EP38: From Survival to Alignment: Carrie Crane on Healing Trauma, Rewriting Patterns, and Self-Worth

On the Irene Cares Podcast, Carrie Crane shares how early trauma, an emotionally unavailable and abusive home, and becoming a mother at 15 shaped lifelong patterns of seeking love, people-pleasing, and survival mode. She describes placing her second baby for adoption at 17, pursuing nursing to prove a principal wrong, and later recognizing destructive relationship cycles, including severe abuse and partners’ addiction and infidelity, after her son confronted her bruises. Carrie discusses healing through self-love, boundaries, and shifting from victim to creator, along with tools like her “five T” trigger framework, nervous system regulation, and the power of language. She explains foot zoning as a mind-body-spirit alignment practice and outlines her work at Reclaim Wellness in Richfield, Utah, offering coaching, peptides, genetic testing, and holistic health support.

00:00 Judgment To Awakening

00:13 Meet Carrie Crane

01:16 Teen Mom Reality

02:22 Chasing Love And Safety

07:18 Victim To Creator Mindset

08:41 Body Image And Eating Disorders

11:46 Triggers Truth Transformation

14:47 Healing In New Chapters

19:42 Words Worthiness And Faith

21:52 Self Love Boundaries And Patterns

32:03 Childhood Abuse And Survival

35:23 Fifteen And Becoming A Mom

36:29 Proving Them Wrong

37:40 Midlife Peace Shift

38:07 Religion Love And Trauma

41:54 Mask Versus Spirituality

46:16 Trusting Intuition

49:45 Nursing And Fixer Roots

52:19 Survival Mode Inside

54:11 Healing Through Water

56:19 Abuse Pattern Wakeup

57:39 Foot Zoning Explained

59:35 Breaking Relationship Cycles

01:10:25 Control And Alone Time

01:11:52 Human Design Hermit Time

01:13:58 Goat Ranch Life

01:14:31 Goats as Land Managers

01:15:40 Reframing Life Events

01:18:16 Health Narratives and Diagnosis

01:20:13 Identity vs Feelings

01:21:35 Affirmations That Stick

01:25:05 Broken or Patterned

01:29:48 Coaching Approach and Identity

01:32:50 Small Changes Big Shifts

01:37:29 Burnout in High Achievers

01:40:23 Intuition vs Survival

01:42:48 Faith Feels Better

01:48:19 Daily Alignment Routine

01:53:03 Reclaim Wellness and Wrap Up

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Oh my gosh, I'm living the life that I judged other people about living. I did. I had judgment on other people. And I'm like, how do they stay in something like that? That is crazy. I didn't even see it when I was in it. Welcome to the Irene Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

And today we have with us Carrie Crane. And she's going to share with us her story. And so let's get started. Sweet. Welcome, Carrie. Thank you. It's fun to be here. So have you been on podcasts before? I have been on a couple, yes. Okay. Yeah. And what's your been your favorite part about podcasting so far?

SPEAKER_01 0:34

I don't know if I have a favorite part. I'm a really funny person when it comes to favorites. I have favorites in the moment. I don't have a favorite forever. Yeah. So um but I think getting to share my story, hopefully inspiring somebody else to do the same. You know, there's so much healing and being able to speak about your chapters and then, you know, open them and close them as you know you desire and and and for the benefit of others and then their healing journey. So I think that's the biggest I would say, I was to say I have a favorite. That's your favorite part.

SPEAKER_03 1:03

Yeah. I love that because I think that's very true. And I think like earlier we're talking about vulnerability and just being authentic. And that's what we strive for, and you align with that. So this is going to be beautiful. I can already tell. So awesome. First question I want to ask you is if I met you at 17, what would I have seen? Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

So um most of my high school life I've spent pregnant. So my I had my first baby at 15. And my second baby, I actually had right after my 17th birthday. I was living in Logan at the time. They have a school there for unwed moms. And my little boy was able to go to school or preschool or whatever daycare in the basement. And then I went to school. And then I was also able to get my CNA while I was there. Um and I my baby that I had there, I placed for adoption with a family there in Logan. And then we moved back home. So if you met me at 17, I was just coming out of that phase and um was finally getting a little bit of a high school life. Um not much because I was still a mom. Yeah. And um, and yeah, so anyway, that's where I was at.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

Okay. So what was going on beneath the surface that nobody else could see?

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Looking back and from the lens of myself now, what was going on then? It would have been patterns that I mean have been a cycle up until I mean, and probably just a couple of years ago, of just trying to find somebody to love me. Um live I my my father, I lived in an emotionally unavailable home. I mean, unless the emotion was chaos and abuse and being mean, um, but zero emotional availability. My mom was forced out of my life at four. And so I was adopted by my my um stepmom, who is a phenomenal human. She really is. She's an angel on this earth. Um, but her and I did not did not get along until I was 15 and had the baby. She was never able to have kids of her own. So um having that baby in the home was like a really cool thing for her to experience and her to, I mean, she was so supportive. And she is the reason that I'm successful today, as far as being able to. I I would have never been able to do that alone at 15. And she was she was she had my back on all of it, but it wasn't until 15 that we had that relationship. So um, so yeah, those patterns of just wanting to be loved. And you found found a guy that was like, Yeah, I'll love you. And then also there's a lot of church background too, you know, like you're intimate, you're stuck with that person for I mean, you need to be with that person, right? You're living in sin, get married, get married, get married. Um, so there was also some of that too. Um, and I mean, and my my oldest boy was conceived on the first time in intercourse, and it was a planned pregnancy, and it was to get me out of my house because of the abuse that was going on there. And anyway, because that's how you think when you're 15. Yeah, you don't, you don't, and you have an 18-year-old guy that's sitting here saying all these things, and you're like, Okay, okay. Well, he knows because he's older. Right. And so, and I mean, you know, and maybe he did think he was saving me. I don't know. You know, I ended up in a foster home right after that and was pulled away from him, which was helpful. I mean, probably the right thing to do with a 15 year and 18-year-old, you know. And you know, my parents and everybody wanted me to place him for adoption, but it was the first time in my life I'd ever really felt love, like other than animals. I grew up on a farm, I had all the animals and those types of things all around me. Loved, loved, loved that. Um, however, like to hold a little human and feel that love, you know. And the I remember the LDS social worker telling me, it's just baby doll love. Call me in a week, we'll come and get him. And I was just like, and my mom was so upset, you know. And anyway, but so we we took him home despite my dad, you know, screaming and yelling. And that was the first time somebody actually suffered me in my entire life that I can recall. Yeah, is when she said, if you don't like it, you can leave. She's bringing the baby home.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

So for for the first time I feel loved and someone has my back. Yep. On the same day.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

On the same day. And it was like, I mean, literally, when you I I mean, I don't ever recommend this that a 15-year-old has a baby. I don't recommend that by all means. However, for me, it was the path that I needed to have in order to, I mean, for where I'm I'm at now. I am very goal-oriented, very driven that way. I made an adult decision. I needed to, you know, that's I went to to Logan because it was the only program in Utah that would take me before I was 17. I was 17 when I, you know, was done with the program, and so they let me in, but it was the only one in Utah.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

And then it just happened my uncle lived up there and he knew a family that needed that was really wanting a baby and and all of the things. So, but yeah, it's it was, it was just chasing that love, wanting to feel loved, and then not even understanding what love was.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

Yeah, you know, just knowing there was an emptiness and it felt like love was part of that missing piece that you didn't have.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

Right. Because I've always loved big. Yeah. My entire life, I love big. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

I feel that. So I feel that I love big, but I feel big too. So I feel like even small emotions for other people to me are this big. Right, right. So I guess I understand that a lot.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 6:39

But you don't realize that when you're 15.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

No, no, you don't. And like it didn't make any sense. All of the sense it made was the information I was being given. Um, and I wasn't taught any differently. I mean, I was a kid that was just pushed out on the farm and like, go play, do your thing. When you hear dad whistle, come in for lunch. When you, you know, go in for lunch, get back in the truck, go out to the farm. We hear dad whistle, it's time to go back home, you know. And we were creative, we had fun, we learned how to work. I mean, I have an amazing work ethic and drive because of it. I have so many blessings from all of my experiences growing up, and there's just a lot of things that I didn't learn.

SPEAKER_03 7:17

So, yeah, but I love what you just said though, that you're you know that all those things that did happen in your life were for your benefit. And we talked about this on the phone when I talked to you the other day, is like you can look at everything as it happened to me, or like you like to say it happened for me, because you can be a victim of it or you can learn from it and use it to grow into something else.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Right, because the opposite of victim is creator, yeah. And I can't create the life that I'm desiring if I'm still stuck in in victim. I love that. Right. And so, yeah, are we a victim of our circumstances? Absolutely, sometimes. And we need to process that for what it is, but if I'm gonna stay there, I'll never be able to create.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

Yeah. So yeah, and when you see people that are really struggling and really having a hard time, it's because they are stuck in that spot.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

It is, it is, and they want to can I mean, and sometimes there's a secondary gain to stay there, right? We see that with physical pain sometimes. Like, I don't want to get rid of the physical pain because then maybe somebody will stop taking care of me or they will love me. I mean, we hear all the dynamics. I mean, when I was used to work with Didi, you know, like we heard it all. And the secondary gains are a huge thing to stay in that victim mindset, you know. Or it's comfortable. It is, and it is a programmed thing too. Another, another programming. Yeah, seeing mom's sick, and I saw all of that's just what my dynamic is, right? That's all I know.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

I mean, my grandma passed away from obesity at 65. Um, I just got my genetic test back and back, and I have eight of the genetic variables, um, both from my mom and my dad for obesity. And I've known my entire life that my grandma passed away from. And my mom, you know, has has struggled with her weight on and off for a long time. And I mean, and my dad was just a jerk about it growing up. Like, he's like, you eat another, the only one pancake for you. One, you know, my brothers are having a couple or whatever, but you can't be fat like grandma Chris, you know, those types of things subsequently led to eating disorders in my 20s, you know, and actually getting hospitalized for them. And I mean, but all of that like also rooted me into a passion space for fitness and health. And I mean, again, I didn't learn a lot of like what I know until you know, until my later 30s and those types of things when I was actually able to jump out of survival mode for a minute and be like, okay, what's a healthy way to do this? Yeah, you know, so all of again, how's it all happening for me? I can relate a lot differently with people that have an eating disorder, right? I can call in a client and be like, okay, I might know I'm not exactly like what you feel like, or but I I can tell you I have a story that relates to that a little bit. And then all of a sudden I've created rapport with a client.

SPEAKER_03 10:03

Yeah. So I can I I get it because that's one thing too for me, is like when I when I meet somebody who hasn't experienced some of the things that I have, and I'm trying to talk about it with them and they just can't quite grasp it. It's very hard to like connect like that. It's very hard to trust, even I think to a certain degree, because you're like, but you've been in shape your whole life and you've never had a struggle with your weight or whatever it is. It makes it a little bit easier if you feel like the person that's trying to help you understand a little bit where you're you're coming from. Because a lot of times it's here more than you were.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

And and and being with somebody that kind of gets it, even if it's like your eating disorder might be a little different from theirs, like you get it. Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

You get the there's something that created that cycle somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

No matter what. Like now we can talk about that. Yeah. Let's get to the root cause. Yeah. Because that's where healing, that's where healing starts, right? That is, I mean, I mean, my biggest thing is is like healing is finding purpose in the pain. Like that's I mean, I have a whole program called Purpose Driven Coaching. Purpose-driven coaching. This is me also. I have a little bit of a super excited and talk super fast. That's okay. Um, but yeah, so finding your purpose from some of that. I mean, and it doesn't have to be physical pain because there's physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain that we all, every single one of us can land on. I don't care who you are.

