The Blinded Truth

Two Generations, One Graduation: 30 Years in the Making

• Destinnee • Season 1

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What happens when determination, sacrifice, and perseverance come full circle—30 years later?

In this inspiring episode of The Blinded Truth, we share an unforgettable story of resilience, family legacy, and the power of never giving up on your dreams. "Two Generations, One Graduation: 30 Years in the Making" is more than a graduation story—it's a testament to overcoming obstacles, breaking generational barriers, and proving that it's never too late to finish what you started.

This emotional conversation explores the challenges, setbacks, victories, and life lessons that connect two generations through one extraordinary milestone. Whether you're pursuing your own goals, supporting a loved one, returning to school, or simply looking for motivation to keep pushing forward, this episode will remind you that success doesn't have an expiration date.

If you've ever wondered whether your dream is worth fighting for, this episode is for you.

🎓 Topics Covered:
• Generational achievement
• Adult education and returning to school
• Family legacy and inspiration
• Overcoming adversity
• Personal growth and perseverance
• Motivation and resilience
• Breaking cycles and creating new opportunities
• Life lessons learned across generations

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Have you ever achieved something years after you first started? What dream are you still chasing? Share your story in the comments below.

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SPEAKER_02

Welcome to the Blonde Truth Podcast where real stories meet real healing. We are your hosts, Destiny Vance and co-host Eric. And today's episode is titled Two Generations, One Graduation, 30 Years in the Making. This is more than a milestone. This is a legacy. A mother and daughter, two different paths, one powerful finish. Life delayed, tested it and tried to break it, but it was not stoppable. This moment provides, it proves it is never too late to go back and get what you started. Today we are talking resilience, redemption, and what it looks like to finish strong together. This episode is powered by Destiny is by Choice Support Services. And I get to do this episode with my mom. And we get to do a lot this long together. So can you share? My first question is for the people that don't know who you are and what your story was or is, because I don't even think Kayla and Josh really know a more of your story than I do. I think they know bits and pieces, but probably but if you can start off by telling your story and who is Robin.

SPEAKER_01

Well, when I first um you were going to like the high school.

SPEAKER_02

Sure, wherever you want to start.

SPEAKER_01

Of course, when I went to high school, it's not like it is now, where you have guidance, counselor, somebody guiding you and showing you what you what you want to do as far as a career. You kind of throw it out there unless you have family that's gonna intervene and try to help you. So when I was getting ready to graduate, my uh dream job was to be a criminologist, which is probably now changed to forensic science or whatever. So I set off, I didn't, I got accepted to colleges, but I didn't want to leave home. Um my dad had died of cancer, and I had um two sisters and a brother that I felt like that I didn't want to leave them. So I chose not to go to college away. I chose to stay home and I went to Virginia Western. Well, I started out with the classes and with diseases, I thought it was okay. So I didn't succeed the first year, and I went back to the second year and I started passing because I had different teachers, but then I changed my mindset when computer computer era came out. So here you got 2018 going and stopping, and then waiting a couple years, maybe to 87, to go back doing when they started the computer era. So I attempted to learn the computers. Um did partial, I did pretty good with those classes. Then I stopped again. Um I can't remember the reason why I stopped. I think it was just I think it was uh I got enough knowledge to get a job doing computer work. So then I decided to get married and have a child. I said, Oh, I'm gonna go back to school. I'm at home, at home, mom. Let me go back to school and try to uh start over again. Got into the swing of things and had a um bad marriage, bad breakup. Um there was a lot going on and I had to stop. Yeah, I said, let me attempt this again. So then um I started up again. Uh being off from work due to an illness, couldn't work, so I was off. I said, let me go to school full time. In the group, decided I wanted to be a medical uh transcriptionist. These are the these are things that Virginia wasn't offered back in the ancient days. Medical transcription, I would do that, get into hospital work, got in there and well, decided that that wasn't for me. Then I had this time over Kayla and then had Josh. And I said, I'm going back for coding. I'm I'm gonna go do coding. We've seen like something new, something fun. I I can remember we were struggling, we had some some adversities, things that happened in our our travels as a little family, and I had to carry the kids to school. Yes. He was about two. They take him to the park and play and then bring them over. And um, the ladies in the class and the teacher they they loved it. They he came there, they gave him lollipops and they sit in the back of the class. And uh, you know, started out with that. So I was doing good, good pace, good pace, doing good. Then I stopped again. So I said, this is it. I'm not gonna, I'm just gonna. I was so close. I only had four classes to finish the coding, and then I went to a divorce and other stuff, and I said, forget it. Then comes on my oldest child. I'm all going back to school. It's okay, you should. Come on, go be a Virginia West. You should ask him about your stuff. I get up there and start talking to the people in the first two classes. I want him paid, you know, one class. I said, Well, and it changed, it ended up not being four classes left, it ended up being a little bit more. So I said, I head of mind said, I'm gonna finish this time. I'm the oldest of four children. My baby sister has accomplished, um, is getting ready to finish her master's in nursing. Um, and she's and I've been into her graduations, and you know, I felt like that I should have been the first to walk across the stage from our our family, our circle. So I said, I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna finish this time. And I tell you, getting older, and I think that uh ADHD sits in when you get older and kind of sit still, do homework, stay focused, work, grandkids, kids, life. But when I finished that last class, when I got that certificate in the mail, I was like, I think I'm finished.

