The Blinded Truth

The Truth That Built Who I Am

• Destinnee • Season 1

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What if the hardest moments of your life were actually building the person you're meant to become?

In this powerful episode of The Blinded Truth, Angie Dillon comes back for part 3 and shares the raw truth behind the experiences, challenges, lessons, and defining moments that shaped who she is today. This isn't just a story of struggle—it's a story of resilience, purpose, faith, growth, and discovering strength when life seems determined to break you.

Whether you're navigating adversity, searching for purpose, healing from your past, or looking for motivation to keep moving forward, this episode will inspire you to embrace your journey and own your truth.

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SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the Blinded Truth Podcast, where real stories meet real healing. We are your host, Destiny Vance, and co-host.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, Eric.

SPEAKER_00

Today's episode is titled The Truth That Built Who I Am. This one is deeper than surface level growth. It's about the truth you had to face, the parts you tried to hide, and the moments that forced you to choose differently. We all have chapters where we settled, doubted ourselves, and played small. But what if those moments didn't break you? They built you. Today we're unpacking the journey of becoming, owning your truth and stepping into who you were always meant to be. This episode is powered by Destiny Is by Choice Support Services. And I'm so glad to have again with us, Miss Edgie Dillon, aka Peaches from the Peach State. And we had to do a part two. So this is technically your part three.

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Because your episode was just so deep. And I was telling Eric that your story, I think people see you and they be like, and then they like they hear your story, they're like, oh, okay. I didn't know that. Yes. So I'm gonna start off with one question, then you gotta follow up.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_00

Who is Angie?

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh, I thought you never asked. Well, with that being said, of course, I'm Angie, uh, by way of Georgia, here at Rono, you know, moved here like 18 years ago. So um, mother of five, grandmother of 10, wife of one. Yes. Um, woman of God, um, business owner, um, many different titles. I can I can say that. Friend, sister, cousin, mentor, you name it. Um, a woman with many titles. Um I came here to roll note, not sure of why I accepted the move, but quote unquote I did. But I came here with a purpose, and I've stuck to my purpose.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you really have. I remember when you first got here, and I had never met Rick, but he was family. That was crazy. And I was kind of like, I don't know, our relationship formed in the weirdest way.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's the introduction of Destiny is like, uh, well, Robbie has a daughter, Destiny, but Destiny's off the check in, and I was like, where is she? It sounds quite familiar. So it I gravitated to that because being from Crazy Georgia, being real, and coming to a place unknown and meeting somebody that I could relate to in a different place. Um, so I was ready for the challenge, you know. So where they was like, uh, it was like where she's at. Yeah, somebody that I have always, well, not somebody, you have always been somebody I could be totally honest with. No judgment zone, didn't care. We talked it out, we fussed it out, we cried it out, we've done all of that. But you have been one of the ones that I can tell anything to and don't have to worry about it going anywhere or being taken out of contents. It's just like, oh, okay. So what do we go from here?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I you say you can always tell me, but you know the craziest thing? I can remember being so scared to tell you I was pregnant when I was younger. I was like, she's gonna kill me. And Brandon was like, you can tell mom. Mom is not gonna care. And I was like, and it was scarier than telling my mom. It was scary that I was like, what have I done? And Brandon was like, you can tell mom. I promise you, you can tell mom. You'll be good. And but like, you could always come to me and be like, this and that. And but I was just like, I can't tell her. This is I'm gonna die. I'm gonna be dead.

SPEAKER_01

And I was happy because for one, I'll tell you why I was happy. Early pregnancy taught me something. It to me, of course, was not plan, but it catapulted me into a place of purpose. So um, with that being said, I knew it was no longer about me. And knowing the relationship that I had with you, I knew as much as you took care of Jamise, who in their right mind would sit and untangle knock a balls for for days. That was her thing. Her Janice always was very, very close. I mean, she would have probably never gone to see the Grinch or whatever they did downtown in a home. Never, ever, ever if I had to take her. Destiny, you've always been that one for my child to take her everywhere she wants to go. I don't want to go. But Dickens of Princess every single year. Who went? She went. I'm from Georgia. You don't see peaches out in the wintertime. So with that being said, coldness is not my thing. So um I knew you were gonna be a great mom because I watched you with Jamise, you know, and even being pregnant still with Joe, um, making sure Tita did what she was supposed to do.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You know, being that hands-on, you know, with the motherly thing. But I you were picked for purpose with that one. So I was kind of like, if if anything's gonna get hurt, this pregnancy, because she gotta think before she bought. Yeah, you know, you you gotta be like, okay. So it was nothing that was like, okay. So I was more worried about, okay, what is my cousin gonna say? So I'm kind of like, okay, if she puts you out, I guess you gotta stay with me. Yeah. But it was like, okay, where do I go from your transformation? How can I be as hands-on as you were to show you how much I appreciate you for everything you did, you know, with Jamise and being my very first assistant. It's not forget about that.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. See, see, people don't like to believe I know about hair and and how to wash hair, how to take care of your hair, the things you do and do not put in your hair. And I be telling people, like, even though I am not a hairstylist, I know what I'm talking about. That means grease does not go in your hair because it weighs down your hair. You cannot put that in there, you can't do that because it weighs it down. Certain products it says that it's gonna help it grow. That doesn't mean it's gonna help it grow. You need some stemic still to help it grow.

