Leaving Home Without Losing Home

What advice would you expect from someone who has worked in the White House, the U.S. Senate, and state government?

Surprisingly, it isn't about politics. It's about leaving home without losing it.

In this episode of Unexpected Advice: Right Next Door, Esther's neighbor Erica shares the lessons she learned while building a remarkable career that took her across the country before bringing her back to the neighborhood where she grew up. They talk about taking chances, building community wherever you land, staying connected to the people who matter most, and why sometimes the greatest success isn't how far you travel, it's what you bring back with you. 

You can learn more about Unexpected Advice by visiting https://insightfullycurious.com/unexpected-advice-podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Hi, advice seekers. Welcome to the second season of Unexpected Advice. I'm your host, Esther Angel. And in this season, we are going to meet some of my neighbors. I've titled The Season right next door. And my hope is you are encouraged and inspired to meet the people that you live around. We have a very interesting and eclectic world that we live in. Everyone has a story to tell, a place they've been, experiences they're willing to share. So throughout this season, you'll hear from some of the people that I've gotten to know. It was an opportunity for me to get to know my neighbors. So when I started this, I didn't even think about the fact that I would get to know new neighbors that I hadn't ever really had a connection with. And I'm meeting some really cool people. I should do more of this. Yeah. Because I know the neighbors right around me. Sure, sure. And I've talked a couple of them into being into the on the podcast. That's great. I love that. Yeah, yeah. So, Erica, you grew up here. We were just talking about this. You grew up here and just right around the corner. So I know the house. I've met your dad before. He's a sweetheart. He always has candy for the kids at Halloween. Yes, he does. He loves that. Kind bars.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

It's granola bars. I love it. Yeah, yeah. He's always like, put it under your pillow and you'll have your breakfast in the morning.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

So you grew up. That's the house that you grew up in. It is. It is. What was it like growing up in this neighborhood?

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Oh, it was a great neighborhood. I mean, I had a great childhood. I actually lived in the neighborhood just like across across the street. Yeah. Yeah. Um, when we first moved to Lancaster, I grew up I was I was born in Pennsylvania. We moved to Delaware. Okay. And then um from Delaware, we moved here back to Lancaster in Pennsylvania. And so, you know, I was probably like about five, five, six years old when we moved back. Yeah. So, and it was right when neighborhoods were were start like being created. Okay. Um, you know, it was a lot of farm farmland, and like our house was the first like kind of neighborhood, and then there was two cornfields, you know, next to us. So like all of that like Chapel Forge area. Okay. All of that was was cornfields. Yeah. So so yeah. So we we moved here and uh I you know, I grew up here. I went to Centerville. Oh I went to Centerville Elementary, and then I um I ended up going to Lancaster Country Day, and that's that's where I graduated from.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Okay, okay. So you're a Lincoln, you're not even a Lancaster native nation.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

No, I'm not a but you're a little bit of a transplant. It's so funny. But I've been here long enough. I mean, I am not uh I'm not born in Lancaster, but I'm a Pennsylvanian. Pennsylvania. All right, solid, solid.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Yeah, because I'm originally from Oklahoma. So we're very much transplants here.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

My husband was from Oklahoma. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Okay. So boomer sooner. Okay, yeah. So was my brother. My brother went to OU, my family at both. So that whole bed loom is a thing. It's a thing. Um, but we moved here in 2017, and I it was I was telling somebody else that when we moved here, you there's this you know white picket fence kind of concept, you know, in in movies and in TV shows. And I was like, that doesn't really exist. And then we moved here, and I was like, oh my god, we live. Yeah, you do. We live in the white picket. It can be. It can be. And you get to know your neighbors and we just love them so much. We've had such interesting neighbors all around us, and it's um some of it's like actually turning, which is something interesting to see people that are retiring or moving into care homes or passing away, unfortunately. So ha as people are as these neighborhoods are turning over, it's fun to meet people, but it's also a little nerve-wracking.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

It is, it is, it can be because like if you're not from the neighborhood and there people have been here for a long time, but this is a really friendly neighborhood. It is a friendly neighborhood. So I never really, really had those issues.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Yeah. And well, no, you were saying that you have friends that are start because you grew up in the house and you moved away. Yeah, I did. Okay, where did you go after high school?

