brick and mortar place and building community. And so it just I've I've always been wired that way. It has caused me a lot of grief, especially growing up, or feeling like kind of the black sheep, or um, you know, I think in in my adult life, like taking what I'm doing specifically in a community space for women, it can trigger a lot of people too, and it can really enact kind of a mean girl mentality that I seem to be on the receiving end of quite often. And and so it doesn't come without its points of contention or or friction. Again, I really like that word. Um, and it just kind of tells me that I'm on the right spot. I don't know why. I just or maybe I do know why, and it just keeps working for me, and I just keep doing it that way because it it pans out and it and it creates such beautiful, unique experiences, businesses. Um, and I and I just can't, I can't not be that way.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

I can't not be that way. It's great. I think that that really speaks a lot to um what a lot of women end up doing in business is sort of conforming to the norm of what sort of the business trends are or like what they see other people doing. And as I said, like you started this particular business where I'm actually sitting in the building right now in this podcast studio in your building. And it's such a beautiful, like just manifestation of who you are. Like I'm creating this space, it's like a 19,000 square foot space, it's beautiful, it's welcoming, it's everything. And it's like it's everything for the woman who needs a place to connect, and like you said, co-work differently or just connect or network differently, which is what the breakfasts are all about. You mentioned the word friction, and I know that one of the things you believe is that leadership requires friction, and it feels like you've sounds like you've had a lot of friction, which has made you a phenomenal leader. Say more about that. Like I know there's certain kinds of friction of, you know, just people sort of not believing in you, but what specifically do you think makes you appreciate the friction? What kind of friction have you experienced? And then what comes out on the other side of that?

SPEAKER_00 8:24

I think that if we look at just the world in general, in the strongest relationships that are formed, the most beautiful buildings or infrastructure that is created, or the most helpful and supportive businesses in the world, the most fittest bodies in the world, like all of that had to undergo some type of friction, stress, reforming of some kind in order to really unveil its next level of potential. And so if I'm on an easy path where I'm not feeling myself growing or things are kind of coming together too simply, to me, that's actually a really big warning sign. It's not, it's I think very differently about that than like, oh, if everything's in flow and coming together, then it must be meant to be. I think that some of the best incredible things that have been created or formed in our world have been formed under pressure and formed under friction and stress. And and because it's good. Yeah, because if we you use it for creation in something that is coming together in a brand new way, then you're you're creating something that's never been done before. So when you look at marriages, for example, that have been together for 40, 50, however long, even 20 years, they didn't get there easily. They didn't get to be how they are and how well they know each other without going through things, life, stress, kids, financial stuff, like whatever the thing might be. And that type of friction is used as a refinement piece to really bring people closer together, bring it closer to its next level potential. So I look for that and I look for those opportunities when I'm creating, not seek out a problem, but look for that growth edge of is this turning into thing that it actually can fully be? Anyone that's trained for a marathon, done to the most extreme bodybuilding type competitions, whatever, like you will feel a plateau at some point in health and wellness and relationships. And so the kind of current how things stand can't always be if you're continuing on. It actually starts to work backwards. So I use that as kind of my edge to find like, where does this need to continue on? Because if I just am getting to a place in my business, it's like, okay, things are great, things are smooth, everything is clicking, amazing. I'm not gonna create friction to disenfranchise that, but I'm gonna create friction within myself first as a leader and as somebody that holds a very strong vision for something very specific to find where the next edge is to create the next level and add on, excuse me, add on to that so that the next vision can come to life. And without it, I'm not anything that comes to us easy, we don't feel proud of, right? I think that that's why AI saw a huge spike in all areas for the first bit of it. And now we see people see through a lot of that. People see through a lot of that in writing, they see through a lot of that in what's being presented online and what's real and what's fake. And so people are finding that yes, AI can be a very helpful tool in a lot of ways, but I need to go back to finding the parts that are me. And that's just human nature. So it's really taking the laws of the universe of friction and just applying that to your own life because you are part of the universe and you don't get to bypass that type of experience when you are living out your life. So um, I feel like it took us all on a very windy journey there.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

