121 - 30 Years Later... Couple Goals & Fails

The one where Fern & Nat rewind, fast-forward, and occasionally hit pause on three decades of love, chaos, growth, and “what were we thinking?” moments. From the couple wins that made us feel like relationship superheroes  to the fails that had us side-eyeing each other across the room… nothing is off limits.

We talk about:

• The small habits that actually kept us strong 

• The arguments that aged like expired milk 

• How we changed… and somehow stayed the same

• Parenting, priorities, and partnership evolution

• The funny fails that turned into lifelong inside jokes 

• Why laughter might be the real secret sauce 

It’s honest, a little chaotic, and full of the kind of banter only 30 years can build. Whether you’re in year one, year ten, or just here for the stories, this episode is a reminder that relationships aren’t perfect… they’re perfectly unpredictable.

Grab your favorite cup of coffee, settle in, and join us for **Couple Goals & Couple Fails — 30 Years Later.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome back to Limitless Table Talk, where time goes on and on and on and on and on. And we're still here. Yeah, I'm Fern.

SPEAKER_04 0:13

I'm Nat. So grab your favorite cup of coffee, tea, or whatever emotional support beverage you need because today we are celebrating 30 years together.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Oh, 30 years.

SPEAKER_04 0:26

What the heck was that sigh for? It is our anniversary. And you sigh?

SPEAKER_02 0:35

30 years. That is not a relationship. That is a historical documentary.

SPEAKER_04 0:43

Listen, we survived dial up internet. We survived uh map quest directions.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

Or lack thereof.

SPEAKER_04 0:51

And you trying to assemble furniture without instructions. We've survived all that.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

First of all, instructions are just suggestions with attitude. And they have a lot of attitude in some of these instructions. I'm just saying it. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

Just because you were looking at it upside down. But, anyways, no. Instructions are the difference between a bookshelf and a modern art. It sounded sophisticated. It did sound sophisticated.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

The thing about it is that modern art is exactly what I'm trying to make every time I make something.

SPEAKER_04 1:35

Listen, our shelf was sideways. But anyways. Or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Listen, the point is it went up at the end of the day. That's all I'm saying. At the end of the day, you needed a shelf built. It got built.

SPEAKER_04 1:49

Yes, and I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Somehow, somehow. It's like Legos. I tried building this car from Legos.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

It's 275 pieces.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Listen, it's way too many pieces for my hands. But I will say this. It took a couple days.

SPEAKER_04 2:06

It took you like three days.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

It took me days, but it got built eventually. And it looks great. It looks great. Total Formula One vehicle. Oh, yeah. For forza Ferrari.

SPEAKER_04 2:19

That I got you. And I thought we were going to build it together, but no.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Well, that's that's what you you thought we were going to build it together. It's tiny.

SPEAKER_04 2:29

Thought so.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

Like my hands.

SPEAKER_04 2:31

You didn't even let me put the stickers on it.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

You didn't want to.

SPEAKER_04 2:35

You didn't ask.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Listen, I had no idea how much therapy Legos can actually be.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

Really?

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Oh, it's fantastic. I put on some hard and heavy music.

SPEAKER_04 2:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

It's beautiful. Peaceful. Peaceful. And then I built the thing. I took time. And then and then I would just get random text. Where are you? What are you doing? What's going on? Are you okay? Yes, I'm fine. I'm just trying to build this.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

Because it was midnight and you said you were going to bed.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

I was trying to build it.

SPEAKER_04 3:07

I was waiting for you.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

I wanted some time for my own therapy.

unknown 3:13

Whatever.

SPEAKER_04 3:13

Anyways, guys, this is 30 years right here.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

This is 30 years. Oh.

SPEAKER_04 3:21

So one question that we got a lot is how are we still how are we still together?

SPEAKER_02 3:27

What's the secret? People ask.

SPEAKER_04 3:32

I say communication, patience, and love.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Separate blankets. Oh, separate blankets. And and comforters. Right. Because that that totally, totally makes that's a game changer.

SPEAKER_04 3:46

It is. It's it saves the relationship to have different comforters.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

You sleep like you're auditioning for an action movie.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

Really? You steal blankets like you're a caterpillar, preparing to become a butterfly. Okay. You make yourself into like a little cocoon.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

If there's an emergency, I cannot hold my breath that you're gonna save us. I'm gonna tell you this. Every time I get out and I get up, I feel like a butterfly. I'm refreshed. Oh, I do the movie thing. Oh I spread my wings. And I fly.

