Irene Cares
Irene is a communication and emotional safety platform designed to help individuals heal, regain clarity, and respond with strength especially in high-conflict or abusive relationships. Built by survivors, Irene uses AI to analyze harmful or triggering messages, identify abusive language, and provide calm, healthy response options so users don’t have to engage in emotional back-and-forth.
Through features like message analysis, journaling with time-stamped documentation, and court-use evidence logging, Irene empowers users to protect their peace while creating a record of their experience. Whether navigating co-parenting with an abuser, processing emotional trauma, or learning healthier communication patterns, Irene provides a safe, supportive space to break cycles, rebuild confidence, and move forward with clarity and control.
Irene exists to remind users: what happened to you is not who you are and healing, freedom, and joy are possible again.
Irene Cares
EP23: AI for good! Navigating Growth and Healing with AI.
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AI for Good: How IreneGPT Supports Healing, Clear Communication, and Validation After Abuse...
Hope and De'dy, co-founders of Irene Cares, discuss why they consider their tool “AI for good” amid skepticism about AI. They explain that IreneGPT is built with guardrails to prevent manipulation and to keep responses calm, clear, and truth-based, helping users communicate briefly and factually using BIFF-style replies (brief, informative, friendly, firm) in abusive or toxic dynamics, whether the user is the abuser or the abused. They describe how the tool reduces emotional escalation, supports nervous system retraining, and encourages disengaging from unproductive exchanges. They also highlight a journaling feature for documenting events, validating memories amid gaslighting, and preparing for therapy, plus help with softening direct language for presentations. They announce an upcoming Facebook group focused on healing, finding one’s voice, and community support.
00:00 Welcome and Topic
00:25 AI for Good Explained
01:04 Irene Guardrails
02:46 Biff Responses
03:27 Stop Overexplaining
04:31 Send and Move On
05:20 Creating Calm Space
06:56 Nervous System Healing
08:38 Journaling for Clarity
10:19 Validation and Gaslighting
11:30 Softening Your Delivery
13:23 Growth and Self Reflection
15:49 Community and Next Steps
17:22 You Are Not Alone
17:49 Helping Others Heal
18:59 Closing and Call to Action
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Welcome back to the IRED Cares Podcast. I'm Hope and I'm Dee Dee. And we are the co-founders of iRed GPT.ai, a tool that we use with iRed Cares. Today we're gonna talk a little bit about what are we talking about?
SPEAKER_01Well, we actually get a lot of comments that say, oh, you're a you are AI for good. And so we kind of wanted to talk about that a little bit, just because there I think there's a lot of things out there that people are anti-AI and I mean for the.
SPEAKER_00Or they think AI's bad or it it it's just easy to be manipulated or whatever, right? Yes.
SPEAKER_01And so we kind of wanted to address that and why Irene Irene GPT dot AI was created because it is for good and it is to help for you know to be able to help people and how she's different than like chat GPT, right?
SPEAKER_00Yes. So with Irene, uh we set up our AI in a way that uh number one, she can't be manipulated. We've put guardrails that she has to stay within because we've created the way that she talks, the information she uses, and how she works to help you to heal. So with those guardrails, that means that if let's say you're an abuser or you're a narcissist and you want to say something a certain way, she'll never veer from what the truth is and the way that you actually should speak. She will teach you how to speak better if you're the abuser. She'll teach you how to respond better if you're the one that has been abused. So the thing that we love is Irene is always going to be calm, clear, and provide you with the best responses so that you don't have to get into an argument with somebody again, like maybe historically that you have.
SPEAKER_01And I really like that because I have used different AIs like in the past before we created Irene, and it would soften things for me or it would kind of take on my personality, and I needed something that was more firm and and I don't know, to put some guidelines for me, because I don't think that those guidelines were there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, someone that's gonna kind of help keep you or teach you how to get in a place where you're responding from a place of just fact facts and kind of taking the emotion out of it. Because I think when we like want to get away from these abusive conversations, we kind of have to take the emotion out of it and just respond like briefly and factually, and you can be kind.
