EP8: Escaping the Cycle: Trevor Cowley's Journey

Overcoming Adversity: Trevor Cowley's Journey from Addiction to Breaking Records

In this episode of the Irene Podcast, Trevor shares his story of growing up in a poor and challenging environment in St. George, Utah. Trevor discusses the statistics of growing up in such conditions and how he became a part of those statistics by engaging in substance abuse and reckless behavior from a young age. He speaks candidly about his downward spiral into addiction, including a harrowing stint with heroin, and his journey to hit rock bottom. Trevor then highlights his turning point, with the support of his mother, leading to a profound transformation involving rigorous self-discipline and the pursuit of physical and mental challenges. From battling addiction to becoming a successful business owner and now on the verge of breaking a world record for consecutive half marathons, Trevor's story illustrates the power of self-awareness, commitment, and resilience in overcoming life's toughest obstacles. He emphasizes the importance of creating positive environments and continuously challenging oneself to achieve personal growth and success.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:13 Trevor's Early Life and Environment
01:29 Struggles with Addiction
15:35 Hitting Rock Bottom
18:28 The Turning Point
23:10 Rebuilding and New Challenges
24:21 The Power of Self-Awareness
26:58 Commitment to Change
28:40 Embracing Hardships
36:55 Embracing Challenges and Growth
37:40 From Addiction to Business Success
38:19 Midlife Crisis and Self-Reflection
41:19 The Decision to Run 37 Miles
43:02 Training and Accountability
49:35 The Journey of 75 Hard
52:03 Pushing Limits and Setting Records
56:29 Overcoming Adversity and Personal Growth
01:07:11 Final Thoughts and Inspirations

Trevor Cowley - https://www.instagram.com/realbusinessowners?igsh=cTFhYmFxZXNzMnFi

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Transcript

Welcome to the Irene Podcast. Today we have with us Trevor Callie, and he's gonna tell us a little bit about his story.

I was not prepared for the amount of mental shift it was gonna take. I was looking for a physical change. Yeah. But I showed myself that by doing the hard thing every single day, day after day after day. 'cause I actually did it for like 105 days straight. Because I did 75 harder than I did the, the next month.

And it, I get emotional 'cause it changed my life. It changed how I thought about everything. It changed my physical body, but that was just like a minor detail. Yeah. What it did to my brain. Is it? Yeah. It showed me, I learned from myself to making a commitment and sticking to that commitment. Yeah. That if I do the hard things day after day after day after day.

Those things become easy. And then the next thing that I wanna do that's hard, doesn't feel so hard because I've already proven to myself that I can do hard things. Yeah. And so now I'm able to do things way outside my comfort zone without batty an eye, because I know that at the end I'm gonna feel a thousand times better and I'm gonna get a hundred feet closer to my goal.

Oh yeah. So every little thing that's hard and I push through, it's just another story in my head telling myself I love that, that I can do anything. Yeah. I can do. Anything I put my mind to. Yeah. Because at 50 pounds heavier, I still worked out every single day, twice a day, one time outside when it's burning hot here in George or when it's ice cold, 30 degrees.

Yeah, it didn't matter. Yeah, I did it. I kept doing it and I kept showing up for myself and I proved to myself that I'm capable be beyond what I thought I was capable of. Well, what that also showed you is regardless of anything going on external, you could still show up in the manner in which you committed to, if it's rainy, if it's cold, if it's hot.

Like there are always things that are unforeseen or outside of our control that will again, appear negative, on the surface. Like I remember, man, it's gonna be raining tomorrow, I have to run in the rain, da da, all this stuff. And it's like, well, if it's gonna rain tomorrow, anyways. Like, why are you being negative about it?

Because you're only making what you have to do anyways, even harder than it needs to be by creating this thought and this anxiety and, and, and that it's a problem rather than just succumbing to it and just do the doing rather than think about the doing. Yep. And so it's like nowadays it's like.