SPEAKER_01 4:09

So after I went to high school, I went to an all-women's college in Virginia. Okay. And so that kind of like I left Lancaster and and went to Virginia. And then from there, I kind of just started my career. I went back to Washington. I went to Washington, DC. And then um from Washington, D.C., I came to Pennsylvania for another stint and I stayed in the house there for a while. Okay. And then I've gone in and out of like Washington, DC, the Pittsburgh area with my career. And um, then ultimately I came back here as a career move. And then, and yeah, so now I'm here again. You're back here again. Here again.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

And you're not far from Harrisburg. So for a lot of what you do, that's probably convenient as well, being close to the capital. Yeah, excellent. And no, you were saying something about your friends. You have friends that are still in the neighborhood as well.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

I do. So when I when we first moved here, I had one of my dearest best friends to this day. I mean, like, you know, it's like you, it's a lifetime friend. Um, that's the wonderful yeah, and her brothers and sisters as well, and her kids, and so and her husband. And so like we've known each other for 40 plus years, right? And so it's been it's been nice reconnecting with them. And, you know, it's been a sense of like, you know, when I when we left and had her, she had her family and I went and did my thing, and now we've come back together, and I've really had an opportunity to get her kid get to know her kids a lot better. And they're, you know, I'm like kind of the the crazy aunt, you know what I mean? Yeah, you know, it's good. Everybody knows. We all need a crazy aunt. We all need the crazy aunt. So I'm kind of like the crazy aunt. Um, you know, we go, my dad and I go up there for dinner on Sundays sometimes, and this her kids come down and check in on my dad when I'm not able to be there. It's been a really nice full circle moment to like reconnect with like your girlfriends and your childhood friends. And like she was in my wedding, and like we went to graduations together and we swam together. And you know, and just to have this time with her and even with her parents, as you know, her parents have passed. My mom has passed since I came home. And both hard moments for both of us, but we got to do it together.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Yeah. Oh, that's really sweet. Yeah, that is really sweet. Now, your career took you all over the place. It did. Yeah. And you are it's politically influenced, but are do you in the communication segment of this?

SPEAKER_01 6:30

So I'm in I'm mostly in in government, right? So I've been in and out of government and the corporate world. I've worked in both at the state level and at the federal level. I've worked in the legislative branch and the executive branch. Oh wow. So I've worked in the White House, I've also worked in the U.S. Capitol for the U.S. Senate.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I worked with the governor's office here in Pennsylvania, and then I've also worked in um the Pennsylvania Senate. So it's funny, like federal and state, I've done executive branch and legislative branch. I also worked in the corporate world for quite a while as well. So like I kind of with my career made some strategic choices about what I wanted to do. And um, I'm having a full circle moment there as well.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

Well, and that that brings up to kind of some of the advice portion too. So when you think of people like when you leave, and I encourage young people to don't feel like you have to stay in the same spot. Like it's okay to leave, it's okay to explore. And you did that. You didn't venture too far away from home.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

No, no. I think it's important to get out there. Family and community are incredibly important. And like, you know, you never want to lose your tie with your family, right? But family can be anywhere too. Do you know anybody that can come see you? Yeah, and you can create family in the new communities that you go to. You can, and your family can come visit you too. And you it's are you willing to make that sacrifice, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:49

And then investment.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Right, exactly. And so, you know, I think I ultimately I'm an only child, so I ultimately knew I would come back to my family. So um, you know, I grew up, went and did my thing, and came back. And I'm really enjoying these moments with my dad. Yeah, right. But with my career, I think I made some really strategic choices. Like when I went to college, I was like, I kind of think I want to do these things. I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do, but I knew what interested me. I had interesting.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Follow your curiosity. We I got that advice from another podcast, but they said, Don't worry about following your passion, follow your curiosity. What's interesting to you?

