IN RECOVERY - The Ark House Podcast - S1 EP12 - Feat SHADOW (Jefferson King)

Ark House Rehab in Scarborough brings you Season One of our recovery podcast. IN RECOVERY - THE ARK HOUSE PODCAST is with you every Monday. 

A companion guide for those on their addiction recovery journey, we also want to offer advice and support for those still suffering and offer solutions for those who just want to know more.

Every week we speak to someone in the spotlight who shares their struggles with addiction. This week the stand out star from the original GLADIATORS. He was the king of the duel, SHADOW. The man behind him, JEFFERSON KING faced many consequences because of his addiction. He tells us about how he managed to turn his life around.

Former resident and now team member of Ark House DAVE joins us to talk about his journey in recovery. Dave openly talks about his years in prison and whats it's like being the other side now, going into prisons to help spread the word of recovery and rehabilitation.

And every week we get a recovery hack from a professional working in the community. We are lucky to work alongside some of the leading drug and alcohol services in the UK. This includes LIKEWISE in SHEFFIELD, and we are once again joined by group worker INIOBONG UDO who this week discusses our stress response and gives us tips on how to make things easier in difficult situations. 

This new podcast shares real conversations, lived experience and honest stories of hope and transformation within the recovery community. From personal journeys to professional insights into addiction and treatment, IN Recovery gives a powerful voice to those walking the path of change. 

Join our recovery conversation...

If you or a loved one need help from addiction, please know there is help. Reach out and speak to Ark House today....

PHONE 01723 371869

EMAIL info@arkhouserehab.co.uk

ADDRESS 15 Valley Road, Scarborough, Y011 2LY

WEBSITE www.arkhouserehab.co.uk

FACEBOOK  @arkhouserehabltd

INSTAGRAM @in_recovery_podcast

Transcript

unknown 0:00

In Recover.

SPEAKER_04 0:10

Welcome to In Recovery, the App House podcast, which is your companion guide if you are in recovery or thinking of changing your life.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

App House in Scarborough has helped thousands of people on their journeys since we opened 65 years ago.

SPEAKER_04 0:26

Today we bring you a chat with one of the former residents, Dave, who now commits himself to carrying the message to people in prison. Plus, every episode we have a recovery hack from someone working within the community.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

We will also be speaking to some of the country's biggest fans who have battled addiction and found a new way of life.

SPEAKER_04 0:43

On this episode, one of the original gladiators, 14 million, watched him in action on the show and also saw his life fall apart. Shadow himself, Jefferson King, joins us.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

So settle down and join the recovery conversation.

SPEAKER_04 1:00

So every episode we speak to a celebrity in the spotlight who has battled with addiction and has kindly given up their time to help others. My guest today had a long battle with addiction, with things spiraling on his move

RECOVERY SPOTLIGHT - JEFFERSON KING (SHADOW)

SPEAKER_04 1:13

to New York when he was just 14. He rose to fame as one of the original gladiators. At its peak, the show was getting 15 million viewers, and he was one of the most iconic members, known as the King of the Duel. His alter ego was the Shadow. Addiction meant his life fell apart very much in the public eye. He is now in recovery and kindly giving up his time today to share his story with us. It's my pleasure to welcome Shadow himself, Jefferson King. Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm fine, thank you. So if we just start and turn the clock back, you know, you moved to New York when you were 14. Was that the was that the start of the dark road ahead?

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Well, no, not really. It took a while. I mean, it was only 14, didn't know nothing about nothing. You know, it was about 17, I think I was when the epidemic was going on in New York City. Yeah. Didn't realize there was the epidemic, but you know, I got involved in smoking crack. You know, it was uh just what everyone was doing. Yeah, I'll have a go, you know. Before you know it, you don't realize you're gonna be on a long road of disruption, and you know, you don't realize that at the time. I was only 17 anyway. That's where it started.

SPEAKER_04 2:18

So am I right in thinking at that time you were you were you were in the Bronx and it was kind of there was an epidemic going on there with regards to cracking.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Yeah, late 80s, yes, there was. Yeah, the place was flooded. I didn't even know what an epidemic was, let alone know that one was going on. But like I said, that's where my journey started.

SPEAKER_04 2:36

And then during that time, you were also a professional bodybuilder.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

I was becoming a professional bodybuilder. It wasn't until just before becoming a gladiator that I was about to compete for my pro card, but I decided to go towards gladiators instead of going towards the bodybuilding scene.

SPEAKER_04 2:51

How did that play out alongside being an addict then?

