Diary of a Cat Mom

Cat Kisses | How to Build Trust With Your Cat | Ep. 122

By Dagmar Gatell — Creator & Host of Diary of a Cat Mom Season 1 Episode 122

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0:00 | 4:32

When we love someone, we naturally want to look into their eyes. But cats see eye contact differently.

In this Diary of a Cat Mom podcast episode, I share how a stressful vet visit reminded me that trust isn't built during difficult moments—it's built through the small interactions we have every day.

You'll learn why slow blinking is often called a "cat kiss," how cats naturally show affection to each other, and why understanding their love language can strengthen your relationship.

Whether your cat enjoys cuddles or prefers keeping a little distance, every cat has its own unique way of saying, "I trust you."

What You'll Learn In This Cat Podcast Episode

  • Why staring can feel threatening to cats
  • What "cat kisses" really are
  • The three ways cats naturally show affection
  • How slow blinking can strengthen trust
  • Why every cat has a different love language

Timestamps & Chapters

  • 00:00 Introduction
  • 00:31 Why cats don't like direct staring
  • 01:18 How I use slow blinking as cat kisses
  • 02:23 Three ways cats show affection
  • 03:34 Every cat has its own love language
  • 04:08 My biggest takeaway

Diary of a Cat Mom is a gentle, diary-style cat podcast about everyday life with cats—created especially for cat moms 35+ in multi‑cat homes who see their cats as family.

Resources for Cat Parents
Everything I use for my cats is here: https://diaryofacatmom.com/cat-care-resources/

About the Diary of a Cat Mom Podcast

Diary of a Cat Mom is a personal cat podcast created by Dagmar Gatell, sharing real moments from life with cats. Everything shared comes from lived experience as a cat mom, not intended as professional veterinary advice. Every cat is unique, and for health concerns, always consult your trusted veterinarian.

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SPEAKER_00

Diary of a cat mom. Cat Kisses. How to get them. Welcome to Diary of a Cat Mom. Have you ever wished your cat would show you more affection? Today I want to share something that has made a huge difference in my relationship with my cats. Ironically, it was after I had a really difficult day at the vet with one of them. It was stressful for both of us and moments like that always remind me how important trust really is. As humans, our first instinct is often to look directly in the eyes of someone we love. With cats is different. A hard stare can actually feel threatening to them. In the cat world, staring is often a challenge. It's something cats may do before confrontation or when they are trying to establish dominance. So even though we are looking at them with love in our eyes, they may not experience it that way. Instead, I do something much simpler. I look at my cats and I slowly blink. Sometimes I keep my eyes mostly open and blink very slowly. Other times I slowly close my eyes, pause for a second, and gently open them again. I like to think of these as cat kisses. Over the years I've noticed how much comfort this gives my cats, especially the ones that are more timid or lower in the social hierarchy. When I slowly plink at them, I can almost see them relax. Many of them slowly plink back. And that's their way of telling me, I trust you and I love you, Mama. What's funny is that my more confident cats, they notice it too. If they see another cat getting these little cat kisses, they often come over because they want their turn as well. Of course, everybody gets cat kisses in this house. I've even used a slow blinking to interrupt tension between two of my more dominant cats. When I notice them staring at each other, I'll calmly call both of their names, and once they look at me, I slowly blink at each other and help shift their focus away from each other and back to me. It doesn't solve every disagreement, but it often softens a moment before it turns into something bigger. Cats there have several ways of giving what we mind call cat kisses. The first is a slow blink. Many feline behavior experts describe it as the cat equivalent of saying, I feel safe with you. Closing the eyes in front of someone is a vulnerable act for them. When our cats do that, it's a beautiful sign of trust. The second is a gentle nose touch. Cats who know each other often feel great by touching their noses. It's a friendly way to say hello and to exchange information through scent. And the third is rubbing their faces or forehead against us. When our cats rub their cheeks against our hand or they give us a little headband, they're leaving behind their scent. They're telling the world, you're part of my cat family. Some of my cats they do this constantly because they're very confident and affectionate. Others, they don't enjoy much physical contact at all. So those cats rarely rub against me, but they happily return my slow pling cat kisses. Ave learned not to judge them whenever they want to cuddle or not because every cat has its own love language. So the difficult vet visit today reminded me that trust isn't built during stressful moments. It's built every day through small, quiet interactions like that. Sometimes the greatest act of love isn't another cuddle or another kiss. Sometimes it's simply speaking our cat's language. Thank you so much for listening to Diary of a Cat Mom. There's always another little story, another message, another insight ready to be shared right around the corner. I will see you in the next entry. Diary of the cat mom.