SPEAKER_01

Period. Thank you. You know, so thank you. Being the only scene person, always, no matter what idea I had, you know, birthday parties, destiny's there, beauty salon, all right. Cleaning, all right. That was her thing. Her and Robin and them, they cleaned up on the weekend. Yeah, I come into the salon all cleaned up, like never seen them, you know, come or go. So it's always been that support uh factor. We've we've always been close. I I don't think we should ever do a poll to see how many people be like, you know, like, yeah, that's our favorite. I mean, she was the older daughter. So I stopped really introducing you as my cousin. It's like the older daughter that I didn't have to have.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. That was that's me. Yeah. And they know when I come around, I tell people I'll be like, my your sons was the ones that always used to tell their their girlfriends, my cousin's not gonna like you. But it's okay, she'll come around. I'll be like, Don't tell people that because I'm not coming around to like you. I just don't. And they will always tell her, like, she's not gonna like you. I'm just telling you now. But she'll come around.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so she gave them the training that Jamise couldn't, because Jamise was a little girl. So they passed the destiny test, they became girlfriends and later on baby mamas.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you know, until I cussed them out.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and then it was just like give her some time, you know, she'll come around.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

The real, the real.

SPEAKER_04

Last time we interviewed you, you talked about the little girl. How is she doing?

SPEAKER_01

I would say still in training. It's it's crazy that you say that. See, I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready for that, you know, because I've been dealing with, you know, a few different issues here lately with setting those those boundaries, you know, and it's just kind of like, you know, a girl gets somewhere and sit out. So I've learned um several different things about myself and that little girl. Um so much is where, you know, I think it's book writing time. And I would say the title would be, or as far as I can remember. Because I don't want to call anybody and ask anybody about my past. I want to start it from where I can remember it. You know, and it was some good, you know, times, it was some challenging, you know, times, but I would have to say it was all for purpose. So everything that I've gone through this far, I'm gonna be 52 um by a week and a half, so everything with that little girl was purposeful. You know, I utilized her for many different things. So I know everybody has seen the movie right. So I lost my mom 11 years ago. So when difficulty comes up, I can still hear her saying, remember what I told you. Remember what I told you. And at the time when she was programming me for this day that we all would have to see one day to live life without her, she really instilled some great values. Not giving up is is not an option. Is it a struggle some days? Yeah, but is it worth it? I would have to say yes because it shows my roots, I guess. And as much as I have to realize that things grow under dirt. So when you say that, I'm learning to be okay with not understanding things that were really out of my control. But when things get in my control, now I know I have a choice. You know, I can't go back to the past and change anything about anybody that at the time had control, but baby, when I got control, now I got a choice. So I know that um I didn't go through everything that I went through for nothing.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_01

Um, thank you for asking.

SPEAKER_00

I was I think that that was the turning point. Like you had growth moments, like the steps, but I think when that happened, you had to kind of like take not take one step, but kind of take a leap. Because I still remember that day to to and it's it's I tell people it's something to see God break somebody down to where he wants them to be. And I think that that moment really broke you down to the point where you had no choice but to lean on him because to see, like I've seen her cry before, but to see her in a state of like trying to get her clothes together, and she was like, I just talked to her yesterday, and she's she threw stuff in the bag, and it was just kind of like it was kind of like for me, like what, like literally, like what the hell? It was like, how could this happen, you know? And um I think that was like the the part that kind of like that broke you down, and I think the other part that that showed you like the control is not in your hands was when everything happened with Brandon. Because you were kind of like, we we we thought everything was set. We was like, all right, this is how it's gonna go. And then it was like pew, no, it ain't. And we were like, again, what the hell? It was it was so so weird. So I I tell people like to be on to be in that circle and see somebody be broken down, and you can see that God is like literally breaking them down to where they have to literally be like, I have no choice but to lean on God. It's a it's a beautiful, but like uh experience where you're just like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04