I, I look forward to the rainy days because at least it gives me a curve ball. Yeah, it's something different and it's like, running every day doing the same thing over and over, like. Now I, I, I, I get excited for snowstorms or I get excited for rainstorms because it's, it's an opportunity for me to overcome something else, right?

Because I can, I can run regular weather, whatever, like, none of that's Give me friction. Give me, yeah, give me hard, like pour it. Throw in the, like I was running the other morning and it was 24 degrees and me and a couple buddies were just running and we were just laughing and stuff and it's like, isn't it so funny that like we now hype each other up?

The worst the situation gets where we actually get excited about overcoming it because we have so much data on overcoming what appears to be. Bad or negative situations that they weren't bad or negative, they were opportunities to grow and get better. Mm, yes. So the, now, now that we have that data, it's like, dude, it's gonna rain on Friday.

Let's, let's get it in. And so it's like, let's put our, and then, it just sucks for five minutes as you're getting wet. But once you're wet, you're wet. Yeah. And it's just like you're just, you, you, you, and you hit that stride, you hit that groove, you stop making it a friction point and you surrender.

Yeah. To it, and you just do what you need to do, and yeah, I, I, I, I I dedicated, after I got clean and, and had my child, I dedicated the, the next 12, 13 years to getting rich and building businesses because I was going to have a family. And I grew up really poor, and that's unacceptable.

It's not a standard that I'm willing to, to raise my kids in. And, and so I went. Just like anything I do, whether it's heroin or running, I went all in. I went all in on business. And after 11, 12 years, I became a millionaire. A year or two later, multimillions. And I got to a point, I was 36 years old.

It was June. My birthday's in July and I was 36 years old. Call it a midlife crisis or whatever. I, I'm a big believer that a lot of people have midlife crisis in their mid to late thirties. 'cause it's kind of like, well, you're not in your twenties anymore. You're almost, you still kind feel like a kid, and it's like, I, I think I should really now take adulting seriously. W what happens when people have midlife crisis? Again, enter a distraction, drugs, alcohol, pornography the sports car, the motorcycle, whatever it is that you, you could purchase externally or get. Without really having to do the internal work.

Yeah. Get that dopamine hit. Yeah. Like porn, dopamine hit. You can take the hit of drugs, take the hit of alcohol, buy the motorcycle when you're on it, all of it. All of it feels cool, but all, again, it's all unearned stuff. You're not really changing your, distracting yourself from the person that you don't like anymore, which is who you are.

That's why it's a midlife crisis, because your life is saying. The person that got you here is no longer like, acceptable if you want to keep going. Or you can just settle in and have this just be your life. And, and most people at that point, again, they find, I know many people that I went to high school with while I was partying, using drugs, and they were.

Saying things behind my back, all goody goody, I, I got it all outta my system and now I'm 41 and I see, the missionaries and this that came back, that hit their midlife crisis that are starting to dabble in alcohol and drugs and find these things that I found a long time ago.

And they're finding it later in life. And so I'm so blessed that I, that I blew it out at such a young You got it outta your system. Got it outta my system. Yeah. I'm watching people go through their midlife crisis at 41 years old, in proximity from a distance. I don't really kick it or hang out with too many people because again, I'm a big believer in curating environments that are in alignment with what I'm trying to do with my life. But it's just really, really sad. And so at that point, at 36, I'm like, man, I'm, I've just made good money. I finally accomplished everything that I thought would make me happy. But I still feel like that there's just, there's something missing.

Like, what's next for you? Yeah. I was at a, an extremely low point, and, and so I was like, man, I knew I, I can go buy the sports car, but I hate, I, like, I live debt free. I'm a penny pincher to the, like even in the, in the in, in my old neighborhood that I was in, I mean I bought that house for like 250,000 and there was a year, I made like 1.6 million while I was just sitting in a house that was like a $1,300 a month mortgage because I'm such a penny pincher.

I just love stacking cash. I like my bank account to go in one direction and and that's up. Unless it's an investment that has the ability to. Make me more cash than, than I'll part ways with some of it, but I was just temporarily. Yeah, yeah. Bring back homies, please. Lots of them. So I was at this low spot, I'm like, okay, now what?

