"Faith over Fear"

Faith Over Fear

In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Spirit Sisters, we sit down with our guest Melissa as she shares her journey of choosing faith over fear in the face of uncertainty.

When Melissa was told she had a tumor, her world shifted in an instant. Fear tried to take hold—but instead of letting it consume her, she leaned fully into trusting God in a way she never had before. Through the waiting, the unknown, and the challenges, Melissa discovered what it truly means to surrender control and place complete confidence in God’s plan.

Her story is a beautiful reminder that even in life’s most overwhelming moments, God is present, faithful, and working behind the scenes.

If you’re walking through fear, uncertainty, or a season that feels out of your control, this episode will encourage you to hold tight to your faith and trust that God is with you every step of the way.

 Faith doesn’t mean the fear disappears—it means we trust God anyway.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Hey sis, and welcome back to the Spirit Sisters Podcast. We are so happy that you're here today.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Whether you're listening in the car, folding laundry, or just needing some encouragement, this is the space for you.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Yes. And today's episode is called Faith Over Fear. And honestly, it's something I think we all wrestle with almost every day.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Every day.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

And we're really excited because we have a spirit sister with us today. Um, and her testimony is one where fear was loud, like over everything. Did it out every noise and every probably everything positive. Sure. Like you could amount of.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Her story is also a reminder that God meets us where we are. So just to say it out loud, fear is real.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Oh, very real. Definitely. Yeah. And it shows up in many ways: fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of what could be, won't be, maybe even what you want it to be, you know, what what you're asking God for. Change is always fearful.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Yeah, I think also like it's sneaky. You can have hesitation or overthink. Fear is the enemy. So yeah. So but having fear doesn't mean that you don't have faith. Oh, yeah. So yeah. So we're very excited. Actually, let me go back to Second Timothy 1.7 on our Bible verse that we like to start with reminds us that God doesn't give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound of mind.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

I mean, you're human, so you're gonna have fear, which means that fear doesn't get to be in charge.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Right, right, right. And one of the most powerful ways we learn faith over fear is hearing real stories, such as the person that we have today, one of our very own spirit sisters, that we're very excited that she is here with us today. She is a person of strong faith. Oh, yeah. A leader, a mom, a teacher. And we are happy to welcome to us today Melissa. Yes. And we are super excited to be able to hear her testimony and what she has to say about faith over fear.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. Any chance I have to tell the story of God's faithfulness is always amazing. Yes. You know, when God does something amazing in our lives, we think we're never gonna forget it.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

And then for me, anyway, my experience is the next trial that comes along, all the lessons I think I'll never forget, gone. Gone. Oh, yeah. In the new situation. And so anytime we can rehearse God's faithfulness in a situation in our lives, to me, encourages me because it reminds me, Melissa, you have all these memorials of faith in your life. And every time you revisit them, it strengthens your resolve and your faith for whatever situation is coming next. Because we don't know. Yeah, we don't know what's coming. And I thank God I don't most of the time. It's better for me if I don't know what's coming. But he always does. And so when we get the opportunity to share, I think that's always his way of preparing us. Yeah. Okay, I'm I'm taking you back through this journey again to remind you I was there with you, and I'm still the same God. And whatever you face in the future, I'm so good. Right. Okay. So it's always good.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

So it's always small and good. Yeah. So take us back because I I do happen to know part of the story. So take us back to the time in Virginia. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

Where my world fell apart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

I can't ready to say where it all kind of unraveled and your world fell apart. And not something that you were expecting by any means. No.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

And again, that was probably good that I had no warning. So March 30th, 2020, right? The COVID year, I was a school teacher. And this was two weeks after all the schools had shut down. So March 13th was the day we were giving it two weeks to stop the spread.