But it's so good. I think what you just said is such a great example of just kind of the counter belief system. Even even people here in like an intuitive life, it might feel like, oh, you know, everything's go with the flow, everything's easy, things are unfolding, like angels are guiding. It's great. But but, you know, the reason you build intuition, the reason you understand what's what intuition feels like is because you didn't listen for not you personally, but we as human beings, especially as women who are just born with this superpower of knowing ourselves and then getting it layered with all the different societal patterns and ideas and beliefs and all that. There's a there is this, I would say, a trend, or it's been going on for quite a while, like the soft girl era, or like not doing more, doing less. And I, and for to some degree, I do adopt some of those things because I've learned how I function is not with high cortisol, but or and I do understand how I've grown through things that didn't work, through things that flopped completely, through external things that happened in my life or my business that forced me to have a reckoning with myself. So that friction is there. Whether you call it um, you know, divine timing or or like these meant to be or whatever you call it, it still created that edge for you to push again. So I I know for you, you shared recently that you did a 75 hard, which to me sort of brought up sort of what you were saying. And 7575 hard, for those of you who don't know, was created by a coach. I can't remember his name. What's his name?

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Andy Frisella.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Andy Frisella. Yes, Andy Frisella. Yes. I can link that below. And it's this program where you're for 75 days, you're essentially taking on friction for your body, for your mind. Um, do you want to share a little bit about your experience? Because I think it speaks to like it's such a great little microcosm of what you're describing in business, but you sort of did it for yourself as a leader, and then what emerged and how that how that like overlaid what your approach is in business, which is very clear.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Yeah. So I will say uh just uh wrapping up kind of the not wrapping up, but just speaking to like the intuitive piece when you were sharing as well. I would say that my intuition has led me to the most like explosive conversations or decisions in my life, and all for good reason. Um, some to end things, some to fine-tune things and and move them forward. Um, my intuition has never guided me wrong, even in the moment where it felt like, what did I actually just do? Um so I do want to make sure that I speak to that. And and that includes doing something like, you know, 75 hard. So Andy Frisella is a phenomenal business coach and and mentor of mine, somebody I've who'd had who I've had the uh privilege of working with. And I have always been drawn to kind of more of a masculine or militant style of direction. I know that not everybody is created like me. And I think that that is like the most beautiful thing of the world, is where everybody's created different. And I know that I am, I do my best, I feel my best, I produce my best when I am in a high accountability state. And that is exactly what 75 Heart is. And it's a lot of people feel like when they read through what the exact kind of protocol is, is more of a fitness type of regime, but it's actually a mental fitness type of regime, which is something that as leaders, we do have to be really mentally strong and mentally fit and build essentially the confidence in ourselves and the accountability in ourselves to do what we say we're gonna do, no matter the circumstances. And so that's what this program does. You do two workouts a day, one has to be outdoor, one can be indoor or outdoor, they're 45 minutes each, not a minute less. It's drink a gallon of water, not an ounce less. It's read 10 pages of a book, not a page less, take a progress photo, follow some type of uh nutrition plan so you can pick whatever you want. So it doesn't have to be anything extreme. For me, I wanted to make sure that I hit a certain gram level of protein so that my body was actually building muscle instead of going into atrophy when I was increasing my workouts and um no cheat meals or alcoholic. That's the protocol. And what you find in the process is it's really a recipe for how you create momentum. And for anybody that's created momentum, this is something that I know people we all know and we feel. And it was like one of my biggest aha's throughout the program was once you find that momentum and that flow, you will do whatever you can to stop, to, to not stop that momentum from moving forward. And so for me, when I got to day 75, I, and as I was nearing closer to it, I was somewhat a little bit like, oh my gosh, like what am I gonna follow? How am I gonna stay accountable thereafter? And I didn't want to lose the momentum that I was building because not only was I building trust in myself and I was executing, I was also executing a lot of these things so early on in the day and really finding a good flow. It was helping my productivity with work. It was helping things just really come together. My creativity was through the roof. Cause one of the things that I layered on for myself was my 45-minute outdoor workout was a walk, you know, rain or shine. We're in the Pacific Northwest. So sometimes that's real soggy and not very fun. But I also do it without ear pods so that I can listen to my own self speak to me, so that I can pray because I am somebody of faith and I can have that time with God uninterrupted. And I really relied on that time to hear myself, hear my thoughts. There's so many things out in the world that give us the option to outsource our own thinking with influencers online or AI or whatever rhetoric that just can be repeated and and it you it kind of happens slowly. You kind of start to realize, like, man, what is my thought versus somebody else's versus like how am I critically thinking right now? And so I very intentionally made sure to not put anything in and just listen and hear myself and hear whatever came to me in that time. So when day 76 came, I just I got up and did my outdoor workout and I just continued on. And there's phases of 75 hard that you can continue to do, and there's a whole year-long program that you can do with it. But a lot of those things I still have adopted every single day. I might not go to two workouts every day, but I drink a lot of water, I read, I'm finding my core things to continue my momentum on. And I just think that it's such a transformational experience. And, you know, anything that you do too extreme can, of course, not always work out. It can definitely spike cortisol. It could have a lot of different things. But I think that if you approach it with the aspect of this is to transform me from the inside out, not the outside in, which is how a lot of people start it because they're trying to get to some physique goal. Um, it it's quite transformational. And I and I can't recommend it enough.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Yeah. I so one of the things you didn't mention about it that I think builds that integrity with yourself deeply is that if you miss any one of those elements on any day, even day 74, you go back to day one. Now no one's watching, no one's like, no one's gonna call you, no one's gonna wake you up in the middle of the night banging pots and pans and saying, like, oh my gosh, you're one day away and you missed it. You might as well, you know, go back to number one. And you could just easily say, oh well, I was pretty close. And I think you can take that as such a huge metaphor, whether you do 75 hard or not. But imagine if you focused 75 days on one thing and just decided no matter what, you're gonna do this one thing, whatever it is, whether it's make a sales call every day and get really good at sales calls, whether it's write, you know, write whatever content you need to every day, whether it is um putting yourself out there on video. A lot of people are really scared of how they look on video because they don't want. look ridiculous which is exactly what you need to look for a long time until you don't anymore. And really with 75 Hard 2, I'm sure your expertise at the just like the the habit of doing it started becoming really much probably still had its moments because I wake up in the morning early to go work out too for the last several years. So I know there's most mornings I'm like got it no problem. Some mornings I'm like oh why is today harder I'm still doing it because you develop that muscle and it feels like that integrity piece it really lends itself to what you do which is you know when you're building anything you're going to have those bumps you're going to have people saying it's not going to work you're going to you're going to have the easier path sort of like sitting on your shoulder at all times. And I think for someone who like you who's so good at just like looking forward, acknowledging the shitty parts but still going forward like we're going to figure this out. And it does take like you said it takes that trust or develop a trust in yourself too.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

