Episode 20: Live in Lacy

We worked together with   @stonedgooseproductions     @stonemusicent   at the BeatDrop in Lacy, Wa! For our first ever live podcast!


New episode coming soon!

   @Jokedealer  @gavvygoo  

#funny  #standupcomedy   #behindthelaughter   #standup  #entertainment  #local #tacoma #washington  #candy #live #follow #clips #happy

@Isaacmazzicomedy @billsleepinking on instagram much more on youtube @crackineggscomedy

Transcript

SPEAKER_14 0:00

This is Isaac. Welcome to the Kraken Eggs Podcast. Tonight we're live on location at the B Droppin' Lazy. Don't forget to like, share, subscribe, help out the homies. We're doing the Kraken Eggs podcast. We're on the scene today, dude. Live and we're in the we're up in the beat drop in Lacey.

SPEAKER_07 0:41

Yeah. I know it sounds like our average club in the background right now. There is a stripper.

SPEAKER_14 0:47

There is a there are strippers in the background. Candy! Candy! Yeah, no, she doesn't listen to me. They never listen to me, dude.

SPEAKER_07 0:55

Yeah. I'm always used to you shouting out candy, candy. Usually when you go to the school, so probably what it is.

SPEAKER_14 1:03

So today we got we're here, we're here, we got our friends. We're joined up with a couple guys that have not been on the show yet, and I'm excited to even get them in here. We got Lonnie over here, dude. We got Lonnie, dude. How's it going, my friend?

SPEAKER_02 1:14

You know, I'm uh I'm living life and wife. Living wife in wife? Yeah, the midwife.

SPEAKER_14 1:20

Oh, midwife. Hell yeah, dude. I hope that works out for you. And we got dude. How's it going, Bob?

SPEAKER_10 1:27

Pretty darn good. I'm not on my mind today, but uh, this is what a podcast is for. Oh, yeah. What's on your mind, man? I'm uh I'm gonna be moving soon. I'm uh yeah, skedaddling over to Georgia. Yeah. Yeah, the good old Georgia skedaddle is what they call it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

What did Bieber say? I get my peaches out in Georgia.

SPEAKER_10 1:47

Yeah, are you a big peach guy? Yeah, so they can be nice and juicy sometimes. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_14 1:55

That's good, Bob. That's good. You know what's kind of funny is I'm sitting here between two guys, and you wouldn't guess that one of these guys beat me in a rat battle, and one of these guys I beat in a rat battle, and you wouldn't guess which one it is. The witness. I lost to Bob.

SPEAKER_13 2:12

Me and him, we tied.

SPEAKER_10 2:15

It happens, you know. I was looking pretty ridiculous myself. Uh yeah, I mean I was in a uh a cheap Batman costume at the time, so yeah.

SPEAKER_14 2:22

Hell yeah. That was a that was some dark times. That was some dark times. But your bulge was good, dude. Thank you.

SPEAKER_10 2:28

Yeah, I wasn't sure, or like through the through the entirety projection before they shut down Triple B. Uh I wasn't sure if I should have had like uh if I should have had my underwear on or if I just like do a commando, and I'm not sure it would be more embarrassing, so uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

So which one did you go with it?

SPEAKER_10 2:44

Yeah. Mostly commando.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Mostly commando? Yeah, sometimes I would have the underwear. How often did you put it on? The costume?

SPEAKER_10 2:52

I'm gonna say six times total.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

And how many how many were commando?

SPEAKER_07 2:57

Four, I'm gonna say, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 2:58

Last time.

SPEAKER_07 3:01

Probably. But everyone's wondering which one did you prefer?

SPEAKER_10 3:05

I I'm actually actually like I I know that it's funny, but I I actually don't know, but I it was generally just easier when I was commando and it just like adjust my bulbs with like with the fake belt and everything.

SPEAKER_07 3:16

That's that's wonderful. I I kind of like, yeah, I wish I could go commando more because it just seems like more free and stuff. Could you feel the like um material of were you wearing like the sweatpants and stuff?

SPEAKER_10 3:31

Like was it a different kind of material? It was it was just basically like a morph suit oot from just the entire body. I I'm really glad that uh it was I'm I wasn't sure if I was getting way through it, but sometimes it just like uh I feel the velcro burst of it, and I'm really glad I didn't fall to like the entire penis show or whatever. So funny.

SPEAKER_07 3:54

That's the funniest thing you can do. Yeah, that's how Batman loses his identity. It reveals his identity with his whole penis and everything.

SPEAKER_14 4:03

Did the velcro ever stick to the hair? Surprisingly.

SPEAKER_12 4:06

Surprisingly, no. Wow, huh? That's a wild situation.

SPEAKER_10 4:10

Yeah, I know, but it's really a pain in the ass when accidents butt. Uh soda on my arm. You know, as President Biden once said, Soda! Hey, uh the name.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Did you play any neat games lately? Um I've been playing Hogwarts Legacy. Fuck yeah. It's fun, it's pretty fun.

SPEAKER_15 4:29

My woman, that was their first game, that was her first game to break her cherry on real gaming.

SPEAKER_14 4:34

Real game as opposed to what? Like, like, like like farm simulators, like, like, like, like animal cross kind of crossing kind of joke.

SPEAKER_10 4:43

I don't know if a lot of women like to play the Sims, including the monsters dude. They love the control.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Yeah, and it's because they're stupid.

SPEAKER_15 4:52

It's called God mode for a reason, right?

SPEAKER_14 4:55

She plays because it's funny because she's probably at home right now playing Disney Dreamlight, which is basically uh the Sims Disney version.

SPEAKER_15 5:04

Well it's cause women women shouldn't be in Sims.

