133 - Why Is Making Friends As An Adult So Weird?

The one where remembering when making friends was as easy as sitting next to someone at school? Now we have schedules, responsibilities, kids, work, and a million reasons why “we should totally hang out” never actually happens. Join Fern and Nat as they talk about the awkward, funny, and sometimes frustrating world of adult friendships—and how finding your people is still worth the effort.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Can we talk about how making friends as an adult feels harder than applying for a mortgage?

SPEAKER_04 0:05

Seriously. When you're a kid, it's like, you like dinosaurs? Ha ha, me too. Best friends.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Now it's like, let's grab coffee sometime.

SPEAKER_04 0:15

No dinosaurs. And then three months later.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

We should really do that. Anyways.

SPEAKER_04 0:24

Alright. Welcome back to Lumiless Table Talk. Where sometimes making friends isn't as easy as sharing plastic figures. I'm Fern.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

I'm Nat. And always remember that where there's no topic. It's too big and no adventure is too small. Now grab your favorite cup of coffee, pull up a chair, and let's chat. Chatterooski. But first, let's show a little love to our sponsor.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

This episode is brought to you by the 210 Batch. If you're looking for delicious homemade cookies, you've got to give them a try. Every cookie is made with love, care, and prayer. A sweet reminder that in every bite, we are God's masterpiece. Head over to at the 210 Batch on Instagram to order yours. The ordering link is in their bio, and you'll find it in our bio as well. Treat yourself to a batch. You won't regret it. And when you order, be sure to let them know. Fern and Nat from Limitless Table Talk sent you. Alright.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Oh, and let's do Fern's favorite part. Why not? Cue the music. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

So pull up a seat. The talk is on. This is Limitless Table Time.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Alright, now you're done with that.

SPEAKER_04 1:46

Sorry. I you know that part is one of my favorites.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

I know. You dance to it, sing to it. I can't wait for us to be on video so people can see you doing that.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

It's gonna be so funny.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

But anyways, for me. Today, we are talking about making friends as an adult. Why is this so weird?

SPEAKER_04 2:07

Sometimes it can be.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Remember when like when we were in school, friends were everywhere. You saw them every single day.

SPEAKER_04 2:15

Pretty much. You were like, hey, peanut butter sandwich. Got it.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Why do your friends sound weird?

SPEAKER_04 2:24

They were.

unknown 2:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

You know who you are. But now things are different. People got jobs. Because what's that? Jobs, bills, kids, soccer practice, doctor's appointments, and somehow complete exhaustion by 8 30.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

Make it like 7 30. But sometimes I meet someone really cool, and immediately I think, hmm, please don't ask me to do anything after 7 p.m.

SPEAKER_04 2:59

I'll tell you this. Adult friendships are so different. They're on a different level, right? That is true. Calendars, which that's you know, your job. Reminders, GPS directions, child care, and at least, at least two to seven reschedules. Oh, I'm like on eight reschedules right now. Rescheduling is like the thing you do because you're like, oh, something came up.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Oh, something, oh man. I mean, as a child, oh well, when I was younger, it was more like we we didn't have any of these things. It was more like, let me just check with I let me tell my mom and dad.

SPEAKER_04 3:36

Must be nice.

unknown 3:38

Oh my god, Lord help me.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

We're gonna have to stop doing anything that has to do prior to Fern meeting me.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Because you still have to do that. You still have to tell your friends, let me check with Nat.

SPEAKER_04 3:55

Yeah, yeah. I do have still have to do that right now. What's funny is that back then, like I would just be like, I'm out, and I'd run outside. And it's cricket. And it's, you know, who's out here? Right? And then some you would see somebody on a bike or somebody on a skateboard or somebody somewhere doing something, and you just run over there and you're like, Hey, what are you doing? You're running bike? Cool. I'm gonna go get my bike. And they're like, Yeah, cool, go get, and then they all of a sudden they come to your house and you're you're grabbing your bike, and now you're on an adventure.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

You know what my favorite part was? Because we were already dating and we were well, I was teenager. Were you? Yeah, yeah, you were still a teenager. You weren't, yeah, yeah. Um, was when I would be over at your house and you'd be like, Okay, we're gonna go out, whatever, let me go change or shower or whatever. You would pause your video games, yeah, and your friend would come over and be like, Hey, where's Fern? And I'd be like, Oh, he's in the bathroom. And he would just take your remote and start playing your video games.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Or or say, I'm gonna grab a shirt.

