E25 Walking Into an Adult Store for the First Time (Why It’s Way More Awkward Than You Think)

There are a few moments in life that instantly take you back to being a teenager again, and walking into an adult store for the first time is definitely one of them. The awkward eye contact, the “don’t look too long” panic, the internal debate in the parking lot, it’s all real.

In this episode, we break down our first experience, from being 18 and completely out of our depth to how those uncomfortable moments actually opened the door to better communication, curiosity, and a stronger connection in our marriage.

What starts as a funny story turns into something deeper. It’s not really about the store, it’s about what happens when you stop avoiding the conversation and start being honest about what you want.

If you’ve ever felt awkward talking about intimacy, this episode will hit home, and probably make you laugh more than once.

Show  Links: 

FTLOI (FOR THE LOVE OF IT:

https://youtu.be/P-w0aJTZq5c?si=qfhoTy4qZ9yq6d_D

https://www.ftloi.net/

⭐ About Undressed Conversations

We’re Mark and Tonya, high school sweethearts married for 30 years. After decades of trying to fit into roles that weren't ours, we finally dropped the masks and started telling the truth about marriage, intimacy, shame, healing, and what it actually takes to stay connected for life. Our goal is simple, to help couples build relationships that feel alive again.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

There are very few moments in life where you feel like a teenager again. Your first kiss, your first job, and walking into an adult store for the first time like you just committed a felony. I walked in like a grown woman and within 10 seconds I was scanning for exits.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

You say felony, I say field trip. I walked in like, oh my gosh, we're doing this today. Perfect. Meanwhile, you're acting like you got jumped off at the wrong building.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

I didn't know where to look, okay? You look too long, it's anything, and suddenly it feels like it's your personality trait.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Meanwhile, I'm like picking things up, I'm reading labels. I'm fully committed. We're already here. Let's at least be honest.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

We shouldn't still be married, but somehow after 32 years, we're still together.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

We've survived alcoholism, betrayal, religion, losing ourselves, losing each other, and rebuilt a marriage that most said would never last.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

And somewhere along the way, Mark started coming with me to buy underwear.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Yeah, because if the marriage is healthy, the lingerie should be too.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

And that's how we knew our marriage was different.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

This podcast is for couples who want connection, honesty, and a marriage that feels alive again.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

And for anyone who wants the truth about love, think about all the bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

This is Undressed Conversations.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Where we strip marriage down to what's forget.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Everyone remembers their first time walking into an adult store. And if they say they don't, they're lying. You walk in confident and leave questioning basically everything you saw.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

It's not about the store. It's about how fast your comfort level gets tested.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

It exposes how you communicate about intimacy.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

And whether you can stay open or shut down completely.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

What do you mean, parking lot negotiation?

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Oh, I mean that you're out there in the parking lot questioning your life choices that day.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Do you remember the first time that we ever ventured into an adult store?

SPEAKER_02 1:59

I do. I do actually.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Talk to me about it.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

It was in Billings, Montana.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

There was a place called Big Sky Books. They did not sell books.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

It took us a long time to even remember the name of the store.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

It did, it did. And it was one of those that had the arcades in the back. So you had the store in the front and then the arcade in the back. So not only did you get your first introduction to all the assorted items in the store, but you got your introduction to the people going in and out of the arcade. And you're like, huh. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

I also remember that. I remember going in there and we were with another couple.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Mm-hmm. And we were what, 18?

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Yeah, like old enough to go there.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Yeah, we were 18. It was right after we graduated.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

And so it was kind of one of those things, you're like, oh, we're gonna be super naughty. We're gonna we're gonna go to Big Sky Books. Let's just check it out and see what's we don't know what's in there, but we heard tales. Tons of tales. And so let's check it out. And like immediately you're hit in the face with a wall of penises, pickles, schlongs, sausages, tabosses of all shapes and sizes. And as as a as as a young boy. That's very intimidating.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

Like, wow.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Like where do these come from?

SPEAKER_02 3:36

But but not only that, but you sheepishly try not to walk by the wall of female anatomy over there. Because you're like, huh. This is awkward. And then you really, really tiptoe past all the anal toys because you don't want to look too interested in those either.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

Yeah, and there's that whole wall. Like, was there any part of it that wasn't awkward?

