Im Back!

It's been a minute but I'm back! I hope you missed me.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

What up, y'all? Uh I'm back. Another episode of 12 Minutes of Nonsense. I'm back up in these streets. It's been it's been way long since I've done one of these. I think it's been like two months. And I apologize that. First, a nigga got sad is what it was. Then a motherfucker got busy is what it was. I moved in with my girl. That is not why I was sad. I want to make that very clear. Um, it's actually been it's actually been pretty cool living with my girl and and her daughter, my daughter, or whatever. Um the only the only thing is is like living with because I've because I, you know, I grew up um uh with my mom and my sister. So I've lived with women before. Uh but I forgot, you know, a lot of the things of how it was. Um and and I'm just you know been remembering. Uh I got yelled at for breathing recently. Um that it's been a while since I got yelled at for breathing. But I, you know, it wasn't it was a shock because you know, you always get shocked when you get yelled at for breathing. But that that's just what happens uh sometimes with women. And you know, and you you know, you know that. Um, you know, with dudes you get yelled at for being a bitch ass nigga, and with women you get yelled at for breathing. But it is it's different yells, but it's the same yell. You feel me? So um, so yeah, that's what's been going on my life. What else has been going on since I ain't talked to y'all? I got hit by a car, tore my rotator cuff, and I busted my elbow all up, and uh, and then I got that shit fixed, kinda. It's still raggedy, but it's kind of fixed. Uh, my mom's got hit by a car. His was fucked up. Me and my mom's both got hit by a car. Like we both got in in accidents, and neither one of us told the other one. Ain't that some fuck shit? Ain't that some raggedy ass shit? I didn't tell her because I didn't want her to worry and I wasn't that hurt. And then my cousin, she was with my cousin, and my cousin let her know in the car while I was talking to my cousin. I didn't know they was on speakerphone, and my cousin thought that I had told my mom. My mom was like, What you mean, Nathan got hit by a car? And my cousin was like, Ooh, ooh, shit. And I was like, Oh, I'm gonna get hit the next time I see her. Um, but then like three weeks ago, she got hit by a car on Thursday. I call her on Saturday, she like, yeah, I'm good. Did you listen to the message? And I was like, nah, what happened? She was like, I got hit by a car. And I'm like, the fuck? It is Saturday, bitch. Like, I didn't say bitch because I feel like that would that would end badly for me. But still, it was Saturday. She got hit on Thursday night. She didn't even call me till Saturday. I was I was not happy about that. My mom's getting old, so I don't know if it's time to have that conversation of moms. Like, she's I think she's like 72, maybe 73, but she in her 70s, and it's I don't know if it's time to have that conversation. Like, mom, either get a Tesla or stop driving. But like, how how the fuck I'm gonna say that? I'm blind as shit out here here in these streets driving and shit. So, like, who who gonna be driving? You know what I mean? Like, if if if I say, Mom, you should stop driving, she's just gonna be like, Well, your fuck ass need to stop driving it. You know what I mean? Like, what the f what I'm really gonna do is what I'm saying. Um, so shit, man. That's that's what that's other things that've been going on. She's okay. She fucked her leg up, no broken bones. Neither one of us got no broken bones. I got hurt more than she got hurt, and and and which is pissing me off because she old, she's supposed to get hurt, but now I'm glad she's not hurt. I'm still pissed at her a little bit. Um, what else is going on since I didn't talk to y'all? Because it has been, it's been like two months of of the nonsensical nonsenses. Um what else? Easter happened. I got my girl and and my daughter Easter baskets for the first time. I felt like an adult, you know, getting them Easter basket baskets and shit. That was fun. Candy's expensive in a motherfucker. You know, you don't realize how expensive candy is when you a kid, because you never buy that shit in bulk. When you get an adult, candy, goddamn. That's what that's why motherfuckers only wanted you to take one piece as a kid on trick-or-treat. Um, but I'm gonna be honest with you. If I was still a kid, if I could go up out there, I would I regret nothing. I regret nothing. Okay? Not a damn thing. All the stomach aches and the puke sessions and the too much chocolate cries, it was all worth it. Okay? Every last bit of it. All right? And I never found a razor blade in my shit. I feel like that was a ploy for adults to eat our candy, okay? I never once found a razor blade in my shit, okay? Now and here's the fucked up thing. They never they always said you're gonna rot your teeth. They never said that you were gonna have squeaky dukes. They never said that you were gonna have duke leakage in your asshole, okay? That that would have stopped me. Hey, you eat too much of that candy and you're gonna poop