Words Matter

One sentence can change a friendship, a reputation, or the direction of your whole life. That’s why we went straight into James 3 and took an honest look at the tongue: the smallest “tool” we use, and the one with the biggest blast radius when we use it carelessly. Gian unpacks why teachers and influencers face stricter judgment, then connects that warning to modern platform culture where anyone can post, go viral, and shape people without the accountability that character requires. 

We talk about how words aren’t just sounds, they’re heart indicators. When we get pressed, embarrassed, or angry, our speech often exposes what’s really going on inside. And we don’t stop at personal mistakes. We trace how “just words” can become ideologies, laws, and cultural habits, then bring it home to everyday life: rage bait, comment section debates, church criticism, workplace complaining, and the kind of “spill the tea” gossip that feels normal until trust is gone. 

To make it practical, we use a simple framework: bite, don’t break, build. We learn when to bite our tongue with wisdom and strength, why “venting” can become slander, and how a gospel changed heart leads to life giving speech. We close with concrete ways to build people up: share the gospel with gentleness and respect, encourage with specifics, ask better questions, and speak highly of others when they’re not around. If this challenged you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review with the one speech habit you’re trying to change.

Transcript

Summer Check In And Announcements

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Alright. How are we doing today, guys? I'm not I'm not convinced. Alright, wait, wait, wait. No, no, let's not do the force clap yet. By a show of hands, how many people are excited for the summer? How many of you are about to be on summer vacation? Only a few of you? What are the rest of you doing? Working? How many of you are working? Oof. Yeah. How does that feel to know now that you're not going to have a summer again? Oh, I know, I know, I know. It's tough. Well, listen, summer, even though you work, guys, you will learn that summer can still be fun. It's a time where we get to do a lot of things, and especially here, we're going to have a lot of things going on throughout the summer. Just heads up on June 11th, we're going to be having our late night. That's two weeks out. And it's going to be our summit Yeehaw. If you don't know what that is, there'll be more information on that soon. But it's going to be a fun time. But with that being said, listen, if you are here today, I'm so happy you're here.

When Anger Makes Us Say Anything

SPEAKER_01 1:05

My name is Gian, and I have the unique privilege of being able to lead this group here and teach and share what God's been teaching me. And so, by a show of hands, how many people here have ever had a moment when they were younger and they were so angry? You know what I'm talking about? Like when you're so angry. And maybe some of you grew up in a Hispanic household like me, and you can't slam the door. That wasn't allowed in my house. But you felt so angry, and and and you had a thought come across your mind, and you said, I'm gonna run away. How many of you remember that by a show of hands? Okay, a good amount of you. How many of you actually started to like pack up things? Okay, it cut in half. How many of you were too scared to pack up, but you really wanted to pack up? Okay. Listen, I remember one time I was so angry at my parents, and I just thought, man, I had enough. I'm done. And I start packing up this little this little backpack thing, and then I'm like, wait, if they see this, they're I'm gonna get in trouble. And so I'm like, I gotta think about, and I so I literally go to my mom, I'm like, mom, what would happen if I run away? And she's like, you don't want to find out. She said, You don't want to find out. And so I didn't run away, but I remember saying so much as I'm crying, as I'm screaming, I'm gonna run away, I'm gonna run away, I'm gonna run away. Or maybe you have siblings and you remember what it is like when you had your first sibling fight. I hate you. You you say things like, I hate you, oh my goodness, like you're the worst. And I just wit you would say something like this, and it was it's the worst, like when you think back about it, but you say, I wish you were dead. And that's a crazy thing to say, but we said things like that, and we never really meaned it. And you see, there's a thing in us, as as time has moved on, our words have gotten cheaper and cheaper and cheaper. They don't mean as much to us anymore. I mean, you think about just a hundred years ago, you had you had things like the I have a dream speech. You go back a little further, you have the the Gettysburg Address, and you you have these moments in time where where people would say things, and when they said it, they meant it, and now you could say whatever. You go on TikTok, you find someone's talking about the world is flat. You're it uh someone was telling me about um your dead to me list. I don't know what that is, I don't want to know what that is. And we just treat our words like they don't matter. And the reason we're talking about this today is because our words do matter.

