TRIGGER WARNING - Interview with Rape Academy Survivor Amanda Willett Part 3 of 3

TRIGGER WARNING

62 million visit and so few victims know or come forward. Sex trafficking and how hard to be believed when you escape. Why must you fight to be heard? Discussing her journey to become a forensic nurse after not being believed.

Part 3 of 3

TRIGGER WARNING

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

We've been talking for almost an hour and a half. So I I want to get your final thoughts, your final takes before we go.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

I have a lot to talk about, and I need for people to start listening to me.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

I love Do you have a name for your book?

SPEAKER_00 0:21

I I do. I'm gonna hold that tight just for a moment because I'm working through just the publishing aspect of it.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Publishing is hard and the editing and all of that. So when you get it, please let us know. I will publish for you. Not publish, I will politicize, I will like put it out there for you. Um I don't want to cut you off. Anything else you want to say?

SPEAKER_00 0:46

This is um this has changed me to and I think that anybody from the outside looking in in my life, people have wondered where have you gone? What are you what what's going on? They they've known, you know, for the people who are kind of outsiders just looking in. I before this happened, I was life of the party. I was social butterfly and going here, going there, having this time in my life, like full of life. And this has been a fight to come back from the hell that I like I have been to hell and back, and I have a story to tell. And it's changed my world. It rocked my whole world. It's affected me, my children, my family. Um, just for people, the people that I love to see me go through the things that I have gone through. And I promise you that nothing, like nothing that I have gone through that I have survived is in vain. And this has changed the whole direction of my life. Um, and even now, I know I told you I'm a labor and delivery nurse now, but I got to get my two years' bedside experience before I can get my same certification, sexual assault nurse examiner. And this is my pathway into forensics. And I'm not stopping. Like this is just one more stepping stone to where y'all don't want to do things the right way. You don't want to treat victims the way that they need to be treated. Initially, because this story is not over.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

Yeah, yeah. And I will be that person, the first responder, the one who does things right, the one who doesn't miss it, and the one who, through my lived experience, I have a breadth of knowledge in this whole uh game that people who go to school for this, go into training for this, they're not gonna be able to see the things that I see. And my my story is powerful, and I'm just I'm really excited for where this is gonna take me and um the conversations that need it's long overdue that we we have these conversations, but not only that, everything that I'm bringing up, I promise you I'm coming with a solution as well. I'm not just here to complain. I'm not here just to call people out. I have identified gaps in the system, and it seems like every it felt like every crack imaginable that you can come across as you're being funneled through um the justice system. Mind you, it's a it's a system that was never designed to protect me in the first place. Um and then you know, we go to court and what's everything is aired out. I understand the risk that I'm taking by coming forward and sharing my story. I understand the ridicule that I'm coming up against. I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

I don't care. There is nothing to care about. Your life being something, yeah, not a number.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

And this is, I need to I need to make myself clear. I'm not doing this for nothing. This I have set very clear intentions for this book. Um, obviously, I want to raise awareness. I want to share my story, the things that happened to me. I want justice. I do know in my heart that there are other victims. I not even know in my heart that you want to be a stepping stone to others. I need to I need to get a message to others that you want to talk about running into brick walls and what that feels like. Baby, I'm knocking through these things. Like I've you can't stop me at this point. Uh do you know how many times I have gotten up, gotten knocked down, and I keep getting back up. And I know but they say it dust their shoulders off. Man, I'll I'll tell you this. There, why, why me? You know, you go through you go through uh this whole stage in the grief. Like, why me? Why what did I do to deserve this? Why not me? I'm gonna tell you something. I will fight anybody. You come from me, I'm listening you got a problem on your hands. And number two, I have no quitting me till my dying breath. And even, you know, in this scenario, this man murdered. I came back from the dead to expose him and the things that were done to me. You're not about to play up in my face like this. And so moving forward, what am I doing? I'm sharing my story. I need there's there's some women out there who I know that um uh because this is what I'm facing now. And I went through this whole, you know, 1,121 days and counting through a justice system. And this is where I'm at now after an internal affairs investigation and having a very, you know, long, drawn-out, detailed conversation with people in positions of power within San Antonio Police Department and understanding what do I what do I need to do? What is it gonna take for you to go and do something about this and do like an actual investigation? I've had to fight. It took two years for me to fight just to get an investigation, engine laws, changing the the process when when from and I'm talking about from start to finish. And um this is my you know, the the question that we hear constantly, and it it's it's not just with sexual assaults, it's it touches on a lot of different areas where people are treated differently, treated and humanely treated less than, and um, you know, certain things come about, and the the question gets asked, who's policing the police? And I I can speak of my experience. I I I want it to be different. I was raised differently. Like my mom taught me that you leave people in places better than you found them. And my experience, it it's filled, y'all's house is filthy up in there. It's filthy, it's dirty. You got you know, stuff hidden off in the in the corners and the way that things are being done. And I don't care how you gotta spin it or you know, sugarcoat things to to make it sound okay, to fit into your guidelines and to make sure you don't get sued and this and that, it's wrong. The way that you're treating people, you're the way that you're treating survivors, it's wrong. And there is a better way. And that's that's like what I'm everything that I'm doing now is to show that there is a better way for this to be done. And there's no reason that we have to continue doing it the way that we've been doing it for for so long because it's not getting us anywhere. It's not it's not helping to get justice and it's not helping to heal. And they're both, those are two of the most important things that you need when you're coming out of a situation like this. No, this is not, this is not the end of this. This is not where I'm gonna leave this. And I need for this, this is a large part of what I'm doing with sharing my story, reclaiming my power. This is my story. And like I said, and I I stand on this firmly, can't nobody come and tell me anything about the things that I've survived. This is what happened, and I need people to start listening to me. And um, and and that's just my my hope in that sharing my story, people people can understand that I got got, and no matter no matter how you want to spin this, of the naivety involved, or you know, being vulnerable, being broken, whatever, you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

