Shift Inside. Flourish Outside.

Transformation sounds inspiring until life gets in the way. It is easy to agree with the idea that our outer reality reflects our inner state, but shifting your internal mindset when facing persistent setbacks, emotional burnout, or unexpected obstacles is far from simple. When struggles pile up, simply telling yourself to "vibe higher" or "be kind" can feel overwhelming, leaving many to abandon their personal growth journey halfway through. 

This podcast is designed to help you navigate those exact moments of doubt and exhaustion. Rather than offering superficial quick fixes, we dive into practical, grounded strategies to help you unpack inner resistance, overcome mid-journey fatigue, and stay anchored in your true self, even when obstacles arise.  

Tune in to discover actionable insights that turn self-reflection into lasting strength and help you build an outer world you truly love. 

Share your experience with us on WhatsApp at +916361803371

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to The Art of Being Happy, Buddha's Guide to Modern Living from Jetavanarama Buddhist Monastery, Sri Lanka. This intriguing talk series brings Timeless Buddhist wisdom to help you navigate life's challenges through simple practical insights. Each episode offers gentle guidance for finding peace and joy in everyday moments. Join us on this journey toward lasting happiness and inner peace. Brought to you by Sanatanadani, the voice eternal.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

I always point my finger at myself and say, I change and the whole world will change. That is the path I note in Imburnance. I change. If people are always doing bad things to you, if you end up always getting the stick for things, right? Perhaps it's time you change your attitude about things. If you are so misfortunate that only bad things ever happen to you and bad people always come your way, maybe you ought to change. Maybe you're the one who wants to change. You know, bees don't fly around turds. You know what a turd is? Droppings. Bees don't fly around turds, they fly around flowers. What you have around turd is a blue butterfly. The flies are where the turds are. The bees are where the fly where the where the flowers are. So if you want to be someone who wants to attract the bees, then be like a flour. If only bad things ever happen to you, if only bad people ever come to you, then you've got to take a long look at yourself and ask yourself this question: who am I? Why is it that just bad people always come to me? I must be an attractor, a magnet for bad people. So then maybe I'm the one who's bad. See, this is the transformation we need. I want to make in this world. In as many or as few people as I possibly can. By coming here, you have given me a chance, an opportunity to make an impact, to heal a few more hearts. Your presence here is important in that way. Because I know you're not just one person behind you, there's a family. That's why last week I encourage you to talk, discuss amongst your family what did you learn from today? What things did you take from today? What do you think about what Swami Nasa said on the way back home? Say no, do you think what he's saying is practical? Do you think what he's saying is doable? Is it feasible? Does it make sense? Is it logical? He talks about vexation. He says that happiness or the pleasure that we experience only comes after a relief from vexation. Is that true? Question. Question everything. If we are not open-minded, we are nothing at all. A good Buddhist has to be open-minded, doesn't take anything at face battle. Be grateful for the people who spend their life with you. Your family, last of all. Your family, you know, for all your weaknesses, for all your faults, for all your idiosyncrasies, for all your ways, for all your mannerisms and your means, right? And how your queerness for all that, they still put up with you, don't they? Would you put up with yourself? In your darkest moments, when you're not feeling positive at all, when you're just feeling like, you know, the whole world's against you, when you're feeling so upset and agitated and annoyed, and you're so bothered and you won't let anyone come to you, you don't want to talk with anyone, you just want to be by yourself. Would you be with someone like that? Would you want to? You know you wouldn't want to be with someone like that. They don't exude positivity. You know, they're not someone who you would want to be with, but you know, say your family, they still put up with you. And it's not just because they're family. Because these days, you know, in this day and age, if you are a part, it's very easily achievable. Your husband doesn't just put up with you because he's your husband. Maybe 30, 40, 50 years ago, perhaps, but not now. Your wife doesn't just put up with you because she's your wife, because she has to. It's not just because of the honor of the family, it's not just because of the children. No. She does so, he does so because he thinks about you. They make that sacrifice, they have jivanat for your happiness. Let's be grateful for that. You know, I I I ask every husband and wife listening to this, when you go to bed, that's night, you know, fissa good night. There's nothing wrong with that and being a good Buddhist. It's perfectly fine. Just kiss her good night, as you did, you know, when you first got married. There's nothing non-Buddhist about that. You're just being it's a sign of gratitude. That's what it is. Not carnal lust. That's not what I'm