Why Words Got So Cheap

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Our words matter a lot. And so we've been going through this series in James, and last week Zach, Vic, and Justin talked about this idea, and James 2 is it ended with this idea faith without works is dead. And so we unpack this idea that essentially our actions would reveal what our faith was in. And so James is gonna move into James 3, and he's gonna talk about the tongue. Because the tongue is the one work, is the one thing that you do that reveals so much about you. And so we're gonna we're gonna get into the the text in a moment here, but before we do, we're gonna pray. We're just gonna pray, and so if you would just join me, and just for a moment, right now, would you pray? Maybe you never prayed before, would you just pray that God would speak to you tonight? That if he's really there, if he if he really is seeing us and hearing us, that he would right now have something for you. Would you pray that God would speak to them? And now would you pray for me that God would speak through me, through his word, through his spirit, that he would have that that would be clear and as clear as possible for you guys to understand what the text is saying. Father, we believe your word is God breathed, that is alive and active. I just pray that you would show us that tonight. We pray this all in Jesus' name. Amen.

James 3 And The Weight Of Teaching

SPEAKER_01 6:06

So if you have your Bibles, we're gonna pull those out now. You could if you have it, I prefer you not be on your phone, but if you have it on your phone, that's you know, that's an option. We're also gonna have the passages up on the screen so you can follow along, but we're gonna be in James 3, and we're gonna start off in verse 1. So I'll give you a moment. Can I get can I get a thumbs up when you're there? Something? All right, we got we got people there. Alright, so we're in James 3, starting in verse 1. Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. This is a pretty tough passage for me to teach right now. You know, it's it's it's a lot of pressure writing here, but we're gonna start here. In this time, when you think about a teaching position, you think about first century Judaism and the fact that they're under rule by Rome, there's really no power to be had for the Jews. But there is one position that is esteemed, that had honor, that had influence, and that was the position of a teacher. And in that time, you see, it was normal for people to become teachers, but it wasn't easy. You see, it was the equivalent of being a PhD. You would have to go to Bible school and then rabbinical school, and you had to learn, you had to memorize the entire Bible, you had to memorize for them the Mishnah and all these other things. You you had to learn it and you would spend hours and hours studying it. And you had people who really loved God's word, and that's why they came into the profession. But then you have other people who just want the status, who want the influence. There's no other way, there's no political, like naturally, this is the only thing that you could kind of earn that you could have some status or influence. And so people wanted that. And so they would start to grind and they would start to to seek these out. And the good thing though, that since the bar of entry was so high, right? Since the bar of entry was so high, it would naturally weed people out. Like there's a reason most of you guys in here, I don't know if there is at all, but you're not doctors. Why? Doctors make good money, they they have they they have a lot of status, they have influence, but why wouldn't you be a doctor? Well, because it takes 10 years of school and no one wants that. And so, in the same way, we see that today. We see people who want to be teachers, who want to influence, who want to hold some type of status because it's just it's the thing to do. Like how it's clout, right? We want clout. In fact, it's even worse today than it was then. There's no bar of entry today. You download an app on your phone, you post a video, boom. You got some type of connection to an audience that you like. I need you guys to realize this that in your pocket right now, you hold this thing right here, has the capacity to reach to more people in one minute than it used to take those people in their entire lifetime or multiple lifetimes. And you you like you realize today, like at least back then, like if someone was like teaching for the wrong reasons, you cut you could kind of sniff it out, right? You you you could be like, man, this person's a fake. I see their life, I see how they act, I see how they they go about. But when you're online, you can't see that. How could you? You don't know the people, you just see them online and you see what they portray. And here's the thing you we we so easily make idols and heroes of people that we'd actually, if we were in real life, we'd actually be embarrassed to know. Like, how many times have celebrities got gotten ousted or or or even like you think about pastors, pastors get who have massive online presence exposed. Their life wasn't congruent. You see, we live in a time where it's normal to have a platform. In fact, everyone wants a platform, and we're okay with this because we say, well, it's entertaining. Right? There's good content out there, and you know, we we also like the fact of people giving us their opinions. You know, our our generations like to be like, man, I'm different, I'm unique. Man, half the clothes you're wearing, the cars you buy, the the colognes you wear, the places you shop at, all influenced. You you say, I want to be independent, I want to be different. No, you don't. You want to be like everyone else. And so it's ironic because we're not actually all that different. And so James, as a form of kindness, says something that is at odds with our culture, and it's this truth that the position of influencing, this position of teaching is one that comes with a heavy call, and it says, You will be judged more strictly by God. That's a scary thought. You will be more judged, and you will be more strictly judged by God. Uncle Ben said it best, he said, With great power comes great responsibility. We remember that line. And for most of us, this makes sense. We we have lines like practice what you preach, talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? And this is part of that reality, but it's not the whole thing. You see, people who teach, people who have influence, have a unique aspect within their job, which is that the primary tool they use is what you guys can answer. What do what do people who influence usually have to do? Yes, there we go. They have to talk, they have to use their words. And so you think about like I need you to realize as we continue on this passage that this isn't for just for those who want to teach. I know it starts there and it's gonna get heavier as we go on, why this reality is important, but it's it's because this passage is about our tongue, it's about our words. And so the first line, again, is gonna get heavier as we proceed. And the tricky thing about passages like the one we're about to read is it's really clear and it's really easy to follow. And you say, wait, why is that a tricky thing? Because here's the thing