SPEAKER_10 5:07

Wait, wait, wait, can you uh can you make weird shits happen in that game? It's like the you said it's like the Sims, but Disney, can you like like mismatch characters from different IPs or whatnot?

SPEAKER_13 5:18

Um, I don't you're getting way too advanced in this for me, dude. I should notice. No, dude, I don't know. I know you can love you.

SPEAKER_07 5:25

Do you love her or no? Do I love her? Yeah, this is a little bit more. Oh, I fucking love the hell out of her. Then you should have answered the question by now. What, if I love her? No, if if they're in different IPs and stuff.

SPEAKER_15 5:37

No, no, it's just I should know if I love her, I should know her IPs, dude. Like really. You should know her IPs, bro. Really?

SPEAKER_13 5:46

She's got it blocked on the video.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Speaking of the city, what are you talking about the tides? Uh-huh. The moon and the tides. She's all about the moon and the tides. It's all on the IPs.

SPEAKER_07 5:55

Oh, intellectual property. But yeah, yeah, my boy Ezra is all about the semi-glue tides.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

You know, I'm just really And just being an all-around ass. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 6:07

I'm just really glad that guy doesn't do like lazy fat guy shit like do the Walmart uh should the Walmart like scooter shopping cart thing.

SPEAKER_15 6:14

Yeah, the scooters you. Oh god, scooters and shopping carts. That'd be kind of funny.

SPEAKER_14 6:18

Hey, what's the most what's the most fun you've ever had with a shopping cart?

SPEAKER_15 6:22

Sex. Um, sex.

SPEAKER_07 6:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 6:26

Fuck I need to know about this.

SPEAKER_07 6:28

Yeah, yeah. When I was Did you put it back afterwards? Like put it back in the where all the carts go?

SPEAKER_02 6:33

It was like it was when I was in high school and I poured one of my girlfriends in a shopping cart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 6:40

Whoa, I gotta go through the through the grate. It was she liked to she was inside, you were outside? She liked being caged. What is she you kind of just sat on it?

SPEAKER_15 6:50

It looked like Pedro pressing through a plane.

SPEAKER_07 6:53

It was kind of like Yeah, it was kind of like that. That's fucking awesome, dude. Uh dude, he's cracking caged eggs over you, dude.

SPEAKER_13 7:04

Bringing all the fucking groceries, dude.

SPEAKER_10 7:06

I uh I I was uh the most fun I've had in a shopping cart was when I was a wee lad red car at the front, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:15

When your parents left you at the fire the fart.

SPEAKER_14 7:27

That's where I was found!

SPEAKER_10 7:29

Line of the day. Yeah, because I'm uh the flame that burns within me burns like uh burns like the red sun of Krypton. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_14 7:39

Oh fuck. Man, the fun shopping cart, dude. What if dude, I I've gone down hills, I've been fucking I've been fucking I've never been abandoned in one. That was I don't know if you can top abandon being abandoned in a shopping cart.

SPEAKER_10 7:54

I can. You can be abandoned in a you can be abandoned on a scooter. Just like nope, nobody's pushing, just your you put the baby on the scooter and it's just there.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

What about a baby abandoned in a mineshaft? Like they go all the way down the bike and put the baby there.

SPEAKER_14 8:10

I've heard that's oh shit, it's the man of the hour, dude.

SPEAKER_03 8:13

What's the fuck's doing?

SPEAKER_14 8:14

It's the man of the hour, dude. We got Xavier fresh off the fucking Oh no, you're not there.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Come on, Lonnie, what's you got?

SPEAKER_14 8:20

I got it bright, I got it bright, dude. You guys can both be heard on the same mic more than likely. Probably. Yeah. Because the sound is amazing.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

We should eat it like a noodle.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Like a like a long mang. Long mang? Rush hour. Like rush hour. This is like rush hour right here. We should do a rush hour parody. That would be sick, dude. Except I'll do all the black stuff and you do all the Asian stuff. Say it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 8:43

No, that's our tiny man radio.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

And yo, what up, cuz? How you doing? What you doing? How you doing, baby girl? How you doing?

SPEAKER_14 8:51

So yeah, so yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

Dude, rush hour kills, bro.

SPEAKER_14 8:59

Ain't no one ever heard the voice.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

Rush hour has some crazy lines.

SPEAKER_10 9:03

Johnny Town! Bad to me. I heard uh I heard Jackie Shantus owned his lesbian daughter.

SPEAKER_03 9:11

Like for smoking weed or whatever? That's what that's what it was. What do you think?

SPEAKER_10 9:15

It's not a sun eye. I don't think it's sunny.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

No, we're smoking weed.

SPEAKER_14 9:20

How come every time they get famous they ended having one of those, but they I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Let's go down this path. I don't think Jack was one of the things. Someone sacrificed in Hollywood.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

Let's go. They're sacrificing top ten days. How did how did I get here and then I got canceled immediately?

SPEAKER_14 9:39

No. I'm giving this box back to the city. That is what editing's for. So how was your show, man? What'd you think, man? Oh, now you're gonna ask me questions and that's why I'm gonna go to the house.

SPEAKER_07 9:50

I thought that was for those of you guys that have no context. We literally just got done shooting Xavier's special secret Asian man.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

Secret Asian man. Hence the amazing decorations. This is like literally$400 worth of decorations right here. Holy shit. Yeah, dude. The pots themselves.