talking about. A kiss on the forehead does no harm to anybody. You know, from time to time, thank her for being the mother to your children. Let's not forget that. And it doesn't have to just be on Mother's Day. You know, fine, let there be a Mother's Day, but I think, you know, it's just again consumerism. Let there be a Mother's Day, it's fine. But you know, the the very fact that today we need a day in the calendar for us to go and appreciate our mothers, it's just sad. The fact that people have forgotten that they have a mother, they have to be grateful for their mothers so much so that we have to have a Mother's Day in the calendar so that people are reminded to go and be thankful to their mother is just pathetic, I think. Don't need to be like that. What's the wife's day? Where's the wife's day? Is that the anniversary? You know, every day is an anniversary. Be thankful to your wife just for being by your side. You know, she puts up with everything that you throw at her, doesn't she? Wives, huh? She puts up with everything you throw at her. The good days and the bad days, all of it. When you're feeling really down and you just have to have someone to have a go at, who has to take it all? She does. And she'll take it all. She'll stomach all of it. She'll bring you a tea, she'll bring you a hot chocolate, she'll make you your lunch, she'll do your dishes, she'll wash your clothes. You say, now Saminas at home we have the washing machines. Uh Swamias, now we have a maid. Yeah, well, fine. You have the maid that does that. Thank her as well. But that's besides the point. Your maid can never replace your wife. Your maid will leave you when you stop paying her. She will. You can't go and have a go at your maid. She'll file a lawsuit against you. But you know the amount that wives put up with? Just be grateful. Just be grateful that she is the source of your merits. Whatever good you might have done to others, she brings them to you. You know, you don't get a meal for nothing. Right? Today, this glass of water is here. This water is here because I have given. But someone decided to come and offer it to me. It is because of your offering I am today able to rejoice and enjoy the gifts that I gave once. In the same way, you are able to have a hearty meal because she makes sure that it is there for you when you get back home. Wives, be grateful to your husbands. She's the protector of the family. He's always there to guard you, to take care of you. Not another man can set his eyes on you because he's always there, watching now. Always protecting you, safeguarding you, and you and the children. He's the reason you can sleep at night without a worry or a fear. He's always there. If ever there's a problem at home, you all you have to do is call the boss. Even if he said if he's at work, just call the boss. Then he'll do whatever he can. Sometimes he'll, you know, make some arrangements at work and say, I have to dip, you know, quickly sit home for a couple of minutes, I'll be right back. They'll do all sorts. Whatever they can. This is the pride of the family. So, you know, let's be grateful. There's no husband's day in the calendar, but let's take a moment to appreciate what they do. So, she sin good night. When you wake up in the morning, say good morning, honey. It's fine. There's nothing non-Buddhist about that. That's all very Buddhist. Trust me. Until I left my lay life, that is how I treated my wife. There's nothing non-buddhist about that. Being grateful to your husband, to your wife, is it non-Buddhist? What's non-buddhist about that? Gratitude is a virtue, and that is the virtue on top of which all other things are built. You know, one who is grateful to their wife, to their husband, to their mother, to their father, will one day recognize the gratitude that they ought to have to him. If you can't recognize the gratitude you need to have to your family, to your teachers, to the postman, to the milkman, to your teachers, to who paves the roads, to who mends it, to cleans the road, to the person who washes the toilets, you know, we will never be great enough to understand and appreciate the greatness that the Lord Buddha showed us. So in every opportunity in life, every moment you get, if there is someone who does something for you, let's not get into that crooked way of thinking where we believe that they only do it because there's something in it for them. Even if it is so that they only do it because there is something in it for them, that's not for us to think. Then do it because they do it just for them. But for us, we need to see the greater good there. Let's be greater than they are in that way. Let's fill our hearts with greatness. There, you know, there'll be the janitors who clean the toilets for you here. So you can use those toilets. If you bump into them, thank them. Make sure you do that. You know, let the staff who work at the school, be them the teachers or maybe the staff or you know, the caretakers, let them let them recognize that, you know, these people like they who come here on a Sunday morning, you know, there's something different about them. I see something in you, but I don't know what it is. Let them see that. Let them feel that. Let them feel that you're special. Because I tell you what, you know, most people who will get out of a good, nice, brand new luxury car, will only look down upon them. That is what they're used to. They'll look down on them. They know them as the snobs that they are. Let's not be that. And I know you're not that, so please don't think I'm