Stop Being an Option

Are you tired of being someone’s “maybe,” their backup plan, or the person they only call when it’s convenient? In this powerful episode of The Blinded Truth Podcast, we’re confronting the hard truth—you teach people how to treat you.

“Stop Being an Option” is a raw, unfiltered conversation about self-worth, boundaries, healing, and breaking toxic patterns. We dive deep into why we settle, how past trauma can shape our tolerance, and what it really takes to choose yourself—even when it’s uncomfortable.

This episode will challenge your mindset, push you to reflect, and empower you to stop accepting less than you deserve. You are not an afterthought. You are not second choice. It’s time to walk in your worth and demand alignment in every area of your life.

💥 If this hits home, don’t keep it to yourself—share it with someone who needs this message.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the Blonde Truth Podcast, Truth Shot, where real stories meet real healing. And I'm your host, Destiny Vance. And this episode is powered by Destiny's By Choice Support Services. Now listen, this one right here, this one might hit a little different because I know for me it's hitting different. But when it hits, it hits deep. I'm experiencing it. So let's talk about the moment when you realize you are not someone's priority. Not kinda. Not sometimes, but really truly not. And I'm not talking about assumptions. I'm talking about patterns. I'm talking about effort. I'm talking about energy that doesn't match yours. Because, see, in the beginning, you give people grace, you make excuses. They're busy, they're going through something, they didn't mean it like that. And for a while, that feels okay. Because you care, because you understand, because you're trying to see the good. I have to say slowly at first, then all at once, I'm not a priority here. And let's be honest, that realization, it hurts. Because to you, it's major. It's respect, it's effort, it's value. But to them, it's small. It's not a big deal. It's you're overthinking, it's it's not that serious, it's you always make things bigger than they are. And here's the part nobody talks about enough. When you finally build up the courage to speak on it and to say something, to express how you feel, they flip it. Now somehow you're the problem. Now you're too sensitive. Now you're doing too much. Now you're tripping. And in that moment, something shifts inside of you because now you're not just hurt, you're confused. You start questioning yourself. Maybe I'm I am overacting. Maybe it's not that serious, maybe I'm asking for too much, and your mind, hmm, it starts flooding. I'm not worth it, I'm too much, I should just chill, I should just accept it, and that right there, that's where people lose themselves. Because instead of standing on what you know you deserve, you start shrinking and you start silacing yourself, you start adjusting your standards to keep someone who isn't even meeting them. And let me be real with you. That is not love, that is emotional confusion, that is misalignment, and in some cases, that is manipulation because someone who truly values you is not going to make you feel crazy for expressing your needs. They may not always agree, but they will acknowledge, they will listen, they will care enough to at least try to understand. But when someone consistently dismisses you, minimizes you, turns it back on you, that's not a misunderstanding, that's a pattern, and now you're stuck in this space trying to figure out am I asking for too much? And let me answer that for you and for myself. No, you're asking the wrong person because what feels like too much to one person is basic to someone else, and here's another hard truth. Everybody is not going to value you the way you value them, and I'm learning that that doesn't make you wrong, and it doesn't always make them wrong either. It just means you're not aligned. But the problem is we don't like that answer. See how I had a pause because I didn't. We want people to rise to our expectations, we want them to meet us where we are, we want them to finally get it. But here's the truth. You can't force someone to value what you value. You can explain it, you can communicate it, you can even show them, but if they don't see it, if they don't feel it, if they don't care to adjust, they won't. And that's the part that hurts the most. Because now you have to make a decision. Do you stay and keep accepting less than what you deserve, or do you walk away? And choose yours choose yourself. And y'all know I have to be real with you. Neither option is easy. Because staying means slowly losing yourself, possibly, means shrinking your expectation, possibly, means convincing yourself this is enough, but walking away that hurts too. Because now you have to go, you have to let go of what you hoped it should be. Now you have to accept that they may never show up the way you need it, and that's a different kind of pain. But here's the truth you need to hear. You can't keep holding on to potential when reality is showing you something different. People will show you where you stand in their life, not just by what they say, but by what they do. And if you feel like an option, it's because you are, and you're probably a placeholder. So let that sit. Because priority, priority doesn't need to be questioned, it doesn't need to be delayed. When you're a priority, you feel it, you see it, you don't have to chase it. And if you're constantly questioning your place, that's your answer. So hear me clearly. You are not crazy, you are not too much, you are not asking for too much, you are asking for alignment, and if they can't meet that, that's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to decide what you're going to do next. Stay or walk. But let me be clear either way, choose you because your peace, your value, and your worth should never be up for negotiation. And that's the truth. So remember, your destiny is by choice, not by chance. Until next time, keep walking in your truth. Bye.