SPEAKER_14 10:11

Shout out to the beatdraw for just giving us giving them their us their time and leaving money to have this opportunity. Let's do this. Shout out for our Billy, our human fucking tripod tripod right now, dude. You know he's a tripod, dude. Pick it up, bro. We want to slap that thing on the table, bro.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? No, these we got at Goodwill, Bob, to answer your question. I'm sorry. Yeah, we got these at Goodwill. I was figured it'd like an antique store, yeah. Yeah, and we were very surprised that they were even there. They were like right in the front, and we were like, these are perfect for the special. And they were on sale for$200 a pop. And yeah, and then we uh Brendan actually uh he like hit him with like, oh, I'll get you tickets, and if you do$300 for both of them, because I was like$400, two like that's a little too much. You know, maybe I could swing$300 for two of them. You know what I mean? I don't think they came. Oh no, I think she did come actually. Yeah. I think she was someone came. And you got someone. So you got them for$300? Yeah, we got them for$300, and we gave her two tickets, and then I it was like an adrenaline rush. I feel why people are addicted to like finding deals and buying shit like that.

SPEAKER_07 11:26

I was like, Dude, these these vases are awesome, like they're huge. You can fit like nine grandmas in there.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

They're like heavy. They they got some fucking store, bro.

SPEAKER_14 11:39

So many grandmas, dude. Nine. Nine? Depends on it. Maybe you're like 12. Yeah? Okay, depending on like they're probably really fat.

SPEAKER_06 11:51

My grandma was a red. My grandma's not fat.

SPEAKER_14 11:55

Well, that's called that's what we call an outlier. I like a new old. She's called an excess.

SPEAKER_03 12:01

I like how I could see his bar loading when he was trying to figure out what Isaac was saying. Because it made no sense what he was saying.

SPEAKER_14 12:10

In the oven. Fat burns in the oven. I'm sorry. My my it's invalid.

SPEAKER_07 12:15

Yeah, no, no, you gotta pick like a pot roast so you have to cremate it, then yeah. My grandma got cremated and rendered, bro.

SPEAKER_14 12:24

Grandma got cremated by a reindeer. Yeah, it's hard and render.

SPEAKER_05 12:32

Damn.

SPEAKER_07 12:33

Here's what we gotta do real quick, okay? You guys pass your mic to Lonnie, and me and Bob will share this mic, yeah? No, what? Because Lonnie's been saying some heating her.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

He's throwing some heat. That's what I'm talking about. Let's get Lonnie on it. Yeah, let's get it. Get me off the show. Oh, is he taking yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, yeah, you take the counter and she's comes up here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 13:00

That's what, dude. How you been, Bob?

SPEAKER_10 13:04

I've I've been okay, yeah. Just uh preparing for the real world since I'm graduating soon.

SPEAKER_14 13:09

Oh yeah, dude. Graduating soon from uh from what uh for what?

SPEAKER_10 13:12

Um uh I'm getting my BA economics degree from University of Puget Sound. Hell yeah. What do you want to do with that, my friend? I apparently can't do anything because AI's taking all the intellectual jobs.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

God damn. Oh shit. Yeah. God damn. Yeah, like the like the packaging and assembly lines.

SPEAKER_07 13:31

How do you uh how do you feel about AI's feeling your jobs? Like if you saw a robot come up to you right now, like what would you do to the robot?

SPEAKER_10 13:39

I would um I would do nothing and wait for it to make a mistake. That way I can and record it with my phone and show that this isn't the future because it's making this much of a stupid mistake and will likely make that much of a stupid mistake again.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

You should record it with like motion-activated cameras.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

You know, this is actually a really uh interesting because so you think that AI or you're uh is taking intellectual jobs. So like is that like you're considering like data entry? Is that what you're kind of like entry level?

SPEAKER_10 14:09

Maybe I uh I did hear that Duolingo cut half their staff when like the Chinese and everything and started, like yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

When they started. Because like for me, I I from my point of view, I feel like, all right, it looks like the implementation of AI has been a huge cluster fuck. You know? And it seems to have cost a lot of money with not a huge, uh huge and it seems to be pushed really hard, but not there's really what with the results.

SPEAKER_14 14:36

What are you worried about?

SPEAKER_07 14:38

Come on, there's no ROI.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Yeah, there's no scooter tube spots.

SPEAKER_07 14:44

That's a fucking return on investment. Yeah, you're never gonna take a bache away from me.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

I was trying to have a serious conversation with Bob over here, you guys. Alright? No, I'm sorry. That's not me. We are we're talking about AI, dude. Yeah, we're talking about AI.

SPEAKER_14 14:58

You will never be replaced by AI. I promise you.

SPEAKER_10 15:01

Yeah, it's uh you can't really like put this kind of insanity on it.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Oh my god. Well, they're gonna start having problems to make them feel more realistic. Because think about it a robot that's too perfect's gonna creep you out, bro. So eventually they're gonna start programming imperfections into them. That's what I was talking about. And then you're gonna- that's exactly what's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

The computer that wore tennis shoes. Like a black one or a woman one.

SPEAKER_14 15:25

Yes, and they'll have they'll have AI that are for like they'll have knockoff, they'll have brands. Yeah, they'll have knockoff AIs. Yeah, they'll have cheaper AIs, like the like the beautiful ones will be like the Teslas.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

The ones that can read at like a fifth grade level.

SPEAKER_14 15:38

And like the Kirk, they'll have like Kirkland AIs. Yeah, they look I, you know?

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Yeah, but they're and they'll have like Marshall's AIs or Mervin's AIs. No, like like good value, like like best value.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

Yeah, like the store branded AIs.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Yeah, like Walmart AIs, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 15:53

They're really fast, they're ugly, and they got like torn jet torn data. For no reason.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

That's a fucking twos.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

I'd probably get on the are they packing up. Get on here, yeah. Get on get on this motherfucker.

SPEAKER_14 16:11

Oh, we got Ezra and Eddie.

SPEAKER_11 16:13

How are you doing? I'd like to point out that uh we tried to do a podcast earlier today, and neither of these fucks said anything entertaining. So if they don't fucking made anybody laugh at all so far. There was a guy steering the conversation.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

You were steering the conversation, and there were two fucking anchors. Alright. Alright, so you guys wonder what the fuck you're doing on the Kraken Niggs podcast.

