Silencing the Old Voice: Reclaiming Creativity and Self-Worth After 40 ~ Bonus Episode

Episode Description ✨ 🌿 💛

What happens when a woman finally stops believing the voice that told her she wasn’t enough?

In this episode, we sit down with Rae of Sunshine Art, who shares her courageous journey of reclaiming her identity through creativity after years of self-doubt rooted in childhood trauma. For most of her life, Rae believed she wasn’t meant to be an artist — until midlife became the moment she chose to listen to a different voice.

Rae opens up about how art became a powerful form of therapy during some of her darkest seasons and why midlife can be a profound time for healing, empowerment, and self-discovery. Through blending color on canvas, Rae began breaking generational cycles, challenging negative self-talk, and giving voice to parts of herself that had been silenced for years.

This conversation is a reminder that confidence isn’t required to begin — courage is.

If you’re a woman over 40 navigating healing, personal growth, or a desire to reconnect with who you truly are, this episode will meet you right where you are and remind you: it’s never too late to become who you were always meant to be.

Episode Timestamps

🎨00:00 — The Courage to Create
 Rae shares how her art journey with a brave decision to quiet the inner critic.

🎨07:17 — Art as Therapy and Healing
 How creativity became a safe outlet for processing trauma and supporting mental health.

✨13:48 — Breaking Generational Cycles
 Rae reflects on releasing inherited narratives and choosing a new path forward.

💛16:39 — Empowerment Through Expression
 Finding strength, voice, and self-trust through artistic expression in midlife.

If you’re a woman over 40 navigating healing, self-discovery, or a desire to reconnect with who you truly are, our e-book https://catalystcoach2.gumroad.com/l/lksdsv is a gentle guide to support you on that journey. 

Work With Us

Ready to begin your own journey of self-discovery and empowerment? Learn more about our coaching or book a clarity call:
 https://calendar.app.google/KdaZWs9gmMBXciet9

Begin your journey with the Awakened Woman Workbook—full of tools, prompts, and practices we use in our coaching program.
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 https://catalystcoach2.gumroad.com/l/lksdsv?_gl=1*zkl23a*_ga*MTkyNDgyNzY3NS4xNzY0OTY3ODY0*_ga_6LJN6D94N6*czE3NjUxNDA1ODMkbzUkZzEkdDE3NjUxNDA1OTkkajQ0JGwwJGgw

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Transcript

Jessie B (00:01.616)
Okay, so welcome to another episode of next chapter women she blooms in solitude Today's episode is from you can't to I can Rewriting identity in midlife and we are really excited to spotlight one of our incredible community members Rae from Rae of sunshine art Rae's art journey didn't begin with confidence. It began with courage After a lifetime of believing a voice that told her that she would never be an artist

Jessie B (00:30.152)
Rae chose to listen to a different one. With love, support, and willingness to try, she began blending colors on canvas and art happened. And today she's here with us to share her journey. So thank you for being here. Yeah. And I will mute myself here and let you fill in. You could start and fill in any gaps and provide a glimpse into your personal life or anything you want to touch on that I.

Jamie (00:45.622)
Thank you.

Maureen Mansi (00:45.637)
Welcome Rae.

Jessie B (00:58.78)
missed while introducing you.

Jamie (01:02.263)
Okay, you did, I mean that's basically it. It was just spite. was literally spite for that little girl. the whole reason I started too is, she would lock me in the closet a lot. The walk in and take the light. And then the piece, Torment right here.

This is the one I'd like to highlight because this is the different faces I would see when I was locked up in that closet for I don't even know how long.

Jessie B (01:34.441)
Wow.

Jamie (01:35.639)
And then if you could see this guy right here, like right there, just follow him.

Jessie B (01:44.415)
Yes.

Maureen Mansi (01:46.767)
Yeah, yes. Yeah, I see it.

Jamie (01:49.634)
They would follow me like that in the dark. So I wanted to get it. I'm not starting this, you know, sharing my story to like, you know, get sympathy. I can't afford therapy because who the heck can? And my art journey started as a therapeutic because the time I started it, I was seeing a therapist and they highly encouraged it. But because of insurance, we couldn't finish it, you know, so.

She said, the journey. And I did. And she told me, that voice in your head is wrong. Don't listen to that voice. And my loving, amazing, wonderful husband went, sorry, he went and me the supplies and said, go do it, just do it. Don't worry about her voice. Her voice is wrong. Do it. Well, it happened. In fact, my award winner, won my first time last year, this May of 2025.