Like I I I don't I don't know if that's the experience, or is it really the experience is that person going through that and and to the self-saying that like the outside looking in is one thing, but being in that seat and had to ride that wave, no matter which way it goes, is a terrible, terrible feeling at times. But as it gets better and better, it gets easier and easier. Because I like I know, you know. And with that being said, what do you think the main thing you you're supposed to learn from that? And I say that because mine was I had to be humble, I had to be humiliated, I had I had all that had to happen for me to understand that I'm not him.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. And I would have to say, yeah, but with my mom, her main thing was get that relationship with God. And when she spoke of it, it was like, okay, you know, I need to find a church home here in Ro. But that's just until you come to Rono, you know, why I can still call you, never knowing that she was preparing me for that day, you know, to come. And on our last vacation, I was telling my mom all about, oh, I'm starting this women's ministry. I told her all my ideas. I told her that the Lord had told me to buy the pastoral robe. I mean, I'm telling her all of these great things, the plans, and everything. And she's just sitting over there in the passenger seat, just like, okay, all right, you know, listening. So when that day came, before my husband told me, you know, um something had happened. So he said, cancel all your appointments. And I was like, why? This is my money we're talking about, everybody. No, yeah, her money, her kids are man. So I said, What's wrong with my kids? He said, Ain't nothing wrong with your kids. I said, What's wrong with my mama? I said, cancel all your appointments. I remember braiding this guy's hair, and I was almost at the last braid, and I didn't want to finish his hair because I was afraid of what I was going to hear once I finished with this last line. So I finished him up. I told my assistant at the time I said if my mom is not here, I'm gonna be different. So be prepared for me to be different. She's just a little bit so he didn't call my husband, he's trying to put it in. I pick up the phone, I'm like, I'm gonna call my mama, you know what I'm saying? She's gonna be sad. I said, Well, at least let me call her pastor and he's sad, he'll meet you at the house. That's when I is when he told me he was gonna meet me at the house. So I got to the house, he broke down, he told me the pastor came in, and I didn't give him a date to when I'm gonna keep the women's ministry off. I looked at him and I said, I'm gonna stick to my date. And he said, You don't have to tell me that. I said, No. I gotta tell you that because I told her that my mama wasn't uh cursing about disappointments and letdown. My 40th birthday, and I know two months later, my mom was home passed away. The Lord placed it upon me to call my mom and say, tell your mama, she's the one person that never disappointed you. So I said, Ma, I said, I know it's my birthday. She was like, Okay. I said, but I need to tell you something. She said, Well, I said, Whatever you told me, you never disappointed me. Whatever you said, you meant that. I said, and I need to tell you that on my birthday. She said, For real, Angie. I said, Yeah, and I want to tell you thank you on my 40th birthday. Still not knowing that these conversations was preparation for the next step, you know, in life, which was ministry. But he was already preparing me, and I felt like the conversation of that ride down to Florida with my mom, I felt like she was ready when she knew that I was ready, you know, because I'm like, man, she ain't gonna leave me without telling me bye. But it's like, I guess it ain't bye now that I'm seeing that it comes so unexpected, you know. And I battered, I battled with myself by saying, what if I had known she was sick? Would it have been any easier? Maybe if I could have ran to the bedside and just, you know, went day after day after day and talked to her. But I knew the type of mom I had. She wasn't gonna let you catch up with a whole week or a lipstick. Woman was always put together. So that wasn't gonna be her if she had a choice. So I was like, well, okay, so we get down there to Georgia. And I told them, I said, I don't believe this. I see her name, she's not at the house. Y'all don't have to show her to me. So they showed her to me. But my mama was a character. You know, she always told me, something happened to me, and you don't let them put my makeup on me and my lipstick, I'm gonna reach up and I'm gonna slap you. So, of course, that was the first thing. First, you gotta make sure everything belongs to Miss Beverly is there at the spot. But I can I could hear her the whole entire time guiding me, leading me through that transformation. But the scariest part was get to the funeral home, she said, If you having a hard time doing my eyebrows, you need to just let Rick come over here because it don't seem like you're gonna get them right. And I'm like, lady, quit playing with me. You should be gone on to be with the Lord or whatever. But she said, because she had experience. I lost my only sister at 27, I lost my father, I lost grandma. I lost a lot of dominant people, especially my sister. That was my age. She was supposed to be through life with me when my mom left, but you know, she left hers. And she said, I watched you break down at the closing at a casket. So you do it. I said, whatever. She said, No. She said, because from this point on, you would never see my face again. I said, I told the funeral direct, I said, my mama, talking to me. This is what she's saying. So talking walking through it. I told my husband it was like okay. I told my brothers it was like okay. So I was like, all right, we gonna we gonna do this. So get to the funeral, do everything else. Now you told me, made sure your eyebrows, your makeup is done, I'm closing this casket. And I can hear her saying, get up and say something. Like, now you brother trick because you know I don't like to talk to front of people. You know, this is my my breakdown moment. Why I gotta be strong, I wanna be weak, I wanna cry like everybody else. Why? She was like, Because we didn't have any coulda, shoulda, woulda's. Get up there and tell them that. Here we go. Even in the spirit, this woman who has raised me 40 years of my life at this point is still leading and guiding me. And I hold on to that because my favorite scripture was always Isaiah 54 17. Nowhere. But I have gravitated to liking hers more now, which is I can do all things. Through Christ who strengthens me. Because if it had not been him, I knew I told people I was gonna be crazy. I had already told I'm gonna be different, I'm gonna be crazy. I'm probably gonna be that lady walking up now Peter Street Road with a leather jacket on. Because how am I supposed to live life without my hero? Only one constant person that I always had, every single thing that has taught me through things and never judged me. What does life look like? But I also watched this woman iron a uniform for as far as I can remember, a white uniform for as far as I can remember. 39 years of my life, my mom worked the same job. The same job. Never drove, but always made sure that I didn't have an excuse for not to work. She always told me, and where you live is how you live. So neighborhoods don't impress me. Materialistic stuff don't impress me. Love is what impressed me. Stability, structure, being able to handle business, you know. I eat crab legs a whole lot now, but I ain't too proud to go back to what I thought was bacon, which was fat bag back in my day. Because when you have things instilled in you, it's okay to change when things don't look the same. You know, I always tell people I work as if I don't have a dime in the bank. But my mama always told me you always put aside something for a rainy day. And with that being said, I still I live my life, you know, that way of making sure that I can do credit card debt. I don't care nothing about that. They're just gonna put it on my credit. Seven years will start over. Feed my kids. Hey, that's my thing, you know. That's my thing. So I'm gonna always not put all my eggs in this basket to try to have perfect credit because who cares about it? You know, but being stable, being able to be a provider, because that's what I have from one woman all of my life. Now, you know, God gave me some bonuses. My children are not just there yet. They make promises, ain't nobody paid me back yet. But with my husband, I have to tell him, be patient with me. Because she instilled some things 40 years. That at 51, you're gonna have to give me a little grace, you know. We all anticipate things then forever. But at the end of the day, I gotta be real with myself. That's not a fairy tale. Like life changes. I've experienced life changing right before my eyes without having to say, uh, wait, hold up, don't, you know. I told my son this not too long ago. And not to take anything from my spouse, and this is just me being real. He said, Mama, when I make it big, I'm going to, you know, give you this and give you that. You can't tell me that, Brandon. You want to know why? Because I've been disappointed by more men in my life than I have in women. That was another little girl moment. That was a real moment to really come to grips to say.

