Valentine's Edition - Psychosomatic Response & Not So Valentine's - Some Scary Stuff

In this episode of The Daydreamer Podcast, Kasia speaks openly about the realities of spirituality that are rarely discussed.

What begins with reflections on love, Valentine’s Day, and emotional patterns evolves into a deeper conversation about psychosomatic symptoms, anxiety, spiritual awakenings, and the importance of discernment on a spiritual path.

Kasia shares personal experiences of emotional suppression manifesting physically, explores why spirituality becomes more complex over time, and explains why intuition — not fear or blind faith — is essential when navigating spiritual growth.

This episode is for anyone who feels that spirituality isn’t always light and love, but a nuanced journey that requires grounding, emotional honesty, and self-trust.

A reminder that growth includes shadow, healing includes discomfort, and your intuition is your greatest protection - plus Archangel Michael :) 

Kasia Golda-Phillips

Transcript

0:02

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your host Kasha speaking. Welcome to the Daydreamer podcast. So, here we are. We are practically midFebruary. Um, the Valentine's Day is coming this Saturday. So, are you excited? Are you sad? Are you still waiting for someone you really like to to invite you out somewhere? Are you like me um in a long-term relationship and we planned going to the supermarket and buying meal deal this year? If you are not from the UK, you may not know that we have um like meal. This is a thing that happens all the time. People buy for lunches, but for Valentine's or Christmas, you have special occasions. So, you can get for a fixed price, let's say 18 to 25 quid. Um you can get may a starter main for two starter for two main for two side for two dessert for two and some bubbles for example. So yes so this is what we're doing. So very very excited. I'm still excited. I love to love I've always love to love. Um sorry a little sip of water. So, as you may, if you're watching on YouTube, you probably already noticed. Maybe you haven't, but I will tell you that I'm very committed. I am in a dress. I'm trying to show that has a lot of hearts on it. So, I'm in a theme. I'm also wearing tights that nobody can see and I won't be showing that, but I'm wearing tights that are covered in hearts. So, I am full on Valentine theme. Um, today's episode has nothing to do with Valentine's. I It's It's very interesting. It's almost like a dark continuation of um my gothy vibes that I'm going for recently. Maybe hearts are not the most gothy, but um I feel I feel a bit a bit darkness, like a positive darkness. Um, believe it or not, it there is something like that. So, I I want to talk a little bit about Valentine's still. So I want to know is it like not only are you looking forward um are you happy are you sad but also do you believe in Valentine's or is it something commercial commercial that you hate that um it's just another day to spend money or love has to be celebrated every day like what are your thoughts? My thoughts are like I like Valentine's. Um I used to hate Valentine's because I was looking for love for a very very long time and I I just couldn't find it. So Valentine's it was like um always a reminder of that time being alone and that was no fun at all. That typically made me very sad. I used to be in a place where I thought that um I will be just alone. My mom tells me that all the time that I kept telling her that I I am afraid I will die alone. This was literally um what I was thinking because I kept on choosing this is the important bit. I kept on choosing wrong men and I need to take a sip of water. Yeah, even though I felt like a victim of the circumstance, um to be honest after like some time like in a retrospective, I can see that um it was my doing. So, I knew these men weren't good for me. I knew they weren't available, but the more unavailable, the more I loved someone. And I believe that can change every circumstance around this person. Um, and you know, oh, they cheating on someone. Oh, yeah, they would never cheat on me because I'm the one blah blah blah. So, yeah, I've done stupid things. I waste, you see, this is the thing. I can't say I wasted that much time. Of course, I wasted years on stupid waiting for um like men that weren't for me. But if things turned out differently, maybe I wouldn't be single when I met my husband. So, it all led to the exactly the right place that I was supposed to be. Um, at the same time, I said that before, be careful with too much waiting. Um because like do you want to spend do you want to keep on waiting and dreaming through your 20s through your 30s through your 40s etc etc no you want to live a life so I was quite lucky that I woke up early I did a lot of therapy I did a lot of self um you know insight I did a lot of self-discovery I did a lot of work on myself so one day I just woke up completely like over someone and then six months later I met my hus my current husband. So yeah but it it it required a lot of tower moments. Tower I talk about tower all the time. Tower is a tarot card that means the thunder hits the tower actual tower and everything all the foundation just collapses. This is this sometimes it's the only way to change your life to destroy