Could you win a medal on that stuff?

This week I'm talking about the enhanced games I'm going to view in Vegas stripper confidence and some other nonsense.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome back to another episode of 12 Minutes of Nonsense. How y'all doing? Y'all alright? Y'all good? In these streets? Well good. God damn it. I'm your host, Nathan Hurd, and uh I'm in these streets. You know what I'm saying? Um this is all nonsense. It's what it is. Um and and you know, I hope that y'all listen. And you know, that's this just me don't talk for a little bit about some of the nonsensical shit that uh that I do, that I be doing. That is done. So the first nonsense that I'm gonna talk about, um, I'm actually gonna be in Vegas uh later this month, later in May, at the Enhanced Games, which are some games that they're doing where they're basically just letting everybody do what the fuck ever they want to do. You wanna take some, you wanna take some steroids, take them bitches, you know what I'm saying? And then they're gonna they're gonna pay people if they break a world record or something like that. They're gonna pay them like a like a whole million million dollars. And uh here's the thing. I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, I'm going because you know they they fly me out there for free and they're gonna put me up in a hotel, and I like going to Vegas. So, but the thing is, I don't know how I feel about it because I was I was I ran track, you know what I'm saying? Like I and I'm I always wanted to go to the Olympics, and this is kind of a thing outside of the Olympics. So on one hand, I'm like, yo, I don't think that people should be doping, you know, at all, you know, in sports. On the other hand, though, like how many people in the Olympics have been caught for doping? You know what I'm saying? Like the Russians used to do their shit all the time. Same with the Germans, shit, same with the Americans. Um, so so there's that, you know, like put everybody on the same level. At the same time, I don't really know how I feel about it on the health wise. My two biggest problems are the health aspect of it. Like, who's gonna what what concern like you can't do like what if like like what if somebody just does a whole bunch of meth and they just run, you know, fast as fuck, boy. You know what I'm saying? Like, I've seen crackheads do some ridiculous shit. Like every time I've seen a crackhead, you know, on a bicycle pedaling uphill with no chain on the bike and a frigerator on the front of the bike, that's that's crack right there. That's I ain't I ain't never seen nobody sober do that ever. That's not even an achievable goal for a sober motherfucker. So, so are we gonna be letting crack in and and and and hair on? Like, what if the next, you know, what if sleeping becomes an event? You know, the the sideway, like what if limbo becomes an event? Like, I don't think there's a person on the planet that can beat a hair on addict at limbo. Because that hair on lean is tough, you know what I mean? They be like they bend their whole back, you know, back sideways and back. So, like, you know, somebody could take some hair on and beat, you know, at the limbo, they could be limbo champ in these streets. Um, you know, you get somebody on mushrooms, you know, like dude, somebody on mushrooms can can can can can run like a motherfucker if they're scared enough. If the demons get real, real, they can be scared as hell. I feel like the only, the only thing. No, see, I was gonna say the only thing that I would be okay with is weed, but at the same time, like, you know, you know those games where you gotta shoot a bunch in and like at what time weed's gonna mellow you out. People gonna they're gonna be they're gonna be mellowed out and they're gonna be able to hit them targets. So what drugs are we talking about? Just letting people take and and then my other problem is the accessibility, you know what I'm saying? Because certain certain cultures like are more have more access to certain drugs. Like, like in America, we we can get cocaine, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know a lot of maybe maybe cocaine is not readily available in other countries. Like, look at Columbia. Colombia's taking all the track prizes, all the sprints. It's gonna be Colombians, first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and that bitch just coked the fuck out. You know what I'm saying? Like, so so so is that fair because they're gonna get pure coke? You know what I mean? Like, is that fair? The Russians they don't got the same regulations as as we do. Them bitches over there fighting bears and shit. Steroid bears and shit like that. They don't give a damn, you know what I mean? Like, so so so because we can't get the Russian steroids or the German steroids, does that mean that we we fucked up? You know what I mean? Like, and then I know that you're not allowed to, like, they don't do they don't you're not allowed to do drug in like a lot of the Muslim countries, a lot of the Middle East, so they just gonna be asked out. You know what I'm saying? Like, they're gonna be like, what y'all eating? Berries and figs and shit? Is that the drugs? Yeah, I mean, like, come on, bruh. I don't know how you would make it fair or safe because certain people have like I know people that are like, man, drugs are terrible, man. Drugs are the worst thing in the world, man. I never do drugs, I never ever in my life do drugs. What about weed? Well, like, weed ain't weed cool though. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I smoke weed though. Like, I'm I'm just saying, like, what about mushrooms?