weird for three weeks, okay? No one ever said that to me when they were just like, oh, you're gonna get cavities. You're gonna get cavities. Shit. I know this is this is making a lot of sense right now, and I apologize for that. It's been a minute since I did the podcast, you know? So what random ass shit, because it's all nonsense. It's all it's all nonsense. Um, what's what's some nonsense to talk about? Hey, I feel like you rich, like when like like rich people don't never have to worry about a broken window. Like, that's what I feel, like if you are at a point where you can always get the window fixed, you know what I mean? Like if you were at a point where no matter what window it is, whether it's a a a front window, a house window, a car window, you don't ever trip about getting it fixed, then I feel like you are rich. Like you are a wealthy person. Um, because that's one thing that I never seen like a rich person like worry about, like a broken window. Like they're like, like, damn, it broke, but I can get it fixed. But for the rest of us, a broken window, like I can't get that shit fixed right now. I might be able to get it fixed, but not right now. You know what I mean? And and it depends on the window. You know how much back windows cost for the car? Them fucking windshields, shit. Try when your side mirror windows and shit, them shit's expensive in the motherfucker. If somebody broke my my like my bedroom window right now, man, I can't get that shit fixed by tomorrow. I ain't got skrilla like that. Shit's like six, seven hundred dollars and shit. That's crazy work. And so that's how I know I ain't I ain't made it yet. You know what I'm saying? Like that's how I know I ain't made it. Not yet. I'ma make it, but not yet. Also, uh Izzy had her birthday and we took her to her first concert. It was uh it was dope as fuck. It was this Japanese chick who do like like dope ass. You remember, like, I don't know if y'all remember that like the like like Enya type music, but like a Japanese feel to it. You know what I'm saying? Like, not like comp like she does music that sounds dope, that would sound like an anime intro. You know what I'm saying? And like she had some lights on and stuff like that with the stuff. It was it was it was really actually dope concert. I cannot remember her damn name, but it was a really dope concert, and um it was it was the it was the quietest concert I've ever been to in my entire life. Like normally I'm used to going to a concert where like it's everybody's loud and it's energy in that bitch, and it was energy, but like I guarantee you there was three or four people who fell asleep in the concert because it was just that type of music, like it was meditation music, but it was dope, and it was playing it live and shit. It was cool. I hope she enjoyed it. I think she enjoyed it. Um, yeah, we took the train down there and that was fun, and uh, and then we saved in San Diego. We didn't have to we were only there for like a day and a half, so we didn't have time to go to the zoo or nothing because that's what that's what I really want to do. I want to go to that San Diego Zoo because there's a place we're down there where you can pet a cheetah, and I need, I need to pet me a motherfucking cheetah, y'all. I need to pet me a cheetah, y'all. Um man, like sometimes I wish that I was like jockey size so I could ride a cheetah. Because I ride a cheetah. I never wanted to ride a greyhound. Greyhounds look weird to me. I don't like how their stomach is concave. Them bitches look hungry. You know what I'm talking about? Like, I don't like that's the only thing I don't really like about the cheetah. That motherfucker always looks hungry. Like his body just looks hungry. You know what I'm saying? And that's crazy. I think there's a Latino woman, a woman yelling outside. Hey, uh, there's this Latino woman. I don't I'm not trying to be mean or nothing like that, but she she keeps speaking Spanish to me like I know what she's saying. And I'm not sure if she's trying to get me to learn, or she's just saying, I don't speak English. Like, I don't know if I don't know which one is which. But uh today she said something to me and I knew what she said, but I didn't know how to tell her that it was wrong. Like she was like, hey, I see you going to work right now. And I was like, I didn't know how to say, nah, I'm just going to the park to sit down and write. But I knew what she said, but I couldn't say what I wanted to say, so I just had to say yeah. So my language ability, my lack of language ability has got me got me lying now. It's got me lying. I stopped Duolingo, I started this other app because Duolingo was just not working. I did over a thousand days on Duolingo, and I still can't speak Spanish. And now I'm like Duolingo had me thinking I'm retarded. Like it had me thinking that I'm just dumb. I'm a stupid, stupid, dumb, dumb. And I'm not, I'm like, I'm not smart. You know what I'm saying? Like I took French in high school and I still don't know how to spell we. You know what I'm talking about? Like, I know how to spell it like we, like W E, but I don't know if that's the way that them French motherfuckers spell