SPEAKER_02

I was shocked. She said, I think I finished. They sent me a certificate in the mail, and I was like, You want to call your advisor and see what's going on because uh I don't know what to tell you.

SPEAKER_01

The important thing to me is that I she told me you can walk, you can graduate, you can walk that that is uh over 40 years of education. I graduated in 83. Yeah, so now it's over 40 years that I'm gonna walk across the stage and receive an actual diploma. My dad's not here, my grandma's not here, but my mom and my sisters and my brothers are here to see me, you know, whether they come or watch it on video, we walk across the stage. And for my oldest child to graduate with me, which and she knows she can tell y'all, I pushed her, pushed her, tried to force her to finish to go to college, go to college, do it, and she did just stop. So she tried one semester and threw it at the top. Yep. And for her to go back and be determined, I think we all three of us, me, you and Josh, sit in the advisors.

SPEAKER_02

We did, and she was she was like going through all of us trying to figure out what we wanted to do. And I was like, at first I was going back to do um, it was like an associates in medical uh medical health management health administration because at the time I was working as an underpayment analyst for um a hospital, and I loved it work because we were considered like the the lawyers of the contractors that fought with the insurance company to recoup the money for the hospital. It wasn't like collections. We were literally like looking at contracts, like a contract. And then I was like, you know what? I really don't want to be in the healthcare field. I I really don't want to deal with all of this.

SPEAKER_03

So they go back into the healthcare field.

SPEAKER_02

So we are technically not recognized by health administration as um health workers. We can work in the healthcare field, but we are not considered health workers. And it's weird because they make us take biology and medical terminology.

SPEAKER_03

So that's pretty much the made of the mama.

SPEAKER_02

Right. So it's crazy. We're not recognized. Which me and my professor had that conversation about why we recognize as healthcare workers, because if we are, if we health underneath the health care field, then it will be a little bit more selection in who can apply for the program and who can't, like nursing program. But um I think the the the big part about us is that at one point I wasn't even supposed to graduate high school because I was expelled from high school.

SPEAKER_01

And that that was um very um, I don't know, to watch when that I was still recalled that day right up the street here in the county when we well we went to the city and they said they they couldn't even say that you go to North Sea Town. You couldn't go to what are all their little programs that that was it, you were out of the system. And I'm thinking, I'm just kicking her out of the system. What is she supposed to do? So then we turned around to Ronaldo County. They had their meetings and they said, Well, we can't do it. And and that day to see that defeat, I felt that defeat in your face in you. I mean, you know, that hurt, not defeat, but hurt, because it's like, man, I I think I have messed up. That's the that's what I got from you. And I was like, we're gonna fix this. So what did I do?

SPEAKER_02

She called herself homeschooling. It was called going to the VA, sitting up at the VA and and volunteering and do this worksheet.

