Episode 18: Top Down

Episode 18: Top Down

No outline. No script. No GPS voice saying, “In 500 feet, turn left.” 🌀 Just two friends hopping into the conversation car and seeing where the road decides to go. One random thought turns into a story, the story turns into a memory, the memory turns into a life lesson, and somehow we end up right back where we started.

This episode is pure freestyle energy. Just me and Ashley shooting the sh*t, connecting dots that probably had no business being connected, and inviting y’all into the group chat while we do it. Come hang out and see where the conversation lands.

| New episodes every Saturday. Follow us on Instagram @twothingscanbetrue.podcast and join the Group Chat.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Hey group chat, before we jump into today's episode, we want to hear from you. If you're listening on Apple Podcasts, Castbox, Podbean, or any other supported platform, check the top of the show notes or episode description for the link that says Unpack with us what's your take on things. Click it and send us a text or voicemail with your thoughts on today's topics, your perspective, feedback, or even just a quick, hey girl, hey, we're unpacking together over here, so don't be shy. And for those listening on Spotify, the comment section is wide open, boo. Love you guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

How are you, darling? How are you?

SPEAKER_01 1:35

I'm doing pretty good. It's warm outside, not sure if I love it.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Don't complain.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

I'm I just said I'm not sure if I love it.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Love it, then it'll be cold again. Then what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Then I'm gonna stay in house and I'm gonna snuggle and drink hot chocolate all day.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Um be honest, I get why people who live in colder weather are so fucking depressed. I gotta be honest with you. Because, like you said, how much indoor movies and hot chocolate can a bitch endure? I gotta go outside.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

I still go outside though.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Being outside in the snow, I love it. It's the the air is so fresh.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

I don't even know what that means during the winter.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

It's so, it just so it's like so clean and it smells so pure. And then it gets hot and you smell all these nasty motherfuckers around here.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

I'll take your word for it. Sorry. I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Sorry for the explicit language. Um, yeah, that's what it is. But no, it's warm outside. We outside, sorta.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Are you trying to call baby? Oh.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

We're not gonna talk about you know the slight betrayal that happened before we hopped on this mic, but it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Listen, for our listeners at home, I live in the Everglades. So when you talk about stinky air, I live in Florida swamps ass area of South Florida, okay? It's hot, it's bugs. When I come outside, all the iguanas like fly across the fucking pool. Like it's it's just a lot. Oh no. The birds, I think, are doing that nesting thing, so they're everywhere picking up rocks and leaves and throwing shit around. Yeah, they they back home.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

They're back home.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

I'm not gonna lie. I I hate birds. I don't care what PETA, any of you animal lovers say. I hate they're terrifying, first of all. They're very rude. And like some of the it's one thing, imagine how you react with like a butterfly or like a mosquito flash and being like, oh my god, a whole ass bird. And I've been attacked by birds multiple times in my life.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

See, that's crazy. I never been flued up on by a bird.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

So I remember the first time I was genuinely attacked by a bird, or at least, well, we were all attacked by a bird. It really won up my mom's ass. We were in Savannah moving into my apartment, and the bird was like at the door, like squawking at her. I'm not kidding. And we were laughing, like, girls gonna get you when you go outside. And it really she had to run into the car and dive. That was number one. And then two, in Florida, apparently, like our state bird is the mocking bird. Yeah. Had no clue. And they're like a protected species because of it. So if they, which they always do, if they pick like a tree in your yard to nest, like to lay eggs, they will dive at you to protect their babies, like every time you pass. So we have this tree in our driveway that's in the center of the driveway. So like it'll do it there. And as you're walking to your car.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Oh no, that's not fair. You have to find another home. That's not fair.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

That's like those damn World War II videos where like the jet bombs are like, We have to be able to safely come and go from our home.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

You have to find another home. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

And we may or may not have killed the parents one year, and we maybe, maybe not got a visit from the Florida wildlife because we the babies were alive and we called them to come get them because we felt bad, and we may or may not were told that if we did actually use BB gun to kill the birds, which we did not do, we would have got a fine. So but all of that is, you know, hypothetical. None of that happened. We did not shoot the parrots with BB guns so we could get to our cars.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Oh my.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Yeah, rehomed. Rehome them to the to the state. They should have sent it to Rick Scott and shoved him up his ass. Okay, no.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

No way.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

He was the governor at the time. Should have sent it to Robo Rick's house. Put him to work.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Yeah. Anyway. You're not a good person, sir. I just want to let you say, say like a toddler, you're not a good person.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Anybody that looks that robotic. Oh my god. He looks like the um, he looks like the iRobot robot from the Will Smith movie. Every time I see him, I just say Robo Rick.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

These people, do they not see the creeps and the creatures that are in politics?

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Rick's got he's what is he, like a senator or a congressman, whatever he is now. People don't realize how rich Rick. Like I think about it often. Like, we're worried about the wrong people sometimes because Rick, Rick is a problem, and Rick is rich AF. That's a rich girl. What does he mean? He doesn't eat. He's like the size of a finger. He doesn't eat.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

Because he's not human.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

What are you right? Like, I wonder what he spends his money on.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

He doesn't like he's a fun time. I think him and uh Mike Pence are from like sister planets. Because they're not exactly the same. But he looks, see, Mike Pence looks more like a king of the fairies kind of person. He looks like an evil fairy.

unknown 6:43

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

I think I always, whenever I looked at him, that's the first thing I got. I was like, he looks like the leader of the evil fairies.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

I think of all the names that man has be been called, I think that would offend him the most. I was at the airport with him one time. If I ever see him again, I'm gonna be like, look, it's the king of the evil fairies. I'm gonna make myself laugh. They're probably gonna ask me to leave. But that is amazing. I have never heard that in my life. That's great. It makes him, I don't know if it's more terrifying or less terrifying that he's an evil fairy.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

It's tricky because you think because you think of the word fairy, so you think I can take this fairy, but no, we said evil. We said evil fairy and the king. That's more power. That's more evil power.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

Don't I can take this fairy. I've never used that in a sentence. I'm you're just thinking, who thinks that? I can I can take that. Well, not that kind of fairy. You know what I mean. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

No, no, we're talking about actual. We're not not using the word offensive at all. This isn't offensive at all. We're talking about uh wing having flying in the sky, pointy eared, pointy eared, magic dust, kind of.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

You're going, you're going to offend the fairy community because whether you know it or not, there is a huge fairy community. And I ended up, no, listen. I am not surprised. Listen to me. I ended up on the fairy side of Instagram for like two weeks. I don't know what let me tell you something. I don't even want to talk about it too loud because I don't want my phone to take me back there. First of all, they do a lot of like like fan fiction where they like tell a story about if you were doing your normal everyday life stuff, but in the terms, are you looking at fairies right now? Are you okay? Um, I saw a bee. I saw a big bee. Oh gosh. They said the fairies sent that B after you to tell you to watch your fucking mouth. Oh gosh. The bees work for the fairies.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Not apologizing. Let's make it happen.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

So, like the fairies will talk about like they're tired of working in this fairy job. Like, they have like struggle and strife. Like they're they have certain career paths, certain bars and restaurants they go to. Like, it's a whole deep and then the comments they make like it is real. I don't recommend if you're into fairies and you're not on fairy and you need to take yourself there because you will find your friends and family. If you're not, don't ever end up there because you're gonna- I'm a Disney adult. So I don't really judge people's whimsy, but I thought that was a little much. So I stopped reading the comments and stopped putting laughing emojis and like when I keep interacting with this, I'm gonna get more fairy content. And I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I don't want to run into Mike Pence in these fairy streets. If anybody is a part of fairy insta, just tell me what's going on. Like, where does the line stop for you guys? Like, where does the line between fairy world and real world, where does it, where does it stop for you guys? I would love to.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Are you guys actually actionably trying to mesh the two? Because I don't think that's safe.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Are you like secretly fairing it up at your like are you hiding pointy ears under your hair? Like, do you walk around with pixie dust? I want to know how how real it gets.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Oh my gosh. I would definitely walk around with pixie dust and just dust people.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Again, as a Disney adult, I will not judge. I won't do that.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

That's why I cannot, that's why I cannot be a part of these communities. I would take it so far.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Well, you know, well, here's what I'll say. I think one thing that gets me annoyed with being a Disney adult is that I need people to know that there's different levels of Disney adults. We're not all created equal. We're not all the same. Some of us do not cry when we hug a character. Some of us are very much aware that there is a boy in there. Like some of us do not cry at characters. Oh my god. Some of us don't ever want to go to Magic Kingdom ever again because it's so goddamn crowded and annoying. Like, some of us are normal. It's just an easy, quick, fun weekend trip for us. Especially if you have a kid like me. It's an easy really tricky.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

It's really enjoyable. It's good drinks.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

Yeah, it ticks off all the boxes. You get away from home for a little bit, but it's not too far. You already have the hotels and the restaurants, the things that you like to do. It's not like a once-in-a-lifetime trip for us. It's like a fun weekend where you can drink, walk around, not get a DUI, laugh, joke, you know, have a fun time. It's but all of Disney adults are not like the ones that you see on Instagram. They're precious. I love them, but that is not the kind of Disney adult that I am at all.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

So if you could sum up what kind of Disney girl you are in two, three words at the most, what would it be? Drink, ride, and cuss.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

I can't understand.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Okay. None of that says Disney, but it goes you can you can be that way. She's letting you know that you can be like that at Disney.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

I like to drink. I like to go on like a ride or two.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Drink and cuss.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

I wanna one day.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Do you cuss out at least one person at Disney every other time you go?

