EP14: Breaking Generational Patterns: Tineise with Kindness In Motion

From Teen Mom to Kindness in Motion: Tineise on Breaking Cycles, Finding Purpose, and Building Community

In part two of the Irene Podcast, Tineise shares how getting pregnant at 17 prompted an overnight shift toward motherhood and a desire to break generational patterns, though early parenting and relationships were messy, including leaving her daughter’s dad after police involvement and later divorcing in 2018. She describes returning to college at Utah Tech for criminal justice while raising two kids, running a business, and exploring psychology, ultimately rejecting “boxed-in” career limits to create Kindness in Motion, launched about two months ago and growing rapidly in the last six weeks. Tineise discusses overcoming fear and imposter syndrome by accepting she’s “messy” and “weird,” inspired partly by her son’s perspective, and emphasizes collaboration, community, and focusing on “what can we do.” She advises trauma survivors to find a trusted person to talk to, and wraps it up with Irene, a trauma-informed AI on their website for support.

00:00 Teen Pregnancy Turning Point
01:06 Breaking Generational Patterns
02:49 Messy Early Motherhood
04:44 Finding Her Voice
06:40 Letting Go of Fear
11:13 Divorce and Back to School
13:07 No Box Kindness Mission
14:52 Kindness in Motion Launch
18:14 Collaboration and Community
21:09 Embracing Weirdness
25:39 Finding Your People
25:57 A Walk That Changed Everything
26:53 Collaboration Over Money
27:48 Bring Back Community
29:18 Trauma Into Growth
29:59 Rewriting Your Identity
30:40 It Is Okay To Start Over
33:04 Try Everything First
34:53 Turn Off The News
37:23 Introverts And Extroverts
39:40 Advice For Healing
40:17 Find Your Person
42:41 When You Cannot Talk
44:32 Breaking The Silence
47:37 Building Community Again
50:33 AI For Good Irene
52:12 Where To Find Kindness In Motion
52:42 Final Thanks And Blessing

Kindness In Motion:

Website: https://kindnessinmotion.ngo/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kindnessinmotion.ngo?igsh=MTdqYWM3c2ZzbHBjMg==

Irenegpt.ai

Website: https://irenegpt.ai/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/irenegpt.ai?igsh=MWdwNTh0eTZ0aHNpaA==

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@irenegpt.ai?_r=1&_t=ZP-91vwytSGovf

Youtube: https://youtube.com/@IreneGPT?si=8An_BfZ7YKOu3BOT

Transcript

 Welcome back to the Irene Podcast. Today we have part two with Tanise, and she's gonna pick up where we left off.

I think last time we ended with you saying that you had just had your daughter. Yeah, I was technically 17 when I got pregnant. It was like. Three weeks before my 18th birthday pregnancy test came up positive on my 18th birthday. Welcome to adulthood. And yeah, so my, my childhood was a little chaotic.

My teen years were a little wild. And the day I turned 18, I went, okay, I'm responsible now. Time to be mom. Time to grow. Remember an adult now. And the interesting thing is, is I went through a very. Strong transformation of friends and stuff. At the time, even the guy I was with, my, my daughter's dad was like, who are you?

You used to be fun and now you're not. And like I just became a whole different person overnight. It was weird. I, like, I grew up real fast. I, I. I decided I wanted to be better in that moment and my life changed. Do you think part of that is because of what you had to experience as a child? You didn't want her to have to maybe go through that and at that time in your life it was still so fresh for you that you were like, okay, I'm gonna get it together for, for her.

I definitely think that there was definitely like a part of it where I feel. I wanna do better. I do. I do feel like I, through all of my children's years, my daughter is now 19. I can't believe that. Yeah. Through all of my years of parenting, I do feel like there's always been a part of me that's like, I want to do better, erase generational patterns.

We don't have to be that way just 'cause we were raised that way. Yes. Type thing. I many times found myself if I did or said anything that reminded me of the people that I did not like in my own childhood and I, I felt or heard any of those words come outta my mouth. I would stop, apologize, and be like, Nope, we're not gonna be like that.

We're gonna do better. We're gonna change now. Yes. So I used it as a reminder to like, yes, we're gonna be better. But there was also something weird biological that I feel like clicked. It was like that mother instinct. As soon as I got pregnant, I was like. We're, we're done. We partied for a while. We were crazy for a while, and now we're not gonna do that anymore.

Yeah. And I just wanted to better that nurturing part of Yeah. Of being a mom just, yeah. Stepped up big for you. It, it snapped pretty hard. I, it was, it was overnight transformation. That's beautiful though. Yeah. My daughter, I, like I said, I like to say my daughter saved my life and I really feel like she did she that.

Just, I'm gonna be mom and I'm gonna be better and I'm gonna be done drinking and I'm gonna be done doing all of the crazy things. 'cause I'm gonna be mom now. Completely put me on a whole different path. It was good. That's, that's beautiful. Okay, so explain like your daughter's born, you're this new adult, mature, responsible mom.

Oh, we don't say responsible and not mature either. That was the hard thing is because of the way that I was raised, I don't really feel like anybody gave me any guidance at all on how to be a mom, how to be responsible, how to anything. Honestly, my sister that I was talking about, like she stepped up and she was mom, but I feel like I still kind of leaned on her and my aunt and friends and everything up to this point.

Someone is gonna. Take care of everything. And when it became, now I have to be the responsible one. It was really messy. It was really messy for a while. My daughter's a prime example of one of those. You feel really bad for the first kid 'cause you do a few things wrong. First you learned and you didn't get a book, can you, you didn't get I stumbled.

I stumbled for a few years. I learned and it doesn't mean it wasn't messy. I, the relationship with her dad was not good and did not, and well, I left ugly cops. He went to jail, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, and then with my, my son, so I have two kids. I later met my son's dad. I married him. My daughter was about three and a half.

I was married for nearly a decade. Tried to figure out how the whole be a good wife when you'd never seen that before either. Yeah. And have a good, solid relationship when I've never witness one. Never seen that before. Yeah. So there was, there was parts of that that did not, that work out very well either, and that ended and was unpretty in some of its own ways too, and.