foundations that you already had so you can build new ones just better. You know, it's almost like um you have your personal inner world, your psyche is um foundation ma like made of[ __ ] t right um and you if you looked in there there's like trash uh there the the s things that I just said. um there's other horrible things there and then you wonder why you can't um build a better life because you changed so much and you started building from amazing brick and this roses coming through but so what if the first half the bottom half is just rubbish. So sometimes this bottom half has to fall and it's often painful. It's often very painful. It can also show up as some um like a physical uh physical symptoms. This is the the psychosmatic symptoms. I just want to let you know that psychosomatic symptoms are very sometimes tricky. They very they can really hide while pretending different illnesses. And I was because I'm a person that's very prone to anxiety and to psychosomatic responses. So I can tell you that I call it like a playing chess with my own brain. So I have some symptoms and I these symptoms are um they I figure out that they are psychosmatic symptoms. The second I figure out I take like control over them. But if I still haven't learned something and I'm still neglecting my emotions, my brain will come up with a different symptom that I will need also time to figure out. So it can be like playing chess. You will be you would be very surprised um the level of different illnesses that can um show up like the symptoms not necessarily illnesses the symptoms it can be you know dizziness weakness um having tingling in your arms and legs stomach is the most common that most people know. It can be like feeling like you can't swallow properly. something is in your throat. There can be extreme situations like um not being able to see for a moment. There's there's been a lot um brain is very very um smart, right? So it it may want to trick us to thinking we're ill and sometimes it's just like we need to take care of our emotions. So yeah, so when someone is being diagnosed with with anxiety or psychosmatic issues, it's very important to first figure out there's nothing physically wrong with you. But once everything is sorted that you you know physically there's nothing um then yeah you get on with the um talking therapies. Sometimes medications are necessary. I know I have two friends that ended up in neurological department in the hospital because of the nerves anxiety and the symptoms weren't that obvious. They did spend couple weeks in the in the hospital. One was fainting and the other one got a panic attack. Fainted. Oh no, that was the other uh the other one I was talking. Sorry, the one. Yeah, the one that ended up in the hospital. She said she felt like something cracked in her skull. It was so weird. And she started feeling really bad, really weird. And she spent like 3 weeks in the hospital. So yeah, and both of them turned out have nothing physically wrong with them. So tricky tricky. So that's part that part is about Valentine's emotions. Don't you know take care of your emotions, listen to them. If you see psychosomatic uh symptoms then you know or or some symptoms potentially you think might be psychological and what am I not hearing? What I'm not listening what is it that I don't want to hear? Yes. So that's it. And when I said that it was 111 um something that you don't want to hear. So that's an important message. Okay, now let's move on to the second part of today's video. I want to talk about something scary. I don't I don't want to scare anyone, but I think it's important to know if you're going into spiritual spirituality what you're getting yourself into. So first thing that I tell people is this is like um curtain when you are in a when I was a child and I was in like a school play school theater I um we always wanted to look like a look through the curtains at the audience but our teacher was like if you can see them they can see and it really stayed with me because that's the metaphor for I use when I talk to people about spirituality and opening um to different beings. So once you open up you see them they see you very difficult to close it. I'm not even sure how you I mean you could I guess repress it ignore it maybe very difficult. So you need to know if you're starting this journey that um yeah it it is very difficult to close it and that it's they will see you. You start feeling them, they see you. So you may start attracting different beings into your life. You may start or you start your journey with um amazing you know connections with your guides and amazing connection with um with angels and everything feels so uh rainbow and butterflies and flowers. Okay. But you may stay start getting nightmares. Not every nightmare is um demonic connected. Okay. But you may start getting nightmares. They might be connected with some beings that try to connect with you. There can be a lot of um sexual dreams because they like to try to connect for your root chakra making these dreams. Um they they seem to be like a sexual but this is in reality they're trying to connect onto you like connect onto your energy. Um, no panic. No panic, right? There are few like cleansing methods. Um, calling on Archangel Michael for help is always a good idea. This is