SPEAKER_04 5:02

Yeah, or grab a shirt, or I'm gonna grab a CD.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

And he would just leave all of a sudden. I'm like, Do I re You know who you are? Do I report this?

SPEAKER_04 5:11

Like, yeah, it was but it but it but that's how it was. That's how it was. I would do the same thing. But I wasn't used to that. I would do the same thing uh at his house, and uh the difference is it was like Fort Knox over there. Yeah, you know, his grandparents were like, What are you doing? You know, of course, in Spanish. But they would say, like, what are you doing? Like, and I'll be like, Oh, I'm gonna go get something. He's like, Okay, well, make sure you check with us before you leave.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

Yeah. Not here. He would just not in my house. Your great grandfather lived there, so he would just like let him in.

SPEAKER_04 5:41

They'd just be like, whatever, dude.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

And all of a sudden, I'd turn around and there he was. He'd be like, Hey Nat, I'm here to grab a shirt or a CD or whatever. Oh, who's playing video game? Who's paused? I'd be like, Fern. Oh, he won't mind. He'll grab it. I'm like, oh no. I really felt like, do I report the situation? Like a police report, basically.

SPEAKER_04 6:02

But like most of the time I'd get back and I'd be like, That's not where I was in the game.

unknown 6:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

At all. I wasn't, you know.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

But I was good. I never turned anyone in until later on. I was like, Well, it was him, not me.

SPEAKER_04 6:14

Yeah. Because I always I would always be like, dude, I wasn't in the second quarter of this, you know, football game.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

And it was like a full-on like interrogation on why I did it. And I'm like, it wasn't me.

SPEAKER_04 6:28

How did I end up in like the seventh inning when I started this game like two minutes ago?

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Or he would have you lose, and then all of a sudden, like the worst. It was like, why did you do that? I'm like, it wasn't me, but I wouldn't turn him in until I had to turn him in.

SPEAKER_04 6:40

The worst. Um yeah, but that's friendship, you know? So what's funny is it gets harder as you get older, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:52

I feel like I always say as an adult, it's so hard to make a friend.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

Like adults are busy, like we are busy all the time.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

That is true, but I also think we're afraid of um rejection.

SPEAKER_04 7:09

Good point. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

I I think that's what we're afraid of, like the personal emotion type.

SPEAKER_04 7:16

You know, it it's weird because you know, as an adult, right, you would think we can handle rejection better, but it becomes more I think it's worse, it's like worse, right? It's it's it was so much easier back in the day when it's like, I don't want to play with you. Well, you know what? I didn't want to play with you either, bro.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Um and you just find someone else and you're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_04 7:35

You just find someone else, and yeah. And now it's like, I don't want to play with you. And it's like, but why what did I do? Like, do you not like do we not like the same shows? Like usually it's like the show. What did I do? Right. What did Fern do? What did Fern? That's my question. What did what did who what did I say? That's I think that's usually what it is, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:54

What it's no, but but serious talk now. It's it's hard because for instance, I know people that have moved from the state they're in or the city they're in, let's just say the city, yeah, to another city and all that, and they're adults, and it's hard me. I can't imagine moving from where I am, where I have all my friends and my family, moving to a city or a state where we know no one and making a friend. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 8:23

I think I feel like I'm bothering someone, like Yeah, but the thing is, like, just like you, right, in this in this case, right? We're gonna say hypothetical person A.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

We'll just say me for now. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 8:37

Because people, right? Just like you, there's someone who's looking to make a friend.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Well, that friend better come find me because I'm having a hard time finding them.

SPEAKER_04 8:48

Right, but that's the thing. Like, the same way, you know, I go to uh any store and talk to anyone.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

But that's you right. We're talking hypothetically because I don't want to get a phone call later on telling us that we're not like that. Hypothetically speaking.

SPEAKER_04 9:06

Hypothetically speaking, the thing is sometimes people are waiting for you to say, hi, how are you? I'm so and so. Well, it goes back to projection. It goes back to right, but you don't know the person and they don't know you. And if someone doesn't make a move, how is anything gonna get moving?

