The Art of Problem Solving

We often think suffering is external and there are circumstances or people who cause us pain and disappointment. We try to remove these sources of suffering endlessly. We try to master problem solving yet without any concrete results.  

What if we knew that suffering has its source in our mind and just by switching our mindset or perspective, our view of suffering, its causes and outcomes will change too? Can it be the key to mastering the art of problem solving? Stay tuned to learn more!  

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Welcome to the Art of Being Happy, Buddha's Guide to Modern Living from Jetavanarama Buddhist Monastery, Sri Lanka. This intriguing talk series brings timeless Buddhist wisdom to help you navigate life's challenges through simple practical insights. Each episode offers gentle guidance for finding peace and joy in everyday moments. Join us on this journey toward lasting happiness and inner peace. Brought to you by Sanatanadani, the voice eternal.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

The problem that we are all trying to tackle is suffering in its many forms. We have all lived long enough to have been a victim of this suffering. The thing is, too often we think that suffering comes to us from outside, external. That there are individuals who bring us suffering, that there are things, objects or events that cause us suffering. So we spend a whole lifetime, ladies and gentlemen, trying to remove these sources of suffering that we think are there outside of us to wake them off and to try and remove them from our lives so that we can maintain a state of happiness. Until we see that there's a fundamental problem here, we will continue to do this. The happiness that you have always experienced is a happiness that you've had to maintain. Now, as you listen to this, I want you to go into your own lives, the journey that you have taken to this point, and the various ups and downs that you've had to go through in life, because each of you will have a very unique story. There's no one else in this room who knows your story better than you. So for each of you, you have a unique story. A story from whenever you can remember, perhaps from when you were very young to where you are now. The various vicissitudes of life, the various atrocities that you've had to face, adversities that you've had to overcome. Yes, it would have been sprinkled with some goodness, some fortunate events, but there were always some misfortunate, unfortunate events along the way as well. So every time you came across one of these misfortunate, unfortunate events, you were so determined that you will not let that happen to you again. That is how life was always. So you tried to learn, you try to teach yourself how to avoid these misfortunate, unfortunate things from happening to you. This is what we call education. We educate ourselves so that we can keep these unfortunate events away from us and always try and make our lives happy and keep those fortunate events coming to us and repeating themselves. As an example, so when someone disappoints you, you try and learn about that person. You try and study that person, don't you? You try and predict their next move. You try and learn how to predict their next move so that you don't fall into that same place again. So you think to yourself, right, so the last time they gave me a promise and they never fulfilled it, so the next time round, I'm going to have some backup plan. And then if they do it, get away with it once or twice, then you sort of put them into your blacklist and say, right, this guy, don't trust that guy. Because whenever he says he will do it, chances are he won't. So now you have a list of people. You know, you don't publish it out because it would be embarrassing. And at the same time, you want everyone to think that you're their friend and they're yours. So all these people who we have unfriended, right? It's all only, it's very personal, right? You don't you don't publish that list out. But most people have that, unfriended individuals. So we go from being friends to, shall we say, acquaintances. We know them, but we don't want to know them. But we do. And as I say, keep your friends close, but your enemies are closer. So those are very close, so close that no one else knows. But the reason you do this is so that you can protect yourself from future harm, damage. You're designed in this manner. This is part and parcel of your construct. You're engineered to be like that. So this is a school about yourself. Right? We are here to study us. How do I work and why do I work in that way? So this is not a Dhamma school, although we call it a Dhamma sermon. This is a school about you. Because there are often times when you don't know why you do things the way you do. There are oftentimes when you have emotions, feelings, things that you feel and you struggle to understand why you feel that way, and sometimes those are feelings you're not very proud of, but they come to you nonetheless. Like when you see someone get something yet you don't get, and you feel, oh, how I wish I had that. But you never spit it out, do you? These are things that you cannot say. You don't like to say it out because it would be rude. It would not be polite to be saying such