Oh, we're in a new year now. I actually won, I entered a show in 1 for 3rd place.

Jessie B (02:54.048)
That's amazing.

Maureen Mansi (02:55.481)
Awesome, congratulations.

Jessie B (02:57.96)
Yeah. And I know that Maureen and I have, like, we're going to alternate back and forth with our questions, but I just wanted to add before Maureen asked that, we, were new on Facebook around, I would say like around August is when we started bringing our coaching business to Facebook. And I know that you were one of, one of the first connections that we've had. And I have truly enjoyed just your art and

Jamie (03:04.367)
you

Jessie B (03:26.59)
you sharing your journey. It's nothing short of amazing. So with that, I'll let Maureen go ahead.

Maureen Mansi (03:32.881)
Yeah, yeah, thank you Rae so much and you have so much courage to be here and the fact that you're using your art to work through what you're going through is pretty powerful stuff. share your area of expertise or what you're currently working on. I mean, was that the piece that you showed us or are you working on something new?

Jamie (03:56.077)
It's actually a secret because I got my very first, New Year's Eve, my very first paying customer. Thank you. I'm working on an ambidextrous set. I can paint two canvases at once with three brushes in each hand. Yeah. And this piece that I, that unlocked that was my award winner, Osaru.

Maureen Mansi (04:04.741)
Congratulations, I saw that. That's awesome. Good for you.

Jamie (04:24.843)
This one helped me. Last year it was really bad. It was really bad. And this bad boy is the that won third.

Maureen Mansi (04:33.089)
It's beautiful. Can you tell us like what some of the things in it mean? Like where was your head when you decided to like come up with this piece and start putting all these colors together? And I see like a swirly like motion thing going on here. Can you explain some of that?

Jamie (04:51.286)
Yeah.

Hold on. Actually, lighting is really bad. Sorry about that. Hold on. Okay, so.

was tired of the depression. was tired of the, want it all to end. I'm just tired of being here. Nonsense. I was over it. So I went, let's do something bright. Let's change your mindset.

So all the bright pleat pieces that you see in the details are when it was pretty dark in my life. And if you see the brightest parts right here, that's when I wanted to give up. That's when I just said I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't.

And the dark spots, which if you see, there's not very many. Those are the times that I actually had a bright spot through that year where I was going, I knew I was going to be okay. And it won me third place. And if you look at the details on some of the sides of that thing, it's just incredible.

Jessie B (05:43.978)
Wow.

Maureen Mansi (05:53.987)
talented. Thank you. Yeah, beautiful. Thank you.

Jamie (05:55.265)
Thank you. It looks like it's wild. Well, and I suppressed that gift for too long because of my mom and I just got tired of listening to that. Like, and let me say, my dad wouldn't peach either. When he was drunk, he would call me a useless piece of S-H-I-T. So, I mean, I'm a kid. So it wasn't good from both ends. One parent wasn't better than the other.

Jessie B (06:23.016)
So there's a lot to dive into with that. But I also, before we go there as Maureen, to kind of go off what Maureen was asking you about your artwork there, one thing I've observed is I've been checking you out and looking at your artwork on Facebook is you have, there's pieces there. I don't know if you mentioned this or you brought this up, but there's parts that almost look like chains.

Like there's details that looks like chains. Is that intentional or is that just something that just came out?

Jamie (06:56.746)
think it's any more intentional than, that's pretty good observation. Wow. Wow. That's wow. I don't think it's any more intentional than the faces. Cause if you look through my art, you see faces hiding throughout it, through any of my pieces, really, if you look, you get to stare at them and find them. I like to do that too. I guess I think that's part of being an artist is I just like to sit there and look at my work and it's kind of meditative. I didn't notice the chains. I'm going to look at

Jessie B (07:13.353)
Yeah.

Jessie B (07:30.29)
Is every, are all the faces only faces that you saw when you were locked in the closet? Or are there other faces there too?

Jamie (07:41.591)
It's not just the closet, it's...

