You Don't Have to Fit in One Box with Jessica Evans

A somatic coach and energy healer on shedding labels, trusting the mess, and finding your work through midlife reinvention.

What happens when you're good at many things, and the world keeps telling you to pick just one?

In this episode, I sit down with Jessica Evans, esthetician turned somatic coach, energy healer, and self-described "portal", for an honest conversation about reinvention in midlife.

From opening a spa in 2020 to walking away from one-on-one facials toward Goddess Flow and community grief circles, Jessica shares the messy, non-linear path of following her intuition instead of forcing herself into a single tidy label.

Together, we reframe "throwing spaghetti at the wall" as courageous action and data-gathering, explore why nervous system healing needs community to last, and remind you that you don't discover your one thing until you've lovingly tried many.

A few bullet points (What we explore):

• Why reinvention rarely arrives in a straight line, and how to trust the mess
• Reframing "throwing spaghetti at the wall" as brave action, not failure
• Moving from fixer to portal: holding space instead of doing the work for someone
  
  

Resources & Links Mentioned:

• The Flow State Collective — Jessica's online collective meeting virtually near the full/new moons, with personalized weekly card pulls and a growing library of somatic tools
• Goddess Flow Yoga — returning in person in August (Saturday mornings), and coming to the Flow State Collective too.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome back to an Intuitive Life podcast. This is Elena Lipson, your intuitive coach and mentor, and all the other things that we talk about all the time with labels, which is really gonna be what we're talking about today. I'm so excited to have Jessica Evans here with me today. This we've had a relationship ongoing for several years, and it started through copy and messaging support and also included some really lovely facial work and some eyebrow work. And I've just been so fascinated, Jessica, to watch your journey unfold. And I hope we can dig into it a little bit today and inspire some people to not have to label their journey or make assumptions about how things should be because I've watched you reinvent yourself in some really fantastic, beautiful, probably some scary ways to you, not to me, who's wonderful on this end. So welcome, Jessica, to an intuitive life. How are you?

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Oh, thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. I'm doing well. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Yeah. So okay, so where are you today? Are you in an office, in the studio? Like where is your place right now?

SPEAKER_00 1:11

So this is my spa that um, of course, I'm transitioning out of doing facials. So I'm gonna be using this room for different things, classes, workshops, things like that. But this is my magic space.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Awesome. I love it. Yeah. So I think let's start there, maybe, because one of the ways that most of the people in our community know you here locally, both live in Bellingham, Washington, uh, is as a really talented, skilled, facial, not facial, um aesthetician? Aesthetician? Are we going there? Okay, aesthetician. And just really well connected, have a great community with people who trust you with their face and all the beautiful services that you've offered, which I've gotten to experience as well. And how how long ago did you? It was called Blue Room, or is it still that aspect of the business still called Blue Room? Okay. So, how how did that start? How did you decide to open up a physical place where you help people? It's kind of a, you know, we live in a digital world. So a lot of us here listening are like not really brick and mortar, some are, but how did you decide to do that?

SPEAKER_00 2:16

Totally. Um, well, it was 2020 and the world was flipped upside down for everyone, right? Um, and particularly for myself, because my dad um got COVID and he lives in California, so I was caretaking for him long distance. Um, it came to a point where I actually needed to go to California to physically be there. And um after his passing, I was cleaning out his room. And my dad was kind of a recluse, like he wasn't a very social person. He really kept to himself even from me, really. Um, but as I was cleaning out his belongings, I realized that he had this whole business going on in his room. So he was a very talented musician, and he was able to purchase broken musical equipment and fix them with technology that is old school, people aren't doing it anymore. So he had this really beautiful skill. And he would repair these instruments and sell them on eBay. And his brother is also a very successful entrepreneur. So this entrepreneurial spirit has been in my um aura for a really long time. And it was just in that moment where I realized, wow, my dad has been doing this. It's time for me to do it. So I um was working as an essential worker uh with a wine and uh spirits distributing company during COVID, and I transitioned into my spa blue room. I had been an aesthetician at that point for 12 years, so I was really um solid in my skills and in my belief that I could do that business. And even at a time where the industry could get shut down at any moment because it already had been, I just knew that it was my destiny to open the spa. So Blue Room was born from there.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Yeah, I love that conviction. So where you were working as an esthetician as well before that? Were you working for something?

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Totally. Yeah. I had the reason I became an aesthetician is because I got a list of 125 different things I could do with my license. And as an Aquarius who constantly gets bored, I was like, yes, one thing I can do a bunch of different things with. So I have lived all over. So I was uh an aesthetician in Bremerton, I was an aesthetician in Hawaii. Um, and even when I was doing the essential work or in that that position, I was still doing aesthetics on the side. I had a little room downtown Bellingham that I had rented out from a woman, and I would just do facials and waxing periodically. So even when I tried to get away from aesthetics, I just never could.

