Highlands 2 Islands
Two brother-in-laws chewing the fat and sharing their experiences from opposite ends of the UK.
Highlands 2 Islands
Dreams, Greens, & Internet Machines
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This week on Highlands to Islands, Lee and Dale dive headfirst into another catch-up packed with golf meltdowns, mystery lawn mushrooms, homemade pasties, Starlink dreams, and an unexpected Donald Trump appearance… in a dream. From dodgy putting and “career-best” golf scores to arguments about American beer, giant parking spaces, and why wives keep moving things around the kitchen, the brothers-in-law bounce between Island life in the Isles of Scilly and the Highlands. There’s also DIY disasters, harbour gossip, NFL chat, fake birdie footage, and enough real-world problems to make you feel much better about your own week. Grab a pint (or a cuppa), sit back, and enjoy two brothers-in-law trying to outdo each other whilst barely staying on topic.
Welcome to Highlands to Islands. I'm Lee, Chatter Jew from the Highlands. And I'm Dale, living life here on the Isles of City.
SPEAKER_03Each week we'll swap stories from the Highlands to the Islands, local news, DIY disasters, barbecue bragging, goal frustrations and all weird and wonderful stuff that fills our weeks.
SPEAKER_01Basically, it's two brothers in laws having a laugh, trying to one-up each other and bringing you along for the ride.
SPEAKER_03So grab a couple or a pint. And let's jump into today's episode. Dal, what's been happening on the docks this week?
SPEAKER_01Uh we are post-gig weekend, but normally there's a lull. Uh but that lull hasn't really happened. There's been quite a lot happening down there with landing craft movements, um, lots of landing craft running around.
SPEAKER_03We've got the FED, the T and is that for your uh patio, is it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, bringing a driveway, bringing all the blocks. They did. They brought 20 pallets. Christ. Um big old driveway.
SPEAKER_03My my my back's hurting just thinking about that. Sorry, guys.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I don't. Um usual Salonian ceilings, which have been good, and Grime Aretha touch wood has had no issues with uh any any freight uh breakdowns, but no, it's been good, busy week. Um couple of incidents on the key, not not um major or massive, but enough to uh warrant a review of how things are being done down there um with certain people. So it's um drink related? No, not at all.
SPEAKER_03Just just um the mermaid, but it's still going on.
SPEAKER_01No, the pub, pretty sure the pub is finished now, unless they've got some secret evening rave. Um but but good news on that front is the uh the cafe has been um advertised now with um interested parties looking to run the downstairs cafe on the harbour um for over the course of the summer. I think it's eight 18 months um tenancy, so that's uh open for um people to bid for that. So we're we're desperate for that to open, not least the boatmen who need their coffee fixes um and somewhere that they can stand outside and chat and um put the world to rights. So hopefully that is some good news that we'll get the cafe open. Um, but no, it's just been a nice, um pleasurable week with lots going on office-wise. Nice to see some yachts around the islands as well. The weather hasn't been fantastic, if we're honest, this week. We had bit quite a bit of a fresh blow um northerly as well, which all takes a temperature down.
SPEAKER_03And but no, it's um there's just a it must be awful living that far south and having it normally, mate. It must be really cold there. I mean, imagine what it's like up here.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean, honestly, at one point I was almost forced to put a jacket on, and it was you know, it's that's unheard of.
SPEAKER_03But you put the fire on, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_01Oh, fire's been on every day.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, beauty.
SPEAKER_01It hasn't been no, quite quite a nice. Um, I say nice. There's all of the harbour team, they're all busy with their own different areas, and everyone at the end of the week went, Christ, you know, when when's it getting when's this lull? When's this lull that was everyone keeps going on about? And it just hasn't happened. Um, but it's a good sign. It means that there's hopefully lots of people here, lots of tourists. Um, certainly enough to keep us um occupied with. Yeah. Um about you, how's your week been?
SPEAKER_03Uh I was trying to think when you when I we didn't manage to uh uh um do the podcast yesterday. I was trying to work out oh, I think I've had a boring week, but I think I started off fast and then uh just eased off. Um didn't get my uh Friday golf from which annoyed me.
SPEAKER_01Um really?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, someone let me down, and then when I went out, someone did say, Oh, you'll join us, and I then I but I knew the weather was pump, it was uh those northerlies. I think I swung around anyway. It was it was uh I was just like, you know what? I'll uh I made the excuses that to get home or something and left as it's it was blowing a hoodie. I just can't be bothered to practice bleeding, playing uh lynx golf in strong winds. It's just like yeah.
SPEAKER_01You got snow with your northerlies, have you?
SPEAKER_03Uh we didn't, but they did uh further west and north, yeah, they did, yeah. The mountains they did. A little bit of a dump yeah, but um standard for up there. Um, but yeah, um trying to think what we've been doing. Yeah, quite a week at work. Uh oh, that was it, yes. Uh uh came third in my uh golf society monthly game. Oh, a podium position. Exactly, 37 points. Uh excellent. I'm thinking about going pro to be honest now. I thought I'd uh it's a no-brainer, mate.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I'd have a uh acceptance uh or or victory speech ready in the inside pocket, mate.
SPEAKER_03Uh yeah, I've seen it after that come in there. I was uh I was pretty impressed. Uh I only, in fact, the winner cup got 38 and I got 37.
SPEAKER_01So uh Can I just to qualify this? Um third out of how many?
SPEAKER_03Please don't say to me. No, no, no, no. I think it's 20 people there. Um yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've got a standard abuse about handicap, blah blah. I only played just uh below my handicap with 37 points. So uh although in two holes, uh I got two pars, which on there were quite difficult holes, so I ended up with eight points uh on two holes. So uh kind of told you well, in fact, I don't know how to explain stable for to you. You still don't. Do you know what stable you have?
SPEAKER_01How many shots did it take you? Park. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, a par, two pars, but I had two shots uh on each. So when I got there for a par, which would have been two points, because I had two shots, that meant I got there with four points.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, my head's hurting listening to this. I can't do the maths. Um I I went round on Friday with Tim and because every week now we're putting a card in, regardless. Um, and and I've got worse. Um, even even though I deployed a new glove and um new bowls straight out of the packet on the first day. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and the first drive. Oh, I thought this is it. Today's the day. Really? No shit. It was um oh well, I say 53 in total for the nine holes. Um which is yeah, it's pants. But my my handicap's gone up to 31 points something. So yeah. Um, but every week, and I said to is you're only cheating ourselves if we think um, you know, don't don't count that shot or don't worry about that. Yeah, yeah. And and we're not, we we've stopped that. Although we to be fair, we still manage a couple of beers on the sixth screen, yeah. Um and and we we sit there for 10 minutes and then the last three holes are normally pretty pants. Um probably because of the two beers that we have.
SPEAKER_03But um well, there I mean, there is a I mean you are right, but I mean there is an element of I mean, long as you are still enjoying it, but if you do get those kind of tricky, impossible, you know, lies where you're gonna either break your wrist or etc., there is an element of fault as you're not playing the masters, and you know what, if you end up just giving you just moving it slightly out so you can actually hit the ball, um, whilst you are right, and that um that there, you know, if you've got to enjoy the game, so I wouldn't uh beat yourself up too much.