SPEAKER_03

Did it work?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, yeah, she was able to keep going to school, keeping her keeping her busy. So, I mean, it didn't count for school credits or whatever, but it did show that she was her willingness to finish school.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

So it did work.

SPEAKER_02

It got me back in school. You got her back in school, but her method was a little unorthodox, if you ask me.

SPEAKER_01

But she transported patients, she got to know the nursing staff, everybody knew her, they loved her.

SPEAKER_03

So, what did you learn from that?

SPEAKER_02

That I needed to get a job and wanted to keep a job. I did learn, I did learn that. Um so when that happened, GED was frowned upon. If you got your GED, that means you were stupid. You know, like you walking across the stage having a high school diploma meant more than getting your GED. It wasn't, it wasn't as acceptable as now.

SPEAKER_01

Like just school, I went to night school and got a piece of paper.

SPEAKER_02

And I felt like, and I think that's why I advocate so much for my kids now. I felt like, yeah, I was doing some things in school that I definitely shouldn't have been, but I felt like y'all could at least look at the the why and and said, How could we help her? You know, Norse Taylor wasn't an option, but I'm like, there was kids doing worse off than me, and y'all let them go into the school. Y'all was making it seem like I was just this terrorist.

SPEAKER_01

But I think, I think, all in all, not not having anybody to give me any inkling on what do we needed to prepare ourselves for the different board meetings. Had they looked, they they looked back from day one elementary school all the way up, all the stuff, all the stuff that she had done. And they probably said, no, let's let's just get rid of this problem now.

SPEAKER_03

So, with that, how important is education?

SPEAKER_02

I I would have to say education is definitely important because what made me go back to school is I saw that I wasn't going to get far without something, you know, because I looked at getting past for a team lead position and what I was doing, and I was doing the team lead position, and they gave it to somebody that didn't even want the position. They were pushed to have the position. I was like, okay. So I was seeing where it was kind of like you need something to get you to where you want to be in life, instead of having to take the jobs that is like, well, we'll pay you this, but then you get something else, or you see something else, and they're like, Well, you don't have this, you know, which was so I I always tell people, like, I don't care how you get it. Like when I would redo re-entry and people are like, I don't have my high school diploma. What do you want to get your GED? You know, like go and and take that step. It don't matter if you walked across the stage or not. Like, go do what you have to do, you know. But also, I think people define education as going to a four-year college when all in all, it's not doing it. It's you can go to a trade school, you can. I think about Angie, how knowledgeable she is with hair. Now she's testing people to get their license, you know.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, school is great, but it's it's basically systematic, you know, and we're just conditioned to do this. Go to school, go to jerk, go to work, go, you know. And that's, you know, uh order.

SPEAKER_01

In in various jobs that I've had, I kind of self-taught myself. So, like when I went over, when I started the VA, I was uh what they considered a health aid, working in housekeeping. I did it with excellence. I cleaned the building where the um uh where um um human resources was, and everybody knew me. They knew my work, they they, you know, oh, this is good. I got high accolades, whatever, and then I got sick and had to leave. So when I came back, I had to prove myself again as a unit secretary, which which I had never done that kind of work, but I had to mold that floor into I'm in control when I'm in this seat. This is my seat. And they they recognized that hey, she's driving this ship, she's she's getting these patients out of here, da da da da da. So I left a name there, a good, good standing name, and went somewhere else. When I went to the PTSD program, I changed the filing system around. I changed the application system around to that I understood what I needed to do the process to get these guys from wherever, as far as uh Seattle, Washington, to a program. I worried all weekend one time because there were guys that were coming from all over the United States. And I was worried, they're gonna get from the airport, from the bus station without anybody bothering them, to their destination to get checked in. And if and the director told me, don't take it home with you. We got this, it's gonna be all right. So that that to me, that I had to I prove myself, and that's when I started getting outstanding, getting bonuses because hey, she's about, you know, I'm not an RN, I'm not a doctor, don't have a PhD, none of that, but I'm working towards getting done what needed to be done for the patients. And that that's kind of been nobody trained me to do that. It's that I is that that I wanted to prove myself. I self-taught myself to do this to show excellence. And then, oh, this is good. This they like, they went to my supervisor and said, Hey, she's doing an awesome job.