unknown 5:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Well, speaking of someone who was on your table and got services from you, I remember, and even actually working with you, helping you with the copywriting piece, I remember our calls. Your energy was so specifically calming and soothing and grounding. Like there was something about being with you in the room or even over a Zoom that was so special and like it felt very present and very, I don't know, powerful in a way that was really grounded. So I was not surprised when I saw you start branching out into other pieces of your work, but I'm curious because this whole podcast is really meant for women in this sort of like 40s, 50s plus stage of life where life life in very different ways. We have kids who are growing or grown, we have relationships that are shifting and evolving, we have our bodies that are shifting and evolving in, you know, sometimes in like, oh, I expected this to happen otherwise. And other times we're like, well, does this really have to be the way society tells me it has to be? And we start questioning that, especially if we've had sort of um our own awakenings already, and if we've had opportunities to carve our own path in some ways, and you're already used to like bucking the trends or bucking the norms, like, oh, how this I'm supposed to be at 40, 50, 60, whatever. So so as I started seeing you sort of step into new pieces of your work, I'm curious, I was curious watching you like, like, how did that happen? You know, because it feels, I know it can feel very sort of chaotic and very ungrounding when you start making those kind of changes, but something's guiding you. So I'm curious from from within, how did how was that for you? Like, how did you start to decide to like start adding either new services or had that idea, like, wait a minute, I think this spa is going to be transitioning in some ways. I'm I'm curious how that started for you. As like what planted that seed for you.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Yeah, absolutely. Um, well, the thing that really started the thought process of where is the spa headed was my son graduating from high school. It is such a big transitional time from needing to make sure they get out the door to get on to school and then do you have a lunch and all the things of motherhood. And I just kind of realized, wow, my life is gonna be really different in who knows, right? One year, two year, three years. He's still at home right now, so I still don't know when it's gonna be completely different, but I knew at some point my life was gonna be very different. And what I wanted to be really intentional about how I designed my life moving forward. I so it was my son graduating from high school and realizing that maybe I might want to have a different opportunity within my business, but also honestly, the biggest turning or the biggest thing that made me realize that I needed or I wanted to offer different things was you could come into my spa, I could get you so legally, lovely relaxed. And then as soon as you get off my table, you can see an annoying email, an annoying text message, you get a parking ticket, somebody um cuts you off, and all that work that we've done to the nervous system is just gone. And I knew that there had to be a different way to support women so that that nervous system health and nervous system regulation could last much longer than just the one hour that I have with you. So it was this call to do work that the impact was greater.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Yeah, I love that. So, okay, so when you started having those ideas, what did that look like for you? Like, how did you decide which direction you would go in?

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Well, I've had a couple people over the years tell me, you should be a life coach. And I have always also had the thought of, wow, I've really been through a lot in my life. There's gotta be some sort of reason, right? Like, what what is my purpose? What is the reason that I've gone through all of these things? What is the reason that I've collected all of this wisdom at a ripe age of 44 and not even that old, but I feel like I've gotten a lot of wisdom from just life experiences. And so that's kind of where I decided I was going to research and look into becoming a life coach. So um I was really I was really determined to find a certification that had some sort of um clout to it. It wasn't just some like random certification on um online. I wanted it to have some sort of like meaning behind it. So that's when I went through the Jay Shadetti life life coach certification. And it was really fun. I had a lot of good fun working with those clients, right? Um and then as I'm working with clients, I'm I'm realizing that the certification that I received was really behavioral based. There was a lot of like um make sure that they um meditate and they journal and they do all of these things every day. And wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

How do you do that?

SPEAKER_00 10:45

We we would love to do that, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Sure, just ask and someone does it. Check mark, good job.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

Exactly. That's what I was saying, right? Like, sure. Uh and so that's when I I really realized that there's gotta be something, there's a layer deeper than just the behavior. There's there's some sort of programming that we're running on. And that's when I found the Quantum Coaching Academy. And um, we really focused like on the subconscious programming, um, neuro-linguistic programming where we rewire the subconscious mind and the embodiment part, right, is it's not just in the mind. Our programs live in our bodies as well. So that connected my desire to work with the nervous system and make lasting impact.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I think being a somatic coach as you are now, which I love, I think that's so um pointing to the place where real change can happen. Because like I I got certified as a coach many, many years ago when I lived in California. And I remember like the first thing we were taught to do is called the hundred um clean sweep was the clean sweep. And it was like a hundred, it's like one document with like six categories of the life buckets, and each one had these habits. Like it was total a hundred habits that you had to sort of like check off, and you as the coach had to check them all first because you have to sort of be the coach that you know. But it was interesting because I remember feeling the same thing. I'm like, I'm like, okay, it's a good start. Like this is a good start because you can check it off, but then like you don't always do it necessarily. Is that still right? Like, is that still real? Like, how do you it's like around habits, right? That was big in the time of like um the seven habits of highly effective people and all those things, sharpen your own saw. Like, there was really good science-backed habit tracking and change. However, as we grow and go into life and life gets more complex, you we do understand that, like, wait a minute, there's reasons we're not doing things. Like, could it be a little different? Like, what's happening here? Why, like, I'm an adult, I'm smart, I have success in all these areas of life, but in this one area, I keep getting stuck in the same exact pattern. Um, why? Like, am I just bad at this thing? Like, I'm so good at these other things. And and all of a sudden, as you you start to really understand, and if you're lucky enough to step into some energetic work and physicality and maybe yoga, yoga was like my doorway into it. I was like, I remember feeling I'm like, oh, that's interesting. Like, I just did an hour of yoga, but like I actually feel so clear. I got all these ideas. Like, I there was that mind-body connection that started to happen with yoga that really started to put me on a different path of like something else is going on here, and just talking about it is great. And they feel inspired. I'm really good at inspiring people, but there's something else going on when you actually connect the thought, the movement, the awareness, the understanding that there might be a something else. I wouldn't call it patterns back then, but like something else going on, maybe from your childhood, like sort of that, you know, um, philosophy of therapy, maybe started stepping into it. So I love I love that you found that. So, how did that shift? Um, I know I've seen the quantum coaching certification, it looks awesome. And I've seen sort of on following you online some of the things that you were able to do. So, how did that shift your actual like implementation of coaching and the type of way you work with people?

