Tristen Maes on Addiction, Brotherhood, and Showing Up for His Daughters

Tristan Maes is 43, lives in the Treasure Valley, runs his own painting business — and as of April 6, 2026, has been sober from the addiction that has tracked him since he was 12 years old.

This week on Reformed N Reel, host Mario Hernandez sits down with co-host Wayne Burt and his old friend Tristan to talk about the long road from juvenile detention to a fresh sobriety date. They met inside Idaho's prison system around 2006 — both running with people they probably shouldn't have, both trying to "make a name." They've been in and out of each other's lives ever since.

Tristan is candid about all of it: starting weed and drinking at 12, escalating through county jail and a prison stretch from 2006 to 2010, the relapse that came one day after he'd put together a month sober, the felony drug charge that finally got his attention, and the rehab program that started turning things around. And in the middle of it, a story he keeps coming back to — Mario, asking no questions, taking over Tristan's truck payment while he was in treatment so he wouldn't lose it. That kind of loyalty doesn't show up in the gangster movies. It shows up here.

The conversation moves from prison stories to what real recovery looks like — his daughters Patience (18) and Malia, whitewater rafting on the river the Sunday before recording, jiu-jitsu training at 43, reading Psalms in the morning, and the two rules he's trying to live by: time, and consistency.

If you're early in recovery, mid-relapse, or watching someone you love try to find their way out, this one's for you.

"You learn more from a loss than you do a win. So just remember that — if you fall, don't give up." — Tristan Maes

Need a paint quote in the Treasure Valley?   Tristan owns and operates Amazing Painting (interior + exterior, residential + commercial). Reach him at 208-761-8793.

Transcript

0:09

Welcome to Reformed and Real, where we take a journey with our people fresh out of prison and we want to find out how the community around them really feels. My name is Mario Hernandez. I'm one of the afflicted people that got released back into the community, and we're here to try and figure out how this looks. And my name is Wayne Burt, Curious Onlooker, wants to know about our prison system, get to know the stories beyond the stigma of incarceration. And because, like Mario, I believe all stories count. Yes, they do. Mm-hmm. Ain't that right? That's right. That's right. Um, well, we always say that, but and and I think I don't know if it's getting old to people listening, but it's okay. I don't know. We keep proving it, right? Yeah, yeah. It's not an empty slogan. Keep proving it. Yeah, yeah. Well, we have a special guest with us today. Uh his name's Tristan Mays. And uh, even though I just did, I just didn't uh you know I just didn't uh tell everybody who you were. Who are you? Uh my name is Tristan, Tristan Mays. I'm a recovering addict. I mean, 43 years old. Um yeah, man. Uh yeah. Well, welcome. We're glad that you came here. And uh, you know, we try to focus every week, Wayne, on, you know, first of all, people that are getting out of prison. And then the other part of it is how people receive them. Like uh what do people see when they see you get out of prison, uh, when they see you uh, you know, uh trying to live your life and what the things that you go through and how and how people receive you, like um uh pretty much like rental agencies, leasing agencies, uh, you know, employment opportunities, uh, you know, just everybody in general. Yeah, how you're getting along, how you getting by out there, yeah, meeting your challenges, staying away from temptation and all that stuff, you know? Yeah, um day-to-day stuff, I imagine, huh? Yeah, uh absolutely. Um it's it's not easy, you know. Um, obviously. Um I struggle every day. Uh, but yeah, I make it work. All right. So uh Tristan t tell me uh what how did you what what where did you get started in addiction? Tell me a little bit about your about your past. Oh man. Um well um man, I was about, excuse me, I was about 12, 13 years old. Um like a lot of other people, I have older siblings that were in it, and uh they kind of turned me on to it, and I kind of yeah, that's how it started, from weed to drinking, and you know, it's uh old school uh crank. And then yeah, it just went up from there. I just I you know, I was I was the youngest one out of out of the three, and I just I took it to a whole nother level. So yeah. What was your family life