It's Never Too Late to Collect Friends; Advice from a Retail Matchmaker

How do you make new friends as an adult?

For many of us, building friendships seems to get harder with age. We settle into routines, lean on the people we've always known, and assume our community is already set. But what if your next great friendship is still waiting to be discovered?

In this episode of Unexpected Advice, Esther sits down with her neighbor, Odette, whose simple philosophy is one we could all use more of: it's never too late to collect friends.

From moving across the country and starting over to helping customers find exactly what they need in retail, Odette shares how curiosity, asking thoughtful questions, and simply putting yourself out there can create meaningful relationships in the most unexpected places.

Whether you're new to a community, looking to expand your circle, or just wondering how to connect more intentionally with the people around you, this conversation is a reminder that some of life's greatest opportunities begin with a simple conversation.

In this episode, you'll discover:

•  Why it's never too late to build new friendships. 
•  How asking better questions helps people feel seen and understood. 
•  What moving to a new place teaches you about creating community. 
•  Why putting yourself out there is worth the risk. 
•  How authenticity builds trust—in business and in life.

You can learn more about Unexpected Advice by visiting https://insightfullycurious.com/unexpected-advice-podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Thanks for being agreeing to chat with me today, okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

You got me.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

I told Judy no, not 30 seconds before the text, the text message that I was like. So uh to give you a little background, uh doing I started this podcast last year and I think I told you about it. And what I wanted to do this year was talk, and the season is to talk to people that are in my neighborhood. So it's cold right next door and talk to people in my neighborhood. And so I've got a lot of people that I'm getting to meet for the first time that are in our neighborhood. But it's fun. Yeah, it is fun. It's like Colleen Weeks. I mean, I kind of knew her, but I didn't really know her. Um, and then I met some other folks that I just didn't know. But we know each other. We've gone on vacation together. You're trying to track me into going to that country on a vacation together. So we didn't know each other before this, and I think it'd be really cool to tell people kind of how that happened. But then I've also learned a lot from you, Odette. And so I think it would be I know, right? How to make margarita. It's like one of the most important things right there was how to make the world's miss margarita. No, but I think it would be cool to just talk and and kind of what we've learned about being neighbors and and we both moved so we because we both moved to Pennsylvania right around Well, kind of the same time. You moved a little bit after, but you bought the house.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Well, I mean, we I knew I was moving. Billy was here in the neighborhood.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Yeah. So for our audience, we moved here into Pennsylvania in 2017, and you bought the house like a month before we bought ours. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Billy looked at this house. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

So yes, and then um and the it's you guys are two horse, two houses down. And um, I think it's funny because some we we hadn't gotten to know you guys yet, and somebody goes, You should talk to the neighbors because we're telling somebody that we moved from Texas and from Houston. They're like, Oh, I think your neighbors moved from Texas too. And then we like got to know I don't remember how I we met. Do we meet Billy Birds? Did we meet? I think I think we might have met you when you came by.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

We were here with yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

I don't know, because that first year was kind of weird.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

The first year we only came at Christmas and it was 12 degrees and we it was cold. We had no furniture, so we went to New York to so we could stay in a hotel. Yes, and do fun things, do fun things at the time. But it was 10 degrees in New York.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

It was we didn't know that we didn't go home thinking I want to move there. No. This is something that we've had to get used to coming from Houston because yes, winter in Houston is like the best time of year to be in Houston. Summer is not.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

Yes. I like summer in Houston.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Well, you also you're probably like, I'm gonna be dressed cool. And I'm like, oh, it's already 64 degrees outside. And you're like, dear lord, it's 64 degrees.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

I think the first summer here, there was a day in August, early August, where it was 52 degrees in the morning. And I posted something on Facebook, and everybody that I knew said, Are you complaining?

