EP32: Safety First: Protecting Your Peace, Your Mind & Your Future | Irene Cares Podcast

In today’s episode of the Irene Cares Podcast, we discuss practical steps for protecting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being during difficult or high-conflict situations.

We talk about creating personalized safety plans, setting healthy boundaries, trusting your intuition, preparing emergency contacts and go-bags, and seeking professional support when needed. Whether someone is navigating a difficult relationship, planning major life changes, or rebuilding after hardship, this conversation focuses on empowerment, preparation, healing, and self-preservation.

This episode is about taking proactive steps toward safety, clarity, and peace — because protecting yourself is not weakness, it’s wisdom.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Today we're gonna talk about um safety first and planning for physical and emotional well-being. Oh welcome.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Yeah. I I I think this topic is really important because it's things that you sometimes don't even think like uh I mean you kind of think about it but you don't because when you have a partner or a family member, like you literally share a lot of a lot of things together. And so being aware being aware of it, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

I think safety planning could even be for like a disaster or for like when we live in California, it was like you were you always had a go bag in case there was a fire or an earthquake or something like that. So I think safety planning can be for other things too, you know, like like preparing things that you can just grab and go, and you can frame that if you're in it, if you're in a relationship and you're trying to work things out, but you're not quite sure where it could be going. Yes, because you can only control your side of it, like it's okay to start putting some things into place. And if you're questioned about it, just be like, oh, you know, I just watched this thing about being prepared, and I just want to be prepared in case there's a natural disaster. We need to go, we can have food and a change of clothes and like whatever it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Yes, I like that. We I was raised with I see. I mean, yes, I was born and raised in the state of Utah. So preparation, preparation is a very, very big deal. Yes, we have I have food storage that will last me and my family a long time, and I have water barrels, and I have my 48-hour kits and I have my suitcases. Like I I have been raised to be prepared for disasters, but like when we're talking about like our physical and emotional well-being safety, I that was never something I ever thought about. Like, yes, I thought, I mean, I guess physical with um you know the food storage and stuff like that, or like the girl go bag, but like, you know, your emotional well-being, I never I never even put that in the state. Yeah, but I think it's connected, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Because it's like if you know you have a way to like grab and go, especially if you if you feel like your relationship might be slowly escalating and you have thoughts of like I could get hurt or my children could be in a harm in harm's way or whatever it is, like how much better do you feel if you have all of that stuff ready? So if God forbid you have to, you can grab your ch children, grab their bags, and just go.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

And have something.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

Oh, something prepared. Or I know you um have these feelings too, like, oh, something might happen. You know, like if you continuously have those feelings, then yeah, be prepared, be ready.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

And and that's a way to kind of reduce your anxiety around that. Not that it's gonna change the person or their actions or what might be kind of causing you to feel that way, but it gives you this in the back of your mind, okay, I have what I need. If I really have to just get out of here, it'll take me 10 minutes to grab my kids in all of our bags and go. Yeah. Or less. Five minutes. I mean, yes. If you just have it, and even if you just put it all in one closet, like, oh, this is our closet by the front door where all of everybody's bags are gonna be, and then every six months maybe swap out some food or whatever, but have those go bags ready just in case, just in case. Yeah, whether it's an emergency or a personal emergency, you know, like a disaster or a personal emergency.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

How times are going right now. It's nice to have you just never know what's gonna be going on. So, yeah. So and you also feel more at peace when you have that.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Yeah, when like I said, it quiets little part of your brain that's like, uh, what am I gonna do if I have to?