like? Mom, dad, what was that like? Um, my mom was always in the picture. Um she wasn't as uh uh godly as she is now. Um, but uh she was she was always around, man. Um my mom is my my lifeline. Um, you know, um my father, he was uh he was there financially. Um but that's about it, man. Um uh yeah, that's excuse me. But uh yeah. Did you grow up here? I did. Yeah, yeah. Well, I was born here, but I I grew up in Sacramento and Hawaii. I went back and forth every year. Um, but yeah, for the most part I grew up here. Gotcha, gotcha. And so the addiction led to um criminal activity? It did. That it did. Um was it gradual or go pretty fast? Uh it went it went pretty quick. Um I was always the type of individual that uh, you know, I always hung out with older people. So I wanted to, you know, be that I wanted to, you know, make a name. So I kind of died. I I yeah, I I dove in head first. So yeah. So um uh when you went to when was the first time you went to jail? Let's talk about that. Oh man. Juven juvenile detention? Yeah. Oh geez. Um God, maybe 12, 13 or something like that. I think uh I think me and my older brother Donnie, we uh robbed our next door neighbor. Um we know we broke in and they had a jacuzzi and we uh drank all their liquor while sitting in the jacuzzi and the cops came. I don't know why we just you know what I mean, we just did it. Yeah. And uh that got you a juvenile hall? Yeah, yeah. And then uh definitely uh gradually I uh yeah, I upscaled uh my criminal activities from there. Okay. So I have known you for a pretty long time. Um maybe what year was that? Man, um prison. It was uh it was in prison, right? Yeah, when I first met you, yeah. Yeah, um 2006, 2007, maybe? Yeah, or four. Was it five? No, we was it? I don't know. Any it well, I mean it was a while ago. We met there first, and uh we were doing uh therapeutic community. Oh where Mario got Mario, I think, got kicked out twice. Three times. Three times, okay. Yeah, I think I was there for two of them. No therapy for you, no therapy for you. Or were you aggravating him? No, no, he was he actually wanted to beat up some other people. So yeah, I remember that. Yeah, were you guys at the yard? Uh at the farm. At the farm, at the farm. Got it. Yeah, yeah. And for everybody, that's uh that's a minimum custody uh facility out there at the main conversation. Yeah, so uh yeah, we met in there and uh you know, we just talked to each other or whatever. We hung out a little bit and uh in the three little times that I was in there. Yeah, um, but you know, we I you ended up getting out. I can't you got out before me. Right, right, right. And uh I ended up getting out and uh I ran into you in the community, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we had uh we had some times, man. Um we were friends, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We had our addiction times, and uh yeah, it was it was all right, man. Yeah, and then we had uh you introduced me to my girlfriend at that time. Oh, Megan. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So we kind of had a little posse, yeah. Yeah, little crowd. Right. And that was the days where you'd get out and then eventually you go back in. For sure. Every time, yeah. And you and the same for you. Finally, oh yeah, we we we we hung out for a minute and we went our way on separate ways, and then you know, yeah. It was uh it was adventurous, I should say. Yeah, yeah. So how'd you react when you get back in and then see each other? You go we never did in. No, no, no, no, no. No, we were always offset on times. Yeah, oh gotcha. Yeah. But uh wait, wait a minute. I don't mean to cut you off, but that was that was my only time in. Uh that's the only time I went to prison. So it was 06? Yeah, 06. Yeah, 06, and then uh excuse me. Yeah. I had a little bit of an anger problem back then. Yeah. Yeah. It's all right. It went away. But you still I don't know if it went away. Did it go away? Yeah. I mean, what I heard before this podcast, yeah, yeah. It's nobody caught on the mic. I I think it's still there slightly. It's all in fun. Yeah, interesting. So how long were you in for? Uh I did a three and a half years, four years or something like that. Gotcha. 