SPEAKER_03

So you worked at the VA? Yeah, how long you've been there?

SPEAKER_01

It'll be 23 years old.

SPEAKER_03

Congratulations. Yeah, so you already come up on another celebration.

SPEAKER_01

No, I'm not gonna retire.

SPEAKER_03

Oh so question Mother and daughter graduating together, walking across the stage together. That don't happen very often. So what does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, it's a lot that I can say I didn't she didn't do it to me in after high school. She did it later, but I did a good job. It was rough. Um coming out of uh the first marriage and and and taking her and trying to start over a new life and and do things and keep her safe. Then the other two came along the same thing. And it just has not been an easy road. And I tell all three of my kids, you're gonna have bumps, but if it's something that you want to do, put your mindset to it and do it. They have seen me work 12-hour shifts and get off of work and go to church and sit in church four and five hours and keep moving. They have seen me work two jobs back to back for as long as she can remember, probably. I'm still doing, I don't know what I'm gonna stop. But it's about determination. So I can say that I it took her a while, and the other two may come along and go to college too, and do what they need to do. But it took me a while to get her on the right road. But what I said to her, her growing up, she may not have listened then, but it did stick. And she realized, hey, mama was right.

SPEAKER_03

So, what does it mean to you?

SPEAKER_02

An accomplishment because um it's kind of like I didn't see her give up, but she didn't see me give up, and um, you know, just to think, like she said, everything that she has seen me go through, and I've seen her go through, it's kind of like wow, we did it, you know. And to see her do it at the age she's at, I'm like that's crazy. Edit it out, um, but no, like to see her do it at the age she has done it at, you would think that it would be easier, but to see her working and while she was doing it, both my sister and brother had babies, and then yeah, her babysitting with a part-time job and still and then she came and helped me, you know, with everything I had going on. Like that, that that's that's big. So when I tell people, like I was talking to my professor about it, he was like, Who's all walking? I told him, I said, My mom gets to walk. He said, Your mom gets to walk? I said, Yeah, and and I was telling him, he was like, I've never seen that in my class before. For somebody to tell me that they're walking with their parents or something like that, you know. He was like, That's that's pretty big.

SPEAKER_03

It is, it's a dope, it's real dope for just to hear it. I'm kind of like blown away by it. But that's resilience, and I've been around you a lot, and I really didn't know your story. And I didn't, you know, know everything that you've been through, and it's touching.

SPEAKER_02

She was vague about a lot of stuff, but she couldn't walk. She had a surgery where my aunt trained me to keep her open wound clean and changed the dressing.

SPEAKER_01

And she was like, um, we hadn't started high school.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That it was after I had Josh. I had a mass on my appendix, it wrapped around my appendix and my right uh over there. Um was really so sick that I didn't realize what was going on. Fever, pain. I even got up and went to church. It was the Thanksgiving, came home with my mom's house to eat, came back, and was and still in pain until I said, I can't do this no more. I went to the emergency room and they did some tests and said, and she said, You gotta have surgery. So they cut me from my belly button all the way down, and it was an open wound, it was about that wide. And she said, It has to heal from the inside out, so we can't do wound back. We can't do no, you have to have somebody come in and change your dressing every day. Well, my sister's a CNA. She came and she said, I can't come over there because I work too. I'm gonna show your daughters how to do it. Well, that didn't work with Caleb. I watched his child turn. Why don't you take when she first saw the wound? And I I said, well, she can't do it. So then Destiny stepped in, she irrigated it, packed it, and they watched it grow from this down to a little stitch. I mean, it it took about four weeks to do that, but it was it was a lot, you know, and she just to see her, like people had to come in and help.

SPEAKER_02

Take help take care of us. She couldn't, um, so this is how I ended up with a perm in my hair because she couldn't do my hair anymore. So my aunt had this idea to put a perm in my hair. I mean, it was nice, but uh, it was like a whole new responsibility, you know, because my aunt, I wouldn't let my aunt do my hair. And she couldn't do my hair because of her hand. She did you lose feeling or something?