SPEAKER_00 12:08

It's been a while. Now it's like that's good. That's great. It's now it's like once in a blue moon. I definitely don't go as much as I used to, but now it's like once in a blue moon.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

Once in a blue moon.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

You know what it is? And I gotta be honest. Millennial and Gen Z cast members, get on my fucking nerves. They want to follow the rules a little too much for me. So, okay, if you get a lightning lane, like a fast pass, right? There's a grace period window where if you're like a little late or a little early, they forgive it. If you're outside of that window, they literally can press a button on a tablet and let you come in. It's really never that deep. And I don't care if you work at Disney right now and if you hear me or say something different, I talk to normal cast members who told me at that point they press the button, it's at their discretion.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

I try to be really respectful, nice to people, period. But especially if at Disney, if you're really kind, they can really make a magical trip for you. But where I draw the line is if I'm late for my fast pass, I don't give a damn if it's an hour or more. Don't ask me why I was late. This is not school. You know my teacher. Now why were you late? So I'm in I'm in I'm in line for my fast pass for the dinosaur ride. And the guy was like, Well, why are we so late? What? No. So I was like, Oh, um, we just had issues with the bus. So he was like, Um, sorry, we're at capacity, just being a little cunt. I said, girl, all right. So I I leave because I I really could have gone off. But I'm like, you know what, whatever. I'm I don't I don't care that much. I come to this place all the time. I guess I don't need to be shook up on dinosaur today. So I walked over to Avatar, that I'm also late for. And if you don't know, Avatar is like the ride. If not at all a Disney, definitely an animal kingdom. It's way harder to get into, it's way harder to get a fast pass for it. So I walk there, I was late. The guy was like, Oh, you're late. Boop. And I see him tap the button and like, come on in. So I said, Well, hey, I wonder why the boy told him what happened at dinosaur. I'm like, he was he was like, he was just being an asshole. It's not that serious. I was like, thank you. I get off the ride, I go back on the app. There's like a whole slot of fast passes for dinosaur that were still open. So they was not at capacity. So I came back literally five minutes later with the fast pass, and he was like, oh. I said, Oh yeah, I wasn't at capacity. I was able to re-book. But like that, some of the younger cast members, they're very rule-oriented. It's like, that's what the book says. Even though there's discretion, they don't have the mental capacity or they're not good enough. They're not good with hospitality. They're good with following the rules in the handbook.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Customer service is not their strong suit.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Customer service is, or not even customer service is politeness with policy. Hospitality is the gray area in between that you can use at your discretion to make someone's vacation a good vacation. There's never should be an opportunity where you make someone's vacation bad because you don't like their attitude. Yeah. But I think a lot of millennials and a lot of Gen Z, I don't know if it's the increase in neurodivergency. It's like they don't know how to operate in gray areas. They don't know how to operate in like a common sense. Like the paper told me I have to press it this way. And if I can't do it that way, then the paper, like they need a step-by-step. There's no wiggle room for like independent thought. And sometimes they can make it really not a fun experience.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

And that responsibility is on your parents. Like you need to be able to operate outside of when the plans go awry or things are left, or it's not exactly as you've been instructed it should be. What do you do then? Because what happens when you don't have a computer? What happens when you don't have a phone and you have to figure something out? Like random stuff. Like what kind of like and I mean the basics to be able to problem solve and adapt to your situation.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Adapt. Adapt is the key word.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Yeah, adaptability is lacking.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Well, like we talked about when we were out to eat in Atlanta with the with the hostess. Like that was the first. So what they call that, I finally connected the two. It's called Gen Z resting face, I think, or Gen Z face or whatever. Where it's like they just do that blank stare. It's like they don't know how. So, okay, y'all. So me and Keila went out to eat in Atlanta after the podcast festival. We walk into the restaurant, there's a girl that's a hostess. I've been a hostess in my life.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Before you finish, hold on. Might I add, we've had two different experiences with two employees in their restaurant. Two totally different experiences. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

So, like, I've been a waitress, I've been a hostess in my life. Like, so I'm saying this as somebody who was on the front lines of working in the restaurant industry. I'm not just talking from outside of the club. I know ball when it comes to working in a restaurant. So if you're a hostess, when somebody walks in that's coming to clearly eat, or just walks in your restaurant, the natural thing is to say, hey, would that be a table for? Insert how many people you see in front of you. Or do you, hey guys, y'all have a reservation or you'll walk in? There's some kind of recognition, and those are usually one of a handful of questions you ask if someone's walking into a restaurant. I noticed with the younger group, and I would say even as young as old as 30 and under, you walk in and they just look at you. The hostess just looks at you. Because they're waiting, they're waiting for you as the customer to acknowledge them.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

So I'm like, hey, uh, you know, we want a table. She's like, oh, okay. The fuck you think we're getting there for? I'm good. He was looking at her like, is she okay? So I'm like, um, yeah, can we get a table? And she's like, okay. I'm like, and she's literally is like about to touch the menu, but she's like not really moving.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Yeah, she's she's not um committed to the movements of getting us to our table.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

Table for two. And then it was like automatically a click, like, oh, okay. I was like, oh my God. So Keely's thinking that like this girl is just being a bitch to us. I'm like, no, no, no, this is real. I said, watch. Where we were sitting, we could see the hostess table. I said, just watch. Every person that walks in here, she's not going to acknowledge any of them first. Sure enough, a guy and his girlfriend come in. She stayed there looking at them like locked-eyed, wiping the menu to the point where the couple doesn't say nothing to her. They just walk past her and start like surveying the restaurant. And eventually, I guess they decide to come back and be like, hi. She's like, Oh, you want to take.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

And and then we, and then our waiter, he was like the kindest, the sweetest, the most attentive waiter that you would either you would want to have. But I was like, Where it where is in that clocking for somebody?

SPEAKER_00 19:06

I don't think that in that girl's case, she was realizing that she was not kind. Again, they don't, there's no gray era. There's for them there's a very black not being kind. In her mind, it's either I'm if I'm if I'm rude, that means I'm cursing. But anything else is me being not in her mind, she's like, I didn't curse, so I was nice. There's a difference between I I said something to you when you said something to me. There's a difference between like, this is what my job is on paper, this is what they're paying me to do. And then there is like, well, but I'm also working in customer service. I like people, I'm friendly, I like working in service, so this is how I do it. Like, it's two very different things.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

And I noticed just a lot of they noticed that when they interviewed that girl, they saw that dry as No, she was she was pretty, she was young, she was neat looking.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

She said she had reliable transportation, she could work weekends and nights. And she probably, you know, seemed like a nice girl in the interview. But then I noticed too, like when I used to interview people, I'm like, if you're whispering to me, you're probably not gonna be the one to speak up when it comes to t to take someone's order.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Seriously, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

But then your options are so limited when you're hiring people for these jobs. Like, well, at least she's got all of her teeth, and she doesn't have teardrops tattooed on her eye and a gold, like, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Having to interview people is an experience.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

It really scares me. Like it is.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

It scares me. I remember the first time I had to do it and it was at Torrid. I was like, I don't Lord, I don't know who's about to walk through this door, but please let them have a little bit of sense. Like, I just I don't I've never done this before in person. I don't know how I'm gonna react to a certain type of people. Please, please. And he sent me some great cute girls, and he sent me some people I had to be like, you know, thank you. You're a great person, but no, thank you. Um you're a great person, but you can't work here. You don't have the skills. You seem very nice, but you just yeah, no. And the skill is to like be able to look me in my eye and talk to you.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Girl, I got to a point in hiring where I was like, are they breathing? Are they hearts? I don't care if they even have teeth anymore. Like, it just because it's so hard to hide and listen, I get it. Like, I know they're not paying people what they should be paying people in work conditions. I think the roughest part of working conditions are the people that you encounter sometimes, the the customers, but it's like a give and take because you want people to be nice to you, but half of us are not the nicest when we go out either. So it's like a I just I don't miss the I know we'll be back in a position where we'll have to be like hiring people again soon. And I am so not looking for like I've decided this second go around, I'm definitely making a cult. I want a bunch of like, you know how Gwen stuff, Gwen, what's her name? Paltro has her little army. We're gonna have a little cult of like all. All the girls are gonna be like little clones. I'm serious. I want like those little, like the, like the college spellman girls who are like little geniuses who I'm afraid of. Who are falling in line. But like I'm a little afraid of them because they're so, so smart and they don't talk. They just text really fast and go like this. Like, you know, look at you with like above their like thing where they're like clacking with their thumbs on the I want those girls. They're terrifying and they don't have the best people skills, but they can do anything. I want like an army of those. I want an army of like spellman sophomores.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Oh, that's that'd be intense.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

I'll give them the world. We'll run for office and win with them alone.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

But then you have to let me hire one zany little SCAD student. Absolutely not. She'll be crying in three weeks. Yeah, throw her into the yeah, we're gonna give, yeah, we're gonna toughen up her. Yeah, what are you talking about? We're gonna prepare her for the world.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

We misgender them, we're gonna get sued.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Because it's gonna change. Okay, well. This is SCAD. I'm not about to say this on on the mic, but we'll figure that out.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

You already know. Have you ever watched? It's called The Teacher. Let me make sure I have the right name. There's this show that was on FX called The Teacher. It got canceled, I think in part because the guy who was the actor, who I think is hilarious, he was being canceled for uh, I don't know, hooking up. It's called English Teacher. English Teacher. That show, not only is it hilarious, I think it did the best job of like hilariously depicting teaching kids of like this generation and how they would drag him for not being like woke enough. And he's like, I'm a Latino and I'm gay. Like I'm as minority as they come. Like, how am I a problem? They'd be like, No, am I a problem? Louie, you don't know anything. Like, they're so you know how we always say the younger ones are very strict, they're real strict.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Yeah, they don't play the yeah, no, yeah. I'm terrified of them, but God love them. Um and then these little little ones coming up behind them. I don't know. What are they called?