SPEAKER_04 5:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

And so the governor had announced I was in my fourth block class and we all cheered. The students were decided. Your parents were detected. I was like, two weeks off. Oh my gosh, this is amazing. Oh, I remember that. And so because I was home during the day and it was really warm for March, which you know, Virginia and North Carolina did similar, right? Yeah. Like yesterday was warm. Yeah. Um, and so I we we lived on 23 acres, and our driveway was a third of a mile off the road on purpose so that we never had to see a person when we were at home. When you're a teacher, you don't always want to be within eyesight of students when you're on the porch in your pajamas or set. Right. Yes. And so my exercise routine, which I use that term extremely widely, was to walk the driveway four laps, and that would be a little over two and a half miles. And so I'd been to the grocery store. I had driven, I'd been to the grocery store, and I went for my walk. And when I would get to the end at the mailbox, I would step into the road and loop around. And we lived on a road that tractor trailers would barrel down to deliver gravel. Okay. And so I get to the end, I see the mailbox, I'm listening to a podcast. I glance down to touch the volume on my phone and collapsed in a seizure. And the next thing I knew, I opened my eyes to EMTs. Well, my son Jackson was home with me at the time. We've never had a medical situation in my family. I've been to the hospital three times. The oldest job to have our children. He was 13. He was in eighth grade. Frank was at work. And my middle son Carson was at work with him. Franklin was at work. And so Jackson was the only one home. He's riding the go-kart around, you know, our property. Enjoying not being at school. Yeah. And so I was at the opposite end of the property. Yeah. At the end of the driveway. And if he had seen it happen, he would never have known that was a seizure because we had no medical basis. Right. Right. It could have happened in the shower. It could have happened when I was driving to the grocery store that morning. It could have happened in the grocery store. It could have happened in my classroom. I didn't know. If we had not gotten out for COVID. And so instead, it's at the end of my driveway where I am visible from the room.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Right.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

Which was totally God.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

So there was a nurse who I did not know who lived on a road not far from me who happened to have the day off and she was supposed to be doing artwork. And she just happened to decide to go to a town not far from me to go shopping and had to come down my road to get there. When she's driving past my driveway, she sees me in the seizure. And at first, from far away, she thinks it's a teenager having a tantrum. Which at my age, I was a little flattered, rarely.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

You're in the same hello.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

So anyway, when she got closer, she was like, Oh, this person is having a seizure. And she pulls off and calls 911.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Oh, God.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

Thank God. So God positioned her exactly where she needed to be when she needed to be there. Yeah. Because the ambulance driver did not believe her because when he got there, I wasn't having the seizure. Of course not. And when I opened my eyes, he asked me if you ever had a seizure before. And I said, No. Well, Jackson told me I said, I don't give out medical information. But anyway, I I've never had a seizure. Right. And he told the nurse it's very uncommon. And during COVID, you didn't show up at a hospital.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

For a non-COVID emergency. Correct. So he argued with her three times. He did not want to take me because he thought I had heat stroke. And she was like, I witnessed this seizure. I know what it is. Yeah. And you need to take her right now.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

Yeah. So God for her. Thank God because she was driving by, she witnessed it. But she was adamant about you going in. Exactly. And she had the medical qualifications to diagnose enough.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Yeah. But if Frank had driven me to the emergency room during that time, I have no idea if they would have seen me. He would not have known possibly to say seizure if he had only found me collapsed and not seizing. So obviously coming in by ambulance, they took me to the back. They did some scans. They found a tumor the size of a golf ball pressing in my brain behind this eye. We had no idea. Now the fear part comes in because there were two worst-case scenarios in my brain. Well, outside of the tumor. In my mind, that could happen to a person. And one was a brain tumor. I just thought to hear those words would be terrible. The other to be attacked by a shot. Totally illogical. But anyway, brain tumor. So to hear the brain tumor identified with me was the opportunity for fear. Because to me that was an ending. Yeah. Right. It was, I had no experience with medical miracles in in my family because we've never had a medical situation. Right. Right. I have three children without an epidural because I don't like needles.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Right.

SPEAKER_03 10:41

So I know. Separate conversations.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

So I'd go on for epidurals because I wasn't going to go. Nope. I walked in and said, here's the gun from the IV.