2006 to two, 2010. And what was prison life like for you? You know, honestly, it was uh it was it was kind of rough at the you know, out the gate. Um, I had some issues with uh, you know, some other gangs and stuff, and you know, it was uh, you know, it is what it is. Um uh I don't know if I should go you know full into detail, but um, you know, I was there. I presented myself. I I can. You can. Well, I mean, okay, well, you know, there's a certain gang, you know what I mean? And uh, you know, I'm I'm brown, but I I kind of ran in a black gang, you know what I mean? Me and my brothers and you know, the whole nine and whatnot. Um, and uh, you know, from growing up in Sacramento and stuff, we kind of brought it down here. And uh, you know, we were with it, you know what I mean? But uh, I had issues with somebody in Cottonwood, and uh, he was part of a reparable gang in in Calwell. And dude was like six, six ten, man. I'm not gonna say his name, but uh he he you know, he was all talk, man. That's all I gotta say. But uh anyway, I went in there, man, and then uh I was in a certain tier, man, and uh uh, you know, let me back up a little bit. So in county jail, man, I was kind of a torpedo, you know, and I hung out with you know all you know my race and this. Explain what a torpedo is. So a torpedo is uh um is something that um you know OGs or Vetianos, they they have these uh soldiers and they send them out and they uh fight people or or you know snag people, right? So I was kind of that in in dorm six on my way to prison and uh you know I hung out with a lot of you know um blue raggers and uh you know like Sudanios and and and you know uh that kind of you know, because there wasn't too many, wasn't too many brown, you know, uh Mexicans. There wasn't too many Mexicans in black gangs, right? Um In fact, I think I was the only one, man, in in jail at that time. But I just, you know, I got along with everybody, you know what I mean? And uh like I said, I won I wanted to be somebody, so you know, I was with it. And um, you know, I I definitely made a name in county, and then um uh and then uh I served my year in county for a ag battery. Um I got out, I got in trouble for an ag assault, uh, and that's what sent me to prison. Um and then uh I went to Cottonwood first, and then uh that's when I had beef with this guy, and boom, long story short, I went to um uh uh RDU and I guess I was had a hit on me. They were supposed to stab me, this and that. I don't know, man. It's a long ordeal, and then I kind of reversed it on them, and then uh, you know, the next day, you know, um that individual got got and uh you know what I mean, and it was cool since then, you know. Um but when I did go to ICC, man, I hit A tier, and I seen some of the same dudes that you know they were kind of running shit in county that I was a torpedo for, and they were cool, man. And then um I had issues with some other dudes, and there was some kind of ordeal, man, and uh um yeah, and then I left that tier, and then there was you know a whole bunch of shit being said. Yeah, it's a long story, man. But just know that, you know, I was with it. You know, uh everybody wants to talk down on individuals when uh when they want to be heard. That's all I gotta say. Well, prison is that way, you know. Absolutely. It's like you gotta hold up a certain way. If you're gonna be around anybody, that's anybody in prison, you gotta hold up, however it is, however that looks. And then and even if you're new, man, it's like you don't really know what's going on. You know, if you make that mistake, you it stays with you for the rest of your life, you know what I'm saying? No matter if you try to make it up or not, you know what I mean. That's just how it is, you know. Um yeah, so I mean that's just kind of went. I mean, how it went. Um, excuse me. So uh so past all that. Um you have a couple of kids. I do. Tell me, tell me about your daughters. Me. Tell me about your babies. Yeah, that's my life. Those, those, yeah, it's definitely my life. Um, patience. Um, that's my oldest. She's uh 18. We actually just went whitewater rafting uh on Sunday. That was fun. Um my youngest Malia, Malia Mays. Uh man, that's my life right there. Um, it's my baby. Um beautiful daughters. Thanks, man. Yeah, appreciate that. Um, they come here all the time, man. They always get love from Uncle Mario, man. Always hooks him up, man. Good old Uncle Mario. Yeah. Um, you know, he hooks them up, but he don't he don't give me shit. And so but that's what's tough. Um that's tough love. Yeah, that's what he gives you. I dig into it. That's good shit. Well, so so you know, they're they're growing up, right? And um uh let's I I want to talk just a little bit about them and how did I mean how did they react? Because kids don't like their parents going to prison. So tell me how tell me about that a little bit. So the kids were already a