I don't wanna spend money 'cause I'm a cheap skate. And I said, man, I really need to do something that the old version of me would never do. And I said, what do I hate doing? Ready, running came to mind instantly, I think. I think everybody can relate to that. They're like running. No thanks. Actually I grew up running with my mom and I love to run, and right now, since I moved here, I have asthma and some other stuff that makes it hard.

Yeah. So I just turned to lifting weights. Yeah, I mean that's, that's, that was my new heart. I was already lifting weights and stuff, so it was just like I just needed something new. And so I was like, okay, well I'm not a runner. That's a, weird one. What would I do run like 3.7 miles for my 37th birthday or whatever.

I'm like, dude, that's too dumb. Like that's, it's not a challenge. I'm not gonna change who I am, in three miles. In three miles. It's not gonna gimme the friction that I was really looking for, the suffering that I needed to, to. Anytime that I've suffered the most, it forces me to look inward.

Yeah, it gives that mentorship, it forces me to have that conversation with myself as well, to be my biggest hype man. To, to be my biggest cheerleader, right? Like we have two sides of our mind, the heckler and the cheerleader. Too often we give an ear to the heckler. And I wanted to put myself in a situation where I would suffer and it, and I would have to communicate with myself in a positive way on why this is a good thing and why you should continue to go down a path that feels very uncomfortable.

So I was like, 37 miles. I'm like, dude, there's no way. I have 39 days before my 37th birthday. Like there's, I just, I'm not a runner. I can't go from zero to 37 miles. And I was like, you know what? Screw it. I walked into a room at my office where there was employees, opened the door and said, I'm running 37 miles on my 37th birthday.

I've had people look around like, what you, yeah. But now that you said it out loud you've told yourself. I don't wanna look like a fool to everybody and myself. So I'm doing this, I, I speak it into existence and create accountability because I'm a big believer of honoring your word and that you're only as good as your word.

And if you say you're going to do something, unless you, unless you don't have a pulse anymore, you better figure out a way to follow through with what you said. So I heard a few chuckles, this, that, the other, I'm like, cool. That's all I needed. Just a couple doubters. Yeah, thank you, Sean. Yeah, that has been, he trained for a marathon for two years.

Something messed up in his Achilles in 2019, and then in 2020 COVID hit. So he was trained, he couldn't do it, and I told him, I said, you're an idiot. You can walk out your front door and get 26.2 anywhere. You're just waiting for somebody else to throw an event to do it. Like, why are you waiting to do something that you've wanted to do?

Like, I don't care if COVID happened, you could still go run a marathon. You can sit, you can run a marathon. If you're trained to run a marathon, go do what you said that you were gonna do. Yeah. You don't need somebody else to throw an event. You don't need a start and finish line. You just go create your own environment.

Don't lean on somebody else's, like, oh, they, they're putting it on, so since it's canceled, I can't do it. It's like, no, that's not true again. That's a limitation in which he has that is gonna force him to operate less than what he's capable of or what his potential is because he's looking external.

There's issues or problems, it appears that he can't do it, when in reality if he looked inward, he could still do what he set out to do without having somebody else's support or help like an at an event. And, so he chuckled 'cause he knows how difficult it is because he is been training. Yeah. And I said, it's all good, bro.

We'll see. I went home that day and ran three miles and was like, oh. Times. Wow. Almost, almost 12. I don't know, what did I, what did I commit to today? But I, I went in that room to say it out loud, because I think that we're all given downloads. I don't even really want to call it a thought. I think some things are downloads from God.

Oh, absolutely. And it, and it just came out of nowhere, like 37 miles. Like where did that come from? Like, I would never, that's not me. And i, I, I, now, I, I, now, I now scratch that curiosity itch. Yeah. When I have these weird downloads that seem that most people would just stamp, label it crazy. No way.