Stumbled. Stumbled and made mistakes left and right and here and there, and slowly kind of got myself to where I am. I honestly don't really feel like I grew up until I was like 35. Well, good for you. I don't think I've ever grown up, so I feel like, I feel like it kind of magically happened a couple years ago.

I, I've only recently with the kindness in motion thing, I have, I have very recently found my voice, my mm-hmm. Where I feel like I belong in the world, my confidence, all of that. I was a whole different person even four years ago. Yeah. Two, two years ago. A, a month ago. A couple weeks ago. Yeah. I've grown.

Yeah, I've been growing and I really feel like, like I said, something happened a few years ago and it's been kind of uphill from there over the last three years. Very much uphill over the last six months. I. I'm slowly finding my place in the world. I feel like I was born into complete and utter chaos, and then I drug through the mud for a couple decades.

Yeah. And now I'm like, oh, now I feel like I got this. Have you read that book? You Squared? I have not, but you have to get it. I've had it. I've been, I've told Can't talk. I've been told about it a couple of times. It's like. 35, 40 pages long. Okay. I have, I have heard about it. Yeah. 'cause they were talking about it in that group mm-hmm.

That we met in. Yes. But I think this could be a big reason why you're feeling like that right now. Because when you trust in something bigger than you and you work towards that, big things happen. Big changes happen to us, like personally in our lives. Yeah. When we put trust in, this is my goal and I'm just gonna go for it.

Even if I don't know how I'm gonna get there, I will get there. Yeah. And I see that in you and it's so fun to watch and it's something that like I'm seeing in myself a little bit too, and it's like, like I almost feel like I'm, I'm a little white knuckled, but not in a bad way. Just in a, like I'm ready for the ride.

Mm-hmm. And. So explain maybe some things that you have done or have happened in your life that you feel like have kind of helped you move up so quickly on that like, you know, you'd said you're on an uphill Yeah. I, what are some of the things that have happened that you feel like have pushed you that up that hill?

Definitely letting go of the fear. I wouldn't say I don't feel it anymore, but there. Like some of these things that I've been wanting to do with like kindness and motion. They're ideas I've had for a long time. These are thoughts and feelings I've felt for a long time. It's definitely a core part of who I am, but I never wanted to step into that.

And a lot of it is that imposter syndrome. Yeah. Like somebody, it's real. I have this idea. I think that it would be a really good thing if somebody would do it, but I don't wanna do it. I am not gonna go put myself out there. I don't wanna talk about it. I don't want anybody looking at me. And then heaven forbid, somebody decides to nit.

Pick me apart. That was one of the things that I was afraid of. Like, oh, this person that is gonna go out and try to say, let's be good people and let's be good humanitarians or whatever. Look at her messy childhood and the things that she's done and like, I just feel like if somebody came in and like picked me apart, that wouldn't make me feel good or look good enough.

That scared me. Yeah. Like I've. I'm not perfect, and granted, I've tried to do the best I can with the circumstances I was given, but. I'm not perfect, and I just felt like, you know, you had to be somebody Yeah. Perfect. To go do something like this. I think that most of us who try and do big things feel that to a certain extent.

Yeah. Because you like there's some, I, I call it Satan. I call it the adversary trying to stop me, but like there's something that kind of puts those things in your head. Yeah. I think to try and stop you. And I think what our job is, is to trust in what we know. That we're capable of no matter what our past is.

Because the same thing for me. I have, I mean, I could sit and tell you stories too. Yeah. And there's a lot that I've done in my past that maybe wasn't like on paper it didn't look the greatest, but the lessons I learned and the growth that I had, I'm, I'm grateful for those things. Yeah. But to somebody looking from the outside, they don't know all the things that happened transpired because of that.

Yeah. So I think that that's a good perspective to try to remember to have is like they don't know. What you've been through to get you to the point where you are right now. Well, and now is your time, your time to believe in all of that and just keep going up that hill. Yeah. Full steam ahead. And I think some of it too is like, it's not that I'm done being messy, I'm, I'm still messy.

Some of it's like, no, the. I kind of let go of that fear a little bit, but some of it was just accepting that I am messy and I am unperfect and it's okay. Like we talked a little bit about how I have these A DHD traits a little bit, and sometimes I can get really loud and spunky and bounce off the walls a little bit and I have to, yeah.

Especially when you get excited about something. Yeah. And for me, that's when it happens too. Yeah. Yep. And lately I've been excited a lot, so I've, I've gotten those looks from people a lot. They're like, you're a lot. And I'm like, sorry, don't apologize for that though. Yeah. And sometimes though, it's kind of a good thing.

Like right now I feel like. My happy, spunky, bounce off the wall. Energy has actually been really good for some people lately. Yes. There's a few people I've talked to that're like, man, I needed your energy in my life today. I was like, oh good. I'm glad it's good for someone. No, it's beautiful because I think that the more that you come to understand, like to not apologize for who you are because who you are, you're meant to be who you are.

Like, you're such a beautiful soul. You're like, I've spent enough time with you in the past couple weeks. Like I am one of your biggest cheerleaders for what you're doing. 'cause I love what you're doing and I, I can see that you're really passionate about what you're doing. So that, in my mind, that makes you fully qualified to do what you're doing.

And I am going to be your biggest cheerleader forever. 'cause I just, I think it's so beautiful when you can take. A messy or ugly, or even sometimes traumatic or horrific past and go, that's not gonna define my future. That's my past that I'm going to use to rebound off of, to become better in my future.

And to break those generational curses and those traumas from, you know, generations back. And so I think the more that we can focus on that and the other noise is always gonna be there, there's always gonna be people who don't believe in themselves. So they don't believe in you. Right. They don't think they could ever do it, so they're gonna downplay what you do because it makes them feel better about themselves.

Nothing to do with you. Nothing to do with your ability. So. Let's talk more about like, so you have your kids, you're married to your husband now. What? Well, I got, I got divorced in 2018, so it's been a few years now. I've just been single mom for a few years. I think it was really close to roughly the, pretty much the same month that I, I left my son's dad that I went back to school.