SPEAKER_00 9:29

It really is true, right?

SPEAKER_04 9:30

Someone's gotta move for movement to happen. It's in it's the law of inertia, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Right. But I mean, social media nowadays, because social media is huge, makes it look like everyone already has their perfect friend group. Let's be honest. You you you meet people and they have like let's just say you go to a get together.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

A getty?

SPEAKER_00 9:55

We went to a get together.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

A getty.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

Let's just say you go to a get together, a getty. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

I'm gonna call it a getty every time.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

You go to a getty and you know no one. You know no one. You know no one's gonna be a good one. You just know the person that invited you.

SPEAKER_03 10:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

But then that person, and this it happens to people, um, that person has their friend group. Yes, correct? Yes, you happen to be in a different type of friend group, but this person has this friend group and you're trying to fit in. But it's hard as an adult when you don't know those people, and they're all like about whatever in the world they're talking about, and you have no input because you don't know.

SPEAKER_04 10:34

I can't relate entirely though, because for example, I find a way to cross barriers, right? So you have to find the thing, right? You have to find like sometimes you just have to take the initiative and say, I'm gonna get out there.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

This is the Fern and Nat help people make friends as adults.

SPEAKER_04 11:01

Well, look, you know, we went to this getty, we knew the host, the person that invited us. That's all we need, right? I ended up chatting with everyone.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

We both ended up chatting.

SPEAKER_04 11:14

Well, I'm saying I'm just using my experience, and like we're in completely different generational situations than the people that were there, than the people that were there. But it was almost like we've known each other our whole lives.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Yeah, because we found the common ground with the specific people that we were talking to.

SPEAKER_04 11:35

Bingo.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Um we were we actually used our listening skills, you know, they teach us that in school. Um listening skills, yes, yes, Dora, calm down. The listening skills that we are provided with and told to do, we listened to what people were talking about, and we kind of just like chimed in. Some people might say some people are scared of doing that. Let's be honest. Some people are because they're like, that person's gonna be like, Why are you eavesdropping? or like you know, who invited you into my conversation? You gotta just jump in. You kind of can tell based on how the person responds to you. Yes, but social media does in reality make it look like everyone has a perfect friend group because you see all these photos, but at the end of the day, half those people haven't actually hung out together in months. Always remember that people.

SPEAKER_04 12:30

It's it's true though, you know. I mean, everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Yeah, it goes to what you just said a minute ago.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

And if you don't make the first move sometimes, you're never gonna make a move.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Yeah, no, it's it's true. I mean, if you think about it, think about it when you're a child, when you're a kid, or maybe you don't have a kid, you have a niece or a nephew. If your niece or nephew comes up to you and goes, I have no friends in school, what is going to be your response? You're gonna tell little Timmy or little Jane to make a friend, to go up to someone and talk to them or introduce. So why don't we as adults do that?

SPEAKER_04 13:18

I think again, it's the fear of rejection, it's the fear of the unknown, right? And we get all in our heads because we're adults, right? And we're always in our own heads about what about what if, you know, what if things don't work out? What if they say no? What if they don't want to hang out with me? Well, guess what? You're never gonna know unless you say, Hey, you wanna go grab some coffee?

SPEAKER_00 13:48

And you might be missing something.

SPEAKER_04 13:50

And they may say, I don't like coffee. I like tea, and you say, Oh no, I'm out. Let's go grab some coffee and tea.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Well, tea, yeah. I mean, not tea. Um, coffee. I'm just saying I'm not British. No, no, no, tea for me. All I'm saying drink tea like when I'm sick. Sorry. I got into the hypothetical.

SPEAKER_04 14:15

Well, let's go grab some of that tea. I'm gonna grab a coffee and we'll we'll hang out and talk about whatever tea flamer you're gonna be. Am I grabbing the tea? You grabbed the tea. You just said you wanted tea, you lunatic. I can't even do hypotheticals with you.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Sorry, I got involved in it. Oh I got too involved in it. Oh my goodness. Uh which, by the way, I'm gonna go completely off topic here for a minute. I have to, because, because I'm very, very upset that you ate the last chocolate chip cookie. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I had to mention it because, like we said earlier, we had cookies from the 210 batch.