SPEAKER_01I I I I thoroughly enjoyed the game, and I said to Frank, because she I got back, she said who's golf went absolutely crap, you know, it's rubbish. Um so oh, I said no good, you know, enjoy it. I said, No, I loved it. I don't I I love my Friday cat shots with Tim. Um uh and and in between the the crap shots, and I I said this to I saw Neil Jenkins on the the ninth green as we finished, he was just about to head out and he was the same sort of thing. How'd you get how'd you get on? Oh rubbish. But through that rubbish round was some absolutely amazing shots, like some the the three iron, my favourite club, but some peachy shots for that. Everybody has it, it's the same thing. My putting was pants on every hole, but if you could pick the good shots out of whatever hole it was, um the the potential is there to improve. Um because uh when I hit it right, as soon as anybody I'm sure, it is it is awesome. Um I just don't do that often enough, and I don't know how I do it. Yeah, yeah, so but it'll come and and as as as time goes on and as we get a bit more time, once the house is finished and stuff, um I'm hoping to spend more time. So once a week is not enough to uh to make any decent improvement, I think. But it it does I get enjoyment out of it because we go and have a good laugh, but we are keeping to the score and to you know, just to give us a true reflection of where we're at.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you just reminded me what I've been doing. Uh uh cheating. No, no, no, no, no. I uh I've been chat GPT. Did I mention last week?
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, with your uh your technique or how it's going to improve your golf game.
SPEAKER_03Yes, did I mention it last week? Yeah, oh ignore me then. Okay, I thought I keep forgetting has has has it worked though?
SPEAKER_01Have you played this last week?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yeah, yeah. So 37 points uh on uh um uh Sunday.
SPEAKER_02Um I don't think did I play Monday?
SPEAKER_03Um I maybe went out of Anna again because she's been my she's been caddying for me recently uh again. Um now the hips now the hip's fixed, and uh it's quite immune. Well, I may have to stop a caddying to be honest, because I've been uh hitting my driver absolutely melting it. So when I try and go to her saying I need a new driver, she's seen too many good drives. She's gonna be like, Well, I don't think you do.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say, and and although to be fair, some of the footage we saw, um, so that was for a birdie right.
SPEAKER_03Sat there that fact, Jenny, right? So that I don't know what day that was. Um Monday night, yeah. Um I sat there, lovely putting to the uh that the tenth green is connected to is is is right next to the next uh another green uh under the hole, 13th, full yeah, 13th, 14th. Anyway, so she was filming, and for listeners at uh there, she zoomed in. She's I've told her, right, this is a birdie putt, darling, you wouldn't get this on film. Um she sat there and she zooms in a bit too much, and then she's following the ball, and then she gets lost, so she just goes and she goes to the wrong pin. So as the ball drops in an absolute belter. So I'm like, yeah, well, yes.
SPEAKER_01I I you know, hashtag fake news, didn't see it.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. Well, that was it, and I knew you'd say that. And I literally went, Well, he's not gonna believe it, he's just gonna sit there and happen.
SPEAKER_01Uh video evidence was almost there.
SPEAKER_03Uh but conveniently looked away at the moment. It was, and do you know what? And I would say, you know, and you're well within your rights. I would say exactly the same. You know what? I can't argue with it, you're right. How convenient we lost the bit that went down.
SPEAKER_01What made me laugh even more was that she you obviously may have mentioned something to her because she she filmed the next one which went flying past the whole.
SPEAKER_03Oh, don't honestly. Yeah, and she posted that as well. I couldn't believe. I mean, I mean that was disgraceful. I was on the green in two days. I was an absolute monster uh drive. Green onto the a chip onto the well, not a chip, a nine-in onto the green. You know, green's in regulation. I'm completing golf, and I managed to putt it off the green. I walked away with six. I was in tears.
SPEAKER_01Oh, we're talking about you know, I had some good shots on Friday. That the the I was off it was a par five, just off the green for two. Uh, same thing, walked away with six, four, four, four shots to get it in from there.
SPEAKER_03It's a drug though. I think there's loads of memes that will uh back that up. It is just um, yeah, you just you just need one hit, one hit, and then you sit there and you go, Oh, I've completed golf. Yeah, but yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, so uh I don't think else apart from golfing, I'm trying to think. Um but with your third place in the when you say the golf society, that I mean, is that global?
SPEAKER_03No, so what we do, we have a uh um there's a it's like a club, you know, it's just like another club, but it's you're not associated with a uh golf club, you're just a society of people and you go around and then you just um all the if you're a member of a club, you uh you organise people to come to your club, or you or if it's your turn, you ring up a club and say, How much will you charge us for X amount of tea times? Um we want coffee and bacon rolls to start and then a two-course meal afterwards. Um and it comes in at 40 quid, 40 quid ahead, um, uh, which is you know, which I think is a good value. Um, and the society normally uh kind of subs uh will fund five pounds towards it, um, etc. etc. So it's it's good, yeah, it's good. Um, yeah. And you get to play different courses all the time, which is uh um, which is uh kind of one of the bonuses of it. So it's good fun, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. With your with your third place, then um that obviously seems quite high up. What what do you get for your third place? Other other than the esteem of saying, you know, I'll probably I'll probably get a better parking spot on the golden carpet.
SPEAKER_03No, no, nothing like that. So the uh so uh a pack of balls, three balls. Although first place, I think probably years ago. Yeah, I didn't win anything last year. Um you the the it's really good. They've got a every they've got 12 trophies, they're quite nice trophies. So you win a trophy and a bottle of wine when you win it and you keep it for a year. Well, the bottle of wine. It's up to you. Uh but the yeah, very good. Uh but yeah, so and then what what there is is an order of merit. So every you get your seven, I think it's your seven best games go towards the order of merit, uh, and your name goes on the top there, and then there's also a uh knockout competition between the members as well, so that you've got to play, and then at the end of it, um you have a final, which is good, yeah. So it's a bit of it's a nice um Sunday out, uh 12 games in the year, tried to fit once a month. So yeah, it's quite good fun. And the Christmas does a bit of a Christmas do, uh fancy dress and that kind of stuff.
SPEAKER_02So yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, it's always good fun. Yeah, we're looking forward to it. Um I could find a lot of it.
SPEAKER_01Is this is this is this your local club, this one?
SPEAKER_03No, no, no. So this is just so it's not you're not associated to society, sorry.
SPEAKER_01Society, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So it's just um um um, yeah, just various people, anyone could join it. And if you you know, if you you could join it, if you could get here once a month, you could uh plan it. Um I don't think many. I don't think many people would want to fly. Well, they would like to fly down to Silly, but I don't think they can afford to fly down to Silly to play there. No, but yeah, no, so that that's the purpose of it.
SPEAKER_01Um that sounds quite cool, actually. Uh yeah, it is, yeah. I like that idea.
SPEAKER_03No, it's it's very low-key, it's off the yellow T's, the they have a nearest to the pin for the par three, and then because of a selection of age groups, um, from the youth who can bomb you know 300 plus drives to uh your uh um low and steady, kind of straight down the middle guys, uh, they have a nearest to the pin in two, so it's sort of a longest drive. Um, you get uh two go, you know, um two wax and get it as close to the pin as possible, which is it's always good fun. Some of the big hitters will try and get there, we'll almost get there in one, but uh they don't necessarily always win because they mess the second shot up or something like that. So it's yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh okay. I I I'm still on the hunt for this new driver. I I thought the old one was working fine, and but when I played the other day, it was uh rubbish. Um really low for some reason. I don't know, I've no idea what that means in my swing or even how it's teed up. It's the same. But anyway, Fran's been introduced to ping drivers online, and so she's aware. Um fortunately, she was lying down at the time when she was reading it, so I was like, Oh, um itself. What? How much?