I think I enrolled in August. When separated in September. But anyway, I went back to college. I made the decision that I was gonna go figure out who I was and I was gonna go find my place in the world. And I went back to school and I registered at U, well it was Dixie, now it's Utah Tech. And I completed my bachelor's degree there few more messy years of trying to figure out how to be a single mom with a couple of kids, a couple of very challenging kids.

And then running my own business full-time and going to school as a college student full-time. And so that I grew, I feel like I grew up a lot during that time too. But mostly it was several really good years of just trying to find myself. Yeah. And. I, I went to school for criminal justice and a lot of it was, I really strongly felt like I wanted to make a difference in the world.

I really wanted to find somewhere that I could make that difference. And while I was going to school, I started taking some psychology classes and I really loved that subject, kind of side railed a little bit, thinking, well, maybe I could go be a therapist or something. And then I feel like this. Was, it was kind of an aha moment where I went, okay, what field really could I make the biggest differences?

And no matter where I looked at it, you're very limited in who you can help and how. And then you have a lot of parameters put on you of what you can and can't say, and who you can and can't help, and where you can and can't go. And I'm like. Every time I started thinking about putting myself in some one of these careers, it is like putting myself in a box of like, you are limited in who you can help and how.

And I didn't wanna do that. Well, Denise isn't good in a box. I don't do well in a box. I really don't. So I drew my own box and the crazy thing is, is when I decided that I was gonna figure out my own thing. It was all about not drawing a box. I don't, kindness in motion does not have a box. Yeah.

Everybody kept telling me, well, you have to define your audience. I'm like, no, I don't. And they're like, well, you have to decide who you're not gonna help. I'm like, no, I don't. I don't just help single moms. I don't just help people of certain ethnicities or poverty level. Like, no, they're, why? Why do we put a box every, everybody needs different levels of help.

And it really was like a, I don't want to be limited in what I can do. I want to be able to help. Everyone and be able to do everything I can for everyone I can, and make the biggest difference that I can make the biggest impact possible. Yeah. In my time on this earth. And I don't like being limited. And I think that I've slowly learned that throughout all of my life, in the most ugly periods of my life, when I was tried to be stifled as a child, it was it resulted in a very angry child.

And when I got stifled throughout my adult years where people started. Trying to tell me who I could and couldn't be and what I can and can't do, and where I can and can't go. It just didn't go over very well and I finally figured out I don't like being in a box. Yeah. I don't want to, I don't wanna be, I'm gonna do what I want.

Yeah. Maybe that goes with a DH, adhd. 'cause I don't like, maybe because. I don't like being in a box or told what to do. Don't tell me what to do. I don't like being told what I can't do. Yeah, and that is a big part of the kindness motion thing too, is everybody keeps saying like, well, you can't. I'm like, no, no, no.

Don't. No can't. It's what can we do? I mean, I guess, I guess if you really want me to, you can tell me I can't, 'cause then I'm going just go do it so I can show you that I can't. Right. Yeah. I don't like being told I can't. Yeah, so Kindness. When was Kindness in motion Born? Well officially about two months ago.

Wow. Yeah. And we have had massive progress in about the last six weeks. It's been four to six weeks that most of it has happened. You gotta read this book. I'm not kidding. Like I know. I'm gonna show you guys. This is a book that if you are anywhere in your life, it gives you the tools so that you can make huge changes in a short amount of time.

I'm not sponsored or anything, I just like. My partner and I just read this book this week and it changed everything for us. It changed the way we think about everything. It, it's changing everything. So I, I really, I definitely read it. It's a quick read. You can read it in like a day easily if you just sit down for 30 minutes, but it's like, big changes are totally possible. And I just take it like when somebody tries to tell me like, oh, you can't do this or you can't do that, it's like, okay, well maybe you can't, but I can. Yeah. And I'm going to, and I'm not gonna do it outta spite, I'm gonna do it because that's what I already planned to do.

But, and I'm gonna do it my way and I'm gonna do it faster than you probably think I could or should. But that's okay. And I, that's what I think of when I think of you, because if you just started two months ago and you're already on this like huge leaping journey, read that book. I guarantee you're gonna reach every goal that you set this year if you read that book and follow those guidelines.

It's so amazing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna reach them anyway. It's so good. Yeah. Well that's true. Yeah. So I feel like that, I guess that's a lot of it too. Is the whole you telling people, telling people or people telling me that I can't it may like, there's a part of it that's like, okay, maybe I can't, maybe, you know, being told this particular thing is something you're not capable of, but somebody is, someone out there is capable of doing that and I'm gonna go find that person.

Yeah. And I'm gonna go connect that person and then I. Like in that way, I'm gonna go make that happen. Yeah. And a lot of a kindness and motion is built that way. Yes. It's not about what I can do, it's the fact that everyone can do something. Yes. And if we all step up and do the part that we can do, it will make all the difference.

It aligned with people that we know can do what maybe we can't do. Yes. So if I'm not personally gonna be able to do it, I'm, I'm with you. I will. Talk to whoever I can or whoever I need to, to make connections with people that together we can get there. Yeah, because I wanna help other people get there too.

That's why I love what you're doing and I wanna keep having you on the podcast is 'cause I truly believe in your mission as well. Not just my dreams and goals, but I want you to reach yours, but also like. When we both reach our dreams and goals, we are bringing so many people along the way with us that it's just that, that much greater of a journey and that much greater of an accomplishment, I think, down the road.

Yeah. Well it's all about making, 'cause yours is about making a difference in other people's lives, as many people as possible. And that's what we do too. Different in different ways. Yeah. But but the same thing, like I truly believe. That everybody has the potential to be something great in their life if they apply themselves.

Yeah. And two weeks ago you were saying some things to me and I was like, listen, listen sister. And we, and we kind of like joked about it, but I've already seen changes just in two weeks and you said kindness, emotion started two months ago and you've like hit the ground running and I'm so proud of you for that.