The Tongue As Rudder And Fire

SPEAKER_01 12:50

when something is so easy and so simple, we end up just missing the weight of the teaching. Like we'll read it and we'll be like, yeah, that makes sense, and we'll just move past it. But we're we're gonna slow down, and so I'm gonna try to be really practical today, and so that's gonna be my focus for us to deeply understand the weight of what he's saying, so it could truly make us realize how important and how prevalent and how profound this concept is. And so we'll move to verse two. It says, We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who's never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. How many people in here, and I know um it's really interactive today, how many people in in their life have said something and regretted it? All of us. If you didn't raise your hand, it's just not true. Notice how James says we, because he himself is included in this. James, we talked about this the first week we started in James is that James didn't believe in Jesus while he was around. Imagine the things he said about his brother. He wishes he could take those back. I'm I'm sure he does. And so then he he he shows us that we all mess up in our words, and then he proceeds to set the standard by saying, anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep everything else about themselves in check. And so he's he's not speaking metaphorically. He he's acknowledging, yes, the fact that we're all flawed, but he's setting a standard. He's setting a standard that that the true standard of perfection, of being like Jesus, of holiness, is often most measured in the words we say. That this is this is the one thing that is a clear indicator that clearly shows us that if we can control this thing, which none of us can, he just acknowledged that if we can, we would be perfect. And so we are we starting to see the connection from the last chapter. Because this is exactly what Jesus meant in Matthew 12, 34 when he says, Out of the heart, the mouth speaks. And so this connects to chapter two in the sense that our words are actually indicators of what's in the human heart more than any action we do. This is the reality of the brokenness of humanity, the sin in us. Like that's the reality of why we mess up on our words. And so James is setting the standard and saying that we will be perfect on this side of eternity, but he's not saying that that we'll be perfect on this side of eternity, but rather as a measure of holiness that we can strive for as we grow and mature in Jesus. And so we're gonna continue on verse three. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder, rudder. Rudder? Wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small part, a spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body and sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. Last year, I don't know if you guys remember, but in California we had the Palisades fire. And this fire had caused over fifty billion dollars worth of damage, fifty-seven thousand acres, which is more than Providence and Cranston combined, and more, sixteen thousand structures, more than two hundred thousand people displaced, and this was all caused by this. Or we say things like words only have power if we give the give it to them. And so when James says this, when he says the fire causes all of this, we start to think he's dramatic. That is, you know, we say things like he's soft. Words don't hurt people. And we we start to really doubt. Like we feel this tension almost in a moment of like, are words really that destructive? Because to us, words are simply noises that come out of our mouths. That's what we simplified words to. And I want to make the case that words are actually more significant and that words are never just words. In fact, biblically, I believe that they hold a divine type of weight.

Words Become Ideologies With Consequences

SPEAKER_01 18:20

So we're gonna start here. In the beginning, God created everything through his words. Words, in essence, was the medium by which he brought what was in his intelligent mind into reality itself. Then we fast forward, we see in John 1 that Jesus Himself was the Word, that Jesus Himself is called the Word, in which all things came to be, that God in of Himself, in some part by nature, is Word. And we see that in us. That humans, that as people, we have this distinctive ability to communicate with one another. No other animal in the world can communicate like we do. They can communicate, but not in the way that we can. It's unique and it's part of the image of God. Theologians believe that's part of that Imago Dei, that that is imbued in us. That is, we have a speaking God, that we are also speaking creatures. And Scripture, God's word, is said to be God breathed, right? We prayed that alive and active. And in the passage we just read, words clearly hold this cosmic weight in which this tiny thing can bring upon chaos and destruction. And you see, words matter because we were created by a God who speaks, and words ultimately reflect the realities of the human heart. And I realize that for some of you that feels insufficient. Some of you, when I talk, I say that the Bible says this, you're just like, that's a trust me, bro. And you're like, I'm not buying it. So let me show you with our history alone. This is just in the past 100 years. You see, words don't just stay words, words become ideologies, they become philosophies, doctrines, and laws. And so let's start with Marxism. And I ideology that led to the Soviet Union, Maoist China, and the Khmer Rouge killing between 80 million to 100 million people. Or the idea that Darwinism, it's just words, right? It's just words on a book, words in the page, words that we were taught that Darwinism was the motivating fuel for eugenics, which led to abortion, but it also led to Nazi Germany and led to the Holocaust, which led to the death of over 75 million people. Or words, words on just the paper, right? Jim Crow laws that people of skin of certain skin colors, right? They were seen as less than. Why? Because the law said so? Words on a piece of paper? See, words have power. Words started collect to colonialism and and and and and lead to wars and murder. And you go throughout all of history and you'll see this pattern. It begins with the words. And for all this talk about what humans can do, how good society can become, we can search the stars, we have rockets, and we have Elon Musk doing crazy things, we have AI. We can do all these things, but the one thing we can't do is tame our tongues. Verse 7 says, All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison. So now that we understand why words matter, we need to start thinking about how this impacts us.