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Yeah, I mean, it changed everything. Um it it really it it really shifted a lot of my perspective on even my intention for wanting to be a coach. Um I really realized that I'm a fixer and I think that that worked really well as an aesthetician because there's I have a problem, oh I'll help you fix it. And throughout my own healing, because within the quantum coaching academy, not only do you get to learn the techniques, but you get the techniques done to you. So over the six months that I was in that program, I went underwent such a huge personal transformation. And so the fixer has been kind of healed, and it's really changed my entire um perspective and how I approach coaching from a different standpoint of I'm not trying to fix you. I'm not trying, I'm not even trying to help you. I really just want to um hold space and be a portal for you to find your own answers.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

I love that. I love it. So within that, and I just want to I like the way I've seen you evolve online has been really cool. And and I think sometimes, especially also when I work with clients over the years, sometimes there's certain kind of person who's so good at several different things. And that's that can be seen as a not so positive thing, as like, why can't I just be good at one thing? And I I think we have been taught to label ourselves the one thing, like I'm an aesthetician and that's what I do. And so, how could I even maybe you have a thought of doing something else, but you're like, yeah, but I'm an aesthetician. I've invested all this time and money and energy and physical space. So that's what I see. And I see it with myself and I've seen it with my clients, and I think it's such a limitation of like how we are wired as some of us are wired as humans to have multiple interests. I know there was like a phrase going around for a while, which was multi-passionate entrepreneur, which I think it was just a catchy marketing phrase because I don't think we're actually passionate about a lot of things. We're like, I have all these passions and I have to express them all at the same time. I don't think so. I think what I see and what I see in you, and I'd love to sort of hear your experience of it, is your your expression sort of opened up. You're like, I have these interests and I'm going through these changes and I'm also embodying several different aspects of myself. And so, why would I limit myself to this like one lane? I can do multiple things. And I've struggled with this myself because I'm like, oh, I love to dance and I love to write and I love to coach and I love to do all these different things. I'm like, how do I combine it all into one thing? Right. That's the ethos of the sort of digital marketing. Take 10 of your interest and combine them into one, and then you have the perfect career, and you're like, yeah, but how? It's almost impossible, right? So we're we start to like, once we start to slough off those layers of like conditioned labeling, what I've seen you do is phenomenal. You're like, I've seen you get trained or licensed as a trainer, I've seen you host yoga, I've seen you do card pulls, I've seen you do energy um healing, I've seen you do grief and embodiment coaching. Like, I'm like, oh, and what it looks like to me is an expansion of who you are. And I would love to know, like, from your from within of that experience, how is that journey for you? Like, are you feeling the expansiveness of it? Because that's what I can see and feel from you. Or was it more of like a rough journey of like, how do I do all these things in one label and one sweet little box of a bow? You know, which which we none of us are that. It would be it would be very comfortable for a lot of people if we could just label ourselves and squeeze ourselves into one tiny box, but that's not how we're made, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:57

Totally, yeah. It's been a rough go, Alina. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Tell me. Tell me all about well, tell me as much as you want, but tell me all about it.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

So I I fully receive that you you've seen the expansion and you see the beauty in my multi um faceted work because um it hasn't really even been until May of this year, so two months ago, that I really um embraced that. So, yes, it has been a rough go because within um, as any good business owner does when they're starting a new venture, they, you know, look for um guide mentors and guidance. And so I had hired a coach, a business coach that was highly recommended. And it was kind of like you have to she had the the thought process of picking the one topic, and that's who you are. And so I just felt like I was just throwing spaghetti at the wall. Okay, well, what about this? And well, what about this? And what about this? And it's like I I could not decide on just one because they all feel so important to me. And so literally in May, I felt I had this feeling like there was just too many cooks in my kitchen. I was getting too many ideas, too many people were telling me that this is the way that it should be done, or no, this is the way that should be done. And and then the messaging and the marketing don't even get me started. And so um from Memorial Day weekend, I just shut it down. I shut down all thought processes, didn't go on technology, didn't think about my business at all. And I got so much clarity in those three days because I was able to quiet the noise and really get centered with myself and figure out what I want. And within that, those three days, I didn't get the, oh, I have the answer. But what I got was I need to pull back even further. So uh I stepped out of several coaching communities that I've been a part of for over a year and put myself into a cocoon and gladly turned myself into a goo and a puddle. And I just said, I don't, I'm not thinking about it. I I really wanted it to just come to me, what I wanted it to be. And it was not gonna come to me if I was keep pushing and pushing and pushing and listening and throwing at the wall. So really the magic came for me when I just pushed pause. And when I did that, I was really able to get super clear on what I want from my business and the um what I'm actually able to uphold. Because in the traditional coaching sense, you know, you get your one-to-one clients and then you can build a coaching program, and then and then you you're successful, right? Those are the steps. And I knew that coming from the aesthetic world, the one-to-one and the scheduling, I just it just doesn't align with me anymore. It's a constant juggle of reschedulings and cancels, and and it just doesn't feel good to my nervous system. So to transfer over to one-to-one coaching clients was also not translating to my audience because it wasn't translating well to me. And so I really had to just step back and and ask myself, what do I want? What do I want from my business? How do I want to serve? And the goddess yoga, I call it flow now because there's been a lot of resistance around yoga, which is fascinating.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

Really? Interesting. Like just like philosophically or just like what?

