Impostor Syndrome at Work: Why You Feel Like a Fraud and How to Overcome It

Have you ever felt like you’re about to be found out at work, or in business?

Impostor Syndrome is often treated as proof that we don’t belong, but what if it’s sometimes a sign of something else?

In this episode of Sky High Coaching Conversations, Janelle Ryan explores why high performers, leaders, employees and entrepreneurs often feel like impostors just as they’re stretching into more responsibility, visibility and influence.

If you’ve been overworking, overpreparing, second-guessing yourself or trying to prove your place, this conversation will help you see self-doubt differently, and stop letting it lead.

Here are the links Janelle mentions:

Complimentary Blueprints: The Unshakeable Woman and Success Was The Warmup.

New Programme: The Soft Strength Salon

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Welcome to, or welcome back to Sky High Coaching Conversations. I'm Janelle Ryan and I'm so happy you're here. As always, I invite you to listen along, notice what comes up for you, maybe even make some notes, and later think about what you might like to do with that thought, insight, or idea. Let's dive in. I invite you to picture this: a glossy boardroom table, a CEO on the other side of it, leaning in, voice dropped, like he's about to tell me something he shouldn't. I lean in too. I'm ready. Like I want to know the secret. What have you got to tell me? And he says, You know, Janelle, men suffer from imposter syndrome too. And I whispered back, I know. I was in this conversation with this CEO because I was designing a leadership program for him for some women in his workforce. And uh one of the key components of the program was imposter syndrome, which is how we started talking about it. And he, it was very important for him that I knew that men experienced imposter syndrome too, which of course I I do know, and I already did know because I have many male clients who tell me so. And we worked through it together. And it was interesting speaking with him about this subject matter because he was so interested and so curious, and honestly, we could have talked for hours. And not because imposter syndrome is rare or surprising, but because it's so common and so consistently misunderstood. So we know imposter syndrome isn't just a woman a women's, excuse me, experience. It's not just a new leader's experience. It's not something that only shows up when you're new to business or finding your feet in entrepreneurship. The list of who it visits is genuinely endless. And that's the point. Imposter syndrome doesn't discriminate. And the person hoping they won't be asked, in the high performer who's been doing that role for 20 years, and the one who just got the promotion they worked a decade for. And what all these people have in common is this they're doing something that matters to them. Something with real stakes, something where the gap between how capable they feel and how capable they need to appear feels in that moment very wide. And that's what imposter syndrome is really tracking. Not incompetence, not failure waiting to happen, growth. Now, I actually love it when a client tells me they feel like an imposter. They don't love it that I love it. But I do. And not because I enjoy watching them suffer, I promise I don't, but because it always means something good is happening. It always means they're stretching themselves. They're not just sitting safely on the sidelines doing the version of themselves. They've already perfected, they've already got down pat. It means they're leaning into something, they're standing right at the edge of growth. And here's the thing about growth: it's not always pretty. We like to call it expansion and evolution and stepping into your next level. And those things are true, but sometimes growth just feels like your stomach dropping before you walk into that room, or wanting the opportunity so badly, and then panicking slightly when it arrives. And that's not a warning sign. It's often just what becoming and growth and expansion and evolution looks like from the inside. The real cost of imposter syndrome isn't that self-doubt shows up. Self-doubt shows up for most of us. The cost is when we hand it the keys and we let it drive the car. When we overwork, overprepare, say yes when we mean no, stay quiet when we should speak, make ourselves endlessly available so no one can question our value. When we try to earn our place every single day, instead of just owning it, inhabiting it. So today I want to give you five ways to move through imposter syndrome. Not by pretending you're fearless, and not by doing a power pose in the bathroom, although that that can be good sometimes. Not by hoping for the best, but by relating to the feeling differently so it stops running the show. Number one, we're going to separate the feeling from the evidence. Now you may feel like an imposter, but a feeling isn't necessarily truth, it's information. It might be telling you that you're feeling stretched or a bit more exposed than before, or in unfamiliar territory. What it's not telling you is that you're incapable. Those are very different things. And mixing them up is where a lot of the trouble starts. So here's a practical starting point because we love things that are practical, right? Write down the actual evidence. Get a piece of paper or open a Google Doc and write down the actual evidence. Not the fear, the evidence. What have you done? What have you created? What have you led? What problems have you solved? What have you navigated, built, carried, created, survived, figured out along the way? And please don't write down a little polite list. Tell the truth properly. Because here's the thing about high-performing