SPEAKER_04 15:05

Uh-huh. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

And I saved my last little piece of chocolate chip cooking and you ate it.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

I did.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

And I had to bring this up. It went with my coffee.

SPEAKER_04 15:18

It was perfect.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Exactly why I brought it up because you said coffee. It was perfect. Because I was gonna have it with my coffee. Um before we continue, because now I'm thinking about the chocolate chip cookie. Those cookies were delicious. They were. And they are, they they were different flavors. Yes, definitely, guys, rewind or check out later our Instagram and all that.

SPEAKER_04 15:45

At Limitless Couple305.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

Very good. We're gonna have, we're gonna actually make it even easier. We're gonna add their link to our bio so you can just order your cookies. Order the cookies. Fern does not like chocolate chip cookies. He does not like them. He's an Oreo guy. Don't let him fool you. It's true. Or he's that um sugar cookie from Publix with the frosting. The frosting. Um, he did not want to try the chocolate chip cookie. I did not.

SPEAKER_04 16:15

Because he does not like everybody has I'm not a chocolate chip cookie, dude. Like I prefer a macadamia.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Guess who ate pretty much the whole chocolate chip cookie? Fern. Okay. Not Nat. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 16:27

Fern had Is this what it's gonna be now?

SPEAKER_00 16:28

The whole because I have to.

SPEAKER_04 16:31

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

I have to.

SPEAKER_04 16:32

You have to?

SPEAKER_00 16:33

I'm going to say something, and it's probably not gonna be liked by others, but don't take it the wrong way. This is my own opinion. There were many different flavors, and we'll get into it in our Instagram or TikTok or whatever. Because if we're gonna do some reels, we'll be here all day. But in all honesty, I think they were better than crumble cookie. Don't don't come at me, guys. Don't come at me. Actually, don't come at me.

SPEAKER_04 16:59

I will I'm I've I'm a cookie monster. Yes, you are. You know this. I will eat cookies everywhere. It's true.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 17:08

That's a snack, guys. That's a snack. These cookies. Oh. Oh, so good.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

They were, they were so very good.

SPEAKER_04 17:18

So good. I'm gonna tell you what. I felt so enlightened having these cookies as well. Because I felt like these calories were not bad. They were good. And they tasted amazing.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Yeah. But you you can check out their story on their page, check them out on Instagram at the 210 batch. Check them out on Instagram. They have an amazing story.

SPEAKER_04 17:43

Click the link on our bio, if anything.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

They have an amazing story. Show support. But, anyways, I wanted to make sure I let everybody know Fern ate the last chocolate chip cookie, and I'm very upset. Somebody send me chocolate chip cookies and do not send it to Fern. But, anyways, I have gone. I'm gonna make friends this way. People are gonna bring me cookies and coffee. But none for you.

SPEAKER_04 18:04

Are you kidding?

SPEAKER_00 18:05

I'm making friends. I am just not tea, because in the hypothetical, Nat does not like tea.

SPEAKER_04 18:12

I I will drink tea. You know, and I'll do it the total British way, too. Yeah, whatever. With with with cream and crumpets. I got it.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

But, anyways, now that I want cookies again, um, I'm gonna have to hit them up for more cookies.

SPEAKER_04 18:28

We're gonna have to order more cookies.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

But, anyways, I got that off my chest. I feel better now. Now we can go back to what we were talking about. Guys, we've always told you luminous table talk is we're bringing the topic to the table, right? It's always chaos. This is real talk, real. I mean, nobody has a straightforward one type of conversation. This is us going in circles of whatever we're going to go through because we don't know what's going on.

SPEAKER_04 18:54

All right. So I'm gonna give you a quick cut.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Just like that.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

You don't want me to talk about the cookies.

SPEAKER_04 19:02

No, I'm done with you.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 19:07

So these are signs you're trying to make adult friends. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 19:17

You exchange numbers.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

And never text them. I'm just saying what comes to mind.

SPEAKER_04 19:25

What happens? You become Instagram friends instead.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

All the time following you.