SPEAKER_01 2:55

So it wasn't something that I come back here and started, oh, where's the crack? Where's the cocaine? Where's the crack? No, I wasn't like that. Yeah, I started competing again. I won the Junior Britain three times in a row, 78, 79, 18. This is coming back and forth from America to compete. Yeah, then I got Mr. Britton, done the universe. I was just about to get my professional card, and like I said, I used to watch gladiators on a Friday night, about two, three in the morning. They said they were looking for people to start a new program. So a friend of mine said, Jeff, you know, you should apply for that. I thought, why not? How did your life change with regards to that? Well, big time for one minute. I was I'm I'm known within the bodybuilding community, but to be known publicly, it was um, we didn't realize how big we were until the second year. The first year, well, no one knew what was going on, the program was going out, didn't know what kind of response they were going to get. But the second year it was so big. One time we were in the arena, and me and Flame had taken the wrong road, came out of an exit door, but we came out into the place where everybody was hoarding, waiting to come into the arena. And when they rushed us, that's when we realized, that's when I realized, my god, you know, we're famous. Like, you know, this is mad. I remember going shopping with the wife one day, and I couldn't go shopping, I couldn't go to the supermarket because I would get mobbed from the time one person saw me, that was it. Yeah, it was great stuff. And how did you manage to cope with that them? Well, no one showed no one teaches you how to cope with it. You know, you you just take the ride and you cope with it the best way you can. But no one tells you that you you know, don't be there, don't be talking with those people, don't associate. No one tells you nothing. You're living your life, you've lived your life before becoming a gladiator. Now you're all of a sudden a celebrity. All of a sudden, everyone knows your name. All of a sudden, I'm sitting in front of millions of people on a Saturday night and they're watching me. When they see me, they think they know me. They they come to me. Then I was accused, let's make this quick, then I was accused of taking the line of cocaine in the restaurant that I go to in the King's Road. They had no proof, they had a picture of my Jeep outside. The story was fabricated. They said that they had an undercover reporter with me in the toilet doing a line of cocaine. Now, if I don't know you, I'm not in the toilet with you doing a line of cocaine. So they I, you know, they had nothing. But on the basis of that story, LWT, because I was so big in the program, because it and because it touched kids between the age of 15, 10, 15, 20, or something like that, you know, they wanted to show, they wanted to, by letting me go, it would show the nation that the rest of them must be clean. I'm the only dirty person. You don't judge test the cast of East Enders or neighbors, but no one touched no one jug tests them. We're not athletes, we're entertainers. But because of the program was so big with kids and everything else, they had to show that you know, now they had to get control of. So, yeah, I was accused, uh, got fired. So next day I've gone from uh being a celebrity to being nobody. Well, not say nobody, being normal again. Yeah, had to take the shadow off my look off my Jeep, and to take the back, take the back jeep off the spare tie off the back. It was like I was being stripped, I was thrown out into the world and suddenly half a chance. No one said to me, Jeff, if things are that bad, you want to go rehab? Jeff, did you need some help? No, I was just axed, gone. History. Getting back to uh being accused of lying, getting fired, after that, being stripped of everything. Yeah, I didn't wake up the next day feeling on top of the world. I didn't even know what to do with myself. So here we go, here goes my comfort. Start sniffing, start doing this, start doing that. Yeah, losing my mind, yeah, losing everything around me, losing all my possessions, losing fucking everything. Yeah, I've gone now to ground zero. I don't even recognize myself. I'm walking around like I'm looking okay, and I must have been looking like death. That's not me, but that's what my life had become. And being around the wrong people, being around the wrong places, suffering even more. If you're really gonna stop, I ain't talking about dreaming about it, I ain't talking about thinking about it, I ain't talking about starting today, doing it on Friday, treating yourself. I'm talking about if you're gonna stop, you're gonna stop, and yeah. You have to make that decision in your mind. No one can make it for you. You have to say, I'm done, I'm done, and you have to mean it. Really mean it, otherwise it doesn't happen. Simple as that. It's not until you're on the other side and you look back how fucking easy it was. All that time that you were struggling, all that time, all those years that are passed, 20 years in your darkness, because you couldn't get out, you didn't want to come out. Simple as that. You didn't want to come out, you weren't finished yet, and even you, five years please, you still get a tap on the shoulder. Yeah, you still might see someone and yeah, those are the days. Yeah, but I ain't going there. You keep that little mouth and your head quiet. Yeah, you can't talk to me after all these years. Five years, six years, are you joking me? How dare you even talk to me? I'm talking about that part of the brain that says to you, come on, treat yourself. You deserve it. You know, for fucking three months, two months, a week. As soon as you do that, it's all over again.