SPEAKER_03The great thing is, I have heard, and I mean, I'll wait till my fit-in, but a lot of people, the new ping 440. Uh a few people say, Well, you know, it's not as good as the the the previous one, the 430. So really, yeah. So, you know, I'll wait and see what my uh fitting comes out of uh the couple of weeks.
SPEAKER_01Is that that is that those people whose handicap hasn't dropped as a result of spending so much money on YouTube?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's you know what's a fair point.
SPEAKER_01Clearly, the driver, there's nothing wrong with me. Yes, yeah, uh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03But uh I thought we are doing I thought we are doing after all your talk of uh uh high speed internet. He set me off looking at mine and then doing the whole kind of pricing it all up, etc. etc. Uh, and I've just uh put in for Starlink to get installed installed.
SPEAKER_01Oh, excellent.
SPEAKER_03I'm keen to hear about this because uh yeah, it won't be as fast as yours, mate, because you've got it to the uh you've got fibers to the house, so there's no way we're beating that. But my I I did a few um um speed checks here, and for the amount of money you're paying, it's like 50 odd quid just for the internet here. Um yeah, so it was like well, 35 quid for Starlink. Yeah, you'll be like, right, crack on.
SPEAKER_01That's amazing how much that price has tumbled, though, because it was so expensive initially, and that's you know, it was good, but I mean, um, yeah, it's supposed to be brilliant, and and they've got it on all uh a lot of um workboats here. Um I I think the Salonians got Starlink as well, actually. Um if not then they certainly did. But yeah, um it's it's such a fantastic way of keeping people in touch when they're afloat. And it's it seems to have tumbled in price, and I've seen it advertised a lot now, so there's obviously um, yeah.
SPEAKER_03We'll see. It's faster. Yeah, it's for a hundred megs, it's um uh is it uh the kind of the download speed. Although I was chatting to a neighbour who's got it, he does say you do see a drop uh when the America comes online and everyone over the states is using it, but um um they've put more satellites out now, so I think it's meant to be alright. We'll see, wait and see.
SPEAKER_01They've got about four four million satellites already, haven't they? The coverage, the coverage they've got is phenomenal.
SPEAKER_03Um and uh doing my bit for supporting the uh war against Russia with Ukraine.
SPEAKER_01You know, do doing your bit to support MAGA uh uh uh what do you say about Anna? She's uh is a secret Trump lover for the sense of things.
SPEAKER_03Oh she woke up, she's uh she woke up and she's she was talking about this dream she was on about Donald Trump, and I was just like creased over. Red flag, mate, red flag. Is she dreaming about? I mean, she what you know he in true style. I mean, I'm you know, I'm I'll grow this a little bit. Uh uh while the truth getting away with a uh good dip, but yeah, she was uh she was uh he was in her dream. Uh not that she was dreaming about him, but uh and I was just pissing myself rolling over. I was like, what how the hell? Um you know, as he popped into your dream, um, she wasn't best impressed.
SPEAKER_01I I I can see it now. No, you've got your you're getting Starlink, Anna's all check your Amazon account. There's two red MAGA caps coming its way to Ireland. You'll you'll be you'll be off to Trump's golf course next week. Oh, I just happened to be here. Yeah, yeah, so I didn't put Anna down as a Trump fan, but um live and learn. Or was it a night, was it a nightmare?
SPEAKER_03Or was it well yeah, maybe well, maybe I'm just uh yeah, I didn't really uh uh yes, you're probably right, in fact, yeah. Now I think about it.
SPEAKER_01But uh I can't complain. So Starlight and your Tinter Web, they should be uploading her OnlyFans uh account.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think she was excited about that just to get the uh OnlyFans going on there. She was uh uh weren't best impressed that we mentioned that last week.
SPEAKER_01Well, they they say it's um her and Fran fact checking our podcast and exactly, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh listening to what lies we say. Correct, yeah. All I've had now is uh can you stop talking about me now, please?
SPEAKER_01We've done nothing but talk about and Anna's dreaming having sexual dreams about Trump.
SPEAKER_03Only fancy I mean that's just grown legs there.
SPEAKER_01I mean, yeah. Oh, I think it's it's like Chinese whispers. I mean, you're not allowed to say that anymore, apparently. But um uh yeah, I I heard something and it's just taking another turn. Uh yeah. I still haven't seen pictures of these pasties. I saw pictures of the prep and I and I did push for the crimping photo of the Yeah, that was that was defo AI, that was 100% AI. I was I was gonna say I was sent an image which we didn't even need to look at it.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_01AI.
SPEAKER_03Sir AI. Even I looked at that and went, you didn't do that. Oh well. They were good, they were good. And I've had uh I've only had one for lunch at work at the moment, slightly disappointed. So oh no, sorry, I got one at lunch. Uh I thought and then I went up another one when I went fishing. That's right, yeah, that was good. And I sat there with that gloating thing there where you sit there and you're going, uh you build anything for tea? She's like, Oh, I tea before I went out. I said, Oh, I've just got a lovely, and it was hot as well. Uh rinching for I've just I've just got myself a uh uh uh pasty as I lost another fish. Literally that sat there. I've just hate trout.
SPEAKER_01Blaming blaming your Gordon Strack and flies.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, this is just spinning, yeah. I'd uh fish in for them, yeah. But yeah, less said about that. So you just got four fish come off.
SPEAKER_01I just like no one that got away. So none of them count, so it was just like to be fair, it's not a bad day if you've got homemade pasty, regardless of it. Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_03Do you know what? It's exactly that. It's not a bad day. I mean, you sat there and home made pasty.
SPEAKER_01I was very jealous. The picture came in of the uh I don't know, it looked like in the teens that the number list she was making.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, there were, yeah, yeah. I think we had three there. Freeze is rammed.
SPEAKER_01Uh good. Well, I I need to hopefully Fran's listening to this. You know, you're gonna up your game and get some homemade pasties on the go. Haven't had pasties in ages.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, we hadn't, and that was that conversation. Ted's and I were just sat there and just we mentioned it over a couple of weeks and eventually she broke. Um that's the way forward. Got a it's all about the long game.
SPEAKER_01As uh so you mentioned that as soon as she went off ill. Uh come on, get in the kitchen. But now I hear she's uh she's back in the kitchen with a bang. Uh with uh not only cooking pasties, but kicking you out of the way as well.
SPEAKER_03Honestly. There is one thing about being in that kitchen. Yeah, you sit there giving it, oh, you know, you could do more around the house and blah. If you go in that kitchen, and it's an open, you know, you've been to my house. This is an open plan, so you know, you should be able to wander anywhere. Honestly, you go anywhere near when you're in there, you can get a drink or anything, and it is you're in the way. Well, it's worse than that. You're you know, Satan's spawn is just what what do you mean you want to drink? Why are you always here when I oh god the dog gets it as well, everyone gets it? So I'm just like um stay out of the way.