But you can't call it naivety when you trusted the person you love. Oh, absolutely. And that's one of the things with Rape Academy that every single victim of that stated, I can't believe this person that I loved could do that to me. And this is why consistently so many women chose bear. Because with the bear, there were two reasons that were always given for choosing bear. One, if a bear attacks me, people know, and I don't have to defend it. And as someone who's a victim of a rape or a sexual assault, you are put on the offensive and you have to prove it. And two, the other reason why people choose bear is because I can't hide from a bear, I can hear a bear, but and I don't I know that I shouldn't trust the bear. But if I love this person, if I love this man and I trust this man, then what? And then you have things like Stockholm syndrome. Um, I I I was an avid reader of Anne Rule before she retired after she was on the Seattle Police Department, and she encountered Ted Bundy, the I Vive Killer, the Green Mile Killer, just like all these different serial killers from the Patent Northwest. And reading her book, so many of the victims trusted these people. Oh, and it's like when you trust someone, you approach things so much differently. And uh it is it is very interesting.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

That is a key point of you know why I I needed to to go write a book about this because I need I need people to understand all of the intricate details of the story because that was this is what people like this um rely on. It's building trust um so that the the victim will let their guard down. And then it's the abuse that sets in and the brainwashing and all the grooming that takes place. And when you understand that there are people out there and they're called Romeo pimps, they're called boyfriend pimps, where they will come in and they will pretend to be in love with you, they will play on that, on your emotions and all of that. And it it feels so good. You want it to be true, and and I had for no reason not to trust them. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And um, the the other point that I want to really, really touch on is you know, people can talk about me, they can come up with, you know, it's just it's like everybody, everybody knows, like you watch a movie and you're watching and it's the character she's getting um taken advantage of or whatever, and you're you're sitting in the audience and you're watching it, and you're girl, wake up! How could you be so when you are caught in the middle of it, when you're caught up in the middle of it, and and this is this is the other part. I don't care how big and bad you are, I don't care how book smart, how street smart, how thick, you know, how much how put together you think that you are, and how you, you know, how tough you are, how you feel like this could never happen to you when drugs are involved, it's a completely different ballgame.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

But it doesn't even have to have drugs involved because you know, spousal rape is real. Yeah, you know, which is which is what the rape academy was. It was all spousal rape, whether it's drugs or not, whether it is a medical issue or not, whether it is just like you know, those men who convince their girlfriends or their spouses that they love them, they just want to try the threesome, or they just want to try this kink, or they just want, you know, those those things are real.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

And as a person, whether you are a man or a woman, because I don't want to go through this whole conversation without saying that men are also victims of this thing in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. When you are in love with someone, your brain chemistry is altered. That is what drugs do. They alter your brain chemistry. And when you are in love with someone, your brain chemistry is altered, and you do things that is not necessarily the definition of who you are. So you're gonna give yourself to that person in different ways. That's the whole point of knowing love, being in love, expressing love. Yeah, you can be the hardest, meanest, baddest bitch on the planet, but you just fell in love with someone and you want to show them your softer side.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

And then they get that softer side and they tell you, well, if you truly love me, then X. And you're like, but I do truly love you. Fuck, I don't want to do X, but I guess I gotta do X. And you spend that time convincing yourself that X is the only way that you're gonna prove that you love that person. And so I I hate when people say, Well, if it was me, I could point out to you many ways you did things that you say you would never do, but you're doing now, and therefore your if it was me is now invalid. Absolutely. So it's one of those things that I I despise. And you know, with with Stockholm syndrome and with so many, so many different things, you fall into this place where you would not do it otherwise. Drugs are not.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Yep. Yep. And when you trust somebody, and I think that's that's the the biggest takeaway. Drugs are not when you trust the person that you're with, the way that my mind would not even go there, and not it wasn't even a possibility, and the way that you you also have to understand the psychology behind this and the way that your mind is constantly scanning and searching to make sense of what you are explaining. To make it make sense, absolutely to make it make sense, and the things that my mind came up with, and the you know, and then the medical gaslighting on top of that, you know, it's not just it's not just the grooming and and the abuse that happened within the relationship. I'm running to help and I'm saying this is happening to me, and every all of my symptoms are being dismissed. I'm being made to feel crazy. You need a mental health intervention.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