SPEAKER_00 24:12

Our kids.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Um, they are so we have I think so. I think it's Gen Alpha. Let me see. Gen Alpha is what age range? They were born between 2010 and 2024. Yeah, that's all my kids. Yeah. Why would I be stuck like that? That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

Like I either should have started sooner or a little later.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

Yeah, I'm like, because think about it. Like, will college even exist for them? Like, will college exist like that? Or will it have to say?

SPEAKER_01 24:46

No, I no. I think that there is there's always gonna be uh college now in the same way. I think for like maybe not our grandkids, maybe not our great grandkids, but I think for our kids, yeah, it'll still be. Great grandkids, who the fuck is gonna be around for that? Not me. Well, we might not be around. I'm just saying that college is gonna lose. My problem is I'm not here. I don't care what happened to y'all.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Okay. Granted, my great-grandma closes in my life, but I don't have time for that. I don't want to know. I don't want to have nothing to do with those people. Oh my goodness I don't want to know. You know, I'm still in that weird space where I'm like, I don't think I want my kid to have kids. I don't want to be anybody's grandma.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

Oh my god, that's not your choice, ma'am. So you might want to just let that go.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

You might just want to just relax grand babies of my own. I'd be like, what the f why? What is wrong with you? Why do you want that? Like, hold on. Nothing about it sounds appealing to me. Maybe maybe if I had a girl, I was the girl of the mom, like the girl's mom side of the family. But as the son, you're automatically like the no one cares about that grandma.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

So well, hopefully, if he decides to have kids, the person, she just absolutely adores you. So you're gonna be a part of where you're gonna be welcome into everything.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

Well, hopefully me and her get along, but I won't lose sleep over it. I'm not gonna be that boy mom that's like no one's good enough for my son. If you want to take a look at it, please don't. I know I don't listen. If I think she sucks, that's gonna be your cross to bear. I'm go go for it. Good luck to you.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Just don't bring her over here.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

Don't bring her over here. Don't bring her over here. Hopefully she'll be nice and normal, but I don't know. I don't know how girls of this generation, like what like the typical girl is of this generation, they're too young to really suss out. Like, are like are they raising them? Are y'all raising your daughters to want to be like married and betrothed like we were? Or are you like, girl, just live your best life?

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Oh, I oh gosh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

Like, I wonder what the priority because I know we were so into being princesses and safe and blah, blah, blah. Like, I wonder, well, girls have that like desire to be because let me tell you something. He has the desire to have a girlfriend. He has made that very clear. So, hey, I don't know if girls want a voice. Okay, hold on. My dog, what an asshole. Oh, he got it, he got it ripped open. What let me tell you something. Don't ever get a pit bull. Don't get a pit bull. They're so cute, but uh they're not my dog. They can like his, he's not even one year old yet. There is not a single thing that I've purchased that his teeth cannot rip up and destroy. It's pretty ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

It's pretty ridiculous. You know who was my dog, and I got along with him very well. Not even my own dog was a boob. Me and a boob got along.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Girl, you should have fucking took him. Because I was tired of my damn dog.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

No, that wasn't gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

We just know when he came back from school, we were just friends. When I took him back home, he we he he was so annoying. Nobody wanted him. We gave him to like my godsister, and that's where he lived till his death. He's dead now.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

Rest in peace and boo. Yes, I got that when you said he led to him that he did not need to.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

He's dead. All right, Ashley. You're sorry.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Why? Why? Oh, listen, I saw Is Got Is last night.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

Don't you better not say that? I'm not gonna spoil it.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

I'm not gonna spoil it, but it is great. You it you're going to love it. It is an incredible movie. Everybody does an amazing job, every single person, every single actor, every single character. I love that they for once did not pick anybody that like, you know, you see the same people in the same thing all the time. Except for Skrulling Hay Brown. You know how I feel about him. He needs to be in everything all the time. But other than that, everybody they picked are, you know, either actors that you seen from back in the day that you don't see as much, or new people that just, oh my god, they were just all it was so good.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Yeah, the casting on this was pretty. It did amazing. It was amazing. It was so creative.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

There's elements that I feel like I haven't really seen in a movie that they did that were really cool. Like just the way that they like were able to communicate the relationship between the sisters and stuff. Yeah. Just was. I mean, Vivica Fox is a beast. Just the way they like even dealt with the flashbacks, it just was good. It was so you're going to yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Oh my, I loved every moment of it. Like, I could have I could watch it today today. It could have gone on an hour longer. It was so good. Oh, I'm so excited. It was so cool. From start to time.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

Thank you for not ruining it for me. I I appreciate you so much. I will forever be grateful.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

The only thing I will say is when I was watching the movie.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

I was like, oh, they made a movie about my dad. That's crazy, no, I'm just kidding. Oh, I can't. I can't even. He did not try to kill anybody. Well, you know. But yeah, you know what I mean. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. If he did, if he did allegedly, he wouldn't have done it himself. Put it that way.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Oh my.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

I was like, I'm making a movie about my dad. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Oh no, I will not be doing any uh autobiographies about my father.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

Oh no, that none of this gives your dad energy. It definitely just gives my dad energy. The dad in the book. Oh gosh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It definitely does not give your dad energy. I like your dad more than that.

unknown 30:39

Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

When are you gonna try to see it?

SPEAKER_01 30:43

I'm gonna try to go this weekend. So we'll see.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

Because you know, I love boosters is out too with Kiki Palmer.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

Oh yeah. I have to go see that by myself.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

You have to see that. I just I know he's apparently like a bad baby daddy, but I'm madly in love with Lake Keith Stanfield. I know he apparently he's anybody. He's a bad baby daddy. Apparently, that's what she said, but I mean sometimes when women be like ignoring those red flags in men, I'd be like, girl, why? But like I feel like he's worth ignoring the red flag for, right? Oh, she won't pay his child support? No, no, no, no, no. I'm just gonna bang him like he's a good person. Good job. Oh, just pay his child support.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Are you crazy? I'm just I'm making sure.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

It was a it was a question that this economy I wouldn't needed the energy that you gave. I won't even buy that man a piece of mine. In this economy, I'm not gonna cut him shit. Please. Yeah. Oh, so which one do I see first? I know. They're out. I think the I Love Boosters comes out Friday. Yeah. Yeah, this Friday, right? I noticed some of the movie theaters near me were not showing Is God Is. I was like, are you guys racist? Maybe. What do you mean? Like some theaters just didn't have it. I thought it was weird.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

That is weird. Right? That's definitely a top box off type of movie. So why wouldn't you have that? You know how you don't want black people showing up at your establishment.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

Okay, like you're gonna replay Top Gun for the 37th time. So it's on the 20th anniversary. Cha please.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

That is so stupid.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

Child please. But no, it wasn't like and I I probably won't see I love boosters this weekend, but I'll see that at some point.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

The only thing is there's a certain theater that I want to go over here, but it's like one of the smaller ones because they serve like their food is so good and they serve drinks. And it's smaller though. So I think what if if I go see I love boosters first? That means I'll probably be in a pet theater, which Yeah, not my jam.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Do you buy food and drinks at the movies?

SPEAKER_01 32:43

When it's that setting, that type of setting, when it's like they serve the food full meals and they bring the drinks and stuff like that. It's one of those smaller theaters where you can you can get actual plates of food.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

Is it $8,000?

SPEAKER_01 32:57

No, because me and um my mother ate for like we each got an entree, got a drink. We pre-bought the tickets, so the food, it only the food only costs us like 60, between 60 and 70 bucks. Yeah, which is sad, but that's that's reasonable. Yeah, no, that I I know. Isn't that crazy saving that? Like that like it's a reasonable that's how age it's I could have I should have been able to say, like, you know, for like $30, that's no not today. It costs $40, $50 at this point if you're eating with your family. Oh my gosh. What is your ghost for?

SPEAKER_00 33:29

Like, what's your movie like deal? Like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 33:32

When I go to movies, now I don't get anything anymore. I don't want no popcorn. But if I have to, if I'm must, if I need something to snag on, what makes me so sad? It used to be raisinettes.

unknown 33:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

I can't eat them no more because of the milk chocolate.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

You like the dark chocolate one?

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Oh yeah, but it still has milk chocolate.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

I mean, it still has milk in it because they're not actually like real for real dark chocolate.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

It's that play play dark chocolate. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So right now I don't. There's like not I don't really don't eat at the movies anymore. Unless it was in the setting, like I said before. I don't have no to go to Snake. I don't even sometimes, depending on what kind of drinks they have, I won't even have a drink. I'm like here. I'm just here to watch the movie. Don't give me none of the nasty stuff, anyways. I don't know. I think the last movie theater I went to, I just got a drink. I got me a cocktail because the movie theater that we usually go to. So I'll give me a cocktail and go watch a movie. Other than that, I ain't sna I can't snack on none of that stuff. It's so sad. Can't even go and have a full movie experience without paying an arm and a leg.

SPEAKER_00 34:41

Girl, well, I do like butter popcorn, like buttery popcorn, but I mix it with extra, extra, extra flaming hot Cheetos, specifically the triple extra hot flaming Cheetos.