SPEAKER_03 11:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

There's probably somewhere that there's a trauma related.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

Yeah, everybody has trauma. Yep. Even the most what we think could be the most perfect scenario, there's going to be trauma because life is just crazy like that. And everything affects each of us differently.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

Like for me growing up, a lot of times I would feel things very big, and people around me would be like, stop overreacting, stop acting, like, stop making being dramatic. Like these kinds of words would be used towards me. And I then I always felt like I'm just a dramatic person, but inside I'm like, I don't feel like I'm being dramatic because I feel all these things as deeply as I'm expressing. Right. And so it's it was kind of hard sometimes to like really express myself because I always felt like I was being too much.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Right. The too much thing. I get I've had that a lot too. And that's interesting because even when somebody says too much, that ends up being a trigger. All right. And every time we have a trigger, I call it it's a thing I teach as a five T philosophy. Um, we have ever whenever we are triggered, there's a trauma related to that trigger. And that usually will send us into the spiral. And the only way out of that spiral is the third T, the teacher. What is this teacher? Or no, sorry, excuse me, is the truth. What is the truth in this? In this moment, right here, right now, what is the truth in this trigger? Or, you know, we're not to go, we don't have to know where the trauma came from. We just know that we were triggered. Yeah. So what's the truth? The truth now becomes my fourth T, the teacher. So the teacher now is teaching me, is there any truth right here? If not, then like maybe let's make a new narrative from here forward. And then that's where my transformation happens. But I have to get clear on what I want, not what I don't want, because my subconscious will always go back to the default. It will only hear, it doesn't ever hear want or not, don't want. It just hears whatever it is that we're talking about. After that, yeah, yeah. So we gotta be really careful about what's going on in our brain because our subconscious is constantly like, well, yeah, I've got a narrative from like 1986. Let me pull that little sucker off this shelf and I think we got some real data here. Yeah. We jump clear back to that stupid old narrative, you know? So anyway, so it's it's again, it's those transformation processes happen when I'm ready to take that old book off the shelf and put a new book in its place.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Oh, I like that. So it's good. I like I like that visual of the books, switching the books out because we talk a lot about how you what you focus on comes to fruition in your life. And so it's kind of the same with reading books too. Like if you read a certain book over and over and over again, you can't help but start to adopt some of those things in that book.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Right. You can see yourself being a character.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, and then you're like, this is my favorite book. It's all about me. You put it back on the shelf where you get to be a part of a new book. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

Yeah. My my son, the one I had was when I was 15, he's actually um, we're half and half business owners, and he's a subconscious reprogramming coach. And that is his like his whole theory is based around that we have a library, and we have this cute little librarian that likes to like, she's really cute, but she's also a hoarder. And so, and she's got books and books and books and books, and so and she will pull them off the shelf. And he even uses the analogy from Harry Potter where he opens a book and is like screams and you hurry and shut it. No, I don't want, I don't, and then put it away, and then we don't ever really deal with it because it was such a you know, yeah. So it's kind of fun when you can start using some of that. And again, like I view my life in chapters. I can go back, that's what I'm doing today. If I open up one of those chapters, I get to close it again. I mean, it's not something that I need to have any emotion tied to because if I still have emotion tied to it, there's still healing that gets to be done. Yeah. So and right now it's just information I'm sharing with people.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Yeah. So yeah, I like that too. Gosh, I'm gonna say that a lot, I think. I like that you just kind of like bring a picture to the things that you're you're working with because it's that simple. I think people like try to I was reading, I think it I read it in your bio. Um people try to like make it so you have to do things a certain way to process. But I think that some of us who are more creative can process in many ways. Absolutely, and so we can actually figure out what works best for us as an individual and work through it that way instead of doing it by checking the boxes on the list of this is how you heal. Right. Because there is a list.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

People think that it's like this is how you heal, but there's so many ways to heal. Right, and we're all individual, yeah, and our perspective is different, absolutely, and our experiences are different. So, what would help you wouldn't help me. I was raised in a home where there there was emotional support and love in my home, and I did feel loved and and all of those things, but I still had my own little traumas. Right. And it's not I don't ever think that when I talk about trauma, I think about like my experience with it and then my um ability to move through and heal from it. Because that's all I can do with it. Absolutely, absolutely I can't go back and rewrite it.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 16:31

But I can write the next chapter and have it look different for me in the future.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Absolutely. And I mean, and some people will have, I mean, what I went through, the, you know, they might have a similar response to something much lighter, what we would view as lighter, you know, maybe somebody being mean to them on the playground, but our body still has the same response, right? If she's never had anybody be mean to her her whole entire life, and now we've got this this little punk that's you know saying naughty things to her or mean things to her, that's super traumatic for her. Where my first really gross trauma was at four years old that I can recall was at four years old, that doesn't mean that they're any different as far as what how it's stored in our body. Yeah, how you process it. It is, and it's just that it is processed. And then again, is there emotion still tied? If there's still emotion still tied, there's still work to be done.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

So yeah, and that's a great thing to to point out to people too. That because I've had that those thoughts like I'm struggling with something, and I'm like, why am I still struggling with this? I thought we worked through this, I thought we were better, I thought, I thought this was gone. Yeah, but then it shows up again.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

And it's just an opportunity for you to readdress and do something with it again. Yeah, and I had that.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Yeah, and I had that happen when my little granddaughter turned four. Um, I hadn't I had done the work, I could talk about it, I was good, and she turned four and another layer was opened. And it gave me the chance. Now, this might make me emotional because I love this little turkey so much, but she has allowed my inner child to finally be healed from a whole nother view. I have loved that little girl like I wanted to be loved. I get to be experiencing life with her like I wanted somebody to do. Like we go out to the ranch and we play with the goats, and she's helping me plant the garden and she's doing all of these things. Or I just, I mean, I might have got to play with the goats, but I never had a grandma that was doing that with me or a parent or anything like that. I was just off to emotion.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

Or the emotions involved with having a parent or doing it with you.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

Absolutely the feelings of it, yeah. Yeah. And she's like, so we got to what I mean, like she can walk you through the whole process in the garden and what you know, how it needs to be watered and the different layers of the dirt and the composting. And like she can talk about all of that. I don't even know the word composting until a couple years ago. You know, and I grew up on a farm. So anyway, but it's just fun and it's precious. That now, like I I tell my son all the time, I'm like, she's the best gift. Not and I have I have a handful of grandsons too. They're flipping amazing. But I and I raised all boys, I was raised with all boys, so I know that, but I know that she didn't come until now because I wasn't ready to heal that inner child until now. Yeah. And she's five now.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

And how beautiful that she didn't have you, but you also have her to help heal those parts of you that you didn't realize were still needing that healing. Absolutely. And that you could just show up as a beautiful, wonderful grandmother for her, and that can heal you. Right. And I think that's beautiful. It's so you don't have to be broken to heal, that you can heal from wherever you are and just take yourself to just that next level level better.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

So cool. Yeah. And I I know. And the thing is too, is I like broken is such an overused word. I it's one, and I I even had a discussion with this about my, you know, a pastor once. I'm like, I I cannot, and I'm not gonna, I'm choosing not to sing the songs that say I'm broken. I'm not gonna own that. Yeah, my subconscious believes it if I'm singing it. I mean, that's a high vibration. Sure. Like, why would I sing that song? No, I'm gonna stop singing when it says broken because I don't believe it at all. Not anywhere in my soul do I believe I'm a broken human. I don't think God thinks I am either. I I think you're right. So anyway, it's kind of a it's fine, kind of fun to start like pushing some of the you know, the language, because words matter. Oh, they're so big. So big. Yeah, you know. I mean, I used to do a whole like lecture on words and the power of words and you know, even the power of the F word, like you know, and how people can have so much of a I mean, a whole response to the F word, and it's like it's just a word. You just gave it all the power and it took away from an experience that could have been so fun for you because somebody said it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

And it's just a word, but it it's the same thing with anything, right? Like you can let anything hijack anything from you, like it's it's so so much a mindset because I feel like I've and I've always told my kids this too, is like what you say about yourself and to others does matter because everything has energy. And like you're saying, those high vibration uh singing is a high vibration, like things that are high vibration, why would we add anything negative to it? Because now we're just like that feels so conflicting. Right. Like you were saying, like singing about being broken.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

What?

unknown 21:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

I mean, and the I mean, and I've heard like even some people say, Well, I can't listen to country music, it's so sad. I'm like, turn it to where it's talking about yourself if it's a love song. No, because that's really if it's if it's hard to hear, it's because there's still a part of you that's not ready to love you. But when we start singing those love songs as if they were singing them to ourselves, it changes everything.

unknown 21:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

Yeah. So and that's one thing that is big for me is uh through all my experiences when I really made the big, big Big turn in my life was when I fell in love with myself. I took time away from dating and all the things that like the patterns we just talked about. And I was like, I'm gonna just love myself. And once I started to love myself, I didn't allow things in my life anymore that I used to be okay with.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

Right.

unknown 22:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

And that was very eye-opening to me.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Yeah. And I've been that's kind of funny because like January 1st of this year, um, I have an amazing like best friend in my life. Um, we went like we were high school sweethearts, and he just came back into my life in August. And he's just he's just a really healthy, safe, masculine energy. And anyway, we had a little bit of a disagreement on New Year's, and I have had a manifesting my partner essentially, nope, in my in my phone. It's just under notes. And I had like 23 different little um bullet points on it. And I went back through and I started reading it and I shared it with him, and you know, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, but on January 1st, I was like, okay, like I sat down in some like deep meditation because there was just still so much conflict going on inside of my soul. And I said, okay, what do I need? And it hit me. You have to be her first. And so I copied and pasted that suck, pasted that sucker right into Chat GBT and I said, flip the script. I need to be her if I'm gonna call in that energy. And January was a bit of a rough month because I got to sense like new exposures of myself, but it was so flipping beautiful, and like I know the energy that I'm calling in now, and if you don't match it, you get to leave. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I don't, I mean, I'm in a secure enough space, like that I can say thank you, and it was awesome. And it's been fun, it's been great, but yeah, now I'm but maybe our alignment's just not that right now.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

Yeah, so but yeah, and that's hard when you look back at who uh like people pleasing or all the things that you used to do to feel like if I do all these things, people will love me. And then you go to the you step into the well, if you don't love me how I am, then you don't deserve to be a part of this. Right. Like so different, like even the feeling of those two things is very different.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 24:16

But then when you feel the power of saying this and people seeing you say this and respond to you saying this with respect and love for you that you've just realized that you have for yourself now, it changes everything. Right. Everything looks different, everything feels different, and people start coming to you with different energy too, because they're like, oh, she won't put up with that. So I can't come with her like that because she'll dismiss it.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Right. And we had a whole conversation about that with boundaries because how a lot of us are super uncomfortable, like to enforce them, like you know, and how one time all it takes is just saying, Oh, it's okay, I'm gonna bypass my boundary this time.

unknown 24:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

And then all of a sudden, they're all gone. They're all gone. And then you're right back to where you were at, and you're like, wait, how did we get back here? You know, so anyway, but it is like we're and we are pattern people pleasers. Most of us, especially growing up in an LDS culture where we were programmed around service, is the only way we received joy. At least this was my experience with the LDS religion, and I still I still view myself as a Mormon, you know, those types of things. I've been through the temple, I've got a whole story there. Um, however, I had more trauma in relation to what a lot of those principles were, especially like the worthiness being outside of myself versus here. Like somebody else tells me I'm worthy to go to the temple. What? Like I should be between me and God, you know, not me, me and the whoever the bishop is, you know. So anyway, at least that's my philosophy. I um I'm pretty passionate about like who gets access to that energy, and my self-worth is my self-worth. Yes, you don't get to tell me. Yeah, so anyway, it's kind of interesting. It's called self-worth. Yeah. Yeah. But interestingly, worthy. Yeah. I mean, it's that's been overutilized in the LDS religion of you have to be a certain way. I have to give you money, I have to, and so all of a sudden now in order for me to feel worthy, I'm giving money, I'm giving my time, I'm giving all these things in order to feel worth. Yeah. And another pattern shows up, or four or twelve or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

Yeah. Yeah, that's it's I like that. I like that that like because I've kind of had a similar, like, I don't know what if I want to call it an awakening or something, but just to where like I used to feel a lot of guilt and shame. And maybe it's now that I'm 50. I don't know. Now that I'm getting older, I realize like, no, I get to like I get to decide if I feel these things. I don't, it's not like because of whatever other people have told me, I inherently feel this way when I do X, Y, and Z. Because I'm doing it wrong, or whatever, whatever that language is that we like hold on to or grab onto, or that's even like taught to us that we just think is just right because we trust the people who are teaching us. Right. But I think that it's beautiful when you can realize like how because I have a very intimate relationship with my heavenly father that no one will ever understand. Right. I'm gonna get emotional because it is so beautiful to me that it looks different for everybody. Absolutely, like, and I I never really like realized that until recently, but it looks different for everybody what your relationship like is like with God.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

And once you realize that his love isn't conditional, it isn't based on worthiness, and it isn't based on all of those things that because I've always I've always uh tried to love my children like I feel like Heavenly Father loves me. So, like when my children have made mistakes, I'm not raging and telling them they're a bad person. We're talking about it. Like, you know, why did you do this? Why did you make this decision? And why do you think it's wrong? Or why did you know? And we would talk through things, which gave my children a level of I think respect and trust for me, that they would come to me with big things that I probably would have never talked to my parents about. Right. Because it didn't feel like they would understand. And for me, like finally getting to the point where I know that my relationship with God is this beautiful relationship, and he loves me and he's proud of me, and he loves that I I do things like this podcast to give people a voice and to share that voice with other people that need to hear it so that they can start taking those steps to feel whole and loved again.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Right.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

Because what is this world if we don't feel whole and loved?