SPEAKER_14 16:34

So today I want to do something. We're gonna we don't got cracking. No. We don't fucking, we don't I'm the host, god damn it. I'm hosting. So we got we got a bunch of these nuts, dog. I I'm sorry, man. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07 16:47

But uh Ezra came in swinging. So without swinging, you know, he always leaves a phone. I love that Ezra came in here.

SPEAKER_14 16:52

So oh dude, Ezra Ezra's not in fun, man. I appreciate it. So Ezra. What'd you say? What'd you say?

SPEAKER_07 16:59

Stop hearing yourself. Stop hearing yourself.

SPEAKER_14 17:01

So what I like to do is uh since you all did a show tonight that's pretty apparent to what's going on, you're fine. You you still can be in part of this. So I like to do something where we all take we all take something that we were we were all proud of, right? There was all something you guys are proud of, but there's also something you give fuck you were not happy of. There was something that happened, but there was a joke that you said that you just didn't really you were like fuck is there any kind of things or premises that you've been like that that you're like fuck, I wish that I hit a little harder.

SPEAKER_11 17:31

Can you explain that three more times? No, uh tonight um I was really happy that I made fun of Lonnie. The crowd seemed to respond to that because they didn't like his set.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 17:42

And then uh I'm upset that I uh didn't give more energy at the end during my set. And I'm also upset there was a woman cuddling me earlier and I didn't close. So now I'm doing this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

I thought you were I thought you were gone.

SPEAKER_11 17:58

Sorry, she brought up her husband, and I'm you know, I'm as a great guy, I don't do its things like that.

SPEAKER_15 18:02

Oh, that would have been that would have been uh regrettable. No.

SPEAKER_07 18:08

They already cuddled, it's already cheating.

SPEAKER_11 18:10

You got some cuddle. Yeah, I got some cuddle. Hell yeah. She said I was her favorite comedian. Take that, take that, Christopher Titus. You bitch.

SPEAKER_14 18:23

Thanks for coming in, bro.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Brendan was also on the lineup, so the question could also be.

SPEAKER_14 18:34

Is there anything you wish we just hit a little harder today? Everything.

SPEAKER_07 18:38

Damn right. Yep. Like, but was there a moment that you were proud of today? There you go.

SPEAKER_12 18:44

No. Cool.

SPEAKER_07 18:46

Alright. That's been Brendan Meeks, everybody. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_14 18:49

Brendan Meeks, you're like, you're like, you're like comedy ASMR. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 18:55

You're like comedy AIDS.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

I was uh comedy, I think. I was sort of disappointed in how hard I went at the Mexicans.

SPEAKER_15 19:07

Uh I don't know. I thought your dictator joke was gonna go at the Iraq guy, the Iran guy. My dictator joke? Dictator joke. Oh. I thought it was gonna go at the Iran guy. What's your dictator joke? You mean prime minister? Yeah, that one.

SPEAKER_11 19:21

Oh yeah, I was like, oh I was kidding with my European Prime Minister homie. Damn, I thought that was going to Iraq, didn't I?

SPEAKER_02 19:33

I have told you. There's something there. There's something.

SPEAKER_14 19:39

There was something there. Man. Yeah, dude. It was a cool time. First time out here, man. This place is cool.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

I told my Middle Eastern, I was kicking it with my Middle Eastern world leader homie. I thought, hey man, you you keep fucking with them boys, they don't get you. Then he died. I was like, man, I told you.

SPEAKER_11 20:02

There's a freak nick that's about to happen. Are you guys worried about the freak nick? So I was kicking it with my black daughter.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

They're about to bring in the balloons. I was like, hey, I told you.

SPEAKER_14 20:10

I would love some balloons. That's my that's my daughter's. Doing a on location podcast is pretty dope, man. It's cool getting you guys out of here, dude.

SPEAKER_11 20:18

It's gonna be sick when it gets taken down because it's music.

SPEAKER_14 20:21

This is gonna be episode 20, you know that? Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_07 20:25

This is a special movie.

SPEAKER_14 20:26

On the 20th, episode 20, on the 20th. Yeah. You guys all killed it. Xavier's first time having a special. That's really freaking cool. He's gonna get his dick sucked tonight by a black woman, like you said, in a set, which is fucking dope. Yeah, it's exciting. Congratulations, Xavier, did a great job. Yeah, dude. Congratulations, Xavier.

SPEAKER_07 20:46

Good shit, Xavier. We love you. Yeah, dude. Thank you for having us. A lot of people hate my stinking guts. That was my proudest moment of the night was that we set this tone for him and we got to watch him shine and do his thing.

SPEAKER_14 21:03

Did you guys really think he was gonna kick through the bat?

SPEAKER_07 21:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 21:06

Yeah, I was hoping so I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

Dude, I would have freaked the fuck out. It would have been so crazy.

SPEAKER_11 21:14

Huh? That was Alfred makes my mic. I'm good. You're cutting off my exits, Reggie. I want to hear.

SPEAKER_14 21:22

Oh, so Bob, what about you, man? Like if you could have been on here, right?

SPEAKER_10 21:30

Well, I uh honestly, I like to make every set a work of art. I have like a I like I've I have like this Metallica 97. I never do the same set more than once, but that never means doesn't mean I never use the same joke more than once.