SPEAKER_03 10:57

Well, I don't like I didn't like IVs either. Oh my gosh. Anyway, so to me, my challenge was now I've had a doctor tell me I have this huge thing in my brain that has to come out. What I did not expect that was for me the greater fear was surgery.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

Oh yeah. And so we had two weeks before the surgery. We met with a neurosurgeon a few days later and we scheduled the surgery. I didn't like having that much time because it gave my mind too much time to imagine scenarios, right? Yeah. So for me, my prayer was that God would remove the tumor supernaturally without surgery. And for the longest time I thought that was a prayer of faith. Right. We had a strong foundation and faith in the word from the church we'd been attending. You know, by the time we left, I'd been there 30 years. So we'd been there 28 by the time I had the tumor. And so I knew God didn't give us tumors or cancer or destruction or tragedy. I knew this was the enemy. And so, you know, we were well trained in God's word what to do when the enemy attacked us. Right. So what I thought was the prayer of faith, God, I'm gonna need you to remove this tumor supernaturally without surgery, I didn't realize till later it was fear. And that was the sneaky way that fear came in. Because what I was afraid of was trusting God through surgery, through the recovery.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:43

Because to me, to submit to anesthesia, yeah, IVs, yeah, to have no control in that kind of a situation that I had zero experience with success in, correct, uh-huh, was terrifying for me. And I couldn't admit that, right? Because I thought we're gonna be brave, we're gonna be bold, we're gonna ask God for big things, which is get that tumor out of my head before, to the point where when I showed up for surgery, I said, okay, I want you to know I've prayed and I've asked God to take this tumor out without surgery. So before you take me back to the OR, I'm gonna meet you to check to do a brain scan. To make sure, like, okay, you know. And so they did, but the tumor was still there. Yeah.

unknown 13:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

And that took me a really long time in conversations with God after the fact to find out why. But he gave me lots of amazing insight on how that was really his grace and some things that I really needed to learn. So that was the insidious part of fear for me was could I trust God to go through a process instead of have an instantaneous miracle that would allow me to avoid what I was afraid of? Yeah. Which was the process of surgery, all the unknowns. All the unestrows. All right, what would happen during surgery? Would the anesthesia work? My mom has a history of anesthesia not working on her. When I wake up, like what you know, what was all the unknowns? That's where my fear came in. But it took me a long time to recognize it because I assumed I was in faith.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Right.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

And so that for me was the real attack of the enemy. Yeah. Was disguising fear as something different. So that I still felt like I was doing the right thing by God's word when the whole time I wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Wow, that is so good. Yeah. So, how did you overcome like was there a moment, was it right before surgery, that you just said, I gotta, I gotta let it go?

SPEAKER_03 14:54

So I had two women I worked with at the school praying for me, and the one told me when she went into a difficult medical situation, she just whispered Jesus' name over and over, and that's what I did. Um wow. They took such pity on me, they numbed my hand before the IV because my hand was still swollen from the TR IV two weeks later. I'm still, you know. Yeah. And so I think she could tell I was totally freaked out. Yeah, yeah. And because it was COVID, Frank, they let him stay in the waiting room. But once I hit the recovery room and they let him see me, he couldn't come back till I was discharged four days later. Yeah. So it was like, you know, with all God use because it was good for me to not have my usual crutches, right?

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Yeah, yeah. You had to be in full submission though. You had to be my submission of realizing and knowing that you had to absolutely submit and let go of every little thing that you had fear over, or the enemy coming at you, and realizing that you have to just let this all go and have full faith and trust in God that He has got you where you need to be, that He's gonna take care of you. Exactly. Everything's gonna be fine, and not and knowing that, which is horrible back then too, of not having your spouse. Right, yeah, you know, and something detrimental as this. Yeah, because again, had we did they know yet whether it was cancerous? They did not, they didn't, right?

SPEAKER_03 16:27

They did not now from the shape of it, right? They were confident, right? It was uh not perfectly round, but it was round enough without any tails and things coming off of it. So they they were fairly confident, but they didn't know for sure until pathology came back, which was before I was released from the hospital. The surgeon came to tell me that pathology said that it was can't there was no cancer and they've gotten the entire tumor. We had a very good friend of ours who was an OR nurse who had worked with this neurosurgeon before who offered to assist in the surgery, which was great because she would come and update Frank. Oh, that's right. You know, and um one of the things they told him that doesn't happen often, which we didn't have a clue about it. We didn't even know what questions to ask, was that when they took it out, which you know, they they did the cosmetic incision on me, uh-huh, which even my hairstylist the other day when we were talking about it, and she was like, It's amazing because I don't see your scar like as far back as I get. It's amazing. Um but they they cut me pretty much from ear to ear and peeled the skin back and cut out part of my skull. I had titanium over here. I can feel titanium. My forehead dips in a little bit over here. Oh yeah. And they took it out and they said my brain moved immediately back into position, which after being pressed in in my frontal lobe is very unusual. So I never needed occupational therapy. I didn't even know that I was supposed to lose a lot of function.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Function, yeah. I showed up. That would be, yeah, I I know both of us are like, yeah, you're medical, medical. It wasn't on my radar until I came to an authentic.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