It's amazing. Yeah, it's been, it's been some good, fun growth. It's been a lot of fun along the way, and I've met some amazing people too. There's so many good, wonderful people in the world, Uhhuh, so many, and I just absolutely love that so many people are starting to grasp the collaboration thing. It is a big word that's everywhere right now.

Everyone's using it, but it's real. Like if we stop trying to compete with each other. Yeah. And we stop trying to think everything is a competition. Yeah. And we all only get. This much and realize that we all can have all of it. We can win every Do it, do it together. Everybody can win. There's enough waiting for everybody.

Yes. Yeah. And I just love it because the more I get out, the more I just realize that I am right where I want to be. Yeah. And it kind of. Goes back to the last time we talked, I told you like I have personally experienced what I think hell looks like. And as a child we were always told like, you know, when you go to hell, you'll be surrounded by bad people that do bad things.

So when you go to heaven, you're gonna be surrounded by good people with good energy that do good things. And I'm like, okay, I'm seeing that here on earth. Been there, done that. And now, honestly, today I feel like. This is, this is everything that I've ever wanted. Yeah. Yeah. My life feels like I am in heaven right now.

Wake you up at 3:00 AM All of the people, 3:00 AM alarm. All of the people in my life right now are some of the greatest people I've ever met. They make my soul so happy and I am in heaven. I can just keep doing this for the rest of my life and I would be happy as can be. I can tell, I can see the light like you're, you just have this beautiful aura about you, about about what you're doing, and I can see like.

It's not just like, oh, I'm just doing this 'cause I'm a good person. No, I'm doing this because I wanna make a big change in the world. I want more people to, to see what I'm doing and then do that themselves. That's what kind of emotion sounds like to me, is like not just something that you're doing to help a few people around here and there.

It's something that you want to. Not just make an impact in your community, but make an impact as people hear about what you're doing, they wanna do something similar. Yeah. Because like I said, there's enough winning for everybody. There's always more people that we can help. Nobody will ever reach a limit and then, oh, you're done.

Yeah, no, your influence and your impact can go so far. So I wanted to ask you. Go ahead. No, that's okay. I was just gonna say in our mission statement, the first two words are to inspire, and I really honestly feel like that's my whole job. Yeah, yeah. That's beautiful because then you'll never be in a position where you're not doing something impactful because your impact could just be what you do has.

Inspired somebody else. Mm-hmm. To do what you do. Because if we have 12 kindness in motion, nobody's gonna be mad about that. I'm not gonna be mad about that. You're not gonna be mad about that. No. 'cause you're like, that's what I want. I want other people to do what I do. Yeah. It's not just for you. It's not for you and your glory.

You're not doing it for any of that. You're doing it because this is what lights your soul on fire is helping people. Yep. And I, I'm right there with you, sis. That's awesome. I'm so. Happy that we've met. So I wanted to ask you also, what is one of the biggest things that you did? I'm, I mean, I don't know, this is kind of a, it might be a hard question, question to answer, but what is one of the most impactful things that you've done to change maybe your mindset about things to where you maybe didn't feel capable or good enough, or like you're an imposter, so now you feel like, no, this is what I'm supposed to do and this is who I am and I'm meant for this.

Oh boy. So. I try to figure out how to put it in words, but throughout my life, particularly starting very young with a lot of core people in my life and even through most of my relationships, I was continuously told that I am broken or less than, or belittled or told, you know, there's something wrong with me.

And being told like. What is wrong with you? What, what is with you? Why are you like this? Why are you broken? Why are you weird? All tho all of those things I feel like kind of kept me from playing big. Kinda like I was convinced that. They were right. I was broke. Yeah. The, I was broken. The, I, there's definitely something wrong with me.

I am weird. And I feel like that it really kind of was like the, the day that I went, you know what? I am definitely weird and that's okay. And I really feel like a lot of that light bulb moment was my son. My, my 11-year-old is so smart. He's crazy. He, he started saying things to me like, gosh, I think he was seven when he came to me and said, mom, the kids at school said, I'm weird.

Defense mom mode goes on and I'm ready to like try to explain to him, go to school with him. And he goes, they don't get it, mom. And I'm like, okay. And he goes, I don't remember his exact words, but he's like, weird. Just means that you are an outlier and you're outside the parameters of normal and there's no such thing as normal, so therefore everyone is weird.

And I was like. Okay. Like, and I just sat there and I was like, that's deep. I don't even know how to answer that. And I was like, okay. So we're all weird. And he just, it stuck with him. And he, all the time, still to this day, my son looks at me all the time and he goes, mom, you're weird. And I'm like, you're weird.

And he goes, I know. And then we just, yeah. And I feel like it was the. The epiphany of like, yeah, I'm not normal. I am definitely not. I am. I don't fit in the box. I am my own little breed and I have definitely been told my whole life that I do not function like all the other kids and I have my own spastic nature.

And I think I just realized I'm okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. Once you realize like it's, it's fine. Yeah. 'cause it's who I am. Yeah. And I love me. I am, I am high energy. But that's from that time when you did that work on yourself, you know? Yeah. Like you took that time to like, really? 'cause I did the same thing and I like, that's the biggest growth I ever had is when I stepped back from all the outside noise that made me feel less than mm-hmm.

And I just went, no, I am amazing. I do have a lot to offer. I have the hugest heart. I love big. I get hurt, but that's okay. I'd rather hurt because I loved big than never feel that feeling ever. Mm-hmm. I just absolutely am so grateful for all the things that I've been through because they've made me who I am and.

When I see other people who don't quite understand, it's just time. It's just time for them to realize who they really are and realize what their true purpose and passion is. Yeah. And I think that if we're always pursuing that we get to grow, and then we get to grow beyond the people who are the naysayers in the corner that are still saying the same things while we're over here now instead of over here where they were.

Yeah. Well, and it's, it's kind of like that picking where you wanna be, you know? Yeah. Like. I don't want to live in any of the circumstances that I did when I was younger. Been there, done that. That was fun. Let's never do that again. And today, like, you know, surrounding myself with all of these beautiful, strong humanitarian types, it just makes me super happy.