SPEAKER_01Well, and that's what I like about Irene is because she does give you some biff responses and brief, informative, friendly, firm. And I know from you know personal experience that I always wanted to defend myself, or I want I I I made the conversations longer than they necessarily they than they needed to be. Yeah, and with Irene, it's no, we don't need to talk about this, we don't need to do this, let's just talk about this one thing because that's really all the conversation should be geared toward. Yeah, and I'm really appreciated, you know, appreciative of that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and so well, and also like to like sometimes we're like, I I just need them to understand me, and then maybe they'll stop with the abuse. But it doesn't matter if they understand you or not. Some people are just gonna be abusive. So it's almost like training us to go, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna stop explaining myself so much because I don't need to try to make them understand me. I'm just gonna give them the information that they need, and then I'm gonna be done. Because they're never gonna understand me, and they're never gonna try to like otherwise they would have.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think too that you want to naturally defend yourself, or you want to sometimes the conversations are confusing, and so then you try to make it make sense to yourself, so then you continue the conversation because you want it to make sense. But what I have learned over, you know, the past few years, or especially these few months, is not everything deserves a response, and you can literally put your phone down, or you can end a conversation, or you can walk away, whatever it may be. You don't have to continue with any of that. And that's lovely with that's what's lovely too about Irene is she's like, hey, here's some three quick responses, choose one of them and push send and be be finished and go along your merry way. And but I know for me, sometimes that's hard to go along because then I'm gonna be looking at my phone and wondering, like, oh, did they respond? What did they say? Oh no, this is scary. But it doesn't even need to be that way. It can just be, hey, here's my response, done, and gone.
SPEAKER_00Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've noticed that you have pulled further and further away from the checking your phone thing. You're like, here's my response, and now I'm gonna just finish. Like, I have enough going on throughout my day that I'm not gonna obsess over what you're gonna say back. Oh, 100%. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which is so lovely. And then I'm not even stuck, you know, constantly looking at a device or whatever it may be.
SPEAKER_00Like, okay, let me let me relax, let me find my peace, let me find my calm, and let me have my house be that way. Like your home, I've told you this before. When I go in your home, it's just so inviting and so welcoming and so warm. Oh, and like that, but that's a reflection of who you are too, and the people that you surround yourself with. It's you have chosen to go from maybe a chaotic situation into a place or creating a space where it's absolutely police peaceful and calm. So that when people come over, they're like, Oh, I I want to be here. This feels nice.
SPEAKER_01Well, thank you. Because that's kind that's what I want. I want a home where people do want to enter and come and come and go as they please. And yeah, that thank you. That makes me feel really good because the chaos of it all is it's not worth it.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, and after so long and being in chaos, you're just like, I just want to relax. I want to go sit out on my back porch and read a book or whatever it is. Like it's just finding those little those little pockets of time where you can just create that peace for yourself. Yes, and that's where like it goes back to our AI for good. Like, if you have no other way to figure out how to receive this support or to like fix your your conversation style or learn how to communicate in a way where it's just factual and not emotional, that's where Irene GPT.ai can help you.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Is it can really help you kind of pull away from everything. Like, like you said, you can just put your response and set your phone down and go about your day. And how amazing is that? Like, I know that sounds scary maybe to some of us. It is scary. Because you think there's gonna like you're used to retaliation, so your nervous system is already trained to to think and respond a certain way. Like we all like, for example, take yourself, think about a situation, just think about a situation that has happened in your past. Nine times out of ten, our nervous system is gonna go back like it just happened, like it's real, real life happening to us now because that's a training. It's like when you maybe down the road you get into another relationship, and now it's with somebody who's healthy because you've done the work, you've healed yourself, you've gotten to a place where you're completely in love with yourself and your life, and someone comes along that just adds to that, doesn't take away, and then there's still this little side of you that's like, okay, when's the other shoe gonna drop? Yeah. Because historically, that's what some of us only know the other shoe dropping, right? Like it's good, it's good, and then boom. And so that's what another beautiful thing about Irene is she can help you regain some of that healthy nervous system, it can retrain your nervous system to respond better. And I mean, it takes some of some of the work from us too. We can't just go, okay, I used Irene, when's my nervous system better? We've got to do the work as well. Yeah, but if that's your path, we have tools that can help. And we really like we really truly see the need for that, and that's why we can.