certain age when you went into prison. So so my oldest patients, I was in prison and uh she was uh man, excuse me. Uh she was born while I was in prison. Um, and I remember uh the first time I seen her, man, uh she was walking and uh she didn't know who I was and she wouldn't come to me and that kind of broke me down. And uh, but they you know, my my ex uh, you know, she was uh kind enough to bring my daughter, you know, on on I think she brought her every two weeks or something like that. So she gradually started to know who I was and you know it kind of made my time a lot easier. Yeah. Um then my lick my youngest man, I uh, you know, mind you, I was still getting in trouble when I got out. I just, you know, I just wasn't getting caught, man. You know what I mean? Um and uh what's sad is that I I was I was still under the influence of drugs when my youngest was was born, but I was there. Um But you did what you needed to do to get out in the first place. Yeah, yeah I did. Yeah, um you towed the line. Absolutely, yeah. Um, and and I can say that in the same sense of you know what, when I first started doing drugs, I I was on the money money side of it. And uh that was my high. You know, I still got high, obviously, you know what I mean, but the money side was a whole it was it was a beautiful thing. Yeah, and uh you know it it it seems like throughout my life, 30 years of doing this, um uh my whole concept has been my my whole concept has been um uh see how much money I can make. Um and then I've I've been fortunate, this is you know, kind of an oxymoron, you know, uh but I've been kind of fortunate enough to make good money and save it thinking about my future, if that makes sense, right? Put it into what I gotta do when I get sober. Right. Um you always knew you were gonna get sober. Right, I did, but it was just, you know, um my hair's standing up, man. Um uh yeah, I mean it's just um I did, and uh uh like I said it it it happened several times, man. And it was, I mean, it's sad to say, but it was a beautiful thing at the time. I thought I was Scarface, you know what I mean? Um everybody does, that's right. Whether they're selling or not. Absolutely. Um that's the whole make a name for yourself, huh? Yeah, absolutely. And uh, you know, I always thought that I was the best drug dealer, um, you know, um, because I thought I did it right, you know. Um so how did your daughters feel about it? Yeah, man, they were uh you know, I I because mine is mine's still mad at me, even though she forgave me. She's still mad at me for the way I was. Absolutely. Um, you know, there's there's times that the things that I do remind uh my daughters of of me doing drugs, right? Because I I used to seclude myself. I used to give them excuses on why I can't be there. Uh tell them, you know, I would plan something with them and and and not follow up, right? Um But yeah, you know, and and there's some times that I do that and they they think that uh you know, is you know, is daddy high? Is he doing this? Is he doing that? Yeah, you know, and I'm not, you know what I'm saying? Um but it's you know, I can't knock them for for feeling that way, you know what I mean. Sure. Take a lifetime to, you know, get back to that spot. Yeah, or you just gotta work on that trail of forgiveness the rest of your life, probably. Right, it's an ongoing battle, yeah. Yeah. Can I ask you a question about that? Yeah. Are they good behaviors or bad behaviors? Um you know, about half and half. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, yeah. Um because we can't let it, I mean, obviously it's it takes a lot to change a person completely, right? It does. But it does. But you're trying, right? Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Um I'll be honest with you, man. I've been sober since Easter, you know. Um, really? I have. Nice. Yeah, man. Nice. It's a struggle though, man. It's a struggle, you know. Um, you know, I th I think I mean, I think about it all the time, you know, and and it's not the actual high, man. It's it's it's this it's the smoke, right? It's it's everybody has their vices, man, and and you know, that's mine. The whole ritual of it. Right, the process. It's a process, man. Um I don't like really hanging out with those type of people or or feeling that way. Um But it's it's just the process, man. Yeah. So and it's just it's yeah. It's the rush, right? It's it's the the excitement of all of it, whatever it is, whether it's the money, whether it's uh, you know, for guys it's girls, for girls it's guys, you know, um