people. They're usually excellent at cataloging their gaps and strangely reluctant to own their wins. If I ask them what they still want to work on, they'll give me a very detailed and thoughtful answer. If I ask them what they've genuinely achieved, suddenly they're very modest. This isn't about talking yourself into false confidence. It's about not letting fear override what is actually demonstrably real. Number two, stop using overwork as proof of worth. Oh, this is a biggie, and it's sneaky. Because in high performers, imposter syndrome often disguises itself as diligence. You think you're being thorough, responsible, professional, and most of the time you are. But sometimes underneath that, there can be something else going on. A quiet attempt to outrun the fear that you're not enough. So this looks like preparing for something for three hours when 30 minutes would have been ample. Checking the email six times and maybe even getting someone else to read it before you send it. Saying yes to another project when you do not have the time, because disappointing someone feels unbearable. When you make yourself constantly available, because if you're always useful, surely no one can question whether you belong. Now, short term, this feels like you're in control. Long term, oh my gosh, it's exhausting and it doesn't actually build confidence. It builds dependence on overdoing everything. So before your next task, I invite you to ask yourself, what would be enough here? Not lazy or careless, we're not dropping our standards. What would be enough? What would the grounded, capable, the version of you who knows they belong, what would they do? And where would they stop? Then practice stopping there. Not because your standards don't matter, because you do. Number three, let failure be information, not identity. Now, most of the time, the thing you're afraid of as hasn't actually happened, and I'm sure that resonates. I'm sure you're thinking, yes, that is actually true. Our brain imagines an undesirable, unwanted outcome. It makes it vivid and convincing, and our body responds as though it's already underway. Because that's how we're made up. And it's exhausting, by the way. But let's say something genuinely does go wrong in this new environment you've placed yourself in. Because sometimes it will. You make the wrong call, you stumble in a meeting, you receive some feedback that stings, you launch something in your business and it doesn't land the way you hoped. None of those things make you a fraud. They make you a human who is actually doing something that is new, different, bigger, brighter, bolder than before. Which is more than can be said for people who never try anything uncomfortable. The shift that changes everything is learning to treat failure as feedback rather than your identity. When failure becomes about our identity, we collapse. When failure becomes information, we learn from it and we move on. Something I do with my clients is we fail big, we fail fast, we learn from it, and we get it behind us. So I invite you to try this. Think back to a professional moment that didn't go the way you hoped. Not to torture yourself, to study it. For information. What happened? What did you learn? What will you do differently next time? Or what did you do differently next time? There's something really quietly powerful about realizing you've already survived things that once felt enormous. You've already come back from moments you were certain would define you in a way you didn't want to be defined. And they didn't. Number four, build confidence through action, not waiting. Whoa, this is one confidence is one of my favorite topics to talk about. I have run many an event around confidence. So here's the thing. A lot of people believe confidence is something you feel before you do the thing that you're feeling a little anxious, nervous, or frightened about. That you wait until you feel ready and then you act. Well, here's the truth. That is really how it works. Confidence is a result of action. It's a paradox we wait to feel confident before we take the action, when in reality, it's taking the action that creates the confidence. It comes after you've done that thing that frightens you a few times and notice that you're still standing. And after you've realized with some relief that you did in fact die from the discomfort of it. And I know that sounds dramatic, but our bodies can genuinely behave as though speaking up in a meeting or stepping into an arena that's new where we're more visible is a life-threatening event. Our minds know it isn't. Our nervous system has its own timeline. So if you're waiting to feel completely ready before you enter the room differently, I'm sorry, my friend, you're going to be waiting quite a while. So here's something practical. Before your next meeting or important conversation, take a moment to actually arrive. Arrive in the space, arrive in the moment. Get out of your head. Feet on the floor, unclench your jaw. Yes, really unclench it. You won't even notice you're clenching it probably until you go to unclench it. Relax your shoulders, slow your breathing down. And choose one sentence that you'll say inside the room, if it's appropriate, of course, and you won't rush it. I'd like to add something here. Or I have a different perspective on this. Or here's what I recommend. Say it. Don't apologize for it. Don't sprint through it to fill the silence on the other side. Let it land. Give it space. You're not trying to take over the room. You're just trying to stop disappearing from it. Number five, be honest without handing over your authority. Authenticity does not mean telling everyone every insecurity you have the moment you feel it. We all want to be authentic leaders, don't we? Leadership