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Hmm. The first time I think everything was awkward, to be honest. And that's why that's why we're talking about the whole parking lot negotiation, because you kind of have to convince yourself to go in. If you've never been there before, you're like, Am I really doing this? Let me breathe. Okay, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. Because number one, everyone's gonna look at me, everyone's gonna judge me, everyone's gonna think I'm into weird things. If I pick up this, they're gonna think I'm wanting to do that. And like, yeah, like they're all these things.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

It was just about as awkward.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

I mean, yeah. Just act normal, just act normal.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Being serious here, just being serious. You know, keeping it real.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

Do you remember who brought it up? Who who suggested we go?

SPEAKER_00 4:56

I think we were very mutual.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

But I do remember the feeling of walking in there and we're like, you know, it's kind of one of those things like just fucking be cool. Just fucking be cool. Like, keep your shit together. Don't look at anything too long, don't be awkward, don't don't make them ideous, number one.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Because we probably look like we're too young.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

This is just research. We're just gonna look to research. We're not gonna buy anything. We're just gonna look at it.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

Is it we is that what we were doing? Is research?

SPEAKER_02 5:27

It was research.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Research, okay. Yeah, we're here for scientific purposes only to gather intelligence.

unknown 5:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Do you think you were excited or nervous to go in for the first time?

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Dude, I was excited.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Yeah, I think I was nervous. I was I was totally nervous.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

I was a sexually abused little freak. Yeah, you were what are you talking about? Was I excited? Yeah. I was like, if I could have gone here when I was 12, those have been a lot better than the freaking uh bowling alley bathroom. Got some good shit out of those vending machines back in the bowling alley. I don't know if you remember those. You get them at the convenience store, bowling alley, like they had the little condom machines in the men's bathroom. Did they have those? No? We're getting way off subject. I'm not gonna dive down where things were available. I'm just gonna say I had experiences. Okay. And so that led me into wanting to visit these because I was like, if those little vending machines offer such trinkets, what would be available of an entire store?

SPEAKER_02 6:27

The only trinkets I cared about was the one that the chicken pooped out, and you got those little toys. Remember those machines at the grocery store, and they had those little machines that you can get the little toys.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

I was so innocent.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

We were we had different childhoods.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Uh indeed we did. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

I I yeah, but I don't remember who brought it up, and I do remember feeling very awkward. Like, uh uh. Where do I look?

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Yeah, like I don't want to seem too interested in something, but I kind of want to check that out because that looks really interesting.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

And the thing you're that's silently going through your mind is like, if this is for sale here, they actually moved this product. Supply and demand is real. So I think about like swinging that door open the first time and walking in and looking around. And that leads us in to stage two, the walk-in panic.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Where you're having like, whoo, immediate overload. Like you're like, wow, there is so many things. Your eyes are scanning back and forth, and you're seeing things that you've never seen before, and sizes that you could not even fathom, and you're just like, whoa.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

And the other part I want to say is that you're there and you realize that somebody works here.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

Yeah. Like this is their normal day-to-day.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

And while they're very comfortable with it, you're thinking, like, the last thing I want to do is make eye contact with this individual. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

And please, please don't ask me if I need help. Please don't ask me if I need help.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Please don't and the thing they're thinking is I wish these people were comfortable enough to ask for help. Because what did we learn for the love of it?

SPEAKER_02 8:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

We went, and if you didn't know, we did a previous podcast episode on what's it like to uh go to an adult store for the first time. We'll put a link down in the description below. But these people actually take the time to educate themselves when you find a really good one. They're very clean, they're very social, they're a great part of the community. They're helping couples reconnect.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

And you realize the good that comes out of this through those interactions. And so we'll drop a link to their store down below where you can buy all these great toys. No affiliate whatsoever, just people we and you don't even have to go into their store.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

You can just go to their website.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Yeah. F uh F T L O I.net. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

I I have a memorized because I shop there quite frequently.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

Yeah. So go there, check out all their stuff. But these people are trained to educate you on the product. They don't feel worried about it. As weird as you may feel about anything that is there, anything you're seeing, this is their normal. This is their everyday. It's what they do. They want to help you. So if you have a question, ask them what's the best lube for XYZ? And they can tell you, I really like stimulation here. How do I achieve that best?

SPEAKER_02 9:47

And the the way you know if you have a good adult store is if you are up there to purchase an item and they ask you, can you need any lube with that?