SPEAKER_04 4:24

Anyways.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Every time. It's fantastic. If you haven't tried this, I'm gonna tell you what. It is a game changer. It is a game changer of everything. It changes everything. Like you will no longer argue about the covers. The covers. Like you're taking the covers. Oh, but but you sleep with your foot out. Why do you wrap yourself up like that? Well, guess what? I got my own. I can wrap myself up as many which ways as Sunday.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

Yes, Mr. Caterpillar.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

I am I am I am a beautiful butterfly every time. A beautiful butterfly. Anyways, I spread my wings and I fly.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

Socialize. That's why they call you social butterfly.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

I do, I do. But gay, guess what? It is a game changer. Once you do this, folks, I'm not even joking. Once you do this, you will no longer argue about the mundane things. I mean, you may, because you know, people are people. But Brady has the anxiety. She has the anxious, the anxious Annies going on today.

unknown 5:40

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

She can't just tell.

SPEAKER_04 5:42

She's excited for us.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Yes. Okay. Is that what it is? I guess. I'm gonna assume that's it.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

But, anyways, so yes, going back to people always ask us what the secret is, and like we said, we always tell everyone communication for sure always is key to everything. Um we've been through a lot of different things with our our back our different backgrounds that we have. Um, starting off in our relationship, a lot of people told us we wouldn't last.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

We were told, well, I was never told because I don't talk to people.

SPEAKER_04 6:22

What you don't even believe that yourself, but anyways, we were told we weren't gonna last.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

We were a fly by night. A fly by night.

SPEAKER_04 6:32

We were told by friends and even our own family members that our relationship wouldn't last. Yes, we had um we had a daughter young.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 6:42

People had said, nope, this relationship's not gonna last because it didn't make sense. Your upbringing was different than mine.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Yes. Um we're very different people.

SPEAKER_04 6:53

And it will it was, it was a lot of people, and we were like, whatever, we'll see what happens.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Kind of we're just gonna ride the wave.

SPEAKER_04 7:02

We never really said, no, this is not gonna last, and we never really said, we always said actually it would last that we they were wrong. Oh, you're not gonna say anything.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Okay, I said that.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 7:17

Wow. Anyways, I'm gonna take your blanket away.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

You're not, you're not.

SPEAKER_04 7:24

No, but serious talk. People would always tell us that. Um, that we were young. We do we were not gonna last, basically. And here we are. Here we are. Brady's driving you nuts, huh?

SPEAKER_02 7:36

She really is.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

She sounds like you. She sounds like you. She just wants love. All right, you done with her? There you go, pretty girl. You can just do it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Anyways. There you go, pretty girl.

SPEAKER_04 7:53

So, yes, so we were told that and here we are, 30 years later, proving everyone wrong.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Yes. Um, what's fan what's fantastic about our uh time together? It's almost like time served. Well what? What? Um what's fantastic is that we have we have been through so much together. Uh it's almost like we can't go a year without something fascinating happening. And um we meet we continue going on and we continue going on and we see other things around us crumble.

SPEAKER_04 8:39

I think what happens is that we support each other no matter what. Because it's not always fan, whatever you said. Fantastic, what did you say? Phantasmic stuff. What phantomic year? Is that what you said? I don't know what you said.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

Phantasmic?

SPEAKER_04 8:52

I don't know. Were you thinking of Disney?

SPEAKER_02 8:54

I'm always thinking of Disney because it's it's always a good time for it's the wonderful world of Disney. Anyways, which we gotta talk about. We've had a lot of different things. We still gotta talk about that.

SPEAKER_04 9:08

Okay, we've anyways, we're gonna move on. How about that? Yeah, let's start with how about a couple goals.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Did we have any? I mean, I think at first it was like, let's just stay together.

SPEAKER_04 9:22

Let's stay together. Yes. Um well you okay, so one thing I always brag about about you is you became a dad young. You were young, you were a young guy. No, I was a young dude, young guy, and we what I tell a lot of people about you is that you didn't let that stop you from doing your life, but you still were there for your daughter. Because we weren't to married, we were dating. Yes, and I remember you saying that you would always be there for your your daughter. I remember you didn't even want kids at first.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

I did not want kids. The last thing I thought about was having kids. Um and it's because of your upbringing, yes, and it's because I never wanted to subject them to what I grew up with, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:17

So something for me about you that was is amazing is that you didn't let that stop you. No, you always told me that you would always be there for your child. We only had one at the time, so and I remember we didn't live very very close to each other, no, and you worked far. You would tell me don't feed her at night, don't give her her last feeding and don't bathe her yet. I want to be there.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 10:49

So I remember you would go to work from your house, you would go from work all the way to my house, just so you can feed her and put her to bed, and then you would go home. Yes, you did this every single day, Monday through Friday, and then on Saturday you would come eight in the morning because you wanted to do the first feeding of the day. Yes, and I remember this went on and on until we moved in together like six, seven months later on, and my dad was very impressed because you were keeping your word on being a father, and to me, that's impressive because and besides that, we always say because of your upbringing and all that, you never missed any of our kids. We have three, none of their first days of school, yes, or any big event, yes, I think you only missed one event in person, which was our son's ring ceremony, but you were on FaceTime, yes.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

I was on FaceTime the whole time.