And I had somebody ask me like, the, not the who's your. But what kind of people do you want in your circle? And I basically said humanitarians like I don't care if you're a leader of another nonprofit, a representative of another nonprofit, you're a humanitarian soul yourself. You're a business that loves doing humanitarian things.

I want all of you, the people I don't want is those. People that wanna sit in the corner and tell me I can't. Yeah. You can stay over there. You can't. I'm okay with that. Can just keep it to yourself, know. Yeah. And they, they, they can be happy over there. Yeah. I just, I like happy people. Yes, me too. And putting yourself in rooms with people that align with what your beliefs are, changes everything.

It's so wonderful. Changes everything and like. I, I've talked to my partner about this. We've looked back a couple times to see like, how do we get where we are right now? And it's 'cause we went on a walk. We went on a walk. The, our social media manager, the team that does all of this for us, she hosts a walk once a month and we went on this walk and then we were like, oh, let's talk to her and see maybe if she could help us with our social media.

And then we hired her and then all of a sudden all these doors open for us and meeting all these amazing people that have helped us. Along our journey, which has only been short since November. Wow. You know, we're, we've been doing this since November and like the people I've gotten to meet, the people I've gotten to have on my podcasts, like the things that we've, the places that we've been, the, the amazing people that we've gotten to speak to that have helped us with our business, the people that are just so willing to give of their time, just to kind of give us a little advice or support, like it's just so amazing to.

See the impact when we all just wanna give to each other to help and support each other to grow. Yeah. Nothing monetary. It's just all like, how can I serve you? How can you serve me? Mm-hmm. And we will serve each other and we'll get there together. That's the collaboration word. It's yes. And it's so beautiful.

It's so beautifully overused. I love it. Everyone needs to just keep doing that, but like you don't realize how quickly and rapidly you can make a change when you start supporting and. Helping other people in their growth, in their business, in their goals. Like the more I help you, the more in turn that I feel like I'm blessed in my business grows, you know?

And, and I'm not doing it for that purpose, but it's kind of beautiful to see that the more that I put myself a position to help other people, the more I feel like I'm blessed. If that's what you wanna say. Yeah. That's how I feel. I feel blessed that I'm, I'm, I mean, I got to meet you and I got to hear what you do, and I got to like.

Figure out how I can, you know, spread the word. And what you're doing because I think it's so, it's so important. Community is so important. And I know that's a big focus of yours too. Oh yeah. Bring the community back to the community. Yeah. Because I think we kind of got away from that and maybe it was COVID or, or technology or like that's a lot of.

There's a whole lot of elements to it, but I think if we can just get back to the foundation of who we are as humans and figure out how to just do something kind for somebody. No strings attached, nothing. No ulterior motive, no nothing. Just doing something kind for somebody else just because it brings us joy in our heart.

Or because it brings them joy or whatever it is, but just doing it without expecting something in return, I think is so beautiful and impactful. Yeah. And it's important for people to find their place. You know, it's I, you see it all the time with the people that have that really good, beautiful, true humanitarian heart in there somewhere, but they're super scared.

Rightfully so. There are some scary things in the world. Like I said, there's lots of elements to it, but when they find their little thing and they figure out, oh, rescue dogs is exactly where I want to be, and it makes my whole soul happy, you see that person come to life. Yes. And then you see somebody else that goes over and connects with the.

Can to Arts Foundation and their soul lights on fire. And then you see somebody that goes over here and they start working with Red Cross and the next thing you know they're overseas doing, who knows what, and they just can't get enough of it. Yeah. Everyone, if we just find our place, the whole world would just be a much better place.

Yeah. I agree, and, and for me and my partner, our passion is helping people to see that like where you are right now does not have to be where you are in six months or six years, like you can. Use those things that have been hard in your past, hard childhood, whatever it might be, trauma abuse. You can use those things kind of as a springboard to put you in a better place and to grow and to like challenge yourself and to like break through some of those things that I think have held people back for many, many, many years that you no longer want to be an obstacle for you.

So you push so hard that that boundary is now broken and you can be free of that. Well, I think some of it too is that not wanting to be that person anymore, like you're talking about, like I don't want this to define me anymore. 'cause we use that to define ourselves, right? Like I said, I was afraid to.

Put myself out there. 'cause some people would be like, oh, you are this. I was labeling myself. Yeah. I decided I was the kid with the broken childhood. I decided I was the 38. How? How? I'm 38. 38 years old. I'm a 38-year-old that I still label myself for being an angry 15-year-old. Yeah. And I'm the one doing that to me.

Yeah. Why? Why am I doing that to me? Yeah. And when we realized that we can. Be someone else. Mm-hmm. It is okay to just be like, you know what, we're gonna just shut this door at about age 35, 36 and decide that was someone else. And I have a new identity now and this is now who I wanna be. And it is okay to start over.

It is okay to start over at any time. Like my son was trying to tell me last night, he's like, I have to figure out what I wanna do when I grow up. I'm like, why? He's 'cause I'm 11 and I don't know yet. I'm like, you're you just, you're 11. You don't need to know. Yeah. And the most common age that people have a career change and decide to go back to college is 28.

The most common age people change their career for the second time is 35. The most common age people change their career for the third time is 45. And it is very common. For people to change their career constantly. You don't have to figure out what you wanna do. Even if you do figure it out right now, you're probably gonna change anyway.

Yes, it is okay to wake up one day and be like, I'm ready. I wanna be somebody else. I wanna do something different. That's why I think it's so silly that we push so much for kids to go to college when they're 18 years old. 'cause who knows what they wanna do when they're 18. And even if you think you do, it could change in a year.

Oh, I'm so glad I did not go to college for what I thought I wanted to do when I was 18. Well, you could finish your degree and then you're like, well, I don't wanna do that. Yeah. So I think it's important for us to like let that evolution happen of your like, this is what I wanna be, no, actually this is what I wanna be.