like my favorite guide. Protector is actually my like forever guide. You know, guides come and go, but sometimes you have like a one guide that is with you from when you were born to the to the day you die. And this is I'm probably beyond. So this is Archangel Micah for me. Um but Archangel Mah is available to everyone and he's the he's a protector. So if you feel you need help with beings um you need some clues you want, you know, then be aware that Archangel Michael has a shield and sword and he can help. Um you can imagine him helping you cut off some beings. You can try, you know, imagining um light like a go over you and dissolving everything that's negative. You try. It doesn't always everything works. Sometimes some cases are more complicated. Um so yeah, that's a that's a part of a danger. you may start seeing black figures in the side of your eye. That that also happens. That happened to me many times um as a as a psychic medium. I've seen many things in my life. Um good, bad, neutral. So yes, you may start seeing. I mean actually seeing it's it's better than not seeing because if you have some parasitic entity, it may affect you. I I had a client who she saw something. I saw it when she was talking to me. Even before she said it, I saw something big and dark standing behind her. But she she se sees it sometimes. And it's she said that she sometimes she can get so angry that she feels like she's changing to someone else. And you can now dispute is this dark being causing this or has this dark being been like attracted to her because of this anger and gets like a feed energetic feed of her. Yes. So it's not always butterflies and rainbows. It's scary. I had a situation. It can be scary not scary. I had a situation as a kid. I did a lot. I did a lot of things I do not recommend. I did things like food dolls. Um, of course, finish with blood. I could you could I don't know you you won't be able to see what's going on because it's the scars on my hands are at this point quite um like small but I do have scars on my hands from when I was trying to get some blood for the voodoo dolls and I was doing magic and sometimes it was it wasn't to hurt people it was more like to get my own gain and it started to be a bit um selfish and a bit dark. And I had this situation. I was sitting in a circle and the crow hit the window. It made such a noise and you know crow black bird connected with magic. I almost got a heart attack. I was still in the middle of a magic and I I knew it was a warning. It was my it was my you know guides and my guardian angels saying stop just stop because you will get yourself in trouble you'll attract something you don't want to attract in your life and yeah and I stopped that was that of that was a intensive one so yes I I stopped I had the experience in my life um after a death of my uncle which I was attacked I I think they're called they're called fair in in in Polish fairies. It's not like fairies the ones the cute ones. It's um sorry I don't actually plan on saying that so I haven't researched how it's in English but this is these are the beings that are in between um two worlds the spirit world and the human world. So yeah, I was there was something opened his his death was a bit suspicious. There was a lot of negative feelings around um him passing. I don't want to get into details but yeah so there was a lot of negative energy. There was a lot of sadness that there was a lot of anger. It opened up um portal for these fairies to to come through and I had three nights of horror. I was like 15 14 something like that. One night um it was like a sleep paralysis thing. So people were like oh that was just sleep paralysis. I don't know. I don't think so. Um, first night I felt like hands grabbing me from underneath the bed and just wanting to pull me under the bed. I knew they wanted to pull me to the other side. Uh, so that was I managed to wake up and like fought them off. The second one, second night, I felt like someone was grabbing me at the chest and pulling me up like some, you know, demonic attack. And actually, third night, there wasn't an attack. It was someone was lying behind me and caressing me. It was almost like it's fine, you're safe, it's fine. But believe me, till today I cannot keep my leg to like I need to make sure that my leg is enough in on the bed. Um because I'm I just I just traumatized by that. So it had there are negative sides to to spirituality for sure. Um and now I want to talk about like a completely different perspective. Now at the beginning everything seems black and white but once you are very much into it you start realizing that not everything is that obvious. So there can be like beings that look like light but they might be fake or they're not necessarily that good might be selfish etc. And then you may find that there are things that are coming from the dark like even demons that are not necessarily bad. And I now I know that there will be people here cuz I've heard that before that uh they only live in the light and no no we don't talk to these beings that are dark etc. But I disagree. I've always felt this this duality in me. It's almost like a actually it's not a duality because I feel like it's part of me like this light and darkness. It's both part of me and I've always been um I've always been