making any insult. No. But let's make them realize that the sacrifice they make coming here on a Sunday morning, allowing us to make use of these facilities, allowing us to engage in the way we do, sharing amongst ourselves the goodness and the greatness that we all bring here, let them rejoice in that. Let them be glad that they have given up being with their family on a Sunday morning to come here for a great bunch of people. Let them look forward to a Sunday morning. How about that? So as you walk out, you know, walk drive past the security people out there, right? Give them a nod. Give them a smile. Say thank you if you can. If they're far too busy to reply, so be, it's fine. I'll try it in next week. There will be occasions, don't expect them to do it the same for you in return. Don't they're not the ones here, you are the ones here. They're out there looking after your vehicles. They don't get to hear what I've said to you. You do. You know, in doing so, we can heal those hearts, can't we? Remember, they've all got problems. All the problems that we have, they have. Maybe sometimes ten times more. If you have money problems, ladies and gentlemen, just imagine what sort of problems they must have. If you are struggling to make ends meet, just imagine how much of a struggle life must be for them. So much so that the only thing they can do is stay out there, sometimes in the scorching sun, sometimes maybe not a drop of water, you know, and if it gets busy, they don't have the time to even go to a washroom. You know, that is the work that they have to do. You can't say I had to go to the washroom so I don't know how their car blew up. You can't say that. You can't say that. Be kind to the bus driver, to the conductor, who makes your journey possible. They may not treat you like, you know, a first-class citizen, but perhaps they know they won't they won't give you that royal treatment, but it's fine. Let's make sure that they realize that in this world there are some people who are just a little bit different. Not everyone's the same. Let's not expect from others what we can't give them. Let's expect from others what we give them. That is what I want from these talks. That transformation that happens within you, and you become a blessing to the people around you. I want you to be a wonderful mother. I want you to be a wonderful mother. I want you to be the best mother your child could ever have hoped for. I want you to be that. This is not asking you to come and be a monk. No. If destiny would have it, then it'll be so. Let's let Vipaka decide that. Let's let destiny decide that. There's no rush. And to be a good Buddhist, you don't have to be a monk. I'm glad for this, it's grateful for this question. You know, talking about some of the issues that people have in their lives and family problems and the challenges that they have, health problems and various concerns, and how it's causing mental distress. Perhaps, you know, this is what might have been missing in your life. Whenever you're in distress, see if you can find someone else who is and go and talk to bed. See if you can help someone come out of bed. I know it's gonna be difficult, but we are not here for the easy things. We are here to make a change. How does a mother start to lactate? She looks at the baby in her hand and she realizes the baby needs milk. And what happens? She begins to lactate. See how much love can do? It's not that the mother wants milk, it's the baby who needs the milk. But when you have so much love and compassion and kindness to others, what they need starts to flow through you. That is the teaching of the Buddha. That is why I don't charge you anything. I come here and I know what you need. I know that you have these problems. I know you have challenges in life. I know that there are distresses that bother you, there are things that worry you. So when I come here, then I open my eyes and I look at you. Like a motherless as a at a child. I make a resort. I do. So I don't know where the Dhamma comes from. I'm as happy to listen to this sermon as you are because I don't know what I have to say at the beginning. This is not a prepared speech. I promise you that. Ask me what I was gonna talk to you about today. I asked him what did we do last week? As we were waiting for you to prepare yourselves up here. And then he kindly reminded me, Swami Nazar, last week you said discuss amongst themselves what we've done and talk about vexation and wanting and how we can relate all of it together. That's what I thought I was gonna come and talk to you about today. But there we go. But I know people have these problems. The challenges, family issues, world-related problems, they weigh heavily on people's minds. And I think that is representative of all of you. If not most of you. Everyone's got problems. So when I come here and I look at you and I and I want to help you, so the Dhamma starts to flow. Let's all be like that. This is not a miracle, I promise you. This is not a magic. I'm not a special person, I'm not a special human being, you know. This is not some supernatural power, or I'm not, you know, somehow spiritually more advanced. No, I'm just a very, very normal human being. If you cut me, you're gonna see the same red blood as you would yourself. I'm a very normal human being. I breathe like you, I eat like you, I walk like you, I just dress a little bit differently. That's all. I'm just like you. I came out of my mother just as you did out of yours. We went to the same schools, we we breathed the same air, we walked