But if I would've went to bed that night and didn't say that to other people and just thought about it, it wouldn't have happened. I had to go speak it into existence, create accountability for myself or else. That thought would come and go, or that download would come and go and I would be the same person the next day and maybe wake up.

Man, that was a crazy thought. I think that's a Glad I didn't commit to that. I think that's a fun way to play with your ego too. Yeah. Because like we all have ego. And we need to keep ourselves in check sometimes. Oh, yeah. But sometimes it's good to use that ego Oh yeah. To reach those goals. Like, I agree.

I don't, I said this, so I'm gonna do it because I'm not gonna look like a fool to all these people that doubt me. I'm gonna prove them wrong. Well, that's, again, self-awareness. Yeah. Knowing yourself, I, I, I can't go out. 10 o'clock with people with alcohol. Yeah. I, the data, four DUIs is enough to say no, there's something here.

Yeah. Those are the three commonalities between the DUIs. Yeah. And so it's like, I believe your twenties is, is, is a great opportunity to just gather data, where you thrive, the environments that you shouldn't be in that. Have a, a higher likelihood of something bad happening or you making a mistake or a bad decision.

So I just stopped going into the environments that increased my probability of being a dummy Yeah. Or making bad choices. And I ended up training 10 times and I ran 37 mile. I started at midnight the second I turned 37 and ran for nine hours and 30 minutes, and literally kissed the ground at mile 37 because I was really happy to see it.

And you taught yourself another lesson because I feel like every time, even if we go, I know I'm capable of this, it's gonna be hard. It's gonna, I'm gonna struggle. Yeah. Even though you know that about yourself and you knew that you were gonna reach that 37 miles no matter what. Oh, yeah. You still taught yourself another thing about yourself that Yeah, like I still have it.

I still am able to push myself past maybe some of my limiting thoughts and reach that goal that I spoke, that I was gonna reach. Well, what what it also does is it gives you data to say like, huh. So you're telling me, I, I, that I was capable of doing that the whole time. I just chose not to. What else am I choosing not to do that I am capable of doing?

Yes. If I applied myself and I'm willing to go through that friction or discomfort and really commit to it, where, where else am I just leaving potential. Just on the table left to dry. Yeah. Yeah. And like, to be quite frank with you, okay. Okay. To be quite frank with you, right after that, I got such a dopamine hit and I would go tell people about it and people would be like, oh, you did what?

And so I lived off of that dopamine hit for like six months. I'm like, yeah, I did this, I did that. They're like, whoa, that's great. Whew. Dopamine. I was now getting under earned dopamine because I was living off of an accomplishment telling people what I did do, not what I was currently doing. And so what I realized to as I got close to the end of the year was like, man.

I really do feel best when I'm challenging myself. And I'm moving my body. Those two things correlate with each other. Our body releases chemicals when we move it, it's called endorphins. It's designed perfectly. God didn't miss when he created the human body, but you can't get those same endorphins in that dopamine sitting around.

And so I'm like, it's all earned. And I was an athlete too, and I was like, man. Like, when I look back on my days as, as, as a baseball player, when I was young, I stopped playing baseball 14 with drugs and alcohol. But like I look back on, winning a state championship and, and all the things that I complained about are now the things that I reflect back on and have fond memories of.

I hated going to practice, but now I'm like, man. I, I, I wish I could go to practice with the boys and go hit baseballs and, yeah. And run laps and train and like, that's when I was really feeling best is when I was an athlete and I'm like, well, I don't have to be on a sports team to be an athlete.

I can, I can build a life around this. And so I decided in December that I was gonna start the year with 75 Heart, January 1st, 2022. And I had did it once before. And so I was like, that's, that's how I'm going to go into the year. I need this challenge. I need to move my body. I need to be putting good information in through my reading, hydrating, well, all of those things.

And and I, and I did the same thing. I said, I'm gonna do it for a hundred days, but then after a hundred days, I was like, I'm feeling really good. Most people do 75 hard on day 76. Yeah. Burgers, pizza, beer, whatever, blow it out. They go back right to who they were before they started. And I'm like, well, really?