SPEAKER_00 21:50

I'm not flexible. Oh, I see, like physically. Yeah. I don't do yoga, so I can't do it. I'm like, this isn't yoga. So I've changed.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Right, exactly. They think we're doing flows and stuff. So I've changed it to Goddess Flow to kind of um uh communicate that it's more flowy, not yogi. But um the feedback that I was receiving from that class has been incredible. And the the work that we do in the 75 minutes that we are in that class is just the beginning. These women leave that class and then they go and continue to do the work for themselves outside. And that is really where I feel like my medicine will shine the most is again, I just want to be the portal. I just want to hold the space for you because I'm really good at holding space. I'm really good at creating an experience for you to go deeper in within yourself without me actually having to guide much of the experience for you, but just to be there. So um the goddess flow is is really the staple, is gonna be the staple of my business moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

I love that. And I've been wanting to come to one personally, just hasn't quite fit because I take dance classes on Thursday nights as well. So it will work one day and I will I will get to experience. I actually do really miss yoga. It was such a huge, like transitional experience for me in general. And I actually did get certified. Well, I took the six-month teacher training and I didn't get certified because I thought that doesn't fit the box that I'm I'm creating, right? Like I'm a coach and I'm a this. Like, how does that fit? So I didn't go for the certification. I remember thinking that, like, oh, interesting. I wonder how many other things I didn't let myself sort of fully experience. I was really good at it. Like I loved it, I was in it fully. Like I studied that the you know, anatomy and the energetic principles of it. It was really like it was just it felt like a second language to me, and I didn't do it because at that time I was like, I don't want to be a yoga teacher, like that doesn't make any sense. And now I'm like, well, the best things aren't going to make sense. So I also I think I just resisted having like a place to be and a place to go because I really liked working from home. And anyway, so I can see clearly now that it was one of those times where as a woman creating, I was like, that doesn't fit my my narrative, so it's out. Like, what else did I not embrace because of that? And so I'm I'm really, really exploring that right now, too, because I think for so many of us, like, even if you had those ideas, and I think throwing spaghetti at the wall is way underrated because what you're actually doing in that throwing spaghetti at the wall is you're taking action and you're trying things out. You wouldn't have known that that yoga class was the thing that was like, whoa, that was cool. Like, that was fun, that was great, people loved it. I loved it. I don't know where it's gonna go, but it's so good. And I and I wouldn't have known that if I didn't do it. So I think what we do instead of throwing a spaghetti is we actually gather all the spaghetti and we sit in it and we're like, I know I just don't want to do anything because it's just so much spaghetti, and I'm just tired of having ideas that I don't act on, right? Which is the which is like the shadow side of what you did. So I think you can have a coach that can say, well, just pick one thing and you're like, I don't know how to do that. And like, okay, well, and maybe if that coach had said, well, just over the next two months, just try a bunch of shit. Like, just try it. Just try something. And then that would have given you like a different reframe around it because I don't think throwing spaghetti at the wall is a bad thing because you are doing something and you are getting feedback, you are getting data, and you're like, that didn't work. That didn't work. Oh, that was cool. Let's go deeper in that one. And to me, this whole like era of our of our lives right now, when we're like, oh, who are we now? It's so important to give women permission to be like, I don't know, neither do you, and that's okay. Let's start there. Like, let's let's give everyone permission to like take a few meatballs and hock them at the wall. And just because it means you're actually in motion, you're doing something, and then you can pay pause and say, Did that like what was that like? Did I like it? Did I like an element of it? Did I like because if I had thrown that that you know, yoga spaghetti at the wall, yoga teacher, I don't know what doors that would have opened. I'm not sitting here and regret about it, but I'm I'm learning from it. Like it didn't fit the narrative that I had, even though I loved every minute of it. I loved the training and the doing and the physicality and the energy. And the we did it was a very mystical teacher. So we went really, really deep into the energy behind it too. And I'm like, oh, this is so good. And I was like telling everyone about it, and I would just like I would do it every day on my own at home, like for an hour. It's like I was really in it, but I didn't give myself permission to like, well, I don't know, what would it be like to combine coaching and yoga? Let's just like see how that goes. And and funny enough, the woman who was doing it, she was a psychiatrist and a yoga teacher, and she opened this like six-month like container to do both. Like, I'm like, oh, interesting. If I would have just like popped out for a second and saw what she was doing, I would have seen something a little different. So I love that you threw a bunch of things out and realized like one-on-one is not for me, but the yoga really hit something for me and others. And so I think that's a really beautiful thing. So I would, I would just love to offer that to you to own that because there's nothing is wasted in those moments. Like it's just about allowing ourselves to catch catch when we're in we're stuck in that like space of oh, this is how it should be. So I can't do that, right? Because you could have easily just said, this doesn't match what I'm doing and not done it, but you did it. And I think it's that's where you're you're also really good at like the community piece, too, right? Because you've been in this community for a while. So okay, off that little pedestal.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Um, I wanna I wanna pause there and say thank you so much for that reframe, because um I I deal with a lot of shame. Shame is my shadow, a lot of shame. Same girl. So anytime that I threw something at the wall and it didn't feel good, I shame spiraled. And I had nobody reframing it like how you just said to me. But the instant that you just said that, my body just relaxed because it was like, that's right. I I was it was action, even though it was messy, and even though that's not where I landed, I was still taking action and I was learning and collecting data. And that is the whole point.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