Bite Your Tongue Before You Speak

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Because we were formed in a culture where we treat words cheaply. Social media and the content machine has made everyone an expert. Everyone's opinion supposedly matters. Everyone has something to say. And shock, value, and entertainment are king. And so I want us to understand the three different ways that we use our tongue. And that way, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can begin to identify it and prayerfully and actively grow in the way we use our tongue. And so I try to make it really easy to memorize. And so first way we can end up using our tongue is to bite our tongue. That is to say, to not speak. You see, in 2026, it's often the opposite. You say whatever is on your mind or you share your opinion, and that's the popular thing to do. It's seen as raw, it's seen as authentic, which is why everyone and their mother has a podcast. Everyone creates content. Everyone wants to be someone. And social media has capitalized on this. It's manipulated our natural human desire to be seen and known and has fed us a lie that to do that we need large amounts of influence. And so it makes sense why we think influencing is the way to do this. Like a lot of you see people online. You see Bryce Crawford, you see George Jenko, you see Girls Gone Bible, or you see anyone online, Steel Vaughn, Joe Rogan, you name it. You see someone online and you think the way to have impact is what? I gotta start a podcast. I've heard it so many times. Young guys, they'll be like, man, I love Jesus. I want to talk about it. Let me let me start, let me make content about Jesus. Let me start an online Bible study. Let me let me make let me do this podcast thing. And it's like, man, I love you guys so much, but like, have you even like done a Bible study with someone in person? Like, have you discipled someone? Like, do you know what it is to to like hold people's burdens and to counsel them? Do you know what it's like to sit with someone who is struggling and listen? Have you sat around teaching long enough to know what you don't know? Like it's it's crazy. Like, and and here's the thing say you did, right? Say you did start a podcast or whatever. Would the people in your church take you seriously? Would the people around you take you seriously? And if not, why? Oh, it's because they're all haters. No, it's not because they're haters. Because maybe your character is not there. Maybe you're not living what you were preaching about. And that matters, that matters, guys. And here's the thing, friends, I'm not I'm not trying to be mean, I'm not trying to be discouraging you, uh, discouraging. I'm just trying to warn you the same way that James did. Because the best case scenario the best case scenario is you teach someone, right? You you you post some content online and someone sees it for a moment and passes on. But the worst, the worst case is you post something that that can lead someone astray, that can disturb discourage them, hurt their faith. And that sticks with people. And not only does that stick with people, the Bible says you're gonna have to give an account for every word you say. All of us, not every single one of us is gonna have to give an account for every word we say. And do you want to stand before the Almighty God and say, like, what are you gonna say? What are you gonna say? He said, Whatever, if you cause one of these little ones to stumble, people often think about that verse for children. No, no, he's talking about people young in faith. That's really the context of the passage. If you cause one of these these little ones to stump stumble, it's better for you to wrap a millstone around your neck and throw yourself in the ocean. And it's not even as a punishment, it's so that you would hope that you would get far enough from the face and the wrath of God because it is a serious thing to teach and influence. It's not something that anyone should take up lightly. And I know our culture tells us this, but I'm warning you in the same way that James warns, it's it's it is not to be taken lightly. And you don't have to believe me, but one day you will stand before God and you're gonna have to give an account for the things you said, the things you posted. And some of you are like, Man, but I'm not influencing or teaching, so I guess I'm off the hook. And James is still saying the same thing applies. Your words are your witness. The things you say, whether you like it or not, often define you. People know you by the things you say. Like we we all had that guy in high school who would be goofy, who'd be a clown. We want we wanted him to say something, right? We felt that man, like, oh man, what's he gonna do today? And we thought we thought, like, we we become defined by the things we say and things we do. And man, I I see and hear it often where people say, I'm just blunt, I'm just voicing my thoughts as an excuse to be mean or condescending or rude, and that's not an admirable thing, admirable thing. In fact, it's a character flaw. The Bible says, Proverbs 10, 19, when words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lip is prudent. Like some of you guys, you say you want aura, man, it would just serve you best sometimes to just say nothing. Proverbs 29, 20. Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. There's actually wisdom in learning to not say whatever comes to mind. You see, biting our tongue is actually having the humility to realize not everything needs to be said. Which brings us earlier in the book of James where we talk about being slow to speak. You know, we ate pizza over here and we talked about that, being slow to speak and learning to listen. And you know why it's often the fact that we don't listen and why we feel the need to ramble on. I've thought about this as I prepared it, and I thought about myself, and I've I've just thought about all the conversations. You know what it is? It comes down to one thing. We're insecure. We feel the need to make sure people know we matter, that we know best, that we're heard. We feel we feel it because our words, again, are reflecting the state of our heart, which is pride. It's because we're more concerned with ourselves than anything else. But Jesus shows us that silence is powerful. He shows us that silence is confident, that silence can be true strength. In Matthew 27, 12, 14, this is Jesus in the process of about to uh of being about to be crucified, and it says, But when he was accused by the chief priests and elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate said to him, Do you not hear how many things they testify against you? But he gave them no answer, not even to a single charge, so that the governor was greatly amazed. Can you imagine that? What would you do in that moment? Guys, I'm innocent. I'm the Son of God. You could flex all your authority, all your power in that moment, but what does Jesus do? He's silent. He knows who he is, he knows what he's there for, he knows who his father is and what his father is doing. And so he doesn't feel the need to speak. You see, biting our tongues is not a sign of weakness. It's it's it's strength. It's the only reason we can even live out some of the things Jesus says to do. Like you think about do not revile when reviled, man, sometimes you just gotta bite your tongue. You think about, you know, let no foolish word proceed from your mouth, sometimes you just gotta stop talking. He says, love your enemies. You know what maybe the starting point to loving your enemies is? You gotta get to know them, you gotta talk to them. Imagine having to talk to your enemy, the person that you feel the most anger towards. If you actually wanted to find reconciliation and unity, for moments you would have to bite your tongue. It's wisdom, guys. And so you see, I'm not saying we should never speak, right? It's important that we talk, but I'm saying wisdom and maturity allows us to know when to speak. And that brings me to my next point. And the reason many of us need to consider biting our tongue is because we often use them to break. So bite, break. I'll explain how after this verse. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. Now often people read this verse and instantly see the word cursing, and simply go to assume