SPEAKER_01 28:54

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 28:55

We're not here to be miserable, we're not here to suffer and struggle, we're not here to be better than Susie or Johnny, we're here to be our best self. Yes, yeah, and when you can finally get there, like it just changes the way you see everything. Absolutely your experience as well.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

Yeah, and I and I think too, like for me, like and the rock bottoms when you're all alone and it's dark and you're sad, the one constant that's always there is that. Yeah. And for me, I didn't have a healthy dad growing up, and I still don't have a healthy dad. And for me to know that my divine father, Heavenly Father, whatever we want to call him, right? Um, God, um is that masculine, is that safe place, is that like, and he he'll surround you in the sun. He'll surround. I mean, all of the different ways that he gets to hold you, or you don't get physically held by that here in this world. I it's it's just yeah, for me, that's what it's been is there's something much bigger outside of myself that is safe. Yeah, and it's always always it's always there, it feels safe. It's always there. I mean, and if I close my eyes and I ask them, I mean, him to hold me, I feel held. Yeah, I love that. So I love that, especially when you're in like the darkest parts of that's been the only thing, only way you want to wake up the next morning is by knowing that there's something much bigger than you.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

Yeah, yeah, and I I've always wondered how people do it without God or source or whatever people call it, having it something that they know is there for them. Because like just like you, I've had those moments too a lot.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

So I'm self-inflicted, which is fine. Absolutely. But having those moments where like you might feel all alone, but deep down inside you know I'm not alone and I can hit my knees, or just even close my eyes, or even just say a silent prayer prayer while I'm driving, or whatever it is, right? Just to reconnect and feel like grounded again.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:00

And it's literally that simple for me. Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

Exactly. And it's like sometimes when you're going to bed at night and it's so dark, and you know, and you're just like, oh, I'm laying here alone again, you know, and tears are falling, and you just close your eyes and you're in prayer. And it's what the coolest thing is, is when you fall asleep in prayer, what you're praying for ends up being your ultra-manifesting time. Like your dreams start to support what you're asking for. And so and I've never not waken up the next morning and felt better. Yeah, right. And sometimes that's the only way I can fall asleep, is just by saying, Okay, you know, Heavenly Father, angels, guys, whatever, like wrap me up. I really need some good sleep tonight. And you I want to feel loved and supported. Give me a light of what's gonna be happening, you know, in the near future. Yeah. Just a little, just a little peak. Yeah, I don't mean not tell a lot, just a little.

SPEAKER_03 31:59

Just a little peak, so I stay motivated. Okay, so let's go back again. So you were kind of talking about when you were young, you experienced um abandonment and trauma from a really young age. So, as a kid, how do you make sense of all of that? Or did you?

SPEAKER_01 32:16

I don't, I think honestly, there's a lot of waste of time trying to make sense of it. Um, I have my dad's story and I have my mom's story, and they're both conflicting. I I honestly don't care. I caring actually makes it to where it's still open, yeah, an open dialogue in my story that needs some healing. It happened, it happened for me, and now I have a really good relationship with my my my mom, my bio mom, with my parents. I I I don't need to go and refer to that anymore. Yeah now, will I? Yeah, to help kids, absolutely. If I need to like open some of that up and be like, yeah, I I kind of get it, you know. I also lost my mom at a super young age, you know, those types of things. I I mean, and I have and I will, but I don't care. Not at all. I really don't care. It is this a place of like it happened. Again, other sources it was not within any of my control. Yeah. And even the things that I've been in control of that have, you know, not had the outcome that I thought was going to be the outcome. Why do I care about it anymore? Is it going it's not helping me move forward right now? In fact, it's keeping me backwards in a lot of that whole dialogue. Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:35

So what did you tell yourself if you did? I mean, I don't know you were so young, but what did you tell yourself about why it was happening or did you?

SPEAKER_01 33:42

I honestly don't remember a lot of that part. The I mean the abuse part of it that was like I was just was not a I was just I was a naughty girl all the time. No matter what I did, was never good enough. Like and I never, I mean, never, never is a really big word. Um, I often didn't feel good enough. I often felt like I was in the way. And um yeah. I you know, I it was We were so young too. Yeah, and I and I didn't know, but I also didn't know any different. Yeah. I mean, when you're when you're born into this, when we're little tiny kids, we look at our parents as if they are gods. And so the behaviors in which they're teaching us is the behaviors in which we are accustomed to and what we believe is truth. So I didn't know any different until I was actually taught differently. And I loved differently. My little brothers even loved differently than my dad did, you know. And um, so anyway, we opened new doors up and we I mean it was super uncomfortable for my dad. You know, the last time he raised a hand to any one of us was when my little boy was toddling and he went to raise a hand to him, and my little brother grabbed his hand and said, You ever touch him like you touched us, I will kill you. He never ever raised a hand to any of us again. So it was interesting.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

It's powerful that just that one moment changed everything, even for your dad, whoa he raised some tough boys. Yeah. And they would have. He knew they weren't joking. Yeah. Well, probably because they see like now they're older, right? They know what happened to them and they see this innocent child, and they're like, oh no.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

No, yeah, not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Nope, and it wouldn't either.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

Yeah. So by 12, you would experience significant trauma. Uh-huh. And by 15, you were a mother. Yep. Which, wow, that's so young.

unknown 35:32

I know.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

I look at 15 year olds now, I'm like, whoa, how did I do that? I know. Like when you're 15, you're like, this is what I'm doing. Yeah. Not, I mean, kind of by choice, but not fully, because you didn't fully understand like how big that choice was that you were making, right? The rest of your life. To like seeing children that are 15 and going, oh my gosh, I can't believe that I survived that and thrived through that.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

And yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:58

Like, he's doing great, I'm doing great. Like, yeah, we did it, but that wow.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

Yeah, and literally we've grown up together.

SPEAKER_03 36:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

You're too, right? There's there's a lot of people that have siblings that are 15 years apart. My boys, my oldest boy and my youngest boy are 12 years apart, you know? It's like, this is wild.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 36:18

So most people would call that the end of the chapter for somebody, like, oh, you had this baby when you're 15, and now life's gonna be tough the whole time because you're raising a child as a child, right? For you, it was just the beginning. So, how did you let that change you?

SPEAKER_01 36:35

So, I actually had the coolest thing happen, and some people will argue with me because it would probably be different for other people, right? We're not all the same, right? But when we went in and told my principal that I was pregnant, um, and I was going to be I was going to be going to a foster home and I needed to transfer my records. And he was also, I don't know if he's in a bishopric or whatever, but he also ended up being a state president and stuff like that. So very religious man. And he said, So are you placing this baby up for adoption? I said, No. And he says, You will be nothing in this world. You will be on welfare, you're blah, blah, blah. I mean, all this stuff. And I looked at him and I'm like, I'll prove you wrong. And it, the my very first RN graduation that got sent out was to him with a thank you because it's exactly what I needed. Like I said, that might not work for some other people, but for me, it was the motivation that I needed. Tell me I can't, I'll prove you wrong. Yeah. Right. That's been my me most of my entire life until I'm finally out of that suffering and fight or flight area. I don't have to. I don't have to everybody wrong. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:39

So it's just for you now.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

Yep. Yep. And it does. I think once we hit like, I'm like, I'm gonna be 40 or I'm 49, I'm gonna be 50 this year. I think once we hit like right around this area, it's just like, dude, like I don't care about what anyone thinks anymore.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

It's all me. I'm good. Yeah, I'll do what I want. You do what you want. Like my peak. I love whatever it is that I have right now, I'm keeping this. Yes, you're disrupting it. You can leave because I am not doing that. I am doing this. Yes. Yeah, I love that. So growing up in a religious environment, um, did that complicate your healing? Or did it help your healing, you think?

SPEAKER_01 38:15

So I can say yes to both. Um, because when I lived in Logan, I had the best community around me. So it was confusing to me because I was forced out of young women's, which is part of, you know, in the the church that we do. Yeah. Because I made an adult decision. So now it's going to release society. And so when I lived at home, there was a lot of shame with that and shaming with that. I moved to Logan. I mean, they just enveloped me. They they loved me, they gave me like jobs. I created the posters every week for the the, you know, whatever the thought was. And um, and I felt a different kind of love than I've ever experienced in in religion than I I mean at than at home. Ever up until that point. And I mean it, because even like at eight years old, I didn't even know what masturbation was, right? I'm in there for my eight-year-old inter like interview to get baptized, and he's the bishop's asking me, this male I don't even hardly know. Do you touch yourself? I'm like, do I touch myself? You know, and so I got a lesson from my bishop on masturbation. Do they do that anymore? No, I don't think that they maybe they do, I don't know. But I remember getting even asked when we went to do baptisms for the dead, the same questions. And so, anyway, for me, and then again, like some person that I don't even know is telling me I'm worthy to go to the temple, or I'm worthy to go do these activities, or this or that. And so there was a lot of trauma with that. And also the temple, that's your kingdom, that's your goal to get to the and you find that one person and you get to go, and it's all happily ever after. And I'll bull the shit the hell out of that one. I don't care who you are. It's it's not the temple that creates that, it's your partner you're with, and that that person, and it's a triad of God, you, and them. That's where the beauty is. Now, if you choose the temple, great. But for me, like that was like it. I was taught that. Your happily ever after will only happen in the temple. You'll only be happy when this happens. And to have my kids as dad have zero interest in that. And then my oldest son was in a really ugly, ugly motocross accident. We almost lost him and was in the trauma ICU for 30 days in a coma. He would, it was, it was bad. And at that point, all of my religious beliefs, and I finally had to stop. I wasn't able to just work, work, work and run, run, run. Yeah, sitting in there with him. And I'm like, the only way I have my family forever is to go to the temple, which caused massive chaos with with their dad. Yeah. We ended up in divorce, and then, you know, then I met a guy that um uh right shortly after, and he had been through a divorce, but he had been married in the temple prior, so he had had his kids and his wife already, you know, as uh sealed or forever. And and then when I found out that my kids couldn't be sealed to their dad, their dad's phenomenal. There's nothing wrong with their dad, right? They he they shouldn't have to choose. Yeah, they shouldn't have to choose in between their dad and and you know, and my husband at the time. Yeah. My his kids didn't have to, they still had the blessing of both of their parents being sealed, but yet mine had to choose. That was not fair to me, and I didn't believe God would be would would make my kids have to choose that. So anyway, there was a few things like that that really, really, yeah, there was a lot. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:54

So did you would you say that sometimes religion was like an armor, or would you say that it was like a mask?

