The Price of Competition

The concept of I, Me, Mine is valid only in the worlds that we create within our minds. We choose what favors us. We have separated space, opportunity and privilege for ourselves, people and things that matter to us. Whenever there is a competition, the loudest, the strongest and the fiercest tend to win.  

The real question is - is this price of competition worth it? What if you can coexist and cocreate to make the world a better place to live rather than compete with each other? Discover more! 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to the Art of Being Happy, Buddha's Guide to Modern Living from Jetavanarama Buddhist Monastery, Sri Lanka. This intriguing talk series brings timeless Buddhist wisdom to help you navigate life's challenges through simple practical insights. Each episode offers gentle guidance for finding peace and joy in everyday moments. Join us on this journey toward lasting happiness and inner peace. Brought to you by Sanatana, the voice eternal.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Your mind will always favor your desires. Your choices always favor your desires. That's how you always make choices. But this is why you are still in Sansar. All things were created equal. All consciousness is consciousness. But when we identify with certain consciousness as me, mine, not mine, others, theirs, and so on, ladies and gentlemen, these discriminations, they are only true in our world, the world that we create in our own minds. But such discriminations, they're not valid in the real world. We make these choices based on our own desires. What favors us, we choose. I have seen plenty of times, I'll give you one or two examples, right? There have been times where, when I used to be a layman, you get onto the bus and assume there are two seats. When someone takes one of the seats, someone who's traveling with them, maybe a friend or a member of the family, they will reserve that seat for them. So they'll put their bag on that seat and then they'll keep it for them. So they're still out, they're going to do some shopping or whatever, and they'll be getting into the bus in a short while. In the meantime, there are people who are already standing in the bus. But they got onto the bus first. Whereas whoever this is your friend, relation, there outside, they haven't even perhaps they're still on the way to the bus halt or to the bus stop. But the seat rightfully belongs to the person who got onto the bus because you haven't paid for that seat, right? You haven't bought a ticket. If you've already bought the ticket, then fair enough. Let's assume that's fair enough. But if the seats are equally available to anyone who got onto the bus, then they have to be made available in the order that people got onto the bus. But what do people typically tend to do? They'll put a bag on the seat and say, no, that's that's taken. By what, your bag? But there may be someone who actually needs a seat. But no, that seat is for me and mine. What little do you know that that is the reason you're still in sansar? These choices. You don't realize the price you have to pay for that, right? It's not the price of a bus ticket. The price you're paying is sansar. The price you're paying is floods. The price you're paying is earthquakes. The price you're paying is storms. Because if you're in sansara, all of this comes to you. What you've just done is you've separated space, opportunity, a privilege to someone that is close to you, dear to you, special to you. So that every time you do this, you're furthering your journey in sansara. You might argue, but Swami Nansa, everyone does it. So why is it wrong if I do it? It's just to see it. And everyone does it. So if everyone does it, it makes it right, does it? How many times when a wrong deed is committed, does it become a right deed? I'm just doing it multiple times and it becomes right. True choices. These choices are influenced by the people you associate with. When someone makes a choice, you observe that. And if no one speaks up, then you think that's okay. That's typically how you learn these choices. So let me give you an example. If someone shouts at you, this is tell me what you've seen in society. Right, if someone accuses someone, typically what does the other person do? If someone is shouted at, what does that person who has just been shouted at do? They'll shout back. Right? No one says anything about that. No one speaks up. Now imagine you're just a kid, child, you're you're growing up, you're learning by observing what's going on around you. Your children see this all the time. That's why at home, mother shouts at the father, father shouts at the mother, and that's apparently how things work. So there's no parent or a grandparent there to say, stop fighting, this is not what you're supposed to do, your children are watching. So the mother and the father, they set an example to the child, and the example is when things don't work out, what you gotta do is shout at each other. So the strongest wins. The loudest wins. The fiercest wins. Those who have physical power, they win. Because if verbally you can't win it, then what must you do? Pick something like a club or something, right? Or the broomstick. Pick something, anything that can be used as a weapon and attack. Until she shuts up. Or until he shuts up. So at some point, mother or the father, they will retreat. Typically, in cultures that we have seen, the mother will retreat. They'll go, she'll go to the bedroom and she'll just close the door and start crying. The children see this. And so the child growing up thinks, ah, I see. That's how you gotta solve problems. So they're like sponges, always learning things. So you get on the you are out on the street, person gets shouted at. Then typically what you've always seen is the other person that person who got shouted at retaliates. Usually a bit louder. Because they don't want others to think, people in their vicinity, they don't want them to think that they have been somehow mocked or ridiculed or undermined, belittled. They don't like people thinking that because their