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Because really, like a lot of people don't have no clue that they need to have lube with a certain item.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

And if you if they suggest one, give it a try. Give it a go. Give it a go. Lube is always welcome.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

But I mean, knowing what we know now, but look, but looking at our 18-year-old selves, there's so much we didn't know. And man, just walking in there and trying to act normal and trying not to show interest in things because you're ashamed because you have no clue.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

And the other thing I'll say is that when you support these independent stores, they actually take the time and effort to put in the research, and they're really super helpful. So support your local stores, they really need you.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

And they're doing a great job of bringing connection to the community. So they're they're there to help you. Just try to act normal. They like that.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Just give it a go. Well, but when you're when you're immature and young, it's hard to act normal. Because you have no clue. You have no life experiences. 18-year-old self, myself, had no clue at all. And I wish we would have had the same store when we were 18, because we probably would have had a whole totally different experience. Because the people that we know now and the stores that we go to, there's been a couple of them actually. They are super helpful, and they're super friendly and super um inviting.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

So there's the one in Jacksonville, Florida that we really enjoyed.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

She was amazing. Roz? Is it Roz?

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Roz. Um I don't remember the name of the store. Well, maybe put a link down below. No affiliate whatsoever, but super friendly store. And these these are the local, local people that are just doing doing, I like to say God's work.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

They are.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Honestly.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Yeah. But let's go, let's go back the first time you walked into that store. Like, who do you think was more awkward? Me or you?

SPEAKER_00 12:03

You.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

I would have to agree.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

Yeah, I th I think you were more awkward.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

I think so too.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

I was I was very curious, not as awkward. I was like, you know, because you have to walk into one of those stores, and the thing you realize is if it's there, somebody's using it.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

It didn't exist in a void.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Obviously, if they're mass-producing these items, people are using them.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

So when you look at something and you're like, oh, I feel kind of a little bit ashamed looking at this, just understand it wouldn't exist if there wasn't millions of other people in a huge market for that product. Whatever it is. I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

I'm like, don't stare supply and demand. Don't stare too long, don't stare too long, don't stare too long.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

And what was that first run-through like? It was, I think we were just kind of like like do the quick tour.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

It was. It was the quick tour. And I do, I I do remember the wall of vibrators because we did stop and look at those because that was the main focus, right? Yeah, that that was the main focus.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

Being honest. We were there because everybody said a woman needs a vibrator.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

Yes. And so that that was, I think that's why we were there, actually. And I believe we did purchase one too, but I can't remember what it was. I think it was something like a rabbit. If you remember, if people remember the rabbits, they still make them.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Oh, dude, they're pretty popular.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Yeah. But not the cool ones like they have now. Like the ghetto ones. Ghetto rabbits.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Some of those are pretty ghetto. Chinese rabbits that you get in like returned mail.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Not quite as good.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Oh, and it had the beads. So it had the it had the tube and it had the beads. And the beads like moved.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Yeah. That's what it was. I I absolutely remember that.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

Do you remember that one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

You know, the whole time we're just sitting there, we're trying to act natural, not awkward. You know? Don't start too long. Don't look at anything. Especially and especially the really awkward things, like the giant stuff.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

But you kind of like, you're kind of side-eyeing it like, don't I see what I thought I saw? Because holy jeepers.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Yeah. Ooh. It's it's very intimidating, especially when you don't have any clue what some of those things are used for.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

But it was kind of erotic too. Do you remember being kind of turned on?

SPEAKER_02 14:28

I think we came back and we had fun.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Yeah, I I feel like I feel like we got turned on. You know?

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

And that's when we shifted to stage three. From just browsing.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

That's when we actually kind of started to let loose, you know, pick up a few things and look at them and and you know, actually investigate what was out there.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

You know, we're not just making a quick scan and trying to feel, you know, normal. Yeah. Or, you know, not make eye contact. But now we're we're we're browsing. We're looking.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Well, the hard part's done. Like you're in the store, you're there. You already did that awkward entrance, and now you're in there.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

So I don't think I even did that on the first time.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

The awkward entrance?

SPEAKER_00 15:15

No, I think that we didn't start really browsing until like the second, maybe third.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

I think we did the quick one over the first time.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Was just like, let's get in here, see what the fuck's going on, and split as soon as we feel weird.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

And then we're, I think we probably talked about them. We're like, okay, well, that was kind of interesting. That was kind of interesting. So then the second time we went in, we're like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

But I feel like that time was in Cheyenne.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

It was. I remember the second time.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

We were on a honeymoon, and I think that was maybe the second or third time we'd ever visited. But this time we were really serious. We're like, now we're married. Yeah. We can have some of this stuff. We can do. So now we're we're browsing around. We're really looking, but we're still kind of fucking nervous about, you know, it's it's still quite an awkward situation.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

You know, like what happens if I do bring some of this stuff up to the counter?