SPEAKER_01 42:03

Mask, a thousand percent.

SPEAKER_03 42:05

Yeah, with the mask on so that everything is right.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Right. And I think people too also get confused with spiritual, like spiritual and religion. I it's a thousand percent different. Spiritual is here, it's a feeling that we experience here. And religion teaches us that we can only have spirituality if we're religious. I was taught that I would never have the gift of the Holy Ghost, or I'd lose that gift if I chose a wrong choice.

SPEAKER_04 42:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

I I can tell you right now, like, I am the more intuitive, the most intuitive I've ever been in my entire life. I can tell you things about you and everybody else that you know might blow your flipping mind. I I mean, is that a gift from the Holy Ghost? I don't know. Like, I don't know what Joseph Smith saw in the grove grove, but I think that the women saw it too, and they were told they were witches. So, and they were burned, and Joseph Smith was a was a prophet. That's my philosophy behind it. I think is all a bunch of bull.

SPEAKER_04 43:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

So, do I believe he saw things? Absolutely. Absolutely. I have no doubt that he probably did. It was just okay for him to see it and not for females too. Yeah. So anyway.

SPEAKER_03 43:19

So that's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 43:21

I know. I'm gonna make you think all kinds of this was carry three.

SPEAKER_03 43:24

But it's interesting, like I love I love conversations that make me think because I always like to be challenged on what I believe about myself or about the world or about life in general. Because through that, those experiences of listening to other people's perspective and really like thinking about it, it's helped me to see things more clearly for myself. Right. I don't have to adopt everything everybody else thinks. That's not what it is. It's just understanding like different people's perspective really helps you have so much more empathy for other people.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

Absolutely. And this is mine, right?

SPEAKER_03 43:57

This is my perspective.

SPEAKER_01 43:59

From your experience. From my own experiences. Your lived life. Right. And my little brother is ex you know, he's ex he's he's religious. He's in the bishopric where in his ward. He he's an amazing human. And there's a lot of new changes that's happened at the church or through the church, right? I'm not even willing to hear them. I'm just not in that space, right? Right now. That doesn't mean tomorrow that I won't want to sit down and maybe have a conversation with him about, hey, tell me a little bit more. My curiosity is like has isn't, you know, has increased. Will you will you teach me a little bit more about what you were talking about? Or whatever. But right now, I don't need that in my space. I'm so connected to God right now. I don't feel like I can go to the mountains, I can go to wherever, and I feel so much peace. I don't feel it sitting in a pew. Yeah. Singing sad songs. I don't. They feel sad to me.

SPEAKER_03 44:50

So yeah. But I also think that like that that awakening, because I I think it's an awakening to what God really is.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 44:58

And that awakening for you and the fact that you get to connect with God more closely than you ever have in your life, even when you were religious. Right. I think that there's something to that. And I think that you know, we hear all kinds of stuff. I've heard all kinds of stories with people in and out of different religions just on my podcast. And some of them are horrific. And some of them are beautiful. But that none no two are ever the same. No. Just like your experiences in life and my experiences in life are so different, so is our experience with God. Absolutely. And so is our experience with people in the in you know, in the church or out of the church.

SPEAKER_01 45:40

Because there is man in the church, right? And the men, men and women are making the decisions. And so absolutely we are we are prone to their perception, and then our perception gets you know put into the space of like that is their expectation of us. Yeah. And so yeah, there is a lot of that too. So that's why for me it's more individual.

SPEAKER_03 46:01

So I think it should be individual for every person, but I think that some people just kind of get stuck in checking boxes every day of this is how I become a good person, is I check all these boxes every single day until the day I die. Yeah. Instead of living because I'm I love that you said intuition intuition, because my mother was very big on intuition and she always taught us, you know what's best for yourself over anyone else. And that intuition's from God, because I believe that to be true. And then also that if your intuition is contradictory to something someone else is telling you, then you know your default, which is your intuition. Right. Whether it's a doctor or whoever in your life is telling you one thing, and in your gut, you're like, nah, it's actually this. Right. I go there. Yeah. If somebody walks in a room and I get this feeling, I don't care. Right. I don't need proof. No. I got all the proof I want. Right. Need. Right? Yep.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 47:03

Because that's never steered me wrong.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 47:06

And I think that a lot of the world has gone away from intuition and they're seeking for something in the world that they're never going to find. Because you can easily be swayed by people if you don't have like a core, like a core belief or a core something to ground you and hold you firm in where you are. Right. You will easily be swayed by what other people say. It's like it, it's like we were talking earlier about menopause. It's like me looking on the internet for things that are going to help me manage perimenopause.

unknown 47:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

And there's a lot of um, there's a lot of advice out there, but not a lot of wisdom out there. And that's the difference, right? So there's a lot of advice in the world, but this is where the wisdom is. Right. So if we can be intuitive, then we know.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

Right.

unknown 47:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

And I love like I love doing muscle testing even with clients. I'll have them come in and I'll have them hold it. I'll have them hold a supplement. And then I mean, we teach them like what does how your how their body says yes and no, and then I'll have them hold a supplement. And like you see some of their body just go like right into the supplement because they're like almost have to step forward because their body's like and so and it's so it's so awesome when they when they're finally start trusting themselves. But that is the biggest thing is the learning that self-trust, not discounting it. And if you find yourself asking other people questions, like that's your first like aha, that that's probably not in your alignment because you're asking for validation outside of yourself and intuition has five seconds and then ego jumps in. Yep, and ego stands for etching God out, right? So that goal, yeah. So anyway, like so, therefore, I'm going to either back old old back narratives of things that might go wrong or this or that, or I'm going to start seeking for validation outside of myself because I don't quite trust myself enough.

SPEAKER_03 48:58

And it doesn't take long to start to trust yourself if you really because that's that's another thing too. That it's I like that you say that because it is so quick for us to like our intuition shows up and it feels like a little uncomfortable or something that we don't really want to do, so we're quick to like find reasons to not listen to it. Yeah. That's so true. That's comfort zone. That's like I like where I'm at. Like, I don't really want to go down that path because I think that there's some hard stuff there, but the hard stuff is where the the good stuff comes from. Absolutely. The best things that we have are from like the hard stuff, right?

SPEAKER_01 49:36

Experiences, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:37

Okay, so let's get back to you. Became, I love all this. I know, I tangent all the time. So do I. So I'm a squirrel. So let's go back to you're 21 years old and you became a nurse. Yep. Which that's amazing. You were so young, and you were like, I'm gonna prove it wrong, and I'm grateful that he challenged me. So um you spent decades looking from the outside, like the picture of strength and success, but now you're a nurse. What was actually happening internally during those years?

SPEAKER_01 50:08

So for me, I was finally getting to care for people. I love caring for animals. I loved caring for people. I've just I always literally have always been that person. Like my brothers would kill an animal. I was trying to bring it back to life. Like, you know, I was rescuing everything. And that's that that actually does stem from a that that four-year-old when um not only the trauma that I had, but the trauma in relation to my mom leaving that abandonment. And in between four and six in the human development, when we have things like that happen, we take on that responsibility as ourselves. If I would have been a better kid, then they would have stayed. So this is all on me. So then all of a sudden now I'm performing, performing, performing, and fixing, fixing, fixing. And so I got to be a nurse. And I'm fixing and helping people all over the place. And yeah, and I even did that in my relationships. Found the broken men. I think I can fix that. Wild.

SPEAKER_03 51:06

Where is that?

SPEAKER_01 51:06

Where does that come from? From that four-year-old to five-year-old. There's something there where you that's some kind of a trauma, like in between four and six, that happens that if you take on the accountability, if I would have been a better girl, that would have never happened. My mom would have never left if I would have been a better girl, or if I would have done something, something happens in our little subconscious brain that says that, and then we become fixers. And you can come back and you can look at almost anything. I mean, I bet you almost every single nurse out there, you could find somewhere in that four to six that there was something that happened. Interesting. Or caregiver type of world.

SPEAKER_03 51:43

So that's interesting. That's fascinating.

SPEAKER_01 51:47

Like a lot of service spaces, even like you know, Didi and her massage stuff like that, like she gets to help people feel better. You know, putting her hands on them and those types of things at one point, she doesn't do that anymore. But it's still the same thing, like there's probably something, but if she goes back in her little file box, she can find something back there.

SPEAKER_03 52:08

I like that. I like these little aha's you're giving me because it just it helps me understand things more clearly. And I love to understand the world more clearly as much as I can. So what does survival mode feel like from the inside for you?

SPEAKER_01 52:27

Oh goodness. Um, that's been I still I still do this, I default to this, and um my son catches me on it all the time. I'm very very good. It is it's just something that I have been in my entire life. Like that fight or flight. I don't sit down very long, very I feel like I'm not productive if I sit. I don't watch TV because I feel like I'm wasting time. Like there's something I can be doing. There's, you know, a lot of those things. I go, go, go, go, go till I crash. And I'm really working hard on trying to find a little bit more of a slow pace, um, like going out to the ranch and playing with the goats and things like that. I'll even like you know, blah back at them, you know, and activates the throat chakra and it makes you laugh and all the kind of that kind of fun stuff. And you finally are starting to ground into some energy where you're turning the brain off. Um, because it's tough when you're in survival mode, you don't ever turn off. No, because if you do it's until yeah, you don't feel safe. So that is exactly the the word is finding that that seat of safety. And can I just sit down for a minute? Maybe I just need to give myself permission, or maybe I'm gonna put it on my schedule tonight that I'm gonna go take my son to dinner and then we're gonna sit on the couch and we're gonna watch an episode of Dutton Ranch or whatever it is. Like, I'm going to do this and I'm gonna put my phone down and I'm not gonna answer any work stuff tonight. I'm gonna hit the mountain on Sunday. We're just gonna go in the mountain, we're gonna go jump in the flipping reservoir. Cold is all flipping heck, but we're gonna go do this. No service, no nothing. We're gonna go sit afterwards and have a nice picnic. We're gonna do these types of things. These are new learning things for me. And like for me, waterfalls are another place where I can just turn it all off. All I can hear is the water. It just something happens in my brain. It's my safe place. Um, there's one specifically down by Richfield, it's called Bullion Falls, it's just beautiful, and you can hike clear up, and there's another fall up at the top, not a lot of people know about. And you sit down there, and all you hear is the water. Yeah, and then you can just like put your feet in and just let it wash away. It's it's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 54:37

Water is my healing too.

SPEAKER_01 54:39

Me too.

SPEAKER_03 54:39

And it's feminine, right? I'm from Southern California and going to the beach would wash everything away. And it wasn't just it's funny because I moved here and I'm like, Yeah, I dismiss my beach. And people are like, Oh, we have lakes, they have beaches, and I'm like, There's no salty air, there's no crashing waves, there's no like peace from that repetitiveness of the crashing waves, and like it's just everything about being at the beach for me is so healing. My feet in the sand, just not worried about anything, and just being fully present in the moment. Yep. Like one of those things for you that might feel like I'm wasting time because I'm just sitting here, but for me, it's so therapeutic, and it was such a great place when I got divorced from my first husband. Uh it was such a great place for me to go to just center myself again and reconnect with myself and start those healing processes of loving myself again.

SPEAKER_01 55:35

Yeah, and I'm the same, I I love the beach too. I just wish I could go more, and it's just too far away. Yeah, like Costa Rica has become one of my very favorite places. We do retreats down there, and they have there's a big man-made lake there. It's called Lake Arenal, so you get like the the fresh water, but then you can also hit the beach, and it's just the healing that happens in both places. Oh, it's something special. Yeah, that's awesome. And I think there's I think the grounding from being so close to the equator is also must do something because I have never felt a never stronger pole, maybe, yeah, more more grounded in my life than when I'm down there.