ego has just been attacked. There's one part of you that is most painful when attacked. What part is that? Is it above the neck or below the neck? Is it above the belt or under the belt? Gents? Which part is most painful when attacked? It's called the ego. It's called the ego. It's not a physical part. So when that part gets attacked, it's very important, you think, to fight, to fight back. Because others, you the relationship that others have with you has a big impact on your ego. That is why it doesn't help, ladies and gentlemen, to be in an environment where people are always praising egos and always talking about, you know, how great and how good and how wonderful you are, and just always boosting your ego all the time. Doesn't help. It doesn't help with your journey of nibbana. That is why when we create an environment for nibbana, which is what we have done at the monastery, the ego doesn't get a place. If ever we see any of our students or even ourselves speak, do with ego, think you can't see that. But if those actions are demonstrative of an ego behind the scenes, then our teachers will always speak and say, No, why did you say such a thing? So, going back to the bus. People have done this many times, and you have seen people do this when they get onto the bus or a train or some kind of public transport, they will reserve a seat for their loved ones. But someone else more deserving of it simply because they got onto the bus first. And that is right. So they come on and they say, Can I have that seat? No, it's taken. That's why people try to rush onto the bus. Haven't you seen that? Sometimes it's like a stampede into the bus. It's like wild animals trying to get onto. Have you not seen that? Oh, have you always traveled business classes? You know, but in some cultures, in some countries, they have they they have I don't like to call it manners because it makes it sound like in the other countries they don't have manners. That's not what I'm trying to say. I'm just saying it's a very cultural thing. It's a very cultural thing. I mean, there are plenty of things that I was quite shocked. I've experienced multiple cultures. I was shocked to see certain things when I went there. There were certain things I was quite shocked when I saw when I got back here. But then I later realized well, that is the way it works. It's not my part to try and change it. It's not my place to change it. I just have to accept it. That is the way it is. But I can accept it okay. However, I must be able to see what's going on under underneath. What's really going on behind the scenes? What are these minds doing right now when they behave like that? I mean personally, I have seen how people they'll queue up waiting for a bus to arrive, and then as soon as the bus door opens and say, right, people in, my gosh, it's like that's the last bus. I mean, it could be potentially the last bus, but how come every bus is like that? And then somebody they'll push people around. It doesn't matter who gets hurt, whose feet get trodden on. It's about who gets that seat. Who should get that seat? First, first who should get it? And then the word that was on the border. Miyan, mine. What people don't realize is the price they have to pay for this is not the price of a ticket. What is the price? Sansar. A sahedi price. Little do they know that that is a price they pay. That's just giving for a bus or getting onto a bus. Plenty of other places where you just have to queue up to get something done. That people just can't? Wait, because they're they they always want their share, my share, their part, their turn is more important than someone else's turn. If there's a board that says last few in stock, and now there's a queue, they say no price reduction, and there's a everyone's formed an orderly queue, and then the shop assistant comes and puts another board just underneath that says last few. Now what happens to the queue? No more cue after that. People can't be happy with someone else getting something that they can't have. Let's be honest, let's speak the truth. Permission to proceed? Let's speak the truth. If you want to get to an Ibbana, let me show you where you fail, where you topple and fall. Ibbana has to start with being a good person. Goodness then cultivates greatness. But if you're always focused about what's in it for me, where's my part? Where's my share? Where's my turn? Where's my seat? Where's my thing? Where's my that thing, this thing, every time you think and act according to along those lines, ladies and gentlemen, you're always fostering, you're always growing, you're always feeding this beast of a me that lay dormant in your mind. You've got to be very careful. If there's a car park and there are only a few bays left, can you genuinely be happy if someone else takes your slot? Don't answer that question. It's a difficult question to answer. It's a very difficult one because there's a morally right answer and there's an intuitively right answer. Unfortunately, your intuition does not agree with your morals. This is why there's a duality inside of you. You know the right answer, and then you know your answer. And these two things clash. There's conflict. So you can't do as you speak. There's a problem. I keep saying you, but I'm not really talking about you, okay? So please don't feel that I've the moment I sat you up just been attacking you. This is not a personal attack on anyone. I'm just talking about consciousness and a defiled consciousness. So if the hat fits, then put it on. I don't know whose size this is, right? I just throw the hats. If it doesn't fit, then don't worry, just put it, keep it to a side, you might need it later. But don't throw the hat away because you might need it later. It's like your first tape cupboard at home. Bring it and fill it with stuff. You don't just throw stuff out because you don't need it now. You might need it later. Yeah? So likewise. And this is where there's competition. Whenever there's a competition, the price you have to pay is sansar. Let's let's take something that is very much accepted in today's day and age. And even encouraged