Or you find something new that you're super passionate about. I'll be 50 this year, and. Finally found what I'm super passionate about. That's awesome. And it's like, it's never too late. I, that's one thing that I told my kids too. 'cause my son, my youngest son is 18 and he, you know, he went to school to be an electrician for the past year and he just told us, I don't know if I, that's what I wanna do.

I'm like, what do you wanna do? He's like, I think I wanna move back to California. And I'm like, go for it buddy. And he's gonna just move out there and help his grandma and. Maybe do some construction, I don't know, but like he's a baby. Like he'll be 19 in next week, but good go experience life. He has so much time to figure out what he wants to do.

Mm-hmm. And I'm so glad that he knows, like I can try different things and it's, you know, it's okay. Yeah. Because my parents are telling me it's okay. 'cause he was concerned to tell us, I think for a little while. 'cause he was afraid like we might not support him or understand why he wanted to change. And I'm like, you can always go back.

Yep. If you try seven different things and you go, oh actually I did like that. You can go back. Yep. It's, it's never like, it's never too late. Yep. So I think it's important for us to always remember that like not just with education, but like, well everything. When my 11-year-old was trying to tell me, he's just like, I need to figure out what I want to do.

And I was like, no. And he said, well, what am I supposed to be doing? I said, everything. Yeah, you are at the age right now. And honestly. We almost always are at the age where we should just be everything. Yeah. Try, try everything. If you haven't found your thing, go try something else. Yeah. And then go try something else and then go try something else and go try something else.

And tell your soul lights on fire. Like, and sometimes it'll be like the third thing you tried, you really liked, but you're like, I wanna try more. And then you, you end up going back to that third thing. 'cause you're like, actually I tried all these other things and this I, this is still in my mind. Mm-hmm.

So I wanna go back to this or you, but you'll, you'll never know if you don't go try new things. Exactly. Exactly. And I think that. I've always taught my kids to just love learning because we live in a day and age where there is so much information on YouTube. If you learn visually, that's a great place for you to go.

There's so much information just on the internet. If you wanna read about anything, like you can learn almost anything that you want to do just from the internet. Yeah, you can actually even help yourself, like if you say you don't have the finances to go to therapy at the time, there is a lot of information out there.

You have to be careful because there's some noise, but there's a lot of information that can help support you in trying to like. Figure out maybe like where things got a little wonky in your brain and where you might need to do some healing so that you can get back to a place where you're like, okay, I, I can, yeah, I can handle life because I dealt with some of the maybe trauma or something that has happened to me, but it's just.

It's beautiful the day and age that we live in, but it can also be so distracting. Well, the University of YouTube is great and I think that it's a really great place to get information. It's probably one of the few places that I would personally say is a good place to just spend your time online. I think that if there's one thing I wish people would do less of, it would be sitting back and watching the news, turn it off.

Go outside. Go outside. Because world, I mean world unless you like anxiety. Yes. The world, our algorithms show this all the time. Our world looks like the way we see it. Mm-hmm. If you are constantly looking at wars across the country or across the world, you're gonna see keep seeing those things. If you are constantly looking at the.

Murder case in Tennessee and then the the rape case in Maine, you're gonna be living here in Utah thinking that the world looks like that. Like go outside. 'cause the more you go talk to people, the more you will see. 99% of people are pretty good. Yeah. You're right. And spending that time to be like in community and talk to, I mean, I talk to strangers all the time.

I'm from Southern California, and when you're standing in line at the grocery store, you're having a full on conversation with the person in front of you or behind you or both. Yeah. And you just have this conversation and then you go, okay, bye. Have a great day. And then you move on about your day. And I like, I miss that.

I miss that because like that's, I'm a very, very social person. I think that's why podcasting might be kind of easy for me is because I love talking about, like talking to people and learning about their lives. I love hearing somebody's perspective on life. I love hearing somebody's journey. I love hearing how you've taken yourself from what could have been like a lifelong.

Life full of traumatic experiences because you get stuck in what happened to you as a kid instead of pulling yourself out and going, that's not what I want for my future or my children's future. So I'm gonna do different and it's gonna be hard and I might struggle along the way, but I am gonna make a change because this is not okay for my future or my children's future.

Yeah. And like that's so that I am empowered by your story because. I feel like we all have our own perspective and our own different, unique, you know, upbringing and whatever, but if we can truly try to understand where somebody else has come from, it helps us appreciate where we've come from. Yeah, because like your experiences have made you who you are and I'm like so grateful for your growth.

For you, but I would, I like, I'm so grateful I didn't have to experience that when I'm younger. I'm not saying anything bad about you. It's just like I'm grateful for my challenges because they seem a lot easier than maybe what you had to deal with. But I don't know because I'm coming from my perspective.

Yeah. Right. No, I think that's good. And then we have to kind of respect where everybody is a little different too. Like you're saying, standing in the middle of the grocery aisle and you're talking to the person behind you and in front of you. I'm very much the same way, but most of the actual.

Interestingly, even though I have a very social personality and I seem to attract those kind of people, most of the people in my life are not, they are the quiet, reserved type that are looking to attach themselves to a social person that will help Yeah, navigate them. I, I have a lot of those kind of people in my life and it's really funny when I have a whole bunch of 'em coming in.

They're like, how, how do you do that? And I'm like, you just say hi. And they're like, but how? Like, but why? And it's, there's a lot of them that really, really struggle with that desire to connect because it's foreign. Yeah. It's intimidating, it's scary, uncomfortable. It causes anxiety. It's, there's a lot of reasons to it too.

So the hard thing for me has been remembering that I don't. Have to be, make everybody socialize with me when there's those quiet reserve types, be like, okay, you're okay. Come with me. Yeah, protect you. It's funny, I just saw a little clip of something where the guy was saying, how come introverts are pressed to be extroverts, but extrover extroverts aren't ever told to shut up.

Oh, I, I'm like, oh, that's kind of interesting. I never thought about it like that, I've been told, but it's just kind of like one of those things where it's like. Everybody's, their them, you know, has a reason for their personality, and I think every personality is. Is important. I think it's good to have people who are more quiet.