SPEAKER_04 19:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

How about you react or they react to every story hoping maybe they'll invite you somewhere?

SPEAKER_03 19:39

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

Like, ooh, that place looks cool. Never been there. Where are you at? Never been there.

SPEAKER_04 19:45

Oh man, that looks amazing. But you're waiting you're you're you're sending the message in this in the hope that they say, hey, next time we should, you know, you accidentally become friends with their dog before them. That's very common for me.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

If anybody ever wonders who watches all these videos about just dogs, it's Fern.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

It's me. I love dogs.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

His Instagram is just a bunch of follows of dogs. Dogs.

SPEAKER_04 20:18

All right. You say, let's definitely get together.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

Is that a yeah or no? Yeah. And I'm like, but low key before 7 o'clock p.m., please.

SPEAKER_04 20:30

And then six holidays pass.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

We're still waiting to get together.

SPEAKER_04 20:39

Still, still.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

That happens um with me, in the sense as people have told me, let's definitely get together. I'm not gonna lie. Half the time I forgot who told me that.

SPEAKER_03 20:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

I can't keep up, guys. I can't. Um in our experience, let's see. We I I've learned that friendships look different nowadays as adults.

SPEAKER_04 21:08

It's true. Between the work schedule, family life, free time is um as we show that. So we have free time. Exactly. It's very, it's very tight.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

I feel like everybody's always waiting for the perfect timing. I've learned, or I think we've learned, um, to appreciate even the short moments we have, like a quick coffee, no tea, by the way. A quick coffee, a quick walk, or just a short walk, um, even meeting at church, um, or even going to the park and watching the kids play while or just actually talking.

SPEAKER_04 21:45

Yeah. I mean, how many times have we run into people, right? And then all of a sudden we're catching up in like five minutes. But it's like, I can't believe you know, wow, this is fantastic. I, you know. We've done that even at Target. You just ah, and then you just talk real quick, and it's like that's cool, man. You know?

SPEAKER_00 22:07

And then you move on.

SPEAKER_04 22:08

Friendship doesn't have to be all day.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

That is true.

SPEAKER_04 22:12

You know, I mean it's always great to be like, we gotta plan a barbecue, right? How many times do we hear that? We gotta plan a barbecue. We gotta we gotta do a thing. You know life gets in the way.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Life is busy. Like life is busy. It happens. Um I've said things in advance, and things happen. I mean, sometimes it's a last-minute job work we have to do, or something happens with a family member. Or, like, for instance, that just happened to me where I planned a lunch for for us a month ago a month ago with really good friends, a month ago, and I felt horrible having to cancel.

SPEAKER_04 22:52

Um because you had to I had to work, you had to work. Um it and it was like one of those like it just boom.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

It happens, life happens, but that doesn't mean we're never gonna do it again. That just means we have to reschedule, and that comes into the 7,000 reschedules that we do. But at some point it's gonna happen. And even if it's just a lunch and you go on your merry way, you go on your merry way, but always try to do it, try to squeeze in because it's important for your social activity in your life. Yes, it is. Um, it's you know, you bring the kids, we've done them. Yeah, we haven't brought the kids. Hold on, we don't have little kids, but we've met with friends who have younger kids, they come too. We don't care.

SPEAKER_04 23:38

Yeah. Let's let me give some practical tips.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Oh, okay. Look at you. Do you have to like wave your hands back at me?

SPEAKER_04 23:47

Because I had to, I had to give you like the the Holland thing, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:52

Guys, we're really like missing out on all these. We should be doing this on video, and we are one day, but really, if we did it, people would be having too much fun laughing at all these faces that either Fern is doing or me doing faces at him, like, really, can you just behave for five minutes? No, but anyways, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 24:11

All right, so here's some practical tips.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Take out your pen and paper.

SPEAKER_04 24:18

All right. This one should be obvious, but be the person who reaches out. Someone at some point has to send that text.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Okay. Very true. Um, I'll do number two. I have one. Oh, I'll have one. I'll participate here today. Um, number two, stop waiting for perfect schedules. An hour together is better than waiting six months.

SPEAKER_04 24:49

You know, that reminds me. Remember that time? Oh Lord. You were trying to schedule a dinner with someone, and it just kept going off and off and off and off because everybody got busy.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Look, I've been trying to plan my lunch, my dinners with my best friend, and we've rescheduled a thousand times.