uh and all that stuff that uh I wanna let's just call it TV stuff, right? Like what people see on TV, all the you know, restaurants and you know, women and men, and you know, whatever. Uh it's all it's all uh well, it's a farce. Yeah, it's not real. Yeah. Right. Whatever that word means. I I don't know really know what farce means, but yeah. Um yeah, man, it's it's for me, it's really not post, right? It's it's pre, right? It's it's it's the the pre-game rituals. Um, because as soon as I get high, man, it's it's fuck, it's game over for me. Yeah, just unravels. Right. I don't I don't want to be there anymore. I just I'm like fuck it, man, I'm gone. Yeah. So let's talk about that for a second. Um uh you relapsed what the la your last day in use was Easter, right? Easter, yeah. Okay. So so I guess I guess it would be the day after. Uh Easter was the fourth or fifth, I believe. Um, and then so I guess it would be the day after my first sober day. Okay. Right. And I was talking to you then. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so tell me, Tristan, like what what made you what where were you? What were you doing? What were you thinking? What was uh your struggle that brought you to relapse? Because everybody's got it. And I and and I I'm not I'm not talking about, you know, I just wanted to be around all these girls, I want to do this. What was it? Because uh it's always something, right? So do you do you have that pinpointed? Do you know what it was? What what made you like go get high? Man, um he's an addict, man. I was I was I think I was sober for a month or something. I'd I I forget, man. Um that's another thing drugs do to you, man. And it's very short, you know, a lot of short-term memory. Um, I I yeah. Um, but anyway, uh I don't know, man. I just fuck, I I I think I just thought about it and just got high. Or it may have been, you know, I was into it with one of my kids and frustration. I mean, I because uh I mean it's a that's a lot of things. So I I don't I don't know what you were going through, but I was talking to you and I was like, dude, yeah, where you at, man? Yeah, you know, um, but we all go through it when you know when I relapsed, it was like, you know, like everything wasn't just the way it was supposed to be, like the way I wanted it. I wanted money and I wanted a car, and I wanted, you know, a girl, and I wanted my kids, and I wanted it, but um when I had realized that I had to really work for it, you know, I started getting discouraged. Yeah, you know, things pile up, you get kind of frustrated, you just go screw it. Yeah, and that's kind of that's kind of the way it goes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'll I'll tell you something. So when you went through uh your recovery program, um I went and seen you uh maybe once or twice, twice. Once. Once. Okay, I felt like twice. Yeah, let's let's not exaggerate my review. Yeah, yeah. I I I think uh I had invited you to uh man, what was it Thanksgiving, and uh you kind of you kind of dropped the ball on me, man. I couldn't make it. Well you told me you you were like two weeks in advance, and you told me to kick rocks, man. So you know that's when I had a lot of bad things to say about you in front of everybody. Yeah, right. Um, but yeah. But you know, you were when I when I saw you there, like I was like, I think uh he's ready. You were there on your own accord, you didn't have to be there. Um something happened, right? Yeah, yeah, yes, and yes, something did happen. Um, yes, I I caught a felony uh for drugs. Um uh I mean that then that was yeah, that was uh that was just me being uh at the at I don't even know how to put it, man. Um there was drugs in my car. Okay. Um and uh I didn't know they were there. And they were in a little uh those little dab thingies, you know, those little rubber dab things, and uh I got pulled over. I mean, granted, I I I did have a couple blunts on on the on my front console of my truck, but I wasn't really worried about it, right? So, you know, it was it's not like I was being positive, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm I'm you know, I wasn't. Um, but I I you know I never, you know, my my state of mind is I never ever travel late night with anything on me, right? I never do that. And if I do, I'm ready with uh some uh bleach and some Coca-Cola in front of me and my hand on my thing and getting ready to dump it, right? It's worked every time. Criminal thinking. Right, right, right. How does that work? Well, there's you can't detect anything once you put it in