The first time I was allowed to drive by myself. Okay. And Pastor Penny called me up on the platform without telling me in advance, of course, to tell my story and pray for everyone in the building who needed a miracle. And Jessica Mendez's twin sister is an occupational therapist, and she came up to me afterwards and said, I want to tell you all the things you should not be able to do. Like even like holding a spoon. Yes, yeah. Yes, I constantly. She said I should have been droopy on one side, I shouldn't have been able to like a reflex. And I was about to teach him full time. Like I had no idea. All of it, no, all of it. So then I felt a little bit ungrateful. Like, God, I had no idea the scope. I I was just like focused on let me live. Yeah. I don't want to be paralyzed. Right. Right. Right. I don't want any mistakes during the surgery. That was kind of because of my limited understanding. And because they might have told me, but since Frank couldn't be there in the hospital, I was on a lot of heavy-duty painkillers. Yeah. And anti-seizure meds. I yeah, they might have told me, but I don't have a clue what they told me. I showed up at the hospital with an overnight bag with four days of yoga pants and cute t-shirts, a blow dryer, hair products. Make them say, Yeah. And the nurse said to Frank, what is this? That's her bag. She said, Oh, she's not gonna need this. He said, Well, I'm not taking it home. She packed it. It's here, like literally, they didn't let me. I was like, What do you mean I can't shower? Like, you have brain surgery.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, but we're not even showering.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

Yeah, so they all told me later how bad I smelled. You know, four days left. That's the sponge bath, those whites are not wet. That's not available. That's that's all that's not. But anyway, I mean, they couldn't come see me, so they didn't have to smell me in the hospital because I was alone. But but yeah, so for me, that was my first experience with fear that was disguised as something else. I had become pretty good at recognizing the regular old fear. Yeah, right. The lies that the enemy brought, right. I was not used to being afraid of trusting God. God would give me a plan and I would say, I got it. Yeah, I'll take it from here, meet you on the other side, right? I didn't know I was doing that, but I would make the plan. All right, God, I get what you're saying. You want me to do this, I'll get all that straight. We'll catch up later. Wow. You know what I mean? I didn't know I was doing that. So God used this situation to put me in something that I could not literally could not control. Literally had nothing to do but wait and trust. And that was very uncomfortable. If you're a person who's used to doing and planning, that was very uncomfortable for me, but it was exactly what I needed. And something going through the surgery was so critical because I had never noticed. Now I've been reading and studying the Bible for 40 years. It was 40 years in July since I got saved. I'd never noticed the power of the word through.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

So come on, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:23

So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

The the foreman in the fire, they went through the fire, they didn't avoid it.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Nothing like that.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

Daniel spent the night in the lion's dens. Right. Do you see why we have her up on the desk?

SPEAKER_04 21:36

Are you thinking about it?

SPEAKER_03 21:37

I always focused on escaping, going around adversity. Remember the bear hunts? All right, right? The children's hair mopad, like you're so preaching. I and I didn't realize this. But I thought the purpose of my faith was to avoid adversity. I thought God's goal for me was to avoid it, which in a lot of cases it is. It needs to be disappointed. Yeah, I think I can use for this. Yeah. But because of that, I had no practice going through difficulty. That's why we've never had a medical situation. Right. So for me, what I needed was to realign my theology to understand that's a purpose of the power of God is to go through what life throws at you. Doesn't mean the situations are from God. Correct. And a lot of people assume if you learn something in it, it must have been from God. That's not true. God just uses every single thing for his purpose. Right. But I had no idea the things I was missing out on because I refused to go through unpleasant, uncomfortable situations. And so I had all these muscles in my relationship with God that were atrophied.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