One of the things what's the other option right like that's what I think about right so and it it's so what is the other option? So if I don't do this thing then what happens and that's honestly the thing that will get me to move more than anything else. So not to cut you off but I do that is like a critical thing that my mind goes sort of like okay if I don't if I don't go to work today like today I I doubt he'll listen to this but um I have a family member who's in town my son is up at the mountain with him today took a day off school. Great. Heather come on come on you can come you can come like you work for yourself I'm just like if I do that if I check if I start to go down the slippery slope of thinking that I can just kind of do whatever I want whenever I feel like it I will have to go work for somebody else at the end of the day. And that is the last thing that I want to do I fully believe that I'm unemployable. I do not and not because of a place of like I I don't say that as like ego or anything else, but I I have such a strong vision I would not be able to live with myself if I did not do every single thing that I could to see that thing through. So most of the times it is like I I've talked uh push pull motivation before it's you know a thing that a lot of people talk about but a lot of the times that's the thing that pushes me until the vision is pulling me because that's just I think what is needed too. So sorry I just I didn't know that's great.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

I I I'm really glad you mentioned that too and I think just knowing you I know that and you mentioned you have faith in in sort of the bigger vision where does that come from do you do you like you said you listen to yourself you sort of go on these walks which I totally agree. I think we're just so inundated with so much noise that mo which is why I talk about intuition so much because we have to be able to cut out that noise to listen. So you're you're doing that how does your faith play in in your business and your leadership like is it I'm just curious because I think some sometimes we need to have that just that trust in something else guiding us for that big vision because otherwise it could be ego it could be money and and honestly I don't think those things are enough to keep you going for many many years. You you can I but I I don't know how it ends. Well I I kind of do I've seen it end a certain way where where like you get to a point and I've worked with clients and I've worked four amazing clients who I've done copy for and there's a there comes a point where like it's so misaligned because the the arrow is just pointing at the wrong thing and the the momentum was sort of going but it when you get there it's like we're going to burn this all down because it's just not quite what it was so how do you keep that like that daily sort of calibration what is that thing that keeps you going for you just for you as a person. I know you said you couldn't live with yourself if you did the other and that's a drive too but like what is that thing that keeps you sort of trusting so deeply in no matter what happens that you're going to keep going I the vision that I have is always like bigger than myself.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