SPEAKER_02 16:08

Oh yeah. And are are they going to think less of me if I bring this? Like if they're gonna be like, oh wow, this chick is a freak, or oh wow, she's she's so boring. Like, there's some other other things out there. Yeah, seriously. I I I always thought about them judging me silently.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

And the reality is, every single one of those people that works back there sees this stuff every day. They are so desensitized to it. We're worried really about nothing. There's nothing for us to worry about. They see this every day. They're not weirded out by it. No, huh? Thinking, who is this freak? They're like, oh, he's like the ten other people I saw before him.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Was there anything that you saw in there for the first few times that made you uncomfortable?

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Yeah, there was definitely giant stuff. Yeah, like giant penises. I was like, oh my gosh. As a little teeny tiny grower, that stuff's intimidating. I'm like, who in the world? And there's no way I could ever compete with that stuff. If she ever finds out about this and it's her thing, I I'm done. You know?

SPEAKER_02 17:20

It was okay. I was more wondering, like, how people made those fit. I was like, wow. That's that's a lot of damage right there.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Dude, nowadays you walk in and the things that make you laugh are like, wow, the creatures. The tails.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Yeah, the octopus tentacles and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

You're like, I mean, it's there's something for everybody.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Yeah, the dolls.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

The pillows. Yeah. There's some interesting things.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

It kind of starts switching. And you go from Yeah, we're browsing to we're not browsing anymore.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

That leads us to stage four, your honest moment.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

When you stop browsing and you start really being curious.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Yeah. And you you're not afraid to ask questions. Because one of the things that I've learned from for the love of it is they love questions. Like people that come in there and like, okay, what does this do? You know, I'm looking for this, or you know, I'm looking for something that does this, or you know, this one, I need this size, or is that too big, or is this normal? Like, they love those questions.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

What feels best?

SPEAKER_02 18:36

What feels best.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

What feels natural.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

You know, and when you can ask those questions and start being open and honest, it was easy to talk. When we started listening to each other, yeah. And it opened up dialogue. It's like everything else. When we were able to talk about the things we wanted to introduce from the toy store, the easier everything else got.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Well, and I think we just we started to become more curious.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Oh, super curious.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

You know, we're not we're not awkward anymore. We're like, okay, I'm interested. Yeah. Why? Why? Why? Let's try it. Like, sounds fun.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Let's look at some reviews.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

Let's check it out. Like, is there I mean, if it exists, let's what feels better? Glass, silicone.

SPEAKER_02 19:25

Well, and granted, when we were younger, you know, 20, 25 years ago, we didn't have the luxury of the internet where you can look at reviews and you can look at- We didn't have the luxury of money either. Well, that too.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

That too. So I would say.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

I mean, yeah. So it was more of you had to buy it to try it. You couldn't just go on Google and find out what's the best vibrator, you know, and be like, oh, I want to try that one. So that was a lot of trial and error back then.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

And I think we started getting in there when we went on our honeymoon, and it went from judgment to like curiosity to like, hey, you know, would you try that? Is that something that interests you? And it was hard to talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Oh, it was.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

I think there was definitely things that I was interested in that we were not going to talk about. Like, I know that. You know, because that starts making you face your fantasies, what you're interested in.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

And when you're in a fledgling relationship, you don't talk about that that much.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

No.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Like, I don't want to scare him away because I share this information about me. You know, I don't want him to think I'm a freak. And but really, he he's gonna be like, I kind of like that.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Well, that got real fast. That's what I'm thinking. I moved fast.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Hmm. Yeah. Like, well, and you start looking at all the different options and thinking of all the possibilities. It's just eyes wide open, man. It's like whew. Stage five, the checkout. So the first checkout.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

The first checkout. Do you remember what that was like?

SPEAKER_02 21:13

Very, very scary.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

You're like, these people are.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Okay, I'm gonna slide this across the counter. Don't look at me, don't look at me, don't look at me. Yeah. Like, just take my money.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

I hope I'm not too weird.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Don't look awkward. I hope this is just kind of halfway normal. I don't want to be on it, you know, like a end of the spectrum.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

This is this is terrifying.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Like she's gonna, she's gonna think I'm like the most weird person in the world because I bought this and yeah. Or he or whatever. But it everything goes through your head, like, am I really doing this? Like, oh my gosh. Now, compared to who we are now, checkouts the best part.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

Oh, uh they're so helpful.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

Oh, you have toy cleaner? Yeah. Oh no, heck yeah, I just forgot. I'm out of that.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Would you like some free samples?