SPEAKER_01I I got things with Fran is that um so bear in mind we've only been in this house just over a year, um, but already, you know, Fran's repainting places and and pizza bobs. And then I come in the kitchen the other day, and there's like you have to, you know, there are different recycling bins. Where's the recycling bins gone? And they're always next to the the bin, the normal black bin bag bin. I was like, Oh, they're they're now uh in some other place around the corner. I was like, Why are you moving stuff? She's like, I haven't. I was like, You have you know, I'm I'm trained now to go to the bin which is next to the recycling bins and always go back there now, even though I know it's not there. And same sort of thing of you know, changing drawers or moving stuff around. Just like, well, he's getting used to going in there for cups. I'm gonna put the cups in a different cupboard and forget to tell them. So you go in there, you go, oh right, yeah, plates. That's not gonna help. Uh yeah, so I I I I'm sure it's a morley thing. They do it every so often, every now and again, they just have a shift around just to keep us on our toes.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna stay I spent my life just uh looking for stuff where it's been hidden.
SPEAKER_01Um it's always been in this cupboard, you know. No, yeah, no, it hasn't, because I've moved it now. Why did you move it? I didn't like it in there. There's no the there's no decent reason.
SPEAKER_03I know. I might get one of those, uh I could do one of those um what do they call the boards where you have the uh um where you put stuff and then you know where to put it back. Um what they call it, not ghost board. Um yeah, when you've got the paint in the background where something lives. Do you know what I'm talking about? No, ignore me. I remember what it's called. Someone someone come in and uh let us know, please.
SPEAKER_01Um what a mood board.
SPEAKER_03No, it's not a mood board.
SPEAKER_01I don't know what you're on about then.
SPEAKER_03Um it is a you it's a you you have a imagine you've got the tools, it's a toolboard.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03All your tools hanging up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Then behind it, you have the shape of what that tool is.
SPEAKER_01Oh, well, you draw around it. And so, yeah, there's a pair of pliers going there because there's a plier shape with a hammer in it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, there's a name for it. I forgot what it's called. No, and either one of those everyone goes so that you know where things go back, stop people moving stuff. Yeah, I forgot the name of it now, though. Shadow board, that's it, shadow board. Oh god, shadow board, shadow board, that's what it is. Stop stop the clock.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yes, I must got it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, shadow board, yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, Frans were known for that. So I she would should move stuff and not tell me and and sort of waiting for me to go to the place where something's always been, and then say, Why's this moved? Oh, it's been like that for ages. It hasn't.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01I managed to get a bit of um clearing out in the garden, the garden, the gar garage last week as well. Some more boards going up on the walls. Um, nice. So I mentioned about the loft last week, so that was done. Some more boarding done up in the garage. Garage is looking lovely and clear now, although um I've had to put the lawnmower in there until we get a shed. Um so we cut the grass today. We, I cut the grass today for the first time, um, which has come out a treat. And the the um I didn't realise the lawnmower was um Fanny Nana's grandmother's.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I don't um I mean you can tell well the box that it came in, I think I told you last week had disintegrated and there was a mummified rat in it as well. Um and I put it together somehow, and it still works, it works a treat. And I think the instructions are you your first cut, you have it on the highest setting you can have. So don't want to cut the grass too short. So I've done that. Fell very proud of myself. When I finished, I put it all away and I was rolling the on on the wheels, they're almost like sprung, spring loaded, the front wheels and the back wheels, and they go into little slots at different heights. So that's how you raise and lower it. Oh yeah. And as I as I was wheeling it down the patio back towards the garage, I was like, oh, that looks a bit funny. So the front wheel is on the highest setting on the front right, but on the lowest setting on the front left. So it's on the best. Oh no. So I've cut the grass at sort of I don't know, 30 degrees on one side. It's like, oh yeah, it's meant to look like that. But can you notice it, can you? No, no, you can't, because it's still quite lengthy, but um it wasn't until after I'd finished, and I'd gone across it one way, then across the other way, and then I realized that the the wheels were wrong. I was like, oh shit. But it's had its first cut, and then it rained, but I haven't had rain in weeks since we laid that lawn. I think it's rained once. So every night I've been out there proper, um you know, helping look after my lawn. Nobody dares stand on it, or the dog gets kicked off it. Although I was cutting it today and I turned around to find the dog with a a whole agapanthus plant and her mouth ripped it out from where Fran had planted it. So she was in in the uh quite literally dog after you say and and uh um but so I don't know. I need to go back and find it was ages ago that I Googled it all how to look after your lawn, when I should do the next cut, or whether I should carry on water in it every night. But it it becomes a full-time thing, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_03Mate, uh exactly. I forgot what I said. If you want a decent lawn, you've got to either throw money at it or time or both.
SPEAKER_01Um well got me so we got the sprinkler, um, because I was fed up at doing the hose thing. Yep. Of course, the sprinkler doesn't cover the full area, so it's like there's 10% of me on the uh the golf course. Oh Dale, you and your first world problems, eh? It's like I had to keep going out to move the sprinkler every so often. So I I said I might as well just stand out there with a hose because it's the I can't do anything else when the sprinkler's on.
SPEAKER_03Nah, I know what you mean, yeah. So be committed then, but real world problems.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it is right, yeah. But the the lawn is looking good, and by the time you get here, I've already established a little chipping zone um uh and a and a little mat.
SPEAKER_03So I'll have the uh I was go I was googling uh uh driving nets earlier on.
SPEAKER_01Do you know what I hadn't even thought of that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I was thinking that, but then I thought you'll have to put a mat down on top of the grass, and I've you know, as is uh as is nice, but it's not a nut neck. Uh and I've you know, like you know, and you think you'd have to pick it up every time because you can't leave it on there. And I thought, I wonder if I could stick one on the the uh um on the deck in and just sit there. Um yeah, I haven't given up on the idea yet. I don't I haven't informed Anna on this uh on a golf net, but uh yeah, because I've got I've kind of got space, you know, if it all went wrong and the ball shot through, I'd aim it safe um away from uh uh the population. But uh yeah, yeah, I'm thinking it'd be nice.
SPEAKER_01I just say screw the net, mate, just whack him over the end of the field.
SPEAKER_03Well a neighbor, there's a neighbour around the corner he does it. He's he's got uh he just chips and went on the far, he's got the farm that's him, he just sits there and just uh uh sits there at uh um seven-iron um play from his house to the end of the field and then picks them up and he walks back the other way. You case you see a couple of spare balls knocking around when you're in your when you're walking wandering around. It's quite funny.
SPEAKER_01Pro V1s, are they?
SPEAKER_03No, they're not no, he's not using exactly that. He's not using uh uh uh pro v1s when he's doing that. No.
SPEAKER_01No, I I hadn't even thought of that idea. I'm gonna spend a bit of time looking into that. Golf net, that's a good idea.
SPEAKER_03The thing is, the problem is you have to put hit it off a mat, uh, or else you really would screw up your um um golf.
SPEAKER_01No, that's all right. I mean you're only gonna be out there an hour at a time or something.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, long as you yeah, you're right. Long as you just put it down and yeah, correct, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um I'd I'd be happy with that. Um or even, oh, you could even make a little I mean you could do it on yours as well. You could you could make a little elevated, you know, like the uh the the the basin that the um the fourth hole on the Alzacilli Golf course where you go across the signature hole. They've got that little square sort of mat. Um you could make that size out of deck in, so just literally like a half a foot up off the off the deck and a little square um uh drive-in mat, if you like. Yeah. And then you could uh you could have that and just make it permanent. And it could also double up as a uh a stand for you practicing your victory speeches at the Golf Society. Get some sort of lect lecton and microphone there.