How We Break People With Words

SPEAKER_01 31:40

this passage is talking about swearing. And I think to simplify this text that is not really helpful nor productive because I see it all the time. People will come here and they'll stop swearing when they're here, or people who are coming here and bring someone along. They mean well, they're trying to be helpful, but they tell people, hey, you shouldn't swear or curse, without really dealing with the real issue. James is talking about something much deeper. He says, with the same tongue we praise God and then curse human beings made in God's likeness. So the issue is not that you just said a bad word. The issue is that you can sing to God, you can pray to God, talk about God, and then use that same mouth to tear down someone made in the image of God. And James says, this should not be. And so I'm gonna be super direct and practical for these next moments. Right? I'm if if this man, if this gets you, I'm sorry, not sorry. Um I'm just trying to be as honest and real as possible. I know I just said we shouldn't always do that, I'm but I I am trying to really drive in the point here. And so as we as we go through these, if this describes you, I you need to ask the question, is this what is this what James is saying when he means it should not be so? Like, am I a Christian and that like this is just something that shouldn't be the case? Or is this something like there's a pattern here, and there's something much deeper, and maybe I'm not fully believing in what I say I'm believing. And you need to hold that reality right now. You need to hold that loosely. And so, um, yeah, let's start. And so the obvious ones are are you mean or rude? Are we respectful and courteous? Are we crude? And these are ones that most of you would be like, of course, my mom may raise me right. I treat all people with respect and kindness. Unless, right? Unless, you know, well, what they're kind of being, you know, they're kind of being snarky to me. They're kind of being mean to me. Man, they're do you know what they said to me? And all of a sudden, we feel justified. Right? You or or or even worse, it's not sometimes that they're only mean to you. Sometimes it's, man, they told me something that I don't agree with. And maybe it's the actual truth, but I hate the way they did that. I hate the way they said that. And so some of you think that, like, it's okay in that scenario when you feel threatened, when you feel pressed, that you can say whatever you want, that all of a sudden, like, now I can do what I need to do. I need to go into defense mode. And you say, Man, I have control of my tongue. It's only in those scenarios. Let me be real. It's kind of convenient that the moment you are pressed, that your pride is threatened, your words start to give you away. And you can try to say, Yeah, but I'm choosing when. But it's convenient to give yourself permission to do what's wrong at the exact moment it's most difficult to do what's right. Like in the moment where you actually have to do the right thing, all of a sudden, yeah, it's I have control, but in this moment when it's actually hard to do the right thing, I'm gonna do the wrong thing. But I have control, trust. And this is just so prevalent. And the reason it flies under the radar is because most of the times we're already living in this mode. Our content machine, the algorithms, the the feed, uh they they feed on rage bait. How many of you know what rage baiting is? We all know what rage baiting is. We've been rage baited. You get rage baited by politics, theology, shocking statements, cancel culture, and all of that feeds into this idea. It needs you to be angry and to respond angrily while you and you think you're justified. It feeds the algorithm. Man, let's get more comments. How much hate can I get on this video? And so it starts to it starts to grow. You start going into comment sections. I know some of you have done that. You go into comment sections and you start debating people, or you start debating your friend group or or your family, and you pick a fight and you tear people down with your words, you say vile things, or maybe you say things that you think are noble, and you say things like, These people are evil, these people are the problem, they deserve it, and before we know it, our words start to have the ripple effect. We talk about all the tension in our country. Let's just be real for a moment. All the tension in our country, we can't be united. Think about the impact of those words. How they're demeaning, how they they they seem to decrease the other side to subhuman, so it's easier and we feel more justified in what we we say and do. And so we're so easily annoyed, we're bothered, we're offended and angry all the time. We complain so much, we criticize everything. We have this weird addiction to being upset. I don't get it, but we do. I'm I'm culprit one. I complain about everything. I hate it. I hate that about myself, but we do. And it manifest it starts to manifest itself in everything. And so you grumble and you complain about politics and you get angry because you watched a TikTok video, and so all of a sudden