that shit. Um, what was I talking about before I got off topic about that that Latino lady? I say Latino because I'm pretty sure she's Mexic Mexican, but she also, but I don't know, I don't know. And I'm in California, you can get your ass whooped for fucking that up. I there was a homie who was from uh Honduras, and I was like, oh shit, you Mexican? And he was like, Man, I'm from Honduras, I will stab you in your face, bruh. And I ain't know it was like that, dog. I ain't even know it was like that. Because Cuba, because I'm from Florida, Cubans and Puerto Ricans look mad different. So you don't you don't mix it up. Cubans is dark as hell, and Dominicans is dark as hell, and Puerto Ricans damn near albinos. You know what I'm talking about? Motherfuckers be thinking I'm Puerto Rican until they ask me how many people I done stabbed, and I say none. That's fucked up. I feel like that's a racist joke, but it's also like no, it's not racist because there's no hate behind it. It's just I I know I know that Puerto Ricans can be a stabby culture. You know what I'm talking about? Like, I don't know if it's like if if if if if it's specifically Puerto Rican. Look, of the Latinos, the Puerto Ricans that I've met are the stabbiest among them. That's all I'm trying to say. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's all that's all that's all I'm trying to say. Dope as hell, fine as hell. Puerto Rican women fine than a motherfucker, but stabby as shit. Um, I still love they ass though. They be talking fast as fuck. I can't really understand Puerto Rican. Uh I can kind of understand Cuban and I can kind of understand Spanish. When I say kinda, I mean like kinda for a dude who can't speak. But like uh Mexican is is like Mexican, California Mexican is is is getting better and Cuban is okay. But like I heard a motherfucker from like where was it? I think it was I think it was Argentina. I that motherfucker, everything he he was talking for like 15 minutes. It sounded like one damn sentence. When y'all be breathing, that's crazy work. Crazy, crazy work. Um, but nah, other than that, man, what else has really been going on in my life? Like, not a whole lot. I've been playing more video games. Um, because you know, I got I got my PlayStation here, and sometimes I need a break. Uh I'm back making videos, I'm back, y'all. I'm back to everything now. Like I said, I just needed a break because Nick got sad and I ain't like where my life was at, and I couldn't see my dick, y'all. I'm not gonna be honest with you. I couldn't see my my wang no more because I'm fat. And every time I look down, it was just it's just like the saggage has caught up to me. You know what I'm saying? And the weight, the ball weight be pulling that shit down. So, you know, it'd be like that sometimes. Anyway, um, uh yeah, so that's that's really what's been going on with me. Uh moved in with my girl and daughter, and uh, we've been kicking it uh tough and shit and uh doing the damn thing. Um I'm still trying to shoot my pilot this year, and my girl's been helping me with getting my my tour booked up so we can shoot that special next year, you know what I'm saying? And uh and she prom I promised her that I would not look, there's a there's a comedy club out there. I'm not gonna name no names because I promised I wouldn't, but there's a comedy club out there that has been fucking with me or lack of fucking with me since I started comedy 18 years ago. And I want to make a video calling them out, but my girlfriend won't let me until my birthday. But on my birthday, the day after my birthday, if the thing that I want hasn't happened yet, I'm making a video, and I'm just gonna let y'all know it's the type of video that I'm gonna say some real raggedy shit, and I just want y'all to be y'all, I want y'all to be prepared to unfollow me after that. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm I'm gonna say some shit that y'all gonna be like, hey, hey, dawg, like I like I know you albino and like you legally blind and like you adopted and like two motherfuckers try to set you on fire and shit, but like you you can't be saying all that, honey. Like, and I just want y'all to know that I said that shit, okay? If I said that shit, I said that shit. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I've done raggedy shit in my life. I don't want I don't like when people be thinking that I ain't never done nothing raggedy. I've done raggedy shit, okay? I remember I slapped a blind person. Well, I mean, I've slapped more than one blind person, but I slapped a blind chick. And here's the fucked up thing. Here's okay, first of all, the like I slapped a blind dude named Michael, but I slapped I only I only punched I punched the shit out of Mike. But here's the thing, I only punched Mike because he punched me first, okay? So my like that that was that was justified. But I did slap this one blind chick and I do not remember why. I genuinely don't remember why. I think she said something that I didn't like and I slapped the shit out of her. And yeah, I was like 10, but still, I was old enough to remember that I slapped that bitch. You know what I'm talking about? Like, I I I