How To Stop Being The Clingy Friend Before It Backfires: A Reddit Story

In this mini episode, I read a short story from Reddit about someone who knows he is the "clingy" friend. He shares what happened between him and a friend and wants some advice on how to move forward with other people in a better way.

This story will start us off, before going on a deeper dive in future episodes into what exactly clinginess is, where it comes from, and how to handle clinginess in a friendship.

What does this story make you think about your clingy behavior or a friends? Where do you think clinginess comes from? Have friendships gotten too suffocating in today's modern world or are we afraid of closeness in friendships?

Let me know what you think in the comments 👇🏼

See you all next time!

Jacq

Transcript

The Reddit Story Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I realize I'm starting to be the clingy friend. How do I stop myself before it's too late? I'm a 31-year-old male that has struggled in the past with social awkwardness and of lack of friends. I have improved greatly over the last years, but I realize that I still have a long way to go. Currently, my closest friend is a 28-year-old male who is my best friend's brother. We've known each other for a long time already, but only started getting closer in the last year. We hang out at least three times a week, usually him starting contact, mostly at my place, though we've gone out a few times as well. So yesterday I wanted to go out but had no one available. He had visited me on Friday and we were up until pretty late having some beers and chatting. So I mistakenly assumed that he wouldn't be interested in doing anything. However, today he told me he had actually gone out yesterday until 8 a.m. today. I asked him why he didn't tell me about it and he said he had accepted an invitation from another friend of his who in turn had received an invitation from a girl who asked him to bring a friend. I tried my best to control myself, but I couldn't help lashing out at him. I told him that if he's ashamed of hanging out with me, that he should tell me up front. The reason I said that is because he has expressed concern about my weight. So the Reddit writer is about 5'4 and 95 kilograms or 210 pounds. So he goes on. And because he mostly prefers to hang out at my place. However, deep down myself, I realized that I only said that because I didn't like the fact that he went out and had fun with someone else while I stayed in and did nothing. This is something I struggled with a lot in the past. I realized I screwed up and I apologized. He accepted my apology, which is big taking into account that we're talking about a guy with a very short temper and who often won't hesitate to get confrontational, though it hasn't happened with me or at least not directly at me. However, I realize that many friendships probably wouldn't have survived this little stunt of mine. And I would appreciate some advice on how to reign in myself. And the reason why I picked that story is because I think it's a great one to introduce the topic of clinginess and friendships and just learning about what clinginess is in general. Before I start the next couple of episodes about this topic, I wanted to kind of understand how you guys felt about this. Like when you heard this story, what do you hear in this person's story? Like what emotion do you hear strongly in his story? And have you ever experienced this? Usually clinginess is talked about more in romantic relationships, but it really shows up in any relationship. And since this whole podcast is about friendships, I really wanted to delve into clinginess and that type of behavior in our friendships. Because I think we may not always see it as the same type of clinginess that someone would show in a romantic relationship. But as you can see from the Reddit story, it does show up. And I think it's great that this person had some self-awareness. He did get a lot of feedback in the comments, but I'm curious to know what you would say to this person if you were responding back to him. What advice would you give to him? Let me know what you guys think in the comments below wherever you are listening. And I will see you guys next week. Bye.