How to Fundraise as a Board Member Without Burning Out

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters More Than Fundraising Experience

Serving on a nonprofit board can be one of the most meaningful ways to give back—but it can also become one of the fastest paths to burnout if you're carrying too much responsibility without enough support.

In this episode of The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser, Erin McQuade-Wright explores what effective board fundraising really looks like, why asking for money isn't the only way to advance your organization's mission, and how emotional intelligence can help you become a more confident and sustainable volunteer leader.

Whether you're brand new to board service or you've been volunteering for years, this conversation will help you approach fundraising with greater clarity, healthier boundaries, and a mindset that allows you to serve without sacrificing yourself.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why relationship-building is more powerful than simply asking for donations.
• How a culture of philanthropy strengthens fundraising across an entire organization.
• Practical ways new board members can begin fundraising with confidence.
• Why nonprofit organizations have a responsibility to support—not just expect—their volunteer fundraisers.
• How emotional intelligence helps you recognize your limits before burnout and resentment take over.

If you've ever wondered whether you're doing enough as a board member—or felt like you're carrying more than your share of the load—this episode is for you.

Enjoying the podcast?

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share it with a fellow board member, volunteer, or nonprofit leader who could use a little encouragement.

Want more practical tools for leading with courage, clarity, and emotional resilience?

Sign up for The Brave & Balanced Note, my free newsletter, where I share reflections, coaching insights, and practical strategies to help you lead from alignment instead of anxiety.

Join here: https://brave-balanced-note.kit.com/profile?_gl=1*qniw91*_gcl_au*MjEwODgyNzI0OS4xNzc1NzY5ODE1

Book your 1:1 Brave and Balanced Breakthrough Coaching Session here: https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough

✨ Stay Connected & Continue Your Fundraising Growth

Listen to all episodes + subscribe:
https://thebraveandbalancedfundraiser.buzzsprout.com

Join the community:
The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser Facebook Group
👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/braveandbalancedfundraiser

Book a Brave & Balanced Breakthrough Call:
A personalized 1:1 session to support your inner clarity and fundraising wellbeing.
👉 https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough

Learn more about Erin’s coaching & nervous-system based support:
VitalistCoaching.com

