Give yourself grace

We tend to forgive and be gracious to everyone but ourselves. It is time to extend those attributes to the most important figure in our lives - us

Transcript

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Hi, Angelique Clemens. I am the host of the Can I Brow Your Skin podcast. And we are chugging along here in July. Um, and today, one of my favorite and least favorite topics because I'm so bad at it, but give yourself grace. When you are hurting and things are too heavy to carry, know that pain does not mean you are broken and or will remain broken. It is okay. Pause and give yourself grace. Um pain feels, you know, feeling pain means that you are feeling. Um as crappy as it sounds, sometimes, you know, that phrase pinch me and my dreamy. Um, it means something. Sometimes we just have to take the L in that moment, refocus, and move forward. It is okay. Uh, you know, sometimes we all go through our storms, and we've all survived too many storms to be drowned by a drizzle. Like I know that pain and loss and issues compound. And mentally and physically be impuled upon, especially when you have not had a chance to regroup and rebuild, is a difficult thing to go through. And sometimes you feel like I'm done, I'm I'm smothered, I'm smashed, and it can feel like this is the end of me. Just take that moment, take that L, but give yourself some grace. We all feel that way sometimes, you know, and one of the things that when I speak to children, especially high school age children and now middle school age children, because everyone's on their phones, their tablets on the internet, looking at social. We often compare our real lives to the highlight real of someone else. No one is going to post, you know, their first take. They're not gonna post that video where their makeup is smeared halfway across their face and they look like absolute garbage or their runway walk where they fall flat on their ass. Like those are not things that we as people tend to post and talk about. Um we we don't want to talk about the things that we do poorly. I think that there are very few of us, the the anomalies out there that talk about the things that we do not do well. And so we're constantly looking at this perfect thing, this perfect this, this perfect that, and comparing ourselves to that. I'm gonna tell you right now, everyone has their blooper reel, everyone fails. Um, most people will fail before they succeed. And do not be concerned about what people think. Like at the end of the day, if you are constantly concerned about what someone thinks of you or how they're measuring your accomplishments without knowing your scale, your rule, or your timeline, you are letting yourself down because people who literally have no effect on your life, like zero effect on your life, you have zero to say or input about your accomplishments. Seriously, give yourself some grace. We're constantly giving grace to other people. Oh, well, you know, her dog's brother's husband's uncle just died, you know. Oh, this person didn't go to college until they were 42 million years old. You know, so why do you care about what that person did? All you should care about is your timeline. If your timeline says you're gonna accomplish X, Y, Z in 10 years and year on year two, but you just saw Billy down the street do it, and you still have eight years on your timeline. Give yourself some grace, give yourself the grace that you give other people. And one important thing that I I want to talk about, and I I I love the Japanese culture for this. And it's Yorushi, which I probably pronounce that all kinds of wrong, but it is the Japanese art where they will take something that's cracked or breaking and they will mend it with gold. And so you have this fragmented piece of something with gold stripes and uh lines and the the broken thing with the gold in it. Uh, didn't write it down, but I think it's because she or something like that. It's Googleable, just Google it. But it is some of the prettiest things I have ever seen, and it is proof that even when you are broken, one, you can be put back together, and two, the you, the put back together you can be just as beautiful, if not more beautiful, and absolutely brilliant. Sometimes we want to run from the hurt because my engineer just showed me what it's called, and I'll be honest, I still can't pronounce that. Kinshiji. Kensuki? Okay, yeah, that's Kinsuki. So I side note, I have a niece who has studied Japanese for a very long time. Um, she actually studied in Japan, and she is probably watching this, rolling her eyes and going, oh my god, Auntie, that's bad. Which I'm totally fine with because it was very, very bad. Um, but yes, we often want to run from the hurt, but you have to go through the hurt to be healed, and that's how it works. And you know, we are on a healing journey. I I follow some guy who talks about how he is healing, not healed duh. And you know, sometimes the crazy is gonna come out and he's okay with that. He calls it petty. Sometimes, you know, he's petty ready. Sometimes that petty is gonna come out, but just know that it is okay to be in pieces and to pick those pieces back up because there is beauty in the broken, and there beautiful things can come from you working and taking those ills and learning from them and coming up with the new plan and stepping forward in a new way. And you know, I personally, if you could see me as a piece of pottery, uh, there's probably so much gold on top of me, I probably just glisten now because I have fallen and broken and regrouped so many times that I stopped counting and I've given myself the grace to be okay with that. I was not a perfect child or teenager or early adult adult. I'm not perfect now, and I'm fine with that because this imperfect person that I am, one I've given grace, two wonderful things have come from my imperfect self. I feel like, you know, and there are people that's gonna disagree and think I'm still a broken, massive pottery sitting on the ground. That's their opinion. Their opinion doesn't pay my bills, so I don't give a fuck what they have to say. Um, and that's okay. Like give yourself grace. And that kind of steps on something that my parents and grandparents used to say, and they said it often, that if what's happening does not affect my bottom line, I'm not allowing it to affect me. There are two people in my household, and only our opinions matter about our household. And that's it. Like if someone likes or dislikes me or what I did or thinks I can do something better, absolutely give me pointers on how I could do things better. But at the end of the day, you telling me that I should do X, Y, and Z a certain way, and you dislike what I did. Congratulations, everyone has an opinion. I go sit down in your spot because it's not over here with me. So give yourself that grace. Give yourself that grace to fall, but also to get back up, wipe yourself off and don't judge you because you fail. Look at what things stumbled you, tripped you up, study them, learn from them, and then keep walking. You know, there's not a single champion that is never lost. There is no such thing as batten a thousand if you've taken more than three swings at the bat. There is no such thing as a perfect person, and if you are judging yourself and giving yourself so much grief because you expect to be perfect, you are setting yourself up to fail. Give yourself some grace, give yourself some love, learn from your mistakes, move forward with a plan. If you don't have a plan, you're gonna continue to stumble and fall. Other than that, you know, this was a short one. Hopefully, it was a sweet one for you. Thank you so much. Get in those comments, like, subscribe, save, tell your friends about me. Thank you, bye. My niece is gonna be so mad, she's gonna kick my butt.