That's the whole point. I just got chills. That is the whole point. That is the whole point.

unknown 28:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

Like, how will you know unless you take the action and try?

SPEAKER_01 28:30

You will, I mean, you could think, you sort of like guess, but unless unless you actually put it out there, you know. I think um we're we're so entrained in this age of like as you scroll. Sometimes I do it on purpose. I'm like, let me just give myself five minutes and see what happens when I scroll. And every almost like, especially during the day, especially during midday, if you're scrolling, every single scroll is like, did you know that you're this? Or I bet you think you're this, but you're not. Like, and if you're doing this, you're wrong. Like for five minutes, I'm like, wow, that is so bad. Like, why are we? I mean, I know why we're wired, we're sort of wired that way. And I think shame is a shadow for a lot of us, especially women. Um, I know it's one of mine for sure, just like I just learned it's also the shadow in the Enneagram that I don't really know about. Like, I'm a number four and my thing is shame. Like, I could have told you that, but like it sort of created another layer of like, oh, I get it. There's things that I'm ashamed of that I need to reframe for myself too. And so I'm really usually really good at reframing for others. And it's a little more difficult for myself, even though I fully like embody that too. So I totally understand, and I think it's so important to for all of us to acknowledge where we're experiencing something as bad, not good, wrong. Somebody, somebody in our mind is not improving, whether it's a part of ourselves, which I'm very interested in, like internal family systems and that parts work. That's been very, very useful for me in the type of coaching that I do because it gives us a little bit of separation from like even if we're like, I have shame versus like, oh, shame is a part of my story, and I can externalize it and examine it and take a look at it with compassion and love and dignity, and then and then sort of reabsorb it as a healed version. That's a really different experience versus saying, like, I have shame in my body, you know, and we do carry it that way. We do carry it that way, unless unless someone says, like, well, that part's pretty beautiful too. Let's take a look, right? And so that makes me think about what I've seen you do too, which I don't know if you still do the grief work that you do, but I I remember looking at that, and it's just such a powerful piece for a lot of people who carry grief for whether it's loss of self or loss of loved ones or loss of a phase of life or loss of a story that you know, a marriage or whatever it could be. There's so many levels of of grief that we do carry. I I'm I'm curious if that's still part of the work that you do, Jessica.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Yeah, absolutely. Um I have this calling or this this desire to offer the grief work as like a community service because there is unfortunately a lot of times there's a very high price tag that is attached to healing. And um I just feel really really called to offer it as a community service instead of as like a paid service that I um offer. And maybe that'll change. It will most likely change, but like for now, it just feels I feel really strongly about that. So um I'm going to be hosting um monthly circles, and they're gonna be different kinds of grief because um I personally have lost both of my parents, and that's a certain kind of grief. And I have women who have lost their children, and they've communicated to me that that's a special kind of grief, and and I want to honor the grief in that way, and so I'm gonna have circles that are designed around um each kind of grief, right? Like, or the grief of uh an identity, uh, the grief of motherhood ending, those kinds of things. I just feel like um the community aspect to healing with grief is so incredibly important. And I just want to see, I just want to light that fire and see how it goes.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Yeah, I love that. I I think you know, a lot of times the healing modalities are very, like you said, they do have a high price tag to them. And so they're like kind of exclusively available to, you know, certain people who can afford them. So I really love that you're creating a space for um for it to happen, you know, make it accessible, I guess. So what's your intention behind behind it? Like it's your is it just to do you want to like develop a skill set within yourself? You is it really about just like creating the energy in the room? Like, how are you, or are you just like gonna throw that spaghetti, that beautiful spaghetti at the wall? Like, do you have an intention for it to grow or are you just gonna kind of feel into it as you go?

SPEAKER_00 33:23

Right now, my intention is just to feel into it as I go. I have been like while I was throwing the spaghetti, I felt like I was um pushing, but I was meeting with I was met with so much resistance. And now that I'm in the the um energy of just letting it come to me, I just want to see how what happens. So uh honestly just holding the circles and and seeing what people what people need from there and create it as it kind of unfolds is my intention with the grief work for now.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

I love that. I love that. So what so what does your like if you were to introduce yourself to someone, right? Like what how did you talk about your business? How do you talk about what you do now?

SPEAKER_00 34:16

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

Like with my little messaging hat on. Let's let's see what you're gonna do. What is it about? What's it about?