bleach or a coke. And and and and see, that's the type of shit I prided myself on, you know, doing stuff like that. You know, and and I taught a, you know, that's you know, in the game, you wanna you wanna be that guy, right? Like, hey, you know what I'm saying? If you do this, you know what I mean, and several, you know, and it works, right? But anyway, um, so yeah. Not really though, because you got busted. Right, right, but but in the end. Right. So, and and and so they searched my ride and I wasn't even tripping, you know what I mean? Uh give me some tickets or take me to jail, bond out on some misdemeanor, you know, blunts, right? I was fucking, you know, I was I was high. Um, excuse my language. Um, can we cuss on here? Well, I'll add it. Okay. Yeah. Sorry about that. Um, but yeah, um, you know, next uh next thing you know, they're they're pulling a uh thingy out and um uh yeah, telling me that uh, you know, I got drugs in the car. You know, I go off on the cop if you set me up. So I swear, you know what I mean? I did not have nothing. It wasn't mine. This or that, right? But homeboy just got on my truck, you know what I'm saying? It was his, but he didn't know that he dropped it either, right? So, and I'm like, I'm like, I bet. So, you know, what are you gonna do? Right? So I get a lawyer, $7,500 for a lawyer. Um he was he he made up for the shitty, you know, uh um lawyering, if that's a word, that he did at the beginning, at the end, at towards the end he made up, if that makes sense. I don't even know if I said that right. He was a poor lawyer at first, but he made up for it. Yeah, out the gate, man. He wasn't really nothing out the gate. Um, but towards the end, he kind of made up for it because I was I was I totally screwed the pooch on on me, you know, trying to plead my case of staying out. I had like eight dirties. I was just like What was I telling you when you were out? Yeah, man. I said, you can't do this if you're not sober. And and and and what's cool, listen, man, I'm gonna tell you something about Mario, man. Mario, you know, he me and Mario, you know, we we horse play a lot, we talk a lot of shit, man. Um, but you know what? This dude has such a huge heart. This dude takes my truck. He's like, don't trip. He's like, I got you. This dude takes my truck and pays my payment, man. It was like 400 or something, 500 bucks, bro. And I was like, damn. I was like, who the who does that? You know what I'm saying? Like, like Oh, I rotted it around town too. Right, no, no, and and but well, I mean, nevertheless, if if you ran that shit into the ground, excuse me, if you ran my truck into the ground, I mean, I mean, I mean, yeah, man, I mean you still paid the payment. You you you you offered, you know, to help me out. I mean, nobody does that. You know what I'm saying? Nobody does that. I know what it's like when you go to jail or when you got to go to treatment or when you gotta go away and uh either you lose it to the bank or you lose somebody stealing it from you. So um, you know, then you're in a deeper hole. Man, and and and when he did that for me, man, like like that, like that was so positive, man. Because I ain't never had really nobody do that. I was always a dude backing people up. Like I'm still giving, and I'm not trying to gloat because I don't I don't like to do that, man. I like to give praise, I like to see people win. But I mean, that's what I'm doing for people now, is I I I you know I'm giving people money in in jail right now, right? Um, you know, because they show me loyalty and whatnot, you know, and it's only right to show them loyal back if it's not involving negativity. But he did that for me, man. I was man, shh, but that was crazy. Yeah, that was wild, man. And uh, man, and I love, you know, uh uh Me? I well I I do man, you know I love you, man. But but I love I love to bring it up when I was in in the in the rehab, man. Yeah, my boy's taking care of my paying my payments, man. Like, like that's yeah, I'll boast about it, dude. Cause that's I ain't never really had nothing like that, you know. Um you know, and that's that's you know, man, that's that's crazy. What'd that tell you about what Mario wants for you? Man, a lot. A whole lot. Uh man, he just he wants me to get sober. He wants me to uh surround myself with like-minded people, he wants me to get it, man. He wants me to get it, you know. Um just just you know, just enough said, man. He just wants me to, you know, grow up. And that's making more sense all the time. Man, absolutely, you know. He he he does