That I thought were strong. Right. Right. You know, like if you I went to the gym with Frank one day. Oh Lord. Right. He's taking me through all the machines. And then we get to biceps. And I was like, I can do these. I've done these sort of kind of things. Sometimes I do that. So I'm done. Gosh, this is easy. He only told me to do 12. He's like, sweetheart, let me show you how you really do them. Oh yeah. Oh, they're harder this way. So what God told me that day in the gym was your muscle's not growing because you're using it wrong. And he said, Your time in Virginia, you thought you were growing your faith muscle, but you weren't. Because it was just one part of my relationship with God that I was good at growing. So that when I faced that surgery, I was more panicked about the surgery than I was the tumor. Wow. And that's why I pleaded with him to remove the tumor without the surgery, because the surgery is what I was really afraid of. That's why I had to go through the surgery. Right. And that's when I understood that two people can pray the same thing and get two different answers. Not because God favors one and not because one prays better, right? But because what you need to learn might be the opposite of what I need to learn. Right. Yeah. And so two people could pray that morning about a brain surgery.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

Right.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

I was praying, I'm not going through the surgery, God.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Right.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

I can't handle that. So I need you to get the tumor out. Yeah. So I can avoid the surgery. The other person might have prayed, God, I don't think you're big enough to take the tumor out without the surgery. Yeah. So give me a good medical team.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:47

So maybe he would remove supernaturally the tumor of the other guy who didn't believe God would do that for him and leaves the tumor in me.

SPEAKER_04 24:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:57

Because what we each really needed to learn about God meant the opposite of what we prayed had to happen. And that was the first time I understood. Wow. Sometimes the reason you don't get that answer is because what I really needed, what I'd really been praying was for God to change me and use me. Yeah. That couldn't happen. If he had taken the tumor out, I would have assumed, see, I did it. Yeah. I applied the principles I learned from God's word. I used my faith. I prayed. Voila, no more tumor. Yeah. That would not have served me.

SPEAKER_01 25:33

Right.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

Because I would have continued to believe the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Right. And when you were talking and it's like, I did. Exactly. I applied the Lord. I'm not saying that. And he's like the back giving the honor to yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

That's when you were talking, I was like, man. Which was the Pharisees. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're the only group Jesus bust at.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:57

He didn't criticize the prostitutes and the tax collectors. Right. He criticized the religious leaders because they misrepresented God's heart to the people. And that's what I was doing without realizing it.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:11

Because what I was modeling was if you do this right, you never have to have a problem. When problems in the Bible are what create the testimonies to see God's power and faithfulness. A life without adversity doesn't point to faithfulness or power. It just points to, oh, well, you don't know because you've never been through it. So the tumor was really just a catalyst. Now understand I had a really good outcome, right? There was no cancer. Every MRI since then has been perfectly normal. There's been no hint. I had no residual brain function issues. It did not alter my career, my quality of life in any negative way.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

Yeah. I mean miracles.

SPEAKER_03 27:06

So this would be, I wouldn't necessarily be advocating for this particular view of my story.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Right.

SPEAKER_03 27:15

Had it ended in tragedy. So I understand those situations are different. I would not even attempt to speak to someone else's experience. But for me, it was the beginning of unraveling some knots I had tied in my doctrine and my understanding of God's word, that because of experiences I did not have, mostly because of my choice. You give me two choices. Right. Am I going to go the rocky road or the smooth paved road? Of course. Right? There's a song Ben Fuller and Carrie Underwood. Yes. So I was like, I needed that song before my surgery because that's that's the whole story. If it was up to me, I'd choose the easy road and I would miss the grace. Yeah. That has marked my life. Yeah. Because we wouldn't choose the situations that refine this thing.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Nobody wants to go in through adversity at all.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

No, of course not.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

No, no. And some, I think also, and like to your point too, of the fact that you you think that you have the faith, you have full trust and full faith in God that He's going to carry you, but you really don't want to go through it. You don't want the adversity. You don't want anything coming at you. You don't want the troubles. But again, into your circumstance and situation, there he was teaching you that you just thought you were really doing, but you weren't having full faith. And so I needed you to really trust in me to be able to take care of you. Which shows of why it wasn't cancerous. You didn't have, you know, the droopy face. You didn't have all the effects. You weren't, you know, to where you couldn't walk. You could hold a spell. You could do things like I feel like that is where it was like God showed you through everything of yes, this is gonna happen. I'm you're gonna go through surgery, but at the other end, I'm gonna show you the miracle of exactly. But you had to get through, you know, through the fire, essentially. Exactly. You know, through the land zone.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