SPEAKER_01 34:52

Oh, you got a whole thing. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There used to be this one movie theater in Pensacola that would make chicken tenders to order shits rolling.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

Oh, see a good let me tell you something or a good chicken tender. If you can make a good chicken tender, you're winning.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

Hot out degrease. And then sometimes if I had an edible, I would dip it in nacho cheese sauce. But typically, I will just do the extra, extra flame of hot.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

That is an under-the-influence combination.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

I'm not buying a drink at the movies. I'm not, I'm not giving them money for liquor. And like, the kids don't, as much as the kids care about the rules, they're terrified of confrontation. They're gonna go check my purse. No, I'm literally how a cooler bag at the end of it. No, for real. They're not gonna say nothing to me.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

No, they're not. They're not checking for that stuff. You literally can bring your own snacks.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Well, now even like you're bringing up your ticket at a kiosk and not even talking to a person anyway, which is great. Yeah. Which is great. I'm sorry. I know what I said about hospitality and search, which I think is important, but like some things, I'm okay with like kiosks being everything. I don't, I'm not that pro. I don't need to talk to you.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

No, there are I when it comes to ordering stuff, put a kiosk. Put a kiosk.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

Please. I want because then you have all the time in the world to look at the menu, think, peruse. Yep. You can freaking, it tells you the ingredients. Like if you try, kiosk are supreme. I love a kiosk.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Yeah, and the only time you have to bother an associate or an employee is if you have an extra question. But other than that, like, let's keep it very simple. Let's keep the flow going. Let's keep the line moving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it. Love a kiosk. Okay, so I um wanted to ask you, have you heard of this jewelry brand called, I think I want to say Solery?

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Solery?

SPEAKER_01 36:47

Solari, Solery. I want to say Solery. You know, it might be fancier. S-O-L-A-R-I-E. And the E has the apology. The accent.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

The accent mark? No, no, no. No, no.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Okay, so I sent it to you on Instagram. And I want you to do it. So it's like you pay you only pay shipling shipping and handling, and they send you different pieces every month. And I when I saw them, I was like, oh, these are so cute. And Ashley would probably like it. It's so cute. I started it.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

I never heard of such a thing. What's the scam?

SPEAKER_01 37:26

No, there's no scam. I just wanted to try a new, you know, my whimsickle. And those are very whimsical pieces. So, but then I saw and I was like, oh, Ashley might like something like this. So I'm gonna try it and then I'll tell you whether it's for real, legit, legit, or if they're just playing games.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

Right. I know I'm gonna be able to do that. But they're so cute. I'll I'll try and see what they say.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

So if anybody else out there, if you guys like if you wear jewelry on a regular basis, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, anklets, rings, or whatever. Oh, especially anklets for the summer. Yes, put on a cute little anklet.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

My ankles are too fat for that.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

When I said, Yo, when I said anklet, the way that Ashley's side of her mouth turned up, like immediately I knew I was not a part of this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

Like immediately not a part of this movie. Oh my god, I'm excluded.

SPEAKER_01 38:23

But yeah, y'all try and go look at Solery. It's really cute. I'm gonna try their stuff. That's my my first um step to my whimsical summer.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

So I have to ask, what what is this intense energy you built around around being whimsical? Like this is a word I keep hearing and you keep using. Like, where's this coming from and why whimsy?

SPEAKER_01 38:49

I just I think I need to put a lot more effort into being a softer person. I feel like you think you're hard? Um, I think inside these four walls, I think I've become a little aggressive.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

What do you mean? Give me some examples.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Um I'm sick of little kids shit.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

No, no, no. Like what are you doing? Like what behaviors or what characteristics do you think that you are portraying that makes you that that's making you know.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Well, I was doing a lot of yelling and I had to implement like a no yelling rule where we are intentionally not yelling and not allowing yelling because it was just loud and chaotic. So um yelling also just straight up like leaving the house, like, oh two fingers up, I'm out this piece. Right. Um, which some people be like, oh yeah, you should walk off, but when you like don't say nothing to nobody and just walk straight out and be like, y'all figure it out kind of thing, even to the that's a little aggressive. Um I feel like in my tone felt a little harsh. I know my mom was like, excuse me. Ma'am. So I just and it it's not even just about like this whole trendy, just like, I want people to see me as soft, and I want to see people say like I mentally just want to be less aggressive in my head, also.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

And I think because I am such a creative person that I feel like doing these outwardly things will help me to maybe even feel softer so I can mentally like start to you know calm myself down. Yeah, like telling my brain and my body, like, this is who we are. This is not ill, not in that annoying ass voice.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

That is that is I didn't think the voice was bad at all. The way people really hated it. Jeez.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

It was gonna, it was quickly gonna piss me off. Damn, you can over. I just feel like people who uh speak like that sometimes you'd like you trying to sound like you never went through anything. I don't like that. I don't like that. You're no.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

That's a loaded amount of feelings for that voice, babe.

SPEAKER_01 41:11

It is, it is, it is. We don't even have the time.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

Do you want me to get in your business a little bit?

SPEAKER_01 41:17

What kind of business? We'll see.

SPEAKER_00 41:20

We'll see. You know, it's cut it out. But okay, my thing is I 100% agree that like you have to create a space. Like, I felt that way when I came back here about like my space. You know what I mean? I felt like in my old place when it was just me, in the beginning, it was such a cute, safe, comfortable. Like, it just really felt like it was my personality. But towards the end, when I got like super depressed and like miserable, it literally became like a slam pad where it just was like, drop myself off, go get dressed up. So I knew your environment can definitely affect that. Like when I came back here, I was like, I'm gonna make sure I gut and you know, purge everything that I don't need. I'm gonna declutter my mess, like, I'm gonna make my space as easy to get around, to find things as possible. And I felt like that helped my mood.

SPEAKER_02 42:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:13

I think that's a start. But I think you got to get down to the root cause at the end of the day of like, because you know, I'm always gonna have your sod. There's things that are happening that's causing you to get frustrated, to get you know, reactive. And I believe like family can do one or two things. It can be your safe space that allows you to live in that quote unquote feminine energy, and it's that safe space that allows you to like bring out a soft side. But if you're in a dynamic that doesn't allow you to be sensitive or soft, it just it's it's so hard to do that or to try to change that when you're not in a in an atmosphere that allows you. And I think sometimes when I hear women talk about what they want in a partner or relationship in their life, I think a what I judge in women, they're like, you know, I just want to turn off my brain and I want to be able to be a woman. I'm like, you can't do that on your own. But I understand how hard that is if you're in a space where you always gotta be on, you always gotta be in charge, you always gotta manage everybody and everything. It's like it you have to be in the space that allows you to be that way. So I'm I don't know if you're beating yourself up, but in my mind, I'm telling you, like, you can be as whimsical as you want, but if things that are still happening that need to get done and it's all still falling on your shoulders for it to happen, it's very hard to be whimsical in that atmosphere because it's like while I'm over here floating with the fairies in my pink dress, everything that was happening that made me want to leave this motherfucker is still happening. Like, damn, it has to be on both ends, and your home space needs to be one that allows you to be mom and keyla. You know what I mean? Like all those things, right? It has to allow you to be softer.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

You are, you are. Correct. I have to stop saying that like that. Every time I say it like that, because I think about a scene in Billy Madison, don't ask. Um, but I think maybe uh that's probably why I'm like shifting into this because I actually am starting to feel that burden being lifted a bit. So I me wanting to take full control what we went through in the past. And I think I'm starting to actually let that that stuff go and live in the present and work off of what's happening now and how things are being yeah, and what's actually happening now. And and say I'm triggered, that it's not like, oh, well, here we go again kind of thing. It's let's address it. This is what it was, whether something needs to be attended to, attended to, or or whatever it may be that I feel like I can I'm allowing myself to just be okay, not feeling like I have to control everything and things have to go this way, they're not getting done because they are getting done. You know, I'm not having to do everything or to feel like I have to handle everything. And because they're at a different place now, much better place, and we're working through oh goodness. I'm just a side note. When we started this podcast, and even before that, like just talking about certain things bubbled all these emotions to the top. And it is very hard, and you can tell me if you can relate, to be uh living with a parent that you become angry with all over again about childhood traumas. Like I know this lady ain't just act like my attitude was like the world ending, and I'm trying to work through the fact that such and such and such and such happened as a child, and it's and I've just been hella triggered.

SPEAKER_00 46:06

My I feel a little different with me and my mom. I mean, I get annoyed with my mom all the time, but I think that's because I'm a Taurus, she's a Taurus and I'm a sedatarius. If you don't, if you're not into astrology, you don't know anything about it, they're like the most diametrically opposite signs. We just are very, very different, and we our sense of humors are different, our personalities are very different. So for me, I think sometimes it's more so the way that I communicate and the way she communicates. It just we just it doesn't isn't compatible. It comes up sometimes, I think, past stuff, but I don't I'm not I hate that it does because I really am not holding on to it. I think what happens now is you know, my mom is very set in her ways of things she wants to do and how she wants to do things. And I feel like, you know, sometimes it's like it's like the things that you're focused on. It's like girl, why are we leave me alone, let it go. But I don't know. I feel like we are all well the good thing with my mom, we're close enough to where we can argue, we can really get into it, but I think we're so awkwardly close that nothing will ever trump like how naturally close we are. Sometimes I think the problem is we are too close. I think we're all me, my mom, and my sister were so like intertwined with in lockstep with each other, which is amazing and lucky. So I'm like, when you have it like that, there's no way you're not gonna annoy each other because like yeah, we move, live, and breathe as like a unit sometimes. But um, I don't know. For me, I feel like if I were to get a hundred million dollars, I would still prefer to live with my mom than not with my mom. This sounds weird. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 47:49

I just feel like No, I feel like my mom needs to come everywhere where we come. So I don't know. That's I get it.

