Feeling Flat? What to Do When You’ve Lost Your Mojo.

You’re functioning. Showing up. Meeting deadlines. Keeping plans.

But underneath it all, something feels off.

In this episode, I’m talking about the flat, restless feeling that can creep in even when life looks fine from the outside. The kind of season where you are doing what needs to be done, but the spark is not really there.

We explore why this is not always a motivation problem, why pushing harder often does not fix it, and what that low-energy, disconnected feeling may actually be pointing to.

This conversation is for women who look capable on the outside but know, privately, that something feels out of alignment. If you have been feeling flat, restless, low on energy, or quietly asking yourself, Is this all there is? this episode will give you a powerful new lens.

And if this resonates, I have two ways you can go deeper.

Softly Unshakeable is my free 90-minute immersion for intelligent, high-performing women who want to understand what happens inside them under pressure, reconnect with themselves, and begin building a steadier kind of inner power. CLICK HERE to learn more and register. 

The Soft Strength Salon is the next step for women who want to practise this work more deeply, in real time, and create a more grounded relationship with their truth, their voice, their desires, and the way they lead their lives. CLICK HERE to learn more and apply. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Hello, I'm Janelle Ryan. I'm so happy you're here. Let's dive in. I'm going to start today's episode with a question for you. Have you ever had a season or gone through a time where you're technically functioning, but you feel flat? You're doing the right things, meeting the deadlines, showing up to work, seeing friends, organizing plans, and yet something still feels off. You know, you feel restless or low energy, you have low energy, or you feel a bit flat or a bit, I don't know, gray, a bit blur. And then that thought turns up quietly at the worst possible moment. Is this all there is? Now, if you've been there, I want to start with something really important. There's nothing wrong with you. What you're describing is not a personality flaw. It's not you being ungrateful. It's not you failing at positivity. In my world, those are symptoms, not the cause. Because the way most of us respond to that restless, flat feeling is to treat it like a motivation problem. We try to pump ourselves up. We plan a holiday, we set a goal, we buy a notebook, we book a dinner, we decide we need a fresh start, and that fresh start will start on Monday. And sometimes that works for about 10 minutes. But then the feeling comes back. And the reason it comes back is because it was never asking for more energy. It was asking for something else. From what I've seen and heard and experienced, when women lose their mojo, it's often because they have disconnected from a really important part of themselves. The part that knows undeniably what they want, not what's expected, not what's next on the list, not what's logical, not what you used to want when you were 25 or even 35, not what looks good on paper. What you want now. And here's the part we don't talk about enough. Sometimes we have something we once wanted and we don't want it anymore. That, my friend, can be deeply unsettling because it forces a question we'd often rather avoid. If I don't want this, then what do I want? And this is where soft strength comes in. To me, soft strength is emotional intelligence in practice. It's your ability to feel what's true without armoring against it, without trying to outrun it, without immediately turning it into action, without overriding it with, well, I just should be grateful for everything I have. Because emotions don't live in your calendar, they live in your body. Your inspiration, your dreams, your desires don't live in your to-do list either. They live in your body. And desire is a quiet thing. It whispers. It does not yell. So if you're moving too fast in environments that are too loud with too much input and too little space, you're not going to be able to hear that whisper. And when you can't hear it, you default to chasing what you think you're meant to chase. The expected life, the sensible plan, the next rung, the next milestone. And then you get there, and lo and behold, you still feel flat. Not because you're broken, because you've been chasing things that no longer fit. And this is why so many high achievers look successful and secretly feel unsatisfied. It's why so many women can build a life that appears impressive on the outside while feeling strangely disconnected on the inside. Achievement solves problems. It solves comfort problems. It does not solve meaning problems. Meaning comes from alignment, and alignment starts with desire. Desire, not desire as in I want a new handbag or a new pair of shoes or that chocolate, that beautiful luxurious chocolate. Desire as in the deeper signal inside you that says, This matters, this doesn't, this is alive, this is dead, this is mine, this is not. Sometimes it's your system saying, we're ready. Sometimes it's your heart saying, not this. Sometimes it's your inner knowing tap, tap, tapping you on the shoulder saying, There's more. And this is why I don't love the idea of simply trying to get your mojo back so you can push harder, do more, and tackle anything. Because what if what you're tackling is not actually what you want? What if you don't need more motivation? What if you need more honesty? To me, that is the better question. Not how do I get my mojo back, but how do I get quiet enough to hear what I actually want? So grab your notebook, your notepad, or open your notes on your phone. If you want to note down three gentle questions you can sit with when you feel that flat, restless, is this all there is energy? First, what am I currently pushing through that my body is quietly resisting? What am I currently pushing through that my body is quietly resisting? Two, where do I feel most alive? Not most productive, not most impressive, most alive. Where do I feel most alive? And third, if I stopped trying to be logical just for a moment, what is a small truth I already know? If I stopped trying to be logical for a moment, what is the small truth I already know? And if you want a simple practice, I invite you to dive into this. And it only takes two minutes. Place one hand on your chest or your belly if that feels better for you. Slow your exhale down and ask yourself what do I want more of really? Or what do I want in my life really? Then don't force the answer. Let it arrive. And here's the thing: it might come as a word, a memory, an image, a nudge. This is how desire often speaks softly. And if you can build the capacity to listen to that voice, you don't just get your mojo back. You get your direction back, you get your self-trust back, you get your influence back. Because when you know what you want, you stop being blown around by expectation. You start being pushed in directions that you don't really want to go in, directions that aren't for you. And you start moving with a steadier, quieter kind of power. Now, if this is resonating and you can feel that you have been moving quickly, overriding yourself, losing touch, what's actually true for you, you're in luck, my friend, because this is exactly why I created Softly Unshakable. Softly Unshakable is a free 90-minute immersion for intelligent, high-performing women who want to understand what happens inside them under pressure, reconnect back to themselves more deeply, and begin building the kind of steady inner power that changes how they speak, lead, choose, and live. Because before you can clearly express what you want, hold your ground, or communicate with real influence, you need to be able to hear yourself. You need that relationship with your own inner truth. And that's where we begin. 90 minutes, it's a gift, it's free, it's my gift to you. It's via Zoom, you can be anywhere in the world. It's the 17th of March, and we're going to put the link for you to register in the show notes. Now, if you want to go further, if you want this work to become more than a beautiful insight or a one-off experience, the Soft Strength Salon is where we go to do the deeper work. The salon is where we practice living this for six months, where you learn to stay connected to yourself in real time, where you deepen your self-awareness, strengthen your emotional intelligence, understand your patterns, access your truth more quickly, and build a steadier, more grounded relationship with your own desires, decisions, voice, and next chapter. Because this is not really about getting a quick burst of mojo and hoping it'll last. It's about rebuilding your relationship with yourself. And from that place, everything changes. We will also put that link in the show notes. The Soft Strength Salon is open right now. No delay, no waiting. We start the moment you say yes. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so glad you're here. And if this episode spoke to something in you, take a moment with it. Don't rush off. Let yourself sit with the question What do I want now? Thank you for being here. I look forward to reconnecting with you on the airwaves next week. Enjoy the rest of your day.