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Um, I'm I'm definitely a somatic coach. I am definitely an energetic healer. I am I'm just a portal. And so that's what I would say what my work is. I'm I'm a portal for you to go deeper.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

I love that. And is there a specific like not specific, but like who do you find is is attracted to your work right now? Who would who would be like, oh yeah, that's me. Like I need to, I need to get me some majestica. Like what what is that person going through? What is their challenge or opportunity at the moment?

SPEAKER_00 34:57

Totally. Um I tend to attract uh women who have probably been in therapy for many, many years and are still finding themselves repeating the same cycles or in the same situations that they thought they they healed themselves from. And um I really love to work with women who like to go deep but aren't looking for somebody else to do the work for them. So they're very uh self-aware and um they're gonna do the work for themselves if I'm in the room or not. So yeah, that's generally who I attract.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Okay, I love that. And what are you most excited about looking forward as your work is getting more solidified and you're finding different pieces of it and putting it together in that beautiful puzzle? Like what are you most excited about?

SPEAKER_00 35:55

I am most excited about honestly, Alina. What I'm most excited about is doing the work with people, but it it's taking less energetic toll on myself. In the aesthetic room and when I work one-on-one with people, I I expend a lot of energy. And it's kind of defeating to spend a to expend a ton of energy into somebody, and then as soon as they leave the room, all the work we have done together is gone. And so really I'm looking forward to recalibrating how much energy I actually expend into my work because when I do goddess flow, it sounds weird, but like when there's 10 women in the room, I actually expend less energy than if there's just one woman in the room.

unknown 36:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

So that's what I'm looking forward to. I'm really looking forward to making a bigger impact while also really honoring and maintaining my energetic boundaries for myself in my work.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

I love that. Yeah, because what's the point of like draining yourself and helping others? So let's talk about mama to mama. So, how is this for you in this new phase? My son just graduated his college degree and started full-time work on Monday. So I'm just a little, a little like, oh my God, what is happening? Life is lifeing, and the next stage is happening, and who am I now? Um, so how is that for you? Like, how are you how are you nurturing yourself through this phase?

SPEAKER_00 37:28

Totally. Yeah, I I have been nurturing myself by really leaning into my community. I really wanted to find a community of women who are who are like I could be friends with and not just like in the just like knowing. And so um I found my hiking group and that it nourishes me all today. I love going out in the woods, I love being with my ladies, and that really has been a portal to myself to go deeper. So that's how I'm nourishing myself is by doing things well new things. Okay, because I used to make fun of hikers, let's be honest. I'd be like, why would you want to go out in the woods all day? What is wrong with you? And don't like go for longer and more days. Um, so I I really find it um helpful to do something new, maybe something that you wouldn't have thought of, because it's I feel like mom has been a comfort zone for a really long time. And when that comfort zone starts to get stretched, I just find that they're gonna do new things. So why not we try new things too?

SPEAKER_01 38:51

Yeah. Yeah. I remember my son said to me years ago, I don't, I think he must have been like 14 or 15. He's like, Mom, you don't have any hobbies. I'm like, What? What do you mean? It's like, you know, like I don't really see you doing anything. I'm like, huh, okay, truth teller, like what the hell? Who did I create here? And I remember I was like, yeah, I go to the gym, I do Zumba, like, but it there was nothing that like I was obsessed with personally to just get better at, you know. And I did take a hard look at it then. I really did ask myself questions, like, what do I like to do? And I remember thinking just about new things, like, oh, do I want to craft? I want to, I don't want to do anything to that. I have to like I could never get into knitting. I think I did one scarf, which was I was very proud of. And I'm like, yeah, but you have to sit. Like, I don't want to sit and do a hobby. Like I love my little drawing. I do drawing, which is really fun, but it's not like I'm not gonna sit there for two hours. Maybe I mean I could, I could eventually, but anyway, I meant more physical, so I really did get into like dance, all kinds of dancing. And then I had my pickleball era, but now I'm like, I'm really into dance, like all kinds of dance. That's what I love to do. And um, so I told him, like, you know, I got a hobby now. I told them, like, back then I'm like, seriously, you're my hobby. Like, that's what I do. Like, thanks for noticing, but that's what I do. Like, are you well fed? You have a bed, you have resources, you like like that's what I do. Like, okay, that's my hobby. I was laughing, yeah, with my husband back then. I'm like, well, I sort of I was a little insulted at first, but I'm like, wait a minute, I think my son is my hobby. And then like, okay, maybe it's time to stretch my wings a little bit. Not that I didn't do things, you know, for myself. I did. Like, I was the self-care mentor. Like, I for sure took care of myself in many beautiful ways and hosted retreats and all kinds of things. But that to him, like, he didn't really see that. Like, he didn't get the work that I did. He was just like, you're just, I don't know, you do like those, those things over there. Like you just leave for a while and do some fun things and come back. Like to him, that wasn't sort of an enriching hobby, which it wasn't, it was my work, but it's really fascinating to see to see yourself through the lens of your your child.