We call different types because I feel more drawn to people who are quiet. 'cause I'm curious about who they are. I know who the extrovert is because they wear it on their sleep because they already told me. Yeah. But I wanna know about that person who's in the corner that's just quiet. And it, it's not always that they're like anxious or, or anything like that.

Sometimes. Some people just like to sit back and watch and observe for a while before they speak. Mm-hmm. Which I sometimes can be like that too. It depends on the crowd I'm, I'm in. But if I'm in a new room and I don't know anybody, sometimes I'll, I'll just. Observe for a little while. Yeah. 'cause I wanna know who do I wanna spend my time talking to in this room, you know?

Yeah. So is there anything else that you think that would help people who maybe have been through something traumatic in their life? Maybe some advice or some tools that you've learned or anything that you think that could help somebody kind of push past? I call it the comfort zone. 'cause it's easy to stay where you are.

'cause it's comfortable, it's, it's uncomfortable when we grow. But that uncomfortability, if that's a word, being uncomfortable, is essential if we wanna change our state. So what, what advice would you give to people that maybe might feel stuck or overwhelmed at the thought of change or healing? Well, I.

There's a lot, but probably if I had to pick one, it would be find your person. And I don't mean relationships, I mean your friend, that one person that you can talk to because I no knock against therapist. They're amazing. They have wonderful place in the world, but there is no better therapist than your best friend.

And until you can get to where you can completely open up everything, talk about every scar, talk about every single thing, and just process through it and get it all out and hash out every detail of what your fears and your concerns and your anxieties and everything are. You won't feel like, okay, now it's all out on the table.

Now I can figure out how to do it, deal with this and organize it, and then I can move forward with it. When you're dealing with so much in there, you gotta get it out first. And we all need that one person that will just help you get it out and love you unconditionally. Yeah. Yeah. We all need a best friend.

Yeah. And that's the thing about, you need to go outside, go find, go find somebody you can talk to. Talk to somebody. Talk to people. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, I mean, we're all super lucky. If we can find that one person that'll just let us just talk and talk. But if you can't. You don't have that one person just talking to multiple people.

You get a little bit more, you get a little bit more talking. The. Actual process of allowing the words to come out with the emotions. It allows your body to let it go. Yeah. You have to talk about it. I think especially as women. Yeah. I can't speak for men 'cause I, I don't quite understand. I mean, I've been married for 25 years.

I still don't understand. I would say for men, I would say more than women, honestly, they need to talk about it. But I mean, my husband will talk to me about anything and I, to him, like he's my person. But I'm also grateful to have women in my life like that. Like my partner is like that. My business partner like her and I can have these deep, meaningful conversations and sometimes we're crying and sometimes we're laughing and sometimes we're hugging and sometimes we're, it's messy.

But like knowing that no matter what I say to her, it's safe. Mm-hmm. That's powerful. Yep. 'cause even if you have a therapist, you don't always have access to your therapist like that. But I also feel like, and I don't know anybody that has a therapist that'll sit there and listen to him talk for a hundred hours a month either, so we kind of all need somebody we can just really talk to.

But also, if you don't have that person, I think that our, our website is really good at that too, because even though I read as an ai, she's an. A trauma-informed AI for good, and she really helps people to get information that helps with the healing process. Like we, we've really put a lot of work into her programming her so that she is there if you don't have a person or if you're not sure who you can talk to, especially if you're the deep, dark depths of abuse or something.

Mm-hmm. She's somebody that you can talk to. We call her, she, because she's, she feels like a, a best friend, but she's somebody you can talk to, to just get that little bit of support that you might need for. For going through whatever situation you're in that feels real heavy and big. Yeah. And you don't have, you don't have that friend.

'cause not everybody has access to friends like that. And not everybody has found their person yet. Yeah. So, but Irene will be that for people and that's what I love about what we've created is. A way for everybody to have access to help no matter where you are. Yeah, no, I agree with that because everybody has, you can go to the library and use the, use the computer if you absolutely have to, but most people have a smartphone.

Yeah. All you need is internet access, and you can have access to something like that. But I think that's, I think you're right. I think it's really important for us to be able to have a place to just kinda let it all out. Well, if you hold it inside, it just sits there and festers. Yeah. And like, like something that is.

Going bad inside of you, and it just gets worse and worse and worse and worse. Yeah. You gotta get it out. Yeah. And if it's talking to your husband or talking to your best friend, or talking to Irene or talking to yourself Yeah. In the shower, ski it out. The more you hold it in, the worse it gets. Yeah.

Yeah. Because your body never forgets those things, and so if you can't get it out and process it, mm-hmm. That it's really hard for you to move forward. Yeah. And to move on and to heal. And I think a lot of what took me a really, really long time to heal was the fact that I didn't want to talk about it again.

Part of the upbringing growing up in these shove it under the rug cults, it is cult, sorry. The growing up in a structure like that and you were told you've gotta keep things to yourself. Culturally trained to keep things quiet, keep the secrets in the family. Don't talk to anybody about this. We don't want dad to get in trouble with it.

Yeah, I think that. In the environment that I grew up in, it's makes it really hard when you're constantly challenged to be quiet, keep things to yourself, don't talk, don't tell anybody. Sweep secrets under the rug. Don't want dad to get in trouble. You really become really used to just keep it all to yourself and the fear of retaliation.

The fear of, if somebody were to find out the fear of, you know, we have this. Blood is thicker than water mentality in those communities. Really, really, really hardcore. And you don't defy your family no matter what. I remember when I was called as a witness to testify in court against my dad, the amount of family members that came to me and were like, are you really gonna testify?

And I said, I'm gonna tell the truth. And they're like, right, so you're gonna testify against your dad? I said. I am going to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And they're like, right, so you're gonna testify against your dad. I'm like, do you hear yourself? So I, I had to get to that point where I was like, I am ready and willing to talk.

And it took me a long time, and I think that that is what took me so long to heal and so long to let go, is because of this, all of these reasonings in my life where I thought. I couldn't talk about it. I thought I had to keep it in, and I thought, nobody needs to know. I thought it's gonna hurt somebody if I tell somebody.