SPEAKER_00 47:55

For me, it's more so just like I don't see.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

No, wherever we move, she needs to be.

SPEAKER_00 47:59

Yeah, I don't see myself like ever living with a man in my life. Personally, I just don't think I would enjoy that. And but I like having like family and like I like I like us all be like if my sister could move back here, if she had less animals, I don't want her to be back in here. Like I just like when we're all in the house together. Like this just how we are. I just like when we're all in here together. I just enjoy it. But I so I think whatever little things come up, I don't attach it to like past stuff, even though past stuff is relevant. I just attach it to we're all in here together. It's a big ass house. It's not like we're on top of each other, you know what I mean? Yeah. But I just think it's when you're around each other, somebody a lot, a lot, a lot, like we are and you're as close. I I look at it as just inevitable. But I also feel like it's made me the way that you feel about being sensitive or more soft, I definitely feel like that for me because I know I'm I'm very hard. So I feel that way. So I I as much as it gets uncomfortable sometimes, I'm grateful for the fact that we live together because it's kind of forced me to be like, well, how can you get your point across and communicate it better? Or do you even need to get your point across? Do you need to just shut the fuck up and let somebody live? I think maybe people learn living with a spouse or a partner. I feel like I'm getting that with us all living together. I kind of I like it that way. I like it that way. But I get what you're saying. I think from the conversation that we had with your situation, I think it's just more layers, it's just different.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

Yeah, it's so much more different. Yeah, um, it's not because it's not that I don't like enjoy her. I don't, it's or just the home dynamic period.

SPEAKER_00 49:32

Like it's a lot, but sometimes it's you know, it's like for our age group millennials. I think more now more than ever, a lot of us are either living with or like cohabitating with parents. Like, you know what I mean? Like long they're moving in with you. You know what I mean? You're moving, like it's not so much I'm just at home, just the way the world is working. They're ever like there. I got a flyer the other day for like another multi-generational neighborhood. It's these neighborhoods where like it's a big house for the family, but there's like a little separate mother-in-law's quarters. Like, that's just what it seems like the world is coming to.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

Where it's like, Yeah, what it looks like in America now.

SPEAKER_00 50:07

They were all together. But I think, and this is just my opinion, I think it's harder to do when you're married because you're encountering so many different dynamics. You're encountering a husband and a wife in their stuff they got going on. You're encountering a mom and a dad in their way of parenting, your daughter's way of parenting, your son-in-law's way of parenting that's not rooted in anything that you understand as a grandma, probably. You're parenting your daughter still, because you can't help it. You're grandparenting, you're dealing with, you know, a man in the house that's not technically, you know, blood to you. So you're learning and adjusting to their own behaviors, their own thing. I think that's a lot of dynamics in one house. That would be a lot.

SPEAKER_01 50:47

It is. It is a lot. It's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 50:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:51

And then at the same time, we have so much friends.

SPEAKER_00 50:54

I'm sure I'm sure listen. So I can't imagine it not having great moments and heavy moments. But I don't know. I feel like, do you, first of all, how do you want to share, like, will you share stuff about like you said, like, you know, past stuff that y'all went through? Like, you are you gonna share that kind of stuff, or you want to just kind of keep it like more. No, I can share it. Okay. Cause I'm well, because well to go back to that, what I was gonna say is I feel like to some degree, in a negative and a positive way, you're doomsday prepping in some way. Like you're prep, you know how people who like get really into like preparing for the apocalypse. Like, on one hand, it's like your psycho, calm down, nothing's happening. Then when the shit goes down, it's like, well, hey, I'm I'm prepared, so whatever. I think, but because of what Dr. Fell, I know we hate him now, but what he used to always say is the best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior.

SPEAKER_01 51:52

Past behavior, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:53

I don't think it's crazy for you after what you guys went through prior to coming to where you are now to not keep that in the rear view in your mind's eye, especially with how many kids you guys have, to be like, if I start to see or feel anything that's gonna put us back in that position, and I don't feel like everybody is reacting to take care of it and make sure it not happened, then you feel like you have to overreact. I don't think that's a I don't think that's a far stretch for you to do that.

SPEAKER_01 52:20

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's and I don't either. I just I became a little more a little bit of a control freak though. So it's just like go ahead and and at some point breathe.

SPEAKER_00 52:35

Like someone. Yeah, you try to marry this person, you have to trust that they're in the same mindset as you.

SPEAKER_01 52:42

And and that things aren't because he you know, he him, the same thing, like realizing like things are not the same, things are changing for the better, like things are things are happening, so allow those to happen and appreciate and be thankful for those and you know, put your energy into that. You don't have to completely be like, I want to erase the past and not remember it, kind of thing. And just some but no, you need to remember it, let it be a reminder, let it be something that um kicks your butt into gear sometimes, however you're feeling, but still like okay, you're not there anymore, so yeah, breathe. You can in the areas that you can step back, step back, like you know, chill out a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 53:33

I think we talked about that a little bit a couple weeks ago where I was like, I just don't know if marriage is for me because I just can't, I don't want to have to compromise and trust somebody else that much. I genuinely don't. I have such a fear of someone else's choices puts my life in their hands. Like I don't want to have to rely, like you said, there's more than one way to do some kind of thing. It doesn't make it right or wrong. It's just okay. The controlling person in me, I just feel like I cannot take letting my destiny be shared in the hands of someone. It just scares me so much. I don't think I would be, I would, I would be miserable. I don't ever want to feel like if this man succeeds or fails or just does okay, it affects how my life turns out. Yeah. I could, but you know, when I see even the best relationships, which I don't see a ton of, but even the best ones, there's just a natural compromise and give and take that I just don't understand. Like, what about someone's personality and looks do you enjoy that much where you'd be willing to give up all these things just for the sake of another person? I just don't, I don't know, I just don't want my life that intertwine with somebody. I don't think that would work for me.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

And I think that's very smart for you to know.

SPEAKER_00 54:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:56

Like to not, yeah, to not go to understanding that and to not go into a situation where that would be because you would be miserable.

SPEAKER_00 55:04

Yeah, it just would, it would just scare me too much. I just, I, I can't, I don't know. I feel like not I'm only not only I'm very particular, I do, I do have a little worry work to me, but I just I don't know, the way that I like to move through life, I wanna, I wanted to. And you gotta compromise. You can't just do things the way that you want. Like you said, you walk out the door and not say nothing. That's a bad thing. I want to be able to do that. You know what I mean? I want to be able to say, okay, this is too much. I need a minute, I need a beat, and that be okay, and then not be like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 55:36

Well, see, I didn't say that the problem was I didn't say this was too much, I need a beat. I didn't say nothing.

SPEAKER_00 55:41

No, no, no, no. But that's what I'm saying. I don't even want to have to identify. But you're saying, yeah. I know I'm gonna announce it, yeah. Yeah, I want to be able to take it. You know what I mean? And I don't know. I feel like a lot of times we as women, we're not allowed. The men do it all the time. The men will happily go and get their peace and it's normal. But it's like if you leave, everything falls apart. You know what I mean? So it's just like, I don't know, as women, I feel like we, as moms, we're not allowed to freely move about. I'll never forget my parents when they were married. My dad would go on guys' trips. He traveled a lot for work with every career he had, from when he worked in hospitality to whatever. Like he always, without question, would go. He'd add on a day earlier, a day later for something off, whatever. I mean, just carte blanche. I remember my mom never ever went on a single girl's trip when I was a kid. Never, I don't think until she really got divorced, that she ever go on a girl's trip. And I remember um I was in competitive cheer and she was my mom was always the team mom or whatever. And she wanted to go get certified to be a judge for cheer competition. So she would like judge her competitions. And it would require her to go to like Orlando for three days. It wasn't during one of our tournaments, so it would be like a full-on, she's just going on Orlando on her own. My dad lost his shit. My dad was like, what do you think this is? And I just remember being like, You go places all the time without your wife, without us, like, and nobody questions it. You're saying it's for a work trip, but like it could be a day for work and the recipe, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, you can you go and come as you please. If you want to go to a game, if you want to, you know, do a like you do it all the time. But like, if my mom left, it'd be like the end of the world. Because it then it's like, well, then yeah, how do we eat? Who's gonna get us to school? Who's gonna get it to practice? We're gonna make sure we get home on time. Like, she just never could. She never could, let alone technically, I hate to say it wasn't allowed. And I just and I know every relationship's not like that. I just think for both parties, the level of compromise, I just it never, the juice never seems worth the squeeze to me.

SPEAKER_01 57:44

Yeah. See, for me, I'm glad I'm not in that position because I think my sometimes my control freak be like, okay, this has to be done, that has to be done, da da da da da. But I leave and nothing fall, like nothing falls apart. Not everybody's clothes, dress, bathe, food in the house done, laundry's getting done. Like, so I I put part of that, I don't know why I put it on me, and it may have just been like a just some kind of like weird reaction that you take on mentally when you've been through certain things, but I put that on me, and it's just like, no, you can't, you need, you need to leave, you need to separate, you need to take your time for yourself, you need to do that. And you, you know, thankfully have a partner where you can do that. So, what's happening when you have to walk out then? If it's all even to be honest, I'm probably trying not to punch a child. Oh, geez. And then uh me or us or like the kids are like the the kids have got into some kind of crazy confrontation and I've said something to them or he says something to them, so like we've corrected one another, and it just wasn't the time for that. So like now, like I gotta add to, he gotta add to kids gotta add to it, and I'm like, fuck it. Um, like it's moment, it's like moments like that. It's not like often, but it's just like moments that where I'm just like, okay, I'm I'm good. I'm I'm good on this.