SPEAKER_11 21:43

Bob, do eight minutes right now. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 21:47

Uh you ever notice how as America has progressed as a nation, it just seems to be edging more and more towards just this natural greed. Like these I mean, like there's just like in Europe you can actually. Your shit unattended for five minutes and it won't get stolen. In in America, you leave your shit attended for more than five minutes in in any area, even like the people that like call themselves Els Decent and um you just you're you're screwed. It's gone forever. I uh I actually got my wallet stolen here at some point, I'm pretty sure. Tonight? No, no, no, this was uh a few months ago, yeah. He's doing a second. Yeah, it was uh I mean yeah, it's just it's just one of the craziest things is that like in other places, anytime I would like get hung over and like yeah, just go back to places in Europe, they they would have that shit for me at least once or twice, but yeah, not the case in not the case in America where everybody doesn't want to be a thief until the bills are due. Yeah, it's just like even the most people with the strongest integrity, they're really in a tight spot, and it's just like choosing between being comfortable for a week and doing a crime, it's that. Okay. Okay, um, somebody smells like weed here. Yeah, I appreciate it. Okay, then yeah, I appreciate the opportunity. Uh uh and uh shout out to Nick Moe and everybody. I just shout out to uh Gavin right here for having uh the uh the St. Patty's Day party the other day. Hell yeah, bro. Yeah, she was awesome. Yeah, delightful subshot. Yeah, he's I'm leaving.

SPEAKER_15 23:23

This is gay. That was it going, yeah. I mean, we're gonna have a little bob.

SPEAKER_14 23:28

How's it going? My name is Isaac. Thank you for coming on the podcast podcast. What's your name? My name is Nat. Nat Say that again. Nat Nat? Well hello, Nat. How's it going?

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Good, good. Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_14 23:38

Well, hell yeah, thanks for coming out here and jumping on. So, uh, what what this is the manosphere.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

Yeah. I'm rotating the manosphere. Yeah, I'm orbiting it.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

We finally finally got some energy.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

You wanna check in? Not enough. Less gravity.

SPEAKER_06 23:57

Doing gang signs.

SPEAKER_14 23:59

Oh, dude, wipers and gang signs, dude? Yeah, dude. Like, that's a that's bad, but it's still one. This one's a wipers game.

SPEAKER_10 24:08

You don't wanna hear my uh certain drop? Y'all wanna hear my brain's joke as a right hand? Fuck yeah, I wanna hear you play the joke as a right hand.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

You know what gang signs white people got? They be playing rock, paper, scissors. You ever ask a white guy to make a decision? He wanna play rock, paper, scissors? I say, man, decide!

SPEAKER_10 24:29

Yeah, um okay, what's the difference between a billionaire and a pit bull? What? When a pit bull gets caught eating a baby, you know it's getting lethal injection. Yes! Bob, Bob F. Bob! Yeah, a bit grim right there, but yeah, go on.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

One's owned by black people and one owns black people.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_14 24:53

Is that alright? No, it's good. What the fuck? What's the fuck? What's up, dude?

SPEAKER_01 24:57

Oh uh no, so last time I came to beat drop, I uh took told Charlie ch Charlie Kirk jokes. And then uh the yeah, thank you. And then um, what's his face? I can't remember his name, Tony, Tony P. He like, um he like scolded me on stage. Really? Yeah, he did. Yeah, he's like, it was the best part of his set. Um, and then I didn't come back. I'm so curious about the Charlie Kirk joke. It was pretty, I don't know, it was hacked shit, whatever. I don't really care. It was lame. It was like the day after. It was too early to do it. I think Garrett was there. I think I think it's a really dark thing. We got Garrett.

SPEAKER_06 25:29

What's up, Garrett? Hey, what's up? Uh it wasn't a good joke.

SPEAKER_07 25:33

But uh, but you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take. Yeah, I don't give it, yeah. Agreed. But the person who that person did it.

unknown 25:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:44

Thank you for assist. Yeah. I didn't know if anyone else got it. I was gonna sit here and be weird.

SPEAKER_14 25:51

But yeah, that's why you don't see it. We're doing a Charlie Kirk thing, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:58

Perfect timing. Someone just got killed. Perfect timing.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

Uh someone died. So yeah. This is a new thing. You be driving, nigga? I'd be driving. Dude, the gas prices, man, it's insane.

SPEAKER_15 26:13

Dude, that aren't they going up to like seven fucking dollars. Really?

SPEAKER_02 26:16

It's like uh you seen I Am Legend?

SPEAKER_15 26:18

Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

He drives past a gas station, it says like six dollars. We're like almost there. Uh Babu's here. We got Babu!

SPEAKER_14 26:26

What's up? We got David Babu, dude.

SPEAKER_06 26:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 26:29

So today we're doing a mashup. Dude, you know what? Today you're gonna meet a lot of the comics that are around here, man. We're not doing the normal thing that we normally do, because why the fuck? We got everybody here. Why don't why make it so fucking scripted? We got all these local badasses that have met. I want people to know you guys. I'm getting to know all these new people. David Babu, you're fucking shit. The first time I met you.

SPEAKER_07 26:49

Oh, everybody. Yeah, content on three order.

SPEAKER_14 26:55

Yeah, and Gavin's fucking fun. Appreciate you for jumping on, man. We have to do one show a little time ago. We gotta sit down. Yeah, sure. Normally what we do is we get in and I'll have you guys talk about we'll talk about maybe like what you do for work or get into who. No, we don't need to do that. We don't have to not do that shit today. Because I did that and I found out it's really fucking depressing. We can just ask the questions.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

You keep telling us what to do. Which I'm saying, this is this is the podcast. Let's just do the podcast, man. You guys run on?

SPEAKER_06 27:27

We're showcasing local talent.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

We haven't had a woman on yet. We need a seat right here. We uh we can do the bird number one. Oh, yeah, we did, we did, we did.

SPEAKER_14 27:39

Cut that we probably know. So this is a good idea. So hey.

SPEAKER_09 27:44

A table of somewhat burglar. The only person getting laid at this table is me. What is?