SPEAKER_01

That was the first time. Y'all were little.

SPEAKER_02

Um I forgot what had happened.

SPEAKER_01

The first time I the doctor over-medicated me, which caused me to have a lactic adeptosis, whatever they call it, where um I lost strength in my hands and I wasn't able to walk. I had to um go through therapy. I had to go um inpatient therapy and then outpatient therapy for like months. I was a walker, then a cane, and then I was I couldn't drive, couldn't do nothing. So when I was going through the process of physical therapy, my cousins doing it, she came and got them and Kayla and Dessie and took them to North Carolina a couple weeks so they could get me adjusted. So then yeah, people had come in and helped me do different things, and I couldn't do, I couldn't grip to do her their hair, neither one of them. So yeah, she ended up with her. And she had the most hair.

SPEAKER_02

I did. And she just, I don't know, it was like just you don't really know what that's like to go through that until you start going through something. And as a parent, you know, to think somebody has to come in and take care of my kids. So when I got sick, my mom was like, my mom and my sister was like the ones that came in to a point like when I tell people I had COVID, they like, oh yeah, I had COVID. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Uh literally, I was in the ICU and she couldn't even come into my room. And I worked there and she worked there. My sister couldn't come into the room and she worked there. And they were having conversations of like, if you code, who do we call? What do you mean, who do we call? Um, you know, so you just to see and know like she went through that, and she still like tried to make a way for us. You really don't know until you go through it, you know. And to know how they feel like the next day, am I gonna wake up? What happens to my kids? What does that look like? You know?

SPEAKER_01

Because you don't have a plan, you don't, you know, it was just me. The children's fathers, you gotta I wouldn't have left them with them with no cost. I would my sister was gonna be, if anything ever happened to me, she was gonna be that go to to raise the kids.

SPEAKER_02

Could you imagine me being raised like that?

SPEAKER_03

So let me ask y'all a question. How much does faith play a part in all of this?

SPEAKER_00

A lot.

SPEAKER_01

Um I I can say that um back where we originated when they were little when we started going to church. It was it was like a whole new experience. The praying, the fasting, people praying for you, you know, uh a group. It was awesome. Um to know that you had somebody other than your family, you had another, you had a church family that was there for you. So yeah, our our fa, I'm telling you, they I if I had the pictures to show when we went to when I we first started going to church, I brought them little um, I think it was little angels. I think I got them got one at home. And her and her sister had little little little crosses, little angels on their Easter outfits that I brought. And it was just, you know, they tell you, it didn't matter. When we had prayer, we was there. We had anything on there with my left and right. They was they was anybody that knew us, my girls was there. Always, always at church, always involved, no matter what. No matter what, they was there. And and I think that that's that's important to have some to have that backing that you know um your faith. You gotta have Christ. You can you you think you're gonna make it out here in this world, but God knows it's probably the time to come back on I wasn't gonna be here before I had kids. I was gonna get killed. Yeah. Um if I didn't have somebody there um before I turned my life over to faith praying for me, I don't think I would be sick. Because her father's mind. Drugs and alcohol took it over, but it was rough. I had knives pulled on me, I've been put outside in the cold. It was right. I was pregnant with her and he put me outside. On the porch, I had on with a pair of socks and a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_03

You know, just listening. It's like you hear that story over and over and over again with um strong women, man, life, alters, young, but not giving up to get back to it. It's just man, it's just amazing because it can do a whole whole lot of different ways.

SPEAKER_01

Because I said to myself, I did not grow up like this. My mom and daddy, they had an argument. We didn't hear it. They were in the room or they wasn't in the house. We didn't hear nothing. He never, my dad never raised his voice at my mom. Um it he was a Vietnam vet. He maintained posure. I mean, and he was very she was strict, which I'm glad he was, because the things that he he instilled in me as a young before he passed away, I'm like, hey, they'll tell you, they couldn't go spend the night in nobody's house. They couldn't go hang out with Susie and Billy, no, because no, uh-uh. I wasn't having that. So they did these little things they did them behind my back, but no, I wasn't having that because it wasn't I had to sit before uh a panel before I was going to my first party, and I was in 11th grade. Who you gonna be with? Where you gonna go? And I I could it wasn't with a group of friends from school, it was with my cousin. So when I went to the party, it didn't beffered. I had to sit up front, I couldn't go in there and mingle with the people. That that's the as far as I got as far as a party. When no hanging out dance, uh-uh, you stay right here. I'm watching your dad say you couldn't.