What's the point of 75? Hard, I believe It's to show you what you're capable of. When you actually have structure, you have discipline, you have a strategy. You, you, your day is planned out. How much more productive that you could be. When you, when you have those things, it's kinda like your guardrails. It's gonna keep you where you need to be.

And so I really like. That, and then I thought like, well, I'm not gonna do 75 horror for a full year, but I'm gonna work out twice a day. I'm gonna drink a gallon of water and I'm gonna read every day. I'm gonna just do it for a full year because I feel too good and I don't want to go back to the version of me in December.

That was getting back to a low spot again, complacent. Complacent, yeah, I've seen success, but I really wasn't pushing myself. I wasn't chasing friction or challenges anymore. And so a year came and went, and then on the year Mark, Andy Fer says, show me your last thousand days and I'll show you why you are where you are.

And so I thought, man, I'm just not ready to stop this. Like, so I committed to doing a thousand days in a row and that was the ending date was supposed to be. September 28th of 2024 and I, I ended up doing it for three years straight, but as I was approaching year two, I had to call myself out.

It became a lifestyle. It became easy. It became normal. And I said I wanted to do a thousand days because I wanted that friction. I wanted to meet that version of me that could withstand this for a thousand days. But I'm really not pushing it anymore. I can go. No, it's just who, part of who you are. Easy.

It's routine. You've done it for so long. Routine. Routine. I can do it in my sleep at this point. Yeah. And so it was September, so I had about four month runway to hit my two year mark and, I said, I need to push myself again. This isn't doing what, what I created it to do anymore. And so I said, what if I could run 10 miles a day for, for all of 2024?

And my mindset immediately to, there's no way. And then I was like, well, that's cool because if I could pull it off, I could prove to myself that I'm capable of doing things that I didn't even think I was capable of. So let's give it a shot. I got the heckler coming up in my mind, he wasn't like, yeah, you can do it.

The cheerleader wasn't cheerleader was quiet over there. That point, must have been on vacation or whatever. So I immediately started running five miles a day as a part of one of my. Workouts of the two day, two workouts each day. Then two weeks later, bumped it up to five and a half, two and a half weeks later, six, six and a half, seven.

Just I had that four month runway that I had to figure out how to get up to 10 miles a day. And January 1st, 2024, started doing the 10 miles a day as well as my lifting. And then so I did that for all of 2024. Finished my three years of doing the two a days every single day. And then the last year was.

The 10 miles, it got to December again and I was like, it's over. I set a goal so long I, I've heard people say get lost in the process. I've never really been able to do that, so I wanted to set a goal that was so big that I can't think about it. I just had to force, be forced to think about today. Yeah, and get lost.

Really truly lost in the process because trying to wrap your mind around. Three years of doing, or a thousand days of doing something, it's just too big. You get overwhelmed when you think about the big picture, and I do, I I I, I'm in December and I'm like, am I just gonna go back to what was like, I've now set a standard to do two days.

I run 10 miles a day, like, and then I, here comes a download late December. Well, middle of a run alone, no headphones, no podcast. No, no, just me with me and God. And I was given a down look. Look up the world record for the most half marathons in a row. I stopped for my run right there. Googled most half marathons.

Saw I was 235 days. I just did 10 miles a day for a year. I can do that. It's only three more miles a day. It's only three more miles a day. And when you're at ten three miles, isn't that. Far away, you wouldn't think, but my, my, I didn't think until I got into it and I'm like, whoa, I feel those three miles now.

A couple months into it, it was really, really dark and brutal. Because before I was inching it up like a half a mile every two weeks, and I just straight jumped 30 something percent increase just. Boom. Just really, really quick. So I went to Guinness Booker World Record, put in an application. They approved it, but they approved it for like March 23rd, 2025 to start.