SPEAKER_04 25:08

Right, that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Someone's sick, someone's not, a child is sick.

SPEAKER_04 25:12

It happens.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

You know, it happens. Anyways, you want to do that.

SPEAKER_04 25:16

Number three, find people with similar values. Okay. Whether it's church, volunteering, sports, hobbies, shared interests, make conversations easier. So, like, so like I I I obviously enjoy music and I like uh childish things, like action figures. Right? So I have a community of people that I very good friends with. I say a community because we're all very good friends. You sound like you're walking with an entourage. I do. Oh, okay. I do. I do. These folks who are my friends, these folks.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

At this age, we say these folks.

SPEAKER_04 25:59

These folks who are my friends, we all like kind of the same thing. You know, we all like wrestling, we all like, you know, action figures, we all like.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

You know what I love when I throw off your friends, your folks, your friends, you throw on my friends, and all of a sudden they mention something that you guys are into, and I voice out something about that, and they're like, Oh, you're into it too.

SPEAKER_04 26:21

That's right. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

But yes, you're right. It makes it easier.

SPEAKER_04 26:26

Someone loves things too, like Star Wars.

unknown 26:32

Anyways.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

All right, all right. What are we at? Number four, number four.

SPEAKER_04 26:37

Numero quadro.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

I've noticed that we like to do tips on five things, and like everything is always five, guys. But anyways, if you don't know what we're talking about, go back, listen to a couple of our other episodes, and you'll notice we give a lot of tips. And I think we should be charging for these tips. We should. But, anyways, number four, don't expect instant best friends. I think that's what people go in looking. But, anyways, don't expect instant best friends. Great friendships grow over time.

SPEAKER_04 27:07

It's true. Sometimes you connect with someone immediately, and all of a sudden you're just like, Did we just Did we just become best friends? Right?

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Notice we both went to sleep.

SPEAKER_04 27:18

We both did the same thing. Because it's true. Sometimes, all of a sudden, you know, you're you're both on the same plane of existence, in the same, heading in the same direction, and it's like a big bang. It's a it's a cataclysmic event of friendship, fun. Right? But sometimes, sometimes you talk to somebody and you're like, oh man, you know, we have a couple things in common. You know, let's let's expand that, you know, and it and it and it takes time and it and it expands over time, you know?

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Am I right?

SPEAKER_00 27:53

No, it's true. Yeah, it's true, and you also get some friends that are they're called seasonal friends.

SPEAKER_04 28:01

Yeah, it happens. It's not that they're not your friends, it's just that in this season they're very uh important to this moment in your life.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Right, yeah. It it listen, let's be honest. Sometimes God places people in our lives for a season, and sometimes for a lifetime.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

So look at me dropping knowledge on people.

unknown 28:27

Boom. Knowledge.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

I mean, we're not meant to do life alone, guys.

SPEAKER_04 28:31

We're not, we're not. So number five. And final tip it's the five-star tip. Give grace. Okay? Life gets busy. A delayed replied does not mean always that someone doesn't care. Sometimes it's like, I'm gonna send a text back, but you're doing 35 things at once, and then all of a sudden you're like, oh, oh my gosh, I gotta send that text. But it was like a day later.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

Or two, or three.

SPEAKER_04 29:11

Or two or three or a week. It happens. It happens. The other day I got I one of my texts got stuck when I was sending a text back. It got stuck in, I don't know, it was stuck in the ether. And uh I didn't notice until all of a sudden it said not delivered. And I'm like, what do you mean not delivered? It's been like the whole day. Right, right. I sent that in the morning. How is it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Yeah, I mean, you can't get upset. It doesn't mean that the person doesn't care.

SPEAKER_04 29:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

I mean, one thing we've learned is that we're designed, life is designed, God has designed us to be a community. Friendship is a community. Um, you know, it's like that saying it takes a village to raise a child or your husband, you know. But hey.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

I mean come on now.

SPEAKER_00 30:11

We also have to be willing to open our hearts. Like what you were saying earlier in the beginning, um you gotta put yourself out there. It it somebody's gotta make the first step to becoming friends.