SPEAKER_04 7:38

You know, my my experience was pretty much I hit that emotional rock bottom in my life that they talk about. I hit that point of drugs have stopped working for me, alcohol have stopped working for me. And I think I think I just needed taking out of society. I don't think I was strong enough to do it outside on the streets. And I think the reason for that was that I think if I'd have why why wasn't you strong enough?

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Didn't trust yourself?

SPEAKER_04 8:02

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Oh, there you go, see, because you still wanted to fucking have a play. That's why.

SPEAKER_04 8:06

Yeah, 100%. But I think what happened was when I came in here, it was taken away from me because I'd I was I was locked out of society. Yeah, and I and I think that period of time away from it all allowed me to look at myself and and and work through a program that is a 12-step program of recovery that has helped me reassess my life, re-trained.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Yeah, I get some structure, I get some structure, direction. You're lucky, yeah. You're lucky to work for you, you're lucky to work for you. How many people we didn't work for? How many people do I still know that are walking the street like fucking dead people? Yeah, yeah. So, where are we now? After six years, three years, three and a half inside, three and a half outside. I'm in a fantastic place. I can now proudly say, like I say, I stabbed my hand with that G because everything I own as a gladiator is gone. Yeah, for whatever reasons, yeah. I am I am who I am and believe that, believe that. And what I send out, believe that. We've come a long way to do that. And now is the mental focus thing. Now I'm all about you know salvaging what I can of myself, salvaging what I can of my life and my family. No, everything is sweet. I'm blessed, I'm blessed, I'm in a fantastic position right now. I'm ready to go, kicking off doors to help people.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

Yeah, so what do you so what do you do today then in terms of how do you how do you help people today? What's what's your day-to-day life?

SPEAKER_01 9:29

We have a six week, we have a six-week program, a six-week course, yeah. Okay, a mental focus course. This is to plant the seed for the rest of your life. This is the people that are struggling, have everything car, money, job, house, clothes, all that kind of stuff, but still having problems focusing, having problems staying motivated. Yeah, me, I'm gonna be a granddad next month. I can't believe it, man. My baby daughter's having a baby, I'm gonna be a granddad. Lucky I'm still here. Lucky I'm gonna get maybe get a chance to see that little girl grow up. Yeah, that's my mission. I've got to be I I want to be fit, I want to have heart and lungs strong. I want I want to see that. Yeah, I can't miss that.

SPEAKER_04 10:10

One question I wanted to ask you was go on. So I do I do quite a lot of work in prisons. What's your experience of prisons in terms of being in there and jumping off?

SPEAKER_01 10:25

You're locked up like an animal, son. You're in a four by four cell, you're sharing it with somebody else, you're shitting in the same fucking place, you're eating in the same place, you're locked down 23 hours a day. How are you supposed to think? Hey, I mean, uh at the end of the day, either you uh are enjoying being there, don't mind being there, it's giving you a few stripes on the arm, you know, hard man, or you know, you start to reflect on what the fuck you've been doing. Prison is nowhere to prison is not a place. I don't think prison works. I don't. I don't a police cell is more frightening than a prison cell. At least a prison cell, you've got a window you can look out, you've got your TV, you've got your kettle, yeah. It's not I've met guys in there, it's not lobbying here. I can go pay no rent, get free food, I don't know, and all my boys are here and they can get whatever they want. They just sitting out on the street, put them in prison. Yeah, there were dealers that make more money in prison than they make outside.

SPEAKER_04 11:17

Yeah, my experience is the fact that I a lot of these people that I see are between sort of 40 and well, 35 and 50, yeah, and they've just gone in and out, in and out, in and out. They get the prison grant, they leave, yeah, they get on a train to Hull. Buy the gear, they get to Hull. There's already people there who are selling gears to know when they're coming. Yeah, they're set up to fail. Yeah, from the time they leave. So my next my next question is obviously gladiators is back on TV. Yeah, how does that sit with you today?

SPEAKER_01 11:53

How they've changed the program and the concept of the program, not happy with that. Athletes, policemen, firemen, marathon runners, they used to come to gladiators to compete. That's what used to make it exciting. A normal person giving us either problems or scoring points. That's all gone. All that excitement, I believe, is gone. And I believe now they're catering for kids between the age of five and fifteen. It may as well be a Saturday morning kids programme, let alone the gladiators on a Saturday night. I think it's a health and safety thing, maybe. Maybe they've just toned it down a bit. You know, the platforms are closer, the the sticks are longer, the pads are longer, so you can reach the person, all this kind of stuff. It's just taking away the excitement from it, I believe. And I get this, I get asked this question all the time. Shelter, what do you think of the new gladiators? And what can I say? You know, they look great. I can't, I can't, you know.