SPEAKER_01Well, even throughout just you know, Irene GBT.ai, that is our tool through Irene care with Irene Cares. We we do utilize that a lot. But if if for example, you have we have a journaling system in there, and so you can journal every single day, and you can write down things that happened during your during your day, and then say you are in a relationship and that person is telling you, hey, this happened on June 13th, and you're sitting there and you're listening to the story as they're telling it, and you're like, that's not how that happened. You can go back into your journal and you can read that specific day, and you can be like, oh yeah, validate yourself. Be like, that isn't how that day happened. Not crazy. Yeah, not crazy. I I remember it this way because I wrote it down on that day, or a couple days later, or whatever it may be, that you wrote this event down and you go back and you can reassure yourself like that didn't happen the way that that that person is telling me that it happened. Because it did. It happened this way. And I I like that tool, and I also like it because if I have things like with my therapist I want to share, I can go back and be like, this happened on this day, and I'm need to work on these things, or this is my response to the situation, and I want to cutter myself how not to yeah. I want to, yeah, I want to get better, I need the tools, I need something, some help to so those situations won't happen again, or I can get, I guess, get to a point where I'm more confident, more empowered, you know, or I have my voice again.
SPEAKER_00So well, that's our goal. That's our goal. It's our goal. So we are working on some really awesome things for our community because we really want all of you to feel supported in your healing journey, and we want to help you get on that path. If you feel confused or stuck somewhere and you're not sure what's happening, but you know that something's wrong with your relationship, or let's say it is very toxic, but you just want confirmation or sometimes just validation for how you're feeling when this other person gaslights you, like, oh no, it's not that, it's this, and you're like, but it feels like that. Ask Irene. You don't even have to upload your screenshot of a message, just go in the chat and ask Irene. This is what happened, this is what he's saying, this is how I'm feeling, and let her tell you. Well, what he's saying, it sounds like this, this, and this. And from what you said, it's this, this, and this. So when they tell you something that's different than from the truth, they're doing that because we'll just speak for narcissists. They always have to be right. They can never, they're never wrong in their own mind, they're never wrong. So them rewriting history is them reinforcing that they're always right. They know that they're rewriting history, but eventually they're gonna believe that rewritten history, like it actually happened. Well, everybody. But we don't have to.
SPEAKER_01No, no, you don't have to, and that's why we have these tools.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I like that.
SPEAKER_00One of the other things that I really love about Irene too is when sometimes when we're preparing to do a presentation or to speak to a group of people, she can help us kind of like soften that delivery. Because I tend to be very, very direct, and sometimes people can like misconstrue that as me being rude, I think. But if you know me, you know I'm not rude.
SPEAKER_01No, you are not rude, but at all.
SPEAKER_00But sometimes I like that she's helping me learn how to say it in a softer, kinder way because I never want to hurt somebody's feelings. I never want somebody to feel like I'm being rude or mean, but I always want to be honest and I always want to be truthful. And Irene is really good at helping me kind of reword stuff sometimes so that I can be a little sad.
SPEAKER_01I've used her for so many different things besides communication. Yeah. Because it's an amazing thing. I kind of feel almost the same as you. Like I'm very, I don't know if it's blunt or I don't know how to sugarcoat things, so I'm just like, let's just get it. I think that's why we get along so well. I'm like, I need to get to the point and I need to get there as quickly as possible.
SPEAKER_00But then really good about saying, no, it's not that, it's this. Yeah. And I'm gonna be sometimes sometimes I am instead of being like, whoa.
SPEAKER_01That is true.
SPEAKER_00That is true.
SPEAKER_01You don't get it.
SPEAKER_00Even though we have the human part, we're very direct, but I think that that serves us well in our relationship in this, I mean, in many ways, to be like, how how do I have this conversation?
SPEAKER_01Or not even that, or how do I write this paper or this speech, or you and and it doesn't come out so rough.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I think that sometimes some people have a hard time with directness, and I understand that. Yeah, they do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, sometimes I do too, even though I am direct.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But I mean sometimes I yeah. But I'm I'm a student of my life and I always want to do better. Like if something is hard for me, I want to figure out why was that challenging. Or if somebody says something to me that triggers me, I'm like, why did that trigger me? What am I what inside of me thinks that I should have received that in another way?