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Because you're like, okay, I've done something to kind of ease that mental burden a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

That's just kind of what I was thinking, like at first when we were talking about this.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

So we go quiet.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Yeah, but I I think this is a good time for us to also say, like, if you're joining us and what we we say or you know, you there's some value there, click the follow button and follow us. And then also you can look in our link tree in our in our bio and see what else we're about and see what else we have going on. And and we would love questions. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

We would love any kind of interaction, um, any questions or like or anything that you have done to help yourself prepare for an emergency. Because I know like we're seeing, like there's so many different, it looks different for everybody. Like the way that I was raised, you know, you had your 48-hour kit and and there was food and a set of clothing and you know, water, like whatever, whatever it, whatever it was. But um like today we kind of wanted to touch on other subjects about you know, uh, your physical safety, like where are there some safe places to go, people who you who to trust, what is your exit strategy? Like, um, so we would love your feedback on all of that. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Because we want to we want to know what your fears are maybe around leaving, or your fears are maybe around being prepared or your safety. Like, because sometimes you need a list of your medications. So, like, you know, you can always look online and find a list of things to like throw in a bag to be prepared if you ever have a natural disaster or an emergency where you have to leave. Yeah, and I think that's a good place to start to give your you peace of mind, but then also what we talk about today. And so anything you guys want to add to that, we would love that for us to read and understand kind of where you're at. So, what does emotional emotional safety look like for you? Um being around people and in places where I feel safe enough to be vulnerable, I think. Like I feel emotionally safe around like obviously the my my husband and my children, but also like you. I feel like you and I have told each other real big deep dark secrets that we had, like about things that we've been through. Stuff that we probably wouldn't share publicly because it's very, very private. But that makes me feel safe when you open up to me because then it makes me feel like I can trust her too. So emotional safety for me is finding people near me that I can trust with you know, maybe some deeper heavy subjects.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

I like that. And I have to agree with you because there's some people that have passed through my life that I thought I was emotionally safe with them.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

You found out the hard way, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

And and that's sad. Yeah, it's hard. You learn you learn really hard lessons, like you you think that you can trust this person with every single thing, and then and then when you realize that that really wasn't an option, it makes me feel um like I can't trust. Yeah, and then your circle becomes smaller and smaller because then you don't want to allow that.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

I'm always sad when I find that out about somebody, yeah, that I thought I could trust, and then they show me that I couldn't, but like I learned the hard way. It kind of hurts my heart, like, wow, like that was more important than than than being respectful of my privacy and my like this thing I shared with them that I thought like we both understood was very private and personal.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

And now and and talking about privacy, um with this kind of like planning, like an exit strategy, there's things that are private that we put online, like like our documents or um whatever it may be. Like, okay, here's a here's um kind of something random that I'm just thinking about. Um go for it. That's location sharing. Oh yeah. Because that is very private and personal. And I think out there these days, especially I've noticed with kids, like their location sharing is almost public to everybody. Oh yeah. And that blows my mind how how you're like, here, I'm gonna give my location to every single new friend of mine that that I have. And or and I'm like, that's scary to me. And that it does not look like very good planning.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Well, it's the generation I think that we grew up in, like we had privacy. Like my parents didn't always know where I was when I was out with my friends and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

No, wait, my no, well, we didn't have that growing up. That's what I'm saying. Like my parents just believed us, like, this is where my kid, my my children are, and this is, you know, I mean, I do follow. Okay, let's backtrack. My my my kids do follow my location, and I have theirs, but but I don't share it with like very many people because that that is see, it's just wild.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

I like never I never knew where like my kids' location. I have one of my kids' location just because she rides her bike like around town, and I just it just makes me feel safe to know where she is, like when she would be at work or on her way home. I just want to make and it's more about like somebody not hitting her on her bike because she rides an e-bike, and so it's like I don't want her to get hit, and then like what you know, what if they don't know, can't identify her, whatever. So you like I want to know where she is, and so if she's late, I go and I quick check the map and I'm like, okay, she's fine. So like she we have each other's location, but like I never had my other kids' location because I always felt like I could trust my kids and like I wanted them to feel like I wasn't tracking them everywhere they went. I don't know, it just for me it was like a privacy thing. Yeah, plus honestly, we live in a very, very safe place.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

We do, we've we're very blessed to live where we live.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