SPEAKER_03

I think I think that's what uh the fabric of America is missing right now. It is, it is um just putting the structure and and just be um that don't make women like y'all know more like you, my mom, it's a different mindset. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I'm not saying it's a good thing either. Because if if if if you wasn't raised like that, I'm pretty sure she couldn't have the things she got to carry on with her her kids, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Um and I think too, like, I mean, yes, and I think people need to understand this too. Like, what she went through with my dad, that didn't carry over into my relationship with him. You know, I'm out of my my siblings, I can say that I'm grateful that I had a relationship with my dad. And between them two, because it was weird because she went through a very abusive relationship with him, but he would tell me, like, and you don't let a man beat on you, and this is how you know he's playing in your face. And I would be like, one plus one is two. So you used to, and it would be like, but I think he learned after, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

He learned, I think what happened with him, and I and I I I think back to it after I left. Thought I was gonna stay there and take it. But when I said, No, I'm done, that's it, and I left and took her and left. And when I stood in his face at downtown Roanoke, and I told her, I'm not afraid of you no more. I'm not afraid of you no more. I it took courage because I was like, How did I go from this to this? Self-esteem and all. So when I made that that step to leave and leave it behind, he he told her, Your mom, this is to your mom, your mom was I messed up. And so he told her, told her, I messed up. Because she's a good person. He realized it after, you know, I got out of it.

SPEAKER_03

And that's the second time I heard that this this this year. Somebody saying that they had that person. You know, uh, it was an older lady that I worked with. We worked the same job. And her ex-husband worked there with her, and he walked past one day and she was like, That was the best man I ever had right there. I was like, huh? Out of the blue. So I know how much that can mean to a person. Either it can tear you down or it can build you up, you know. It can go either way, you know. But coming from a uh a place where me and my sister had different fathers, I didn't have a relationship with my dad. And she did, but this may sound crazy, but I'm kinda glad I didn't. Because I didn't pick up his bad ways.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I think she's the only one that's kind of had uh I don't know if she wanna call it close, but a relationship her dad. Yeah. Um I hate to say it, but the uh the other two uh fathers, um they wasn't present in their lives. Her dad was even present in the other two. Yeah, he he can't and even her they they cared about the other two like they he did, like they were his kids, you know, and that you don't find nowhere. But I guess he's seen different things and all they you know, hey, they can come go with us if they want to, if you know, at the time, but they would they were little, but it takes a villager raised a job.

SPEAKER_02

And it it made me like, you know, I couldn't say I had daddy issues because I was like, you know, my daddy would pop up on me. What have you been doing? You know, or I knew if my if I needed something for my kids, if he was still alive and I needed something for my kids, then then oh he gonna make a way, you know. And they know they probably up walking up and down all these streets of the walk, he ain't gonna drive you nowhere, but you gonna walk, you know. But it is that's why it's foreign to me, like when people say they have issues with their dads or seeing my kids go through with their dad, because I'm like, my daddy, he didn't care what y'all had going on. He made sure that, you know, up until he passed away, like I had a relationship with him.

SPEAKER_03

You know, um some stuff, like I know all of us got our uh hang-ups, you know, and some things that are not good, but they're also some good stuff that's been instilled in us, also from that era, you know, and again, we're losing that. You know, um this YN stuff is just driving me crazy.