SPEAKER_04 11:53

So for me, in a relationship, it's not just as a husband, you are also a father. Yes, and I feel like sometimes we've heard and seen people use their backgrounds as an excuse for who why they are the way they are in their relationship. But you turned that around.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

I did, I did. Uh that was one of my big uh things as I became conscious of as a goal, as a goal, that was a goal, which is like I'm gonna I'm gonna change uh history. Like I'm gonna change you were breaking the cycle, breaking the cycle. That's the term.

SPEAKER_04 12:32

That's the term. That's the term because the thing is for me, my parents, I grew up with both my parents married until unfortunately my dad passed away.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

Yeah, it was a loving home.

SPEAKER_04 12:41

It was. Um, so it was different for me. It was different, but you you're you showing your kids that yes, and they tell you that all the time.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

Yes, yes. Now that they're older, they they do uh compliment that.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

I'm I brag about you.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Yeah, it wasn't easy.

SPEAKER_04 13:00

It wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

You learned like I made a I made a dedication, I made a commitment. That's the uh the here's here's another couple goal stick to your commitments, stick to what you say you're gonna do. If you're gonna say you're gonna do it, do it and stick with it. No, no matter what. Man, the 70s were wild.

SPEAKER_04 13:22

Um that was weird that you said that, anyways. Um, but yes, like as a couple, because people think as a couple it's just husband and wife, or and that's it, or boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever. It's not, it's a it's a whole because you're not just a husband, you're also a father. Yes, and that to me is one of the biggest things in a relationship that's important as a couple, because if there was an issue, we always supported each other's decisions, yes, we'd help each other get through them. I mean, there were times obviously we we're not perfect, our relationship is not perfect, it really isn't.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

But how could you?

SPEAKER_04 14:16

I'm being for real.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

How could you?

SPEAKER_04 14:19

I'm being for real. But another okay, another couple goal. We still laugh at each other.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

We do. At times we laugh at each other. Mostly at you.

SPEAKER_04 14:33

Excuse me. I am hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

You laughed at your own Joe for five minutes yesterday and this morning.

SPEAKER_04 14:41

That's because that's because you didn't appreciate the artistry of it. You didn't think I knew that word, did you?

SPEAKER_02 14:49

No. No.

SPEAKER_04 14:51

Impressed, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:52

Um, yes. Actually, yes. That was a startling revelation, you know?

SPEAKER_04 15:04

Anyways.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Um, mostly because you have a limited vocabulary.

SPEAKER_04 15:09

Oh. Guys, this might be our last episode because of Ferguson.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

But if we can't laugh at each other, right, or with each other. That's true. You can't, you can't enjoy things.

SPEAKER_04 15:24

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

You know, um, we laugh at each other. Like literally, we roast each other.

SPEAKER_04 15:30

Oh, yeah. Constantly. All day.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Constantly. We are constantly roasting each other. It keeps it, it keeps it fresh, man.

SPEAKER_04 15:37

It keeps it fun. I mean, we respect each other.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Absolutely. We don't we don't. We don't you don't you don't you don't cross the line, right?

SPEAKER_04 15:44

But you gotta make each other laugh. If you can't make each other laugh, like what's I mean, come on. Not everything has to be 100% serious. No, it you know, it I don't know. You make me laugh all the time. Sometimes you say like the dumbest thing, and it makes me laugh. What are you talking about? And then you're like, why are you laughing?

SPEAKER_01 16:07

So okay.

SPEAKER_04 16:08

Like a few minutes ago, you were walking by and I say, Hey cute guy, and you looked around and looked at the dog like I was talking to the dog.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Yeah, and that just made me laugh. You gotta, you gotta do it. You gotta have fun. You do you know, fun, no matter what, is a key, is a key aspect. Um, you choose this person to be with, right? And if they're not tell the to us part.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

There goes Brady. There it goes.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Pitter Patter. Yeah. Come back here. There she goes. Okay. She no re she was asleep. I know. She was asleep, and then all of a sudden she just bounced out.

SPEAKER_04 16:51

We need to give her like little sakis, anyways. You see?

SPEAKER_02 16:54

Little what sake? Like like Japanese oh, socks.

