The Broken Philosophy of Happiness

We have always known happiness that comes at a price or suffering. We have all experienced good days and bad days. The worse the bad days are, the better the good days are. We believe that there is no happiness without suffering. We have been conditioned to believe in this broken philosophy of happiness.  

Beyond this broken philosophy of happiness, something else exists – true happiness. A true sense of happiness that doesn’t waver; that doesn’t come with suffering in the equation. The real question is, can we break free from the broken philosophy of happiness and realise true happiness? If yes, how? Stay tuned to learn more!  

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to The Art of Being Happy, Buddha's Guide to Modern Living from Jetavanarama Buddhist Monastery, Sri Lanka. This intriguing talk series brings timeless Buddhist wisdom to help you navigate life's challenges through simple practical insights. Each episode offers gentle guidance for finding peace and joy in everyday moments. Join us on this journey toward lasting happiness and inner peace. Brought to you by Sanatana Dani, the voice eternal.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

What I'm trying to explain to you is this, and the objective of this explanation is this. You have always enjoyed a happiness that has come at the price of suffering. You've never known a happiness without suffering. I'm sorry to say, you've never known one. I challenge you if you can come and show me a happiness that does not depend on the absence of suffering. These two things have to go hand in hand. I challenge you, if you can come and show me and point at me one example, if possible, where you can have happiness but no suffering at all, whenever you knock on the door of happiness, you must remember that on the other side you will also find suffering. Take any example, Island. Now at home, in your relationships, husband, wife relationships, parents, children relationships, you will have good days and bad days. I've been there, so I know what it's like. There are always good days and bad days. The good days are made better. How? How are the good days made better? When the bad days are made worse, the worse the bad days are, the better the good days are. So after a long fight, not just you know, just say, you know, like those little things that you say, not that, like when you have a real, you know, really have a go at each other, like it's like it's wrestling at home. And when you have to like send the children away for a couple of days because you really want to have a proper go at each other and just you know get it out all of your chest, right? So many issues that you have to settle. And after that, after the fight is done, right? And then you hug each other and come into each other's embrace and you go, I'm sorry. Or your eyes full of tears, and you say, you know, I'm I I love you though, you know that, right? Sentimental, yes, but still, that that recovery, that recuperation, that repair. There's nothing to be embarrassed about because this is what we all do, and this is what we all do. Nothing to be embarrassed about. The only thing you need to be embarrassed about is not the fact that you go through these things, it's the fact that you don't understand why it happens. That is the only thing to be embarrassed about. And your constant and relentless and never-ending pursuit of the same kind of happiness. I just want you to come out of that, ladies and gentlemen. I don't want you to come out of your relationships. No. Remain married. Look, if I care. I mean, see, if I care, I I don't I don't care. Remain married if you want, have children, do whatever. But I'm my only concern is about your philosophy. Your philosophy of happiness is is flawed. If you're constantly on the lookout for a happiness that can be permanently yours, that cannot be so because that kind of happiness only exists in ironically non-existence. When you lose something and then you find it again, does that not make you happy? To experience that joy again, what must you do? Many a time I've shared with you as personal experiences, or when I lost a pair of keys. But you will have plenty of examples of your own. And the more expensive it is, the more precious it is, the better the joy that comes out of it, right? See? Because why is that so? You know, if you just lose a pen or something, you don't even care. You just get another pen and write. But what if it's the pen that your grandfather gave you before he passed away? Now it has much more value. It has a sentimental value. The more you value something, the more you put yourself at risk. And you think that this value is directly proportional to the happiness that you're going to get out of it. No, but that's not the direct formula. The formula is this: the more you value, the more you suffer. And the more you suffer, the more you can relieve yourself from suffering, and that is what you experience as happiness. There's a middle part that you tend to miss, the suffering part. We often think the more we value it is, the more happiness we get. But you see that you miss that middle part. That's not how it happens. Do you not find yourself sometimes looking for things desperately? Not you know, cannot remember where you put it last time you used it? Maybe it's money, maybe it's the checkbook, maybe it's your pair of keys, a bunch of keys, maybe it's your spectacles, maybe it's your, I don't know, your wedding ring or something. Maybe it's your husband, you put him somewhere, you can't find him. Yeah, if it's a child, you're out in the shopping, right on the streets and your child goes missing all of a sudden. Mothers, many nods in the room. So you you know you've been there, you've done that. I mean, you know, how many times have you seen your child? Of course, you've seen your child millions of times. But the moment you see your child after your child goes missing, and then someone brings your child up to your is this your child? That experience? You have to be a mother to have that experience, right? And you can't just be a mother, your child must go missing. So if you want to experience that joy as mothers, what must you do? Have your children go missing from time to time. See, is that the happiness you