SPEAKER_03 56:12

That makes sense to me.

SPEAKER_01 56:13

Yeah. I mean, if it works, just go for it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 56:18

Exactly. So um you said you kept recreating the same pain in different forms. Yeah. Let's talk about that. What was the moment that you actually saw the pattern? Not just felt the pattern, but like saw it and saw it clearly enough that you're like, oh, and you couldn't unsee it and you knew you had to do something about it.

SPEAKER_01 56:38

Yeah. So, in all honesty, I thought that I had figured this out. Um, and I'm I was in a really, really bad relationship. Um, I own a CrossFit gym, and my husband at the time, um after we got married, I started using um using drugs, meth heroin, and then would use steroids or yeah, the steroids to counteract the effects of both. Anyway, that was just a little bit of the drugs he was using, and then he would drink a ton of alcohol and become super abusive. And so that was my rock bottom as far as relationships go. And I had done a lot of healing after that. I did a full year of if it scared me, I did it. Like I just I worked on me. And um, that's actually when foot zoning come into my life. And um I my first foot zone, I had more healing happen in that 45 minutes than I'd had in seven years on and off of therapy. It was insane. And so at that point, I'm like, I need to learn this. And so I get to bless other people with that now. So um, anyway, actually pause, go deeper into that because I want to hear more zoning about that. Yeah. Okay. And then we'll go to the floor. So foot zoning, like we call it reflexology on steroids. It's it is bringing the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual bodies all into alignment. And and we can also, so there's four different zones on the body. There's the hands, which are the spiritual body, which makes sense, right? We lay the hands on people for healing. There's the feet, which are the physical body, the back, which is the mental, and then the face, which is the emotional. So on the feet, when we find emotions stuck in the feet, which is a physical body, they've been there a very long time. And so we can actually just help release them. So, and sometimes we can, you know, check in and see if they might need some different supplement support or things like that. It just depends on the zoner and what they're comfortable with, you know, and the recommendation on that. But the biggest thing is is clearing those old emotions and then replacing them with what they want, like you know, something that's going to serve them. Yeah. So, but most of the time there's the this is me and all my acronyms. So I have the three R theory on this. We recognize it, we ask for the release, and then we have to know what we're gonna replace it with. Because anytime we we know you you pull out if we cut a cord or if we we pull it out by the roots or whatever we're doing to get rid of that energy, if I don't fill in the roots, then it's gonna fill back in with old stuff.

SPEAKER_04 58:59

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 59:00

Or if I don't anyway, so that's that's a lot of it. Um, but yeah, we find it's awesome. It's every single person that comes in feels lighter, feels um, yeah. I don't know. There is I can't even like put words to like a lot of it because it it is such an individual experience, but just the whole mind-body spirit. Yeah, and I mean most of all, it just brings us back to where we feel grounded, safe in our body, and in a true alignment. So um I think that was be most of the feedback I get from the foot zoning. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:34

So okay, so then back to so foot zoning, but back to breaking those patterns. Like you, you the first time you realized.

SPEAKER_01 59:44

So I realized it when I was in that, and I didn't even really realize it until I'd moved I or my son, my oldest son kept moving further and further away to get further and further away from him and from the the guy I was or the my husband at the time. Um, and they ended up in Vacaville. Well, he flew me out to Vacaville and my youngest son, the first time even on an airplane, other than when he my oldest was lifelighted, but flew us out there and um he called me out on the bruises, and I would and at that son did. Yeah, at that very point, something hit inside of me was like, oh my gosh, I'm living the life that I judged other people about living. I did. I had judgment on other people. And like, how do they stay in something like that? That is crazy. I didn't even see it when I was in it, and so subsequently I came home, we ended up getting restrained. Uh anyway, great big ugly story with all of that. Um, but thankfully he's all out of all of our lives. We have an indefinite restraining order on him for the rest of our lives, which my whole family, which I didn't even know was a thing. I know I've never heard of that. Yeah, me either. But we have one. So seems like it would have to be pretty severe to be able to even have it. And then I mean, and the he everybody knew who he was in the town in the town and knew what he was capable of and knew his history and things like that. So yeah, it was it was a pretty easy. My divorce was final in five days. It was that fast. So anyway, so then I jumped into the like again, like uh just a ton, a ton of work on on healing. And um, and then I thought I was good. And then, you know, then I I started dating a guy that cheated on me. I'm like, okay, no more of that. Then I started dating another guy that ended up being a really awesome person. He is an awesome person. Um, his I mean the only problem was he lived in Alabama. I lived here, it just wasn't gonna work because I would have had to move to Alabama. My roofs are here, my family, my everything is here. And so anyway, and we I mean, there was a couple of things like that we we didn't completely align with either. And so, you know, he'll always be a friend. And I'm grateful for what he got to teach me in the 18 months that we did have that long distance relationship because he did really teach me how I deserve to be treated. And and then I met my uh my last husband, and we jumped pretty quick. He was a member at my CrossFit gym, and then when I sold out to the gym in town, um, I said it was okay. At that point, I was I would never date any CrossFit members. I was just like, I'm owner, we aren't this doesn't dive together. Keeping it clean. Yeah. And so anyway, when I sold out, I was like, okay, maybe we can date. And anyway, we went on a a a couple dates and kind of hit it off. And um, but he'd been a member at my gym for like 18 months prior to, so we kind of knew each other. I didn't have any phone numbers or anything like that until we dated a couple times. But anyway, he when we we got married um in November and started dating in was it late April, I believe, we started dating. And we got married, we bought a house together in July, and then got married in November. Jumped really fast, and I just thought, oh, this is just God's timing. Like, I trust this, like all the things. On the honeymoon, I saw some. I mean, he'd sent a text with a heart to the girl that he was dating with or dating prior to me. And I was like, oh, no, that's really okay. Um, anyway, called him out on it, he got upset with me, so I just dropped it, right? And then a year later, like we never really got along. We struggled the whole time. Uh, and I was sleeping in another bedroom, and he was sleeping in the main bedroom, and um I didn't think anything of it really, other than we were just not getting along. And we went out for family pictures and I noticed him like deleting messages. This was right around my birthday, it was in October, and I was like, that's really weird. So I went home the next day and I checked our phone report, and there was, I don't know, five, six hundred text messages, couple hour phone calls in the middle of the night to this girl. And I called him out on it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We worked through it, and then he did it again the following January, and actually did some really shady stuff with her, and and then I was done. So that whole thing just saw like, and I kept going back. I don't want a divorce. I don't want a divorce, I don't want that to be my narrative. I, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And another thing is too, is like, for some reason, there was something that was stuck in my head, stuck in my head about being a statistic. If I'm gonna be a statistic, I'm gonna be the one that that is on the positive side, not on the negative side, right? You're 15 years old, you're more likely to have these things happen to you. Like, do you know how many 15-year-olds that have babies actually get a bachelor's degree? Not many. Less than 3%. Like, that's a good statistic. I want to be a part of. Yeah. Uh you know how many 15-year-olds end up in multiple divorces? I have no idea, but I'm sure it's a lot. Right. So that's really I don't want to be a part of that. However, that has been my you know, a part of my story. And I have no shame behind it. I just, you know, I just now I'm recognizing the patterns that I'm I'm not going to tolerate anymore. Like you get to be this or this, or you're yeah. And at this point, I don't know. I don't know if there'll ever be a marriage in my life again. Just because like you're not close to it, but you're but like if I mean if it's supposed to be, it will be, you know. However, I know that that's not something that I have to have in order to feel valued. Right. Where as in the past, that was a truth. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:43

Value you've done that work to create your own value and your own worth within yourself, that you're not seeking that external validation everywhere, whether it's fixing or okay, this person actually does love me, but they're kind of doing something, but is that okay? Because they love me. You know, it's like that little conflict inside because it's a step above the last one. Right. That's what it was for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:06

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:07

Like I you know, I got divorced and then I went the next one was just like this much better. And then the next relationship was like this much better than that one. And then the next one, same thing. And then I went, What are you doing? Right. I had this moment where I was like, What are you doing? You know what it looks like to be in the worst. Right. And you're just getting incrementally better. Like, don't you want to get like this much better so that you can just love the person you're with and it can just be beautiful and last forever? You're right. Not not easy because every relationship has its up and downs, but like good enough that you can work through some of those hard parts.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:44

Right, right. And I and I mean there is that because you when you do have two different people, you're going to have conflict. However, two completely different ways. Right. However, like I want to be with somebody that has emotional intelligence to have the conversation with like, okay, like you feel this way, I feel this way. Can you hold me in that feeling? Can you maybe like maybe try to see my point of view? Like you can be right, and I think I can be right in this too. But it doesn't have to be the black and white, you know, and those types of things, having some flexibility and actually hearing me. Yeah. Like actually feeling heard and seen and like I mean and cherished, right? As I it's another thing too. Another one of my patterns was proving it. You know, I mean, in that marriage, I dumped $170,000 into the house that we had. He came into the marriage with nothing. And so that was tough. Yeah. Right? Like, I'm I'm showing you. I'm here for this. Like, let me show you all the ways I can. I'm worth it. Like, you know, and I'm like, now I'm just like, what was I thinking? I wasn't, right? I went right back to those old patterns, those old behaviors. And it's just it, it is, it's just something. It's just fun to finally be in a space where like I'll I'll do what I want, you do what you want. And you know, it's a one plus one equals 11, not the one plus one equals two. You know, you just everybody's giving 100%. Absolutely. And but we're staying in our own lane. Like, like, I mean, I mean, he's you know, like I got the nicest text message, you know, you've got this, take a couple deep breaths, like this is what you do, you know, because I'm like, I thought we were going live because I'm all worked up. I'm like, they can't delete anything that I say.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:26

We don't like to delete what what people say because everything has like a place here. Absolutely. Absolutely your whole story, everything that you've said so far, like there's little lessons in all of it, and we just never know who's gonna resonate with what what our guests say. So that's why we don't like to edit. I love that. I love it because even the messy parts have a lot of lessons in them. And when you're like you said, your son had to point out to you why are you doing this, and you had that judgment towards other women who were in the exact spot you're in, right? And in that moment you went, and you probably had the thought, well, what am I teaching my boys too? Well, yeah, and I was like And what am I teaching myself? Because you're teaching yourself something too, yeah. Not just that you're comfortable, just that it's okay because I'm gonna justify the reasons why it's okay for me to be in this like meh kind of relationship. Right. Because if I justify it, then I I'll stay and it'll be okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:21

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:22

Even if I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:23

Right. Well, and what's crazy is like the true constants in my life, you know, outside of of God and Jesus have been my children. Yeah. And will always be constants in my life because they're my children, they're a part of me. Forever. And I was pushing them away. Like they were running away. You know, they didn't feel safe, and I didn't even see it. And that was like my first big aha with the narcissistic men and things like that, like and seeing the patterns of that in my life and being raised by that, and still seeing those tendencies in my dad now, and you know, even in other people that are are close to me seeing those. And I mean, my best friend, you know, her ex has got some tendencies that way too, that are just still, it's heartbreaking to see the kids now and how they're affected because she still has your own children. And I'm like, I'm so thankful I'm in the space now where I'm at, where I can just love and support her through that. Because I didn't have that. Yeah, I wasn't allowed because I was in that relationship and every single thing was controlled. Everything. Like he took me. This is I was a dialysis manager at the time. So he would take me to work at 3:30 in the morning. He'd go to the gym, get set up for five o'clock classes, he'd teach five and six and bring me breakfast, and then he would go teach the 9 a.m. class, come back at a little bit later and would have lunch together. He'd pick me up at four or five at night, take me home. He would sit by the bathtub while I would have a bath. And then we would get up and go, or I'd get out, go to the crossroad gym, and that was my life every single day. I never had one ounce of time without him.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:02

Oof.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:02

Everything was controlled.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:04