for that matter. Sport. Please don't be hurt by anything I say. It's not meant to hurt. It's meant to educate and to enlighten. Sport is good. And sport is something we must have. Because it helps us to be physically fit, helps us to be healthy, exercise, and all that good stuff, we get out of sport. But the moment you introduce competition into sport, now it becomes a whole new ball game. Pardon the pan. Now it's a different matter altogether. You see, isn't that why there are certain instances where you see, where you say, that's good sportsmanship. There are times where people are respected and people are honored, right? And that's good sportsmanship. Say, for instance, there's a marathon. And just before the finish line, like say, you know, a hundred yards before the finish line, one of the runners, they they they topple and fall, and then someone else stops, and then they help them across the finish line. And you say, What? That's good sportsmanship. So if that is good sportsmanship, what about the rest of it? So you identify individual instances of good sportsmanship. So that becomes good sportsmanship because the rest of it isn't. You only see white because the rest of it is black. That's where you see the contrast. So what shall we do? Shall we stop sport? No, shall we take the competition out of sport? It's too late for that. We can't change the world and the way it works. I'm just here to educate you. To show you that you need to be making the right choices. Otherwise, the price you are paying is not a small price. It's not a small one. Put sport to aside now. Dance, music, singing, art, drama. All of these things we have in schools and societies and clubs and associations and all that, right? We have them at school level, we have them at provincial level, we have them at district level, we have them at national level, we have them at international level. Intergalactic, not yet. It will come. So, is a mother happy when she gets to know that it is not her child who has come out first at the art competition? A typical mother is only pleased to hear that her child has won the price. And that goes the same for the child themselves. They're happy when they win the price. So what we've done now is introduce competition into something that is beautiful. Art is beautiful. Art is meant to soften. Art is meant to introduce melody, music, rhythm, into what would otherwise be a very dry and barren mind. But then what people do is they introduce competition into it. And they contaminate it with competition. You take something beautiful, something something peaceful, something to unite, something to harmonize, and then you add competition to it. Then you feed egos. Wherever you see egos are being fed, ladies and gentlemen, the price that is being paid is samsad. I'm only sharing these things with you so that you can live mindfully. This is the whole objective here. You need to live mindfully. Most people will not encourage that. Because you will just go with the flow. At the workplace, again, there's always competition. Who gets that promotion? Who gets a good word from the boss? Who's best? Who gets onto their Christmas list? Who gets who gets that promotion? Who gets that increment? People can't be happy with someone else getting something that they want. All because they don't see all things as equal. Just because you do something wrong multiple times doesn't make it right. This is where you ask me the question, but Swamina says everyone does it. So if everyone does it, what are we supposed to do now? Something else? I could simply say, well, if everyone does it, go, you know, do the same. But be be aware that the price you're gonna have to pay is what everyone else also pays. If you're asking me if it's okay to do something because everyone else does it, I can say yes to that, but with the caveat that the price that you will have to pay is also the price that what? Everyone else pays. If you're okay with that, then fair deuce. But I know you're not okay with that. Because you're not prepared to pay the price of sansara. Not at the cost of nibbana. Now you have to think twice, ladies and gentlemen. The path to worldly pleasures, worldly gains is one. The path to nibbana is at complete odds with it. 180 degrees in the opposite direction. What can I do about it? I am sorry. It's not my making, it's just the way it is. I myself was, you know, knees deep in competition. I was there, I was at it. I wanted. I wanted to be the first, I wanted to be the best at everything I did. But then I realized that I was not happy if someone else became first. If someone else was the best, it always had to be me. And every time it I needed it to be me, I was paying a hefty price. But little did I realize that. So I went to the temple, I observed seal, I gave Dhane. I did all those things. But there was something that just wasn't happening within me. What do you think that was? Nibbana. How could it? When what I was doing was complete and entirely at odds and against and goes everything against Nibbana. Because the ultimately, what is nibbana? Why would you know that you will have you have attained nibbana? When you don't experience a sense of self. But when you put yourself in competition and you and you foster competition, and you're part of that competition, and you want to be, you want to compete, and you want to come out the best, you want to come out top, what are you nurturing now? The sense. The very thing, the one thing that you have to be free of is the one thing you keep feeding. So then people like that will attend Nibbana when pigs fly. But why does everyone talk about then competition and why is competition always so encouraged? And why is that the thing that we have to do?

SPEAKER_00 21:33

Thank you for joining us on The Art of Being Happy from Caitavanarama Buddhist Monastery. May today's wisdom bring you peace and joy in your daily life. We'd love to hear how these talks have touched your life. Share your experiences with us on Plus91 6361 803371. Until next time, may you find happiness in each present moment. Brought to you by Sanatinavani, the Voice Eternal.