SPEAKER_00 59:08

Do you you got it? I always find it so fascinating because people always as a single mom, people always have this idea that like with if there's a if there's two parents in the house, there's a mom and a dad, like those things don't happen, right? Like, yeah, mom doesn't, then dad doesn't. There's all do you feel like because there's I mean you don't have so you have four kids. I joke that you have 800. Do you feel like when it's just four kids or more, it's just too hard to like manage everybody? Do you feel like because they're so close in age? Like, why do you feel like even though every every study tells you you have to have a mom and the dad in the home, and that makes just the rearing so much better, blah, blah, blah. Why do you feel like it still gets to these intense points where you have to leave, even though they're like you said you have a present father, a husband that does all the cooking and the cleaning of the laundry stuff? Why do you think is it just life, or what do you think that makes it?

SPEAKER_01 59:59

It's just life is personalities and clashing of opinions in the moment, things like that. I mean, it's not because at the end of the day, honestly, when like when they do field trips, you gotta have a certain amount of uh adults for each child. I feel like the studies that say mom and dad are particularly studying mom and dads, but you know, if you have more than two children, like it would it's helpful to have a a partner. It's helpful, you know. It it's I don't see how it could not be helpful to have a partner, but um I think there it's just happening because honestly, it's just human nature. I don't know. I just I feel like that's just you're gonna clash, you're gonna disagree on some things, and sometimes when you decide to respond in the heat of the moment instead of taking a moment and addressing it afterwards, or just understanding what is going on in totality before you respond, that's it's it's gonna happen. Now, does it have to be so intense to where you need to leave, or if even if it's not that intense where it's just overwhelming? I'm I'm not sure. Maybe that also comes with maturity in your marriage and your skills and communicating. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:17

I appreciate you being honest because I feel like I I think I wish married women in general were more honest about like there, there's there's a middle ground between the Instagram husband that you know takes you to get Bergen's on a Tuesday, and then the lazy husband that does nothing. I wish if women were like, listen, I'm married, my husband is a contributor, all those things, and it's still all these things. Like, like, yeah. I think if women who pine for marriage so heavily and it's not happening for them, if they understood that, like, whatever the struggles that you're having that makes you need to feel like you want to be married so bad, if people say, like, you know, those things are still gonna happen to you, those feelings of loneliness, of frustration, of overwhelming, like those things are gonna magically go away now because you have a husband. You're gonna have those same frustrations, maybe a little bit more. Cause and more things you gotta deal with in the marriage. It doesn't say don't get married, but I think some women look at it as like it's going to now solve all these problems.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:18

Solve and complete all these things.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:20

When it's just like, no, you're just gonna have a different life track. It's not going to, I don't think it's gonna make your life better or worse. I think it's just gonna make your life different. I think if women learn that more, they calm the fuck down a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:32

And I think they also like there's this the the whole like um you needing to be whole before you get into a relationship. And I think that needs to be explained in depth because I a lot of women, I feel like if they want to be in relationships, they feel like they can't because they feel like they're not the perfect version of them yet. They're like, I'm not the best version of me yet. But on the other hand, me and my husband had this conversation a few months back, like, and we were talking about like some of the communication issues that we were having about a certain subject, and we were like, oh, like to be honest, we decided to link ourselves together in marriage before the whole whole becoming whole thing. So we're in this relationship, we decided that we were and we committed that we were gonna do life together while still healing, and as jacked up and as messy as it can get sometimes because we we made that choice. And I think a lot of people need to realize when you do make that choice in that point of your life where you're not, you may not be the you're a better version of yourself, but you may not be like the best version of yourself as you feel like you want to be, and you decide to get into a relationship and a commitment, there is a a lot of challenges that you and your partner individually are gonna have to deal with, but because you guys are going through those challenges internally, that it affects you guys externally, and now you have to deal with them together. And if you don't recognize that and you're and you're not willing to figure out how to operate in that because you understand, okay, that's that's what's happening in this moment or in a certain season of your life, then you you you're gonna you're gonna wind up calling it quits because y'all are you're not gonna be able to work through those things together and it have you and it helps you to not only become better people individually, but your relationship be stronger and you guys have a better time when you you are truly willing to accept someone for who they are in every season, every moment. And it's not a deal with it. I don't like that tolerate deal. Yeah, even sometimes the word handle, but it is it's like you are you're you have to learn to coexist with this person, otherwise, then don't don't stay in a relationship, don't be in the marriage. If you're not willing to coexist with this person when they are not their best, right when they are dealing with you when you're not your best, so or if you got like a time limit on how long you can deal with the not the best, like honey. No, it's and if you do voice that like, hey, I got about five more months of your bullshit left on my clock, on my nerves, I got about five months left.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:07

So either you're gonna figure it out, or we got to go like speaking and say something when you say when you're whole, how do you what is your definition of being whole to you?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:23

Um triggers don't send me over the edge. I'm able to recognize it, like yeah, I don't like that, but I'm I'm not reactive. It's okay, I'm able to I'm not reactive. I like self, like self hate talk, all that stuff that doesn't that barely exists. And when I say because I feel like as a whole person, you're gonna like you, it's not that you don't have your moments, it's that those moments become so far and few in between that when you get to those places or you're triggered by something that you're able to rush. recognize it and you're able to have your moment to deal with it and it doesn't it don't it doesn't take you out anymore like you're not having to spend weeks and months of um what did they say when you get out of the um the army what are they de like debriefing that you don't have to go through you know all that all that time and also I feel like you are you're more drawn to behaviors and attitudes and language that incite peace and love and joy so you embody that I feel like a lot of people was like you know I don't care what people think about me but I just I I want to know that when I show up into a room that it's not a oh that so-and-so kind of thing like that's key like which is what I get most of the time so I I want to make sure that's how I even feel about myself like I look in the mirror and I'm like that's key lack I feel like that's when you start to feel like you're a whole person or at least that's when I would know that I'm closer than not. So what do you think about the whole be a whole person and because it just it seems like a lot of times social media is very confusing. And of course they put certain like indicators on it like they put but everyone's different so it can't be a certain way.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:17

I mean I think for a good chunk of it are you know me I call bullshit on everything I think I I think this idea of being quote unquote whole is just like this really unfortunate goalpost that people put on themselves because by the definition that I think people give that you're this like you said this like cleaned up healed perfect what I just don't think that like you said everyone's gonna always have triggers everyone's always gonna have you know flaws so I think when if you're thinking that once you're all perfect then you'll f attract a perfect person I don't agree I think if you're in a healthy place and a good place you're gonna attract a better kind of person but I do think there is there is credence in the idea of I'm imperfect or I'm still struggling you're still struggling but I care about you enough to work on ourselves simultaneously together I dated a guy even though he's bullshit he he I remember we were going through a rough time and he was like I want to work on being a better version of myself for the real for this relationship not just whatever I I think that that's not impossible. So I I get the idea of being the healthiest version of yourself to attract healthy people. I don't believe in my mind if you are in a place where you're still self-loathing, if you're still doing really toxic behaviors and characteristics about yourself, you're not gonna attract someone who doesn't do the same thing. I always say a crackhead Yeah you're gonna you're gonna attract somebody a sober person is not gonna date a crackhead. Somebody who is not doing drugs is not comfortable is not gonna date someone listen to what I'm despite what you may think a healed healthy person would not be attracting someone that's free basing code crack. Period you know what I mean like so there's I just believe there's certain behaviors that if you are in a good place in your life that you're gonna see in the other and it won't even attract you because you're not on that so I think that but as far as being whole and quote unquote healed for what it looks like for me I just want to be somebody I I think what's important to me is self-awareness, right? I think people who are struggling to be whole they're trying so hard to be a version that they think is a good person or a happy person or a successful person that they're not just in tune or honest with who they actually are. And the same way I always say to you and everybody else before you marry that guy, think of who they are at their worst. If they never changed, do you do you still want to marry that person? I look at myself as who I am at my worst. Do I like the way that I am when I'm at my worst when I do lose my shit when I lose my cool if the answer is no like there will be times where I'll lose my temper and it will bother me for days. I'm like I shouldn't have said it like that. I should not have flown off the handle. So I'm self-aware enough to know I lost my temper and I was wrong. And I'm self-aware enough to know that even though I felt validated or not valid valid in my response that person tried me I know for me I don't like carrying on to that anger. So I know in the future next time as much as I want to go off I'm gonna hold back and bite my tongue because it's not worth me being frustrated for a week that to me is being whole that to me is saying I may I'm not perfect. I have flaws I'm still gonna lose my shit but I'm self-aware enough to know that there's some things I can work on. There's some things that are probably not going to change about me. And I like you said when I look in the mirror though I like who I see and who's looking back at me. I will never measure it by how other people feel when I walk in a room I'm just not likable enough for that. That's not gonna happen. I'm not that I'm not that relatable of a girl to where I'm ever if I ever have to measure it on how people feel about me in a room I might as well hang the fuck up now.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:04

I don't I could I could not air less because the think about it And when I say in a room I mean my character.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:10

But even your character though those the people think about that the people in the room the people that I'm for the people that I'm for I'm not wanting to be like that people aren't yeah I would hope that the people that you birthed the person that you married the person that people that birthed you they don't even talk about the people I'm meant to help out whatever purpose I have but I don't I feel like those people are going to see the light in you no matter what you know what I mean if if you're put in their path to interact with them because sometimes those people may not see you as the greatest person but it's your your interaction is enough for it to have changed something you know what I mean in their life in their mindset or whatever. So yes but no because I I realize that other people are so flawed that they're grading you based on their own crooked grading grading scale and what you think is good and healthy and happy is not what I think is good, healthy and happy so I can give yes if you look sometimes people dislike you because you are too healthy and you are too happy and you are too too happy.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:08