SPEAKER_14 27:50

I like having a chick on Noah. Hi, my name is Isaac.

SPEAKER_09 28:06

I'm Sush Money, I'm the goddess of comedy. Goddess of the comedy.

SPEAKER_14 28:10

Oh, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_09 28:11

Do you do that?

SPEAKER_14 28:14

Yeah. I like that. You like that?

SPEAKER_09 28:16

Yeah, you should come by to my apartment.

SPEAKER_14 28:19

Okay, okay. I don't personally do it. I had uh I had the individual recently on my last episode who does do the tweaker, the tweaker episode. He's funny as shit.

SPEAKER_09 28:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 28:28

We have we have uh we have in future episodes, we'll be doing having him come on location and we'll be doing things in other areas he wants to do.

SPEAKER_05 28:37

He can't come on location.

SPEAKER_14 28:39

Well he has an ankle monitor.

SPEAKER_05 28:42

Coming on location, that really reminds me. Back in 2019, I was sleeping under the I-55 over High Street, Jackson, Mississippi. And I was sleeping under the northbound lane, right? And I woke up in the morning and I look across under the southbound lane, and I cornered my eye, I saw, well, there's a couple over there, and they're making sweet love. So I didn't want to be rude, so I averted my eyes. But I couldn't, I couldn't, you know, ignore it entirely for too much longer. So then I looked over and I realized that's not a couple making sweet love. That's a homeless guy pleasuring himself. And then about five minutes later, I realized that I had just been watching a homeless guy pleasure himself, and I needed to leave.

SPEAKER_09 29:32

The hair is very very telly.

SPEAKER_06 29:39

You have a you you have to I wish I could hear from that side what she just said. I couldn't you can switch sides.

SPEAKER_14 29:50

All the time. Yeah? Yeah. Any any in the last like month then? Oh shit, yeah. You mentioned your neighbors. You just brought me brought that up like ten minutes ago.

SPEAKER_08 30:01

Crack sex? Oh, crack sex?

SPEAKER_14 30:04

Ooh. Yeah. What does it sound like? Nasty. Nasty. Nasty. Nasty.

SPEAKER_09 30:11

Yeah, cracking. Was she getting it though? She, I don't know. It was loud.

SPEAKER_10 30:17

Yeah, were you jealous?

SPEAKER_09 30:18

Was I jealous? A little bit. A little bit. He looked like he was like, I was just like, wow, it is hard out here for a regular person. It was hard out here.

SPEAKER_14 30:28

It is hard out here for a she's she's she's not a regular person and it was really hard for a regular.

SPEAKER_09 30:32

No, she's a crack whore getting cracked.

SPEAKER_14 30:34

Hell yeah, I like that term. Crack a crackhore.

SPEAKER_09 30:37

I don't even know if they wipe the carpet. They probably use the carpet to wipe.

SPEAKER_06 30:41

Wait, hold on. Do you think because I heard this from someone, if you if you do meth or you do there's certain drugs, if you do it and then you piss it out, it's like and you drink it, it's a hundred percent stronger.

unknown 30:56

What?

SPEAKER_05 30:56

Oh shit. Try that with meth. That's a mushroom thing originally.

SPEAKER_09 31:02

There's only one race I can think about that's gonna drink their own piss. Drink it, dude. Who is it? It's a parent at this table.

SPEAKER_12 31:08

Huh?

SPEAKER_09 31:09

Huh?

SPEAKER_14 31:10

I tried my own piss when I was like three. When you were three? It was disgusting.

SPEAKER_09 31:14

Was it when your mommy took your diaper off and you aimed at yourself on accident?

SPEAKER_14 31:18

No, I literally just turned my dick up and sprayed it in my mouth. You don't drink piss on accident. It is never anything. It was disgusting. The accident was a sarcasm. I never wanted piss in my mouth again. Yeah? Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 31:31

Yeah, I I don't have to pee in my mouth to know that I don't want that.

SPEAKER_15 31:35

You can't do this raw harder.

SPEAKER_09 31:37

Yeah?

SPEAKER_15 31:37

Well, it's harder to aim.

SPEAKER_09 31:39

Yeah, it's harder to aim.

SPEAKER_15 31:40

You're gonna get a real good fountain.

SPEAKER_09 31:42

I've got some good Yelp reviews for my aim.

unknown 31:46

Alright.

SPEAKER_05 31:50

So so the squirters. I want to know. Isaac, right? So I want to know are you a Wheaties guy or a cornflakes guy?

SPEAKER_09 31:59

Chicken strips.

SPEAKER_05 32:00

Cornflakes. Cornflakes, that makes sense. So you know why Wheaties was invented, right? Wheaties was invented to win gold medals. You train hard, you win gold medals. Do you know why cornflakes were invented? Because they're so stale and dull and bland that they will prevent you from aspirating. So I believe you're a cornflakes. Are you a cornflakes guy? I'm a cornplex guy. I'm a cornflex. Are you high?

SPEAKER_06 32:32

Mazzy, I didn't want to bring it up, but you look like the type of guy who watches the last dance every morning when he wakes up. The last dance? Yeah, like the Michael Jordan documentary, like just on repeat. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_15 32:46

It's more like cartoons.

SPEAKER_06 32:48

Like I said, I'm looking in your eyes right now, and that makes way more sense. Yeah, I thought you were you looked like a big sports guy, but then I looked in your eyes and I was like, definitely a cartoons guy.

SPEAKER_14 33:00

Hey Laps! I would get a sports with money. So you know you plan a podcast when you go perfect when it's during balloon blow. What are they blowing up over there? It's I think uh birthday or something. I think it's a good one.

SPEAKER_10 33:13

It looks like it's maybe they're like uh celebrating a thousand maybe they're celebrating getting to like a thousand followers and something or ten thousand.