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Of course I'm complaining. Of course I'm complaining. Yeah, because in the summer we'll get the fire pit going and it's still like 70 degrees. It's not fire pit weather yet. It's just like it's too cold. It's not warm enough. Oh, Dick comes tromping into the yard with like a code and a park. It's not that bad. But um, so we kind of had to know each other and we started talking, but I remember when you guys moved, we finally got to like just start chatting, and you're like, oh, you moved from Houston. And then we were like, oh yeah, we moved from Houston.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Oh, not far.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Not far. Well, not far, and you were really close to where my sister lived. You were like three miles from where my sister lived. Don't know, didn't know her though. No, didn't know her. Well, she didn't have kids in going to school because you were teaching in uh in Cyprus. In Cyprus, yeah, in Houston for a while. And then um you moved here and you you have four kids, yes, and you moved here with the youngest and to. Yes, and they they like to follow you, don't they? She was still in high school. She was still in high school, but I mean the rest of them eventually, except for Ricky, but the rest of them. Oh, Ricky's gonna move to Aberdeen in the world. Yes. Yes. So that's exciting. So you're gonna have the whole you're gonna have the whole gaggle here within driving distance. Yes. So that's fun. At least temporarily. Yeah, yeah. That's fun. So I think it's a really I thought it was so funny. It's unexpected, because especially here we found well, a couple things that we found in moving into Lincoln. And one is that it isn't a closed off community, but you've got to make the initiative. Like it's not like the South.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

No, no, yeah. And here Houston, things are far away, they're in another country or Chicago or something. And here when things are far away, it's in Mount Choi. It's a very different big difference.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

When people will be like, Oh, I don't go into town, and I'm like, six miles that way. Which town? Yeah, six, it's like literally six miles that way, but you're not going to town. Yeah. Or you want what did somebody say, I was a friend with me here. Like, somebody was said you go into town, are you trying to get shot? It's Lancaster. This is not New York City or like Bogota or something. No. Yeah. Yeah. So but it was an i think we also found like in the south, people would do a lot of the outreach to you. Like there's a lot more just kind of uh open friendliness. And here we really had to make right the effort.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Here it's a lot more family, and so everybody's time is is filled with family because they never moved away.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Yes, they all lived in the same. They still live here. Like the front here.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

They could be two towns over and that's very far away.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Yeah, when somebody says, I've had literally somebody go up like, oh, you're from Lincoln. Oh, no, no, no, I'm from Ephraida. And I'm like, it's in the county. Like it's still in Lincoln's 20 minutes. But it's true. Like some people's just their perspective of different of distance is different.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

So be it. And then you're a good cook, that helped too.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Yes, we like to cook and you like to, we both like to eat delicious food, yeah, which we came that we have definitely always find in Lancaster if you go to all the recommended places for bar food. I I I love all of you in Lancaster. We do not have good Tech Mex. No, we do not have good tests. It's it's not, it's just not. I love you all. Good Mexican food. I can find good Mexican food, but Tex-Mex, no.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Yeah, and we have we have good nice restaurants. We just don't have we we just don't have your every Friday night go to the same place.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

No, not now. Well, but I miss it. I miss, I do miss that from Houston, the the real like the local Mexican place, like the local Tex-Mex place that you go and you get there. There was also it's the warm salsa in Houston. Do you ever miss that? Yeah, all the time. Oh my god, I make it. That's what I have. I that's what I'm telling people. The best Tex-Mex in Lancaster County's at my house. Probably. But this is how yeah, you bought a blender when you moved here. Yeah, I did. You bought a blender something to do with it.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

Because I couldn't find a margarita, not one that didn't cost $25.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Well, and that's the other thing. This is what we should have had tonight. I should have made you bring your blender.

unknown 6:53

Margaret.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Because I got I had to get those big, goofy, ridiculous glasses that are margarita. Did you have some of those blenders?

SPEAKER_01 6:59

I bought the little ones. I got more reasonable. I didn't skimp on them. You like make a whole blender full, and I'm like, that's two, so you better make another bath. But it's a bit fun living here. It's what have you enjoyed about living in Lancashire that you didn't expect?

SPEAKER_02 7:15

Hmm. That's a good question. I guess I like that the scenery is different. Yeah. You know, um, that we have the river to the west. That's nice to go down there. And I like the proximity to Philadelphia and New York on the train.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Yes, it's really nice to have on the train. I like the four seasons. No, I don't know July. As we've established by the uh yes, winter, winter is cold. Yeah, this was a cold, this was a cold winter. Sometimes the winters aren't as cold, but this was a chilly winter.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

But I like the four seasons. It's taken it is taken time. But you're from the north.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

That's what you grew up.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

You grew up in New England. I did. And and I left.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