And so that, and that's what I needed to see. The situation is what exposed the weaknesses in my foundation. Yeah. That, you know, someone can tell you. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I kind of think you might have this off. It's it's not that real to you until you walk through a situation and you go, Oh, yeah, all right. Yeah. That is a hole I have because I haven't, I haven't had to bridge that. You know, I have not put myself in a situation willingly that forces me to walk through that. And that's exactly what that situation ended up being for me.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

That's so good. I think some of us for that too, walking through is that you have, you know, walked through the adversity and have full faith. Where also I think that some of us might go through the adversity for other reasons though, the fact that you know, God's teaching you to be stronger in your faith. You've, you know, what you said 40 years, right? You know, where some of us have walked through certain things or going through things. Myself last year, you know, multiple deaths for things for Kayla, where God is teaching us not only to have full faith and that he walks with us and he carries us through that and through the valley, but also in the fact of we learn more about ourselves and who we are, and what I feel like what he's calling us to do and our purpose is, and sometimes in order for you to see that obedience, you do have to walk through the trial to know the miracle on the other side. Right. Was there anything that you like stuck to or verse that you stuck to, something that you just held on to, other than just, you know, praying and saying, you know, I'm I'm gonna trust in God to do this, and not, you know, obviously realizing that, but I didn't know if there was anything that you just kind of really hung on to.

SPEAKER_03 31:18

There were some, but mostly about God being with me because the fact that I once I realized I was going through the surgery, which was what I was focused on avoiding, right? It was more about being reassured, not even so much in the outcome because the doctors weren't that concerned about the outcome. It was more about the fact that I needed to be reassured that he was not leaving me while I was in there. Right. I was in a situation where Frank would not have been in the operating room anyway with me, but he was not going to be with me through recovery, right, while I was in pain in between dosages of the medication. You know, all those times that you don't realize how much you rely on people. Yeah. People that God sends in your life. Yeah, but I needed to be reassured that God was going to be with me. Let's be honest, sometimes we don't feel him. Yeah. Right. And we are used to remembering that he's there through a person. Yeah. Because God's so good to use people. Yes. Oh, yes. But I I mean, my kids couldn't come see me. Like I could not have people that I would have relied on to be my reassurance. Right. Right. That I was loved and protected and nurtured and taken care of. And so I needed reassurance from God Himself that okay, you're going through this, but I personally am going to be with you. And so that's kind of what my focus became prior to that. I spent a lot of time meditating on verses about faith. Yeah. Right. Because I still knew that faith is always the solution. It's the commodity, the tool that the Bible gives us to bring what the plan of heaven is down to earth. Right. And I knew I'm on earth, right? In the middle of a bunch of junk. And so I knew that that was how I was going to get it there. But not having the outcome be that initial outcome, what I was focused on, meant I had to shift my gear to what I was actually believing God for.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

That's so good. That's so good. Thank you all. Like there, you're talking about how it changes, you know, you as a person. And I like you're afraid to go through those things. Sure. But I also think that like when you go through adversities and you think you're, you know, relying on God, your characteristics of who you are is what has to change as well. True. What you thought that you were, yes, is not exactly true. Yes. And God says, all right, you I gotta build this up, or I gotta, you gotta go through this because what you think is a good thing isn't exactly some of the your characteristics of uh how you approach things, right? So, you know, you being afraid of the surgery is not a characteristic that I know of what is it today. Right, very true. So I didn't I did not know that you you held that characteristic of like and I didn't need them. Yeah, I didn't like what I think like I didn't think about God breaking down, like we always want to say, you know, God, you know, you're the potter, I'm the quick mold and make me and break me. But do we mean that as a characteristic?