Listen, I've been married to my husband for 26 years, and he's my person. Uh-huh. He's all those things that, like you were saying, like, I found that, but I need alone time still. I do too. Who knows? Like, if I go outside, he's like, hey, have fun. Because I will sit outside. I will literally, Dee and I talk about this all the time. I will literally sit in my backyard, even when it's 100 degrees outside, because I love being outside so much. Like outside is where I can just like because I get overstimulated if I'm around a lot of people with a lot of big energy too.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:35

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:35

Like people who are maybe not, they're like kind of unsettled in their energy, so it's kind of like chaotic. I get overstimulated. I love people, I love being around people, I love talking to people, but I need alone time too. Absolutely. Because I need that so that I can be like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:52

Are you familiar with the human design? Uh-uh. So, yeah, we ought to lick yours up one of these days. So I'm a two-four profile on the human design, which is a hermit. Like part of it's being a hermit. Yeah. And so I was living so outside of my design and everything by not, I didn't have any time to myself. And so, and now, like my best friend, he's also a two-four. And so I'm like, oh, you need hermit time. I need hermit time. Like, you know, you go do you, I'll go do me. Like, it's cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:21

And it's not anything personal against anybody. It's very much like something I need for myself so that I can reset and refresh and get back in a place where I can be there for the people that I want to love and serve.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:33

Absolutely. And like, how cool is it to have an emotionally intelligent, you know, partner that honors that. Yeah. That is like such a gift. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:42

And so he loves spending time with me. Like if he's going to the store, he's like, You want to come to the grocery store with me? And I know that he loves that. And so sometimes, even if I don't want to, I love you, babe. Even if I don't want to, I'll go because I know it's important to him. Because so that's sometimes what we do too, is just we know what our partner needs. Yeah. And even if it's not necessarily something we want to do, we do those things because it shows us, it helps us to show them how much we love them too.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:07

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:07

And that like I do things that he's done, like I've picked up some of his hobbies because it gives us time to do something together that he enjoyed, but now we enjoy together. Right. And so that's one thing that that I've always loved is just trying out his hobbies and seeing which ones I'm gonna pick up. Because they're not all of them. Right. But there are some of his hobbies that I've I've just taken on because I'm like, oh, this is a way we can spend time together doing something that I know he loves, and it makes his day when I do the things that he loves with him.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:41

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:41

Like he wants me to learn to golf. I haven't done that yet, but yeah, I don't know if I'll ever be on KU with a golf man. I think that I can. I think you can too, but I don't want to. Because it's outside and it's like being outside for hours at a time, and I like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:55

Yep. But we'll see. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:58

I know. Never did I ever think I'd be a goat farmer until he came and my I came into my life. Like never.

unknown 1:14:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:05

Here you are. Never did I ever think I'd be delivering goats on my lunch hour either. Until this year. It's it's been so milk your mama goats? Not yet. No. They're simply tools to clean up the yard right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:19

They're your lawnmowers.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:20

Yeah, yeah. Or the yeah, the property. It has like a whole bunch of like really pokey trees are called Russian olives. Like, so they don't care. They'll eat anything. Those goats. They're off. They're awesome. How do they not get stabbed by all the I don't know? They have like iron mouths or something. Because they do eat everything. Yeah, they eat thistle. They eat, I mean, yeah, they don't care. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:41

God knew what he was doing. He's like, you know, we're gonna need goats.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:44

Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 1:14:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:45

The way we're talking about negation, like with the cows, how they, you know, they'll put the cows up on the mountain to clear out the land. I'm like, bring the goats in after. They'll eat all the stuff the cows won't.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:53

Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's actually in California, there's a couple little places where they would there was like a bunch of overgrown brush. It was cheaper that for them to get somebody's goats onto their property to clear it out than it would have been to hire somebody to take it all out, like yeah, mow it or do whatever they had to do to it. It's wild. Yeah, they just bring in a huge swath of goats and go.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:15

I love them. Their little personalities are so flipping fun. We have a little one, her name's Taco. She just, yeah, one of the other ranch guys like named her taco, and she's been bottle fed, and she just she'll walk right into the trailer with you. She's just it's the cutest thing. She'll ride in the golf cart like a dog. Yeah. She probably thinks she's a person. She knows. She's fun. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:34

She's like, Well, you gave me a bottle, so that makes us the same. Yep. Okay. So when we spoke on the phone, I remember you saying that the things that happened in your life happened for you. Which I love that, because again, the power of language, right? Right. Um, you talk about shifting from what's wrong with me to what happened to me and what is this trying to teach me.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:02

So that sounds simple, but I think I've talked about this with DD. Like some things that you we that I say are simple, but they're not easy. Because there's a difference. Simple means like the act of doing it, it doesn't take a long process. It's just simple. Where easy means that anyone can do it and it's not it's not a it's not hard for anybody. Right. But simple can also be challenging, right? Perspective. Yeah. That's true. But for a lot of people, I think that that's the perspective of making changes in their life. And it depends. Like, I think the further you walk down that path of like it's I can control, you start to it starts to get more and more easily done. Right. Um so what had to happen internally for that shift to actually take root in you.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:51

Honestly, like I think I've been blessed with this most of my entire life. I really do. I think it's just one of the things like I've never ever been knocked down and then never just jumped right back up. Um, it is literally like, okay, I mean, this this is changing in my life. Okay, like what's the next step? And I'm I just am a forward momentum person. And so I I think the for you it is simple. Like when you say for you know, when you say it's simple, for me it is, it's black and white. Yeah, like it feels better, and I will follow the feeling of feeling better to continue to move forward than to stay stuck in this narrative. Like this doesn't feel good, it feels yucky, like there's sickness, there's illness, there's all the things that are you know wrapped around that. We even talked about that with weight, you know. 10 pounds feels icky in a body, five pounds feels icky in a body. I put my pants on and they're tight on the belly, you're like, oh my gosh, I feel so fat. And all the narratives that are going on in your head, and you know, versus like when you don't, you put it on and like your vibration. Oh my gosh, I look so good today. Like you're sitting up higher, you're smiling, you're making eye contact with people, you're not uncomfortable. But even five pounds like will make you slump down, be like, gosh, I hope I don't see anybody on a ghost here today. I feel so fat today. Like, you know, or I or else I'll put a baggy t-shirt on and try to hide my myself or or whatever. It's a it's a thousand percent of vibration and frequency thing. And if I put out that I'm gonna, you know, that I want to be sick and that I have this narrative wrapped around this or whatever else, like, you know, I got I had a doctor try to tell me I had lupus. I'm like, don't you dare put that on my chart. You know, I had a enough of the titers on my blood work that said that I I could have lupus. And I'm like, that is subjective, and I do not want it on my chart. Do not put it on my chart. I don't have lupus. That was 20 something years ago. Never really had any symptoms of lupus. Like, do I have some autoimmune stuff? Absolutely. Most people that have had some massive trauma do. Yeah, that's just what it is. We treat ourselves from inflammation. We feel better and we think better and we perform better and we recover better. We just treat ourselves. We treat ourselves as we're in prevention instead of chasing the illness. Where most people get stuck in chasing the illness, staying stuck in the narrative. And, you know, like, oh, I got this diagnosis, the doctor told me this. You're gonna lay down with that? Bullshit it. Come on, let's go. You know, that's the narrative that that just rings in me, and I don't I I don't lay down for anything. Yeah, just pushing back. I've just had that mentality my entire life. But again, you have that is part of survival, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:38

Yeah, but everything you push back against has been a benefit to you. Absolutely. Once you decided to. Absolutely. Not that you push back against everything you should have, but once you decided to, everything changed. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:51

Yep. And it's a narrative. Like, what do I want? What story are you telling yourself day after day? Yep, because that's the only direction I'm going. Are the things that I want or the things that are in my path? And if they, I mean otherwise, they're just not there. You know, I mean, people will ask me all the time, well, what if this happens? What if it doesn't? Like, what if it's really the best case scenario? Because I'm going with that one.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:16

You know, we recently were talking about um changing how you say things to yourself. Like instead of saying I have anxiety, you say I am feeling anxious. Absolutely. Because when you feel something, you know that you can quickly change the way that you feel. If you have something, it's gonna take a bigger, a bigger shift to change that. So if it's your identity, it's a big change. Absolutely. It's a feeling, it's a simple little change.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:46

Right. And really where we got messed up was when they did start diagnosing depression and anxiety. Because somebody that is feeling depressed, like, let's talk about why we're feeling that way and work through the feeling. Yeah. Oh no, let's give you a pill so you don't feel that way. Yeah. Or let's go buy an ice cream and or something like that. And let's I'm sure that'll help you feel better.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:09

Yeah, you won't feel worse at all.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:10

No. Right. And again, the anxiousness. You know what else looks just like anxiousness in the body? Excitement. So the whole way down here, I'm like, I'm so excited, but I'm like a little nervous, you know, feeling all of these feelings. And but yeah, but yeah, like my body can like adapt to the excitement in such a higher frequency versus the anxiousness, which is fear. Yeah. That lies right in our kidneys. So, and another really fun thing on that side note too is when we start talking affirmations, we kind of get like this. Is this a little side note? We get kind of confused because if I say I am rich, I have a whole bunch of books that come off the shelf that say all the way as that I'm not. Right. Yeah. Right. Because all I mean, I can. I can tell I have a narrative on what rich looks like, right? In my brain, I need to have this much money in the bank in order for me to feel brick, or you know, somewhere in my subconscious, in order for me to feel rich. That's what my subconscious says. So I get all these books off the shelf that say, Well, your bank account says this, or you know, this or this or this. And so, but if I say, Hey, Carrie, look at that money flow that you had coming in today, all of a sudden I just landed a whole new like loop in my subconscious brain because I heard my name and it just put a new narrative because nobody's really said that. Look at the flow of money that's coming in today. This is awesome. This is allowing for the richness to come into their life that we're calling forward. I'm, you know, like then I can say, feeling rich today.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:41

You know, which is more energetically powerful than saying I am rich and having everything show up to prove you wrong. Because even if you in that moment you feel rich or you you believe to be rich, those things are always gonna show up. I've noticed that too when I when I've used done affirmations and stuff, is all the things in the back of my head being like, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:04

Yeah. And it's not, I mean, there's nothing you can do to counteract that, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:09

However, even though I'm a lot like you, like I am a very I see the silver lining. I try to look for the good, I try to be positive as possible because I like the feeling of positivity. Again, going back to what we love how we love to feel. I love feeling positive about my life, my world. Even when things can show up and maybe like kind of knock me a little bit, I default to what I set my brain at that morning, which was I feel so blessed today. I feel so grateful that I get to live the life that I live and do the job that I do and be with the people that I be with and talk to the beautiful people that I get to talk with, and really understand like what makes people so resilient. Because that's like my biggest motivation in life is seeing people who have experienced resilience and continue to show that in their daily life, but also seeing people at their worst that get that first little hit of, ooh, I like how this feels when I heal. And then they just want to propel themselves like a rocket towards the healthiest place they've ever been and create, design a beautiful life that they never want to break from. Absolutely. For me, that's like the most amazing day if I get to check all those boxes, right? Because I love people, I love people finding out who they really are. Like when somebody can tap into that inner person that has never been able to blossom and come out, and then they like the foot zoning for you, and then you just hit the ground running because you're like, more of this please the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:43

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:44

Like I think uh it's just so invigorating to me for people to see their real true potential, right? The real true potential that they get to show up for and design every single day.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:57

Yes, intentionally, yeah. It's amazing. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:03

So you talk about okay, we talked about that. What's the difference between being broken and being patterned? You don't like the word broken. No, okay, let's read let's reword that. So, what's the difference between thinking that you're stuck where you are and realizing these are just patterns, and if it's a pattern, I can break the pattern.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:24