Because I've lived in I'm from Southern California. I might attract my kids if we lived in Southern California, I'm not gonna lie. Well, but when we lived here, when we lived here, when we moved here in 2020, like I just felt like the longer we lived here, I was like, oh my gosh, like you don't see any crime. You don't see like very rarely are you seeing crazy things happening. Yes, I'm not naive enough to think that it doesn't happen in this small town. I know it does, but like it's a pretty safe little town that we live in. And so I would just I just never was like, I need to know where you are because I wanted to respect my kids' privacy in that way. But also I created a relationship with my children where they came to me with things, and if I like intuitively felt like talking to them about something, I would talk to them about something, and I think that like having that mutual respect, everything was just an open book with my kids, and so I didn't feel any reason to kind of track them.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

Well, with well, with like the this plan of like an exit plan, I think when it comes to location sharing, you need to be very careful with that. Yeah, because I had a situation happen to me personally that I had no idea that I was being trapped, my location, yeah, that I was being trapped. And um I had someone come to me. We were it was like a casual conversation, and this woman was like, Oh yeah, and I didn't know I was being followed or my location was being shared. And then she shows me on her phone how she found out, and as she was showing me, it was You're going on your phone. Well, yeah, yeah, because she was showing me on my phone because I was like, Oh, yeah, I don't share my location with anybody. Uh because this was a while ago, and I'm like, I don't share my location with anyone at all. Like that, I never had thought to, I never wanted to. And then when she was showing me how she figured it out, I was being my location had been shared, and I had no clue. And that is very you had no clue how long, yeah. Yeah, I had no idea, or how my phone this person had gotten into my phone, or how how any of that had even happened. So when you look in your phone, does it show you who's tracking you, or does it just show that you're yeah, but the way the lady had showed me, this was like a long time ago, and so I mean, no, don't quote me on any of this stuff. You know, like it could be different now, it could be different now, or whatever it was, but um, I had no idea who was, and now I'm more like vigilant on looking and checking and seeing if I've shared my location on accident or done, you know, like whatever it was. But I had been followed for a really long time, and and and it was really weird because like sometimes I would have a conversation with this person, and and like something would come up in it, and I'd be and I'd just kind of sit there with it for a while and being like, how do they know that? And and then after she had shown me, I was like, dang it, all like it makes sense, yeah. Like all of those conversations, yeah. And so with an exit strategy, like like look into stuff like that, like figure that out. Like, watch it.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

I mean you can find it all on Google. Like, like how do I see who can tell where I am or who's tracking my location? And like me, I don't allow any apps to track my location unless I'm in the app and I need it to. But I always do only while using the app, not all the time, because I don't want my location to be available all the time.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

Oh, really? Why? For the same reason you just said. Just kidding. Um, why do you think people ignore this digital safety? Because I know for me, I just thought it was all okay. Like, well, I mean, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

There's many reasons, but I think part of it is like the older generation might not understand how or why somebody would be doing that. Yeah. Like we're kind of in that middle area where we like know more than our parents know, but don't know as much as our kids know because we got we got all of this technology in the middle of our lives where our kids were born with it, you know. So I think that that plays a little bit into it. But also I think like we just we wouldn't track somebody just without their their knowledge. So I think that for me it it I sometimes default to like, well, people wouldn't do that. I mean, I wouldn't never do that to somebody. Yeah, but like that's kind of naive too.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Well, but also okay, you're saying you're married to someone or you have family sharing. All those people get that you're closest to that is in your trust bubble, I guess you can say they have all your passwords, they have all your usernames, they have, I mean, you're literally sharing. Or you store it on your save it on your save on your computer or your or your family knows your password to your phones, or they know, you know, and so they have access to all of that. But say you do feel like you're um something is being you're you're being harmed, or you need to get out of a situation, you also have to remember that you've been sharing that this personal information with somebody. And I think when you come back to that quick question, why do we ignore it? I think we ignore it because we trust these people and they have access to everything. And I don't know, I don't know where I'm going with that, but we just need to be careful with that.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