I don't wanna say the voice is in my head, but the face is in my head telling me I can't when I'm useless and worthless. Like, there's faces associated with that, too. Honestly. Yeah. Hey, I my notes! I was sitting on a-

Maureen Mansi (07:54.865)
Yeah, when you

When you say that your art is your meditation like I was thinking about that today before we got on here that I meditate Regularly, and I was wondering if that was that was your meditation You know your art just going in to this place and it just comes out on paper and or your canvas Just everything I mean, it's pretty amazing. You're very very talented right and I mean but for your And I know that you have such a painful

past but for you to be able to put that on paper so beautifully it kind of rewrites the story a little bit by especially with your last of the colors and how they became brighter and from you know just from the first piece that you showed us so wow I'm impressed I mean really really great job

Jamie (08:50.892)
Thank you very much It really just started out as a therapeutic and I swear my 40s is my midlife crisis of me Doing the stuff that I was told as a child that I couldn't I also side note I in middle school I was published twice in high school once for my poetry and my mom said the same thing about my poetry as she did my art and I Quit listening to that too. And I pinned my very first

verse, very rough draft verse to my spoken word piece, I wanna accompany torment.

Jessie B (09:29.096)
Well, and

Jamie (09:29.748)
I've never done that. I've never- oof. That one makes me nervous to reveal, but here we are. Hi!

Jessie B (09:36.352)
So, so let's I was going to ask you, when did this? When did this journey of healing begin for you? Like, how long ago was that? Was it not until you hit midlife that you started to explore, you know, how you could heal from those things? Talk about talk about that part.

Jamie (10:00.615)
Well, at the time, like I said, I was seeing a therapist and they before we couldn't anymore. They were telling me just to ignore it and explore the things you never got to do. Just just try it. What could go wrong? So I did. She was two. She was two. So about six years ago. wow. Wow. And I didn't decide to go public.

and Facebook reveal it and try to make a brand and actually make some money from it, know? Into my passion to something, because I want to be able to buy the house outright and just be done with it, you know? That's my goal, and I can do it, but... It just started six years ago! I just started blending colors on canvas and then I think it was April of last year, I just went public and said, well, I mean, I can take it all down if they say no, I... Metaphorically...

punched my past mother in the face. But what triggered all this, she slid into dementia pretty quick. Is it karma? mean...

My sister lives in Washington. I live in the middle of nowhere in Nevada. We had to do what we could to get her under public guardianship and get her safe because she ran someone over and doesn't remember she did. And that's kind of what triggered it. I don't know why that, but that catastrophic event is what did it. And then all the flak I got from family for doing it when none of them, the only person that actually stepped up to help was because she was getting paid for it.

And now they've disappeared. I haven't heard a thing. know, and I don't... It was that. Because just seeing somebody that was such a volatile force in my life to see her crumble down to that.

Jamie (11:54.045)
I just says, know what? I don't have to listen to that voice anymore, mom. I'm done. And then boom, art.

Maureen Mansi (12:03.025)
here you are and we're really happy to hear your voice and your experience through this with your art. It's beautiful. So thank you so much.

Jamie (12:16.616)
You're very welcome.

Jessie B (12:18.142)
I feel like I heard you talk about, so your family gave you pushback. Like when you decided to come out and share this amazing talent that you have, okay, and your family is, it sounds like, tell us about that. They're not having it. They're giving you pushback. They're not liking what you're sharing.

Jamie (12:39.59)
think about the art because they're banned from my art page and they're banned from my personal page. They were giving me flak for how we handled the situation with my mom but none of them were there to step up and like I said the only one that did was because she got picked.

So they were giving me pushback for that and I just banned them all and then there was a one last betrayal by my mom and another family member where I just said, you know what? F you, I'm done. I don't care. You love her so much. She wants to cheat you like the son that, you know, she never had then you know what? You go take care of her. Not my problem anymore because by all rights, we didn't have to do me and my sister because she tortured her too. My sister has some

Jessie B (13:11.892)
Yeah.

Jamie (13:27.45)
Issue she's trying to work through to because of what she put her through as well So it's not just like I'm making this up, but the family is saying that so that's part of the you know reason I just went public with the trauma because

They were burying me and my sister without our side of the story. And I was tired of it. So that's another reason I went out with it too.

Maureen Mansi (13:52.227)
Rae, so let's you know, this is you know, really painful stuff that you're having to one touch here But what you know on a different note like what are you excited about today? Being able to speak out about you know, your art that's you know become such a part of your life and healing Like what are you excited about today?