SPEAKER_03No, don't worry, I'll just I'll just get chat GBT's uh to knock me up one.
SPEAKER_01I like how stunned as I am.
SPEAKER_03I've always got a bit of bread in my uh pocket.
SPEAKER_01Uh, this is for the toast.
SPEAKER_03Oh, sorry, but I'm just thank you very much.
SPEAKER_01Oh, here all week.
SPEAKER_03Classic. Ready for at any stage.
SPEAKER_01I was turning up my uh my lawn, I just seen it because I wrote this down. I got fucking mushrooms and weeds um piling up through it already. Really? Yeah, I was I'm gonna have to spend a bit more time googling how I uh get rid of them like um directly with um whether it's weed killer, spot weed somewhere. Yeah, there's a load of load of mushrooms in various patches around and Fran said it's because I've over watered it.
SPEAKER_03What did Chat GPT say about that?
SPEAKER_01I I haven't I haven't had time to to check it out yet. I was just uh when I cut it today and I was looking at them going, I need to sort this out because otherwise it could have I've seen it on the golf course as well, actually. Just random patches of um mushrooms sprout out of nowhere. Um some of the fairways, but yeah, yeah, it's a bit weird. Um I've uh I've ordered some stick I ordered them last week actually after the podcast last week, but um I ordered some new stickers, but I did get the wonderful email to say that they are there was one that's saying they were in production, but which makes it sound a bit uh bit um fancy in production and then uh they've been dispatched. So I should get them in about a month's time. But but the annoying more annoying thing is that I ordered um last Saturday I got an email from a wine lot wherewith that says um your your wine has been delivered, and I was like, Oh has it? Lovely, and here we are over a week later, still no sign of said wine. I've phoned the the local haulage company and they're like, Nope, we haven't got it, so I need to go back. And I left um this wine company before because they cocked up orders, and it was the Christmas order they cocked up, and it really Oh, it was naked wines, is it? Yeah, really paid me off, and then I've I've sort of crept back to them because they don't quite like some of the wines you do. So uh so first order back, and here we are sort of a week later after being told it's been delivered. And I get I get that we're we're on an island, so I and when I phoned um island carriers, I said I got it on Saturday, so I thought it would be on Monday or Wednesday's boat. So the boat comes on a Monday night, discharges Tuesday, a Wednesday night discharges Thursday. So I phoned them on Friday saying that it hasn't been on Monday or Wednesday's boat, and they said, I'll give it to you know, we haven't got it, but it might be on Friday's boat. Yeah, here we are today, Saturday night, still not been delivered. That's really pee me off now. So I want to phone them on Monday, so I don't want to email them, just phone them and say that's it, I'm leaving, I'm out. Um give me money back, yeah. Give me my money back or another box of wine.
SPEAKER_03The problem is, I suppose, for them is the uh the couriers they use it, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01It is, but they are a very well-known courier around the UK. Um it's the courier that has said it's been delivered, but it's not. It's it uh I've some insider information through the people who deal with transport here is saying that it's at their depot in Cornwall. So that's they're telling me and Naked Wines it's been delivered, and it's a bit of a white lie.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And annoy uh it's more annoying because it's the second time it's happened. So real world problems again.
SPEAKER_03It is, yeah, it's funny. Because after you chat about that, I then went on, I must have had it going on, and uh and I was extremely happy because I had a six rose deal going on, so I thought I'll keep her up here and smash six uh rose. I then uh uh topped it up with some uh a couple of reds and whites that I like. Um again, first world problems. I meant to look today, in fact, is a I need a new wine rack. One is full up, but two, some of the bottles, the shapes and sizes, don't fit in my wine rack. Um, and this happens quite big, bigger bottles, yeah, uh different shapes. Anyway, I transpired. So I filled up the wine rack downstairs and then uh I went, Oh, just put those ones underneath there in the larder type thing. She said, Oh, there's already four bottles down there. And I went, Oh, this is some good collection I've got going here. So I am prepping for you at Christmas because uh there's there's the wine that's hidden underneath there, along with some whiskey that's hidden under, and then in the garage, I've got a load more uh big bottles that I just can't uh put into my wine rack so that they're hiding and growing up there as well. So it's uh yeah, it's all going.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I'm hoping to uh um have a varied selection when we get up there at Christmas than um but you'd be using a different uh supplier, so that'd be fine by that stage. But I I'm I'm more worried now when you arrive here in the summer, it's like a better order now.
SPEAKER_03Um I mean, in fairness, I don't mind co-op wine, so uh um you can't go wrong with co-op wine, really. So there's always always a good uh selection.
SPEAKER_01So normally when me and Tim playing a Friday, I I take a couple of beers each. Um and then normally uh that brew dog selection.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And the co-op, and they do this with stuff, they've done it with loads of things, not just uh alcohol, but you know, any sort of food stuff, sort of chocolate or something, you know, something that's really popular. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna stop stocking that now. It's it's popular. So the brew dog uh beers were always not always sold out, but you know, you as soon as they were in there in a case of I think it was a case of eight, yeah, ten, um you go in there and pick them up, like, yeah, every week. And the they say it behind the desk, these are really popular, and these are really popular. Went in there this week. Where's I said I haven't seen these for a while. Where where's the the boxes of um brew dog? Oh, we stops stop stocking them. I said, You're fucking joking, are you just it what do you mean it's popular? But they the brew dog have they've got some brew dog lager, and I was gonna bring one up as we're talking tonight. I've got I've put them in the fridge yesterday, so it should be lovely and chilled. I'm gonna have one of them tonight and see what they're like.
SPEAKER_03Um yes, then I know what you're gonna mean. Yeah, not not the um it just says cold clear on it or something, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Cold cold lager, 3.4%, so nothing too, nothing spicy at all.
SPEAKER_03Um I'm a I'm a big fan of the uh wingman. I've just finished uh uh wingman uh myself.
SPEAKER_01But what we liked was the it was like um you remember the variety pack you used to get of uh of um yeah cereals, yeah. But for adults, so you'd have wingman or elvis juice or something like that.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. Um they're good. Um yeah, it's probably one of those things again you just probably need to think ahead and just start um stocking lots of it, yeah, stocking it up from somewhere else. Um there is nowhere else.
SPEAKER_01It's it's the co-op or or no online.
SPEAKER_03I mean, like you know, just uh same again, buy a couple of cases.
SPEAKER_01Um you can't, it takes three months to deliver.
SPEAKER_03Worth I'm saying, just order ahead. So get amongst it.
SPEAKER_01Uh just that's it's a frustration. It's there's there's a few very few downsides to living in the aisles of silly, but that that is one of them. You go in the co-op, you think I'll just grab a whatever it is, a couple of rude dogs, but nothing there, and you think, well, that's it. That is the options uh exhausted. I am looking forward to uh uh at the States when I go to 7-Eleven and just uh those bottles of beer that they have in uh Boys to Men or whatever boys in the Hood.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yes, eight balls.