I think that when you're changing your situation because you are possibly in danger at home. So now you're like, okay, I need to like get away from this person or this situation. That's something that maybe the last thing on your list to think about is like, oh my gosh, they can read all my texts, they can read all my emails, or they have access to this or that or whatever it is. I think that the first thing you should do when you're trying to get out of that is change all your passwords to something brand new to you, brand new to everything.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

So that's change them frequently.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Yeah. But for sure, if you're leaving a situation, that day you need to change everything.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

Yeah. I think that would be smart or take people off of stuff, or I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

I I think it's well, and maybe now is a good time to think about like what are what are you sharing with other people? What who has access to everything that you have access to? Who you know, like ask yourself these questions now and maybe make yourself a little list of things to do and put it in your go bag or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

Yeah, like that. Or even make a book of even if you do change your username and passwords and you don't want to forget them, maybe be able to put something in your go bag so you know, so you can remember them.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Even if it's just a little piece of paper and you write down all your accounts and then every time you have a new one, you pull that piece of paper out and you like update it or you create a new one. Whatever it looks like for you to like stay organized and stay in a safe place so that you when you do get out, they don't have access to mess up anything for you as you're trying to get yourself to a better safe place. Yeah, preparation doesn't mean you're living in fear, it means you're protecting your future. I really like that. I like that too. Because we don't we don't need to live in fear. The things that we're talking about are always to like put you in a place where your anxiety can just be relieved because okay, I have done these things, so I feel like I'm I'm ready when it happens.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Yeah, hopefully it does have peace in your heart to know, yeah, because living in that and like the anxiety or the chaos of it is difficult. But if you have systems put in place, then you're not living in that chaos.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Like you do have like kind of a calm feeling because like your brain doesn't forget stuff, like you might not be like consciously thinking about it, but if you know you're in an unsafe place and there's these like you've made a mental checklist of the things that you need to do when you go, start checking things off that list that you can do and only keep things on that list that are for go time so that you are prepared, so that you do have that mental burden relieved for the most part. And pretty much all you gotta do is grab the kids, grab the bags, and go.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

Get out of there.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

I like that because everything in your house can be replaced.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Yes, it can.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

I've I've learned that.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

Yeah, it really can. And then soon, soon you're like, where did all of this come from? Because I had nothing.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

I took a vacuum and my clothes. Oh, and that was it. Yeah, and then I only took the vacuum because my mom had bought it for me. Like, I'm taking this. I was like, this is my vacuum. But I took and I mean my mom had given me a bunch of furniture and stuff too, but I was like, if it makes it so easy for me to just walk away to leave the cars, the like everything, yeah, guess what I'm gonna do?

SPEAKER_02 18:35

Yeah, make it easy, yeah. Make it easy.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

Because I need my clothes, so I have something to wear. And then I had a vacuum.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

I like that. I had my vacuum.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

So silly, but you know. Oh, I like that. Uh so let's see. Let's talk about um. We kind of checked off that. Sorry, you know, we made some notes because we wanted to stay on track.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

Because yeah, sometimes we tend to view it. Oh, this is and we're like, we need we need to know what we're talking about, or we'll just dab. We can gab all day long. We've already.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

So, like, some important reminders is that we all know that every situation can be very unique. So maybe what your friend is doing, it might look a little different for you, but there can also be a lot of similarities. So take advice from your friends and take some pointers from your friend who's very prepared. And then also, um, your safety planning should fit your reality. And then some people may leave quickly and others may need gradual preparation. So, again, you only you can decide what that looks like for you. So, so just kind of start thinking about it and maybe make yourself a little list of the things that you want to do to prepare to leave. Um, take what we're saying, if that helps you, but always just have some sort of plan because the hardest thing is feeling like you have to go and then feeling like frozen almost because okay, what do I grab? What do I do? And you don't want to forget something, and there's already enough burden there that you shouldn't have to go through this whole big long checklist of all the things to do. Make it make a note in your phone, or or like we were saying, like along with all those passwords and everything in your go bag, also make a list of all of the things that you need to grab when you're going. So you can unzip the top, grab your list, and then go through that list too.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Oh, I like that idea. Sometimes you don't have your phone nearby. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