SPEAKER_04 17:00

What did you think I said?

SPEAKER_02 17:01

I don't I you said little sake, and I'm like, sake? Like like the drink for you know, the Japanese drink that we have when we go to uh I don't know, is it a shutter down? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 17:10

We're completely off topic again. Sorry, anyways, you see, this is what happens.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

But you what you you choose this person to be with, right? Because, you know, I mean, uh let's say it correctly. She chose me, right? I got chosen. I was chosen. No, oh yeah, I guess I was chosen, right? You were lucky. I chose you. I would there's no luck. Luck is for losers. There's only there's only fate, divine intervention. Right? And uh it's God's will, whatever it is. Yes, right? So you chose me because I'm I'm too dumb. I'm I'm I'm too dumb to be to be out there choosing anything. I can't even make up my mind on on which color monster drink I want to have tomorrow or today. But you you have the opportunity to to spend all of your time with this person, as much as time as possible. Why not have fun, enjoy, you know, get to know your person. Right? And here's another couple goal, number two.

SPEAKER_04 18:16

I thought we were by four, but okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

We're not, we're not. We're just we're just explaining things. Go on adventures.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

Yes, yes, and by adventures you mean getting lost and arguing about um the GPS?

SPEAKER_02 18:31

The GPS said to turn left. I turned left.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

The the GPS also thought we were driving through a lake.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

Okay, I trust the technology, but I also trust my instincts. And typically the instincts and technology work together. Okay, so that's all I'm saying. Okay, and if you don't go on adventures with your person, what are you doing? Go have fun. Go take a date, go to Target. If you're not going to Target with your person and arguing over which particular target brand you like better.

SPEAKER_04 19:24

Or how much time are we gonna spend in the men's department or toy department?

SPEAKER_02 19:30

That makes the most sense, the toy department.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

But it's always an adventure, anyways. It's always, ooh, how long are you gonna be here? If I lose you, I know exactly where you are. But anyways, it's an adventure's always a must.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

Yes. Find places that you've never been to so you can both experience them together. It's always fun going somewhere new.

SPEAKER_04 19:55

Yeah. That I mean it's rare when we go somewhere new, but I was just gonna say, we're we always say, where are we gonna go? Like, for instance, we say where are we gonna go to eat? And we're always like, hmm, we always end up in the same place. Let's not lie. We do, but it was an adventure to get there to the same place. It was an adventure to get to the same place, and then the adventure of what are you gonna eat?

SPEAKER_02 20:19

We always come back to the same thing, we always get the same thing, pretty much, pretty much, but we laugh about it.

SPEAKER_04 20:26

You'll make fun of me and go, you always get the same thing. I don't know why you're looking at the menu. And then I'll be like, You get the same drink all the time, and we roast each other about it. We even make the waitress laugh. Always, because you'll be like, Watch, she's gonna order this and this and this, but she's gonna ask you about other stuff. Yes, and guess what I do?

SPEAKER_02 20:48

And I do this. But you know what though? It's also time tested that we've tried different menu items in different places. We have, and then all of a sudden we're like, Yeah, we should have had the other thing.

SPEAKER_04 21:01

So we're creatures of old habit because we trust it. We've been failed before.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

We have, we have every time it's like, oh, let's let's get this bizarre menu item that we've you know said that a million times we're gonna try it. Okay, we're gonna try it this time, and then it's like we try it and we're like, ugh. We should have stuck with the with the with the with the regular.

SPEAKER_04 21:26

Yeah. And after all these years together, another thing um for me, and I'll talk about me, and then you say you, that I have found um that I know that you are my person, is if I'm away from you because I went to go do a girls thing, or even you go do boys boys hangout, or whatever. We're away from each other.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's like, oh, Saturday's for the boys.

SPEAKER_04 21:53

Or I'm out with the girls.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

Saturday's for the girls.

SPEAKER_04 21:56

Um, for me, like I will sing. I know you're my person because I'll be thinking of you while I'm out. And I'll be like, oh, if Fern was here, X, Y, and Z, I'll text you or I'll send you a photo of like whatever I'm doing, or and I know for a fact, like no one can tell me otherwise. Because I immediately am dying to just come back home to be with you.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

Yes. It's so funny. Um I'll be out doing something, and the whole time I'm thinking about I I wonder, I wonder what Nat's doing. You know, if she was here, this would be so much more fun. You know? Every time. Every time. It's like, like I can go out for a little bit, like a very short amount of time. Very short amount of time. We do stuff separately sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 22:52

And that's good. You have to.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

But then it's like, I really want to be with my person. Because, you know, you're the yin to my yang. You know? You're the you're the jelly to my peanut butter. You're the peanut butter filling to my Reese's. You're my crispy wafers to my chocolate. Why am I always food?