Yep. And and unfortunately, that happens a lot for women. And me being a person of color and a woman, it happens even more. And it's one of the reasons why you know women don't necessarily, you know, let's let's go one step backwards. You're going to your doctor and you're saying, Well, this is not working for me. This is, I think this is wrong. I need help. And even if they believe you, then they go to your significant other. In my case, I am married, and they will go to my spouse and say, Well, what do you want? I don't give a fuck what he wants. This is me and my body, my autonomy. But it's not treated that way here in the United States. It's not, it's not, and it's and it's unfortunate. It's absolutely unfortunate. So, anything you want to add, I I do know that you had, you know, reaching out to some people, you didn't always get the help that you needed, but we do have national hotlines. Whether in like the Polaris Resilience Fund and Global Modern Slavery Directory, was there one that you reached out to that actually gave you the help or some resources that you needed?

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Absolutely. And I will say um the National Sex Trafficking Hotline. Um I have Which is 888-373-7888. Yeah. Um, I do have some things that I would like as a survivor to address, and I will at the appropriate time. They're doing some amazing things, but I believe that there's ways that they need to increase their access to care. Um, but I will I will say that I kind of had hit some speed bumps and some situations that didn't seem quite right, and something told me, call back, call back. And I did, and there was a woman. Uh I hope to one day um I hope to one day meet this woman in person. I love that. And um, her name is Willow. And Willow sat on the phone with me for over three hours and listened to every detail of the things that I was just begging for people. Just can you just listen to me? If you would just listen to me to me, you would understand the things that I'm that I'm, you know, that have happened to me. And to this woman who was so kind, and she told me she shared with me that she's been doing this for over 20 years, and she shared with me why she was doing it. And um I would love, I want to give this woman a hug one day because she just had this profound, it was just like that little that spark that I needed something in that moment, and she gave it to me. But what she did was compile it. They I was told that the National Sex Trafficking Hotline has a team of the you know, the highest professionals, the CRT, I forgot what it's called, but it's a team of people that she escalated my case to, and they then reviewed everything and funneled it back into SAPD. But now it's coming from higher-ups, it's coming from where now my case was handed to a different investigator. They they had to treat it a little different, they couldn't ignore me because of this. I love that. Unfortunately, it you know, things didn't happen the way that they should have happened, in my opinion. Um yet. But but but it's you know, I do, I I won't, because I'm I promise I've I have been very vocal about all of the ways the door slammed in my face and the ways that I've been treated and spoken to. But there have been bright lights on this journey who are doing this because it's it's in them. This is their purpose in life. They love what they do, they they realize the the need for this, and they're they're doing their part, and they need to be, you know, acknowledged and and this just this the this whole situation just needs um it. I feel like it needs some new energy. It needs it needs um more people standing up, but it needs more survivors. And I don't know, I don't know if you found any other survivors besides Giselle um Pelicott, you know, coming out and speaking. Any of the the survivors of the rape academy, especially in the United States, has anybody come out and shared their story?

SPEAKER_01 18:26

I have not heard anybody in the U.S. from the rape academy. I do know there are several people um from the rape academy who have come out and shared their story. Um, and a few of them are online on the CNCN website. Um, but like besides the the national hotline, they also do text. And it is you could do help or info at 233-733, which is be free. And they do help, they do chat as well, so you can email them. Um, but in terms of funding and help, because usually when people come out of sex trafficking, they they don't have money. And so, like I said, there is the Polaris Resilience Fund, um, there is the Global Modern Slavery Directory and the National Human Trafficking Hotline. Um, I do not know that there are a few after the rape institute came out, the rape academy. There have been some private organizations as well that have set up funds. Like I said, I have not heard of anyone in the U.S. that has come out specifically. I have not heard of any prosecutions, which is very unsettling to me, but I also have not heard of any prosecutions of the Epstein file besides Epstein and uh his right-hand woman. Uh and it's frustrating because we have people here in the US in high positions who are allegedly um responsible for rape and sexual assault drug facilitated or not. And I think it's time that as a country we do better. I honestly do. I think that we need to do better, and that is my opinion. Thank you, Amanda, for your time. Um, one of the things I wanted to do at the end of this episode was to provide some resources. There are a lot of resources for people who are victims of human trafficking. If you feel that you are in a human trafficking situation, there is a national hotline. And they can be contacted at 888-373-7888. Or you can text help or info to 233-733, which is be free. You can also chat at chathumantrafficking online.org. If you need resources after surviving human trafficking, please contact the Polaris Resilience Fund or Global Monitoring Monitor Slavery Directory, and also again the new National Human Trafficking Hotline, which is Hotline Referral Service, on their website. I will also be putting these links down in my comments. If you want to assist someone or if you have some information or you are brave enough to share your story, please also add that down in the comments. I am always here to listen and be supportive. Thank you very much for joining me here in May. I know this last topic was very sobering, but it is a topic that we need to talk about being here in Michigan. Are a border state to an international country. And I did some work with the Detroit Office of the FBI back in 2014. And the state of Michigan actually rescues people from human trafficking every single day. And this is both girls, boys, men, and women. So there's some great information out there. And if you want to continue this conversation, please do so. Thank you. Like, subscribe. Bye.