Jamie (14:15.497)
I think my story helps others. I'm really excited that this might be... Who can afford therapy? I'm just hoping that this is a way for others to say, I'm not going to listen to that voice anymore that told me I cannot do it. I want them to know that absolutely, yes, you can. And as women, we're subjugated and not valued anyway. So as the fellow woman...

Screw that voice, screw society, screw the macho man telling you can't do it. Go do it. Just go do it.

Jessie B (14:50.824)
Yeah, I feel like this is a I don't know how you feel, but midlife feels like a perfect time to do this. In a lot of ways we start to being a parent in general. I know I've mentioned this to Maureen before it being a parent, there's nothing that forces you to confront your childhood and your past more than being a than parenting your own child things come up.

Jamie (15:19.485)
Breaking generational curses is hard and that's what I am trying to do because I was going to repeat that cycle if I didn't freaking do something about it and I'm not doing that. I'm I'm not. She's too precious. She's amazing. She drives me absolutely bonkers, but they're supposed to. She's smart. Homeschooling her is a breeze because she loves to learn and she's already doing, she's not even eight yet.

Jessie B (15:19.54)
I don't know if you find that true.

Maureen Mansi (15:21.073)
Absolutely.

Jamie (15:45.106)
but she's already doing three-digit addition and subtraction and learning multiplication, I teach her with an abacus. That's why.

Jessie B (15:54.122)
Wow.

Jamie (15:56.25)
And guess what? Guess who's a little artist herself. And she won second place in the same contest I won third in, for in the Kid Division. So proud her.

Jessie B (16:06.63)
It's hot.

Maureen Mansi (16:06.745)
So you're her biggest cheerleader too. So all we can do is we can rewrite our story and redo things differently than how we grew up. And that's what it's all about. You're either gonna repeat or you're gonna change it. And Rae it looks like you're doing a pretty good job of, you know, doing that. So proud of you. Really proud of you.

Jessie B (16:23.658)
Yeah.

Jamie (16:28.488)
Thank you.

Jessie B (16:31.732)
Yeah, because it's very, it's bold. People stay stuck, people stay in these cycles forever. They stay in them forever and they repeat and they repeat. like, by work, by choosing you, you're choosing you to do that inner work and to heal and look what's resulted. Look at the beauty that's come out from you making that choice. I mean, it just...

It blows me away. It's all right there visible to us. So, you know, kudos to you. And I do, I wanted to ask that, like, was there anything... So you talked about when you were a child, like your mom, I don't know if it was your dad too, just like putting you down and you know how you're never going to be an artist. You're never going to, you're never going to... Was that the thing, albeit this is huge and enough for anybody that was holding you back?

And was it, just to make sure I'm getting this right, was it therapy? Like that was the point that took you back to art? I just want to make sure I have, you know, the story right.

Jamie (17:42.402)
it was therapy and she like I said the therapist at the time says she just said go for it it's the best thing I could do and I did and it really just started off with me mentioning it to my husband God love his soul and he went and surprised me because I was having a really bad I have to seasonal depression obviously depression issues look you know I mean high so he went and and bought the heart supplies and surprise me with it

He sent me off somewhere to go do something so we could have it all set up and ready. And then I can't remember where it is, it's all, and he says, you need to do this. You need to do this, need to past what your mom did to you.

Jessie B (18:17.46)
No!

Jamie (18:26.663)
And he's been nothing but encouragement. And even I even went into one of those old-fashioned artist fits, know, because that's how we are. And I went to throw my supplies away and stuff and he stopped me and says, don't do that. You're just angry. You know, don't do that. And I have anger issues and my arts actually helped me with that too. A lot. Because I don't want to be my mom or my dad. don't... I want to be my mom. It's gross.

Jessie B (18:50.419)
Yeah.

Are there things that you do daily, routines and habits that you've built into your life right now that keep you in this healing space?

Jamie (19:08.44)
In the morning, I, distract her with, you know, she's fed, she's got her needs. And for two hours, I know this is dumb, but I sit and just either paint or just...

There's other things I do to relax and I just, you forget find my mom for an hour. Cause she's fine, I can hear her. I can hear her. I can hear her.

Maureen Mansi (19:34.737)
Well, that's not dumb. Rae, You're taking time for yourself and you're doing stuff that works for you. Whatever you feel you need to do for yourself, your routines in the morning or whenever they come, that's something for you. And if that gives you peace, that's not dumb. These are for you and these are the things that relax you and get you creative and help you be a better mother, a better wife. And it sounds like your husband's pretty darn supportive.