SPEAKER_04 30:28

Yeah. I mean, you know. It's true though. I I mean I say this, you know, pray that God surrounds your family with people who encourage your faith and help you grow because you need that, right? Friendship isn't just about having fun, even though it can be. It's about having people who point you towards Christ when life gets hard.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

I mean, one thing we have said on our podcast, we we go to church and and we're fa we're a faith family, and yeah, we are we are faith-based. Yeah, it's um this is nothing new. Nope. We've said it and we have gotten we've had amazing friendships. We have some amazing friends who have turned into family. Yes, because of church. Yeah, because of the community of it.

SPEAKER_04 31:23

So it's funny because like our closest friends now are yeah are people that are we met uh throughout our our our experience.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

Right. So that's just I mean, and if you're not, hey, you know, you're not you know there's different strokes for different folks, man. And by the way, friendships, if you are not a married couple, or in a relationship, friendships can bring a loved one. Just remember, send Fernanette a wedding invitation. Please. Um probably show up, we will show up. If they invite if if a caller invites us, a listener, a listener, sorry. A caller? What is it? If a listener invites us, because I right now I'm playing Cupid, if our five-star, what did you call it? Five star practical tips helps a couple find love. Not only just a friendship, yo, imagine finds love, they should find their best.

SPEAKER_04 32:28

And all of a sudden, they find each other, they go and reach for that action figure at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Stop it. Listen to if we help anyone that's listening with our five-star step, practical steps to make a friendship, make a best friend, and find their soulmate. Fern and Nat are coming to this wedding.

SPEAKER_04 32:53

Probably.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

No, we will. Parenthetically.

SPEAKER_04 32:56

I'm gonna say this parenthetically. Probably.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

No, we'll come to this wedding and I'm gonna throw Fern in the mix. Fern will marry we can marry people, by the way. Fern. Yes, can you imagine? We will be part of that love story.

SPEAKER_03 33:11

We can officiate it, yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

Yes, we will be part of that love story, and then they can be on our podcast and be like, remember that episode, X, Y, and Z? Fern, I'm on to something. I'm just saying, whatever. Anyways.

SPEAKER_04 33:24

Plain cupid.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

Here's your challenge this week, guys. Text someone you've been meaning to reconnect with. Not tomorrow, but today.

SPEAKER_04 33:33

Do it today. And then use the kiss method. Does everyone know the kiss method? No. Keep it simple, silly. You just say, keep it simple, right? Hey! I've been thinking about you. Wanna grab some coffee? Worst case, they're busy. Best case, you gain a friendship you haven't been with in a bit.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

That is true. And with that being said, let's show a little more love to our friends at Sunset Tattoo Parlor.

SPEAKER_04 34:09

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SPEAKER_00 34:18

Whether you're celebrating a milestone, honoring someone special, or finally getting that tattoo you've been talking about forever.

SPEAKER_04 34:25

Sunset Tattoo Parlor has talented artists ready to bring your vision to life.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

Text limitless to 305-710-8413. Hey, let them know Fernand sent you. We're friends.

SPEAKER_04 34:42

We are.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

Tell them we're friends. Anyways.

SPEAKER_04 34:46

Say, hey, you know our friends? Fernan Nat, right? And you just text them. Hey, our friends Fernand Nat.

SPEAKER_00 34:54

And I won't hate anyone if they want to get our logo, you know. It's okay. Oh my gosh. I'm on a roll right now. Anyways, okay. Serious question. Serious question because we're running out of time, guys. Serious question. How do you even make new friends as an adult? Stop asking that question, guys, because we just told you.

SPEAKER_04 35:14

But five-step plan.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

I don't know. I have I'm gonna make an app.

SPEAKER_04 35:19

Okay. Do adults fill out friendship applications?

SPEAKER_00 35:22

I don't know, but we should do an app. Hi, my name is Ned. I enjoy a good planner. Iced coffee, hot coffee, and I promise I won't cancel plans.

SPEAKER_04 35:33

Often.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

That would be my application. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:37

What's yours? Mine would say I love Disney. I work extremely long hours, available mostly on the weekends. I like naps, snacks, and random trips to Target.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

It's not like we're on a dating app, but it's a friendship app. There should be a friendship app.