SPEAKER_04 12:51

What advice would you give to yourself now, knowing what you know? Don't trust no one.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

You don't trust yourself. Believe in yourself.

SPEAKER_04 13:01

The beautiful thing about us is that I think what we found is what I found is peace within myself. What do I want to do today? I want to give away what I've been given freely and try and help people. That's what you can do. That's what you can do, Rich. The one thing that I've learned in the last five and a half years is that I left here and I had this thing in my head, right? I'm gonna help as many people as I can. And I walked along the streets of Scarborough, and there was homeless people, and I bought them all a sausage sandwich, and I said, Come with me, we're gonna go to an AA meeting, right? And I set off up the street, and they were all behind me, and they all had the cups of coffee and the sausage sandwiches. We got up to the traffic lights, I pressed the button, and they all fucked off and left. Right. And my sponsor, and I'm saying to my sponsor, you know, I don't understand this, I don't know what's happening. He went, Rich, I'm not ready. Yeah, not really what what you perceive as their rock bottom, they're all right. Yes, they're happy, yes, and it's stuff like that that I've learned, and I understand today that I can go to a crack den, I can go here, I can go everywhere. If that person's not ready, not had enough, then they ain't gonna follow me.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

It's down to you. I'm sorry, it's down to you. Okay, same with people that want to get in shape, want to lose weight, want to train. Wishful thinking. Yeah, if you it's nice to think about it, it's nice to think, yeah, I would love to do that, but I really don't have the time, you know, with family life and new work and everything. And you can't put in like little 40 minutes or 20 minutes of exercise. You can't tell me you can't eat properly three times a day. Amongst all those things that you do in life, you ain't got time to take care of you. That little bit of exercise, that little bit of good food, that that sleep and recovery. You can't do that, but you can do everything else.

SPEAKER_05 14:47

I don't understand.

SPEAKER_04 14:50

Yeah, get that. Right, listen, Jeff, it's been absolutely amazing to speak to you. And uh, we'll get in touch.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Okay, Rich, that sounds great.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Every episode, I'll be talking to someone who has taken a huge step forward to embrace change and hope and has made the massive decision

RECOVERY GRADUATE - DAVE

SPEAKER_02 15:16

to start their recovery journey in Ark House Rehab. Ark House has helped thousands of people over the past 30 years, and today I am joined by one of them. Massive hello to this week's recovery graduate, Dave. Hello.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Hi, Sam.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

We always start with our quick fire intro questions. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_03 15:35

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Age. 45. Away from hope. What brought you to our house? I was broken. How long were you struggling with addiction? 30 years. Current clean time. 14 months and a week. Amazing. We obviously need to forgive ourselves for the past in our recovery journey. But if we turn back the clock, what was life in addiction like for you?

SPEAKER_03 15:56

I started drinking when I was in my early teenage years and it's all progressed on to mandate other mind-altin substances, uh, straight drugs, amphetamins, cocaine. As soon as I got a taste for it, to be honest, I couldn't hold any sort of normality down. It wasn't long until I was experiencing a massive feeling a massive void inside, which I felt only comfortable filling it with mind alternate substances. So it did take me long to get going and into criminality. By the age of 21, I was having my first sentence in prison, and my mind, my mind was just consumed with drinking and using, uh, smashing myself to pieces, homelessness, intravenous using, crack, heroin, amphetamins. I had no stability and my mind, the mental obsession was just ruling me. Everything I did, every decision was ruled by drinking, using, and ways and means to get more.

SPEAKER_02 16:47

So at 21, um, didn't when you went to prison, did that not feel like a rock bottom for you?

SPEAKER_03 16:53

No, I'd no idea what a rock bottom was, or looking back now, I don't think I was anywhere near one, to be honest. Not considering the depths which I later experienced in my life. I do remember being in primary school actually and gazing out the window. And all through primary school I used to think, I'm gonna be a millionaire, I'm gonna be a bank robber. I wanted to be, I thought if I had to have any legitimate career, I'm gonna go into I'm gonna learn how to be a locksmith, which will save me great when I come to Kraken Saves. Uh so when I went to prison, yeah, it was no deterrent. I found it no deterrent. Because I was just not in the right frame of mind to be seeing things in a in a truthful aspect like that. I was just consumed with when I get out, what can I do when I get out?

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Yeah, and consequences are a big part of being an addiction. How bad did things get?