So that is like you have to stop. You have to find, and I don't like to say have to, like you get to finally make a choice of like sitting back. And for me, like I've been set down multiple times. Like I had a shoulder injury, I ruptured my Achilles, like big things happened in order for like God to set me down and be like, dude, Carrie, look, right? You have to stop running because I will, I will get up in the morning and I'll run till till this till we're going to bed, like, and I won't even see things that are going on. And so for me, like once I mean, again, it's taking injuries and stuff, big injuries in order for me to be set down, but then I was actually getting to see the data that was coming in that was already trying to be shown to me, and I was ignoring it or maybe not understanding it, because like with my shoulder and you know, and my ex-husband doing all the drugs, I just happened to be watching a show with it called Intervention. I had no exposure to drugs in my entire life, zero, none. And all of a sudden I'm seeing, oh my gosh, there's a reason we have burn marks on our spoons. Oh my gosh, I found that piece of tinfoil and it had that stuff. And he just dislike discounted it, you know, and I had found it and I showed it to him. I all these things, and I was like, You guys had an excuse for whatever. And I was and I was naive enough, I didn't understand it enough. And then again, I sit down and turn the TV on and intervention, the show, you know, is on, and I was just like, here we go. Thanks, God. So anyway, but that is like finding a way to find clarity. And sometimes that is just saying, okay, like my nervous system has been hijacked long enough. Now I'm having a health event. Now I'm just maybe I'm just waking up more tired than when I went to bed. Things like that, that my nervous system is just screaming at me. I've got to find peace. Okay, so how do I find peace? Let's recognize the patterns and the behaviors that we're doing, and now let's start working through them. And what do you want? What's on the other side? Because you've been living all the things that you don't want for long enough. Let's go to the parts of where we do want and find the joy and the peace in there. And like for the first time in my entire life, I can say what my best friend and I call it excited peace. It's like this little rushy feeling. It feels like so good. And we're just really just like, I don't know, it it's it's like joy. It is. And I it and it's for the first time because I remember doing um this workshop one time with um. My ex-husband, and it was talking about where do you feel things in your body? And so the guy said, Where do you feel joy? And I'm like, I don't feel joy in my body. I feel joy in the moment. But yet my ex-husband could explain how he felt. It was like this filling with inside of him. I mean, all these things. And I'm looking at it, I'm like, what? Like, I don't feel things unless I'm in the moment. Until now. Until now, where I finally have my nervous system regulated enough that now I can even remember a song coming on that I remembered playing at the roller skating ring when I was a little kid. And all of a sudden I'm smelling the smells. I'm remembering the little boy that came up and like grabbed my hand and roll it. And I remember his hand and like feeling all sweaty and gross, but I was so excited. I remembered every part of, I mean, the smells, the the atmosphere. I remembered all of it just by the trigger of the song. I would have never been able to do that. I mean, a couple years ago. But regulating your nervous system, allowing peace to be like your guide. And then that it's just beautiful. It's a I again, like I tell people all the time, I've never been more in love with my life than I am right now. I love that. It is, it is, it is the best.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:17

It is so the life that you designed. Yeah. Every single day. You every yeah, every day you wake up and you go, This is what it looks like for me today.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:26

Yep. And that's why I say I have a new favorite every day. Yeah. You know, I had the we had some kids with us on the weekend. We're up up in the mountains, and they're like, Well, what's your favorite color? And I'm like, Well, today it's the you know, yeah. She's like, You don't have just a regular favorite. I'm like, no, like I don't know what myself. Yeah, you know? And so yeah, so I have new favorites every day. It it changes. It changes. Yep. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:49

So let's talk about the work that you do now. Okay. So when somebody comes to you and they're completely stuck repeating the same relationship, you know, like we know, same job, same self-sabotage. So where do you start?

SPEAKER_01 1:30:05

So it it is pretty client-specific. I need to I do a pretty detailed little um health and mental because I do I'm a health coach as well as uh a life coach. So I integrate them both together. And then my I also use a lot of what my sub my husband my son's um subconscious reprogramming uh course does as well. Um so anyway, I use all of those tools, but I just most of the time I just need to understand where they're at first. Like really what's the root cause? What are we really, you know, like physically where are we at? Again, the four bodies, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, we'll go through all of those, try to figure out. And then my husband my son also throws relational in there, you know, because that's really important too. Because if that's off, these other four are definitely gonna be off, right? And so sometimes we need to fix a relational issue issue first, and then we can hit the because if I'm in a relationship and I'm living with somebody and I'm in a place where I cannot move out of that, no matter what work I do on myself. Well, because you go home every day. Exactly. And that's supposed to be your safe spot. So, and so yeah, so it is it is that it's trying to, I mean, it is pretty client-specific. I have some that I work, you know, with the human design on, and we do a coaching plan in relation to that. And then I I mean, most of my my people that I work with are searching for identity, um, trying to figure out what some next steps are for them or finding who they are, you know. For me, like being a mom since 15, when my baby left, he went to the National Guard. It was like, what? Who am I? You know, and even in the grocery store, somebody asking me, you know, hey, you're Colton's mom. I'm like, yeah, and I have a name, you know, um, which when my kids were little, I I didn't even care if I had a name. I could be Colton's mom or who chance's mom or this's mom, right? I was it was the coolest thing ever just to be that. But now I'm like, yeah, and I am me. Yeah, you know, and I'm and I can tell you all of the things that I am now, especially in this moment, right? So, and so yeah, it is more for me, it's it's helping people find purpose in their identity. And um yeah, and it just depends on what where we're coming from.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:15

Yeah, what's the what's the most important thing to address first?

SPEAKER_01 1:32:18

Yep. And I mean, a lot of it comes back to identifying the traumas and the triggers. And then what are you know, I mean, if we can live that five T philosophy, most people can like you're just fine. Yeah. Because every single thing that's going on in our life is teaching us something. Oh yes. And if we can let that life be our teacher, okay, I'm learning. I can see this, I'm learning that this has been a pattern. Okay, now let's talk about steps to get out of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:49

So I like that because I was talking to my brother today, so he texted me yesterday for my birthday, and then he texted me again today, and we were talking this morning um about some books because we like to share books we're reading. And I'm gonna look it up because it I like what he said to me about this really quick. He said we were talking about how um just life and like what's going on with me in my life and and things that we've done in our lives, like because we lost our oldest brother to cancer a few years ago, and a lot of us have gone down the path of being even more healthy, like we've all always been pretty healthy in our family, but gone down that how that path of I really want to take care of my body because after you I've lost my dad and my brother, my oldest brother to cancer. I'm sorry, and once you lose people to cancer, you do everything you can to not be part of that absolutely because there's a lot I can control, and so I'm gonna control what I can control and do whatever I can to not be in that position. But I've taken it a step further and said, I don't want my children to have to take care of me because I didn't take care of me. Yeah. So my big purpose now is take the best care of myself so that I can live a long time and live in my body in a way that I can use it to like play with grandchildren someday when I have them and just really fully be present in part of my my children's and grandchildren's lives. And so we were just kind of talking about that kind of stuff, and he was reading a book, um How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie, which I don't know if you've heard of that one, but it's really good. Okay, and we were just talking about like the power um that our mind has on our life, like the impact that our thoughts and what we tell ourselves and what we believe about the world and what we we say about ourselves and say about other people, like how all of that shapes our world and shapes our life. And I think it's so amazing to know that I can make changes that will last a lifetime. I'm like, none of us are ever stuck where we are.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:22

No, no, ever.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:24

No, and I think it's so beautiful when we realize how much power and control we truly do have over our lives and how simple little changes can like it's like when you're in a ship and you're headed to a destination. If you move off that destination just a little like one degree over thousands of miles, you're gonna end up in a completely different location.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:46

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:47

Not just right next door, but like yeah, in another country. Yeah, you can be across the ocean in a completely different like continent that you were shooting for.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:58

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:59

So it's that way with our life too. Like just because we're on this path and we're headed down this certain way, it's not permanent. We get to choose that. And our thoughts shape that, and our actions shape that, and our beliefs shape that. So constantly being a student and challenging yourself against your current beliefs, not that every challenge you has to be met with, okay, I'm gonna make a change there. Sometimes you challenge to reinforce what you know, right. And sometimes you challenge to maybe think or see differently because you feel like there's something I might need to do different here. So let me challenge this and see how that feels for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:35

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:35

And I think it's so like that's by design. We were meant to go through this life and find the joy and find the beauty, but I also believe that through those hardest times in our life, those are always always also purposeful too, because we can't truly meet our full potential unless we stumble along the way, unless we're challenged along the way, unless things come up against us that really shake us. Because when we're shook, we take a deeper look at something.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:08

And so I think it's so beautiful that you do the work that you do because the more of us that understand that that's how it is, that we really have so much control over the way that our life goes or ends up or the trajectory of our life, nothing's impossible.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:23

Yeah, I love that. So good.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:26

So um, let's see. Is there a pattern you see most often in high achieving people, especially people in healthcare or caregiving roles that even they don't recognize in themselves?

SPEAKER_01 1:37:38

Yeah, it's that hyper performance. Just go, go, go, go, go, then don't take care of themselves, you know. Um, I I mean, I used to brag that I had a nurse's bladder, I could hold I could hold it for 12 hours, you know, because there was it you sometimes you didn't have a choice. Like you when you're running from patient to patient, and you know, you're I mean, and all of the nurses are doing that. It's all critical that you're dealing with yeah, like you're it's that's not healthy for nobody, nobody like to be able, but yeah, but we would brag about those types of things, you know, and then even like as a you know, a competitive CrossFit athlete and owning my CrossFit gym and those types of things, like I felt like you had to suffer to get results. We see that in uh so many different areas too, right? In order to get results, I have to do the grinds. I have to, I mean, and then we see burnout after burnout and burnout. And a ton of my clients are burnout clients. They just they're they're just at the point of like their nervous system has been hijacked from you know, from that grind, and they are now in there's something physically going on, right? So, I mean, our company offers genetic testing. We do, you know, peptides and you know, IV therapy and all those types of things. So we really are getting to treat the whole body, you know, that and again, I always go back to the four bodies just because it's so important for us to hit all four of them. And we do a a weekly, uh weekly call, it's called a line, and we hit that the first week we talk the physical body, the second week we have a theme every single month kind of in relation to the season and what's going on, and then we just kind of we hit on all four bodies throughout the month, and it's so so cool to to see the shift in people and like all of our weight loss clients are on the, you know, get to participate in that and to see the heaviness starting to lift, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, and then just see their their you know, their spirit starting to lift. It's so cool. So good.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:39

We had a podcast guest on that had been trying to lose weight, and once she did the podcast, she said she dropped four pounds the next week because there was something that she said on the podcast that she needed to release, to release.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:53

Yeah, and having used.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:54

She's done a lot of work already and she was in a really good place and she felt really good about a lot of things, but she was just having a hard time. And she's like, it was like a switch that turned on, and I was able to drop four pounds that next week.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:06

Yep. One of the first things I'll ask a client that holds weight right here, what are you trying to protect? You're armored up really, really hard right there. What are you trying to protect? And are you ready to to get rid of the armor because you don't need it anymore?

SPEAKER_03 1:40:19

Yeah, that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:23

So, how do you help someone tell the difference between genuine intuition and an old survival response dressed up as intuition?