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Right. And I think like, you know, I I think that's really important. I knew like subject matters that were like important to me or that made me curious or whatever. And, you know, like I liked hor historical preservation, I liked environment, I liked law, I liked political science. And so like there is I liked philosophy and like there is a world where all of that exists and coincides. And so I just knew that I was going to land in like that space. So I picked degrees that would land me in those spaces. Uh um, and so from there I just kind of like kept building and um and yeah, I ended up touching everything I really actually wanted to do. That's lovely.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Kind of being open. Right. Being open for that next experience, being open for that uh and again what you was interesting to you, and maybe even trying things that we'll see how it gets. Yeah. Because I mean, my dad would always say, like when I was looking at a job and applying for a job, my dad would always like, apply for it, go for it. Because you don't have to say no until they offer you the job. Or why apply for a job? Create one.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Yeah. Right? Yeah. So, you know, I think a lot of times when people go for interviews, they feel that they're interviewing for a company. Like, but you can't forget that you have talent and value and resources that you're bringing to them. So, like, how do you make the job yours?

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Yeah, very interesting. That's great advice. Yeah, that is great advice. What did what brought you now? You said your dad was getting older, you knew that in your parents were bringing uh getting older and coming back around. What advice would you have for people who are kind of in that situation where they've gone and then they see this sit see this with maybe aging parents or aging relatives feeling like they need to be reconnected? How did you go through that process and any advice that you would give on people who are going through that process?

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Sure. So I mean, I knew I think there's always this gut feeling, like you know, like time isn't on your side, and that, you know, there's that sort of ticking moment, and and you're like, I need to get back to my family, like I need to get back to my roots. I need to because like, you know, for a long time my career was a lot. I was on the road a lot, I was traveling a lot, I was in multiple countries, I was in different time zones all the time. And while I always made time for my family, I wasn't spending time with them all of the time. And so like I knew that I wanted to, whatever the next step was, is that I wanted to make sure that I was spending that time with my family. And fortunately, the circumstances presented themselves to allow me to do that. And I think I mean this sincerely, when your gut starts telling you those things, you need to start putting the vibration out there that you need to go somewhere. And like it will present itself to you. Yeah. And it did for me. It was very divine for me.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Excellent. Yeah, that's a little bit when my last career transitioned. Yeah. And it just felt like I was getting a big swift kick in the universe to go off and do this next thing that I've always wanted to do. Sure. Um, so I I definitely vibe with that.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

I think you also like get greater confidence as you get older, right? Like you're there's true. Well, I mean, I've always been kind of a fearless person, but like there's the fearless 16-year-old and the fearless 30-year-old, yeah. Right. And like I feel like the fearless 16-year-old and the fearless 15-year-old are actually the same. It's just that the fearless 50-year-old has more life experience. And you'd be like, oh no, that's not a strategic. That's not a strategic. Like, oh maybe. Yeah, that's not that's not a good one. So I, you know, I, you know, I feel like you kind of start to come into your own a little bit more, and um you make choices like not based on, you know, career or income, or like I have to do this, or this is part of my trajectory. Like you're just like, no, I'm just going to do this now because that's what my gut is telling me. That's what my intuition is telling me.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

And when that's maybe what your your desire, like I think that changes too. Like where you were and what the career that you pursued. May it shifts over time and what you want shifts over time.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

So a point that you made earlier is like go apply for that job. Like your dad gave you that place. It's kind of like that's an experience. It's it's like internships are jobs, right? Right. Like you go and you figure out like what you don't want to do. Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Uh it's just as important to know as what you do like to do is what you don't know.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

It's like to your point, like apply for it. Like you think it's like the dream job, and then you get in there and you're like, oh gosh, this is not even remotely close to what I want to be doing. Yeah. And so then you go find another one. Yeah, right. And you keep on it's it's not the end, it's not the end of the world.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Yes. It's a so in my next season of the podcast, my topic is gonna be no straight lines, and specifically in that concept that we have a lot of young people that feel so much pressure to do the thing, know what it is that you want to do. And I'm like, you don't have to know what you it is. You want what do you want to do now? Sure. You will you can get that what you start now is not where you're gonna end up. Just keep that in mind.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