SPEAKER_03 17:38

Truth be told, I think the worst, the worst case scenarios was obviously deaths, people dying around me, lots of painful situations. I mean, when you when you I've lived in a lot of bushes, you know, I moved I moved around from a lot of bushes, a lot of doorways, back behind buildings and uh hostels in between relationships. God knows how I I kept a relationship out. Anybody found me attractive, but and like I said, the seriousness of the consequence, I'm homeless, the police are looking for me because I'm committing crime every single day. Sometimes all through the day, in between when I get some items, I'd sell them to buy more drugs and drink more alcohol, and it never occurred to me where am I gonna sleep tonight. That was never that was the like bottom of the last thing on the list. Well, that and where's my children? Who's looking after my children and how are they doing? All right. I wonder how the people are coping who are having to look after my children, right? None of that stuff. It was way, way, way, way down on the list. And I never looked at the bottom of the list because I'm always looking at the top of the list. I was insane. I was I was far, far from insane, which then puts me obviously in the bracket, in a very big bracket of insanity.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

Yeah, as I moved myself, um, do you know the insanity not and a recovering addict? Um, do you know the love of my own children couldn't keep me clean and sober, you know, nothing, even the thought of death, you know, nothing could work. You know, it's like this stuff. Um, what was it like for you coming for the doors of our cows?

SPEAKER_03 19:10

I'll think I remember running up the steps in a pair of shorts, which my brother had calmly bought for me, and a pair of trainers, which my brother had calmly bought for me. Yeah, my ego was well in touch. I thought I knew what 12 steps recovery was about, to be honest. I thought I was coming here and they'd just teach me how to get my head around drinking and using, you know. I was thinking, well, to be honest, no, no, no, it's not your fault. I'll come here for an escape from the life I was living at the time. I thought I'll go there for three months, I'm gonna get three months clean, I'll be brand new, and Dave can go back out on his own world because I'm very clever in members and I was very extremely clever at that time, and Dave, Dave knows best, and I'll be able to pull it off and just just go there for a three-month lay down. So I'll come bouncing up the steps, and yeah, I couldn't wait to get in.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

For people scared of coming into rehab, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_03 19:59

There's not absolutely nothing to be scared of. I know naturally people will be fearful of change. What's actually in the unknown is an infinite amount of possibilities. Oh well, I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know what it's like there. Well, let's run it back then. What are you doing now, and how's that for you? What have you been doing previously, and how has that been working out? What are doing noise? Come into our house, look back at what's going on, how does that look? Right, there's an opportunity of change. I needed to see evidence. It was no good people just talking to me and seeing what could be achieved because that wouldn't work for my head. My head doesn't work like that. All right, I want to see evidence and I want to see it in front of me with my eyes, and that's exactly what I saw when I come to Arkals. Right, people who are in recovery from addiction, insanity, who have worked this, been shown this solution, this 12-step programme, and their lives were completely different. Alright, and that evidence was enough for me.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

Yeah, personally, I wouldn't have thought recovery ever possible, but until I've seen it working in other people. Like when people work first come through the doors and that, you know, it reminds me where I've been, you know, broken, lost, scared. When they get used to it a little bit, you know, and they come to come to back to life. And it's a journey, isn't it? A self-discovery. Oh, are we without the substances? When you graduated from our house, what routine did you have put in place to support your recovery journey?

SPEAKER_03 21:24

The usual stuff of a 12-step programme. Obviously, starting the day off with some prayer, some gratitude, a meeting, if possible, during the day, keeping yourself around around people in recovery. So people, you know, I'm gonna benefit from. Alright, and I don't suffer today like I used to. Alright, actually, far from it. I'm very far from the amount of suffering I used to. I don't see myself as suffering today. I say I've been blessed with an incredible, incredible solution which allows me to grow. I just make sure that I get a bit of everything done each day. Alright, that's the best way I can put it.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Yeah, so the beautiful thing about this programme, you know, work it like every day and that, you know, it has been lifted. You know, I don't want to drink or use today. Do you know it's if it ever comes into my head, it's always the bad idea. Do you know, like, you know, I know where it's gonna take me, do you know, I know if I stop doing this programme, you know, I I'm only once one drink away, do you know? If I stop doing my morning routine, you know, I'm gonna be back out there. You know, it's not a religious programme, but it needs to be done religiously. Um you volunteer now and go back to prisons to carry the message. How is it being on the other side?