SPEAKER_00 40:55

Totally. And and to the flip side of that too, I found what was really helpful for me was to like go back to who was I when I was a child and what did I really love to do as a child. So yes, calling in something new, but also going back to like who you were before you were even thought about being a mom, because that's that's that inner child play that can really ignite just your passions again. Because as you said, our children were our hobbies, they were our entire world. And so when that world starts to shift, it's it's discombobulating for sure.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

Yeah, yeah. And for me, it was always dance. And I and when that reignited and it reignited in stages for me, but it was definitely like, oh yeah, that I mean, I remember being little and choreographing my friends to like the right way to put a record on and just like choreograph the whole album. And so I was like, Oh, yeah, that's that's what I love to do. I'm like, and I was telling my trainer, who's also my dance, one of my amazing dance teachers. I'm like, you know, I'm the same exact like six-year-old. I still like to stand at the front of the room. I still like the teacher to tell me I did a good job. Like, if I just bring my leg warmers and my little purple leotard, the whole thing would be complete. Like it would just be me, my six-year-old dancing on the dance floor, because literally that's what I was. So yeah, I think I think that's such a great advice to, you know, we we know who we are when we're little. If we have, you know, a decent life and a decent home and things we can try, of course. Obviously, there's circumstances who don't let you that don't let you explore the playful side of your nature. But if you did have that in any, in any measure, we do know who we are and that early on. And to be able to come into like midlife and say, actually, there is that little part of me that still wants to whatever it is, draw or travel or you know, hike in the woods or like explore mushrooms. Like, I don't know, whatever, whatever you love to do. I mean, I'm sure there was like a version of us that love to just be outdoors in nature and do all those things that we sort of forget because it's not practical and logical. So I love that you're exploring that. And I have seen your hiking group. I'm like, oh, that looks so good. I can't add one more thing right now, but that's it looks so good and so like just yummy, and and to have a group of women that you're out in nature with and and do things with is such a beautiful, like soul-nourishing experience. And I do think whatever, whether it's hiking or a dance group or like whatever skills in between or interests, I think, yeah, doing those solo hobbies is really great too. But there is something so important. I wouldn't say powerful, we know it's powerful, but like important, and I would say even crucial to have a group of other women around us who are in this life phase that we can, you know, just like when you're a new mom or when you're like going through different phases. I remember that was like my lifeline. Like I moved here when my son was really tiny, baby, and I'm like, my first order of business is to find other moms. Like, I just went for it. I'm like, I don't care. I'm not shy, I'm doing it. Like I literally created community and those are the women who like it was just such a beautiful, you know, time to share those all the things, like all the weird things, all the am I doing it right things? All the did you have this thing happen? Like, what is happening? Like, what is this? And really that starts to happen again, right? Like when you're in midlife, like what is happening right now? Like, who am I now? Like, what's my body doing? Like, there's so many things that we keep private that we then build shame around, and it becomes this thing. And yeah, social media has its place in sort of giving us like you know, witness to other people experiencing things, but there's nothing like having a circle of people around you, or even just two or three other people who are, or one other person who are like, hey, let's go for a walk, like let's share what's happening, what's happening, and that really is such a beautiful thing. So any anything to share on that? Since I have one final question, because I know we can we can chat and chat.

SPEAKER_00 44:57

Well, yeah, I just think that um there's also this like uh energetic wave where women we used to meet in community that used to be how we lived and that's how we operated, and we've been so um pulled apart from each other. We are we've been told that to you know compete with each other, and the community aspect of gathering women has been so diminished, and when we do, it's incredibly powerful. And like you said, even if it's just one other person, that energy automatically amplifies. So getting yourself into a room with multiple women is magic, and I cannot express enough how much we need more of that.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

Yeah, I love that. So I'm definitely gonna put your um your links to your yoga, because that's a definitely one way to get there. Um, and the links to your services. But one final question since this is called an intuitive life, what does that mean to you to live an intuitive life? Does it mean anything to you? What does it mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 46:06

Oh, yeah, it means it definitely means a lot to me and is more the highest value. I place the highest value on it than I ever have now. And to me, that just means flow. It just means listening to that voice, no matter how illogical or crazy it sounds, and to just trust yourself to listen to that voice and to take action behind um what that voice is telling you to do. And um, I think it is so important to recalibrate and listen to that more than ever. So intuitive life to me is goals.