All the manipulations you were taught brought up. Yeah. You know, growing up being, as you were even brought up in this community, all the things that you were taught. It's so interesting how those things are just kind of hard to like break through because of that programming from such a young age. Yeah, and even today, I, there are family members that I know full well if they watch this, they are going to be so mad at me.

But I had to get to the point where I was like, this is, this is me, this is where I am, and I'm, I'm ready. I'm ready to talk. I need to let it go. I can't hold it in anymore. I just can't. Well, and this is your life. These are your experiences and this is how you've grown. Yeah, and I think where you've come from and where you are is beautiful.

I think it's amazing that you have over. Yeah, but that's okay. I feel like there's so much beauty in the messy sometimes because. Nobody's perfect. Life is messy for all of us to some extent, and so being able to go through the messy and just come out on the other side with this beautiful passion and this beautiful drive to make a difference in community, because you were raised in a community that was very different than the community that you're trying to create, right?

Yes. The community that you're trying to bring people back to where it's everybody supports everybody. If we just all come together and love and support each other, no matter what's going on. How beautiful will this world be again, because I feel like it was kind of like that at some point. I feel like when I was younger it was a lot closer to that 'cause we were raised without cell phones.

You know, when I was little, there was nobody had a cell phone. My parents would be gone. My mom would go to the grocery store and leave us all at home. And one time I cut my finger open and I needed stitches and my neighbors. Two houses down took me to the emergency room. You don't hear about that stuff nowadays 'cause you just call your mom and she runs home and takes you to the er.

But when I was a kid, it wasn't like that. It was like we relied heavily on the community. We relied heavily on our neighbors. I knew all of our neighbors growing up. I know about two of my neighbors. Now that's on me. That's my fault. The beautiful thing is, is there's a lot of people that are trying to do better.

Yeah. I don't, have you ever heard of Ivans inspired? Mm-hmm. Her name is Tiffany Wynn. She is so cool. She nonprofit organization, started out in Ivans, Utah, and it literally is just a, Hey, let's create a community. She has a team full of volunteers. She understands all of the issues going on in town. She talks to everybody about.

You know what we all need to do, make sure that every neighbor has, who knows who they're supposed to check on in case of a disaster. Mm-hmm. And there's like net, like phone tree things set up and everything. Like she just really just kind of built a structure for the community. It's so cool. Yeah. I love what she's doing.

So there's a lot of people that are trying to create that again, but to. Argue your point. I think that where we we're going from where we've been is gonna be better because even though, yeah, in the past there was some better forms of community, there was more bad than too. Yeah. Like if you look at the statistics, it's so funny 'cause people at home that are watching the news that think that they think the world is a bad place, have no idea that the crime rates arc.

Significantly lower than they used to be. Our children are significantly safer walking up and down the streets than they used to be. Like the statistics show that there were worse things happening then we just didn't know about it because didn't, it wasn't all over the news. We didn the news. News. Yeah, so we didn't have the internet.

We didn't have, I didn't know what was going on across the world because it wasn't at my fingertips to find out right now. Imagine the community that we can build now. Where we have the internet, we know what's going on in the world. And when that kid across the street something suspicious is going on, the neighbors are actually watching and paying attention 'cause they know that kid and there's so much more good we can do.

Yeah. If we just bring back the community plus the internet. Yeah. That's true. I, I, I agree with you. I think it's, I think I just, I'm so excited about what you're doing. 'cause I think it's so needed and I think that I. Sometimes I think about when I was a kid and I'm like, I wish my kids would've been able to be like, grow up in that time where there wasn't all these distractions.

But then we have to look at it, I think more like, okay, well they're not going anywhere. The internet and cell phones are gonna be around. Mm-hmm. Like no matter what we, we crave from our past, it's gonna be there. Okay. So what? How can we embrace it and make it a benefit? And that's kind of why we created Irene.

This trauma-informed AI is because there's AI that does some weird things out there, but then we wanted to be ai. That does good. Yeah, no, that's good. And we wanted to be able to create a way for people to have access to healing no matter what their circumstances are. And there's a lot that we can do That's good with it.

Yeah, there is. And thank you so much. I just love talking to you. I can talk to you for hours. It's so fun. But thank you for sharing your story with us and thank you for the impact that you're making in this world. Kindness and motion. NGO is where you can find her and her and see all the good that she's doing.

And if you feel so inclined, please donate goods or money or whatever it is to kindness, emotion, because everything that they're doing is so beautiful and so needed, and she's gonna make a difference in impact in this world. And I just can't wait to see the trickle down effects of your. You starting this two months ago and where you're gonna be next year, because I know it's gonna be beautiful and amazing, so I can't wait to watch it morph along the way.

Like I was sitting here even thinking about, you're talking about the website, and I was like, oh, that. There's some things there that need to be updated. It doesn't even give the full picture of everything that we're doing. The scratches, the surface. That's okay. Yeah, that's okay. I mean, everything is a, is a work in progress, right?

Like yeah, everything can change a little bit here along the way. It's all still doing goods. We have a lot of growing to do and we've got, but the part of it is there's so much growth that's been done in the last six weeks. I'm having a hard time keeping up and that is exciting. Yeah, that's an exciting problem to have for sure.

It's a good problem. Yeah. Yeah. So where else can they find you again? Facebook is kindness in motion on Facebook. Okay. We are probably gonna start utilizing the Facebook the most in posting kind of what's going on. Okay. It seems to be the platform where we get the best interactions and people that are following.

Are you on Instagram too, or just Yes. Like two posts on Instagram. Okay. We'll start doing better with that eventually. Well, yeah, so, but we, yeah, it's kindness and motion NGO on Instagram too. Okay. The, the Instagram page is kindness and motion ngo. Okay. Perfect. So find her, look her up. If you feel so inclined, please consider donating to her nonprofit 'cause they're doing beautiful, amazing work and helping us get back to community to where we can all be a support to each other in a, in a, the most beautiful and healthy way.

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast and God bless.