Connect on Instagram:
@erinmcquadewright

Transcript

Erin McQuade-Wright 1:33

Welcome to The Brave and Balanced Fundraiser, the podcast I wish I'd had during my 15 years as a professional fundraiser. I'm your host, Erin McQuade Wright. This is your space to breathe, realign, and reconnect with the part of you that chose this work for a reason. Together, we'll explore tools and practices that help you show up less stressed and spread thin and more grounded, brave, and on purpose. I'm so glad you're here. Let's get started. This is for my volunteers who've reached out to me and said, "I'm a board member, so I'm fundraising in that context. Is there anything that you have that could support me in doing that?" This episode is for you. We're gonna talk about the internal setting that you should be on as a board member, and your ability to key into what's going on inside of you is a really important asset to keep yourself from being burned out, and what kind of work fundraising is as a board member, how you can go about doing it if you're new. We're gonna talk about all that today and unpack it together, so I'm really glad you're here. I had a family member reach out to me the other day and say, "I just got asked to be on this board, and I'm trying to learn the lay of the land. Can we have a conversation?" And I was like, "Sure." And I asked some questions when we talked. I got some details. One of the things that I always like to know when somebody's thinking about stepping into a role is what does their fundraising already look like? sometimes there is a power player who can pick up the phone and ask their contacts who have means, and the money just flows in And they'll hire development staff and look at them like, "Why aren't you raising money? I'm over here raising the money, and I'm not even the development person." What they might not even realize is that this sort of back channel or maybe old-fashioned fundraising of I'm just gonna call up John and see if he can make a gift, is really at odds with what we're seeing more now, which is a culture of philanthropy across the organization. The person answering the phone at the front desk understands they play a role in a d- donor's decision to give to the organization. And so just like leadership exists at all levels, right? You don't have to have a C-suite title to be a leader. That's a cultural decision. For organizations that believe that you're a leader at all levels, that culture wants you to step into a leadership role and act like a leader and say, "Okay, I'm gonna hold myself like someone who is consequential for this mission because I am, and therefore that affects how I answer the door. It affects how I answer the phone. It affects how I dress. It affects how I hold myself, how I interact with my colleagues because I know I'm a leader despite whatever my title is." We're seeing more of a desire to have a culture of philanthropy across some organizations And so this family member that I was talking to was just asked to join a board that did not have a culture of philanthropy. They had a fairly well-established organization, but as far as I could tell from the one conversation that we had, their idea of fundraising was pretty much events-based. And oof, if that's you, I feel you. I know that that is a thing that sometimes volunteers, board members get excited about. Let's have a party. Let's have an event. Let's invite all our friends. It'll be glitzy, it'll be glamorous. We'll make it the place to be. And, you know, sure, that's a fine thing to do, and people love to turn out for a good cause. But if that is your only fundraising strategy, you're in trouble. So I asked this family member, I was like, "Okay, so what would you be-- what would your responsibility be as a board member?" And they really only talked about this one event. That was all of their fundraising, again, as I recall. But they were being asked to raise sponsorships, and they knew some people who could sponsor, but they were like, "How do I do this? Like, how do I go about this? I'm new to this organization. Do I just dive right in with this ambitious ask?" And the other unique kind of, uh, obstacle for this situation is that the executive director had a very inflated idea of what the sponsorship level should be. This was a, an organization that at least hadn't had a lot of events. They were new to the event scene, if they weren't a new organization altogether. But what they were asking for sponsorship levels was on par with very established events around them. So not knowing the market, the going rate for a sponsorship, was something that was a, a blind spot for them, in my opinion. But what I told my family member is, going back to the old fundraising adage: "if you ask for money, you will get advice, and if you ask for advice, you will get money." And I said, "You're in a really unique position as a person who's coming onto this board and hasn't been here before, hasn't necessarily cultivated relationships on behalf of this organization. You're in a unique position to say, 'Hey, potential sponsor, I am new to this organization, and I just wanted to get your advice about who it is that I should be talking to at your organization about the possibility of your organization, uh, sponsoring this event.'" So it's a very innocent, clean place to come from, right? "I just need your advice. Point me in the right direction of the person." And I realize that there are some people in this community who have shared with me that they are looking at fundraising coming from a completely different angle, which is, "I signed up to be a volunteer and I'm not really sure how to do it. Do I just go around asking people for money or do I have a strategy about it?" And they're not always finding that the organizations they work with, the organizations that they serve on the board of, are equipped to help them with fundraising best practices to know how to go about it. One of the things I remember about being a frontline fundraiser is supplying my volunteers with talking points, with sample emails, with lists of prospects that they were close to or had ag- re- had agreed to reach out to. That level of coordination is really ideal when you've got staff and volunteers working together. But this dear family member of mine was doing it herself. There wasn't really support, coordinated support from the nonprofit, so she was literally reaching into her contact list and saying, "Oh, I know that person who works there, and I know that person who works there." She talked about the moment where they were sitting around the board table and the staff member for the organization was saying, "We'd like to go to this organization. Does anyone know anyone there?" And my family member raised her hand. And then they said, "And we'd like this organization. Does anyone know anyone who works there?" And the same person raised their hand. And it's like over and over again, it becomes clear that the newest board member at the table has some great potential to be fundraising and to be really effective at it because there are relationships that are already established. The question I naturally ask is what is the bandwidth of that board member? What is that board member's bandwidth? Because The Pareto rule is 80% of the work will be done by 20% of the people in any group, including board members, including organizations. 80% of the work will be done by 20% of the people. It's the 80/20 rule But if you have ever been part of that 20%, you know that that can get old really fast. When you are looking around at your fellow board members, you're looking around that table knowing that you are one of or the workhorse on that board And I'm really interested not only in what the board member's productivity can be here and now, but I'm really interested in what that board member's longevity is like in the nonprofit sector. Are they gonna be going gangbusters and burning out five years in, two years in, and they don't serve on boards anymore? Or is there a way we can bring our volunteers along where they feel like they're really able to deliver for the mission, and we're not burning them out by expecting too much of them? And in my opinion, this scenario that my family member was describing is asking too much of them If there's one person who has all the connections, is excited to, uh, to do all the outreach, that's not gonna end well. And I do think it's on the organization to provide support for that, for that board member, to provide support for not only their staff, but their volunteers in their fundraising. That's what I wanna see more of, for us to have a thoughtful conversation about how we can support not only our paid fundraisers, but our volunteer fundraisers as well, so that they can do the work in a smart way rather than in a hard way that allows them to sustain as board members. And maybe they don't sustain on the same organization for years and decades, but that they can be serving as board members in their community, rolling on and rolling off boards, but they're able to keep going. They don't have to have this reactionary sort of cringe that I see too many board members having when they say, "Oh, boards," and they roll their eyes because they have this feeling of being in a, in a tank with, with piranhas, of people just taking and taking and taking and taking their time, their connections, their desire to do good, and they feel bled dry. A board member that feels bled dry is not an effective board member to have. So I'm actually not advocating for coddling our board members. I'm not advocating for them, you know, limiting their effectiveness within an organization. I am in favor of everyone being able to understand when they've hit a wall and they're not able to do more, and then communicating that rather than going passive-aggressive and complaining about all the boards they serve on and how it's not, how they're being drained. That's not helpful. Take care of yourself and say when your body tells you you need to stop, "Stop." Have faith in the people around you to be able to handle that So I really, just like I want fundraisers to be able to sustain themselves by first listening in to what's happening inside because nobody else is gonna do that for them, right? You're g- you gotta do that for yourself. I want the same from board members. It might sound like a, like I'm asking too much, but I really want people to be able to regulate their own needs rather than being resentful and lashing out when other people don't anticipate their needs. I hope this conversation has been helpful for all my board members out there who are wanting to do a really great job and needing a little support along the way. I applaud you for serving your community, and I think that's a really important thing to do. So thank you for doing that. I applaud you for serving your community and for looking for ways that you can help.

16:16

All right, here are your key takeaways from this episode. Number one, fundraising is a relationship-building process, not just asking for donations. Sometimes asking for advice is the most effective step toward future support. Number two, a culture of philanthropy is everyone's responsibility. Great fundraising organizations engage staff, volunteers, and board members, not just the development office. Number three, board members need support, not just expectations. Clear strategy, talking points, and coaching help volunteers succeed instead of feeling overwhelmed. Number four, pay attention to your internal signals. Emotional intelligence means recognizing when you've reached your capacity before resentment and burnout take over. And number five, the best board members aren't the ones who sacrifice themselves for the mission. They're the ones who learn how to serve generously without abandoning themselves. Thanks for being here. We'll see you next time