unknown 46:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:52

Well, it sounds like that's exactly what you did when you hit pause and turned off all of the intake of information and voices and decided to just be with yourself. And that's how you are able to tune into the what's next and what's true. And I think we sometimes forget the simplicity of that, you know. And actually, the last podcast episode was all about that like what happens when your intuition goes quiet and it goes quiet because everything else is louder. And if we can just turn all that down, and I think, you know, the best intended mentors who tell you you have to fit into one little box. And I get that marketing-wise, like historically, yes, you want to be known for one thing. But to be honest, like you don't know what that one thing is until you've tried a bunch of other things and you've tested and experimented and let yourself be authentically all of you. And then you get to see, oh, wait a minute, like that thing, they really like that thing, and I like that thing. That's a match. Because then you start to you move forward with that and start to let the other ones fade away. But but I think it's such a disservice. And I hope I've never done that with my clients and marketing or anything. Like, I really hope I don't think I've done, I've always had this idea of like, yeah, you're not just one thing. And I still, you know, coach clients like that in messaging, like, even though yes, we want a framework and yes, we want like a cool name, yeah, but like I don't think you're one thing. So let's just like move forward with trust of what it is that we like are enthusiastic about and feel good and and just try. And what are you a little scared of? And let ourselves try that, especially in this sort of midlife phase where we have been defined by so many labels that we ourselves and roles that we've had. And now that those roles are like a little the version of those roles are fading away, we get to, we get to have a blank slate, you know, even internally. And that can be a little scary. So I think what you did for yourself, which is like shut everything down, even for three days, like that's a big gift, even for like an afternoon. If you can just shut it all off, go for a walk, sit by the water, you can really, really find that. I remember once just this final little story when I was selling copiers way back when I had a phase where I was in sales and I was selling copiers, and we had this guy come in who was like um, you know, sales training is like a motivational training, which I didn't quite understand at that time yet, because it was just so early in my in my corporate career. And and he said, I don't remember anything else he said. I remember he said this one thing that stuck with me is like 30 years ago. And he's like, if you're trying to figure out like your answer for your what your soul wants to say, and I'm like, I'm like, what is this guy talking about? Like we're selling copiers, you know. He's like, but you what what motivates you? Like, why do you want to make money? And like, what is this all about? He's like, if you don't know, you're gonna have a really hard time connecting with any client's needs. Like it's just, it's just how it is. I'm like, okay, he's like, if you don't know, and this is thank God, pre-social media, like way pre-social media. He's like, go sit by the water, whether it's a lake or you know, whatever, an ocean. When I this is in California, it's like, go sit by the ocean, bring a little, you know, blank sheet of paper or a little journal. He's like, and sit down. He's like, and do not get up. You can sit there for four hours, but bring a drink. He's like, bring a snack, but like, do not get up until you've heard yourself, until you've heard something that feels different in your body, other than like your quotas and the you know, the whatever monthly nut you want to hit and any of your managers or what they're telling you, you're supposed to be thinking, but like really get in there and like and wait till you hear something else. And I remember feeling like, God, it sounds important. Like, I remember that sounds important. Like, if you can just go be, you know, and you can walk, whatever, but like, but there's something about like just letting yourself be in that space and just and and the fact that he identified that wait till you hear something different, like some a different voice, right? Which I I was very intuitive even then. But he's like, it's a beyond yourself, it's something bigger, like it's gonna like I don't think he did say like you're gonna hear God's voice essentially, but essentially something that you frame as as guidance for yourself. So I'm like, I still think about that all the time. So I tell my husband, I'm just gonna go sit by the water. I'll see you, I'll see you later. I need to I need to just stop everything and go sit by the water. And that's what I do. These days, these days I do it at Chrysalis, buy myself some lunch and just stare at the water. I'm like, what do I think? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 51:10

Yeah, no, that's that was really great advice because it's so true. Like, you have to know your why no matter what you're doing. Why are you doing it? Otherwise, you're not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

Totally. So, what's your why? I guess I had one more question. What is your put you on the spot here? What is your why?

SPEAKER_00 51:27

My why. My why is really again, why did I go through all of these things in my life? There has to be a reason. And my why is so that other people don't feel alone in going through what life hands them because it doesn't matter who you are, you're gonna be handed life. And without the community, it is so isolating. And I just feel like my why is to build the community so that people don't feel lonely.

SPEAKER_01 52:07

I love that so much, and I can see that for you so much. You're just such a like a beacon of, you know, not just positive energy, like I get it, you're like positive, fine, that's fine. But there's something much deeper, like a well to pull from. Um, so I'm I'm so happy for you. Thank you so much for sharing and for going with all the impromptu like sidetrack questions, because that's where we sort of, you know, like, oh yeah, I do have thoughts on that and I do have ideas on that. And I know you, I know you would. So thank you so much for everything that you've tried. Because I think as much as it's delighted me and reminded me as well, like I could just try stuff, you know, in those moments where I'm like, I need to just figure out the next thing. Wait a minute, just take a breath. Like, you don't need to figure it out. Just like what seems interesting to try. And so I hope that you really received that, even though for you it felt disorganized and chaotic or messy or whatever it was, that doing things like that and showing, showing that you're doing things like that is such an inspiration to those around you. So I really see that in you. And I know it like it feels very different on the inside sometimes, but it was really a beautiful, powerful thing to see you like just delight in doing different things. And we don't know what you're like, the outside world doesn't know exactly what it all is, but what they do see is a beautiful person like trying something new and making an offering and sharing the vulnerability of it too. So I thank you for for sharing all that. And I hope you continue to as your work continues to grow and evolve and you keep landing on these powerful moments of community and sharing. And I I know you're going to because you're you're doing it, like you're doing it. You're you're throwing that spaghetti. So keep throwing it. And until it becomes this beautiful like mural of whoa, and you step back and you're like, oh, that's what I created. Because now you'll have so much context. And maybe it wasn't spaghetti all along, maybe it was just beautiful paint, and you just created this beautiful picture for everyone to see.

SPEAKER_00 54:09

So yeah. Thank you, Elena. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 54:13

You're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you so much for being here and everyone, thank you for listening. Please share any comments. Click on the little blue heart in the Apple Podcast to share any notes and any appreciation. And there's all the links in the bottom of the show notes where you can find Jessica, her work. If you happen to be lucky enough to be local, you can go to her goddess flow, which I am I'm trying to make it to one of those for sure, as soon as it fits my schedule and any of the other amazing services that Jessica offers. So thank you, thank you, everyone, and thank you, Jessica.

SPEAKER_00 54:41

Thank you all.