SPEAKER_00

So let me ask you this. How do you because like with me, like, I try to prepare my kids for if I'm not here, you know? But you kind of gotta have the the balance of not stressing them out or be overbearing, like you gotta do this. So how do you try to find the balance of preparing them? Like, I ain't gonna always be here.

SPEAKER_01

So what what it's the strongest kid you go to, you know. At first, having the older ones, you you you think you gotta go in in number numerical order. You know, you start from the oldest down to the next and go for it. But then once life starts throwing you lemons and you start making lemonade, sometimes your plans have to change. And so you have to collectively have a conversation with them to say, well, you're strong in this aspect, but you're strong in that aspect, and I expect for y'all to pull together. Brandon, y'all will all be broke, and you all get cussed out. Brandon, girls on the street gonna be sharp. Cheese, he gonna feed you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

First, first field trip gonna be y'all going to the to the store. Sooty, we gonna cook what's here. Jamise, I don't want no parts of this. Y'all figure it out. Serena, y'all got some noodles. Yep. You know, so you have to really start looking at who's who's the stronger, you know, one of them. Because I can say that my oldest one wouldn't be able to handle like he would self-medicate. Yeah, but she's going to a dark place. Jamie's pride of destiny and come and move over to somewhere with soothing by boat. He's gonna be spontaneous, yeah. You know, so you really have to really make sure that they're on one accord to make sure that they handle business, but also focus on that that kid that you know is gonna do your wishes. And for me, I I I picked I picked that one.