SPEAKER_04 35:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Fern and Nat are going to have to pattern that. The truth is, making friends as adults takes a little bit more intention than it did when we were kids.

SPEAKER_04 36:03

It's true. Nobody's walking up to you at the playground saying, Wanna be my friend?

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Although, if someone offered Fern snacks first, he'd probably say yes. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_04 36:18

Oh man. It's true.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

How about ways we've learned to meet new people?

SPEAKER_04 36:24

Okay. Start with places you're already going. Okay. Church. Your kids' sports. The gym.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Volunteer opportunities, community events. Even work can be a great place to build friendships.

unknown 36:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:40

It's true. I've made a lifelong friend at work. And he's a lot younger than I am. But we are so tight.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

Like we're homies. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:53

You know? I mean, we literally talk every day.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

I mean, and if before anybody says I work from home, I don't see people, you can still make friends with your your work buddies, um, work at home. That made no sense, but you know what I mean. I work from home and I have some amazing friends. They don't even live in the same state, but they're amazing friends. I feel like I've known them forever. I feel like I've met them in person.

SPEAKER_04 37:18

What's funny is I feel like I know them.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Exactly. So there's no excuse, guys. You can still be friends. But, anyways, and here's something I've had to remind myself. This is something for myself. Don't be afraid to start the conversation. Compliment someone's shirt.

SPEAKER_04 37:34

I do that all the time.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Ask how long they've been coming to church or to the playground or wherever you are.

SPEAKER_04 37:40

I mean, hey, are we at the same supermarket? Like, how long you've been coming here? This is a I mean Oh my gosh. Hey, you like steak too?

SPEAKER_00 37:49

Or if you're at the supermarket, you can be like, man, which one do you think is the better brand of this? That is the easiest way. Especially if you're at a baby aisle. If you think about it. Facts. If somebody else is in the baby aisle with you at the same time looking at baby stuff, chances are they have a baby, guys.

SPEAKER_04 38:06

Or they have one on the way. And then right there, instant friendship.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

And you just made friends for your kids too.

SPEAKER_04 38:14

Yes. You're like wonder friends all of a sudden.

SPEAKER_00 38:17

It's true. Talk while your kids are playing together. Sometimes all it takes is one simple conversation.

SPEAKER_04 38:24

And don't underestimate becoming friends with another couple. It's awesome. And it's nice having people who understand marriage, busy schedules, raising kids, and trying to remember. Try to remember what today is.

SPEAKER_00 38:41

Yeah. Or finding people who love the same things as you Disney fans, um, cruise lovers, book club, fitness classes, craft groups, um, coffee lovers, hello.

SPEAKER_03 38:52

Not tea lovers for you.

SPEAKER_00 38:53

Yeah, not tea lovers. I mean, I'll make friends with them, anyways. Anyway, podcast listeners, shared interest with making conversation so much easier, guys.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

It really does.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

So, you know, don't wait for someone to invite you. Be the one who says, Would you like to grab coffee?

SPEAKER_04 39:11

But also keep your expectations realistic, right? Not every person you meet is going to become your bestie. And that's okay. Some people become close friends, some people become great acquaintances. Some are simply meant for a season.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

And before we go, we always end things with a challenge for the week. Here's your homework, guys. Introduce yourself to one new person this week. Not because it's easy, but because it might be the beginning of an amazing friendship. That person might need a friend.

SPEAKER_04 39:51

It's true.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

You don't know.

SPEAKER_04 39:52

If you're listening to this and thinking, I wish someone would reach out to me. Maybe God is calling you to be the one who reaches out first. Friendships may be harder to build as adults.

SPEAKER_00 40:06

But they're still worth investing in. Thanks for hanging out with us on Limitless Table Talk with Fern and Nat. We hope you laughed a little, smiled a lot, and maybe even found something to take with this with you this week.

SPEAKER_04 40:20

If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to follow, subscribe, leave us a review, and share it.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

With someone who could use a good laugh. Anyways, until next time, keep your conversations limitless, your hearts full, your adventures fun, and may your coffee mugs never be empty. We'll catch you at the table.

SPEAKER_03 40:49

Period.