now you're the expert, right? You watch the TikTok video and you can tell everyone about this massive social event, so socioeconomic reality, philosophical thing, because you watched one TikTok video, granted, one, right? So you must be an expert. And now, because of that, you can you can just you you have license to be angry. Or you go to churches, and this one's pretty common. You go to churches and you you you start complaining about the way they do things, the way they say things, the worship, the sermon, the preaching, the parking, and then you go to another church and you start to you'll be like, Yeah, I went to that church down the street, man. They did all these things wrong. You start complaining about the church, and then as on your way out, you're complaining about the church you were just in. And then it begins to seep into our jobs, and it goes beyond simply complaining. Most of us have done this. Your your boss leaves the room, and suddenly what happens? Your best friends were all your coworkers. Why? What are you bonding over? You're you're ragging on your on your boss. Can you believe he said this or he did this or she said that? And we're literally bonding. This is how how rooted it is in our society. We're literally bonded by breaking other people apart. And we and and it goes even further, we find it restful. Right? We love coming home after a long day, and and we just we just we come home to to to our wives, to our husbands, and to to our roommates, and we just start saying, Man, work sucked today, man. Oh, it was the worst. And you just start ragging on everything, complaining about everything that went wrong, talking poorly about our jobs, talking poorly about people, and we use this excuse, right? We just say, I'm venting though. We do this in our friend groups. You're hanging out with your friends or your roommate, someone leaves a room and it's like, sis, spill the tea. Tell me everything. And we unload all this drama, all this confidential information, all these details that were never ours to share. And especially as Christians, we know how to sanitize it. Right? The Christians are even more culpable of this. I'm just I'm being honest because I got to call you know our people out. We it we say things like we go, we'll go, it's it's been a hard week. We name a person, and then we say, This person really wronged me. And we give half the details, or we exaggerate some of it, we just spend the truth a little. We're not trying to, but we're just being hyperbolic. We're we're emotional. And we and we want people to understand why it's been so hard and how this person has wronged me. And so, again, we can call it venting, or we can call it processing, or we can call it sharing, but a lot of the time those are just sanitized names for gossip, sanitized names for slander, sanitized names for lying. And some of you ask, why don't people seem to like me? Or why don't they get close with me? And I'm not saying this is everyone, but let me be honest, first for those of you who need to hear this, because I love you, maybe it's because you're hard to be around because of the way you use your words. You complain about everything, you can be mean and hurtful, you talk poorly about people when they're not around. How why would anyone trust you? And when you're not complaining, you're you're you're not gossiping, you're not stirring up drama, your words are simply empty of anything with meaning. You just talk about things that are vapid, not really important. So why don't people like to hang out with me? And this is why James uses these pictures. Can fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? Can a fig tree bear olives? Can a grapevine bear figs? No. Why not? Because it's a category error. It's not what it is. Uh uh an orange tree can't give you apples. Guys, it can't. And so James is saying this matters because why would anyone listen to us if we lie? Why would they listen to us if we're rude or mean or dismissive? Why would they believe that the gospel gives new life if all our our words do is bring death? It's a fool's errand to try to make someone live out a concept they don't believe. If you're just trying to sanitize your speech, that's not what this is about. And let me be super clear. I need to be really clear because this always happens. This is not supposed to become a list of things to do and things to not do. I know that there are people who will hear all of this, and and I know because it's happened. I've I've come down from the stage, and people are like, great speech, bro. And I'm like, what do you learn from it? Man, I just gotta be a better person. That's not what this is. That we believe that Jesus died and he rose to save us, and we receive the Holy Spirit, and because of that, it begins to change what we do. And so we don't do these things to become new, we don't do these things to become a Christian, we don't do these things to become a better person. We do these things because we have been made new. We're not the same thing trying to be better, we're something completely different. Because if the heart is made new, then yes, our tongue is is is not only restrained