SPEAKER_04

So question. If you could tell your mom anything, what would be the one thing you tell her?

SPEAKER_01

Well, girl, you made me strong, but sometimes you well, no, not no sometimes. I think you didn't teach me no boundaries. You I was the baby, and I've never been no bigger than maybe a hundred pounds soaking wet. My mama didn't book me, and I think I told her that if you had a spanked me more, maybe I would have been a little less out of control. But because she just talked to me and I knew talking to me, they ain't hurt, you know. I might would have been like, oh, not to tune her out. But she didn't have no real serious punishment for me, which means I'm always pressing that button. And I see a whole lot of me, her in me now. And I thought I'll joke about it because my mama was always that person. She went on and on. Me still not knowing that my life is gonna change in a few years. So when she would call me ranning and raving about she's about to slap somebody at work, and I was like, you know what, you're too close to retirement, it's not working, y'all. You just need to drop your paperwork because you're just doing too much. And she was like, I don't even know why I even called you because you just too holy. What you mean? You have a choice. If somebody has that much control over you, then they have your future in their hands. So I got that strength and all of that good stuff, the work at the taking care of the kids and all of that, but the boundaries part, I'm still working on it. I'm like that plate pot on a pirate's wheel, you know, still trying not to be triggered. But it's so hard when people don't respect your boundaries. And I think that's where I'm at. I I want I want my my no to be my no and my yes to be my yes. And if I remove myself from a situation, I want people to respect those boundaries and let me grow gracefully. Broken, yeah, you know, but a lot of times I'm learning and early back to that little girl. People only do what you allow them to you, so your response is still your responsibility. I know that, I get it, I hear it all the time. But sometimes it's hard to put that into action when you're not ready. Perfect example, I'll tell you why I say that. My brother always said you keep going through the same thing over and over because you keep getting caught off guard. So they make umbrellas and raincoats for a reason. But if you never decide to purchase one, when that rain comes, you're never going to be prepared. So you gotta really start preparing for the unknown because one day you're gonna be hit with the unknown. But if you keep on being unprepared, you'll never be able to weather what you don't understand. So I be having these talk myself down, detonate my own bomb. You know, don't let wire red touch yellow because you know it might be combustion, you know. But I'm I'm trying to navigate this thing by not letting my good be ill spoken of. And I think that's where I'm at now, trying to maneuver, trying to not be triggered, but at the same time realizing that people ain't never gonna be you. The grace you give, people ain't never gonna give you what you would give them.

SPEAKER_03

And that was like that was a that was a lot to take in.

SPEAKER_01

A whole lot. I'm like, if I if it had been Sunday morning when I was doing this, and I had my girdle on, I would have probably burst, you know, but it's like it's just a whole lot of uh but I need this to continue to grow to get into that full potential where God has me to continue to be that woman that I was designed to be, and you can't pour no water on her. I I I can't be watered down, just give me grace. Like I keep giving you grace, like grace should go both ways.

SPEAKER_00

So when you see women that has kind of like the same story and journey as you, what how do you respond? Do you be like, girl, I've been there before you kind of be like, just just oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I I like I like a challenge. I like for one, in order to get that type of person, they gotta be willing to be transparent. I know liars, I met some liars. I know, girl, that ain't right because you forgot what you done told me. I'm a sludge. The only way you're gonna get past things is if you go through them. So I tell them, hey, I've been married for a long time, but hey, we ain't really been Ike and Tina. It might have been Tina on Ike, but you know being spoiled, being very protective of sometimes I think I've been protecting myself from not really me, but people. Yeah, from people, you know, because I've been I've been through some stuff. I've been through some stuff. But if I can get a person to be honest with me, then that'll give me the open door to be able to have a platform to say, you can do it with your skill set, you know.