So that's like my first check of okay is this some type of self-fulfilling ego thing which I don't think is always wrong. I think that there are there obviously there are benefits to following certain paths that can be financial that can be just how you are able to live your lifestyle there's there's different experiences that you can have along the way that you wouldn't have otherwise I the biggest things that really get me to move are the things that are beyond me. And they're attached to things that people often give me feedback around that actually come pretty natural to me or I don't realize that I do. Building community was one of them. So before I did kind of branch out on my own, I did a lot of community building in the real estate world and that was just like a no-brainer to me. Like of course if we build a real estate company that is focused on its people instead of the brokerage which at the time back in 2012 I guess that was not really heard of. How can we build community around one another of people that um want similar things that want to be challenged in their thinking that want to grow that want to build how do we kind of bring that together so my I think natural skill set that people reflect to me paired with a the vision that I truly feel like is oftentimes just downloaded into me. It's just what I'm wired to do. When those two things come together I just like who else is going to do it? If it's not me then who? And I really care about the outcome of people I really care about the outcome of small business owners. I care about the outcome of women in business thinking that they have to have um business be a certain way or all or nothing or even the lies that are told where I can only work five hours a week and make seven figures online. Like I I just I really care about truth and integrity. And so I think that it's the now that I'm kind of putting this together verbally out loud with you in real time, uh the downloaded vision plus the reflection of my strengths plus like what my core principles and values are, I think that that creates the stability for my path forward. And I never really thought about it like that until just now. So that's fun. Yeah I love that.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

And it you know just having having had the opportunity to spend time with you over these last several years and closer over this last year in collaboration and I I see and I will reflect back I think your your yes ego is part of it because it's who we are. It's part of like what we want to create in life. And again like you said it's not a bad thing. It just has to be in its appropriate place. It's not the driver it's sort of like the reflector and we get we get a connection with it like oh that would be fun to do you know um but one of the things you do really well is promote other people is know the names of everyone is really care so deeply and actually hold such a high standard for yourself but also the people around you. And I think there's this instant energy of like if you're not someone who has high standards you're just not going to be in the in the circle of like creation because of the space too and I think you can walk in the space and see you're always innovating you're always thinking about how to make it better. And I I really do think that it's a felt thing when you walk in whether there's like two people in the room or 20 in the room there's still that integrity level like you're not going to let someone feel their way out of a goal. Like you're not going to let or yourself right because we do have those days where we're like wouldn't it just be nice to go to the spot today and maybe there are those days but I probably do that more than you would but but that's okay because I think in in being in proximity with you I do think about it more like okay what is this like what is the structure what is the and integrity is a huge value of mine as well and however that looks is is you know different for everyone but I think just to reflect back to you I think you're there is always a leading um intention that comes through that's always about elevating those around you much more than yourself even. And and speaking of that we're gonna do it a little bit right now because you've got a great podcast which I love listening to even though we talk all the time I still love hearing your thought process because I feel like you are a voice that is very much needed right now in this age of easy hacks. I I don't like that word like hacks and shortcuts and AI creating everything for you and this is flat thing that's just oh I I have a love hate relationship with AI for sure. But your podcast is called Shattering Glass and also your book that you've written. Yes I know that you know I guess one of the things I've heard you say is glass ceilings are internal which is for sure I'm a driver of like what you're creating but let's talk about like what does it mean to shatter glass and how is it sort of counterculture right now? Like why is it needed?