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Oh, well, what do you have? There may be things that we haven't tried. Believe it or not, I yeah, I love free samples.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

And you know, this time when they ask you, no, is there anything else I can help you find or anything like that?

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Now we're like, okay, actually, actually, thinking we heard about something like this that does this, or we're having this problem, we're liking, we want this experience. And they're like, oh, we have this over here. And it's like, we communicate with them. I don't care. This is there every day, and nobody has ever made us feel weird.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

Ever.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Ever.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

And it's one of that is also one of our new things that we have just recently done, probably in the past, what, three years? Like when we go on road trips, we go to town, we look for those stores to go to.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

We do because everyone's different, everyone has a different supply, a different vibe. You never know what you might find at one that you have never seen before. You know, it's it's kind of a fun little thing that we do. It's it's a little, it's our road trip thing. It's like visiting antique malls for us. It's like, you want to go to an adult store?

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Yes, please. Oh, there's one at X is 69.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Interesting. Interesting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

What do you know about that?

SPEAKER_02 23:14

But I freaking love it. I f I love the openness it brings to our relationship and our sex life and just the excitement. It's just chef's kiss.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

I remember a time here not very long ago. Four years ago. And I was so nervous when I went there because I was in kind of a company truck and I didn't want to be in company gear. Like I was changing out all my shirt and stuff. I was like, I had to park around back. I'm like, nobody can see me here. Like this'll this will destroy my reputation. And now I talk about this stuff daily because I think that's part of the problem.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

It is.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

It's all the shame around it. It's the fact that if somebody sees me carrying this bag out to the parking lot and they see me here, that's why it's so hard for these places to survive if they don't have private parking. Like it should not be a thing. Everybody's going and they're all sneaking around trying to figure out a, you know, taking an Uber.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Whatever they have to do to get there.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

But they're all doing it.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

Oh, and the thing is, is we're all doing it. We're all, everyone's having sex. Everyone's getting freaky. There are people that are into so many different things, and everything is okay. It's all okay. Like, nothing to be ashamed of. Anything in an adult store.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Do your thing because those are the most non-judgmental people you ever meet, because they see it all day long, every day. All types of people. Doesn't matter, LGBTQ, they don't care. They're just there to help you. Use the resource you have and stop feeling shame. You walk in there and fuck your friends. If your friends drive by and see your fucking car out front and then they ask you questions about it, just be like, yeah, my wife and I like to keep it freaking super hot.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Do you need any recommendations?

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Yeah. If you need some recommendations or if you feel awkward, we'd be happy to take you down there and provide you some guidance. That's the way we'd be. Yeah. We have definitely been some of the people that have introduced people to those stores and tried to make them feel more comfortable because it is super comfortable.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

It's human nature, baby.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

Shout out to Lilani and Jake. Jake and Wenatchee Washington. For the loveofit.net. They are amazing supporters. And check out their episode here, link down below. That's that's what it's supposed to be like. It should be it should be educational. It should be an experience that you look forward to and never awkward.

SPEAKER_02 25:44

Never awkward. Never be ashamed to go in there.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

We are we we don't we never let it feel awkward anymore.

unknown 25:50

No.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

But for those people who are doing it for the first time, it is gonna feel a little weird, but just know you're normal.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

That first trip into an adult store usually starts as a joke, a dare, maybe some curiosity, but it ends up showing you a lot more than was it ends up showing you a lot more than what was sitting on the shelves. It shows you whether you can stay open when something feels awkward, whether you can laugh instead of clamp up, and whether or not you can actually tell the truth about what you want.

SPEAKER_02 26:25

And honestly, that's the real point. It isn't about buying the wildest thing in the building. It's about being able to say, this makes me curious, this makes me nervous, this makes me laugh. And this part of me still feels a little embarrassed. That kind of honesty is what actually makes couples closer.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

The couples who can laugh and explore, talk in those uncomfortable moments, are usually the ones that keep growing together.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

And the couples who can't usually leave more behind than they realize. So maybe for the first time walking into an adult store isn't really about the store at all. Maybe it's just one more chance to stop pretending and start talking with your spouse.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

And until next time, we hope you stay undressed.