Not at all. I again I think it goes back to like what I was. I'm glad I selected a liberal arts college to go into a smaller book.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

I am a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Same here, liberal arts college. Nothing wrong with the big schools or anything like that. Man, you get so much, right? Because you can kind of just like take what classes you want, you figure out, and you're like, okay, that's my pathway, right? And you know, I think like that's important. I think there's a lot of pressure on kids today to like when they're applying for call, how much community service have you done? How much of this have you done? It's almost like forced. And it and like I I just don't think it's necessary, right? You know, um, I was having this conversation with my goddaughter about it. Like, she I think athletics is incredibly incredibly important part and having balance. Um, but like when she was young, she was traveling all as is as was I, but like when you get to college and you have like we were having this conversation, she graduated, she went to D1 school, yeah, lacrosse, whatever. And when it came to the end, she was like, now what? And I'm like, Oh wow, yeah. Now you have to figure out how you want to play lacrosse differently. And it's like, because I've been traveling since I was in the sixth grade on this. So like I think that was more devastating than ending like leaving college. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Well, and it's a huge transition. I think it's anything that becomes a big chunk of your life. And I think there's a lot of folks who um we're talking to one of our other neighbors who's talking about retirement, and it's your career is so bad. You have to have something to go to. Sure. I think in each part of our lives, we can't just r leave something. You're not always just running from something, you're running to something. And that mindset is really, really critical for your own personal health. Sure. And satisfaction.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

I mean, I I think I took a lot of very strategic. I made a lot of sh lot of strategic decisions in my career on the way up. And I'm not saying I'm done with my career by any stretch of the imagination, but like I think you in order if you've spent that much time making strategic choices in the upswing, yeah, you may need to make as equally many strategic choices as the exit, right? So like exit isn't owning you, you own the exit.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yes, that's that's so true. That's so true. And there's a lot of people that need to hear that, and a lot of people I think hang on to working or they hang on to something, whatever that might be. Maybe it's a college, maybe it's playing the sport or playing the instrument, whatever it is you hold on too long because you don't have a plan for the exit.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Yeah, and I think it shouldn't be an identity crisis. It should be an identity enhancer. Yes. Like it's it's like you kind of sit back.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Well, I think about it a lot because you know, I you know, I I think about I've had this amazing career. Yeah. And um, I've had every job I've ever had is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Yeah. I mean, to be able to work in a capital like multiple capital buildings, the White House, like be in foreign countries and working with like foreign leaders and things like that. I mean, like those aren't like every day is a historic day for me. Yeah. Right. Like, you know, walking into that building, you're changing something every day for people's lives. Right. And it's something that you take very seriously. And so, like, you do all of that work, and then it's like, I have the all this knowledge in my head. Like, what am I going to do with it now? And I shouldn't be like grasping. You know what I mean? So I need to to figure out how strategically use that as I as I exit. It's not my identity, it's not who I am, but it is a lot of who I am. Well, it's something you have to offer as well.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

So I think those are also pieces, like all those pieces that we've gathered over time, those are little bits of knowledge and wisdom that I think are important to share to the next generation. And we've collected them and I don't want them to go to waste. Sure. You know, it's like little gems that you have, and you do take these to the grave because there's no one else that's had those experiences. Yeah, like the little nuggets of knowledge. Yes. Other nuggets of knowledge. That's what this segment is called nuggets of knowledge. Yeah, exactly. We're gonna start a whole that might just actually be like all the clips that I do off this now. We're gonna be called nuggets of knowledge. Like a little, you know, chipmunk running a bot. Okay, so what other advice would you have? Speaking of nuggets of knowledge, what other advice would you have for people that let's say they find themselves in a neighborhood and unlike me, jumped into a neighborhood, and maybe there is like, oh, there's these people that are already friends, they already have these community, and you're kind of jumping into the middle of it. Any thoughts on because you've moved a lot, you've been around a lot. What did you do to create that community? How did you jump in and create a community around you?