SPEAKER_01 1:40:31

So that's that's where we talked about a little bit ago with that first hit. Like, what is your body or like what's being told in that very first hit? That that's it. And then you have, I mean, after that five seconds, and that's when ego jumps in. Yeah, that's when a lot of the old narratives come in, a lot of like, oh well, this can be too good to be true, or whatever. Like some of that, the old the old stuff, giving them to pay attention to the first the first and trusting themselves, yeah. You know, trust it, just go with it once or twice.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:01

You know, yeah, because those fears that step in right after, God never works through fear. So then you know your intuition won't either.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:09

Right. Fear's a liar.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:11

I mean, you can get a gut reaction to something that fears that maybe feels fearful, but it's more of a like it's more of an attention grab than a fear, I think.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:22

Well, and that's when you get to check in. What is my body teaching me right now? Like, is there something that I'm not, you know, and lean into it. If I'm leaning away from it, it's just a no.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:32

You know, I mean, I know my body's nose, and if I'm leaning away, like yeah, you know, and also like my body language will dramatically, if I'm coming like this, all of a sudden I'm like, okay, I'm protecting my solar plexus, why? That's my power center right here, right? And if I'm like this, I'm not only protecting my solar plexus, but I'm protecting my heart and my throat. So when we start to recognize body language, is I mean, I recognize it on my clients as well as myself, you know. But um, when I have a client that's sitting like this, oh man, it's we're in flow, we're moving. But the very minute that you start to see their hands coming here, here, and then they take a breath and then they sit in it, they're off, they're done. They've got old stuff coming back in. And so then we have back it up.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:18

Yeah, because the body's gonna do what it's gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:20

Yep, yep. Yep, and and it's funny because they don't a lot of times people don't even realize that they're doing it.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:26

So well, I folded my arms earlier and that was my first thought. I'm like, oh, now I'm closed off. I really did just have I don't know if you noticed, but I like earlier closed my arms and I'm like, oh, I'm closed off. But I wasn't like trying to be closed off, it was just something there's a comfortable position for my arms to be in. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. If someone's listening right now and they feel like their path disqualifies them from a life event that they want, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01 1:42:57

That's just like I mean I'm just I'm gonna just say it point blank, like faith will always feel better. Faith feels better to follow the path that you know, like what is leading to your highest and best good. Like what is going to lead to that feeling of feeling your best self? And yeah, there might be some discomfort in step one, but if you can just take that step one to saying yes to you, then the next steps become a little bit easier and a little bit easier. So say yes to yourself today. Just one little thing. It doesn't have to be big. And then just koodle yourself, like high-five yourself in the mirror. Whatever you need to do, say good job.

unknown 1:43:39

Take care.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:40

That was a good job. Like you chose yourself today, and this is how. Good work. The might kind of sound silly, but like we need that, especially when we've never really had, if we've never grown up, grown up with anything like that. For me to validate myself means everything. I don't need external validation outside of myself. If I get it, great, thank you. Right. I mean, I'm not gonna discount it, or I've gotten a lot better at taking like compliments because for a long time I always thought there was something behind them, right? No, that's not true. I can actually take a compliment now, and I can actually take people people's validation of like, hey, you did a great, great job today, or things like that, right? Before I would have just been like, yeah, and I could have had a negative, you know, if I'd have done this better or this better, right? Critique. Yeah, we critique the tar out of ourselves. So anyway, if I could tell anybody right now, like just follow the follow the feeling, the feeling that you're striving for and stay in the path. And my son told me that one time, faith feels better. And you know, that's where he went. And when he served a mission in um Scotland, Ireland, and that was like you'd send it home on every one of his letters. Faith feels better, and it does. And it is like when we look at the emotional frequency chart that David Hawkins has, um, courage is the very first thing out of the force. Courage is faith. I have the courage to step into what I'm calling forward. It might not be easy, but it's time for me to take care of myself. If I want to be around, you know, to watch my grandbabies, if I want to be that grandma out there throwing the football with them and playing on the grass and not having to have somebody help me get up off the grass or, you know, I want to be the one that's there. I'm I want to be like, hey, grandma, you got to slow down on this hike. You're killing me. You know, that's the grandma that I that I'm striving to be, and I am right now. I get to be that. And it's because I chose step one. Yeah. And and it's not been, I mean, there's been days that haven't been easy, and there's still gonna be days that aren't easy. They're not all supposed to be because we'll never learn if we don't have if we all have just beautiful cakewalk days. Yeah, we don't learn much. There's no lessons in these so you know it's just like the pendulum. Sometimes it swings one way, but it's gonna swing back the other way sometimes, and sometimes it's a little bit more dramatic, right? No, pain acts the same way. It doesn't matter again, like whether it's physical, spiritual, mental, or emotional. Pain is pain. And when I go to the hospital and they say, Well, write your pain. Oh, it's feeling like a six. My six might be a ten for somebody else. And the next time I go to the hospital, that six now might be a ten because I've experienced a different kind of pain that's taught me what pain really is. So it always is changing. So anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:30

Um what's one thing you wish someone had told you back when you were 15, holding your baby with no idea what was ahead? What's something you wish someone would have told you in that moment?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:47

I honestly wouldn't change a single thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:49

Or is it just that you can't do it?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:52

Huh? No.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:53

Because when you somebody told you you you you're not gonna be able to do anything, and you took that, right? That was like a challenge.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:59

That was a challenge for me. So maybe that's it, right? I mean, I wouldn't have changed, yeah. Nothing, the the information that's given was given to me for all for purpose. And I I can't think of any other dialogues given to me that would have changed any of the projectory. And would it have um uh-oh, here we go with the sneeze. The so we clear energy in my world, maybe anyway. Um so yeah, so for me, like trying to even think about if I was to give an information that would have changed who I am today. Yeah. I wouldn't change any of it. I love that. I needed all the experiences that I've had to be who I am and to be able to help the people that I'm helping.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:40

I believe that too for myself. Yeah, because if we try and take away from what we currently are, that means that there's uh like I I don't regret my past either. I don't regret all of the hardships, whether self-inflicted or not, right that I put myself through, that I've experienced. Because every single thing I've done, I've always tried to learn a lesson through. Right. Sometimes I had to like relearn it a couple, a few times. Right. Yeah. But I've always tried to learn the lesson.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:08

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:09

And I think if we try to learn the lesson, then everything that's happened to us is for us and for our good. I agree with all of that. So, what does it actually look like day to day to live in alignment rather than in survival?

SPEAKER_01 1:48:23

Oh, it's waking up intentional. So there's every night before I go to bed, I do something that's gonna help my future self. So whether it's getting making sure I've got water in the coffee maker, whether it's setting my clothes out, um, whether it's doing a little bit of a brain dump for it to help me be more successful for the next day, um, I will do something to help my future self so that I'm more prepared for the next day. The next day when I wake up, I I'm going through um, like what does my day look look like? What what do I feel number one in my body? I do a lot of somatic work. And so I check in from head to toe. Is there anything that's feeling tense? Like, how's my neck? That's my first one that usually teaches me some stuff. And so, do I need to do any releasing there? You know, direction-wise, am I feeling confident in all the ways we're going? Like, what's my goal? I usually set my goals on Sunday for the week. And am I in alignment with what's going on there? Do I need to change it up? Because it can change every day. It doesn't have to be any way other than the way I make it. So, anyway, so I will, it is living intentionally. Like, how do how am I going to get my protein in this morning? I get 50 grams of protein every single morning with my breakfast. So I'm halfway to my uh minimum to my halfway to my minimum protein goal. And then I feel like I'm setting myself up for success for the rest of my day. So I use ChatGPT. This is just another little fun thing for you guys. Use ChatGPT for your your food diary. It is awesome. It knows your likes, it knows your dislikes. If you just put it all in there, take a picture of your food, it will give you your protein intake for that meal and it'll give you some fun ideas. It's a really fun, easy nutritional hack because. I can't, I mean, with my my fitness pal and those types of things, I've used those types of apps for years. They're just cumber like so cumbersome.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:07

And it's like it's a lot of work and it makes you it I get burnt out from using those. And so chat GPT like to give you ideas. Or if I'm like starting to eat and I'm like, I didn't weigh any of my food. Yeah, yeah. Or whatever it is, you know, there's always some hurdle. Yeah. Or you go out to eat and you're like, I don't even know where to begin with this meal that I'm making.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:30

I love that.

unknown 1:50:31

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:31

So you're welcome. And it like I said, living like you said it earlier was simple, simple. Our our my my son and I's motto is keeping life simple, like simplicity with consistency is is the easiest route always. We overcomplicate things so often that that's into where a lot of sabotage ends up. Yeah. And so we live a sabotage-free life by keeping things simple. So that's a fun little three.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:59

Because if you can keep the things that like you have to do every day simple, then all the other stuff won't feel like too much.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:06

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:07

But if those things are hard, then everything feels hard.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:09

Yep. Get your water, get your protein, get your movement in, like you're winning physically.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:13

Yeah. And for me, if I don't work out first thing in the morning, I dread it the rest of the day. And I love working out, but it has to be first thing in the morning for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:23

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:23

Everybody's different on that one. But like that's for me, that's my hack. And it gets me right and ready for my day of work.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:30

Well, and that's how I get my that's where I usually set a lot of my intentions. I do a lot of rebounding now, which is really wild. I went from a competitive CrossFit athlete to a chick that loves to jump on the trampoline. But it works, it works really well. And so it's really good for your body. It's so good for your lymphatic. Yep. And that's been something that's been not in flow with me for a long time. Where injuries start.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:51

Yeah. So okay. Last question. Let me see. Yeah. Last question. So what changed in your routine, not just in your mindset, when you shifted to living um in alignment rather than survival.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:13

I started choosing me. I start I stopped like wanting to making sure everybody else was okay before myself. Like I get to be f okay first, and then I can I can like you know share some of what I have left. But yeah, it's no longer operating from from that empty cup, you know, and which I think a lot of mothers do. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:37

It is wise. Because I know when my kids were little, it was all about my kids. I didn't take care of myself like I should have. Like I was okay. I would go for a run every morning, but I like yeah, not not what I should have been doing for myself because that was like that helped, but I think that I could have done more for myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:56

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:57

And been more present for my kids because I did more for myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:00

Yeah. I like that. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:02

Is there so share with everyone where what your company is and where they can find your location.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:08

So we are Reclaim Wellness. We are located in Richfield, Utah. We also have a lot of things that we do online. In fact, most of our coaching is done online with both my son and I. And um, and then of course, we do peptides and peptide consultations. We have a phenomenal nurse practitioner on board with us that does that helps like with our weight loss program and and all of that can be done online as well. Um, so we have some accountability type stuff that we just we will work with peop with clients on, and then also the education side for the weight loss. And then the genetic testing is a new thing that we just put in with the coaching afterwards, so helping people like find the best supplements in relation to their their genes and things like that. It's it's really, really fun, not only just supplements, but like lifestyle and food and all of it, how it all plays in together. For you specifically, yep, because it's not a one-size-fit all. No, not everybody should take 400 milligrams of ibuprofen. That makes zero sense, especially if you're me. Yeah, I mean, like allergic. Yeah, you're allergic, but I mean, but also if you put you next to like you know, a a tiny little hundred-pound Asian, you shouldn't have the same dose. Right. That makes zero sense, right? You're like, what how tall are you? I'm six foot. You're six foot tall. So it doesn't make sense to for a five-foot woman that's you know to have the same dose that you have. It just anyway, so but that's that's where we like to challenge a few things because every person is an individual person, and we all have our own unique unique genetic structure. And if we can like coach and work from that, you know, so yeah, some people are a little bit more prone to to depression. Okay, let's talk about how we're going to nurture and make sure we get the serotonin and things like that regulated in your body naturally. We don't have to do this with, you know, yeah, um, with medication. Maybe, maybe we do, but maybe we don't. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:02

So and I'm I'm like a try everything else before medication kind of person because I've found that there's most things you can address with something natural or a lifestyle shift or something like that before you have to take that that route. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:17

And I like to tell people you don't need another supplement, you need to regulate your nervous system. Good. So any closing thoughts? I don't think so. I think I've like spilled so much. I went off on a lot of tangents. So thanks for you know for hanging with me on all of that.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:33

I can follow you down any tangent. It was fun. And you followed me back, I noticed too. So that's perfect. But thank you for being here so much, Carrie. We really appreciate your wisdom, your experience with life, and just how you've shown through your life how beautiful someone can create a life if they just kind of work through some of those things that have happened to them. Yeah. And they can use those things to work for them and not be something that happened to them. Yes. So thank you, Carrie. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for joining the Irene Cares podcast today. And if you would like to, you can give us a follow and subscribe to our channel, but also leave us a comment and let us know if there's something that you've incorporated in your life that made a big difference for you, a shift that kind of helped you see things differently or heal a little bit from something. We want to hear from you. So have a blessed day.