SPEAKER_03 22:34

Amazing, amazing experience. So I went to prison recently and I went to Humber Prison, which is the last prison I actually was released from. I mean, I spent I spent 20 odd years going in and out of prisons. You know, I had a loyalty card for HMP prisons. The prison, I'd get to I'd build up a relationship with the with people in the prison, you see. So they would see a better, much better version of Dave, and they would see a side of me that I couldn't I couldn't be that version outside because outside I was left to my own devices, you see. It was uh so the experience, yeah, it was incredible. So I went into Humber. I'd been waiting for it, I've been up a couple of hours getting ready, and I'd put my designer jeans on, and we had my Dolson Gabbana jeans with ripped in and all the bleach stains and all that, as you do, and and it was this t-shirt actually. I had this t-shirt on, which you can see it's got a bit of camo pattern there, like that. But this was under a leather jacket, and we went to the prison, we had an hour, an hour from upon arrival to get in, get past security, get onto the wind, which I couldn't wait. I was so excited to see see the lads in there, you know, and carry some hope. And when we went there, the first thing the security said at the entrance was, You can't come in with those jeans on. I said, Are you not allowed in with that with uh rips in your jeans and stuff? So my first thought was, right, where's the nearest shop? So I asked them, where's the nearest shops? Is there a charity shop or a store where I can buy some some different pants from so I can come in? So they said it's six and a half miles away, so we're cutting into the hours share time. And me and my good friend, beautiful man, we jumped in the car, stuck to the speed limits, got to the shop, and we got back with it with about 30 minutes, 30 minutes share time left with some different trousers on, and then I unzipped my jacket to put two security in and went, Oh no, no, you can't come in with that t-shirt on. It's got a camo pattern on it, and I thought he was having a joke at first, and he wanted it was deadly serious. I looked at a keyworker that was there, I had a brown corduroy shirt on. I said, I need that shirt to get in because there's no way I'm not going on the wing to carry this life-saving message to the people I know were suffering inside behind these walls. I turned up with Dolson jeans on, a wonderful t-shirt, a nice leather jacket, and I walked on the wing with some grey tracks out bottoms and a brown corduroy shirt. I think I got on there with about 20 minutes to spare. The first person I saw on there was walking through, so I was walking down the staff tunnels. That was strange, they give me a lanyard round my neck. Alright, so I've been really excited about this. I thought, I hope I see some of the boys on something like that. And sure enough, as long as I got onto the wing, uh straight away I saw one of my one of my friends on there, and like it was strange. I was behind coming from the staff entrance, you see behind the gates with a lanyard round my neck, and he's on the wing, serving a sentence. And uh I went, I've come to do a share, John. Yeah, I said I can't wait to get oh buzzing and he shouted round the wing, he went, Dave's here, Dave's here, he's come to do a share for our house. I was like, Oh yeah, do you know what I mean? This is a bit of me, this yeah, I couldn't wait. And uh, yeah, I do believe that was a successful mission. Yeah, and I I I I aim and I hope to do a lot more prison visits because that's where some of my people are, you know, behind them. They don't know the solution. I've been behind those walls for 20 odd years, and uh that's it's just a really sad way to live, you know. And I know there's people out there that they don't know about this 12-step recovery, right? They don't know there's a solution. Uh it was me. They showed me this in our counts, beautifully, beautifully explained and shown all that first when it was first said to me, I will be honest, and said, actually, Dave, drinking drugs out of the problem, it's you. I said, Well, you don't fucking know who I am then, do you? Because I've come here to learn about how to stop drinking and using, and apart from that, I'm a genius. Alright, there's no stopping me. But actually, I had to be grounded, I had to get myself in check and understand. And I kept it on the evidence look of what I could see in front of me, and I trust these people, alright, and the proofs in the evidence in it that I'm I'm this far clean, I'm a volunteer, and my life's completely different.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

Yeah, beautiful, just massive inspiration, you know. Not just people in the prisons, but everywhere you go, you know, you're full of this energy. It's beautiful, full.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

Well, we have energy, aren't we, Sam? You see, that's what it comes down to. We are all energy, alright? Plants, nature, humans alike. Alright, the so I've I I woke up to that fact. The the easier my life came. And this program allows me to keep my energy pure. It helps me to cope and deal with life as it comes and how I used to think, alright, in Dave's mind. Very dangerous neighbourhood. Never going there on your own, Dave. Come in comparison to today's. I see things with so much clarity, alright, in such a different way. Alright, I'm a human being having a journey, Sam. Alright. I'm meant to feel things, all right. I'm meant to think about things, all right, but how am I going to respond to those things today? That's what's changed, one of the most significant parts, all right, is my ability to respond.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

That's what this programme does, isn't it? You know, we can't change the outside world, but we can change how we respond to it. Finally, we will end with another quick fire question round. What's your new healthiest habit?