SPEAKER_01I want to see a picture of you in sliders, white socks, long shorts, uh NWA baseball cap and a white t-shirt and a bottle uh an eight ball. Yeah, that's your holiday photo, right there.
SPEAKER_03It is, yeah, yeah. Well, I'd I'd have to be careful of that, I think.
SPEAKER_01Uh and and and a red hanky hanging out your back pocket.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'd have to I might have to be very careful of that from some of the things I have heard.
SPEAKER_01So uh but at least if you you you should be able to get, you know, you'll have some uh I don't get uh American chocolate's shocking. Other than um what's the Reese's MM's um MMs are good? M's, but the the Reese's the peanut butter and chocolate.
SPEAKER_03Um I don't get one of those. Uh and the bread, the bread is rubbish as well. They don't do bread. And cheese, cheese is cheese. Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't mind American cheese and burger.
SPEAKER_01Can we can we write can we start a list here of crap American things? Um American cheese, crap.
SPEAKER_03It wouldn't say no, no, no. Well, it it's good but when it's used right. If you have a cheese, if you're yeah, if you have a cheese and wine night, crap.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um American bread crap. But you have to go to uh Moster Place um is a lovely posh uh bread because of pea. Um oh there would come to me. There's a there is uh not Pedro's um is it there is a lovely uh um expensive uh bread place, but the rest of the bread you buy in the supermarket is rubbish. Yeah, good. Next um beer uh American milk. Milk um it's too too confusing. It's okay, you just gotta work out what you need when you want semi-skimmed. Um percent, isn't it? But uh beer. See, I don't mind, and everyone goes on about American beer, or it's all pissed, but I I I I I I don't mind it. I don't want strong beer anyway. So if you know if I'm on um uh cause light or something, or uh it's easy, easy drinking.
SPEAKER_01I think well, the problem with American beer, so you think classic and Budweiser that and and that does give me a headache, and it's not because I've I've drunk too much, it's it's genuinely no. I see it it does, it it it it's whether it's whatever it's made with, that that Heineken uh that's not American, but that that also gives me a headache when I drink that.
SPEAKER_03Um so you can't blame American beer then if you're saying Heineken is you know European beer there, uh American beer is and they comes in metal uh containers. So when you're playing golf, uh I'm trying to think it wasn't so much uh wasn't bud. Um cause, yeah. They're in these metal um, they're not tins, they're like screw lids, they're brilliant for golf. You can just sit there and chuck them in there, and it's because it's hot, it's ice cold. You know what? You can't knock an ice cold beer.
SPEAKER_01No, no, you can't, fair play, but it has to be a nice beer. And so so something like a cold uh yeah, some of the American beers I don't I really don't like. Um, but the Americ the American um sizing system that really winds me up, you know, gallons, quarts. Um, you know, they they just why why do they make things so complicated? They'll measure everything, you know, uh in a weird way that that doesn't fit the rest of the world.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, although I'm not sure uh if we can uh speak for that because we we go miles per hour and we're driving, but then we want everything in meters, so uh we're pretty much uh pretty unique.
SPEAKER_01But they no, we we are, but we but they refuse to use the metric system, you know. They're still you know, three sixteenths uh and four foot six, you know, maybe just yeah, I'm not I'm not sure if we're in a position to get uh uh some of our stuff here.
SPEAKER_03And they can't spell in fairness, though they can't spell.
SPEAKER_01Uh well, I I won't shout too loudly about that, but yeah, you're right, yeah. But but they they yeah, if they use the metric system and they could still mention feet and inches as as as Brits do, you know. Um they just refuse it.
SPEAKER_03I'm not sure if we're anything on this.
SPEAKER_01Uh the red the rest of the world measures everything in you know, logical units of ten, except the Americans. Feet, pounds, cups. What the fuck's a cup? A cup of milk, a cup of rice.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, cup cup cups annoys me because I I watch a lot of American uh recipes and I have to Google it. Uh what's that in grams? Um, but yeah. Going in, anything else?
SPEAKER_01Um advertising everything. Well no, you can't watch anything in America without and that and it just cuts to adverts. Even sports, as you n well know through NFL, so there's gonna be a there's gonna be a fifteen second delay. Quick, and here's the latest commercial about summer.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. If you want capitalism, that's what it's all about, mate. Um it's coming into rugby, so
SPEAKER_01It's not good. Um tipping. Um that that or I'll tell you what annoys maybe not so much the tipping. Because I don't mind doing that, but you it's almost you have to do it even if you've had shit service. Because normally you leave a tip. You go tell you what, that was really good.
SPEAKER_03That was probably down to you because you're too scared not to uh give it a but but but tipping, but then also tax.
SPEAKER_01Why can't they put the price on their clothes that includes the tax that you're gonna have to pay for it?
SPEAKER_03I mean, that would become down to simple advertising, mate. They they'll say, Well, you know, that's not our fault that the this um state charges this, so uh it costs them.
SPEAKER_01You go into um as you're going to um as they got my uh that uh Christmas cat suit and tie uh to Walmart. Excellent. That's a hefty ten dollars that uh oh no plus tax. You know, what just how much mate? Just put there's a fucking post that says ten dollars. Oh, yeah, you've got to add tax on.
SPEAKER_03And as non-American, you can probably blame Costco doing that as well when I'm sat there giving it. Uh um I do find that frustrating. No, well I think it's it's simple. That's just good advertising, mate. I'll get a bargain here. Look at that, and then you think, damn it, I pay tax, I pay that. Damn you that. Um it's a bit one, it's a bit one-sided, mate. You've got you have gone down the route of everything against. I mean, you know.
SPEAKER_01Well, no, I just said a list of stuff that's pants in America, things that I find frustrating about Americans. Um, that I we went, I mean, I I it sound believe it or not, I love America. I and I've been on holiday there a few times now. Um, I'd go I've I've said to Fran before, I'll go back in a heartbeat. I really genuinely like it. I like a lot of things like that in October. Oh, I'd love to. I'd love to. Um, I I genuinely love going to America. There's a lot of good things in there, but every time we've been there, and it's only because of where we were, and it was like Disney World and that sort of place. After a couple of days, I just want some vegetables. And I never thought I'd ever say that in my life.
SPEAKER_03I thought but then you go in public so you get a nice uh uh yeah, yeah, you've just got to know what you're doing out there. It's just it's different. Or you or you eat uh um chibalty's where chibaltis. Never heard about that's good that yeah, so you get your uh burrito there and you get loads of uh uh veg in there. Um there you go, mate, it's inside a tip there.
SPEAKER_01I never quite I I I'm also a bit wary as well of some American food, even you know, when you see the I and and because we're probably hidden from it here in the in the UK, but the you know the the American chicken or the yeah, yeah, you're right, the chicken wings and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_03You just don't ask too many questions.
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah, don't ask because you won't eat it, sort of thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, the antibiotics and stuff that are used in that to um anyway.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we could have another list of ten good things about America, and and I I I love the cars there, love the trucks, the cars, the the pickups, yeah. And do you know even better than the cars? The parking bays, the fucking the you none of this sort of trying to scrape yourself out the side of the car, uh in our crappy car parks because they're so narrow and so thin. Um big American car parks.
SPEAKER_03Um I do like as well is that all the all the cars in there is uh when you're looking for your car, you just press the button that beeps at you.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_03When you're looking for it, you just hip beep beep. Ah, yes, I love that. I'm sitting there occasionally. Where's my car?