under the same skies and on the same ground. Perhaps you and I, you're probably on the same bus one day. Who knows? We just didn't know each other then. Yeah, I'm just a very normal human being. See, today I'm able to talk to all of you and inspire you to greatness. I want you all to understand how much greatness you can give to people out there. People need you, ladies and gentlemen, they need you. It's not their money they need. That's not what they need. There will be some who might want it. Why? But what they need is your humanity. They need your greatness, they need your kindness, your gentleness. Give them that and give it unreservedly. Give it wholeheartedly. Become a blessing to others. Let people rejoice in your presence. Let they look live, make them look forward to seeing you, to talking to you, to being with you. When people have a problem, may they always think of you. They don't always have to come rushing to the temple. What if in you they see a temple? How great would that be? You know, if you are the guy who your friends always go to talk to when they have a problem, wow. That's soft to you. Well done. If in the family, you know, the sisters, the cousins, when they have a problem, when they have worries and concerns, if you are the person they come to talk to for counsel, for advice, for good guidance, well done. You know, that's that's remarkable. You might think nothing of it, but don't take it lightly. It's such an achievement. Because not all the money in the world can buy people happiness. Don't you agree? The richest man who died. Died crying. Died shedding tears of sorrow. The richest man. If you ever read Steve Jobs' biography, who was known to be one of the richest men alive, you know, in his last days, we read maybe the last few chapters. I'll paraphrase him. He said, you know, today he realizes that every pursuit that he made to achieve the riches that he did has not really helped him find the happiness that he wanted in life. But today, our young people, they look up to people like that, they are icons in their lives. And there's nothing wrong with that if all you're looking for is material success. But what I'm saying is, material success is not going to give you the happiness in mind. The happy heart doesn't come from that. A full stomach maybe, but not a happy heart. A happy heart comes in helping other people be happy. That is how one can be happy. Be a blessing to others and help as many people walk out of the problems of their lives. You know, if you are an employer who pays his employees, right? Make them feel that they are coming into their workplace not just because you pay them, as you give them their paycheck, thank them as well. Because they have left their families at home and they've come to work for you. Our connections, our relationships among human beings doesn't have to be always one that has a dollar sign. It doesn't always have to be a business contract. Pay them because they need the money. They need to pay their bills just as we do. But as you give them that paycheck, you know, give it with both hands. That is our greatness. Let them see that greatness within you. At our monastery, we always do that. Whether you are a monk or a layperson, it matters not to us. If you ever offer me a glass of water or this piece of paper, I will always hold both hands, shake it with both hands, or at least hold one hand with the other. That is what we learn. Because you know, it's a human being who's giving this to me, not an animal. Someone's giving something to me. This is not poison, it's a glass of water. So if I can't give you by example, in gratitude and gratefulness, then why do I preach it? If I don't practice what I preach, what a hypocrite I would be. He is always there, right on time. As he opens the door, the first words you hear from is Teruansanaimatar. It doesn't have to be him greeting me always. Why can't I greet him first? Because I'm a monk? As a monk, am I somehow him? We don't have a social status. Because what the the the real measure of greatness in this world, you know, other virtues. Sila Samadya and Tragna. Sila is how cool you are, the coolness within your heart. That is sila. Some of this, you know, to what extent you can apply the dhamma. Tragna is your wisdom. And if you can't see with me, within me, the kindness that I preach you or I preach to you, then I'm not someone who practices what I preach. How can I expect you to be to aspire to that those ideals if I don't exude them in my behavior? So I'm not I don't come here and pretend. I am this, this is me, whatever. So that is what I want. As we come here as a congregation, we are forced for good, we are forced for greatness, be ambassadors of greatness of humanity. That's why it matters not whether you're a Muslim or or a Christian or a Jew or a Buddhist, because here we transcend all religious segregations. Matters not to us. Here we're all one human race. Whether you're black or white, I don't care. Local or foreign, who man, who cares? If you are if you are a mind that suffers, then I have the medicine. I have the medicine because my teachers showed me how.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

Thank you for joining us on The Art of Being Happy from Caitavanarama Buddhist Monastery. May today's wisdom bring you peace and joy in your daily life. We'd love to hear how these talks have touched your life. Share your experiences with us on Plus91-6361 803371. Until next time, may you find happiness in each present moment. Brought to you by Sanatanavani, the Voice Eternal.