SPEAKER_00 32:15

Yeah I think that the as I continue to kind of go on my path of kind of always going against the grain and doing something different than I'm being told there was a time where at some point kind of in the rise of like women's empowerment and stuff you just kind of hear the sentiment over and over again like you know go shatter the glass ceiling. And so I felt like I was taking that order very seriously. I was like yes okay let's go shatter the thing and then those same people that would really encourage that the moment that you shatter the ceiling and then the reality hits of what it actually takes to shatter glass when you actually think about the reality of that not just in theory is that it does create mess. There is a certain velocity that you have to hit the glass at in order to be able to shatter um if you don't hit it at a certain weight at a certain place then it could not shatter it could just crack there could be mess there could be a concussion there could be like literal blood right when you think about that. And then those same people kind of shame you into being like I don't really know what you were thinking like doing that. And so it's you know I I really struggle with women's empowerment and kind of modern day feminism stuff because I am such a yes I I really want to encourage people and there is this like dark side to it that I think is like pretty catty and underhanded that I'm just like not a big fan of and so instead of sitting there looking at the mess that we created thinking like why did I do this or how did I do this like I feel so stupid like look at this mess I created um we actually develop tools skill set thicker skin to be able to go do that knowing that that mess will happen knowing that there will be some type of impact knowing that it's not going to just be a clean thing but must be done if you are to follow developing yourself into your I mean truest potential your fulfilling what you are here on this earth to do. And that's not going to be everybody right we are not speaking to everybody. This is for the very just few distinct people the small percentage in the world that know what I'm talking about. They feel it and they felt some version of that and so I really wanted to write about this and share kind of my learnings through that of how we do develop the skills to continue to do that. The app the option is not to not shatter you have to shatter the glass there's when you are when you have something greater than you on the horizon and a vision that has been instilled in you by the universe God whichever you believe in you have to see it through if you don't the glass starts to surround you and creates a pressure chamber and then ultimately combusts that and creates a lot more issues and damage along the way so the option has to be that you do it. And oftentimes we are creating those own our own layers of glass because we are not doing what we say that we're going to do. So we're creating more friction for ourselves later on which is unnecessary right there's necessary friction and there's unnecessary friction where we're kicking the can down the road or we're delaying on a decision we're choosing not to do something today we're putting it off till tomorrow and then tomorrow then tomorrow then tomorrow and you think about the impact that that has of just kind of delaying that and you create your own strain. You create your own glass that you then have to shatter and then when you're not consistent you're you're like putting up the same pieces and shattering it again and making a bigger and bigger mess. So it's so much of it is self-imposed and so much of it we just need to get out of our own way and also stop listening to a lot of things that we do hear online because most people are speaking from theory not from reality they're speaking from now what is written in AI or in the past right like AI is not the problem. People are the problem of trying to take the shortcuts people would read a book and try to pose those ideas as their own they would copy and paste things from somebody else's content that they paid for like it's people try to take shortcuts left and right. So when we remove all of that we get out of our own way we do what we say we're going to do that helps the thickness layer of your glass you don't need to add to that thickness there is already going to be things that you do have to shatter in life to build skill set to get to the next revenue level learn how to manage and lead people as you start to employ people like there's so many different layers that just naturally are going to be there. First and foremost let's not add to it by being lazy or being honest or pretending like certain things don't matter and help ourselves out a bit and then also not feel the shame or let other people come in and and make you feel like you're on the wrong path and make you feel smaller because again otherwise like then what like what's the other option so a lot of it is self-imposed and I just think that there's a better way to do that. And that's what I really I really encourage people to to just that's like the best place to start like get out of your own way about it. Expect there to be mess move through it there's nothing wrong with you clean up move on yeah don't keep dealing with the same glass over and over and over.

SPEAKER_01 38:46

Yeah and the other option is it's like it's not good. It's if you're not listening if you're not doing the things that you you say you're gonna do I mean that really is a slippery slope to 10 years later having the same cycle of complaints about your life and resentment and guilt and and all of those things that mediocrity like that's the biggest thing that will drive me that drives me the most crazy I think probably is mediocrity.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

I I don't have a I have a very low tolerance for it and that's just not how I'm wired and I can boldly say that without worrying about hurting other people's feelings because the people that want to be status quo go do the job for 40 years do the thing make their impact that they are called to do that's great. What I'm saying and experiencing has nothing to do with you has everything to do with me and how I can live with myself and push myself forward.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

