Thank a Mentor: The Power of Showing Up

Who showed up for you when they didn’t have to? We dive into what real mentorship looks like, why it’s essential—not optional—for young people, and how to close the access gap that leaves many boys of color without consistent guidance. Drawing from research and lived experience, we unpack the difference between lecturing and translating life, and why presence beats perfection every time.

We get specific about the mentor gap: nearly one in three young people in the U.S. lack a mentor outside their family, and the deficit hits Black and Latino youth hardest. We talk through what mentors actually do—listen more than talk, tell the truth with compassion, model emotional regulation, and set healthy boundaries. Then we offer five practical anchors for new mentors: lead with presence, learn before you lead, don’t rush outcomes, affirm effort over achievement, and know when to refer. These aren’t theories; they’re habits that build trust and protect both mentor and mentee.

You’ll also hear personal stories that bring the principles to life—from entrepreneurship programs and mini-bikes to outdoor adventures and spiritual formation—showing how a steady adult expands a young person’s map of possibility. We spotlight on-ramps like Big Brothers Big Sisters, My Brother’s Keeper, Boys & Girls Clubs, the YMCA, and local faith or school-based groups so you can plug in with confidence.

If someone poured into you, say thank you today. Then pay it forward by becoming the mentor you once needed. Subscribe, share this episode with a friend who’d make a great mentor, and leave a review with your “so what” takeaway—we’d love to hear what lesson from a mentor stuck with you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

It's the roll sweet transformation purpose.

Why Mentorship Is Necessary

SPEAKER_03 0:53

Welcome to the Bro Talk Podcast, where we keep it real about life, leadership, and responsibility. I'm Brian Williams. And I'm Jermaine Alberty, Two Brothers, Two Cities, One Mission, Real Men, Real Talk, Real Transformation. Today's episode is intentional. January 28th is Thankor Mentor Day. And we want to slow down the conversation and ask one simple question. Who showed up for you when they didn't have to? When you think about it, none of us got here by ourselves and we did not make it alone.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

And let's be clear: mentorship isn't just a nice thing, it is a necessary thing, especially for young people navigating pressures, poverty, violence, and uncertainty. Let's talk facts for a moment. Nearly one in three young people in the U.S. grow up without a mentor outside their immediate family. And youth mentors are 55% more likely to enroll in college, and 78% are more likely to volunteer, and significantly less likely to engage in risky behavior.

The Unequal Mentorship Gap

SPEAKER_03 2:13

Those are some interesting stats, Jermaine. But here's the gap that doesn't get enough attention. Mentorship access is not evenly distributed. When you think about it, black and Latino youth are less likely to have a consistent mentor. Boys of color in particular experience a mentor deficit, especially after middle school. And many young men report that they've never had an adult male consistently speak life, direction, and accountability into them.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

And that what's interesting about that gap, uh, Brian, is simply when mentorship is absent, other things rush in. The streets, social media, hustle culture, misinformation, and survival thinking. And so when we think about mentorship, it's not just about control, it's about covering ground that a young person cannot cover by themselves.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

For minority youth, mentorship isn't just guidance, it's protection. It helps answer questions like who am I allowed to become? What does success look like for someone who looks like me? And how do I navigate systems that weren't built with me in mind?

What Mentors Actually Do

SPEAKER_02 3:30

You know, mentors translate life. They help young people read the room, read contracts, read emotions, and even read consequences. And here's the truth many young people don't need another lecture. What they need is for someone to be consistent in their lives, and that consistency is extremely important.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

Consistency builds trust. Trust opens ears, and ears open lives.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

And you know, I I want to clear up something, and that is mentor is not numerous things. One, it's not trying to fix someone, two, it's not living vicariously through the young person, three, it's not being perfect, and four, it is not having all the answers.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

And Jermaine, thanks for giving us those non-examples of what mentorship is not. Uh, I want to just unpack what mentorship is. And so mentorship is showing up on time and being present. It's about listening more than talking. And you know, we've all been taught that we have uh two ears, two eyes, and one mouth. And so that listening aspect is important. It's telling the truth with compassion and with sensitivity, it's modeling emotional regulation, it's holding boundaries and setting those parameters and those limits that young people need. And it's staying even when it gets inconvenient.