SPEAKER_14 33:21

There is a lot of fucking zeros over there.

SPEAKER_10 33:23

Yeah, baby. Oh, if it's six zeros or more, that means they've gotten to like a million subscribers. The headliner's leaving.

SPEAKER_05 33:30

We got here uh at like four. We love you! Oh, okay. Fucking take it in a box.

SPEAKER_14 33:40

We don't love you yet. Someone got someone got got sex in the bathroom earlier.

SPEAKER_05 33:44

Oh, I heard there was a complaint that someone was sex. Well, there was someone who needed to pee. It was a drunk girl. The drunk girl needed to pee. Who is the drunk girl? With the sparkly. Yes. Yeah. Uh she was upset. She was not the fornicator. Oh no, no, she was upset about the fornicators because she had a urinate. Yes, I assume.

SPEAKER_06 34:07

Can some of y'all help me carry these these pots? I got you. Ooh, that sounds like a good idea.

SPEAKER_14 34:13

That sounds like Billy, we're gonna have Billy follow this pot. Being carried out to the car for the next five minutes while we talk. We gotta return that shit.

SPEAKER_06 34:22

So, yeah, I just wanted to let you know you look super handsome from the other side of the table. A lot less handsome when I was sitting next to you, but okay. Well, we can uh we could play foot to yourself.

SPEAKER_07 34:32

Profile. Sent any nonverbal signals, you didn't have to say it out loud.

SPEAKER_05 34:36

No, guys, I dipped out and I had Denny's games. When you say non-verbal, I'm right here. So you really have Denny's? Yeah, we went and got Denny's. Yeah, I got one biscuit with gravy. I got uh two strips of bacon, even though I ordered sausage, no biggie, I eat food, and I got scrambled eggs, Tabasco the fuck out of that shit.

SPEAKER_07 34:54

Dude, I don't fuck with Tabasco. It's too much vinegar. I like Cholula though. I found the Cholula, but I put it in the city. Dude, the cream Tabasco though is really good. Yeah. Okay. Quick for you guys back at it.

SPEAKER_06 35:06

As a cop. What how do you prefer to hold the microphone? I know one way that I hate that I see people hold it. That's not like I don't like that thing. You've never seen someone talk like this into the mic. No, because that sounds so good. People that do this are definitely cool.

SPEAKER_14 35:25

People that drink their cups like this.

SPEAKER_06 35:28

I don't like doing this either because it's shit. I don't see you do it. You got away with it. You gotta do one hand now because if I do two, I look like Shane. And it's because I let I like Shane. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 35:42

Because he's funny. Yeah, I always uh I always hold the mic in my left hand. I'm right-handed, uh, but I think it's a polite thing to do because I've been in sex school for a lot of my life, and also because like back when I started doing comedy in like 2013, I uh always had a pistol on me. Like 13? Yeah, I took like a I got yeah, I I took like an 11-year break. Did you ever got married and divorced and emacerbated 13,000 times, but then I got back in eventually. But yeah, no, I already had a lot of people. What's your favorite porn start? Uh I don't I don't think I've ever seen any pornography. But I I Gavin defer to Gavin. I don't know any pornographic. What do you mean? What are you drinking off to? Oh, dude, like good shades on the wall, like if you ever like see like a like a like cream.

SPEAKER_14 36:33

Do you masturbate like a woman?

SPEAKER_05 36:36

Uh not on camera, no. Oh. It lights up a Yankee candle. They do.

SPEAKER_07 36:43

I don't know if the ceiling can't go in. Right speed, the right tempo. Yeah. You know, if the vacuum's going, that'll get me going. But but the vacuum though. Because you're hard with the big thing.

SPEAKER_05 36:55

Someone's gonna come in, someone's gonna come into the shitty little bar that we're in in downtown Olympia, and they're gonna come in fucking blazing, just fucking lighting people up, and I'm gonna be like this is gonna go out. Punchline. Punch. You know? So that's when I was 21. I was like, this is gonna happen. Like, I'm gonna have to smoke someone from the stage, finish the joke, and then give it up for your host. That guy's dead.

SPEAKER_06 37:25

I've I meant to ask, what are the at what when did you decide to get MS-13 tattooed across your knuckles?

SPEAKER_04 37:33

Oh, yeah, it's anti-hero skateboards. Oh, really? Yeah. It's a skateboarding thing. It looks like MS 13's. This one is skateboarding. It did from a distance. Oh.

SPEAKER_05 37:45

Is that a monkey eating a banana? Huh?

SPEAKER_14 37:47

That'd be like that'd be clownin'. That's that's like that's like if like if a Jew, like if a Jewish person. I'm not Jewish. Call them Israelis. I'm half Jewish, but I'm not I'm the dad's side, so it's it's give a fuck. But so it doesn't count.

SPEAKER_06 38:01

It doesn't count, yeah, because it the mom has mom gone side.

SPEAKER_14 38:04

I get I get fucked over again. No, but it's like if a Jewish person got a swastika tattoo, a white guy getting an MS-13 tattoo. You know, it just doesn't make sense. Would it be?

SPEAKER_07 38:13

I don't think I don't think you're supposed to quit. Kayleen! We're joined by another comment. Hello.

SPEAKER_09 38:20

I have no idea what's going on.

SPEAKER_05 38:21

Yeah, Kayleen does actually be all unwatchable. Sunny side up sunny side up, hash browns, and toast. What was your last complaint?

SPEAKER_09 38:33

Over easy.

SPEAKER_05 38:34

Over easy.

SPEAKER_09 38:36

Yeah, I'm not, I'm not the sunny side up type of person.

SPEAKER_14 38:40

So you've been doing comedy for how long? Uh a little over three years. There you go. Hell yeah. You did so you've been doing it for a lot longer than me. I've been doing it for just a couple years. A couple years. So it's like dating?