SPEAKER_01Um it's very clever. Um, I say very clever. I don't know why we don't have something like that on all the cars here. It's such a good um add-on that all the cars.
SPEAKER_03And whilst car is king over there, which you know some people agree or disagree, but it but it is, it makes sense when you're there. If you need a cash point, why am I getting out of my car? I'll just drive it in.
SPEAKER_01Drive-through, drive-through for everything.
SPEAKER_03Everything they literally have a drive-through for everything.
SPEAKER_01I tell you what, I never ever got though was um uh the gas stations. I I never quite understood them. Um, and the prepay on your card sort of thing.
SPEAKER_03Or they're a bit slow on chip and pin.
SPEAKER_01They were haven't got chip and pin though. Remember, one place had ye old a one that goes across and back over some triplicate paper, and I was like, what the hell's that? Yeah, um, even on silly, we're further ahead than them. Um, and we still use checks.
SPEAKER_03Uh um, come on, what other great things are there?
SPEAKER_01Um I think American people, uh genuinely lovely.
SPEAKER_03Entertainment, I find, right, when you go to an event or museum or ever, it's far more it's designed for entertainment.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, the service levels are a lot higher, they're customer service levels.
SPEAKER_03Exceptional. Um and you won't like this one because uh, but I find the NFL, the entertainment of it, once you understand it and you understand that you're there to be entertained, there is entertainment there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I is is that the um pom pom girls?
SPEAKER_03No, just the nature of it all, the you know, the the flypath, etc. I'm unaware of these. Uh who are these pom-poms uh that you're talking? This is uh something I don't understand. Um there's some athletes there, if that's what you're talking about. There's athletes that are doing athletic uh manoeuvres, gymnastics with pom-poms, we're pom-poms, yes.
SPEAKER_01But um no, you're right. And and um I mean, probably more so since you've been talking about it. I I started watching more NFL just to see how your team was doing or um however whatever team I ended up looking at.
SPEAKER_03Um have you have you got a team yet for next year?
SPEAKER_01I I did, and um I've already forgotten my teams now. It was dolphins, yeah. It was more yeah, it was, yeah. You got dolphins in the book. Cool, okay. Happy to stick with them. I think they stick with us. They came good second half, maybe well, last quarter of the season.
SPEAKER_03So I haven't yeah, yeah, when they were when they weren't there yet.
SPEAKER_01Because original early start of the season, they were shocking.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm not sure what I haven't seen what they'd done. They must have been had a good shout on the draft as well. I haven't been uh uh looking at but uh oh uh uh my quarterback, QB1. Um, he's had his haircut.
SPEAKER_01Oh, he was on some stuff I was watching the other day about him casually throwing like 80-yard passes up uh in training. It's like and it's still at his haircut.
SPEAKER_03He says his haircut, mate. He says haircut because someone told him he's never won the uh no one's ever won the uh Super Bowl with log air. So he's had this kind of emo cut, don't like it. I was like, what's I'm gonna short back inside? That's just probably me and my age.
SPEAKER_01Uh I'm that's I I I don't know what haircut is anymore. I obviously haven't well, yeah. I don't know what you're talking about, Barbara. Or what?
SPEAKER_03Uh yes, but uh no. What's on tonight? You got but you got pasties tonight? It's the pasties on look at the word pasty then. You look at pizzas coming in.
SPEAKER_01Oh I'd love to have homemade pasties. Now we're um Russ's pizzas tonight. So I you might have marked it.
SPEAKER_03Is he open? Have you checked it open this time?
SPEAKER_01No, he's not here, but I have double checked. Um Corey is on cooking duties tonight then in the galley, so I've already messaged him. Um, and he he wasn't I popped in there, but he wasn't in. He was out watching Man City FA Cup final, which I believe Man City have won. Man City won, yeah. Um so he'll be happy. Celtic one. Oh don't honestly just got I'd come in and I'd I'd watched I'd switched it on just so it was in the background so I could see it from outside or from in the kitchen, and then it was nil-nil, so brilliant turned round, hearts are gone one-nil up, and I you know, I I support Rangers when I grew up, but I was jumping for oh screaming, yes. Uh seconds later, Celtic get a dodgy, dodgy penalty.
SPEAKER_03Mate, honestly, they've been does that's two games now that had uh dodgy penalties.
SPEAKER_01Last last game, I there was no way that was a penalty, but there's gonna be some scandal. But yeah, um fair play. I think hearts can can definitely go out on a high this and they they should have won it. Yeah, the the league that is. Um I I feel gutted for them, but um I hope they they they have another go at it next year. I'd love to see another team out of the the old firm win it, yeah. Even if it was Motherwell, Aberdeen, Hearts, um not Hebs. Uh but but um no, I I I generally gutted for Hearts, they've they've done so well this year, but um they're gonna have to start from scratch again. It's just never mind, not a lot we can do about that. Go again next year, as they say. Exactly. Uh well uh sorry, what was I saying? Uh we're gonna have a film tonight. So we finished watching rewatching all of Line of Duty where the um what'd you call them? Now we're sucking diesel, um, the chief superintendent Hastings and all that. Uh we finished that last night, so we're gonna watch a proper film tonight. Any recommendations?
SPEAKER_03None at all. Uh we're currently and they're still trying to complete um whatever that um hospital thing was.
SPEAKER_01Uh oh yeah, yeah. Not house. Um I know it's the one that uh George Clooney was in.
SPEAKER_03George Clooney one. Yeah, um, so I've been uh well she's been sat on that. I've been well the golf's on, so I've been watching PGA tonight, probably. Um I've been watching that as well, actually. Or but of Ferdy Rock. Um that's got on Netflix, so I've been slowly getting myself relaxed. What's that one? Firdy Rock. Oh, I've not heard of it. Yeah, he must have seen Fairy Rock, yeah. Fairy Rock. 30 Rock. Oh 30 Rock, sorry. Yeah. No. You're now a little more on there. This uh scroll.
SPEAKER_01Oh, is it oh okay, I've probably seen some of them. Yeah, you would have, yeah. We're we're gonna spend all night looking for a film and then go to bed uh before finding one. So um and then a quiet Sunday. Harry's on Army Cadet camp, so there's nobody here. It's weird. Um it's a little bit frustrating because it means I need to take the dog out last thing at night, and Harry's always done that. So um he is in Cornwall somewhere, St. Morgan, I think. Oh yeah. The the old RAF St. Morgan. It's oh mate, it's still RF. Well, it's still RAF St. Morgan, but it's not uh, you know, there's no B1 bombers there, I I don't think. Um Harry will be able to tell me on that, but he's he's there for the weekend back on Monday. Um, Ellen is still away at college. Uh started her A levels the other week, I think I mentioned, so she's still going through them. And Fraser's still up in Glasgow, having moved into a new flat. Yeah, I saw that, yeah, new flat in the city centre, yeah. Um but he's also in mid-exam mode at the moment. Uh but other than that, me and Fran are stuck here home alone. Um and of course, uh having to still get up early with a dog, real world problems again. But um I'm hoping for a lie-in tomorrow on a Sunday, because this morning didn't happen. Um so banking on tomorrow, Fran getting up and doing the dog and bringing me a cup of tea, hopefully. Chances of that happening, do you think?