Totally and there's many versions of life and I think one of the things that really facilitates what you're talking about is being surrounded by other people doing this work meaning like not the same work not the same exact vision or goal but really understanding that it takes showing up every day showing up to yourself keeping your promises all those things and actually that's what you created really beautifully is a space where like I have a home office. I've worked in it for 18 years and I still love coming here several times a week because I want to be surrounded by other people who are creating and and experiencing the challenges and having that commitment to something different something bigger something better whatever version of it is and you know whether they're starting or whether they're like creating something massive like you are everything in between I think it's so important. So it's almost like part of your vision like created the support surroundings to create that vision. It's like self-fulfilling environment right because you could also be sitting in some office alone creating some like big plan but you're on the ground feet on the ground like you know in community hosting monthly events hosting programs hosting um but also empowering other people because when you walk in here it doesn't say Heather is building it says you know her connection hub very intentionally yes let's talk about that a little bit because I think in this environment where we're like we're brands we're the brand you know it's it's all about us and what we do and there is something important to the branding and the messaging and sort of being forward and who you are because you're the way that the world interacts with your thing too to some degree at least in the beginning why did you decide to make it kind of less about you and more about the vision yeah I I have the hardest time with self-promotion honestly and so there's like that component to it that'll kind of pin for a moment and the when it came to the hub and really developing the full vision like when I started to really sit there and visualize and think about like okay what because well backing up for one second this came from these monthly breakfast events that we've kind of alluded to here where the only rule that I created when we came together for monthly breakfast events before we had a physical space was no business cards.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Just be you stop worrying about how many cards you're handing out stop worrying about your pitch and what you're saying about yourself and actually ask somebody questions about themselves and get to know them. And then this really cool beautiful thing started to build because then people could trust each other. As women, I think that that trust is so important for building strong referral-based businesses. And then there's the personal component as well that benefits from that. I take my word very seriously. So if I'm recommending somebody I I want to fully know that Elena's going to take care of you. If I refer somebody to Elena I know 100% she is going to take amazing care of them. I don't know that when I just grab somebody's business card. So that was kind of the rule that then created this like need and request from the community to have that type of a facility full time because I would see people out and about then having coffee thereafter or I would see them walking together and kind of developing these friendships and they wanted a everybody wanted a place to just continue to do that. And so you know the vision has always been about the other people I don't even really see myself partaking a lot of the times when I'm creating and so when I sat back and really started to think about okay the full vision of this and when you are online and you do see pockets of the world where people are still seeking out this type of community and maybe they've tried to be part of a community and maybe unfortunately they connected with the wrong one and they've felt kind of that cattiness and that And they've felt the not right fit, or it was all about sales and not about relationships or whatever, right? Like there's a there's a place for all of those things. But you see a lot of pockets of people that are wanting the same and they're struggling. And again, it goes back to like, well, I can create that. So why couldn't I create that there? Why couldn't I create that at that location and that look? Like, why does it just have to be here? It doesn't actually, because my own ceiling would tell me that, oh, well, I don't, I don't know anybody in Santa Rosa, California, which is where we've started to host these events and can think about our second location. Um, but I did it anyways. And it turns out that it works great there, just like it does here. And as we continue on and on and on, it's it became so important that it was for the people and not just because of me. And so there had to be something that spoke to everybody. And if it was just about me, I don't want to be the connector. I I guess I don't want to be the focal point. I want to be the connector to connect people, but they are building out the entirety of the community. That's great that we have this amazing location, huge, all of the square footage, but it wouldn't mean anything if it was just me there. What it what makes it that is that you show up and Sonia shows up and Jessica shows up and Patty shows up and all these people that build into that community. And so that's why, because it really had nothing to do with me other than I have the vision for it. And then the personal branding component from there, I struggle with. I've shared that with you. Like I even my book coming out, I'm like, I'm just not really talking about it. I I have a hard time with it. And so I just I naturally look for ways to make it about how, but how can I put my energy towards making something about somebody else too? So so there's naturally that there. And the vision for this to work has to be about other people, can't be about me at all. And that's why it was named nothing. I mean, aside from having H's, um, there's nothing connected to me about that. And that was a really important piece.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

I love that. So for so many reasons, energetically, you know, the drive that's there, the fact that regardless of your emotional, you know, theme that day or whatever, like the place is still open, people are still coming, they're still here, and that's such a beautiful thing. But let's do you mind taking a few minutes and doing a little like glance.