SPEAKER_03 23:19

Hold on.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Because I love snacks.

SPEAKER_04 23:22

Why am I food?

SPEAKER_02 23:24

You're the banana and I'm the peel. I'm the peel.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

What?

SPEAKER_02 23:27

I'm saying you're the banana. Like we're together. We're constantly.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

Stop. Stop while you're ahead, please.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

You're the stone in my can.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

Oh my god, stop. Stop it. Okay.

unknown 23:41

Stop it. Stop it.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

You're that Cadbury filling.

SPEAKER_04 23:44

Oh my God, stop it.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

My Cadbury egg. Chocolate.

SPEAKER_04 23:48

Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

It's always snacks.

SPEAKER_04 23:52

Anyways.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

You're my lemon pepper to my tilapia.

unknown 23:55

What?

SPEAKER_02 23:59

You're my garlic butter sauce to my salmon.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 24:04

Anyways. Oh my god. I can't. I had something. It's a nice thing.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

You're my little big potato to my steak.

SPEAKER_04 24:12

I had a whole nice thing, and then you now you're comparing me to food.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

It's delicious.

SPEAKER_04 24:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Delicious.

SPEAKER_04 24:20

Anyways. So that's how I know, guys. Just gonna move on and ignore all the snacks that apparently I am. Um yeah. After all these years, it's and you still, even after all this time, you still make me blush.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

Aww.

SPEAKER_04 24:43

Not at the moment, but well, yeah, you did. Actually, actually you did. I take that back. You did make me blush now. You did. I mean, you did, I'm just saying. Like, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. Why are you staring at me? Are you coming up with another snack? Stop it. I'm trying not to. Okay, good. Thank you. But with everything that's great.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

You're the Fiona to my Shrek.

SPEAKER_04 25:15

What?

unknown 25:19

Stop.

SPEAKER_04 25:20

We're moving on. With all the greats and positive and everything in a relationship, there are couple fails.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

You do fail constantly.

SPEAKER_04 25:30

Stop it. Let's talk about the biggest couple fails.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Okay, so the vacation packing incident.

SPEAKER_04 25:39

Oh my god, we go back to that. Packed snacks. Only snacks. That's all I you you did the other day.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

We had chips, cookies, beef jerky.

SPEAKER_04 25:51

No clothes, just snacks. Obviously, we all know why, because that's all he thinks of.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

Because we were emotionally prepared.

SPEAKER_04 25:58

No, you were emotionally prepared.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

Listen, there's things that are important.

SPEAKER_04 26:04

And snacks are definitely you had a whole luggage just for snacks when we went to Universal.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Yeah. And I'm trying to figure out what your point is. We were not gonna be in the room. What are you talking about? We're always gonna need snacks, no matter what.

SPEAKER_04 26:21

You had a whole carry-on luggage of just snacks.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

I'm still trying to find out what the problem here is.

SPEAKER_04 26:29

We didn't need all the problem.

SPEAKER_02 26:31

Did did did we eat the snacks?

SPEAKER_04 26:34

You did.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 26:36

I ate maybe one thing of chips because all the other snacks were stuff you ate.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Your point?

SPEAKER_04 26:44

I was on the same trip with you.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

They got eaten.

SPEAKER_04 26:47

But I was on the same trip with you.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

But you didn't want them. And they were available. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 26:52

You didn't eat those.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

It's not the point. You did eat cookies.

SPEAKER_04 26:56

One. One.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

You're right. Because you can't eat all my cookies. I ate a lot of them. Because I am a cookie monster and we've already established this. There is nothing better than cookies.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

Cookies.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

Alright, ram ram ram ram.

unknown 27:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 27:17

Anyways, going back to another feel is when we actually try to cook together.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Yeah. We I I don't think we cook. I think we negotiate.

SPEAKER_04 27:35

You read the recipe like it was optional.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

Add a pinch of salt. What is a pinch? What is a pinch? It is so vague.

SPEAKER_04 27:45

So instead of a pinch or just a little bit, you threw in half of the container. A pinch. You you grab it with your fingers.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

I don't understand the measurements. Like poof. All I'm gonna say is flavor explosion. An explosion of flavor.

SPEAKER_04 28:08

And then you start overcooking like the other day, the fries were too overcooked. Okay. Or was it the burgers?

SPEAKER_02 28:14

It was the fries. Listen, you have a problem because you like your flies. I like my flies. Yeah, you like your flies. You are the fly to my frog. Oh my god. You like your fries floppy. And I don't like floppy fries. I like my fries. I like my fries to be crisp. I like the outside nice and crispy. So that when you bite it, they crunch. That's what they should sound like when you bite a fry. It sounds like this.

unknown 28:45

Look.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

You bite a fry.