SPEAKER_00

I don't like we, we, we, we took talk about transformation. One of her assistants came to her where the school system, I think she was in what, special education? And this when she started to give a little perspective, she was still drinking out of a bottle all on the floor. Angie took her as her assistant and transformed her into a hairstylist to the point she is a hairstylist, people go to, has her own shop, does hair, and and when um Pastor Eric sees her now, he's like, I remember when she was at my school, and this is how she was, and she took her and transformed her. And and all of her assistants, what I love is they come with something. And she takes that something and like, okay, you can keep doing this something, or you can do this, but they're talented. They have, they have once she can get them to see like where they where they are, like who they are, what they can become, she transforms them. She has patience, I think, more than what she knows. Because if you sit in the shop for a day with her, you'll be like, So, this is why I do what I do and you do what you do, and I just be like, because there were times I work in the shop and I was like, I'm gonna close because this is not the the the things people come in and request and the things people say and do, I'm like, you're a good one. So she had, I think she doesn't realize how much patience she has because to take people and just let them, I I don't have the patience. You get it.

SPEAKER_04

Quick question How did you know when you were ready to become a minister? Oh and the reason to ask that because I just started going back to church two years ago. I've been to discipleship school, my mom's an ordained minister. I got like nine preachers in my family. Uh I ran away from God, found uh I don't know if I can say found him, but he trapped me down and said you can't you can't you can't you can't do what you're doing no more. You it's either this or that. Chose him. And when I'm in church, I'd be hearing stuff saying, You can be a deacon, you know, and and I I be telling people, and then they'd be telling the pastor. You know, we're doing an interview, and now sooner or later I gotta do a sermon, and and I I just know I know it's in me, but I'm still fighting it, and I be holding on to stuff like slot machines, yeah, just so that I ain't a hundred percent right.

SPEAKER_00

You never will be before you answer when I got called, I to see what you went through. I I I never forget going to Pasad. And I said, Sup. This is what and what scared me was his mama showed up in my dream. I was on the treadmill, I was running, and she was behind me, and she said, Stop running. And you know how she would, and I was like, and it scared me. It it was kind of like a but to see what she went through when she got caught, I said, Clearly, this was not for me, God. Um I think you have somebody else that you have in mind, and I never forget I was in the bathroom and God told me to turn to Exodus, and it was where Moses was at the burning bush, and he was like, No, I'm not going back. And I was reading it crying, yeah, because we used to play a lot, he did, and a whole lot about that, but I can say for you this is the Holy Spirit dealing with you know, but the hardest thing is people reminding you of who you used to be.

SPEAKER_01

That was your training ground. That was your training ground, every single thing that you've gone through, I've gone through in life, was training ground, you know, for me. So if you don't have the experience, you won't get the call. How are you gonna tell somebody about something that you can't relate to? All right, then realize my sister back then they call them rock stars. I was like rock stars, she liked rock music. I was like, no, she's a cracking. I was like, don't talk to my sister. Don't be talking about my sister like that. That's my sister. You know what I'm saying? And because she was still my sister, she would wake me up in the middle of the night and you want to go to the store with me? And I'm like, yeah, come on, sis, let's go to the store. She was like, but you stay right here, I'm gonna go right here. My mama waking up and not realizing that, you know, realize I'm not in the house because I'm down here walking the street with my sister, you know. So when God takes you through some things of protection, then you know, you know what I'm saying? Because they could have snatched me while snatching her. So, okay, I could experience, you know what I'm saying, what it looks like to have um druggies in your family. Seeing that. But if you ain't never had that, you don't know how to relate. It ain't always gonna be like that. One of my closest friends just passed away about a year, year and a half ago. And we're doing a funeral and they asked me to officiate. I'm like, sure, I'll officiate. So I'm officiating with one of the preachers. He said, Is her sorority sisters here? And I was like, I don't know. You gonna ask her? He's our ex. He as he said she got in the sorority sisters. Nobody stood up. I said, see, she was in a sorority. I was in a gang.