SPEAKER_01 17:59

So, I mean, for me, it's a little different because like when I'm moving places or a migraine, a lot of times, like because I'm like sort of in the government political space, like there is a community that sort of already exists. But like you need an outlet. Yeah. Right. So, like, you know, joining like a basketball club or kickball club. I know I did kickball. Like when like it like when I was in DC, okay, um, Washington, DC, there was like softball leagues and kickball. I did kickball. Okay. There's also the young professional clubs. I'm not young professional anymore. Nobody needs to know that. Right. I'm okay with it. I'm okay with not being a young professional. I'm very comfortable like where I am. But I mean, I think there's you know, things that you can do like that that are helpful. And they're also like how they're career builders, but they're also outlets as well.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

Yes, yes. I know when we moved here, uh husband's cousin's wife, shout out to Lisa. She said, and she was a military wife, so she moved around a lot. And she's, you know, just invite people over. Like she's like, No, what you're doing here is a perfect example. Just invite people over. Have the conversation. Nobody cares that you have boxes in your living room. And if they do care, then you probably don't want to be friends with them anyway. Right, exactly. Exactly, exactly. Put yourself out there. And that's another another friend of mine who I had on my podcast for the first season. She said her whole thing was about putting yourself out there. You've got to put yourself out there to meet people and to be in the place that you find yourself that you are.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

Yeah, I think that's great. Um yeah, and I like I said, for me, it's a little different moving back here because it's a full circle movement because I had already established. So it's like almost like renewing and refreshing the relationships. And like getting to know each other again, like how we've grown. How was that?

SPEAKER_00 19:38

How was that experience? Getting to know somebody, like you've been so far apart and you kind of kept in touch. What was that like getting back together?

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Well, it's funny because when you when you first get back together, you're kind of like, so much has changed. And then like two hours into it, you're like, nothing's changed. You know what I mean? I love it, yeah. And it was it was really fun for us because, like, you know, for my friend and I, because her kids had never seen us interact before. Like, because they were so young when they were little, but they didn't know me. And so all their lives they heard about my best friend Erica. And you know, you know, and I mean they knew of me and they knew my parents because they would see my parents in the neighborhood, and and my friend would always come and bring the kids, but I wasn't there. So they would always hear these stories. We had the best childhood, like growing up in the neighborhood between here and the neighborhood across the street. I mean, we played hide and go seek, capture the entire neighborhood would play. And and so our families were friends, and what so we were all very close. We knew everything about each other. And I don't know that her kids understood how well we knew each other. Our families were so intertwined. Right. Her brother and sister, like her brother mowed our lawn, her older sister, like helped my mom like wrap gris at Christmas. Like it, you know, my my friend and I just and so we were all like even in the challenging times, like when you go through things like in life, we were all together. And so, like, it was interesting, like that when we got back together and it was like you know, our parents were getting older. It's like they got to see a side of us that um I don't think they realized how close we were. Right, but right, it's been a beautiful moment for all of us, you know. That's really cool. It's fun, like it's funny. Like I I lived in Pittsburgh and my friend's son went to college out in Pittsburgh, and he called me one night and said, Hey, I need help with something. And I was like, that's cool.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Yeah, and that's how close we've become. Yes, that's fantastic. Yeah, that's fantastic. Well, and I remember so my uh college roommate, she it it was funny when I moved here, she called me a couple of months later. She's like, You're never gonna believe this. My company is transferring me to Philadelphia. I know. So she was actually they she ended up transferring back uh to Oklahoma a few years later, but she actually was living there. So our kids kind of got to know each other. And like, I want I needed to go because we don't have family here because we're from here. So we I want to take my husband out for his 50th and go somewhere for an anniversary. And so they watched the kids, they stayed overnight, we went and did our thing. It was really cool. That's really cool. So yeah, her uh son's gonna be getting married this summer, so I'm gonna try to be down there for it. But it was really great to get to connect and rebuild a lot of that relationship. That's awesome. Yeah, that's fantastic. Yeah, thanks. Well, I really appreciate you coming on.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

No, thank you. I'm so glad we met. I'm like, now we okay, so now I have a new drinking buddy. Yeah, okay. I was like, wow, I met new friends, so like, you know, again. So it's great, it's really nice to meet you. All right, thanks, Erica. Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having me.