The Source Within

Some of us learn early to carry other people's pain. We become the healer — the one who shows up, who gives, who lights the way for others. But what happens when we never turn that healing toward ourselves? Episode 8 of Open Heart Season 3 traces the story of the wounded healer from a first, unexpected moment in Lu's teens to a foggy shoreline in Prince Edward Island — and arrives at a quiet, radical idea: the brokenness itself may be the wisdom for living.

SHOW NOTES

EPISODE 8 — THE SOURCE WITHIN

There is nothing we need to do to make ourselves whole again. Because the brokenness itself is the wisdom for living.

This episode asks:

• Do we have control over our own suffering?
• Do we trust the source within ourselves?
• Do we have the wisdom to heal ourselves?

IN THIS EPISODE:

• Trust the body's signals — the nervous system and intuition as our first line of defense
• The first memory of playing the role of a healer, and the guilt that arrived without warning
• Growing up — marriage, motherhood, and never learning what healthy attachment really was
• Having gone through breakups, we are completely exposed to unknown forces
• Giving too much — and paying the price with our own physical and psychological well-being
• True partnership is rare. Not everyone can find it. But it needs a solid foundation of trust, respect, and mutual support.
• Through self-reflection and talk therapy — releasing the pain stored inside
• A walk through the fog at Covehead Lighthouse in Prince Edward Island, and the woman who showed the way back
• I need to be the lighthouse for my own salvation
• The brokenness itself is the wisdom for living
• Closing with an original haiku — Healer's Song

THE EPISODE IN ONE LINE:
 "There is nothing we need to do to make ourselves whole again. Because the brokenness itself is the wisdom for living."

NEXT EPISODE:
 The Invisible Connection.

SHARE YOUR STORY:
 lu@leslancreativestudio.com

CONNECT WITH OPEN HEART PODCAST:

• 🌐 Website: leslancreativestudio.com
• 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/open-heart-with-lu-leslan/id1861169448
• 🎵 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2duSwoSJVHFG8wn7SsC1F9
• ▶️ YouTube: https://youtu.be/C47yEyI19CM

Open Heart with Lu Leslan is for anyone who aspires to understand themselves and the world more deeply. Through honest personal stories, philosophical insights, and practical wisdom, each episode invites you to live with more clarity, courage, and compassion. Subscribe and share with someone ready to open their heart.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Lu's first documentary: Take a Bow: The Ingrid Clarfield Story (2011)

Transcript

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Do we have control over our own suffering?

Do we trust the source within ourselves?

Do we have the wisdom to heal ourselves?

Welcome to Open Heart podcast. I'm Lu Leslan, your host. This is a podcast where we share ideas, stories, and questions with an open heart so we can be kinder and wiser to ourselves and each other. Every week we'll discuss a topic where I share my observation, ideas, and questions with you and I would love to hear your thoughts, comments, and reflections too. Please send them to lu@leslancreativestudio.com.

Today's topic is: The Source Within.

What I have learned after decades of trauma and suffering is this — trust my body's signals. My nervous system. My intuition.

The body is the first line of defense. It detects danger, both visible and invisible.

The nervous system is the brain sending messages to the heart, telling us where to pay attention.

And intuition is the result of both — so we can take the right action now.

The first memory of playing the role of a healer happened unexpectedly. I was in my teens, the accompanist for my academy choir, when a boy I had come to know suddenly had to rush to the hospital from an asthma attack — because I wouldn't talk to him. I felt I needed to be there, to make sure he recovered from this terrible reaction. I felt I was responsible for his suffering without knowing why.

At sixteen, things became messy. Many boys wanted to be friends with me, but I was not ready to form any serious personal relationships, and I had no idea what to expect from physical intimacy.

It is not surprising those years were simply the discovery stage of becoming a young adult. As I entered marriage and became a parent, the protective instinct took over. The focus was entirely on raising my children — not on my own needs. I never really understood what healthy attachment in an intimate relationship was.

Having gone through breakups, I now know that when we are in a relationship, we are completely exposed to unknown forces. These forces react both positively and negatively.

In my past relationships, I gave too much, without asking myself honestly what I needed to feel connected, safe, and balanced.

I paid the price with my own physical and psychological well-being.

True partnership is rare. Not everyone can find it. But it needs a solid foundation of trust, respect, and mutual support.

Through a lot of self-reflection and talk therapy, I realized I cannot be bitter or cynical about feeling punished for being good — for being generous, for the essence of who I am.

It was when I fully appreciated my self-worth, my intelligence, and my wisdom that I was able to release the pain stored inside me.

The pain may never disappear. But the understanding stays.

My recent trip to Prince Edward Island National Park taught me a profound lesson of self-preservation.

I was walking along the shores of the Gulf of St. Lawrence, by Covehead Harbour Lighthouse, amidst the fog. A human figure emerged from nowhere. As I walked closer, I realized it was a woman sitting tall, meditating, her head held high — focused and peaceful. I could feel her energy as I quietly walked past her. She had sun-drenched skin, and her distinct features symbolized respect, acceptance, and wisdom.

She made me feel less alone. Less afraid. Less vulnerable.

I don't know how long I walked along the beach. But as I made my way back, the fog became thicker. Then I saw the lighthouse — and I was sure I was on the right path.

I see now how I need to be the lighthouse for my own salvation. Not because I don't know how to protect myself — but because I lose sight of who I am when I see wounds in others.

My source of suffering is ignoring my own need for balance, safety, and connection.

We are all broken from the ebbs and flows of life — like the waves that wash up the shore through the ages. There is nothing we need to do to make ourselves whole again.

Because the brokenness itself is the wisdom for living.

Like a waterfall cascading down — effortlessly, gracefully, powerfully.

(Healer's Song)

Trees breathing swaying

Brings calmness presence to all

Capture from within

This has been Episode 8 of Season 3 — The Source Within. Next time — The Invisible Connection. We'll dive into the invisible nature of our connection — with self, others, and the world.

Thank you for joining me. I'd love to hear from you — please share your comments, stories, and questions. Send them to lu@leslancreativestudio.com. This is a podcast where we share ideas, stories, and questions with an open heart so we can be kinder and wiser to ourselves and each other. Take care.