SPEAKER_03 27:49

I can't believe that's the last question, first of all. All right, new healthiest habit. I eat as many plants, as many organic, mother nature-intended things as possible. All right, and it's serving me really well. I think I try to listen and be there when I'm listening to somebody. I used to listen to people without actually listening. I used to look at them and it'd take three words from the other person, and I'd be already thinking creating a response in my mind on how best to tell them about what they've just told me. Now I'm actually realised I've got ears for listening. What's your favourite recovery cliche? All right, this guy, yeah. So this comes to mind straight away. There is one who has all power.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

Your favourite activity to beat boredom?

SPEAKER_03 28:34

Talking.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

Thanks so much, Dave. I'm on where to finally sum up recovery.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

We don't have to suffer anymore, people. I've been there. I might not have been exactly where you've been, but I've been to some serious, seriously painful places. Alright, and I didn't know the way out. I tried every single thing externally, every place, every drug and alcohol place I could have gone to, every prescription drug, you better believe it. So no avail until I was introduced to this incredible 12-step programme, which has saved my life and is in turn helping helping me to save others and change people's lives. Don't give up, keep the faith.

RECOVERY HACK - INIOBONG UDO - LIKEWISE - THE STRESS RESPONSE

SPEAKER_04 29:32

To build your toolkit to help you keep on the right track in your recovery journey. Today we are looking at our stress response, something that we all struggle with. Joining us today is Inni Udo from Drug and Alcohol Services Likewise in Sheffield. Hiya.

SPEAKER_05 29:48

Hello.

SPEAKER_04 29:49

For those that don't really know about services such as Likewise, what can they find if they get in touch?

SPEAKER_00 29:56

Likewise is an alcohol and drug service located in Sheffield, where we offer support around substance use. It doesn't matter where you are, whether it's um reducing substance or stopping completely, or you just generally need advice on arm reduction, we're here to support you.

SPEAKER_04 30:15

So let's get down to business. The stress response in us is actually quite scientific, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 30:21

It is. It's um a scientific process because there are a series of events that take place internally that brings about the stress response embedded in our brain is uh something like I would like to call an alarm system that goes off when we are faced with a threatening situation, whether it's like having a lion run after you or seeing an email and you do not know the content. Um, when that happens, our brain kicks off, and then the ability to think logically goes to the back seat. So certain chemicals are released in the body. And these chemicals are generally put in place to help in life-threatening situations. Unfortunately, sometimes we're not able to tell the difference, whether it's a life-threatening situation is or it's um something as little as opening your email or expecting a text message to be generally react to that way.

SPEAKER_04 31:13

Okay, so you talk about you know what well I was gonna ask you a question, what does that actually look like in us? I guess for me, the easiest way for me to kind of explain that would be fight or flight.

SPEAKER_05 31:23

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:23

So in in terms of, you know, if there's something going on, adrenaline starts pumping through my body, yeah, and I either stand or I or I run.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

When that I talked about the alarm system going off, chemical substances like adrenaline, cortisol is released. So you're at that point where you're either you take a flight or you fight. So that's where that response comes into play. But sometimes we don't look at things logically because at that point, the what comes to our mind is basically to survive. We're not able to think clearly.

SPEAKER_04 31:53

Okay, so you know when you when you talk about that, I I get it in that fight and flight situation. You know, I suppose people that come into your service may have lived on that for quite some time. Is it a similar reaction that they get, or is there ways around being able to sort of modify it and look at it and think, well, hang on a minute, this is just a text message, this isn't gonna kill me, this isn't gonna harm me.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

How do they kind of overcome that and how do they we we try to encourage not reacting immediately, okay? Taking a step back and assessing the situation. Yeah, when you assess that situation, it gives you the ability to know what next step for you to take. Is it a flight mode or to fight that situation? So, yeah, once you take that step back, you assess the situation.

SPEAKER_04 32:38

Okay, so I mean, my one of my sponsor, I guess he sort of talks to me about putting things in your draft box, not potentially reacting to something straight away. He talks about staying out of the ring. He says to me, you know, don't get into the ring, you won't get hurt. Uh, and then take a breath before you respond. All those things I still find really, really difficult, and I'm five and a half years clean. I guess it it it's a process that they have to go through.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Absolutely. The the truth is sometimes it's easier to say these things, but when we're faced with that situation, we handle things differently. But then it's something we need to constantly put into practice, and then with time, our bodies get to adapt to handling situations better instead of um reacting immediately, and then at the end of the day, when everything is all done, we come to that regret and wish we had handled things differently. Yeah. So it's not easy, but it's something we constantly promote and talk about it, and if possible, work them through on how to handle that situation.