want? You want this happiness. On the other side is suffering. Why do you sign up for that? Why do you stoop yourself so low? Why do you discredit your intelligence? Why do you insult your wisdom and your ability to achieve a happiness where you can simply get rid of suffering altogether? See, this happiness has to be maintained, that's what I'm saying. You must always push away this from it turning the other way. You must always keep it like this. Because nature will always try and put chaos back into your life, and you have to keep pushing on this. Therefore, this energy must always be exerted. Aren't you tired? How many years have you been doing this? The gray hairs on your head is evidence that you've been doing this for so many years. When are you going to win? In this game, there are no victors, only victims. So even if you get this side, don't think that you have won. That's why when people say we won the war. That 30-year-old long war, people say we won the war. No. Because it's only a matter of time. We'll be back here again. And then what will the government do? What will people who will have lost by then want to do again? Again, push this round and bring back freedom. What freedom? They think this is freedom. This is not freedom. Because it's just on the other side. You just don't see it. It's waiting for its turn to turn around and come back to you. True freedom is this. That's why the Buddha talks about this, the four noble truths. See, what are the four noble truths? Suffering. The cause of suffering. What is the cause of suffering? Not this, not this facing you. That's not the cause of suffering. Because when you believe that this facing you is the cause of suffering, what do you try and do? Turn it around. That is not what the Buddha said. He said attachment was the cause of suffering. Not misfortune coming your way. That is not the cause of suffering. Then he said the cessation of suffering. And then the path to cessation of suffering, the path to the cessation of the cause of suffering, to put it more precisely. Nowhere does he talk about happiness, does he? And you thought the Buddha would give you happiness. See? Suffering, cause of suffering, cessation of suffering, and the path to cessation of suffering. Where's happiness? I mean that's a foul leave. You come to this asleep looking for happiness, and there's no happiness to be found. The Buddha speaks of no happiness at all. That's because there's no such thing called happiness. All there is is the presence or the absence of suffering. There's not a third state called happiness. There's only the presence or the absence of suffering. So those who claim to be happy, those who have navigated this path and reached the destination, it is not that they have somehow found this happiness that was there at the end of the tunnel or at the end of the path. It's not that it's there and we have to go and get it. It's not there. It's simply that they have ceased suffering. Suffering has been uprooted. Suffering has been terminated. And then the state where there is no suffering, that if we want, we can choose to call happiness. But actually, it is not happiness at all. It's nothing. So where is this happiness that we can go and find? In the supermarket? In some other part of the world? Shall we go traveling? Is it in the Bahamas? Or in the Maldives? In the States? Or is it in somewhere in Sri Lanka? So why do people come here? Tourists, why do people visit our country? I mean, we are a hotspot destination for tourism, right? People come here looking for happiness. So this story, don't let it out, because they won't let me do the Sunday servant again. The whole of our economy to work, tourists must keep coming to our country. We have to give them hospitality, we have to give them tourism, ecotourism, you might call it, wildlife, adventure, right? Our food, our music, our dance, and all these things. But all of that is because of what? Back home, they didn't like their work. And so they wanted a vacation, a holiday. They didn't like that food. They didn't like to be with their own people. They didn't like the weather, they didn't like the work, they didn't like whatever. Therefore, what did they do? They took some money, went to the tour operator, or travel operator, and said, Please can you book me on a holiday? So what did they do? They turned this around like this. Do you think if they decided to stay in Sri Lanka forever, they would enjoy it as much as they do when they come here on holiday? Would they? No. Where's the evidence to that? Or rather, who's the evidence to that? The Sri Lankans. Because what do the Sri Lankans do? They go, they go away. They go away. Because to them, Sri Lanka is this. Do you see that happiness cannot be served on a plate? It's not there at the end of a flight. It's not a destination that you can go and land and be there and be happy for the rest of your life. It's not at the end of a relationship. It's not in a relationship. It's not in the fridge. It's not in a bottle. It cannot be gifted to someone wrapped in a nice wrapping paper. It's not in Unavatuna, sorry. It's not in Yala. It's not in Candy. Oh, in Waleria. It's not by the beach. It's not in Hamptana. Because all of those places, there are people who live there, and what do they do? What do they do? Yeah. The people who live in Gaul, where do they go when they want a holiday? They go elsewhere. See? That's what I say, ladies and gentlemen. Therefore, everyone's trying to do something to be happy. This doing something to be happy is a broken philosophy. If you are really happy, you must be able to not do anything. If you are still if you still find yourself doing something to be happy, sorry, you're not happy yet, you still haven't discovered the philosophy of happiness. Simple as that. If you still find yourself doing something to be happy, whether it's reading a book, the next Harry Potter book comes out and you read it. And then you're happy. And while you're reading it, you're happy. Then you haven't discovered the philosophy of happiness. The next TV series comes out on Netflix and you're watching that and you say you're happy. No, that's not happiness. Because life torments you, you sit in front of the TV and watch it. Means you haven't discovered happiness yet. If you go and have