SPEAKER_03 34:37

Because then we resisted because that's exactly what he starts doing.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

Like, well, you know what? That makes me me.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

Well, that doesn't make me who I made you, yeah. Exactly. And at the same time, when you're praying like I was, change me and use me. Yeah, he was honoring that. You know, saying, Okay, yeah. This is Melissa, this is what you asked for now. Do we ever understand what that means? No, thank God. Because would we give him permission? No, right. Never mind. No, never. If we had any idea how much had to be broken off of us uh-huh to be submitted to him, yeah, we would never invite him to do that. And then the very situations he sends into our lives to accomplish what we asked him to do, we complain to him about. Yeah, we reject them, we resist them, we call them the enemy, yeah. And he's like, Melissa, for real, you asked me to change you into my image. Yeah, these are all the relationships that aren't going great. I sent them to you. The high school kids that I put in your class, yes, that challenge you every day, I sent them to you. Right. All these situations that you're fighting against are the answer to that prayer. Right. But we have to be the ones to say, okay, I have to surrender to the fact that this situation is the answer I asked you for. It just didn't come right the way I thought it would. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Or how we how we want it.

SPEAKER_03 36:04

Exactly. It's not our preference. Yeah, it's uncomfortable. It's not encouraging, yes. It doesn't make us look good publicly, right? It's it's it's not flattering.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

That's the purpose, is it's supposed to flatter us. It's supposed to flatter animals. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. I'm so sorry. So sorry. No, what you mean? Speaking about the enemy, um, as you guys have known, we we have had that come at us with our podcast and the way we are using our voice. And, you know, that is the one thing the enemy will try to take away from us is our voice. And we will not allow it. So Isaiah 41, 10 says, Do not fear, for I am with you. And that was one of the verses that I've done. Yeah. I and there we go, ladies. God shows up when we need him to show us right there. There is no like things happen for a reason, there is no consequence. He shows up, and here we are talking with Melissa today and saying, So I just thank you so much for one, you know, coming on, being vulnerable and trusting us and just sharing in everything that you've walked through, your your story, how God changed you. I know it's so hard for, you know, some of our listeners are new to their Christianity and new to everything. So they're probably sitting back, you know, almost scared of like, wow, you girls are talking about a lot of adversity. You know, we want to make sure that you guys know that it's, you know, trust in him. You know, let him take everything, give it to him, lay it at his feet, trust him in everything that you do. So we just want to let you know if you're listening right now and fear has been holding you back. We want you to hear this that you are not behind, you are not weak, and you are not failing.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

Faith doesn't mean that you always have the answers.

SPEAKER_01 38:17

Right, right, right. Just know the one who doubts. Right. Right. Exactly. Right. You know, sometimes it's just saying, God, I don't know what's next, but I trust you. Exactly. And those simple words are just enough for him to have and for you to understand as well. And God honors that kind of faith. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 38:33

And God honors your realness. Yes. Thank you for being real with us. Absolutely. Real conversations with a about a real God, you know, real problems that someone out there who's listening will have gone through a similar, maybe not same situation. Right. Yeah. Similar that it's coming. Sure. That that's something on their path that this is what they need to hear because they may be facing a medical situation that they've never had before. Absolutely. So this can be an encouragement for someone to submit themselves.

SPEAKER_01 39:05

Yeah. Yeah. Anybody that it will be. I I I know personally of some people that are walking through adversity. And I think just knowing, you know, the outcome on the other side, knowing that you're gonna be okay. Yes. You know, he's got you. He's got you. So whatever you're facing today, we we as we always say that you do not face it alone. You do not face it alone. We are always here for you. And as we normally do here on the podcast, we are going to do a prayer. Um gather. Thank you, Father, for meeting us here today and meeting us in the fear. You have seen every heavy heart, every uncertain step. Help us choose faith. Even when fear is loud, you remind us that you are with us, that you go before us, and that we can trust you completely. We give you our worries and our lives, and we just praise you as well whenever we are in those in the valley. We give you all the praise, we give you all the glory, and we know that you carry us, and we just appreciate everything you do in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

So thank you for spending your time with us today. We appreciate all the love and support that we are giving here on the podcast. We would love to know how we can pray for you.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

So DM us, email us, Facebook, whatever social media you use. We want to hear from you.

SPEAKER_01 40:39

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And we do hope that this has encouraged you. Please be sure that you share this episode with somebody that you think needs to hear it as well. Um, and as always, we love you to fight over fear.

unknown 40:54

Okay.