SPEAKER_04 28:50

I almost left a tooth. Anyways.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Okay. Okay. There's a difference between extreme overcooking and like, oops, I left it in there too long. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 29:02

You kept putting it into the air fryer. I want more. I want more. And then it was oops.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

It became an oops because I haven't figured out the air fryer measurements yet. The Ninja Crispy is a new tool and it's new to use. Listen, I haven't figured it all out yet.

SPEAKER_04 29:15

It's not that hard.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Not the point.

SPEAKER_04 29:18

It wasn't that hard.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

It's not that it's hard.

SPEAKER_04 29:20

You don't read instructions. Did you read the instructions? Besides connect?

SPEAKER_02 29:26

No.

SPEAKER_04 29:27

Okay. That's why.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

No, what I did was I looked at it and I said, hmm. Fries. Yeah, it'll probably take about this long.

SPEAKER_04 29:34

Exactly. I said to you, look, the booklet gives you instructions. And you said, uh, yeah, no, that's for amateurs. And then you just kept pressing buttons and saying, I think it can be this amount. Just saying.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:52

But serious talk. Couple fails that we learned along the way in our relationship was communication. We we talk about this a lot. In the beginning, communication was hard throughout our relationship.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

It was because we both are strong-minded. Huh? Yeah. Yeah, we both are. We both are. But it I'm trying to. We went communication, it was hard really, really, for us to learn along the way. Um you need to be able to sit and tell each other and communicate.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

Communication.

SPEAKER_04 30:41

And find a way to understand one another. And that is what we did along the way. We had a lot of bumps along the road in the communication, but we both know now how the other one communicates. Like I know when he is hangry, when he doesn't get his snacks or his coffee. But he knows if I'm having. So you express yourself more emotionally and what's going on than I do. I hold things in more. And he knows he has learned, and tell me if I'm wrong, when something's bothering me already, or if I've had a rough day.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 31:22

And he already knows. So by knowing and understanding me, the way he helps me cope with it, because you help each other with it, is he makes me laugh.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Sometimes inadvertently. Sometimes I try not to, but I still do.

SPEAKER_04 31:45

Because he's mad because I was I snapped at him for something, but he's like trying not to make me laugh. But he makes me laugh.

SPEAKER_01 31:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 31:54

Well, our ice machine agreed with us.

SPEAKER_02 31:56

Yes. It was the emphasis to the sys. Oh my god. We do. We we there's there's there's a joy in um again when you know your person, you you know who they are, you know how they are, you know for the majority of the time how they think. Well, you know how they think. You may not know what they're thinking, but you know how they think. So you try to, you know. Sometimes I goof it up. Yeah. I'm I'm a complete goof.

SPEAKER_04 32:33

And uh and being in the moment is important together.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 32:38

Like when we had small kids, when the kids were small, we always made it a point to make time for ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 32:47

Always.

SPEAKER_04 32:49

Um we've both have had jobs that require more of us outside of our work times.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 33:01

Um, and it's been both. You've had jobs like that where you're out of work already, but you're still talking on your phone, or or now you know, later on when texting was big that you would text co-workers or whatever, continuing.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

And sometimes on the weekends, sometimes on vacations.

SPEAKER_04 33:22

And I understood. Yeah, just because we're both in the same room together doesn't mean he doesn't didn't want to spend time with me. I understood he had a job that required his attention outside of his work environment, I guess. Um and I understood, and sometimes we'd be at dinner and you're texting, and I wouldn't at first it bothered me, but then I understood communication was key. I voiced how it bothered me, but he voiced this is my job.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

Yeah, and I always tried to explain what was going on.

SPEAKER_04 34:10

Right. And he would tell me, oh, this and this and this. So I felt like I was part of it.

SPEAKER_02 34:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:17

And another another thing that happens, happened in our relationship that we had to learn was um our we've both have had different types of jobs. Um you've been laid off before, where now I was the one making um what's the correct wordings for it that they use nowadays? Making the bread. Is that what it's called?

SPEAKER_02 34:46

Bringing home the bacon.

SPEAKER_04 34:48

There you go. Bringing home the bacon. But at no point, and get tell me if I'm wrong. At no point did I ever tell you, oh, I'm making more right now. No. And vice versa. When he was make is making more or was making more, he never said, Hey, I make more than you. Like it was never thrown in our face. And that's something important in a relationship. Like, I believe it's important.

SPEAKER_02 35:20

Yes, it is important. Um there are a lot of things that that as a couple we can grow with. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 35:34

That was my neck impressive.