things in his own way, man. And what's wild is uh, you know, every every time we have our little talks, man, after he punches me in the gut or something, man, he'll he'll uh you know, he'll he'll come up to me, he's like, and he'll have that serious. And I'll know when it's serious, we'll know, you know, when we can say something, right? And uh, and it's always us two, right? And uh he'll say something. I was like, I know, man, I know. You know what I'm saying? Like it, you know. I mean, if he don't know, I look up to him, man, then then he's tripping. You know what I'm saying? It's it's it's it's the real deal, man. Um but you know us together a long period of time, man. It's you know, I don't know if it can happen. It's a little heavy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. I'm sure it didn't. It's all love though, man. Well, we had a whole podcast episode before this even started. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's the warm-up act. Man, if if Mario didn't didn't uh uh grill me, man, then I'd I wouldn't know how to accept it. You know what I'm saying? I just I I can't I can't be with people who who don't know how to joke around or you know just flipping me shit, right? So I mean I love it, man. So yeah, it's awesome. So you have uh since Easter, how many what's how many do you how many months is that? It's uh it's a month and a half, it's been since April 4th or something like that, or April 5th was Easter. Okay. So so my sober date is is a da a day after that. So I lied. So I apologize. Okay. So it's like April 6th, like that. Good stuff, man. I mean, when you're like when you're when you're me, it's like it's cool. But when you're your daughters, I mean, yeah, how how how I mean they they gotta look different at you and they gotta feel different about you. But what do you gotta do? What do we have to do, Tristan, to like keep that up to make them feel better about us being in their lives from here on out forever? But I I tell you what, man, I live by by two things, man. Um, you know, time, never waste your time anymore, and uh consistency. Consistency and time is key, man. Um, you know, and I I feel like if I just if I I I feel like if I just um you know follow those two rules, man, I'll be okay. You know what I'm saying? And and I'm a huge provider. I feel like if I provide, um, because that makes me feel good. You know, it's not me boasting, but it makes me feel good. You know what I'm saying? So um my hair is standing up, man. Every time I feel good and it's brilliant, my hair stands up. Um yeah. Good. So they they I mean, obviously, um, whenever I see them, they're like, I mean, we I talk, I I mean I talk smack. I'm like, where's my boy at? Yeah, yeah. Where's my son at? And they're like, you mean my dad? Yeah, oh yeah, they love it, man. They love it. But you know, they're good kids and and they deserve you the way you are, right? Appreciate that. They deserve that. They uh when they can when they wake up in the morning and they don't have to worry about where you're at, that's a better thing. Uh hundred percent, man. Today, you know, my daughter doesn't have to worry about where I go at night. Um, and now your daughters don't have to worry about where you go at night. And uh so let's talk a little bit about your plans. So, what's next for Tristan? Like, what are you gonna do now? Because you've been sober a month and a half, and you got you obviously you own a business. Uh, I do. Um, thank you for bringing that up. It's an amazing painting, uh, S-corp. Um, interior, exterior, man. I do everything that has to do with painting, man. Um, I love it. That's that's my life. I've been doing it 22, 23 years. Um, so yeah, man. Um, so if anybody out there needs to paint job, my number is 208-761-8793. Sweet, sweet. Um, but besides that, man, I I'm I'm a real, you know, I'm into martial arts. I've been doing it for 15 years. Um, I do a lot of jujitsu now, but I am actually in training. I know I'm 43 years old, man, but I want to give it one more shot. I swear I do. So, you know, um I'm a big social media guy. I'm all over social media, as you know, you know. Um uh, but yeah, I'm I'm I'm grinding, man. I mean, I I I think I get like four or five hours of sleep, you know. I love it though. I love it. Yeah, you said you texted me this morning at five o'clock. That I did. That I did. I won't I won't tell him what else. Um I said was don't ever text me. Uh I said, okay, cool, but don't ever text me at five o'clock in the morning. I love it. Yeah. Well, good, man. So uh, you know