Diary of a Cat Mom
Diary of a Cat Mom is a reflective cat podcast created and hosted by Dagmar Gatell about understanding cats more deeply — and creating a calmer, more connected life for both you and your cats.
Based on real experiences caring for over 50 cats throughout her life, each episode shares quiet observations, emotional moments, caregiving reflections, and gentle insights from everyday life with cats. From routines, behavior, and emotional wellbeing to grief, gratitude, overstimulation, trust, and the small meaningful moments many people overlook — this is not a traditional “how-to” podcast, but a space for understanding, awareness, and lived experience.
Beyond cat care itself, Diary of a Cat Mom also explores our connection to nature, emotional presence, personal growth, and the way our inner state can influence the animals who share our lives. Because living with cats is never only about feeding and routines — it’s also about energy, safety, trust, patience, and how we show up emotionally in the spaces we create together.
Created for cat lovers who see their cats as family, this podcast offers companionship, reassurance, perspective, and emotional support during seasons of caregiving, uncertainty, healing, change, and letting go.
Diary of a Cat Mom is a personal storytelling podcast and does not replace professional veterinary advice. Every cat is unique, and medical or behavioral concerns should always be discussed with a trusted veterinarian or qualified professional.
You’re not alone on this journey.
We’re learning, loving, and growing together — one paw print at a time.
Diary of a Cat Mom
Can I Hold My Cat By the Scruff? Seeing It From My Cat's Perspective | Understanding Cats | Ep. 97
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Can you pick up an adult cat by the scruff?
Many cat parents learned that scruffing was a normal way to gain control during difficult situations like carrier trips, medication, or handling a frightened cat. I learned it too when I adopted my first rescue cat, Sheiba.
In this episode of the Diary of a Cat Mom podcast, I share why I used scruffing in the past, what I later learned about how adult cats experience it, and how seeing the situation from my cat's perspective changed the way I handle my cats today.
This episode isn't about guilt. It's about learning, growing, and strengthening the trust we share with our cats.
What You'll Hear in this Cat Podcast Episode
- Why many cat parents were taught to use scruffing
- The difference between carrying kittens and handling adult cats
- What feline experts say about lifting cats by the scruff
- Why a cat becoming limp may not always mean they are relaxed
- How I safely pick up and support my cats today
- Why trust and emotional safety matter during handling
Timestamps & Chapters
00:00 Can I Hold My Cat By the Scruff?
00:38 How I Learned About Scruffing
01:21 Seeing the Situation From My Cat's Perspective
02:03 Why Adult Cats Are Different From Kittens
02:41 What Experts Say About Scruffing
03:22 How I Pick Up My Cats Today
04:14 Trust Matters More Than Control
04:49 Learning To Be A Better Cat Mom
This is where I’ve gathered everything that supports me and my cats:
https://diaryofacatmom.com/cat-care-resources/
About the Diary of a Cat Mom Podcast
Diary of a Cat Mom is a personal cat podcast created by Dagmar Gatell, sharing real moments from life with cats. Everything shared comes from lived experience as a cat mom and is not intended as professional veterinary advice. Every cat is unique, and for health concerns, it’s always best to consult your trusted veterinarian.
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Diary of a catmom. Can I hold my cat by her scratch? This is diary of a catmom. Before I had my first cat, my Russian Plu Shibie, I had a cat loving friend who rescued furrow cats. She would trap them, get them neutered or spayed, and if they could be socialized, help them finding a loving home. That was really the first time I heard about holding a cat by her scruff. The idea was that if you needed control over a difficult situation, putting a cat into a carrier, moving a frightened cat, or handling a cat while wearing protective gloves, the scruff could help you safely manage the situation. So when I adopted Chibi, I did the same thing. If I needed to get her into a carrier or stop her from doing something she wasn't supposed to do, I would gently hold her by her scruff while supporting her body with the other hand. At the time I felt like I was doing the right thing because it gave me control of the situation and helped me getting things done. Then I came across information that made me stop and think. Not from my perspective as a cat mum, but from the cat's perspective. Because what I learned is that kittens and adult cats are totally different. Mother cats, yeah, they carry the little tiny kittens by the straugh because the kitten's bodies are lightweight and built for that stage of light. But the adult cats, however, they're much heavier and their bodies are no longer designed to be lifted that way. Many vets and feline behavior experts, they recommend not lifting or carrying adult cats by the scruff because it can be uncomfortable, stressful, and potentially place strain on their neck and spine. Something else surprised me. Sometimes when a cat is scruffed, they become very still and limp. For years, many people thought this is how they can calm down a cat or how a cat would cooperate. But now, according to feline behavior experts, that stillness may actually be a stress response rather than relaxation. And that made me pause. Because as cat parents, we often look at behavior from our side of the situation. Because the cat stopped struggling, the task became much easier, the carrier doors closed, the medicine got given, the job got done. But what was the cat experiencing during that moment? That question really changed how I think about handling my cats now. Today, when I need to pick up one of my cats, I focus on supporting their whole body. I place one hand underneath the chest and behind the legs, and my other hand supports the hint and the back legs. So in this way I can lift them smoothly and keep them close to my body so that they feel secure and supported. So and now I want to be honest. If I absolutely had to intervene in any emergency situation where cat safety was at risk, my first priority would be still protecting my cats, whatever it takes. But like for the everyday handling cat carriers or routine care, I try to use methods that create the least amount of stress possible to my cats. And the older I get as a cat mom, the more I realize that getting something done is only one part of the equation. How my cats experiencing that moment matters the most. And one of the beautiful things about sharing our lives with cats is that we always learn. Sometimes we learn something new about nutrition, another time about health. And sometimes we learn that something we thought was helping may not feel the same way from our cat's perspective. So for me, this wasn't about feeling guilty for something I did years ago, but it was simply another opportunity to become a better cat mom. Because at the end of the day, I deeply love my cats. And I always want to do what's best for my cats to create trust and safety and understanding for both of us. Thank you for being part of my diary of a cat mom. Don't miss the next entry. There's always another little moment, another lesson, another story waiting to be shared. I will talk to you in the next entry. Diary, we are a cat mom.