SPEAKER_02 35:37

How is that even possible? I don't know. That was weird. It was impressive. Anyways, so loud. I mean, fantastic. Thank you. I mean, that probably that probably felt good. A little bit, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways. You see?

SPEAKER_04 35:52

I cracked my neck, but anyways, okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:54

And when we crack this up. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 35:56

Anyways, I'm sorry, my neck interrupted you. Go ahead and continue.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

No, now I love I complet that completely threw me off.

SPEAKER_04 36:02

We were talking about how as a couple, um Oh, the bread. Yeah, you're you're united. You're two.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

Correct. Correct. Um, it doesn't matter. Status outside of the home. Doesn't matter. You know what I mean? Like, like I could be a mega exec, or you could be a mega exec.

SPEAKER_04 36:28

What's mine is yours.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

What's yours is that's exactly what it is, right? It and actually it goes back to a very basic biblical principle, which is to unite as one. Right. Um, so it really doesn't matter who's what and who's who. Those are just societal norms, I feel. I feel like society, especially like in the in the earlier part of the 20th century, right? Like the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, it was a very common place where it's like the man is the one that goes out there and makes the money makes the money and then comes home and the wife cooks the food.

SPEAKER_04 37:09

And it was seen before as the man should make more.

SPEAKER_02 37:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 37:15

Than the woman. And nowadays, no. Women are equal.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Well, the thing is, they're everything is the same. Like we're both the same.

SPEAKER_04 37:22

We're equal.

SPEAKER_02 37:23

Right.

SPEAKER_04 37:24

And if I make more, why would Sweet? We that makes that sorry, hold on. If I make more, that means we make more.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

Correct.

SPEAKER_04 37:35

Not I. Correct. It's we, because we are a we. We are united.

SPEAKER_02 37:39

We are one, right? We are united. And and there is no such thing as like I or me in a we.

SPEAKER_04 37:46

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

You know, you gotta flip that dub, you gotta flip that M upside down and make it a W into a we. What? Crazy talk. Um Okay, but at the same time, um, you know, you could be like this super high-powered executive, right? And I could not be that, right?

SPEAKER_04 38:11

But you're happy with what you do, or sometimes you know you hit a bump on the road.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

Sometimes there's a lot of bumps.

SPEAKER_04 38:18

Life is full of bumps, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:19

We've had a lot of bumps in the road.

SPEAKER_04 38:21

Yeah, yeah, most definitely.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

To get to where we are, you have to have those bumps because those make you those build the calluses.

SPEAKER_04 38:28

They make you who you are.

SPEAKER_02 38:30

And and as a and as a relationship, you know, you know, think about it. There's two hands that lift weights, and you build those calluses in order to build the strength on your hands, right?

SPEAKER_00 38:41

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

And both hands do the curling.

SPEAKER_04 38:47

To be honest, another gosh, that was a terrible analogy. It was horrible. That's why I'm gonna interrupt there. Something else that is key in our relationship, besides communication, patience, love, and respect, and roasting. Um something else that's centered in our relationship is God.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 39:11

You know, our faith is very important, and it is part of our relationship, so it isn't something we have yet spoken about too much, but we will. And it is, it's part of our relationship. And I forgot what I was going to say. He's centered. He's centered, but yes, like you had said, that there's a lot of obstacles on the road. We've been also through health issues. Quite a few, and we'll say a few, and bad.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

We're talking about we're talking uh near near death and actually death.

SPEAKER_04 39:46

Yeah, near death experience, and we're like we've we've come back, and both of us like zombies, and both of us just keep coming back for more, and both of us, it wasn't you you you keep referring to you as a zombie.

SPEAKER_02 40:01

Go figure.

SPEAKER_04 40:02

Um, but it's been both of us, it wasn't just one, it was both with major issues in health, but at the end of the day, we had each other. Yes, and I've put you through a lot more in health re um issues than you actually have put me. Um but I remember through the first heart um surgery I had, I remember that it was what like six, seven months that I basically couldn't do anything.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 40:39

You were doing everything, the raising the pretty much raising the kids because they were still young, dealing with the kids, um, house stuff. I couldn't work at the time, and you were working full time. And I remember that I had said you don't need this in a relationship. I remember I specifically said it to Fern. You know, I would understand if you want to go because this wasn't what you signed up for. And um, I don't remember what was it.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

What are you talking about? I signed the contract.

SPEAKER_04 41:20

That is what you said. I signed the contract.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

I signed the contract. I ain't going nowhere, and there's nothing, there's nothing you can do to get me out of here.

SPEAKER_04 41:27

You said my time served has not finished.