SPEAKER_02

Like, what?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, hey, I was I had my gang days, you know what I'm saying? So hey, all right, training ground, but we had a pack, you know what I'm saying? We all stuck together, you know. Um teenage pregnancy, you know what I'm saying, single mom, you know, prison for my son, you know, grief, you know, absent father, you know, um, son being, um gun violence, you know what I'm saying. I mean, you name it, but it was all for a time when I could relate. I don't nobody want to see nobody that act like they can't relate. We gotta be relatable, you know. So everything that I've gone through was preparing me for this day. Everything that we all have gone through, but I didn't think as much bad words came out that it could be used for good words. So that was really the test. You want me to say, what? You already know I have more words and I've had holy words. But when I submitted myself to him, he changed my talk as well as my walk. But you know that you know that you know because you ain't no ain't no turning back. When God's want to talk to me about ministry, I was sitting at my table and I was drinking a bottle of wine. And I said, Well, if I drank this whole bottle, maybe you'll go find somebody else because I'm sure I'm not your girl. You know what I'm saying? So, and we're not talking about the little one, it was a big And I said, Well, okay, I'm like, I'm sitting here, I'm trying to mind my own business, and I got to the bottom of this water. I mean, this bottom, and I ain't feeling nothing. So I'm like, Oh, you got jokes, right? You know, so you just change my wine to water. So getting ready for a cruise. Love being down south, you know, shake that, go in there. I'm so uncomfortable. Like, why am I even in here? You know, so I was like, all right, I'm gonna take me a couple of shots. It's gonna be the deal breaker. God, if I don't get drunk after taking these shots, okay, you got me. So, all right, well, you ready to go back to the room? I was like, this is the last shot because I've been telling my husband, it's getting real. Okay. Takes the past thing. We need to have a conversation because everything that I was trying to do to get him not to talk to me. Yes, it was like a reversal, you know, it was a reversal. It was just like, well, I can't drop it like it's hot, like I wanted to, can't get drunk like I wanted to. I'm so uncomfortable. So this gotta be what I gotta do. And with tears in my eyes, I think the hardest thing though, Eric, was for me to tell my husband. The hardest thing about ministry and accepting my calling was telling my husband. Because to me, that can't be cool. Who wants to be married to a preacher? Not knowing that, you know, I still wear my J's and my holy jeans, and the Holy Spirit will convict you. You might see some pastors might see this on here, but the standpoint that I'm gonna leave with you on this journey, any of us, you ain't gotta have a call in ministry, a call, whatever the call is in your life. The Holy Spirit is a corrector. If you're out of order, people don't have to correct you. He's gonna correct you. So when you get that kind of correction, that's when you know that you're out of order, you know.

SPEAKER_04

And I know he has been because when I I I haven't played the stocks in three weeks. And um, when I would play, even if I hit, I felt bad. I'd be like miserable.

SPEAKER_01

You'd be miserable.

SPEAKER_04

Miserable. I'd be so miserable, I'll put the money back in the machine.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, let me take it to the church.

SPEAKER_04

And and the reason I asked that, because I went to see my mom last week. She's in the hospital. Um, she got her gallbladder surgery one day. And out of 50 years, just being around my mom a whole lot, I mean, I'm her baby, you know, and just talking to her. I asked her to pray. Let's pray. And she was like, we prayed after we finished praying, she was like, You ain't never asked me to pray. God must be working. And we ended up praying about four times that whole day throughout the day. I'm asking, let's pray, let's pray, let's pray. And I'm I'm trying to figure out where it's coming from because I'm I had never been that prayer. Like, we're gonna work it out, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, that's God. When the lady at the church would call me and say, Angie, you got scripture. No, you got prayer in the morning. I said, Let me do all um welcome and announcements. She was like, No, girl, you're gonna pray. I was like, let me do welcome and announcement. I would find myself trying to practice a prayer. I'd be like, all right, I'm gonna try to sound like everybody else, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04

And and to be completely honest, like, I wasn't feeling this today. I I just I I got a lot going on in my head.

SPEAKER_01

You ain't got Tim, I'm gonna give you a little secret. You don't got Tim. The gift of prophecy is real. The first time I saw you, I know it's something different. I know you want you good, I know you're I already know that. Because God has showed you, showed me you in the spirit you're carrying something. And so we're here talking about you know, getting through things, we have to get through things together. That's what brings us together because sometimes you may think you're the only person going through it and can't nobody relate. Hey, might not be the exact same situation, but but we on the same street, we got the same exact address because spiritually, I feel your spirit. Now we are called to be prayers one to another. We're supposed to carry each other's burdens and griefs and all of that good stuff, and when you know it, you know it. And the reason why I I could feel it, you know, because it's like Eric Kane, his normal, you know what I'm saying, self, not in a bad way. But it's time for you to do what's been troubling you, and then you'll feel free again. And it's just let go, everybody. Come on, join this good old team of you know because it's it's real, but it's necessary. I couldn't go through what I go through if I wanted a place where I'm at right now, and I know what certain scriptures mean to cast your cares upon him. I know what it is to be, yet I walk through the valley, you know. I know so many different things, and if it had not been for the Lord who was on my side, I would have been lost it. I try to keep it together because I've been prone to having to try to keep it together. Because when you've been conditioned, like I've been conditioned, like my mama told you, I had a mama like Ray, you know what I'm saying? Girl, you better put one foot in front of the other one. You can do this, you know what I'm saying? Even though you're having a bad day, ain't nobody gotta know you having no bad day. Pick yourself up, you know what I'm saying? So I have to continue, even when it doesn't look right, even when it doesn't feel right, and it's like, God, me, you know, but he's carrying me through something that should have broke me a long time ago, a long time ago, when I thought I could have been doing ministry from the inside of a prison. To help somebody else, what does it feel like to seem like everybody has counted you out and then you ain't never gonna be able to get to your full potential because you started counting me out before I even got started. But when you got somebody that's before you, you ain't got to worry about who's against you, and no matter what people say, he's gonna always clear it. Because yeah, I was hood, but now I'm hood holing. And when you hear people say if he did it for you, he'll do it for me. You know what I'm saying? But every single thing that he's took me through, I ain't scared to go to the project. I still look like them from me. I still look like that welfare recipient to me. You know, I know if my end's on me, you can get a little quick little check, but it ain't working on nothing. You know what I'm saying? You spend about a time to go to Pulaka. But at the end of the day, I'm not afraid of anything that this world can throw at me because I can do so much more than it's like what I'm still standing.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, and with that, um again, what would you tell that little girl?