Five Anchors For New Mentors

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Well, you know, sometimes mentoring looks like teaching, and then sometimes it looks like silence. Silence is so golden because sometimes it looks like saying something like, I don't know, but let's figure it out together.

SPEAKER_03 5:36

So, Jermaine, if someone's listening right now and they're thinking or contemplating, I want to serve as a mentor, but I don't know how and I don't know where to start. Here are five anchors that we want to present to our listening audience. Number one, start with presence and not tangible gifts, but your physical presence. And that deals with just being reliable because missed moments break trust faster than mistakes. Number two, learn before you lead. Understand the world that young people are navigating, and our young people are dealing with school pressure, stress, social media, mental health, and identity issues. Number three, don't rush the outcomes. Mentorship is relational, not transactional. Number four, affirm effort, not just achievement. And that ensures that we celebrate growth and not perfection. And then finally, number five, know when to refer. You are a mentor, not a therapist, not a parent, and not a savior.

Where To Find Mentoring Programs

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Right, I tell you, what's so important for people to understand is that mentorship done right multiplies capacity, doesn't replace the parents, but what it does is it reinforces the possibility for young people. And so if you want to structure ways to engage, there are organizations leading the way. Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America is an organization that Brian has volunteered for. And that organization provides one-to-one mentoring with proven long-term outcomes. There's also my Brothers Keeper Alliance, which focuses on boys and young men of color. And then another entity that Brian, you were part of growing up, and so was I, was the Boys and Girls Club. The Boys and Girls Club of America offers safe spaces and mentoring through community programming. And so I'm really excited about the fact that you and I both got our uh mentorship for these organizations.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

And of course, we can't forget the YMCA. And that's where I was exposed to a lot of positive adult mentors. And we don't want our listening audience to overlook faith communities, schools, and grassroot organizations. Sometimes the most impactful mentor is already in the room.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

So, Brian, when you think about a mentor that influenced you, shaped you, who comes to mind?

SPEAKER_03 8:25

I've thought a lot about uh several positive adult male role models in my life who really made deposits into me just with their time, with their resources, with their talents, and with their treasure. And there's one individual that emerges and comes to mind, and that's my Kansas City pastor, uh Pastor Eric D. Williams. And I actually met Eric prior to me knowing that he was uh a pastor and involved in ministry. He was actually the program director for uh the local YMCA that I attended. And when I got to know Eric, and Eric got to know me, I was probably 11 or 12, and I was involved in several youth programs that Eric was responsible for. And so just a couple of those programs that come to mind. There was uh an entrepreneurial program that he exposed me and several other young men to that was called Adopt a Tree Program. And that was really a program that provided us with entrepreneurial and business skills to really reach out to individuals and community organizations who could invest in adopting trees in a local cemetery that was a historical cemetery, and it allowed us to learn marketing skills, business skills. And so that was one of the programs that I was exposed to. A second program, as you know, and several of our listening audience knows that I ride a motorcycle, a Kawasaki Ninja. And one of the programs that Eric exposed me to was a program called NIMPum, and that was called the National Youth Project Using Mini Bikes. And what that program did is that it exposed positive African-American men who were motorcycle riders, Harley riders, and they paired them with adolescent, young African-American males, and they really taught us how to ride mopeds or mini-bikes. And so they taught us how to ride them safely, how to care for them. And what we would do in the local community is we would ride those minibikes and mopeds around the city in a safe environment. We would actually ride them in parades. And so my love for riding a motorcycle, even as an adult male, stemmed from that program. And then a final uh program I remember Eric exposed me to. As you know, I'm an avid kayaker. And so my love for kayaking stemmed from Eric taking several of our young men involved in those programs to outdoor adventure experiences such as camping or rappelling and canoeing. And so my love for the outdoors really stemmed from Eric's exposure with me and other young men, and just, you know, raising our level of expectation around those activities that we would not otherwise have an opportunity to enjoy. So Eric has been a very instrumental mentor in my life. And in 1987, I still remember the year to this day, Eric left the YMCA. He left his full-time job, and I didn't understand at the time, but he left his full-time job to become a full-time pastor. And several years had passed once he had left that organization, and uh he was pastoring full-time. And I later reconnected with him when I was a senior in high school, became a member of his church, and he really mentored me in the faith and gave me an opportunity to serve as a youth minister at the church where where he pastored. And he poured into me, invested into me, and helped me to mature into the faith, and just gave me tremendous responsibility to help lead the youth in our church in youth ministry. And so I want to thank him today for investing in me and mentoring me and pouring into my life to help me become the man that I am today. And so that's somebody that comes to mind. And so, Jermaine, I asked you the same question. When you think about a mentor that has made an impact on your life, who comes to mind for you?