So I that's sometimes you're afraid because they always have access to your phone. So putting that, or maybe you shove it down in the bottom of your go bag. But either way, it could you if they do find it, it's like, well, that's just a list of things that like we need to grab if you know if there's a fire, yeah, if there's an emergency, because it's gonna look the same.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

It does, it it does look very similar. Yeah, but pictures are a good thing too. Um what we're doing here, Irene Cares. Please subscribe and um and again, we would love any questions and feedback from any of you. Uh we want to be able to talk about content that people are needing, especially when you're going through such hard situations.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

And we're very community-oriented. We know that it takes a village sometimes. Even in your healing journey, you might need support, you know, from friends or family or people close to you. So, so whatever, you know, let's be our each other's community. We're here, it's a safe place for you to come and talk and express yourself and share the things that you're worried about and share the things that have gone well for you. Because we really want to focus on those things, you know. Like we all have our own story of struggle, but if we can just really focus on the things that help us to get to that next better place, because that's what we all really want is to find a healing place. Yeah, and find ourselves again after we've been in abuse of. Relationships.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

And then I like this one. Having a plan doesn't mean you've failed. It means you value your safety and your future. So look at it always from the positive. Like it's a way for you to have your stuff together so that you can leave when if you need to leave. But it's also a way for you can have your stuff together. So if there's a natural disaster, you can leave then too. So you could kind of look at them as the same, because sometimes it feels like a natural disaster if you have to leave. It does.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

It does feel that way for sure. Um emotional safety and support systems. So emotional safety matters just as much as your physical safety. Constant criticism, manipulation, chaos, or fear affects your nervous system. And that is true because you can almost feel frozen because of the situation you're in. So you can't see a way, see a way out or a better, like a better place.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

Almost like blinded by fear sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Or this is the life I chose. This is what I'm in right now. And this is I made this choice to be here. So I might as well stay here when you don't have when you don't have to. You don't deserve that. You don't need to. And so you can make a choice to make a plan to get out.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

And if it's hurting you, that's a big thing to look at. Because what you really should do if you're being hurt in a relationship, especially if you have children, is my children are watching this happen. And children learn from examples more than they learn from our words. So if they're watching you be abused, what are you telling your children? What message are you giving to your children? That it's okay. That it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Yeah. And it and it it's not for anybody.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

And and your health and happiness is just as important as your children's health and happiness.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

And and if you're struggling with not, you know, with getting out of that darker place, there are so many options. You know, there's therapists, there's life coaches, there's your community of faith, like there's your churches, um, church leaders, or even well, God, of course. There's God, God will be there always for you. And you can turn, you can turn to Him. And there's family members who've gone through it or friends who've gone through it that can help you, help you get out.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

Yeah. And if you don't feel like you have family or friends that will help you with that, because maybe they're in their own, you know, struggling situation. I think it's important to remember that there's advocacy centers there. There's women's group, there's women's shelters, there's there's all kinds of resources available. Like you can even go to the police op police station and go, look, this is my situation, and I have no idea what to do. What you know, what can I do?

SPEAKER_02 24:44

And I know here in Washington, where you know, where we live, um in our police station, there are advocates there. So just like you said, like, and I didn't know that. I had no idea. And um, I mean, the advocate that I have at our at our you know local station. Here in our here in our local station, she opened my eyes to so many different things because we do have like the Dove Center, you know, we do have places for people to go. And I didn't know of any of these things until she was like, hey, this is this is what what you can do, this is what you can utilize. Here are your resources. And I'm very grateful for her because they also show you, you know, how you can be prepared to get out of those situations. And um there's this, I can't even remember what it's called, that wheel, that wheel of dang it, I can't remember, but I truly thought that people who were being abused were only being abused physically. Yeah, I didn't know that there was other types of abuse. And she was able to sit there and explain to me all these different kinds, and then also help me learn how to calm my mind and find what you know, find means to get out. Like back to documentation and your phones, like where to store things, how to be prepared. And I'm very grateful for her. So if you're whatever community in or what where wherever you're at, there's so many different resources for you to get help. Um, and I know today we're just talking about like putting plans in place, but there's people out there that will help you put those plans in place.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