SPEAKER_05 38:58

Probably. Oh, yeah. She said probably. I feel so great right now.

SPEAKER_06 39:03

He said she said probably. I need to like squeeze in here.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Oh.

SPEAKER_06 39:11

Wait, something.

SPEAKER_14 39:12

When did you start doing comedy? Oh fuck. I started doing comedy on a whim a couple years ago.

SPEAKER_06 39:17

On a whim is crazy. Like what date do you know the date? It was in October.

SPEAKER_14 39:22

It was like the first it was like the one of the first open mics of the m of the month. What category are you gonna watch tonight?

SPEAKER_10 39:31

I'm probably not. I gotta be sort of early, but yeah, I saw undertones the other night.

SPEAKER_05 39:35

Oh, don't no spoilers.

SPEAKER_14 39:37

I'm gonna watch this one. What undertones? Yeah, I'm gonna do it. That sounds like interracial to me.

SPEAKER_10 39:44

Um basically. Okay, so the other sort of movie is uh you know when you rewind a song and it says something creepy? Yeah. What if there was actually some merit to that? That's that's kind of like it's kind of like you know what's creepy to me?

SPEAKER_05 40:00

I've always wondered what the fuck happens after we leave the beat drop. And I never would have imagined that it was just a fucking balloon party.

SPEAKER_06 40:09

Dude, I've never seen Brendan's eyes that red. If you ever get a hug, you don't want to get a hug from the body. What does he do?

SPEAKER_14 40:17

Oh, does he pinch your nipples? Brendan every time. Oh, Brendan Brendan. He's a nipple guy? He loves them. Is it because he's not allowed to touch nipples?

unknown 40:27

I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 40:28

Oh, they're making like giant gold chins. They're making a chin! Don't pan. That would be bad.

SPEAKER_05 40:38

I thought Brendan left, but he's walking around, so maybe he's gonna be.

SPEAKER_06 40:42

I'm signing off. Yep.

SPEAKER_14 40:44

Um with this. We're gonna call it a final thought, Bob. No, no, we're gonna do plugs.

SPEAKER_05 40:52

I know the plugs. Yeah, on uh April 3rd, uh at the beat drop here in Lacey. We have a roast battle going on.

SPEAKER_15 41:02

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:03

It's gonna be sweet. You're gonna be on the panel, right?

SPEAKER_07 41:06

Yeah, I'll be judging the whole thing, trying to help roast everyone.

SPEAKER_05 41:10

Are you gonna be dressed as a judge?

SPEAKER_07 41:13

Oh, what is a judge uh judge?

SPEAKER_05 41:16

And like the flag's gabble? Yeah, with the couple. Or you can be drudge tread. So we got that going on.

SPEAKER_10 41:21

From rusty, you'd help you make a hell of a couple.

SPEAKER_05 41:23

Go to Stonegooseproductions.com and you can see all our dates. We got uh April 17th, Lynnette Manning is gonna be here. Kayleen, you're on that show. Are you excited for that show?

SPEAKER_00 41:34

I am really excited for it.

SPEAKER_05 41:37

And uh uh July 4th at the Capitol in Olympia at the Capitol Grounds. Uh I'm gonna be part of a production of uh God Spell. So yeah, we're doing it on the 4th of July. What is it? It's God Spell, the musical. I will be playing Jesus, of course. Yeah. That's fucking sick. So that's gonna be on the Capitol Grounds, right outside of the uh it's gonna be inside actually the legislative uh building. Legislative. Crown of Thorns gonna cover up your hairline? Well no, because he had like a afro and suspenders and shit. So yeah. And it's gonna they don't know about it yet.

SPEAKER_12 42:14

Did they did they did they did they just like cast you like your Jesus? Well, I mean I'm in charge of the whole thing.

SPEAKER_05 42:20

It's pretty much just me at this point in time. So okay, cool. But yeah, it's gonna be make sure you're there at the Capitol on 4th of July. Wait, so it's just you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 42:28

This is like the story of you on the underpass. Yeah. When you thought it was gonna be this whole shebang of just one guy to this. One guy just guy like that.

SPEAKER_05 42:37

So don't miss that one.

SPEAKER_15 42:38

Nice. Hell yeah. Anything you got going on, Gavin?

SPEAKER_07 42:43

Uh well, this pod probably won't be out, but uh next Tuesday, March 24th, I'll be headlining a hot Tuesday, two and a half hours. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_14 42:52

And then um I can't remember what else I got going on, but you with the roast battles. Or not the roast battle, but the time. Yeah, hell yeah. You're at the beat dropping lacey's. And catch me at the catch me at just whatever we do, man, cracking eggs. What's going on, Bob? Anything you got plugged?

SPEAKER_10 43:13

Well, no, well, I gotta add I I'm just uh I I'm gonna be heading out of like the area soon, so I would just like any each shows y'all can fit me in before uh before like the the second week of May. I'd appreciate Aid if I could yeah, be sure done if if possible.

SPEAKER_14 43:27

Oh fuck yeah. Well get you, I want to get people in the actual setting and the actual show so we can act we can get we can get us going. We'll have a lot of fun doing that.

SPEAKER_10 43:39

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm I I want to see your play, but I can't. I I'm I'm leaving in uh mid May. Fuck yeah. Yeah, May 11th.

SPEAKER_14 43:47

And shout out to the chain blowers. That's fucking awesome. I don't want to tell the chain gang, but that's what happened. Thank you for your time, everybody. Fucking appreciate you. What's your name again? Samuel Samuel. You remember that. All right, sign off Pack and Eggs Podcast. We've had a great time. Thanks for getting on everybody from the B D Drop. Have a good night.