SPEAKER_03I mean, you purposely said that, so when she's uh fact checking the podcast, she gets a text of no chance of that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, she so although she didn't she did mention about the um she was she was she was disappointed to think that you you you think she does everything Q uh through um AI uh with her what was Anna sent it was a picture of you lying next to that massive tree. What was that tree by the way? That was huge. I I wasn't sure if that was real, but it was massive.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's what's the old American uh I thought the name of those bigger. Well the red wood, yeah, not redwood, it's another uh type of that.
SPEAKER_01But uh it's huge, yeah. Uh so my response if she asked for captions, and I thought my response was the best with I got wood, but um but and Fran wrote War and Peace on it, and it generally was her sat there typing. I said, What are you typing? She's like, Oh, hang on, hang on, you'll see. Um and a nice cream tea there, I see. Is that is that a I'm looking at the picture, sorry, if I'm doing listening, of your scon. It looks like a um wholemeal scone.
SPEAKER_03No, you you are you haven't zoomed in. No, it was lovely. It was a it was a date and banana scone. Huge nice. You're only seeing half it there. I obviously put it it's not clotted on there. The Scottish don't do clotted, uh, but I obviously done it a Cornish way, mainly to wind up, Frank, because I knew I'd get a bite out of the lot you straight away. Uh but it was honestly, it was it was beautiful, it was a thing of beauty. We've actually put them on there. Yeah, you just the pair of you lot, which is a bit touchy today, to be honest, on the on the uh family WhatsApp uh family uh messenger.
SPEAKER_01Luscious green that you kept inflating everybody.
SPEAKER_03Uh iPhone there, boom, we'll just got a bite out of you then straight away. Fram was sat there. I'm just like, can you not calm down? Gold.
SPEAKER_01If you're not if you're not gonna if you if you're gonna look for my greener than green green, uh honestly, it's uh it's a thing to behold, mate. Yeah, and and you'll see it soon enough. It's uh exactly, yeah. I'm not sure where that sits on the Dulux palette, but it's it's a new green, I think. I've created out there.
SPEAKER_03It's uh it's almost a mint green, it's up there. It's coming on the garden, it's looking nice, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Mixed with mushrooms and weeds. Um, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, yeah, I can see where the dogs peed as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you can see the dog in the foot as well, the little bugger. Well, the the the rule of Agapanther plants um is one less now that's since she ripped it out. The Fran was raging, the dog's on uh thin ice now. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, literally. But um well, she went swimming today for the first time as well. Um, done a proper doggy paddle, but um one of those ones that looks like she's about to drown, like she doesn't quite know how to do that. But the she's quite high up out of the water, Fran said, and it's a good way of describing it. A lot of heads trying to keep really high, so she's sort of stomping. Probably like Anna goes up the stairs, you know. And it was it was quite funny to watch, but she um she didn't want to come out of the water after that. Oh right. She's like, no. Um and she was shaking, shivering, the classic blue lips sort of thing. No, I'm not called I'm not cold. Bloody spaniels. Don't get one of them.
SPEAKER_03Well yeah, it's on the list. We're basically putting uh luckily Molly doesn't listen to the podcast. I think she's actually deaf. Uh but yeah, it's on the list.
SPEAKER_01Poor old Molly.
SPEAKER_03We've kind of got a um a dog selection. I think next time we're getting two dogs. She's Anna wants a black lab and I want a um a work a brown working cocker, so uh we'll see how that goes. But we'll have a break, I think.
SPEAKER_01We're we're uh tempted still to breathe from from Isker. So there's an option there. Um if uh if you're interested. They're mental, but um not that I'm selling it, but uh black labs are just as bad.
SPEAKER_03Of course that yeah, yeah, we've we've we've looked after cocker here and uh um black lab, and they are just labs are just great. Labs are just good as labs. Um you're right about the um um springers and the cockers are just uh um they're working dogs, so you have to be uh prepared for that. So it could be good.
SPEAKER_01So get us, get us go. What's uh I know we're gonna go in a minute, but what's uh your plans for the rest of the weekend?
SPEAKER_03Golf fish, golf fishing tonight in a minute, so I need to get that on. Um sharpish and then um golfing tomorrow. Um yeah, I think the weather's we're now on the uh on the up, so uh I think it's gonna be a good fun like golf week to be honest, after work.
SPEAKER_01And please tell me now that when you're you're playing at whatever course you're playing at, you you start your conversation with uh so uh you guys in the golf society as well? You probably recognise me. My name's Lee, third place uh third place on the tour.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Well, I try well it's only a friendly game, a couple of guys, so they they is it ever friendly when you're in the society? I know no, this isn't a society game. This is just a uh uh doesn't count towards the end of year standings. It will count to my barb, it'll barbecue, it will count towards my hand gap. I will be putting a card in there. So uh it's frustrating that you can't sit uh I can't view your uh cards because of the uh um so I thought they would have linked, yeah. Scotland golfing.
SPEAKER_01But I don't know why, but um I can't. I remember you saying that I I could join Scotland Golf by having an England golf because I've got a membership.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so you should be able to put a card in, yeah. So I put cards in when I've been on silly. So you can do that, you can be able to put card in when you're up here at Christmas playing golf, yeah, you'll be able to put cards in.
SPEAKER_01Um I won't be able to put you down as a an attester, will I?
SPEAKER_03Because um possible valid point, not sure about that. Yeah, so when I look for Dale Clark, um I um but when I go filter location, you can't fil you can't filter by um country annoyingly. Right, okay. Um that's the uh that's the challenge. Um so you're right. So based on what you said, then no, you won't better uh uh test, but you can just get 10 to find it in three holes and one uh line to yourself there.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, I I it does look you challenge. I'm I'm looking no. Um it's a silly, but it doesn't give you Scotland. It doesn't no, unfortunately. Come on, Golf England, you should do better than that in this day and age. Um but yeah, my dashboard is shocking. Um I am oh sorry, my was it WHS? What does that mean? Yeah uh world handicap uh system index uh 30 point three I've got I've got higher numbers than you I was 29.9. Oh I was 29. Oh I used to be shit, I used to be 26.9. This time last year, May 2nd, 2025, I was 26.9. Um and then since I've um bought new gloves, balls, and and did lots of talking about golf, I've got washed.
SPEAKER_03Well, I think that's normal.
SPEAKER_01Throw more money out of it.
SPEAKER_03Correct, you need a new driver.
SPEAKER_01We'll see. It's coming, it has to that other thing's about to break as well, I think. Um I have been approved. Cool. Um all right. Well, I'm I'm not gonna get to play golf. We've got a busy week ahead uh of cruise ships, a special visitor I'll mention next week, and a special ship visiting as well. Oh, nice next week. So uh looking forward to that. Um, so another hectic week down on the docks. There is a way that you can look of someone.
SPEAKER_03Right, cool. We'll discuss this after this. This is not bad. I'll chat to you later on about that. Um, cool. Yes, you take it easy, buddy. I'll better get these uh on there and I'll love you to leave you. And uh Vic, enjoy your uh uh we'll bang on the numbers again somehow.
SPEAKER_01Okay, then what a workout he must have had.
SPEAKER_03Uh exactly, cool, right. I'll love you, leave you, buddy. Take care.
SPEAKER_01Have a good week, mate.
SPEAKER_03Cheers, cheers, bye bye, bye, bye.