SPEAKER_01

Girl. You you finally you finally getting it. It took you a little minute, but I feel like as long as you keep releasing, you'll get to where you need to get to. And don't forget what your mom told you. Not my daddy, as much as I wanna be able to be, but she was like everything. If my mama said it, I could take that chip to the bank. So listen to what your mama said.

SPEAKER_04

And that's since you has been, I can say, under her wing for years and and learning from her. I know it's been a blessing um because I I've gotten to know Miss Angela a lot. And I say miss with out of respect. What will you tell your little girl?

SPEAKER_02

Oh.

SPEAKER_04

Because now you had to revisit that in about what, 16 years to be 50?

SPEAKER_02

Right? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04

You learn a lot more till then. So today is a marking point of what you can tell her right now versus what you can tell her five, six, seven years later.

SPEAKER_00

I would tell her that it's okay not to be strong. And it's okay to allow people in for help. I I I don't know if you remember, I was at the house for something, and your mom was there, and I had just had my abortion, and I was walking around in some sweatpants with child, and she was cooking breakfast like she always does. Jamise was there too, and I was laying in the bed, and she said, She came to me, she said, get up and take a shower. And I was like, looking at her, like, why is she telling me this? And she brought the food in there and she said, You can't look like what you've been through. And I just was like, and I, and she just was sitting there, just dressed to a tea, like having breakfast. And I just I I remember just needing that because she I was so depressed. And she said, get up and take a shower. And I was just kind of like, okay. So I will I would tell, I would tell my little girl, it's okay. It's okay to to let people in. And I think it's crazy because my niece, I try to nurture those things into my niece that something was not nurtured inside of me. I try to tell them her, like it's okay to talk. I try to tell her, you know, because I know what she some of the things she's going through, you know. So I I would tell, I would tell her it's okay.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so by y'all saying that, I just want to say to all the women, thank you. Thank you. Um, on and off the camera, thank y'all for being in the world. Because we need y'all, because y'all are the nurturers, y'all are the final teachers, you know. Um, and to my mom, I'd just like to say thank you and I love her, you know, because I know uh without her, I wouldn't be the man I am. And without her, I wouldn't know how to treat a woman, you know, um, because I do treat women like I treat my mom, you know. Even the ones I don't like, you know. It ain't too many.

SPEAKER_01

I did right. Yeah. That's a respect.

SPEAKER_04

You know, and you know, because from the person to the street walking lady to the lady in church, I give them all the same respect, you know. I got to because that's how I was taught. My mom taught me to treat a lady like a lady.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

But I just want to thank y'all for being women, being strong women, and being women of um, how can I say strength. And being uh not afraid to voice your opinions when needed, you know, and carrying the message like we need y'all. So thank you. And take it away, Miss Destiny.

SPEAKER_00

I will start my closing.

SPEAKER_04

Let y'all know.

SPEAKER_00

You just listened to the Blinded Truth Podcast, the truth that built who I am, powered by Destiny is by choice support services. If this episode spoke to you, remember this. Who you are today was shaped by the truth you chose to face, not the truth you ran from, but the truth you own. Every setback, every moment you sold yourself short, every time you questioned your worth, it all played a part in building who you are becoming. Growth isn't easy, but it's necessary. Keep choosing you, keep doing the work, keep walking in your truth. And remember, your destiny is by choice, not by chance. And until next time, keep walking in your truth. Bye.