a thing, but you feel it anyway. It's like if you see someone, like gents, you see a lady, and you think she's she's alright. Alright, she's alright. You think she's alright, but she's already taken. Then what do you do? Oh, there are so many things you wish you could say, but you can't. So you have to keep hush because such things are not appropriate. See, the thing is this, these all these inappropriate things they keep coming into your mind. Even though you know it's not appropriate, but you can't stop them. And so you suffer silently. This silent suffering, haven't you had enough of it? You go through this day and day out, don't you? Every day of your life, somewhere down the line you always have to endure this, this silent suffering. Things that you wish you could just express, get it out of your system, vent it out, but you can't. Then there are times when you don't like people, people you really don't like, people you don't like to be in the presence of, let alone hold hands with. But what can you do? And they have both been invited to the party. The last thing you want is to be sat next to that person, but hey ho, what does the host do? This is the thing, you know, all these turbulations, all these animosities, you know, you don't express them, it's all inside, right? You put in a D, you know, in a closet and keep it locked. No one else knows about this. So you don't express it, so therefore the host cannot do anything about it. They don't know your dirty secrets, and they sit you right down next to that person at the party. So now you are at the dining table, you're sat very next to the person, the last person, you don't even want to be in their shadow, let alone be with them. Now what do you have to do? This is a party that you have to also take out time out from work, but now you have to be here. Then until the end of the party, or whatever the dinner or whatever, you have to now be there and try and make chit-chat with them, small talk. She doesn't like you, you don't like her, but this is the way it's going to have to be for the next two hours. We've all been there. And so we suffer silently. And it's one thing to suffer and just get it out of your system. You know, just vent it out. Make your suffering known to someone so that they can at least pacify you and talk to you and just you know help you, help soothe you. But then there are other times when it's just inside, it's just brewing inside and just boiling and festering, and it's incredibly difficult. But what can you do? And then we think here's the worst part of it all. You think she's the one. She. This it's just I can't say anything. But thankfully, you have some dirty minds, so therefore, I can I can leave those sentences unfilled, and you will fill in all the flags. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. You're very kind. So this woman, right, who's the cause of my suffering, who's the cause of all my pains, right? She's the one who slept with da-da-da-da-da. And now she has the audacity to sit next to me, and now we have to just keep quiet as if nothing happened. Silent suffering. The problem is you think she's the one who's the cause of the suffering. Therefore, here's what you might do: you might ask the host, and sometimes you know this can happen on an aircraft. Like you've booked your tickets, you're going to have a 14-hour flight, and you take your seat, and the next thing you know, oh no. Of course. So, right next to you is the last person you want to be with. Not for 14 minutes, let alone 14 hours. Then what do you do? You might go and ask a flight attendant, please. I I beg of you. I'll pay extra, I'll pay double. Can you shift my seat? Can you get me somewhere else? And then they say, Sorry, sir, all seats have been booked. All seats are taken, so we can't move you anywhere. What about the pilot's seat? Can I take that? See, you'll know you find yourself in these situations. So, how come you keep facing these situations time and time and time again? You never seem to be able to come out of this. In that moment, right? In that moment where you find yourself in this problem, you try and do something about it, don't you? You don't just keep quiet. I mean, unless you're, you know, really tame and timid, in which case you might just keep it quiet and try and get through the day. But most of the time you'll try and do something about it. Especially if you know people, right? If you have the resources, if you have the means. You might walk up to someone and say, please, can I make a request? Can you move me to some other part of the room? I don't I really don't like it, and don't ask me why. I'm just not very comfortable there. So then let's assume that they move you to another table. So now you have been shifted, right? And then you think, right, that's it. Job done, problem solved. Look at me. I'm the problem solver. Problems fixed. So now you're very happy about yourself. You're very pleased with yourselves. Like you've solved the world's problems. You feel very confident, you feel like an accomplished individual who's managed to solve your life's problems, and now from here on life's life's good. But soon after, yet another problem crops up. And then you have to fix that problem. If you can. And then soon after that, another one comes up. And then you have