Jamie (20:04.481)
dude.

Maureen Mansi (20:04.701)
really really excited that you found a great man because you deserve that.

Jamie (20:08.104)
I've given them reason to want to Well, like I said last year was bad. We both wanted to pack up and leave but we realized that it was just too much to Give away. mean I can't It's too much. He's really been so supportive. He's I Don't think if honestly if I didn't marry him Because he's the reason I incurred him. He encouraged the therapy as well. So he's literally the catalyst for all this

And if I didn't marry him, I'm not even sure I would've.

tried. Or if we were married but not like, you know, a good couple or whatever like last year was if that time if we were like we were last year then I probably would not have even tried. So it's it's a lot. It's mostly because of him because his he like I said he told me to go to therapy, he encouraged it and he you know I told you about how I came home and found everything ready for me so

Yeah, he's- he's- he's a lot of reason to bring while I'm trying to as well be better and break the curse of, you know, the best.

Maureen Mansi (21:17.905)
and break the curse of the various. Well, I'm glad that he's supportive of you and he kept you on the path that you're going. So I just wanted to ask, we're going to end with this parting piece of guidance and the best way we can connect with you. This is the place to share your upcoming offerings with us. So go ahead, Rae.

Jamie (21:43.758)
well, I don't have a shop yet, but I am on Facebook. Rae of sunshine art on Facebook, also Instagram and Tik Tok as well. Rae of sun Rae of sunshine on that one. So,

Jamie (22:05.595)
I haven't, kinda wanna show you what I'm working on, but I don't, cause it's like really, I promised her, cause she's my first customer and my first top fan. So she gets exclusive everything. So I can't really, don't, it's really cool because I call them my black velvet set. I think you guys have seen on Facebook, the black ones that aren't really black, they're shiny and they're textured and they're all colored. Well, I'm making her, I'm trying to do a series and that's gonna be the next one, but more pink in it.

and more more black light in it where like you can kind of tell it's glowing but you can't it's a trick of the eyes kind of thing so I'm really excited to reveal it to you when I get done

Thank you.

Jessie B (22:46.774)
that's fun. And I love the first part too, Maureen, of what you were asking about. Do you have a parting piece of guidance or anything for people listening that you would want to offer them?

Jamie (23:00.314)
Do it. Just do it. Ignore the voice and just do it.

Let's... Let's mic-e it. Here, we're gonna mic-e it, right here. Just do it. Do the thing!

Maureen Mansi (23:06.309)
Just do it. Just do it. It's the best way to be.

Jessie B (23:12.946)
That's, yeah, that's awesome. I love it. love it. wow. Rae You know, thank you so much for your honesty and bravery today was I know that your story is going to land deeply for many women. Your story. Yeah, it's just a reminder that reclaiming ourselves takes courage, but it's never, ever too late to begin. And so thank you for like showing us what's possible.

Maureen Mansi (23:15.289)
We hear ya!

Jamie (23:29.199)
My hope.

Jamie (23:42.026)
I might take up drumming.

Maureen Mansi (23:45.423)
Wow, I'm drumming.

Jamie (23:46.348)
Yeah, I want to build. My daughter does too. Like she doesn't need drumsticks. She can drum on anything. So I want to do some other daughter drumming lessons because my mom said the same thing. And if I can paint ambidextrously with three brushes in each hand and twirl them and beat to it, I can do it.

Jessie B (24:05.544)
Yeah, and so it's definitely I have I yeah, I recently checked out your YouTube channel because we kind of connected and talked, you know about having a channel but I've already like I said previously seen a lot of your stuff on Facebook. I feel like people can get a really good glimpse into you and your work on Facebook. So yeah, you definitely need to check out Rae of Sunshine Art.

Jamie (24:05.636)
So, I'll you time.

Maureen Mansi (24:06.053)
Yeah. You go girl. The sky's the limit.

Jessie B (24:30.546)
It's awesome. Also, if you are watching this and you're a woman over 40 who's on your own healing or identity journey, we wrote the Identity Reset Workbook to support you right where you are. It's linked below if you'd like to explore that. So thank you again for being here and until next time.

Jamie (24:49.181)
Great. Bye.

Maureen Mansi (24:49.745)
Thank you Rae. Appreciate you. Appreciate you.