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:08

Yeah butter too uh lobster too buttery steak too you know whatever steak too juicy like you know but so yeah but I I I agree and I have this conversation often like before you go and date and put yourself out there for marriage or whatever else ask yourself if you like you said are really in not whole but just in the healthiest mindset. And if you get lucky like you did and say well I'm not there but then I found someone else who may not be there but they're willing to you know what I think that's rarer than the latter. I think to take two equally you know unhealthy or struggling people nothing that's where you were jacked up. But you know what I mean but like yeah taking two people who are in that position that are like you know what I mean willing to clean themselves up together. I think maybe you weren't as jacked up as you thought or you were jacked up in ways that were not like unhealthy or unsafe. But I think sometimes people if they're unsafe if they're not like in their right mind they're still not in a place where they're accepting abuse or you know like still having an addiction or just they've got really like harsh traumas they haven't dealt with I feel like you're not gonna yield the results that you think you're gonna yield.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:31

And so sometimes I feel like some people are not in a place where they're not they're ever gonna be healed but some people really are not made for a relationship.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:41

But everything tells you you have to be in one so people go and force themselves into one and it's like you're not meant for like I've we don't talk about enough that some people are not good partners period yeah they're just not capable of leading a family leading a household of being a safe space to be around like some people just don't have it but yeah here they go I I won't reiterate the self-awareness part and then also with self-awareness wisdom and discernment because I feel like a lot of people when you're not in a healthy space you don't you can't trust yourself to make decisions. So like we were even talking about with the whole like the cult and stuff like that where people just want somebody else to make the decision for them because they don't trust themselves to make the decision for them. So they couple themselves with people who love to tell somebody else what to do and to control somebody else but I think you really have to for you I feel like for you to have an indicator that okay I'm in I'm in a really good healthy space it's number one the self-awareness like who are you how do you show up in situations that may be overwhelming how do you show up in situations that make you angry how do you like if you if you were to do something wrong are you willing to be accountable and say hey I know I was wrong or like are you a defensive person? Like having that self-awareness like having wisdom like if you go through stuff and you don't learn from it or you don't take something from it if you can't if you can't take something from someone else's experience and use that as wisdom you don't always have to be the one going through shit to understand and take wisdom from a situation.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:31

I don't need to do that. Yeah no seriously for real I can see the the the the the the bad turn on that one yeah but you know seriously look at some of the dynamics that people go through like and sometimes I'm wondering I'm like maybe they're just posting on social media for attention they're full of shit but if they're serious some of the issues or like the conundrums people find themselves in I'm like how did you like what about any of the things that led you here thought made you think that A that was a good idea and B that it was going to turn out any and I'm What was the process I'm not a judgy girl because we like you said we all make dumbass choices and but one thing about me I'm not I really hate making the same mistake twice. I don't care whose fault it is if I made it twice I'm pissed at myself and myself only because we already did this no for real serious thing. But yeah what is scary to me is I've learned and this is every age generation race man or woman I think sometimes I don't know if it's desperation I don't know if we think we're too smart for our own good or influence from outside torches people fuck discernment people make crazy life choices like people make life choices that I'm like what a bad and then that are only going to fuck up your life that's it there's no other option enjoying in that moment right now like is it really worth but you know what I tell people too is like I don't judge do you but sometimes you deserve to suffer in silence don't share because nothing about the decision that you made was a good idea. I'm sure people told you don't do this thing and you like I think that some people we have to talk about the fact that some people enjoy drama some people do. Some people like a life line for them they really gets their gets their motors going.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:26

That to me sometimes is the only explanation for some of the and again I don't judge but when when you find your it's an observation judgment observations are judgments too sometimes but I believe that it's a positive judgment.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:40

When you find it's a rightfully so judgment in situations whether it be friendships relationships whatever it is I'm just like well for me I know when I feel like I don't know if I trust my gut or if I'm not seeing everything clearly to make a good decision, I I make no choice. I remove myself. I go stick down. I pull back because I have been impulsive where I'm like okay I just gotta choose I just gotta go. So I'll just not even think because I'm overthinking it already and then I just boom make choice and it always burns my ass when I do it. So I've learned if I'm not there's no rush. I don't have to do anything. I don't have to do anything I will sit down and it's okay to be like you know what I'm I don't know enough and I'm not mentally emotionally and informationally equipped enough to make a decision even if that means like a date with someone like if I for whatever reason I'm like should I should I not I'm gonna pause before I make a move because let me get back to you on that. And if the if whatever that thing was doesn't want to wait anymore it wasn't for you and that's okay too. Yeah exactly sometimes it's okay what did we say last time it's okay to take a beat sometimes discernment is just taking a pause and really like have a village have a friend have somebody that you trust and maybe outpost to I don't know what to tell you but like sometimes share your idea. Yeah but sometimes just don't do it just don't do anything just don't do that don't do that don't do anything just don't do that don't do it just don't do that but you know I think people look at things like it's all temporary anyway I think people be like well you can always get divorced well you know what I mean like or you know I mean like I can just get rid of this I can just go this way I think people I think part of the problem now with interpersonal relationships is that everything can be deleted like it never happens that quickly like I can make this bad choice and then just forget about it or just not see this person ever again or like like um you may feel that way these people nowadays leave and go where you made this choice. You stuck with a girl I don't believe in like time wasted but I feel like that's when it becomes a waste of time. If you go into it with earnest and it doesn't work out okay but if you go into it being like well fuck it this looks like a bad idea but fuck it I'm gonna do it anyways. I just feel like at a certain life it's like why do you want to keep doing that?

SPEAKER_01 1:20:06

Yeah that has to be stressful I feel like that's I feel like that is that's like some that's a fatal mentality. Like you're sure that's a sure way to kill yourself. But you know what? Whether slowly or unexpectedly fast.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:19

One thing that I will say about the older generation for the at least the ones that I grew up around that I appreciate that I feel like we didn't we don't always get because we're always in a crisis is they thought of like the future in like longevity. They thought like I don't know what our age group think they're gonna be doing at 60 70. Like they we do we still want to be outside at 75? Do we still want to be on dating apps at 75 or dating? I don't I They said now they they got ones for the gr gray haired people in the golden age so they said sure I'll just hop on the yeah I'll just hop on I'll just but like you know I mean just like when it comes down to like even like saving money or like to me I I believe impulsive decisions are best when it comes to traveling and shopping. Other than that I don't think that we think but because it's like we a lot of us probably watched our parents work at the same job their entire life and they retired after 50 60 years or maybe were laid off and it's like well what did they get out of that? Are they happier now just because they have you know a a roof over their head and that's it. Like are they really enjoying their life or peaceful? So we look at like I'm gonna enjoy my life now while I can and I totally agree with that. But like as we get closer to a lot of still got a plan for the future. It's like and the future doesn't just mean financial it's just like what do you want your life to look like when you're 78 but I get everything being so out of control in our thought about that when I was in the club tearing up my knees. No, you know what I say all the time back in my like Miami live days I'm like I should have been traveling the fucking world I have the money and I didn't have a kid like we could have gone on road trips. We were so stupid instead of being at the club girl I could have been in fucking Paris.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:07

I could have been I didn't go to Paris until I had took my little ice cream check I didn't have no bills and got a plane ticket. We could have traveled don't take us back we're a little stupid but it's okay we're smarter now.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:21

Now I'm like we're going to we're gonna go everywhere we can because I don't want him to think that all of his excitement in life is 20s is being in a club like I want you to and and it's weird because I had parents that exposed me to that and you know whatever but I wanted to be again being a follower you want to be cool and that's what the cool thing was to do in Miami and hang out. But again it's who you surrounded yourself with because I didn't have friends that were doing that. I had friends just were going to the club I didn't have friends that were doing anything you know what I mean I usually had the most money in the group and the only car in the group so shit you were happy that my boy I probably wouldn't even have come back to this country I probably would have gone some to somebody's island in my 20s and never came back I still can't I yeah we can I still can you still can might need to think about it in the next six months girl well like things are happening fast child you got too many kids I gotta tell you you got too many kids you can't move a a team of 12 like that you can't leave them and you can't leave them oh you you thought that's what that pause was I'll send for them well if there is anything I can do to help up your whimsy let me know because and I'm gonna be on the hunt for things to help you up your whimsy because one thing I love is a whimsical ass bitch.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:52

I love whimsy I love the whimsy I promise I won't become a fairy no offense to the fairy community.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:58

You know what you give fairy I'm not gonna lie to you you do give fairy I don't I can I would have to have dragon wings to hold up all this ass. You understand how immediately see how quickly you wanted fucking dragon wings you see what I'm talking about? You see what I'm talking about? Come on she said fine if you have to force me I'll get dragon wings and some pixie dust and a wand I guess because dragon wings are the only things that can carry this ass. Look at Tinkerbell's ass. I think that's just how the gravity works with the wings on the body I think it can hold more than people think she got a big ass Tinkerbell for real side note so you know at Disney that's a full circle you know at Disney in the firework show at night when they have uh Tinkerbell fly across the park like after the firework you know it's like a little gay guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:47

It's not a woman that's so funny it's not a woman because it's a little gay dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:51