I left. I went somewhere warmer.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Uh how have your kids handled it? Like, do they like the seasons and and so far? Yeah, I think I think. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

I think. I don't really ask them. I don't really know.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Oh. Well, I I know Blythe is definitely wanting to be on a beach somewhere now. But Arwen, when we first moved here, he was little and it came got winter.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

That's not an age where you sit and talk about the weather either, though.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

But I it is my son. And he goes, Mom, when are we moving back to Texas? It's summer all year long. And I was like, baby, I'm sorry to tell you. No, I think he's okay with it.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

I think everything in Houston, anyway, everything was a longer drive. It is a longer drive. You know, yeah. So I mean, driving to Philly is hardly different than driving from from Houston to Galveston. I mean, in most considered locals, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Yeah. Or even across town. I mean, you want to go up for I was working in Cady and living in um Kingwood or working in Humble before I moved to Kingwood. So we I was it was an hour, at least an hour each way. And when I moved, I was within 20 25 minutes of work, and people are like, Oh, you moved to the house. So a lot more time in the day. It's a lot more time in the day. Well, here, if you have to drive 20 minutes to work, people are like, Whoa, are you gonna stay there? It's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Like Francesca lives 13 miles and she hardly drives here because it's too far. It's too far.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

She's gotten spoilt. She's gotten spoilt. Yep. We do find ourselves in that a little bit. You're really good about that. You're really good about that. Like, nope, you you like go to Long's Park, you're like are at uh uh Longwood Gardens, and yeah, you're like, no, I'm in New York City. Let's see y'all. I'll see y'all next weekend. Yep.

unknown 9:34

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

So um did you move a lot? Did you move a lot before you moved here? I mean, you lived in New England, you lived in Houston, you lived here, but did you move a lot?

SPEAKER_02 9:45

After college, I lived in in Massachusetts, but then I moved to Texas. And then what happened in Texas? Well, this is hard. Um Billy and I bought our first house in Texas in north of Dallas. So we we had a little starter home in Bill, and we bought all our neighbors went um from that little neighborhood to like a neighborhood a mile away for because we all needed a bigger house after a couple years of having kids. And then we didn't stay in that house long because we moved to Houston and then we stayed there 25 years.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

But I didn't move as a child.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Which by the way, did I I don't know if I knew Damien's sister still lives in Louisville. That's I know that is very serendipitous to me. Every time, well, because Billy, your husband, grew up in Oklahoma and in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of nowhere, which is right next to the next one. Next to your middle next to your middle of nowhere. It's so it is really funny when we meet people. I mean, especially when you meet people from Oklahoma too, because I met somebody else from Oklahoma and we'll chat every once in a while.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

And it's like, we don't get out much.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

People be like, I've never met someone from Oklahoma. I'm like, well, we don't usually leave. Usually hang around, kind of like Lincoln. So when you move, what do you find the the like when I moved here, building relationship out? I wanted to build a community, and um, so that was one of the reasons I mean we reached out, but I got this advice to like just invite people over.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Yeah, and you did. There were all these invitations on the door, all that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Still still sometimes leave little uh origami shrimps on people's doors to invite them over. What are what are some things that you kind of had to figure out like when moving to a new place? Because you've really been a lot of relationships.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

I had to get out there and do stuff. So when I was subbing at the school, I didn't sort of meet my people there, but Joanna was on the tennis team, so I volunteered. I met people there, still not really my people, although the coach is still my friend, you know. Um, and then with COVID and my mom started working part-time. I've met a lot of people working part-time. It's crazy that they're that you meet everybody in the world working retail. You do and I and I worked hard to meet those people and I collect phone numbers and I say it's never too late to collect friends.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Yes, that is so great. It is never too late to collect friends. That's a great advice. That is really good. I like that. I mean, still that seems never too late to collect friends. Yeah, I cool, and I think you're really good about that. You're really good about building that connection and about helping connect other people as well.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

Well, I moved with only one child, so you know, I didn't have everybody we left in Houston was somebody that I knew because my kids grew up with their kids and they're had school things together and athletics together and and activities together, and then we just have Joanna.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

So And she was older.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

I mean like junior in high school.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

Yeah, junior, yeah. Ah, that so she was only here a couple of years, so you kind of had to re like build that life and those friendships and that community.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

Then nobody should judge an adult by their fourth child.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