attracted to both and um like um you know Sumerian Inana that had she was portrayed as having almost like twin sisters because the bat and the um and the good one the you know uh Kali Indian Kali that is so uh so you know looks very scary but at the same time loves her soulmate. So there is this been a lot of goddesses like that and I very much I connect with that this having these two sides and recently I I've been yeah it's like I said in my Gothic era I've I've been seeing I actually stopped a bit um some dark figures around me also and I you know talked to my guide Michael like this is your friend right because yeah this is my darker side just again wanting to be explored. We shouldn't be rejecting any parts of ourselves. It's almost like a literal shadow, right? The shadow the yian shadow that um things that we present don't accept. So yes, so there is I I really I talked um this is the thing I I left this darker side because of fear. I'm quite a chicken. It's crazy. I'm just afraid of so many things. Um, so I left it for so like quite a while. I haven't been exploring the other side and now it's been calling back and it reminded me all these stories like I talked I even had like a guide who was demonic guide. He was so intelligent and um I wouldn't say he was he didn't feel like you can feel like um pure love or anything like that. No, it was more like um intelligent friend that you can talk about that sees um a bit cynical, sees um things slightly differently but not bad. not in any way bad. And yeah, like I like I said, I know for some people might be controversial. Oh no, you're getting you you're allowing someone access to you. It's like, you know, demonic. Yeah, I sure. I understand it can be it can be um dangerous and it might be a bit risky because you never know who really is that you're talking to. But believe me, you really not know. You never know who you're really talking to. Okay, maybe I'm not saying it right. You never know who you're really talking to. It's just it really requires much more focus and feeling to figure out who you're talking to. Is there a good intention? No matter do they look like beauty funelling or other guides or do they look demonic? You have to figure that out for yourself. You have to learn it. H because it's not as obvious. It's obvious only when you start. The more you go deeper into spirituality, the more it becomes confusing. I sometimes get like um when I have a new guide popping up, I'm like, do I really trust you? Yeah, I'm I can be a bit suspicious of new guides. Sometimes I have a feeling I need to just trust and sometimes I stay a bit suspicious. So yeah, so you just need to keep your wits, right? You just need to make your own assessments and um just think be use your own judgment. Use your own intuition. Don't let like love bombing like from the other side like happen like don't let don't let it um really just just you know be a bit on guard. Um another things that's controversial I mean I love angels and I love working with angels but there is quite a lot of conspiracy theories that angels are not good or selfish etc. My personal view is that probably people that say that don't talk to angels, they are talking to some fake angels or like beings that not really good, not that high that they're portraying themselves as angels. A huge light is it's not that difficult for them to show what you want to see. That's why you need to use we're really equipped with our own skills to determine this skill has to be trained but we are we are not defenseless. We have a lot of power to take control of the situations really bad situations. Just remember this is what if there's anything that you know is grabbing your attention like something negative. Just remember you're stronger. Your soul is immortal. You are in this body. You are this energy. Just remember the strength that you carry that you can you are safe. And of course ask Archangel Michael believe he's he's good. He's um he's quite quite fatherly figure. So he he he is a bit I see him I mean he may be showing to different people sight it differently he has a very low voice very like it's almost vibrates it's so low um very big strong this like you feel authority like a love but like with authority um and it's not I wouldn't say it it represents like a tarot emperor rather than queen of cups. So it's stronger um a bit like stereotypical dad that doesn't fully show uh emotions as wear emotions on the sleeve but is a huge protector of the incarnated humanity. So yeah call on him. um he should be able to give you tips, help and other than that I think that was the message. I hope I didn't put anybody off. Um you know, spirituality, you just need to accept there's there's like a whole uh array of colors of what you can experience. And if your intuition saying you don't do something, just don't. Don't don't risk it, but also be brave to explore, right? Um go your own path. Ask your heart, ask your judgment. What is safe for you? Yeah. And so I want you, I wish you all to just stay safe. Use your intuition, use your judgment, but enjoy. Enjoy and explore. Spirituality can be a beautiful adventure. Thank you so much for today and talk to you soon. And of course, subscribe, review, comment, like, please. It really helps me to get to more people. Thank you so much. Bye-bye.