Heart Change Not Behavior Polishing

SPEAKER_01 43:20

from breaking people down, the tongue starts to be used to build people up. It's a heart change, guys. It's not just do better. If that's what you hear from my sermon, do better, please. Let's let's talk after this. It's not that, it's not a bunch of do's and don'ts. It's it's a gospel truth. You need to believe in in Jesus and what he's done, and it's a miraculous thing that the Holy Spirit will begin to change us. Because it it he talks about right in James, I'll go back to to go forward. He talks about the bit on the horse's mouth. As is. If it if we just let our own hearts run the bit, we're gonna do damage. Even if we're trying our best and we try to control it, we're gonna lose control. If if we if the but no one's at the bit, if nothing is guiding us, or or or it's just gonna be chaos, pure chaos, and so we clearly can't hold it, and no one can hold it. So the only person that can hold it, the only person that makes sense to be at the helm of the ship is the Spirit of God. That once that's there, things will start to change. And so I want to I want to end here because I don't want this to be a negative note, because our words are powerful, guys. You think about what words have been used to do in history. Yes, it's been used to do awful things, but it's also been used to do so many amazing things. So many of the amazing things that we experience in our life on a day-to-day basis started through through the transmission of words. I forget. He says, Every good gift comes from above, from the Father of lights. Every good thing that we experience has come from words being used for the good of people. And as Christians, we have a particular way to use our words. And so Ephesians 4.21, uh, 4.29 says, Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fit the occasion that I may give grace to those who hear.