I was trying to find the wheel, but I couldn't find it.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

Yeah, I don't remember what it's called right now. I don't know why I drew a blank, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

It's almost like the wheel of abuse. I don't know, I know that's not what it's called, but it's kind of like that, like where it's like because it shows you like financial, religious, like yeah, there's all different ways that you can be abused, not just physically and I not just psychologically, because because financial abuse is a real thing where somebody can't spend a penny without it being tracked or questioned, why did you buy this?

SPEAKER_02 26:43

Why did you spend this much money or whatever it is, or and so that's also like maybe an idea of if you're able to put money in your grab bag. 50 bucks if you can, if you if if you're even able to find any money to be able to do that, yeah. So you know that hey, if I if I do need a leave, at least I know I have this.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

Yeah. Yeah, some way, even if it's like maybe on the on the down low selling some stuff on Facebook Marketplace or something. Download you like it. Don't let them know you're selling it because then they're gonna want that money.

unknown 27:22

I loved it.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

It's like I don't know why my man doesn't tell them sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

Yeah, so like just find a way to get yourself all of the little things that you need so that it's safe for you to go.

SPEAKER_02 27:42

Here's some ideas too for like emergency prep. You can store important documents, like you can have copies of things, um, medication, you can have some cash and extra clothes, keys, your charger, important phone numbers written down because I know chargers are big one. Yeah, chargers are big. And I was thinking about phone numbers. I can remember all my best friends and family members' phone numbers from like the 90s. I don't even I don't know if I have my kids' numbers even memorized right now. I know. So I would have to I would be this person that's like, what important phone numbers do I need written? I need it written down. I need to put it somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

I used to remember my phone number from when I was a kid, like when I was like seven, eight years old.

SPEAKER_02 28:27

I mean, I just haven't memorized. Yeah. But not anymore. It's not my because it's all in my phone that I don't feel like I need to memorize these things. That's kind of bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

And I used to memorize phones, phone numbers. This is kind of off topic, but I used to memorize phone numbers by the pattern that it made on the the dialogue. I remember the key. Okay. I'm a nerd, I know. No, you're not. I do, I I do too. Well, that just means we're both nerds. Yeah. Just kidding. Um, okay, so taking steps towards safety is an act of self-love. Every boundary, every plan, and every moment of clarity is helping build a safer and stronger future for you and your kids.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

That's great.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

So we want to kind of help you to understand like what we do. So if you're new here or if you haven't watched us much in the past, we are very focused on helping people who've been in abusive relationships or who have been hurt in some way by either a partner or a parent or someone in your life that has been close to you, close enough to you that you allowed them into your circle, but then they didn't honor or respect that, and they decided to start. And then in turn, whether it's psychological abuse or emotional abuse or financial abuse or physical abuse, all of them affect us in some way. So we are here to provide, we're creating a community where people can go to feel supported and their growth towards a better life. Because I know that the life that I've created since I got away from a violent situation is everything I could have ever dreamed of. And like I I have a partner that loves and respects me, and and he's my I call him my wise old Al, I call him my emotional safety person. He just is everything for me that I personally need. And I feel so blessed to have that that I want to encourage other people to find whatever it looks like for you. It doesn't necessarily mean getting into a relationship because I think that it's good to take time to heal yourself and fall in love with yourself because when you're in love with yourself, you never allow someone to do that to you again. And so I think it's good to take that time to heal, but I think it's also good to be open-minded to the the idea that there is somebody good out there for you because not everybody's gonna be like the person who hurt you. And if you get to a place where you really love yourself, then you're not gonna ever allow that in your life again. Like you'll be more comfortable being alone than being with somebody who's abusing you or hurting you.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