SPEAKER_00 5:07

But nah, like I ain't talking about mushrooms, dog. You know what I'm saying? Like, I ain't talking about that.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

So, you know what I mean? Like, I know people that be like, that be like, man, I don't do no, I don't smoke nothing, man. I don't never smoke weed, I never do mushrooms, but I've also seen them be like, bruh, your whole face is cocaine white. You know what I mean? Like, you got coke face, you know what I'm saying? So, like, at what point, like purple people have different ideas of different drugs. And like, what if I'm just a bitch and don't like needles? Now I can't do steroids, you know what I'm talking about? Like, so so how do you make it real for everybody? And is that also the message that we want to be these young kids? Like, hey man, fuck working hard. Stick this in your ass. Not like not in your like not in the hole. I'm just talking about like in your booty cheek, because that's where I see a lot of motherfuckers be taking uh steroids and stuff like that. So, you know what I mean? I don't want my 12-year-old fucking, I got I I got a kid, I don't want her, you know, you know, pumping herself full of you know, uh all the steroids and shit like that. Just to just to just to get but at the same like to get a million dollars and shit. But at the same time, it does kind of piss me off that the athletes that go to the Olympics put all this training in and then they don't get paid shit. Like they don't they don't get paid shit. You know what I mean? Like you might, you might, you might, like if you try if you run track, you might make some money when you come back off of like some endorsements or or something like that. But like, but like if if you like badminton motherfucker, you ain't coming back to fucking fanfare. You know what I mean? Like ain't nobody waiting at the airport for you, which is disrespectful. Because badminton hard in the motherfucker. That shuttle cock is hard to hit. You know what I'm saying? So, like, what do we do? Like, I think that people who I think that if you get it, because here's the thing gold medal means something, but I feel like why don't you just give the motherfuckers the equivalent money? You know what I'm saying? Like, some of these countries are poor as shit, and you just gonna give them a gold medal. Like, give give them some cash, bruh. Like, Somalia is a poor ass country, bruh. You get them, get them motherfuckers a gold, give them helicopters full of food, bruh. I feel like, I feel like if you win a gold medal, a silver medal, or a bronze medal, I feel like instead of medals, you should get a wish. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you win a gold medal, you get three wishes. If you win a bronze medal, you get two wishes. And if you win a silver, you get one wish. And that wish can be upwards in and including $10 million. You can have a $10 million wish. You want to ten you just want 10 mil cash, you get 10 mil cash, okay? You know what I'm saying? Like, and you want, you want, you want, you want 10 million, but but if you want like a wish that's more, like you can have a hundred million dollars for your country. You know what I'm saying? Like you're like, hey man, I don't want to, I don't want the 10 million for me. I'll take 1 million for me and a 99 mil for my country and my my peoples and shit. You know what I mean? I feel like that would would, I think that there, like people would be starting to do sports. You know, all these hood kids, you know how many hood kids would be like, yo, you talking about like I go to the Olympics, I can win, I can win bucks. We gonna take over ski, we were gonna take over cross-country skiing and all this shit. We taking all the sports. Broke as we is, you know what I'm saying? Mexico, man, shit. It's corrupt as fuck over there. You don't think some of them motherfuckers over there just like man? You know what I'm saying? Like, man, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me get this sport, let me get this sport, let me get this uh rally car racing on. I don't know if rally car is an Olympic sport, but it should be. I also feel like, I also feel like if you win a gold medal, you should be able to defect to whatever country you want to. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not saying that like everybody would gonna do that. I just think it would be fucking hilarious if like a dude from Spain wins a gold medal and be like, you know what? Fuck that. I ain't Spanish no more. I'm still trading my gold medal in. Now I'm Italian. You know what I mean? Like, I think that would be hilarious. I think that would be funny as shit. Um, yeah, but like, so I don't know how I feel about these games, but I'm going because I want to see what it is. I want to see what it's about. I want to see. I mean, there is some Olympic athletes in the shit, and I want to see what they're gonna do. I wanna see what they're gonna do. I'm curious. I don't know how I feel about it. You know what I'm saying, y'all? I don't know. I'm reserving judgment. Cause I don't, because I don't I don't like the safety, I don't like the accessibility, because at the same time, like you also gotta feel like motherfuckers in the hood ain't, they don't got no, like how the f Kiwan don't know where to get no damn steroids. You know what I'm talking about? Like, he don't he don't know where to get that. So he's gonna get subpar steroids, and now Kewan's eye left eye twitching and shit. He got he got he got C-class steroids, now his eyes twitching. He got twitchy eyes and shit. Okay? Nuck duck done went blind, done went all the way blind. You know what I'm talking about? Like, so so I don't think you're fair. I think richer countries would would have an advantage, but at the same time, like I know that people would watch it because we watch it. You know what I mean? Like the WWF, them