SPEAKER_02

And I have to say that, you know, I think for her, there was a lot of things that I think is why we didn't see eye to eye when I was a teenager. Because I think a lot of my ways may have triggered her from because I my daddy, when I say it was like spinning image, like spinning image. So, you know, I don't know what that that feels like of you gonna put your hands on me. Oh, you gonna put your hands on me? I'm gonna I'm gonna fight you back. Like it's gonna be, it's we're gonna fight. I'm gonna throw pots to the point. Kayla probably, she ain't gonna kill me. But when her dad, my sister's dad, would try to fight mom, oh, I'm down there fighting. We we outside his house. I'm like, what, 10, 11? And I'm out there, oh, we fighting, and I'm gonna get my daddy. It was no problem, you know. But I realized, you know, that there probably was some things in me that she was because my mama doesn't like when I get silent because she's like, so are you gonna fight somebody? Like, what are we doing? What are you gonna do? Because it I think she knew like when he got silent, she couldn't tell when it was coming, what what and what angle it was coming from. And so, you know, I think that, yeah, we're losing that, but I think that too, depending on how the relationship was, I don't think it was it's all that healthy, you know. Like, like my daddy instilled a lot of great things, you know. I can I can navigate. If if she put if she did a scientific study of navigating, putting all three of me and my siblings out there and how we're gonna navigate the streets, I'm pretty sure if it was survivor, I'm I'm coming back alive. Them other two light brights, they gonna be on there crying, and I don't know what this is, and they're not gonna survive.

SPEAKER_01

And it's not that they didn't get the same raids and nurturing, it's that I think for her, it was the I think it's in her genes, and the the get up the go because she was always my go-to. Okay, Destin, you got me up with this, got this. And when she had to, when she was like in the third or fourth grade, and I had to work, and she had to get off the school bus and catch the city bus to the library and sit in the front because I knew the bus driver, the city bus driver. She had to sit in the front and got off the school bus and would call me and say, Hey, I'm at I'm at the library for a reading program. And then the lady would take her to the daycare, the daycare provider on her own. And I I and it was back then, you know, it wasn't. I wouldn't do that now with none of my none of my kids, none of my grandkids. No, they uh I wouldn't do that, but she did all every day. Oh, was it Tuesday to Thursday? It was two days with, but I knew she got off that school bus and she go to that program, the reading program, and was there. Didn't skip a beat. But you can't if you tell one of my other two, we're gonna ride the bus, you're gonna go on the bus from A.

SPEAKER_02

You're gonna get you gonna get this is the bus you're gonna transfer to.

SPEAKER_01

What bus, ma? They're gonna get. I'm sorry, I love them, but they go, they it's just and I I don't know. Genetics is not the same. No, it's not but I know that you know, now I tell anybody, my co-workers, anybody I said, I have said a lot of things to my kids. I made them do a lot of things. And I sometimes interview the two grand other two grandkids, not her kids, other two kids, about homework and stuff. And I see that she may not have listened back then, but now she's listening. Organization, she got that from me.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yeah, by the way, I heard that uh one grandson made principal list, and two I made honorable.

SPEAKER_02

She all made eight straight A's. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's that's a big accomplishment right there.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it is. And here too, I'm in the mama's ear talking. When they get this, I said when they get distracted, they want to act out, don't want to listen, go and come get a book. She, hmm. Yeah, they'll tell you. Write the spelling words ten times each. Yeah. And if you miss one, go write them another 10 times. They'll tell you. They made straight A's on the spelling words.

SPEAKER_02

And it's funny because when she would write letters on the pieces of mail, I'm finding myself I'm right leaving notes for them to do certain stuff. And I used to think it was the most craziest thing. Like I'm reading this back of the electricity bill, take the food out, do this. Now I'm like underlining and do this, you know. So it's like those things, and at the time I didn't want to listen, you know, but I was her child that if I was doing something, she knew about it, to the point my sister got pregnant. We were like, we didn't even know she knew what sex was. Like, how did this happen? She was like wheel. Yeah, right. But you know, with me, you know, she had those uncomfortable doctor visits, going to the teen health center, and you know what I'm saying? Like, she she had those uncomfortable things, but I'm starting to see, like, I'm starting to do that now with my kids.

SPEAKER_01

She was the rebel. She was the rebel. She anything that could have been done in high school, uh or whatever, it started in preschool. I'm gonna tell you. Because the lady would, you know, they used to say, Send a little notebook, we'll write the notes. I tell you, she probably filled five books to school year because there's a did this, Dessin did this.