SPEAKER_02 41:30

I have not completed my time serve. I have to call my probation off of that.

SPEAKER_04 41:35

And once again, that's how you understood what I was feeling and what I was going through that you made a joke out of it.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 41:43

And you did, and I always thanked you and you know, X, Y, and Z. Um, but support for one another is always, always number one.

SPEAKER_02 41:58

Yes. We have to, you have to support your person. You have to. Because sometimes it it gets rough. And sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it gets rough. And you are your partner's best support system. And through that, supporting your partner, you support yourself. Because I have this belief, and I've and I've I've always said it, right? Which is we rise by lifting others. Right? So I lift you, I rise up as well.

SPEAKER_04 42:45

Wow, no good chair.

SPEAKER_02 42:46

What is wrong with your eye?

SPEAKER_04 42:47

I have an eyelash in my eye.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

Anyways, so seriously, let's let's uh let's let's flip this a bit.

SPEAKER_04 42:55

And let me get too emotional for you.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it. 30 years. We've grown up together.

SPEAKER_04 43:01

Uh we've seen each other at our best.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

And at don't talk to me before coffee worst. That's you. Always. Always.

SPEAKER_04 43:12

Okay. We've argued about serious things.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

Like which way the toilet paper goes.

unknown 43:18

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 43:20

And how to load the dishwasher. Over. By the way, the toilet paper goes over.

SPEAKER_02 43:26

Under.

SPEAKER_04 43:27

Over.

SPEAKER_02 43:28

Under.

SPEAKER_04 43:29

This episode is over, guys.

SPEAKER_02 43:35

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 43:37

30 years later, we still laugh. We still argue. And still choose each other.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

And still wondering how we made it to this, how we made it this far without an actual reality show. Oh my god. Because I think that's what this is.

SPEAKER_04 43:56

This is. I think that's I mean, if cameras We're in here watching us, they'd die laughing.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

I would think so.

SPEAKER_04 44:05

I I mean I would hope so, because this is like a whole we are a show. We are a show. But couple goals. Oh, what would it be?

unknown 44:15

Couple goals.

SPEAKER_02 44:16

Couple fails.

SPEAKER_04 44:18

And unlimited chaos. Oh my god, that would be a great title.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Couple goals.

SPEAKER_04 44:23

Couple goals, couple fails, and unlimited chaos.

SPEAKER_02 44:26

That's marriage, baby.

SPEAKER_04 44:27

That's love.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

And that is limitless table talk. No excuse.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

What?

SPEAKER_02 44:38

What?

SPEAKER_04 44:39

What?

SPEAKER_02 44:40

Alright.

SPEAKER_04 44:41

Okay, sorry. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

Now excuse us while we celebrate.

SPEAKER_04 44:45

By going to bed early.

SPEAKER_02 44:46

By living wild.

SPEAKER_04 44:48

No, we're gonna go out and celebrate our anniversary.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 44:52

Like couples do.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

I don't know what couples do.

SPEAKER_04 44:57

We'll probably go to the same place. We will definitely order the same food.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

And order the same food because it's always a great time. It doesn't matter where we go.

SPEAKER_04 45:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:06

As long as we're together, I think, I think we're we're enjoying ourselves.

SPEAKER_04 45:10

Yes. But thank you guys for listening and letting us share our anniversary with you.

SPEAKER_02 45:16

Yeah, yeah. And if you know when you go ahead and give us a little uh a little mention on Instagram.

SPEAKER_04 45:22

Show us the love.

SPEAKER_02 45:24

At limitless couple305 on Instagram.

SPEAKER_04 45:28

Follow, like, subscribe, share our podcast. Share.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

Don't be selfish, you selfish Susan.

SPEAKER_04 45:34

What? Who's Susan?

unknown 45:36

I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 45:37

But if you're Susan, he didn't mean you.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

I didn't mean you specifically, Susan. I'm sorry, Susan. I wasn't trying to point you out.

SPEAKER_04 45:45

We don't even know Susan. Hold on.

SPEAKER_02 45:46

We don't know a Susan.

SPEAKER_04 45:48

Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

Do we know a Susan?

SPEAKER_04 45:50

Yes, we do.

SPEAKER_02 45:51

Oh yeah. We do. Do we? Yes, we do. Okay. No, we don't. No.

SPEAKER_04 45:55

The wrong name. Anyways, I don't know. Who were you talking about? I don't know. Anyways.

SPEAKER_02 46:01

Once we get off air, we're gonna find out.

SPEAKER_04 46:03

But before we go, happy anniversary, babe. And I love you.

SPEAKER_02 46:08

Happy anniversary and uh love you too. Period.