So I kept running the 10 miles a day just to stay healthy, stay fit, never took a day off, and and then started that. Now I'm 307 days into the world record, but. So what was the world record? It was, it was 235, but it's about 60 days into it. Somebody broke it and it changed to 555. So I was only planning on doing it for a year.

So that quickly got adjusted as I was staring at a computer screen with the 5, 5, 5. Wondering, do I continue? Do I keep going down this path? And I just was like, I can't make a decision when I'm at this extreme low. I know I can make a bad choice in a moment like this where there's something external that happened and I become reactive to it.

Rather than doing what's best for me or resisted to it. Exactly. And so I was like, I'm just gonna give it a few days. Keep honoring, and then I got upset and I got frustrated and I got angry at this guy, and then I created him as an enemy. Like, how dare you make me feel this way? You put me in a low spot, I'm gonna take what you got.

That's now gonna be mine. And so I was like, okay, I'll do 600 days, no big deal. You almost double what I expected, but we'll, we'll do it. And then just the other day I got beat again. It's now at 6 0 2. And because you don't know who's doing it while they're doing it until they beat it.

Yeah, I don't, but that shows you right there how many unforeseen things that might feel defeating. Will happen to you on a path to something great, something better. How often does the finish line move further and further away? Yeah. The goalpost like that, that, that's the thing is I really started to think about, it was like, did I really set a goal to run a half marathon a day for 365 days or did I set a goal to break a world record?

The goal was to break a world record. So why am I, why am I creating these false benchmarks? I'm going to just settle in, get lost in the process, make it a part of my lifestyle. I'll evaluate where I'm at, two years into the process. If somebody else breaks it, I'll keep going. Whatever. The commitment is there and I plan on.

Owning the world record. But for me, I was talking to somebody this morning, I said, what a blessing it was that they did that. Because if, if I looked up the world record and it said 6 0 2, I probably wouldn't have pursued it. You'd be like, oof. The fact that it said 2 35, it felt like it was in reach, it, it got me started, it moved me in that direction.

And then when I was in that process of, of doing that. Then that happened. Thank you know again, so well, they were creating more friction for you. Just like you, like I found them on social media both times and sent them a message and said, congratulations. I know what you went through. You have all, all my respect.

But, i'm on day, whatever. So what you have is, is temporary and enjoy it while you have it. Because I need to create these situations. That accountability piece, I told him I'm coming to take it. Yeah. And I need to honor that. Yeah. And I, one guy, I even said, thank you. For forcing me to find a better version of myself, a more committed version.

That's exactly what I needed. And somebody was, when I was talking to somebody this morning, one of my video guys, and he's like, man, I heard about that. He's up at Salt Lake. And he's like, I'm sorry. And I said, I'm not, because the 2 35 set something that I thought was attainable and doable. So I started, then it went to 5 55 and I was like, okay.

You know I can do that. And then it went to 6 0 2 and I said, but think about it. What if I would've only done it for a year and then somebody comes in behind me and does 5 55 and I spent a year of my life and somebody came and took that away 3, 4, 5 months later, you'd have been pissed. They're, they're, they're blessing me by pushing it back so far that by the time I do two years plus, the next person that views, that's like.

No thank you. Yeah, they, I'm gonna set, they, they're forcing me to set such a high standard that the likelihood of me, once I own the world record of, and actually having it for a long time is much greater because the number's much greater. Yeah. So they're doing me a favor and I told him, I said, in hindsight, it's actually a good thing.

And he said, hindsight, it just happened the other day. And I said, the version of me five to 10 years from now will look back and say. I'm happy that that happened. Absolutely. So sometimes I absolutely future project the version of me five or 10 years down the road. And if you're in domestic violence or this, that future project, where do you want that version of you five to 10 years down the road to be start making decisions that align with that?

Do you still want to be in that situation? Do you still want those same fears or frustrations or doubts or, or, or, or do you want a clear sheet of paper where even though you don't know what to draw. It's still up to you to draw whatever you want when you decide what it is that you do want to draw.