SPEAKER_00 46:54

I I will follow your lead, my friend.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

So I got to hear a chapter of your book because you shared it with the community at a breakfast, I think, last year. And it was really powerful and really important because I think, you know, sometimes knowing you and looking at you and sort of seeing you from the outside, there's there's a real strength, a veneer of strength and a veneer of like she's got it together. And we all sort of strive to have it together, but we all know also that we never really have it all together, and really life is a series of friction moments, like you, like you pointed out and painted so beautifully, and that we get to decide how honest we are with ourselves, how deeply we go into our own, I'll say healing, because I don't, you know, not necessarily that we're we're broken or anything's wrong with us, but we do have sort of these little wounds and little bruises that we get along the way. And if we don't acknowledge them, they do build up over time, especially without a lack of support, which I think a lot of women, especially at your caliber, will be just fine figuring it out yourself for a very long time until you can't, until there's that moment of friction is just too much, and you need to ask for support. So, what was your driver for writing the book? And what do you hope people who read it get out of it?

SPEAKER_00 48:10

The book honestly felt kind of like how I described the vision. It just felt kind of like a download. I I wrote the bulk of it in like three weeks. It was post-opening the hub and going through this really horrendous embezzlement and really having kind of everything brought into question for me of uh now what am I going to do? Everything that I thought that that was going a certain way turns out it was not. Um and so now, now what? Right. And went through this kind of very interesting time where then I was like, you know what? I just I had kind of grinded it out into a certain point where I was like, I need I need to take some time off. And I need to I need to take time off from my day to day because I just got stolen from X amount, recovered X amount, like really went through like a very intensity push of I I got across this one marker on the race, and then I I gotta take a pace lap. I just I have to scale it back a bit. And so I did that, and in that time, um, you know, I'm I'm a I'm a producer, so I was then went from producing in the business to like doing patio pavers and whatever else. Cause I just my brain, I I work better in motion, and so my brain can process things. I can my brain is wired for strategy. I do that when I'm in motion and in movement. So if that's a walk, if that's planting something in my yard, if that's literally building out a patio, whatever that might be. And that's what I did, and it just flowed from me. And I I think because I was dealing with such a heavy experience, feeling like I was cleaning it up on my own because I I was experiencing that. Like, yeah, yeah, you do that. And then, like, what do you think was gonna happen? Like, you idiot. Like, of course you're gonna have this mess to clean up. Of course, you experience this, of course that person stole from you. Like, I in real time experienced that from people that I thought were close in my life. And um, I kind of went through this entire thing, and then it all kind of clicked for me of like of this kind of analogy of shattering glass. And so I, you know, the saying goes often that it's lonely at the top. And my coach, Andy Frisella, actually says it's actually really lonely in the middle. And so when you're you're navigating through and you're taking yourself to new places and new viewpoints along the way on the mountain, there are gonna be people that are left behind. And there are gonna be some other people on the journey as well that you're gonna see for part of it and like be alongside each other, and then you're gonna part ways again. And it there can be a lot of loneliness there. And it doesn't mean that something's wrong. And I think for so much of my life, I felt like there was something wrong with me in growing up, in taking risks, and feeling so compelled and so drawn into the vision that is placed on my heart, I would hate for anybody else to feel that same way. And so the best thing I knew to do was document it all so that if that book just helps one person have the strength to keep going and get up the next day and brush themselves off and sweep the glass to the side, like that's the goal because I know how hard and how painful that can be to do it on your own and to feel the shame and guilt that goes along with it when that's not necessary and doesn't need to be there. And I wish that I had that form of truth shared with me at the time that I really needed it.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