SPEAKER_02 12:41

Well, you know, when I think about this, uh, it's plural because there are so many people who made impact. But as a young person, I was involved in a community choir called SCLC, uh, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, community choir. And so in that choir, there were so many adults that volunteered and supported us and was there and was present for us in that choir. And so singing was something that I love to do and be part of. And it's amazing that two of the mentors that I think about are both musicians. One, my godfather, uh Richard Short, uh, my late godfather. And growing up, Richard was one of the baddest organists in Kansas, Missouri. But I tell you, as a youngster, when I would be picked on, I would go to him and be upset. And he gave me one piece of advice that has stuck with me for my whole life, and that was that I did not need to guild a lily because a lily is beautiful all by itself. And it gave me an opportunity to be able to know that I was more than enough, and I didn't need to change myself for anybody. And so I most definitely want to honor uh Richard Short and that lesson and Minnie Mortier taught me. But another mentor who was a musician and also happened to be my pastor is Dr. Wallace Hartsfield. Dr. Wallace S. Hartsfield of the Second. And I consider him my spiritual father in my theological reformation. I had come to Metropolitan around 2009, and uh Pastor Hartsfield was pivotal in shaping my theology. And one thing that he taught us was that we ought to be in right relationship with God and with each other. And I think that has become so pivotal in my salt initiative movement because it's all about serving people and being in right relationship with people. And so uh Dr. Wallace Hartsfield, not only by what he said, but how he moved and how he lived, really shaped my theological reformation. And so I want to thank him for um doing that even when he didn't know he was doing it. So the last thing Pastor Hartsfield taught me as a preacher is you haven't preached until you answer the question, so what? And I promise you, I've taken that model and used that not only in preaching and in teaching, but in everything I do. If the answer so what is not answered, then you're doing a good job doing it. So I want to thank my godfather, Richard Short, and thank my pastor Wallace S. Harts for the second.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

And so, Jermaine, uh, that's some great insight that you share. So I ask you, because of the purpose of this podcast, what is the so what that we're challenging our listeners today?

SPEAKER_02 16:08

I would say the so what is this is once again paying it forward. So if somebody mentored you, pay it forward and mentor someone else. Because no one is an island unto themselves. So that's a so what? It is pay it forward, mentor someone else, but also it is for those who mentor you, hey, tell them thank you. So before we close, I think it's so important that we honor those people on this day. So if you have a mentor, call them, text them, write them, just say thank you because someone poured it to you without knowing how the story would turn out.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

That's great advice. And if you didn't have a mentor, maybe the so what is that this is your invitation to be that mentor for some young person. Be what you needed.

Closing And Call To Action

SPEAKER_02 17:06

So think a mentor, become a mentor, and change a life. Brian, take us home.

SPEAKER_03 17:15

This is the Bro Talk Podcast, real men, real talk, and real transformation.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

It's the Bro Talk Podcast with a real mechanic.