Thank you for sharing that. I agree. And and we are at here at Iron Carers, we uh want to build a strong community, and we don't want to have to be stuck in the negative. And and that is one of our biggest goals here is to uplift people and to get you to know like there's so many different options and you don't have to be stuck, and there's so much life to live outside of what had happened before. And we we would love you to join our community, we would love you to to be a part of it and to also help others because I know that for me helping others makes me feel so much, but you know, it just it's it's empowering. Yeah, it it is empowering, and also that people can um see a different side of I guess where where where they were. Like because sometimes you forget that you were worthy, you forget, you forget who you who you are and who you can become. And we want we want to help everybody get to that point in their life again.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

And sometimes when you're in this cycle and you just feel stuck in the stuck in this cycle and it's just continuing to happen, or whether it's like you're focused on what happened to you and how well, like, how could this person hurt me and I'm damaged goods or whatever story you're telling yourself, like it's not serving you, and you do you're like, I want to get out and I want to be better, but I just don't even know where to start. That's where that's that's what we're here for. We want to help you know that there's a way to start on that path to healing, and that there's that you're worthy of it. Like everybody's worthy to have the beautiful life that they've dreamed of when they were a little kid, you know, because we all have hopes and dreams when we're young. And I think that sometimes we forget about those when we get into a certain relationship sometimes, or we feel like, well, this is just how it is, or this is just how he talks to me, or this is just how he he this is just his personality. We kind of like excuse it away sometimes, just in a way. I think part of it's to make ourselves feel a little bit better about staying, honestly, but also like we're trying to see the good too, sometimes in somebody, even horrible people. We always are seeing the the good because that helps us go, okay, but there's good in there somewhere. Yeah, I could do something with that, but it doesn't matter if you can, are they willing to do something with that? That's the big question.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

At the end of the day, you ultimately need to take care of yourself in order to be having the best version of you. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

So yeah, because you deserve everything beautiful in the world.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

Yes, and we do have a newsletter, a monthly newsletter. So join that because we that that's also another thing that can be very we're targeting targeting, we're wanting it to be more uplifting and teaching and how give you resources on how to heal.

SPEAKER_00 33:59

Yeah, yeah, and and maybe a little insights here and there that kind of help you see something. I know for me, I like to listen to people who've experienced some of the things I've experienced because I like to hear like what it was that made them make it make a change or what it was that caused them to take that first step towards making their life better. Because I it gives us a lot of like insight into other people, but sometimes something someone says can resonate with us, and we can even just kind of even for a minute if we just have to hold on to what they said to give ourselves the courage to do the same thing for ourselves. So that's what like that's why we truly believe in this community and in conversations, because the greatest things that we can explore sometimes are through a conversation that we've had with somebody that just kind of like something they said just turns a light bulb on in our brain and helps us to see ourselves in that way.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Well, and thank you for being a part of this conversation, everybody. And um, I we're here five days a week. So if we are we're we are taking Friday to Monday off because we all need it with our family, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Some family time and some alone time, not doing chaotic, busy sports and all the things of the month of May.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

At least here, I know a lot of people have graduations and everything's happened in June, but here some of it happens in May. Yeah, it's been busy, it's been a busy month, so we're gonna take a little bit of a break. But if this episode helped you, please share it with somebody that you you know, or someone that may need it.

SPEAKER_00 35:39

Or if you're questioning your safety right now, check out Irene GPT and find out, you know, upload a com upload a text message for her to analyze and see is there abuse happening? Can this kind of open my eyes a little bit to like give a name to what's happening to me? Because sometimes when you feel unsettled and you feel like there's something wrong and you just need a little bit of an answer to see, like really understand what that is, she can help you understand that. And then she can also help you better your communication too. And as always, we just really care about all of you and we love our community, and we're so grateful that you all tune in and listen to us. And we just hope that you have a beautiful weekend and a wonderful Memorial Day, and everybody stay safe and God bless.