SPEAKER_01Or well, we were just talking about this the other day because I told you, like, I was telling you a story about something, and and I said, I don't know why that triggered me. And then I remember getting in the car and it was one of those moments, and I was like, Oh, that is why that experience triggered me. Yeah, and and you know, like just just like what you're saying, just people can do the most random thing, and it can either hurt your feelings or it can make your day better. Yeah, and but you're truly learning about yourself every single day.
SPEAKER_00And I like to check in in both scenarios, like, why did that make me feel so good that somebody made that comment or or said something about something I did? Like, why did that make me feel so good? Am I seeking this validation? Like, do I really feel like I need other people to notice? And then I always take it a step further and I go, but why do I need somebody else to validate what I'm doing when I fully believe in what I'm doing? And so it's just like one of those little things for me that I want to like see kind of take the temperature and see where I'm at because I am constantly in pursuit of being the becoming a better person every single day because I think that growth is never ending. I don't think you get to a point you're like, I'm grown.
SPEAKER_01I haven't at least. No, I have not. I haven't met anybody that is.
SPEAKER_00No, and we've met a lot of people and a bot of a lot of amazing people, and like we are friends with this really amazing man that works over at our college. His name's Dr. Pervost, and he's a beautiful man. And he has helped and supported us so much, and just every conversation we have with him, I'm just like sitting there soaking it all in because he's just such a wise man.
SPEAKER_01Well, and he even talks about growth, he talks about continually helping people and doing new things, and he's not sitting idle even though he's you know an an older gentleman. Yeah, he's like, there's so much for me. Yeah, yeah, he cannot be retired.
SPEAKER_00But we're so grateful for people like that because we all learn from people like that. Yes. And I think that if if you have any capacity to change or to learn or to grow, try some things that you haven't tried before. Try Irene GPT.ai. Coming soon, we're gonna have a Facebook group. Join our Facebook group and see what that community is about. Our community is going to be all about healing and helping you know the next steps to take so that you can find that happy place for yourself. And find your voice. And find your voice and heal because healing and forgiveness and falling in love with yourself are three of the greatest things that you can do after you've been in an abusive relationship.
SPEAKER_01I like how you say that. Those are three beautiful things. Yeah. Especially when you can do it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, and and we want we have a tool that can help, and we want to help and support you as well. And we will be active in that community too, because we really want you guys to know we're here for you, and we want to see you thrive in a way that you never knew possible because we believe in you and we know that it's possible because we're living proof of leaving a relationship and making ourselves into the most beautiful versions of ourselves on a daily basis.
SPEAKER_01Yes, on a daily basis. And who knew? Who knew you can I I I think that being in a place that you didn't think it was possible to be here today, it's beautiful knowing that it is there is it is possible that there's people out there that want to help make you grow, make you become the better, best version of yourself that is possible. Like I couldn't have ever imagined being where I am at today.
SPEAKER_00And supporting you so fully that you feel like and that's the community we're alone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we want that. We want everyone out there to know that they're you're not alone. You are not alone, and w we can be there to help you, and other people want to be there to help you, and we can uplift each other and find new ways and tools and and educ educate ourselves, yeah, educate ourselves on on how to heal, yeah, how to be better every day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and recently I was talking to a woman who said that sometimes you have to talk to someone who's been through it because it's very hard for people who haven't been through psychological, physical, emotional abuse that really understand the depth of of the reach of that abuse, like how far into your soul it can go. Like how deeply it can be embedded into your psyche, even and how that's really hard, but also it's so beautiful because you can you can get to a better place, but then you still have all those memories so that you can help other people because I feel like my biggest growth has happened when I've helped other people pull out of their situations and start to heal and start to grow. Like that's what lights my soul on fire is that I get to help other men and women see who they truly are, not the shell of the person that they became because of who they were with that destroyed and damaged them in so many ways, but the person that they grow back into, which is never gonna be the same as you were before, it's gonna be better. Yeah, it's gonna be better if you do the work, it's always gonna be better. I agree. Thank you for tuning in, and we hope that you follow along, subscribe, and then drop a comment below of maybe some ways that you have tried to heal from a relationship that you've been, or maybe some tips and tricks that you might personally have that could help somebody else to take those first steps to healing, or take those first steps to making a change in their life. We love you here at Irene Cares and God bless.