to fix that problem. Can I ask you a question? A very simple one. How many of such problems, these kind of problems, have you fixed by now? A handful? Chances are it's more than the number of hairs on your head. That many. And yet, it's never the end of it. Right? It's like when you're hungry, what do you do? What do you do? You eat. Do you think eating is a solution to the problem of hunger? The thing is, we've always learned that that was the solution. When you are hungry, you eat. It's not a solution, really. It's only a we call it a plaster. It's just a plaster over the bone. It doesn't fix the problem. Because if that was the solution, ladies and gentlemen, then once you fix it, it should be fixed for good. Therefore, eating is not the answer. Might be the answer, it's just not the solution. That's what I say, the distinction between an answer and a solution. An answer is a temporary fix. It's a plaster. But a solution fixes the problem for good and it's gone. Never to come back. So is eating the solution to hunger? Why not? Because six hours later? Not six? Ah, okay, sorry. Three, two, one? It depends, right? So however many hours later, you're hungry again. Therefore, you have to again go somewhere, work hard, try and find the food that you need, cook it, wash it, all that. Eat, chew, swallow, right? Go through the whole system, whole process again to feed yourself. How many such problems do you have to go through in the course of a day, a week, a month? See, now we are this is the start of a new year. Of the new year? Yeah. You have another 50 more to go. In each one of those, what will you have to do? Keep finding fixes the same problems that you did the previous year. Hunger, bills, neighbors, relations, family, colleagues, you name it, children, spouse, says problems. Traffic, public transport, weather. What if another one comes? Economy, politics, the country, all this the floating rupee, all these problems. The very problems that you fixed last year. What did you do in 2025? Fixing problems. 24? 23? You are Mirkeeper? 1996. Still fixing problems. So how old are you now? Don't answer it loud. That many years of doing what, ladies and gentlemen? Fixing problems. How successful do you feel as a human being? I ask you now, how successful do you feel as a problem solver? Do you feel accomplished? Do you feel like you have achieved the ultimate solution? After how many years are you going to realize that this kind of problem solving is not going to work? How many more years shall we keep trying? See, the problem is not in your effort. It's not. You're very hardworking individuals. You're very diligent, you're very conscientious, and you're very you apply yourself so diligently and so meticulously. There's no question about that. I can see that, and I know a little bit about how hardworking you are, how industrious you are. And I know about a little bit about all that, but the problem is not about the solutions. It's the fact that you haven't understood the problem yet. In your gardens, from time to time you have weed. Don't you? Weed in the garden. So when you have a weed problem, what do you do? What do you do? You uproot it. Why do you uproot it rather than just pruning it? You know, take a pair of scissors, just go pruning them, right? Should solve the problem. No? No? No? But that's what you do in every other aspect of life. So you're a better gardener than a life's problem solver. See, in the garden, when you have a wheat problem, you have the sense, the knowledge, the wisdom, the insight to know that just pruning this won't fix the problem. So what do you do? You carefully put your fingers right down to the soil, right, where the stem is attached to the soil, and then carefully, you might even just move the soil out of the way, just to make sure that none of the root system still remains in the ground, and you pull it out, don't you? Yeah, and then you make sure you put it somewhere where it doesn't root itself again. Now that is what we call a solution. You know from experience that if you do that once, it's done. Why do you take a different approach to other aspects of life? Just ask me, why? Is that so difficult? I mean, the the concept, the principle, is that so complicated that to get to a solution, you have to uproot it. Meaning you have to fix the problem at its roots. Makes sense, doesn't it? That's why the lawnmower does not stop the grass. If you want to stop grass from growing, you've still got to go and pull the whole thing out of the soil at its roots. But when it comes to life, we seem to have a different philosophy. So when are we going to say, take the common sense that we have in the garden, indoors? Because inside your house, now this is outside, but as you're walking through your front door, inside the house, when you have a problem with your family, when you have a problem on the phone, you just got on off the phone with someone, or you have problems at work, you have a very different principle, very different philosophy. That is, you try and just fix it for now. That's why at the dining table you just say, please can you sit me somewhere else? And that is why after so many years of so-called problem solving, you still have the problems right where you are when you started. And here's what else happens: you teach