motherfuckers were roided the fuck up in the 80s and millions of people watch that shit. Why? Because it's funny, it's entertaining. Was it safe? No. So I don't I don't know how I feel about it. I feel some kind of way about it. I feel like it's a money grab, but so are the Olympics. So is FIVA's one of the most corrupt motherfucking uh like companies, organizations in the goddamn world. You know what I'm saying? I think that they I think that the Olympic I think that both should be thing, but they should both be regulated. But then again, like that means I have to trust the regulators, and I don't trust the regulators. I don't trust them. So I don't know what it's gonna be. I don't know if it's a good or bad idea. I just know it's an idea, and they're gonna give me a free trip to Vegas. So I'm gonna take it and I'm gonna film some shit and I'm gonna look at some shit. And then when I'm done, I'm probably still not gonna know how the fuck I feel. But uh, I'm gonna take this free ass trip. I'm gonna tell you that. I'm gonna take this free ass motherfucker trip. Um, because I am curious. I am curious. I will say this. I don't know if I'm gonna tell, like, look, I don't know because they still do take your medal away in the Olympics, if you if you break a record, regardless if you get caught doping, I don't know that if I I would count it as a world record if you break a world record. But they saying if you break a world record, they're gonna give you a million dollars. So if I could run fast and break a world record, just being on the juice, I would I would break that record. Or would I? I don't know. Would that tainish my my legacy? But like what if would it tainish my legacy? But what if I came back and then was not on the juice and then broke this? You see what I'm saying? Like, so I don't know. It's a conundrum, is what it is. It's a conundrum. But it should be fucking entertaining as fuck. It should be ridiculous as hell. Because I feel like I'm gonna see some dude. I can't, I hope I see some roid rage. Like, because the only events that I'm seeing is track, track and field, and then like uh swimming, and then weightlifting. And I'm curious to see somebody Royd Rage and just like hit a motherfucker with a discus. I think that'll be fucking hilarious. Unless it's me, then it won't be funny. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't I don't want to get hit with a discus again. That's not the business. That's not the business. Hey, let me ask y'all something. Do women with little breastuses because here's the thing, because women that go small little thing, things, they be dancing their ass off, right? With confidence, because they know that, you know, unlike big big-breasted women, they're not gonna knock themselves the fuck out. Because I've I've actually seen that. I've seen women with some, you know, with some hugens, you know, slap themselves in the face with it. And and it's and it and you know, it's hilarious. But also is it's I'm saddened because I know that they can't really get buck ass wild like they want to. You know what I mean? Like when it's when like the go ahead, go ahead, it's your birthday, it's your birthday. And you want to, you know, you want you out there doing a running man hard as hell, you know, if you got biggins, you can't you can't do the running man hard as hell. That's just gonna hurt. And little titty women can do that. And I'm here's the thing, I'm not saying that that little titty is a big titty, that one is better than the other, because I just like breast assistants. You know what I'm saying? Like, I like them all. Long ass ones, sideways one, them triangle bitches, AK bullet, with the ones where it's like they got the long ass nips and shit, and then the like the ones that's like 76% areola, those are dope. Um, the ones that's like three different colors, them bitches that look like a seal face, you know what I mean? Like, I like them all. But I'm just wondering how big-breasted the women feel about little breasted women when they see them in the club going ham. That's all, that's all I'm really wondering. Um, and I know that's off topic, but still, this is this is nonsense. This is all nonsense, is what this is. You know what I'm saying? You ever try and bite an itch? Is that just me? Is that just something that I do in my time? Like when the itch gets real bad and your hand's busy, you just try to bite the shit out that itch? Like, not even try and itch it. I'm not talking about like itching it with your teeth. Like, I do that too. I've seen other people do that, but I'm talking about like trying to bite the itch. Like just be like, man, my hand itchy as fuck right now. I wish I could take a bite out of my out of my hand meat because my shit itching. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. I don't know. I'm maybe that's just me, a me thing, but I feel like it's not. I feel like we have all bit and itched before. You know what I'm saying? You know, sometimes I wish I had stripper confidence. You know what I mean? Like, to just be butt naked and walk up to somebody and be like, hey man, I'll sit on your lap and gyrate for $40. You know what I mean? Like, that's crazy confidence. I don't have that confidence. I don't have I don't know if I have that confidence to say that to my girl. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's crazy confidence. That's it's an insane amount of confidence. I don't think we give strippers enough respect for the the amount of confidence you have to have to get on stage, shake your ass butt naked, you know, spread them open, and then get off stage knowing everybody done seen up inside you, and then be like, hey man, I'm gonna put my clothes back on in front of people, and then I'm gonna come up up here and ask y'all, y'all wanna dance? You know what I mean? Like that's crazy. Personally, I don't really go to strip clubs no more. Um, I haven't gone in in over a decade, but it's not because I don't like naked. I love naked, it's just because I got a girl, I don't need to, but also because um I don't like the the exchange rate. You know what I'm saying? I'm legally blind, but I pay the same price, and I don't think that that's fair because I'm not seeing what everybody else is seeing. You know what I'm saying? So like I don't like I don't feel I don't feel like I don't like you wouldn't go to a strip club if if if if your hands were numb. You know what I mean? Like you it wouldn't feel the same. It is not, and I don't like that. I don't like that I gotta pay the same amount when I don't get the same experience. I don't think that that's fair. Kind of like how, you know, I don't like to go to to sporting events where I gotta I gotta pay the same price to not see nothing. That's disrespectful. You know what I mean? So so I don't like going to strip clubs because they're gonna be like it's $40. You know, I gotta I'm I'm not gonna make it rain when I can't feel the drizzles. That's that's not something that I'm gonna do in these streets, personally. You know what I'm saying? Personally, that's not what I'm about. I'm not about that life. Also, uh, just just just a side note, the the the the the dudes for the Fulio Coolio, Julio Fulio? Fulio Drulio? The fuck of that nigga name? I'm from Jacksonville too, and I I forgot that. It's Fulio in that bitch, then I don't the Fulio motherfucker. I don't know his whole name, but Fulio, Julio Coolio, Fulio, one of them is his names. Or two of them's I'm I'm I'm like a third off, and I don't know what part of off I am, but y'all know who I'm talking about. The dudes that shot him, uh, they got caught and then they went on trial and they just got found guilty and stuff. But uh why doesn't nobody ever in court, why doesn't nobody ever in court taunt the people who are going to jail? Because like if if if somebody killed my friend and then they went to court and then they got convicted, when they got convicted, I'm gonna say something. You know what I mean? Like I'm gonna be I'm gonna say something raggedy. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna cackle laugh like ha ha ha ha you going to jail, jail, you going to where you go, you going to jail, eh, eh. You know what I mean? I'm gonna say something raggedy. Like I won't be like, hey man, how many times you gonna get fucked in the ass? 45 47. You know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna do something like that, and it never gets done. I wanna see somebody be like, hey man, you have how many years you got? 45 47. You know what I mean? I want to see that. I want to see the disrespect. Hey man, you have a fun time in jail, dog. I'm gonna go out there, eat a cheeseburger, and kick a puppy just because I can. You know what I mean? I might have some ice cream too. You gonna shit in front of people forever. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, why don't people say stuff like that? They just always tell, I hate you. And it's like, no, man, tell them what they're in stare for. Like, hey, dog, it's gonna stink where you're going. It's always gonna stink. You gonna smell nuts the rest of your like I that would be crazy to me to know that I'm about to smell nuts every single day forever. For the rest of my life, I'm gonna smell somebody else's nuts. No matter what my day is like, for sure, I'm gonna smell somebody's nuts. And I'm gonna smell somebody's nuts so often that it's gonna I'm gonna get used to it. And when I get and if I ever like get out, I'm gonna miss the smell of nut. I'm gonna miss nuts smell. That's crazy. I'm gonna be like, man, it don't smell different. It smells all different on the outside, man. I don't smell that that from under cheese, man. I need that cheese in my life, dog. That from under cheese. That's crazy. You know what I mean? And I don't I don't want that. Also, I feel like you can't wear shower shoes in jail. And I I don't want to I don't want my bare feet to touch the showers in jail. Like I like just thinking about it gives me a panic attack. Just thinking about my bare bottom feet touching, like my toes touching the floor in a jailhouse shower like makes me cringe. Like that'll make me not do crime. You know what I mean? Like I I don't I don't I don't like that. I don't I don't like I don't like the idea that like I I'm for sure stepping on somebody's churrin. I'm stepping on butter, like that, that splooge skeet skeet. I'm stepping on it. I know for a fact I'm stepping on it. Somebody got it smells like butt. It smell how does it smell like booty hole and balls in the shower? Do you know how much funk there has to be for it to smell like ass in the shower? That is a that is a cacafinous amount of funk. For it to smell like assholes and ball sacks in the place where you get clean your assholes and ball sacks. That's man. Don't go to jail, people. Just ugh. Anyway, that's that's about enough nonsense for this week. Um, I hope that y'all uh y'all y'all appreciate the nonsense, man. I hope y'all appreciate it. And and fuck Netflix, because they they're doing the Netflix is the joke festival, and they didn't book me on not one goddamn show, because they some ho ass, ho ass hoes. And uh, but it's okay. Uh keep keep my name in your mouth. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna be I'm I'm putting together the tour. We're gonna be in Canada in September, on the East Coast in September, so look for that. Um, yeah, follow me on everything Instagram, Twitter, all that shit. Um don't buy cyber trucks because they look stupid and and I hate you. And uh yeah, man. If you love them, have them for six seconds or more, and high five everybody. You know what I mean? This is Nathan Heard, and this has been 12 minutes of nonsense, even though it's it's more than 12 minutes. And I'll holler at y'all next week, alright? Doses.