Open Heart with Lu Leslan

From Apology to Forgiveness

• Lu Leslan

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S-O-R-R-Y. The most spoken word in everyday conversation — and perhaps the least understood. Episode 6 of Open Heart Season 3 takes apart the word sorry letter by letter, examines what apology actually does versus what we hope it does, and asks the harder question — if we are the enablers of our own suffering, what exactly are we forgiving?

SHOW NOTES

EPISODE 6 — FROM APOLOGY TO FORGIVENESS

Apology without respect is performance. Apology without appreciation is hollow.

This episode asks:

  • Does apology and forgiveness open the door for an endless loop?
  • Can we forgive what was never acknowledged?
  • And if we are the enablers of our own suffering — what exactly are we forgiving?

IN THIS EPISODE:

  • S-O-R-R-Y — the acronym that takes apart the most overused word in the human vocabulary
  • Apology as habit, reflex, and emotional crutch
  • The deeper damage — invisible, living inside the person who kept believing
  • The multilayered, multidimensional human being
  • A childhood of physical abuse — never acknowledged, never discussed
  • They did what they knew at the time. I did what I could at the time.
  • The enabler — how we create our own suffering again and again
  • Forgiveness as mirror — in order to forgive anyone else we must first forgive ourselves
  • The tears that flow from our own eyes are the beginning of real awakening
  • The unavoidability of life itself is Continuation. With a capital C.

THE EPISODE IN ONE LINE:

"And perhaps it is the core of humanity. The unavoidability of life itself is Continuation. With a capital C."

NEXT EPISODE:
Parody in Paradox. Everything turns to shit. That's the bloody truth about life. And yet — we keep building.

SHARE YOUR STORY:
lu@leslancreativestudio.com

CONNECT WITH OPEN HEART PODCAST:

Open Heart with Lu Leslan is for anyone who aspires to understand themselves and the world more deeply. Through honest personal stories, philosophical insights, and practical wisdom, each episode invites you to live with more clarity, courage, and compassion. Subscribe and share with someone ready to open their heart.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Lu's first documentary: Take a Bow: The Ingrid Clarfield Story (2011)

SPEAKER_00

Does apology and forgiveness open the door for an endless loop? Can we forgive what was never acknowledged? And if we are the enablers of our own suffering, what exactly are we forgiving? Welcome to Open Heart Podcast. I am Lulesselin, your host. This is a podcast where we share ideas, stories, and questions with an open heart so we can be kinder and wiser to ourselves and each other. Every week we'll discuss a topic where I share my observation, ideas, and questions with you, and I would love to hear your thoughts, comments, and reflections too. Please send them to Lou at Lesland Creativestudio.com. Today's topic is from apology to forgiveness S O R Y Sorry The most spoken word in everyday conversation, completely context dependent, from bumping into someone to causing real harm. Was the damage done with intention or without? One has to peel back the layers and see the real intention with courage. S saying the word without real understanding. O it opens the door to repeat the offense. R rarely repairs what's actually broken. R rarely changes one's behavior or attitude. Why you might be disappointed again. Apology without respect is performance. Apology without appreciation is hollow. I have been in relationships where sorry became a habit, a reflex, an emotional crutch without sincerity. Sorry becomes meaningless. Apology without true understanding creates deception. And deception, intended or not, builds distrust and disrespect over time. The deeper damage is invisible. It lives inside the person who kept believing the apology will mean something different this time. Let's peel back the layers and see what's behind these feelings by nature. A human is a multi-layered, multi-dimensional being. Looking back at my childhood, there was serious physical abuse between my father and myself that continued through young adulthood. As I grew older, I realized that not all fathers are abusive. When I met the parents of my peers, they were kind and generous. My father never acknowledged his abusive behavior. We never talked about it. Because I am the oldest in my family, I was told to make a good example for my siblings by doing well academically, and my parents supported my aspiration for musical education. All I can say now is they did what they knew at the time. I did what I could at the time. There's no need for apology or forgiveness. Our relationships begin with our parents. Then everyone else we come in contact with. Once we form adult relationships, we learn the complexity of give and take, partnership, and intimacy. We begin to see the role we played in allowing the cycle of repeated behavior. And we have to question how do we come to accept what was never acceptable? Each of us creates our own kind of suffering again and again. We are the enabler of all things good, bad, and ugly. Humans are both fragile and resilient because we possess the duality of weakness and strength. Forgiveness is not a decision that appears suddenly out of nowhere. It is a process through the passage of time. We only know survival in order to survive we find what works. It is through trial and error we learn a deeper truth about ourselves. Forgiveness is the ability to free oneself of the burden, releasing all the baggage we carried because it only gets heavier. Forgiveness creates a sense of weaelessness so we can enter into a state of peacefulness. We tend to think forgiveness is about what we perform in relation to another. But the paradox of forgiveness is like a mirror. In order to forgive anyone else, we must first forgive ourselves. Forgive what we have done to ourselves. The tears that flow from our own eyes are the beginning of real awakening. The enabler leads to forgiving oneself. Forgiving oneself leads to empathy. Empathy leads to compassion, and the cycle begins again. We create conflict, suffering, pain, and injustice in order to forgive, in order to evolve, in order to resist, and perhaps it is the core of humanity. The unavoidability of life itself is continuation with a capital C. This has been episode six of season three from Apology to Forgiveness. Next time, Parody in Paradox. Everything turns to shit. That's the bloody truth about life. And yet, we keep building. Thank you for joining me. I'd love to hear from you. Please share your comments, stories, and questions. Send them to Lou at Lesland Creative Studio.com. This is a podcast where we share ideas, stories, and questions with an open heart so we can be kinder and wiser to ourselves and each other. Take care of the city.