these principles to your offspring, and they to theirs, and they to theirs, and so forth. So, therefore, we have a generation of human beings who have no idea how to solve problems. Yet we have a generation of human beings who are good gardeners. Therefore, where our gardens have thrived, and in our gardens only grow the best of crops. In our lives, it's full of weeds. Isn't your life full of weeds? The weeds of disappointment, the weeds of despair, the weeds of anguish, the weeds of frustration? See, your life is full of weeds. So what shall we do? Shall we keep doing what we are so good at, or shall we take a different approach? You tell me. Either way, I'll teach you whatever it is you want to know. If you want to learn how to keep on doing what you're doing, but just do it better, I will bring examples from my lay life. And then we can do some knowledge sharing. I can tell you how I used to solve those problems. You can give me some of yours, right? And then we'll be on an equal level. And I'll get off this dharmasana because it is not suitable for me to sit down here and share with you how I solved my problems back in my lay life. I'll take that seat, just remove the white cloth. If anything, I'll come out of this robe and wear a sarong or something and we'll talk. But why are we here now? You have come to some recognition, some acknowledgement, at least a little bit, that there's something wrong with the way that you solve your problems. Give me a show of hands if you have children. Children. I also have children. Almost 300 now. I have an army of children. That's what I have. Okay, thank you. So many of you do have children. Are you a better gardener? Or are you a better parent? Which one are you better at? Confess, right? Confession time. To those who have more than one child. Surely you must have learned once, right? You made some mistakes the first time, then you learned. We don't usually do a second time until unless we have learned something from the previous attempt. Surely. See, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Come on. I'm friends. We are we're friends here, right? So usually when you take a second attempt, right? You learn your lessons from the previous time, lessons learned, and you get your lessons learned, and then you implement your second time. So what happened the second time? Same? Same. Same as the first time. So we got it wrong the first time. That I can forgive. Just be fair, no previous experience. So you take a second attempt. Even in the general exams, you get three shays, right? So the first shy didn't work. Second shy. Before you take the second shy, you at least take a few extra classes. You do more papers, more past papers. At least now you have that paper as well, the one you failed. That can also serve as a past paper, right? You go for more tuition. You put in a little bit more effort because you realize that the previous crime didn't work out. And then you take a second attempt. And hopefully the second time it works out and you get a pass. But it failed. Okay, right? Let's not despair because we still have a third attempt. So we went for a third attempt. Because, you know, this is good, this is a good conversation because there are those who still stopped at two, right? And hopefully, if we can share some of our knowledge and experience, the three timers, the third timers, if we can share with the second timers, right? We are doing them a service, right? So the third timers, let's let's share our knowledge and experience with the others. So then we went for a third attempt. Then what happened? What should we have done? Taken the lessons from the first one and the second one and gone for the third part. Right? So then by this time, here's what I hope is the situation at home. Now that you have your third child, you don't get angry anymore. Yeah? Because you go angry the first and second time, you learn from it, you grew from it, right? So now you don't get angry anymore. You don't get frustrated anymore. Right when the child doesn't eat, it doesn't bother you. Just like eat if you want, otherwise, you know, sort of, don't care. They don't annoy you anymore, right? Because you've grown now, you've learned, right? First shy, second shy, this is the third shy. But the garden? The garden's thriving. We have our flower beds blossoming. Not a single weed. And even if there was the odd weed, you would know exactly what to do with it. You would uproot it like it was going out of fashion, right? And it would never grow again. You know, the weeds are scared to grow in your flower beds because they know that if they do, they'll have to pay with their lives. Right? But our philosophy inside the house is very different. How come you have this discrepancy? How come you have a different philosophy in your garden? Why don't we take the intelligence that we have in the garden to our lives?

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Thank you for joining us on the Art of Being Happy from Chaitavanarama Buddhist Monastery. May today's wisdom bring you peace and joy in your daily life. We'd love to hear how these talks have touched your life. Share your experiences with us on Plus91-6361803371. Until next time, may you find happiness in each present moment. Brought to you by Sanatanavani, the Voice Eternal.