Building Others Up With Grace

SPEAKER_01 45:41

So how do how do we build with our tongues? First, it matters how we say the things we say. Right? That that's really just an important thing. Like we have to know how to approach people with our words. Even if we have the best intentions, it's not always always going to be the case, but if we're just really like blunt and we're trying to do something good, it might just turn someone away. And so, first and foremost, the most important thing that we could do with our tongue, with that in mind, is sharing the gospel. The most edifying thing you can do for a person, the most amazing thing you could tell someone is the reality that they're a sinner and that they need a savior, and that savior is Jesus, and he's accomplished so much. That's what that's the number one thing that we can do with our mouth. Is share that. And share it often. Share it confidently, and share it in love and gentleness. It's not about winning an argument and trying to dunk on your atheist friend. It's not about that. If you want to win them over, you're trying to win them over with love and gentleness. And this is what Peter says. 1 Peter 3:15. But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you, yet, here, yet, do it with gentleness and respect. That needs to be at the forefront. That needs to be the distinctive of how Christians interact with others, with gentleness and respect. Even when we disagree, even when we have, we need to build people up with gentleness and respect. Two, encourage people. And not just, again, I know I'm using this again, but like I really come down, it's like great speech, bro. Like, cool, you know, thanks. But what's really encouraged me, and I'm not, please, don't take this as do you have to come tell me something. Don't, please. Or do like I'll take it, but like at the same time, don't feel obligated. Is like be really specific when you're encouraged, encouraging someone. Like, like text your friend, text, text your, your, your mom, your dad, text your brother, your sister, text, text people in your in your in your life groups, text, text your roommates, be like, man, I've seen the way you've just been like really working really hard. You know, I just I just think that's awesome. You know, I I'm so you motivate me to want to be to be a better worker. Or maybe you say, man, the way you handled that conversation the other day, I know it was a really tough conversation, but man, that was that just encouraged me so much that you were so patient and so kind and so graceful in the way you spoke. Be specific. In a culture where we're all shallow, let's just be real and honest. Let's not wait till people are on their deathbeds or dead to tell them all the nice things about them. If that's the only time you're telling someone saying something nice about someone, you're doing something wrong. Tell them while they're alive. Text them, let them know you have so much access to one another through media that it's just easy to encourage people. Another one, ask more questions. How do you build people up? Ask more questions. Are you the kind of person when you come in a room is like, here I am? Look at me. Or are you the type of person that when someone comes in in the room, it's like, whoa, there you are, man. How are you doing? How's your life? Man, can you tell me more about this? I want to understand. You you start to see, this is based off of Philippians 2, where it says, consider others more significant than yourselves, having the same mindset as Jesus Christ. That when when people, you see people, you put them first and you start asking them questions. And you help them in that way. Another one, speak highly of people when they're not around. Like if if people, if we live in a culture where it's normal to bash people, then let's be advocates for people. Like let like let's talk highly about our friends when they're not around. Let's talk highly about our our boss. Even if they're annoying, even if they're a jerk, we can be, we can feel that way, but we we want to be the kind of people that build people up. Because you know what's not helpful? Saying you're a mean old person. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy if everyone tells them that. But if you're the kind of person that says, Man, I see something in you that's different. I see some, I see someone who is troubled. Maybe they maybe they're having a tough time at home. Maybe I could be praying for them. If you become that kind of person and an advocate, you know where you where you're gonna notice is people won't want to gossip around you. They're like, Why are you so naive? They deserve it. You could be mean to them, and you say, No, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna tear people down with my words. We can be gracious with people when they don't understand something. This is a really big one. There's a lot of new people here in church. When you guys are having discussions or conversations, don't be a bully. Don't be condescending. Rather, back to another one, ask questions. Build them up. Like, I don't know if that's the right thing. But you don't have to be a jerk about it. You could be helpful. You'd be so helpful. You could you could be the difference between someone wanting to walk out the church and wanting to stay in and ask more questions. That's what you can do with your words. And this is the last thing, is it's remember who you are in Christ. Because when you do that, when you realize who you are in Christ, the way you see people is completely different. You see people as souls, as beings made in the image of God, and you're gonna be filled with all of these other things. And so this has an implication in everything. But Jesus was never in a rush. He spoke with the high and with the lowly. Everything he said was covered with grace and salt and was intentional, super intentional. Why? Because he saw people. We get this, I think it's in Mark 4. He says, He saw the people without a shepherd, and he had compassion on them. That's how he saw people. Do we see people that way? Do we use our words to treat people that way? Do we even think of them in that way? I'm gonna end with this parable. This is not in the Bible, by the way. This is an old parable. There's this woman, and she comes to a priest and she confesses that she has sinned in the use of her words. And so the priest says, Your penance is this. Go to the top of a mountain and release a basket of feathers. And so she goes and she does it, and then all of a sudden she comes back, she comes back to the confessional, she comes to the priest, and she says, It's done. And then the priest says to her, Now go and retrieve the feathers you released. And she says, That's impossible. I released them all on top of my life, I can never get them back. And so the priest says, so it is with your words. We can't take back what we said. And so let's make sure the things that we're saying are filled with life, not death. This world is broken enough as it is. But remember, you can't do that on your own. And so I we're gonna pray right now, and maybe it's just a moment for you to ask the question man, is Jesus who he said he

Feathers Parable And Closing Prayer

SPEAKER_01 54:20

is? And if so, then let that change everything else. Let that change everything else.

SPEAKER_00 54:27

Let's pray, Father. Lord, let us be set apart.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

Let us be like you in the way we use our words. Lord, forgive us for all the times we've used our words to break people down. For all the times we've we've grumbled and complained against against you. For all the times we've lied. All the times we've spoken poorly about people behind their back.

SPEAKER_00 55:15

Lord, help us.

SPEAKER_01 55:19

Through your spirit, you say you can you can change the hearts of men. And we're asking that you you do something in us. Let us go out to our schools, our homes, our friends, our family. Let us be so different in the way we talk. That people would just look at us and be like, why why does why does this person speak like that? And that we'd be able to share the hope that we have. And you would convict them and you'd change them and you'd bring them from death to life, that you do a miracle in them. Father, you say in your word that you can do more than we can think or ask. I pray that you do things that we can't even fathom. Through the people in this room. Lord, we trust you. We trust that you hear us, that you see us, and we know that you are here with us today. So we pray this all in your mighty name, Jesus. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 56:47

Y'all can go in peace.