SPEAKER_04 33:38

So, you know, when you when we get up the when we get this buildup of stress, you know, what can that actually lead to then in terms of I suppose I'm talking about sort of sleep disturbance?

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Yeah, yeah, it could lead to all of that, yeah. Um buildup of stress, within loss of sleep, anxiety, you know, um, sometimes it could lead to relapse.

SPEAKER_04 34:00

How would you respond to them and what would you do to help them?

SPEAKER_00 34:04

If someone shows up here full of anxiety, first thing is to take them out of that environment to an environment where they can um have that open conversation with you. Yeah. And you acknowledge their feelings, try to like take them through some mindfulness and breathing exercises to help them calm down.

SPEAKER_04 34:21

So we'll do a quick fire quiz. So briefly just tell us about these techniques and what we can do with them. So mindfulness.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Mindfulness is focusing on the present situation and not being distracted with whatever is going on around you. It would be something as simple as observing your breath.

SPEAKER_05 34:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

When people talk about mindfulness, they sometimes think it has to be a very long, maybe like a 20-30 minute session. No, it could just be not focusing on any other thing going on around you, but focusing on the present moment. If it's just observing your feet, looking at how your breath, um, how you're taking your breath. Yeah, mindfulness doesn't have to be something that big, it could just be something as little as that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:00

Eating well.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

Yeah, um, our mood can be influenced by what we take in. So we encourage eating nutritional, balanced meal, not depending on junk, you know.

SPEAKER_04 35:12

Okay, keeping on top of life's admin.

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Ask for health when you need. Sometimes we want to do everything because we have we think we have some superpowers, but sometimes looking out for support can help take off that stress off our back, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

I suppose one of the biggest things that came out was the debt that I was in as part of my programme. I have to make a financial amendment to people. And uh, you know, that's one of the things I did straight away. However, stress levels were through the roof, you know, because I didn't know how people were going to accept what I was asking them for, you know, in terms of I've never really gone out and asked for any help or anything like that. You know, have you got some professionals around debt to kind of relieve that stress, I guess?

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Yes, we do. Yeah, sometimes it's something as little as making phone calls could bring about stress, the anxiety, and then could bring about relapse so we can assist, like guide them on how to go through that process and impose them to organizations that can help them if it's something we can't handle, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:08

Yeah, and I think one of the other things to add to that was I um, you know, I I lived a pretty chaotic life at the end, and and certainly housework, you know, yeah, was was was never done. Yeah, you know, and I suppose the environment that I lived in was, you know, was shown in me.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

Yeah, we talk about that and then um we try to, like I said, signpost and about cleaning um your environment. We encourage to start small. Each day you take each task as much as you can handle. You don't have to do everything at the same time. Come up with a plan. Where do you start from? Because sometimes when you look at how messy the house is, you don't even know where to start from it, raises your stress level. But about starting maybe from your kitchen area today, yeah, then the next day you can go to other areas, it's just basically breaking those tasks that look like they're just too much into small manageable tasks such that it's not overwhelming, you know.

SPEAKER_04 36:59

Yeah, I guess it's just a draw at a time. True. So, and then the last one is about being active.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Yeah, being active doesn't have to necessarily mean going to the gym, be just dancing, taking a walk, doing some stretches in the comfort of your room. Yeah, those things will help distribute stress and um help with emotional regulation. So it's about bringing about that balance in whatever you're doing, not trying to run away from real life situations and then hiding under another addiction. That becomes another problem.

SPEAKER_04 37:30

So I know there are so many techniques to help us if we suddenly become stressful. So let's just talk about a couple of them. Can you tell me about the sober breathing space?

SPEAKER_00 37:40

Sober breathing is an acronym. Stop, observe, breathe, expand, and respond. So, in summary, what that means is you're not reacting on impulse. Yeah, impulse assess the situation, you observe your breath, observe how your body's responding to that situation, and then you respond instead of reacting.

SPEAKER_04 38:03

So, can you tell me about some grounding techniques?

SPEAKER_00 38:07

Using your senses, yes, generally is about your senses. Um, what are the five things you see around you? What are the four things you can feel? What are the three things you can hear? Using your five senses here to help you reassess the situation and bring your emotional regulation back to the state you want it to be.

SPEAKER_04 38:26

Tell me about some grounding techniques.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

Um, the different types of grounding techniques one can use. It could just be about um feeling your feet on the floor, observing your breath, it could be tapping your wrist, whatever it is that makes your emotion regulate to the way you want it to be. Yeah, there are various forms one can use.

SPEAKER_04 38:45

Thank you for that. And thanks so much, Ini for today. And we'll speak again in our next series. Thank you.