Yeah, I love that. Well, thank you for sharing that. I I think um just knowing you and how you storytell and how you share very intentionally, not just for like, here's my sad story, you're gonna learn from it. No, it's very lived and it's very embodied. And there's this saying, like, as within, so without, as above, so below. And I think sometimes the lower you go, the higher you go, lower meaning, what feels like you're at rock bottom, what feels like, wow, this is not how I thought it would go. And this is very painful ultimately, because ultimately it is money. It is, you know, as you mentioned, the embezzlement, but it's actually very painful because it's a human connected to you who was able to, in all of their awareness and humanity and and relationship to you, was able to do something that was so just first of all, illegal and wrong in general, but also very hurtful and very personal, right? You can read all of the don't take things personally, you know, four agreements that you want, which is my favorite book. So also I read it like when I was 21, and it just became the staple of how I intend to live, not always do, but it's such a great compass to at least turn back to in those moments. But it takes some time to get there because you can't go straight from like, oh shit, this just happened. Well, it was impersonal. Let's just move on. That's unrealistic and that's bypassing yourself, that's gaslighting yourself. That really doesn't acknowledge that all of this just happened and this is how you feel. And I think you taking all of that emotion and taking all of the lessons learned will speak to how high your capacity can go now. Because I think in order to have the capacity to go really big and go really high, you have to have experienced. Um, like for some reason, I don't know why I'm thinking of Tony Robbins, but like everyone has those stories where he's like, you know, I use my last dollar to give money to this person who needed it. Like I just trusted, and now he's this global brand. Not that one is equal to the other, but I think the depth that you can experience your own humanity and your own self and your own moments of, am I actually gonna do this? Like this isn't so I actually want to put myself in this situation again, is the capacity to which you have to serve others and to be able to teach and be able to share from a place of not just reading someone else's, you know, post and having an idea and sharing that, like a lot of people do these days because it's so easy and it's an easy thing to do, but really like gold mining within yourself and and being willing to share those like nuggets that you find and to be able to put them into words. And the cover is gorgeous. I'm so glad you put yourself on the cover because though you can't see how it's absolutely stunning woman. And I think in that case is where branding is very important because you are like, yes, you're not here, but we all feel you when you're here, we all feel your intentionality. So whether it's like proper branding to put your face on the book or just like, yeah, you need to lead this because you do. I mean, there listen, there's a lot of beautiful faces, and you can put them all on covers all you want, but the one that has the depth of experience and integrity and resonance is going to be the one that's gonna be picked up off the shelf. So that's exactly what you did. I'm glad you did that. So yeah, depending on when you're listening to this, there's probably a link to either just Heather's content, which we'll talk about, um, and the hub, of course, but maybe the book. So let's it's coming out pretty soon. Right.

SPEAKER_00 56:20

It'll be available for pre-order soon. So yeah, I likely there will be some type of link that can be shared. And and thank you. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 56:28

And you know what? We'll time it so that happens. We'll make sure that it has the best chance to get to the most hearts and minds. And um I'm so happy that we had this conversation. There's like really a lot of other places we could go because I know I know more about like what you've done and the things you're capable of and just the things that you're building out. So maybe we'll have a part two very soon, maybe like post-book reflection and see what happened and and all the cool places and all the cool things you're building that that deserve to have a space and a conversation and shared with people. So, Heather, thank you so much. And yeah, and just to reflect back to you, I think that you're I mean, there's definitely humility about you, but you're just a powerful force of nature that will inspire and keep people around you going. And and also one thing that you do really well is you see the best in people. Like you really do. And I think that I know that can come with a double-edged sword for sure. Um, I can't remember if I heard you say that on your podcast, The Skill of One.

SPEAKER_00 57:34

Um, I think it was I think I think in all the all the instances, my greatest gift is seeing the potential in somebody, but it also becomes my greatest weakness. That's it, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 57:46

I just heard that a few hours ago because I was sort of, you know, I do listen to your new episodes. You had three come out at the same time, it's very much um, but I did because I have a lot of time at the gym. So but I do think that's such a thing, that's a real gift, and I do think it has that shadow side too of like not, and I I actually have a very similar gift where like I just assume that people are gonna say what they do what they say they're gonna do because I do. And like, and that doesn't always happen, and that's okay because I'm also human, and I don't there are times where I'm like, oh shit, I didn't do that. Um, but I think your your gifts are really just beautiful to witness. I am very grateful to know you and to be a friend and to be able to, you know, really be in your space. And I'm so excited for everything you're creating, and we'll keep sharing it. And yeah, any final thought you want to share?

SPEAKER_00 58:33

I am just so I love having these types of conversations and am grateful to be able to have them in such a cool container. I think that even just kind of me wrestling through with like a kind of a new thought process is just very telling of who you are and what you draw out of people. And I will just echo that I really just enjoy so much like working alongside you and building and co-creating and collaborating with you. And I am just so honored. So thank you very much for the the time and the space and some reflection and all of the goodness that came from today. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 59:13

And I'll give you a hug later today. But yes so much. I hope you enjoyed the conversation. Um, I will have all the links below to not only her connection hub if you're local or if you're passing through the area, but where to find Heather and her connection hub online, and you can see all the incredible businesses and women and what everyone's doing here and the few brave men who come into the space too. But in general, there's so many incredible, inspiring like projects and businesses and services here that you just want to take a peek and just follow along and uh share any thoughts and comments. As always, we will see you on the next episode of an intuitive life.