some Chinese or go to an Indian restaurant, or order it, or have a pizza, and then while you are doing that, you are happy. That's not true happiness. If that were true, then people who make pizzas must be eating that every day, and they don't. They don't know that. I'm only saying these things because I want you to question yourself, not me. I want you to question yourself. Is this how I live my life? Have I found the true philosophy of happiness? Isn't that what I was born for? To discover the true philosophy of happiness. Because after all, isn't that what I invest my entire life doing? Trying to find happiness? Isn't that why I go to work? Isn't that why I got married? Isn't that why I had children? Isn't that why I educated myself? Isn't that why I went abroad? Isn't that why I came back once I went there and realized that no, it wasn't for me? Isn't that why you're here? Isn't that why you buy an ice cream on a hot day? And a hot coffee on a cold day? Isn't that why? Because you're looking for happiness. Isn't that why you can't wait for the next album to be released by your favorite music artist? Isn't that why you go to the art galleries? Isn't that why? Isn't that why you hope you would win the lottery? So that you can get a lot of money, so that you can try and do all these things while you still have life left. Isn't that why you're waiting to upgrade your car to the next model, to the next version, to the next make? Isn't that why you're waiting for the next iPhone? Isn't that why you're always waiting? What are you waiting for? Because you think happiness will always come to you in the next moment. Happiness is like that carrot in front of the. You say it in front of the ah, thank you. Wouldn't be nice for me to say it, right? I'm here, ladies and gentlemen, to talk to you and remind you that this is what's going on with your lives, and you need to come out of it somehow, not for my sake, but for your sake. I pulled the plug and I came out of that rat race. This is not talking about me in my monastic life or being a monk, it's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about my life's philosophy. Not about my lifestyle, talking about my life's philosophy. The day I realized that happiness does not come in these experiences. That's the day my life began. I found the true purpose of living. Until then, actually, I was dead. I was dead until then. I hadn't made proper use of my life. I was dead. I was just doing what people told me to do. That day must come to all of you. If not today, with tomorrow. The day must come to all of you where you are reborn and you realize the purpose of your life. This pursuit of happiness that you call life, you've got to rethink it. So happiness does not come at the end of the Talan. Happiness, pure happiness, unconditional happiness, does not exist. On hearing that, if you are utterly disappointed, then you haven't got what I've tried to explain so far. It is actually not a cause for disappointment. It's a cause for joy. The fact that you don't need to go anywhere, do anything to find happiness. I mean, that's good news. That's the best piece of news you've ever you've heard all your life. Because all this while, what have you heard? That happiness is on the other side. Greener pastures on the other side. Make effort and go and find happiness. Do this, do that, do the other and find happiness. That is why your life has always been so effortful. And you've had to put in so much time and energy and effort and all that, always trying to turn this around. But happiness should be effortless. To be effortless, it has to be something that you don't have to work on. That is the happiness that we speak of. It's the moment you free your mind from desire. How do you free your mind from desire? First comes this understanding that I've just shared with you. You have to want to be in a state free of desire. So your first desire should be to be free of desire. To be free of desire. If you desire to be free of desire, then now you're on the path. But people don't live their lives wanting to be free of desire. They like their desires. They just want whatever they desire to be with them, to have that, to collect that, to acquire that. That's what people want. Most people want that. But the day that you come in your life, the day this comes into your life where you realize that actually true happiness comes when I'm free of desire. Then your only desire becomes to get to a state where you are free of desire. That is the only desire. Keep in that desire all other desires you can eradicate. You keep this desire, the desire to eradicate all other desires. This is what we call chanda. It's one of the Irithipatha. It's a requirement for you to fulfill the noble path. Chanda chitta viriya vi mansa. These are four four of those qualities that you need. This is called Chanda. Chanda means your desire to be free of desire. But you can understand, you must understand it's a different kind of desire. It's not the same as all these other mundane desires. It's a very special kind of desire. So much so that it feels almost wrong to call it desire. It's not a craving. It's not a craving. It's not greed. It's a resolve to be free of desire. Here's what I want you all to be able to do to make progress on this journey. If at the end of this sermon, you have come through realization that true happiness will only come to you the day you are free of desire. At least if you have come to that realization, then this sermon would have been worth its time, worth its effort. Whether you accept it or not, that is a huge realization. That's a massive realization in itself. Because the majority of the human race does not understand this truth. That true happiness comes when all desires. People think when all desires are satisfied, that's where happiness comes. Happiness comes where there are no desires.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Thank you for joining us on The Art of Being Happy from Chaitavanarama Buddhist Monastery. May today's wisdom bring you peace and joy in your daily life. We'd love to hear how these talks have touched your life. Share your experiences with us on Plus91-6361-803371. Until next time, may you find happiness in each present moment. Brought to you by Sanat Navani, the Voice Eternal.