what? Tell me uh something about you, Tristan. Like today, like how do you feel? Like, tell me about how you feel, like your feelings, like where's your life at? Where's it headed? Like, how do you feel about yourself right now? Um, number one, I I I thought this podcast stuff would be easy, but I am really, really nervous. Um, so I apologize about that from the gate. Um, but it you know, it gets comfortable. Um, but yeah, um what was the question again? I'm sorry. How do you how do you feel about yourself right now? How do you feel? I I I feel I feel like I'm I'm getting there. Yeah, yeah, I do. Do you feel confident? I do. I I I I think I always feel confident. Um but I I feel like there's uh some unresolved internal issues that I I maybe need to talk about or deal with a little more. Um but you know, uh you know, time time will uh you know, time, time will tell, right? So that's one of the things that we talk about a lot. It's like, you know, we go through that no matter what, all of us, like that are in recovery. Um it's never done. It's not like I've heard people say, oh, you know what, I used to be an addict, but I'm not anymore. Well, you know, you wake up every day with the same life that you had yesterday. Uh so you were in addiction, active addiction. Today you're in recovery. And uh as you get better, and as you've been getting better, you know, you're you're you're working, you're being healthy, you're being around your kids. Did you go whitewater rafting with this weekend? I did, I did. Uh Sunday. Uh it was me, my daughter, my older brother, my younger brother, and my uh project manager and his girlfriend, and it was a blast. Yeah. So fun. Stuff you can't do when you're uh crazy behind bars. Crazy, man. It's man, I was happy, man. I even jumped off the raft and went down the rapids uh without the boat, and I I panicked and I thought I was gonna die. So I jumped back on. I'll never do that. And now you feel alive. Man, I'll never do that again. I'll tell you that. Did you hit any rocks? Uh I did. I did, and that's why I panicked. So and you know, they teach you first lesson is lift your feet, and I was that water was so cold, I'll tell you that, man. And uh, because we went early in the morning, and um, but it was it was fun, man. Jumped off of I think it was like a 20-foot rock, and I had so much fun. My daughter was there, man. I was loving on her the whole time. She's loving on her dad, man. It was it was the first time in a long time, yeah. You know, so the beauties of being there. Man, I was happy, man. Yeah. Well, good, man. Cool. Keep it in your head. Yeah, man. So to people out there, Tristan, that are struggling and addiction, that uh what do you have any advice for them? Like just one thing. What what what do you do every day when you wake up in the morning you and you know that you gotta keep going? I I read my Bible, I read Psalms. Um I've I've never really read the Bible, man. Um I I I lied, I did in in when I did my year in county jail in 18. Um, but it's so hard to understand back then, right? Young mind. Um but man, tell you what, man, uh the older you get, you better, you better figure it out, you know, because uh time is not on your side, you know. Um yeah, I love life, man. God is good. Good. And the struggle's real. The struggle is real. Yeah, well, awesome. You know, it's and this is uh Tristan, we appreciate you coming on here today. We have so much to tell people out there, and we want everybody to know that you know what, life ain't pizzas and cream, it's a struggle every day. Uh sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you uh you uh relapse, and sometimes you know, you just whether it's a dry drunk or a real drunk or you know, uh and there's a lot to growing up and growing past that. And you know, we have um people like you and people like me that are, you know, we're all in different parts of life, but we're all heading the same direction. And uh, you know, I appreciate you, as you know. Yeah, I do, and I love you too, man. And I I appreciate you guys inviting me. Um if I can just say one more thing, man. Uh to everybody out there, man, you learn more from a loss than you do a win. So just uh just remember that, man. If you if you fall, don't give up. Awesome. Good stuff. Thanks for being up front about your struggles. Absolutely appreciate it. Thanks, man. Yeah, yeah. All right, everybody. Uh thank you for joining us right here on Reform and Real. My name is Mario Hernandez. I'm Wayne Berg, and we'll see you guys next week. Thank you. Thank you guys.