And that's how we really create a life. I, I believe that my job is just, is to live a life that, like, I, I put myself in a situation to run a half marathon a day, but then I look at myself as somebody else that's just experiencing it, and I'm like, how lucky am I? To be able to experience running a half marathon every day.

And I get to take all this in and I get to learn all these lessons and I, there's, there's so much beauty in all of the pain and and you get to learn more about yourself. Yeah. And your determination and who you are and what you're capable of. And Exactly. Once you reach that goal of the 600 and whatever, 700, whatever you decide it to be, then you get to find the next thing.

Yeah. Then you get to level up in another area of your life. 'cause you just proved beyond a doubt that you're capable of way more than you thought you were when you started your journey. Yeah. 75 hard turned into, a hundred days. That turned into a year. That turned into a thousand days. That turned into three years.

That ended up turning into a world record. So the reason why state, but that turned into a lifestyle. It turned absolutely but what that says is one small commitment. Yep. A 75 day commitment changed the entire direction of my life to the point to where now I'm breaking a world record. Let's be a matter of, three years later or four years later.

Sure. And so that's how big, just one decision, one commitment. Everybody is just one away from a completely different life. That's awesome, everybody. It's true. And, and I've, and I've morphed into multiple people through my life, and I'm a big believer we should kill this version of us every three to five years and recreate, recreate, recreate.

Stop taking this version of you that you don't like that's unhappy with you into next year, and then the next year, and then the next decade. That's a surefire recipe. For failure in the one thing that we have called life. Yeah. And you don't realize your capabilities until you push yourself like this.

Yeah. You, you, I guarantee you, five years ago if someone told you you were gonna run off a marathon a day for 700 days, they would, you would've, you would've said That's impossible. No, not, I don't. That's impossible. I hate running. I'm not running. Yeah. There without a doubt, but that's exactly what I needed.

And the only reason why I hated running is because it was hard and it was uncomfortable. So we avoid the hard, we avoid the, the uncomfortable, but that's where the true beauty lies. That's where the biggest, the, the most growth I've ever had in my life is through the hardest, most uncomfortable, most brutal, brutal, low.

Oh yeah. Times in my life. It doesn't feel like that while you're going through it. But on the other side you can look back. 'cause you have hindsight now. Well, sometimes it does. 'cause I was in an abusive relationship and it did feel like I, like I did recognize myself 'cause I wasn't raised in a situation where I should be comfortable with abuse.

Yeah. But it came on so slowly that by the time I realized what it was, I was in it and I, I'm like, how did I get here? It's almost like my addiction. Where am I? Yeah. Started with a little innocent chunk of a pill. And then next thing you know. You're so far deep that you don't even recognize yourself anymore, that you're chasing something that's unattainable because it's not something that's good for you.

It's not something that's, do you think that people in those type of situations that when you say chasing something, do you think that they're chasing validation and they're looking for validation from the wrong person that happens to be abuser or narcissist or whatever, but we're, we're, we're looking to them for, love and care and acceptance, and we're looking in all the wrong places, rather than really showing you that you love, care, and respect yourself by not tolerating that type of a situation. Yeah. Yeah. But I also, sometimes when you're in it, it's, come on. It's like putting a frog in a pot Yeah. And then turning the pot on.

Yeah. You don't realize how bad it is till it's almost too late. Yeah. Like, not too late, but like till you're deep in it, you're cooked and literally you gotta figure it out after, then you have to figure out, how do I get out and how do, and then once you're out, you have to figure out, okay, now how do I heal from all of this?

Because, well, you're probably a pretty burn frog at that point. You are and are. You're gonna have to go through some healing. And sometimes you're barely alive, however, and then you gotta go through the healing process, probably before progress process. Yes. But through that healing process, like for me, I learned a lot about myself when I could forgive the person who abused me, because in my mind, if I forgive him, he gets a free pass.

But my mom told me, if you forgive him, you get to move on. Yeah. He has no idea your struggles right now. Yeah. 'cause he's out of your life. Yeah. But if you forgive him, you get to move on and then that opens you up to the next best thing for yourself. Yeah. I've had a lot of things in my life that have been challenging.