I just judged it because you had four children. Oh, I'm just kidding. No, I'm just kidding. Um, no, Joanna's fun. We like Joanna. I like Joanna. I like Joanna too. Yes. I hope so. She puts things out there. She is the youngest, she's the youngest, which is always a fun, always well. They they get a bad rap though sometimes. My youngest sister gets a bad rap sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

She earned some of it. She did. She's gonna put that out there.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

She does. I think the youngest definitely earn. They definitely earn some of it. Um, yeah, so you when you moved here, you did have to create that community, but I think you had some good advice, like um volunteering. You volunteered to help with the school, to be involved with the things that she was involved in. Um, but then you also like uh found I think the job, like working retail, the job that you found, you've specifically looked for something that could help you build those connections.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

I just walked in as a customer and they said they were short-handed. And I said, I can do this.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Okay, it worked out.

unknown 13:46

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

You can still snow to an Eskimo. Can I just say I go to see Odette whenever I need to buy shoes because uh Odette'll be like, Well, if you considered these, I'm like, nah, I don't need those, and then I'm like, I need these, and they're my favorite shoes that I own now. So that would I this is something I wanted to actually in this conversation talk to you about because what there's you really have a way with working with people. Um, and there's a few things you've told me, and I think it's uh kind of come natural to you, but I don't know that everybody takes it for granted, especially in retail, of how to treat people and how to help guide them through a decision making. Because a lot of people come into retail situations and they maybe don't know what they want, or they think they know what they want. So, what are some of the things that you do at the store to help kind of guide people through those decisions?

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Well, I ask a lot of questions. I see what they're attracted to, but I find out if if it if it's real, their attraction to the things they pick up, you know, like you know, but then it's more about meeting needs.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

One of the questions that you I remember you saying that you asked people is what are you gonna use this for? Like what are you looking for? And that would always struck me because I think um sometimes we ask questions, we're trying to get we we're only dealing with the what we're presented in the moment. And that question really makes you look at the end goal of what you're trying to accomplish. And that's something and even in business uh and from working in strategy, I work with a lot of organizations. Like they'll say something like, I need to report that I need a report, I need to know this thing. I'm like, Well, why do you need to know that thing? Because if you know why you need to know it, then maybe there's another way to show you that information.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

I also find a lot of our customers are just older and um they look at the prices of the things that we sell and it's not so much what they want, but it should be useful. It shouldn't be they come in because they want it for a specific thing, but it should be something they can they can reuse over and over and over and then enjoy and not just feel like they've spent a whole bunch of money for something that it's a one-time thing. Yes. And I once once they realize the value, then then they're they need a lot of things with value. It just works out that way.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

Well, I think you make you make people who good like you've listened to them, they feel heard and they feel understood that you get what I'm trying to, you know, you get I get what you're trying to accomplish, I get what you want. And there's been many times I know you've even taught me and like don't get the thing. Like you're just not gonna worry about it.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

I try not to upsell and I try to just sell things I like that I know will work. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

And it was always authenticity. Because you're very genuine and authentic and um telling people like what you think will work for them too. You know? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

When I first started working there, we had a staff meeting and they were trying to make us all salespeople. And so the owner of the company is like, How many years has everybody been in sales? And my answer was I've been in sales my whole life. My whole life. You're trying to promote yourself, you're trying to be I taught middle school math, that's for sure a sales job. You know, right. No, you really do like math. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so it everybody should say their whole life. But then if you haven't, then you're not you're not putting yourself out there. Yeah. Getting the best back.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Yeah. Yeah, you do have to put yourself out there. I think that's even like in meeting like in in building friendships and relationships or yeah, you know, putting for your job, yeah, you have to put yourself out there. Yeah. Be willing to win, willing to lose. Well, yeah. Well, I appreciate you coming on and chatting with me. Scary stuff. It's not scary. It's not scary. We have a good conversation, Zodette. Yeah. We have a good conversation. We just don't want them all recorded for posterity. There we go. Oh, well, thanks for coming on. Any other advice, any other seminal advice that you would leave people with? You got some good ones in there.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Put yourself out there. Yeah. Lots of people. Yeah. Best friend could still be out there somewhere. Hey, there we go.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Awesome. Well, thanks for thanks for hanging out, Adette. Yeah, thanks.