does not require performing perfection. There is a genuinely effective pace between those two things. It's okay not to know the answer. It's okay to be learning. It's okay to need clarity or more time or a conversation about priorities. What matters is how you hold yourself while you say so. There is a real difference between, I have no idea. Sorry, I'm probably the wrong person for this. And, you know, I don't have that answer right now. I'll find out and come back to you. There's a difference between collapsing and being clear, between oversharing and communicating, between being asked to be rescued and simply leading with honesty. And we saw this during the pandemic. The leaders who confidently said, I don't know, I'm finding out, who didn't lie, who were honest and authentic, and the leaders who collapsed or pretended that they knew everything, and then we all realized very quickly that they didn't. So next time you don't know something, practice saying so cleanly. I need to look at the numbers before I give you a clear answer. Or I can take that on, but something else will need to move. Or I'm at capacity this week. Let's sit down and work out what matters most. This isn't weakness. This is what leadership actually sounds like. Now before I wrap up, I want to say this clearly. The goal is not to never feel self-doubt again. This would be wonderful, obviously. And if someone's cracked that particular code, if someone has the formula, please send me the details. And you're going to be a gazillionaire. But it's not the goal. The goal is to stop letting self-doubt be the most powerful voice in your head. Because the more you grow, the more edges you'll meet, new rooms, new conversations, new versions of yourself that don't quite exist yet. And every time there may be a part of you that wonders whether you're ready. That's not the problem. The problem is when that part of you gets to run the meeting. You don't need to wait until imposter syndrome is gone before you lead well, speak clearly, take the opportunity, or decide you're done making yourself small. You can feel the wobble and still tell the truth. You can feel uncertain and still move forward with intelligence, with warmth, with genuine strength. We want to celebrate that imposter syndrome. We want to celebrate that that self-doubt is coming up because it means you are on the edge of an evolution. There are things that frightened you once upon a time that you do very easily today, probably without even thinking about it. And that can happen again in your future. And if you keep stepping forward with imposter syndrome by your side, as long as it's not driving, make friends with it. Hey, I'm so happy you're here. This means I'm on the cusp something great. This means I'm in the game. This means I'm alive. This means I'm moving forward. This means I'm being brave. I'm so happy you're here. Link your arm in mine and let's go. Because I'm doing this anyway. That's not fake confidence. That, my friend, is self-leadership. And it is absolutely something you can start practicing today. Now, if something in this episode has landed for you, I'd love to invite you a little further into this work. If you want practical tools, really practical tools, you can start using straight away. The show notes have links to our complimentary sky high coaching blueprints. The unshakable woman blueprint is for the woman who is brilliant at her job but tired of feeling like she's not. The one who looks like the definition of success on the outside and is quietly running on fumes on the inside. It's pat. In there, I have created more than 10 short, powerful tools you can use right away, even between meetings or before bed, to shift you from pressure to presence and get your confidence, calm, and spark back. Oh, so good. The other blueprint I've created is called Success was the warm-up. And it's for the woman who's done responsible adulting with capital R and Capital A to an Olympic level. You've built the career, led the teams, supported everyone else, and is now finally asking, This is my time. What do I actually want next? So this blueprint is going to help you reconnect with what genuinely fulfills you, redefine success on your own terms, and design a next chapter that feels aligned, alive, and unapologetically yours. Both are my gift to you, and the links are in the show notes. Now, if you're thinking, Janelle, I don't want another thing to download or read or work through by myself. I am a busy woman and I like doing things with other people. I do too. I like doing things with other people immensely. So if you already know this isn't something you want to just read about, if you're ready to do the real work in a room with other people who get it, then I'd love to tell you about the soft strength salon. This salon is where intelligent, high performing women come to stop editing themselves, build their self trust, and practice leading. Speaking and living with quiet, unshakable strength. Because the next version of you won't be built by proving harder. She'll be built by leaning or learning, leaning into, learning to. They both work. Hold herself differently. So the link to learn more and to apply for a no-obligation call with me because you and I decide together whether the salon is the right place for you. That link is in the show notes. Thank you so much for spending this time with me. As always, if you know someone who would love this episode of Sky High Coaching Conversations, please share it. Please send it on. I hope this episode helps you see imposter syndrome a little differently. Not as proof you don't belong, but as a sign you're standing at an edge. And that edge is the beginning of your next chapter. Celebrate that feeling, my beautiful friend. See you next time. Bye.