I'm assuming he's gay the guy yell at me guys the guy told me it was a little gay guy he could be a straight guy but basically maybe the straight guy didn't want to put the dress what man told you it was a lurk it's like a little fit little you know gymnast side because you know it's a huge zip line from the top of the castle across so he's pretty fit dude but he has to be petite because you can't have a burly six foot guy pretending to be Tinkerbell over the kids. That'll scare him. So I think he has to have a more feminine build but be in great shape because it's a very athletic endeavor to zip line across fucking Magic Kingdom. They could have found a very fit woman because Tinkerbell is I don't I'm pretty sure there's a gymnast out there who would have loved to zip across that yeah listen I'm sure if if Disney adults get a hold of this episode I'm sure they'll let me fucking know tell me if this cast member was yanking my chain that's what I was told that it's usually a guy that does it.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:47

Oh my gosh. He might be a jerk he might that man might have been a jerk.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:52

No they were all like yeah yeah who everybody knows I was like oh I'm not gonna lie when he said it I looked and I was like I think I did see some pretty thick arms and legs I was like it it is giving a little muscular it is giving that oh yeah a muscular fairy hang Tinkerville's wings can hold all that masculine and ass it'll I think it'll hold you fine. We may not need dragon wings.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:17

But if you want them you can still have them I can have pearl dragon wings with glitter on the things you're very you're sounds like you're ready to be a fairy to me. No so but they seem too committed see every they want you to get into the world and you just want to be like a fairy for a couple hours and then they try to draw you in and now you have to live with other fairies. I don't have time for that I'll only be I want to be the only fairy in my family.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:40

I'll only be a fairy if I get to be in Sisa's fairy coven because I'm convinced that she's a human fairy I want to be under her leadership as the fairy queen.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:51

They're gonna be the ones to take down Mike Pence if anybody can do it it's Sisa. If anybody can defeat Mike Pence I definitely I will when she may I don't know what a fairy call sounds like but we'll know what it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:06

We'll know what it is when she calls us to line we will know oh my goodness well before we close out what are your plans do you are do you celebrate Memorial Day?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:20

Are you doing anything this weekend for the long weekend so my husband's birthday is the 25th so we'll see what we're gonna do about that. It's warm enough to like be outside be at the park do a little you know black people cookout you know you know you know I think you know what is weird about Memorial Day because I always like I I used to mix it up and like send my cousins and and people that I know but I'm like no fortunately I don't I want to say is that fortunately I don't know how how would you prefer somebody to say this we haven't had anyone that passed away that was serving.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:59

Oh yeah

SPEAKER_01 1:28:00

I was still alive.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:00

Unfortunately, that's fortunate.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:02

Yes. Okay. Okay. I'm s I don't want to, you know, for those who have.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:08

Yeah. I want to be respectful of that. So everyone, they mostly everyone, they all get celebrated on Veterans Day. But I don't know if he would want me to mention this. But speaking of that, I saw Isaac's stories.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:23

Yeah. Were they not like so intense and emotion? I like got teary-eyed. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:28

Um, but yeah, very upsetting. That someone would have to suffer for that long.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:34

You don't know. My brother-in-law is a Marine. He's uh no longer in active duty. But um, he did a really incredible series, a really like honest, just raw, transparent series, um, talking about his experience working with the VA and just trying to just get the services that he's entitled to after serving our nation and not just like serving it like you know in a uniform. Everybody's service is important, but like the man was like out in the shit. Like he was fighting and shooting.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:06

Yeah, you know, marines are infantry, marines are first line.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:09

Jumping out of planes, like on the toilet with a gun. Like he truly fought hard for our country. And his father was a Marine also. Like he's has a long storied career of, you know, protecting our country and protecting our rights. And it's just it was I I'm gonna I think I reposted it before, but I'm gonna post it again because I feel like as much as people love to be like, oh, we love our troops, we love our troops. I've met so many that's like all the benefits you give me can't be fucking free iHeartRadio tickets. Like, do things for me that are gonna make my life truly easier and better because none of us would be where we are if it wasn't for these people. And I know I'm not brave enough to fight in anybody's military. I'm grateful. I to be honest, that's the one caveat I make for people who serve the military. I don't care if you're the the biggest asshole, whatever. One thing I can respect is service because I knew I couldn't do it. And I feel like if we're gonna give give anything to anybody before we give it to January 6 people or whatever shit this man's coming up with this week, I've if all of our tax money went to helping veterans, I'd I'd be okay with that.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:18

I'd be okay with um it's it's very confusing and extremely upsetting to ride down the side of the road and have a vet having to hold up a cardboard sign to get fed. Like it makes it makes absolutely no sense in America. Something and then just and for the difficulty of getting health care. Yeah. Like I I just don't that just blows my mind because I have a cousin who was a Marine and he was injured during his they got bombed, and he has internal injuries because it got he got so sh freaking sh you get thrown and shook up and all kinds of stuff. So and he's just not receiving the help to the point where they had to talk him down from a bridge. So like the fact that it's just the help is like there, but not there is crazy. The fact that you can you you're supposedly you have this app where they're supposed to get instant access. And but let me tell you something, it's like but that's America because it's like uh texting the crisis line. Ain't I supposed to get a text back?

SPEAKER_00 1:31:25

Do you not?

SPEAKER_01 1:31:27

Um, if I call, are you really supposed to be putting me on hold for that long? They said sorry, girl, everyone's in a crisis. That's like like no, for real. Jeez. Like, so you know, good old America. I didn't want to end on that point.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:42

I know, I know. Well, I mean, hell, it's memorial day. It's memorial day. That's what I mean. I I'm obviously listening I'm unapologetically American. I tell people black Americans love America the most because we still love this country after all the shitty stuff it's done to us. We still are Americans. So to me, we are the most proud patriots because we still manage to represent this country, we still go on the service, we still serve our communities when the country has told us 20 times over they don't give a fuck about us and we still show up. So no one can question our patriotism. We don't need to wear fucking flags on our forehead and fly them on our trucks to prove that to people. Thank you very much. However, so yeah, I but I'm not like one who loves celebrating all the holidays, especially now. Fourth of July, you're not gonna catch me doing too much. But Memorial Day is not about just that, it's about the people who selflessly serve. So no, I think it's we have to mention, we have to talk about it. I want to do an episode talking to some women in the service and just what that sacrifice is like to be away from your family, to you know, be all the things that are a wife and a mother, and then be a freaking soldier, a fighter. Like that's crazy to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:54

Yeah, yeah. That is that's yeah, that's a that's that's a sacrifice in its own category because I couldn't, I really couldn't imagine.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:02

Truly.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:03

So we want to give respect to all the fallen soldiers and to their families, and we appreciate and we thank you for your sacrifice and while you're both on a daily that you're swimming and cooking and enjoying yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:20

Remember that that's happened because of people like my brother-in-law, like your cousin, who put themselves on the literally on the line, so we could. Yeah. Well, group chat.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:34

If you didn't know it was by now, this was a free form. It was it was uh on the phone with Ashley and Keila. On the phone, on the beat.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:42

Hello. Are we doing are we doing the summer um playlist episode next week?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:49

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:50

Everybody, you guys know how I love our playlist episodes. I gotta.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:54

Yes, we're gonna we're gonna put together a summer playlist for you guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:58

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:59

I mean sunroof open, windows down kind of playlist, y'all. Don't listen, don't listen to it with the windows up and AC on. No, you gotta put the window, you gotta let the neighbors know what you're listening to. Top down. Hang your foot out the window. Yeah, you're catching the air. Well, I'm gonna have Sheldon drive and I'm gonna go through the sunroof. Let's you know, he would be so he would be like, what the hell is wrong? I said, you don't know. I was definitely that girl that hang hung out the window. I was who sat on the roof while the car was moving. I was definitely that girl. The first time that I ever rode on a roof, I was 11 years old and our roommate was driving down the street. She started something, she don't even know what she started. I felt so free. I felt so free. It was such it was like a little sedan. There's just no way. Absolutely not. My mom had no idea until we did.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:52

I'm like, what if you would have fell off the damn car?

SPEAKER_01 1:34:55

I felt so free. And then so I became one of those girls that sat out on the window. Yeah, very dangerous. No, I don't recommend that. If you see your kids doing it, whoop their ass so they know that it's that serious and that dangerous.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:06

When I first got my Jeep, I let my son like stand up. You know what I mean? Like when I had to cut the roof off or whatever. Yeah. And he was really into it, but he's such a scary nerd. You know it lasted for like two minutes. And he was like, all right, let me know. Like he thought I was cool, but he's so scary.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:19

So I was like, Yeah, you just said zombie calling him scary. No, no, no. He's very cautious. He's very scary.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:24

One thing about it, he's gonna follow the rules. He's gonna follow the rules for safety. That's amazing. For safety, not for like following directions because I said go to bed and stop playing the game. Not those.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:34

See, my middle son. He is, he is very much a rule follower. However, he is still one of the biggest rule breakers at the same time and then expects other people to fall in line. So we're working on that.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:45

Truly, truly, truly.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:46

Working on that. You can't be so bossy and not want to follow. You understand the rules. I deserve justice, but you don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:55

Justice thing, girl. I said, I really hope you become like a civil rights attorney, because goddamn.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:03

Okay. Okay, group chat, we're gonna go because we can keep rambling. We'll always find a way to connect something to something else. So we're gonna go. And we can't wait till our on the aux episode. Bring a drink, get in the car. Yeah. Get it, get in, get it, get it. All right, we love you.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:25

Bye, my sexy girls gays and days.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:27

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:02

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SPEAKER_01 1:38:46

Hey group chat, it's Akilah and Ashley from Two Things Can Be True.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:50

Here's the truth: no one tells you about the women living the lives you admire. Their lives didn't just happen by accident. They designed them.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:01

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SPEAKER_00 1:39:23

Because two things can be true. You can love the life you have now and still design the life you've been dreaming about. Download your chapters now in our stand store. Your next chapter isn't waiting, it's yours to design.