slapped the shit out of her. I one time I punched a dude in a wheelchair so hard that he was crying three hours later. Like, and here's the thing all he was doing was verbally defending himself. Well, he hit me first, but he only hit me because I was making fun of him. I was being a bully. He decided to stand up to me, hit me in my face, and then I punched the shit out of him, and he fell out the wheelchair. That's why I'm telling people, every everybody's like, Well, now you gotta hit a bully. Sometimes the bullies are just gonna punch you the fuck back. I'm just gonna let y'all know that. I feel bad about that. I got slapped by a teacher, and and I'm gonna be honest with you. I knew that the teacher shouldn't have slapped me, and the teacher knew that they shouldn't have slapped me, but I also was like, I feel like I deserve that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I I might I deserve that. There was no reason for me to punch that block. I punched that kid out that motherfucking wheelchair. He was already in the wheelchair, and I punched him out his wheelchair. Like that's basically I punched him off his stability, and I felt I feel I still to this day feel bad about that. And we teased that boy. I was getting teased, and so you know, you're trying to get it off of you and onto someone else, but I'm a piece of shit for that, y'all. I'm a piece of shit for that, and I'm sorry. Um, I used to call this one girl. I remember, look, I I watched, I'm not gonna say who, but I watched a couple people feed a less than intelligent person, dog doo-doo, by telling that person that it was chocolate. And I still feel bad about that. I feel bad about that. And and like I said, that's why I can't get too mad that two people have tried to set me on fire. I feel like I deserved one of those light-ups. Now, it wasn't the person who lit me up that I deserved it from, but I feel like Karma, Karma caught up and was like, we're gonna have to, you know, we're gonna have to burn these sins away from you, homie. You know what I'm saying? Because like this is you was a raggedy nigga, okay? You was a raggedy nigga. You remember, you remember that remember when that white dude called you boy that one time and it pierced you inside your soul? Yeah, he he did that because you slapped a blind girl, okay? When you was 10, you slapped a blind girl, and then when you was, you know, 15 and 16, somebody called you boy, and and and it and it hurt you. That's another thing about being albino. Motherfuckers think I don't be going through racism. Nigga, I I dealt with racism that you wouldn't believe. I get racism from black people, from all the people. All of the people are racist to me, which is fucked up and it's not fair, and it's disrespectful. But, you know, it happens. I don't like it. It happens so much that my girl was telling me that she was like, it's fuck it's fucked up that it that the racism has happened to you so many times that you now know how to distinguish between a real racist motherfucker and just somebody that's stupid. She's like, it shouldn't have happened so many times that you can distinguish between the two, or the three or four or five types of racist fuck shit that you gotta deal with. And I was like, I ain't really never had nobody put it to me like that and and and fuck you a little bit with that shit, because I ain't like that. But that's uh that's how that goes. That's that's how that be happening and shit. Uh racism is is is not just for the black people. Because here's the fuck thing about racism. When a motherfucker racist to me, don't nobody come to my aid. You know what I'm talking about? Like, don't nobody, don't nobody come to my aid. And and and I think that's raggedy as fuck. Also, all y'all motherfuckers listening to this, y'all ain't never marched for albino in y'all's life. You've never marched for now. We are literally hunted in certain countries and eaten and sold on the black market bone by bone, but y'all motherfuckers ain't marched for now in albino, have ya? You raggedy bastards. Okay? Giving albino some love. You know what I'm talking about? Give us some love. Stop looking all up in our face and shit. You know what I mean? Just just just just be there. Nigga. You know what I'm saying? Um so there that is. That's about enough nonsense for the day. I'm gonna release another episode later this week because I feel I owe y'all that shit because it's been like two months. But that's enough nonsense for the day. Uh, if you got a topic that you want me to talk about nonsensically, put it in the comments. I hope y'all remember to listen. Follow me on everything. A tour schedule is coming up. I will be in Canada in September doing a tour. So if you are in the Eastern Coast Canada part, uh holla at me. Let me know where you're gonna be, sign up for my newsletter, keep everything, you know, everything. I'm also probably gonna be in New York and I'm gonna be in Texas a little bit. The tour is coming together, okay? Raggedy as hell. Um, all right, y'all. If you love them, hug them for six seconds or more and high five everybody. Y'all be easy out there because I'm back with this motherfucking nonsense. Deuces.