But I'm fortunate enough that I had people around me to help encourage me to not take it as, oh, this is who you are and this is what you're gonna be the rest of your life. Yeah. But just tell me what are you gonna do now? Yeah. So this happened Now what? Yeah, some of those life altering questions.

My dad was always, what are you gonna do now? My dad always the now what guy? Yeah. Yeah. Where you're gotta be like, he's basically, here's the mirror, look at it and figure it out. Go inside. Like what? What are you gonna do? So every time you level up, you're telling yourself and the people that are watching, 'cause some people are always watching that.

That was her. Now I'm here. I'm capable of more too. Yeah. So keep watching because I'm gonna keep going. Yeah. Yeah. And, and I'm capable of whatever I can imagine I'm capable of. Yeah. I'm limited by my own self and that is it. Life is great when you're growing. Yes. Life gets pretty bleak and dim and dull and dark and gray.

If you, if you, when you're stagnant. Yeah. When you're stagnant and you're not growing, what happens to water? That's just sits. Yeah, it gets gross, it gets bacteria, gets gr what happens to water that's flowing and, and that's moving. Yeah. It stays, it stays fresh. And I'm a big believer in that.

I'm a big believer that, again, God didn't miss when he created the human design. I just believe that we're. Making bad decisions that, that put us in situations or circumstances that sometimes feel like we can't get out of, which is untrue. That's a lie that your brain is telling you. You could put yourself in any situation, any environment, and come become anybody that you want to become within a one to two, three year timeframe.

I've changed my life over and over and over and over, and, from being, broke and poor to a drug addict, to successful millionaire, to then down and out because money didn't solve all my problems to, running and, like I've recreated, redesigned my life so many times, and if you're down and out and, and things look really, really gray, that is your body and your brain saying.

Change. Yep. Do something different. Your midlife crisis is, is more of like a midlife calling. Yeah. I wouldn't even call it a crisis. It's a calling for you to change. Yeah. And for you to level up and do something different. That's, that's what that feeling is there for. Truly. It's signaling you Yep. To do something different.

Are you listening to the signal, like you have all the data on the decisions and the environments that you're in? Do you like it? The answer's no. Something's gotta change, whatcha gonna do? What are you gonna do? Thank you so much for your time, Trevor. Yeah, absolutely. Your story is amazing. Yeah. I just, I love, love, love stories of triumph.

You've done it all, which is beautiful. Not yet. Well, I mean by the time they put me six feet, I hope, I hope to just on my headstone, he did it all. I'm just talking about he did it all from drugs and alcohol to full on success, to always pushing yourself to be better and greater. And I think that's the best lesson that we can learn.

Yeah. Is to never give up on ourselves and know that there's always something better on the other side of a challenge or difficulty. Yeah. So thank you for your time, Trevor. And yeah. And much success to you. Yeah, much more success in, in, I'm not talking about financial, I'm talking about No, in your pursuits.

Yeah. Yeah. To better yourself every single day because it's an inspiration and, yeah. And where can people find you on social media so they can follow you? You can just find me on Instagram, Trevor Lee Cowley, or on Facebook, Trevor Cowley. I do have a, if you're a business owner, I have a podcast called Real Business Owners that just has.

It is really personal development. 'cause I believe that our results can't outperform who we are. Yeah. If you're constantly growing the results that you experience in life have no other option but to grow with you. And so usually we want the result and so we're chasing the result, but we're not turning ourself into the person worthy of that result.

So that's the friction that's stopping you. So it was awesome. Thank, thank you for calling me. Thank you for having me on. Absolutely. It was, it was fun. Thank you so much. Yeah, and if any of you want to follow him, ask him any questions. I'm sure he'd be willing to answer. Always remember that you're greater than who you are right now, and your potential is limitless.

Just push yourself and, and like he says, create that friction so that you can change and become the next best version of yourself. Have a wonderful, beautiful day. God bless.