SPEAKER_02

And she kept them.

SPEAKER_01

I I I still got them. Yeah, she kept them.

SPEAKER_02

I got in trouble for the light falling on the chickens. Did they die? She kept the chicks in the incubators.

SPEAKER_01

Oh well, she died, she knocked the light over now, so she wouldn't be still, then she wouldn't hold somebody's hand line. You know what her excuse was? He was fat and sweaty. This is in preschools, but the preschool uh teacher's aide told me she said she got a strong fire, don't put it out, but kind of bring it down.

SPEAKER_02

And those people see me now. They love her. The people at the VA, they they see me now. Like they, I remember when I got expelled from school. I had a whole family at the VA. They had a whole intervention conversation with me. And I'm like, and it's crazy because I tell people that, you know, the place here, Sabrina, Sabrina's place, Sabrina Reed worked at the the VA on the same floor as my mom. She was my mentor. The night that she got killed, she was supposed to come and get me and spend time with me. And the picture that is used for Sabrina, I took that picture because was retiring. And they I wanted to be a nurse, and they all sat down. Tim, Sabrina, Stephanie, Stephanie, all of them sat down with me and was like, you ain't getting into nursing school until you get your attitude together. I'm just gonna tell you now. But they all, it was like a family, you know. They all they and and now I see that with my own children. Like people, if they show up, they you know, people like, you need to get together, you know. Or they be like, I don't even know why you're showing off, and you know your mom ain't wrapped too tight, like, you know, it it's crazy to them because they like, do you not know who your mom is? Like, you you choose your mom to show up with, you know, where it's seen to go to school with makeup on a mask on her face from because the child didn't get off the school bus, she won't know what.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, we were working from home and she and she put one of them face mask things on the for and I had dyed my hair and dying her hair, and she got in her car and went to the school just like that.

SPEAKER_02

Well, but that is not a Robin thing, that would have been a Noel Dixon thing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so that is just crazy all together, yes. So, um, what is the best part about this whole experience? Y'all graduating, y'all going through all your trials and tribulations, y'all got closer, y'all bonded, y'all got a whole, y'all whole family. It's really like. Together now. Are they? Yeah. If I can say so.

SPEAKER_01

I mean I think it sets an example for the kids. Yeah. My grandkids. Because from the oldest, even down to the youngest, they see. Call Nene. Nene's there. Then they're gonna come. Then they're gonna they they see. And if I can't come, they get disappointed.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So they they uh it sets a present and for them to be able to see. Um graduating. It's not it's not just a young thing. Nene's graduating. So it sets it, it sets an example, and it's gonna show them that hey, I may not get it right the first time, but I can I can finish it later. We hope they get it right the first time.

SPEAKER_03

They will, they will, they will.

SPEAKER_01

But they they can they can they'll see that hey, if I stop, I can start again. You can always start again. So it'll it'll show them, you know, may not now, but as they get older, they look back, hey, you know, my name and my my mom or my my TT did it. My yeah, TT did it. So not TT. I'm sorry, we have different names for people. But yeah, they'll say they did it, you know. And their kids will see, hey, they did it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So it sets it sets a thing. And yeah, that's that's me to tell you we we had bumped bumped heads up a couple times, but I was like, I'm done. Don't even like she had Josiah with bumped heads. I didn't see him for like three months. Yeah, and it's and that that was hard. But then, you know, now when she gets in her little mood, I don't bother. When she ready to talk, she'll call. And same with me. That what's wrong with? Um I'm okay. Let me breathe. Because, you know, rather than separating yourself, time is too short. Because you don't want to say, I wish I could have, shoulda, woulda, that you know, I wish I had more time with grandma, I wish I had more time with daddy, I wish I had time more time with this one. Aunts that have passed away that you know, after growing up in an adult life, you don't spend that quality time because craziness in the family. Yeah, right. But you know, it's time out for all that. You know, we've got to start setting exact good examples. I got a couple nieces that are, you know, I was like mother hand to them when I was before I had kids, doing things for them. And I yeah, I'm like, um, you go back and you think, remember, oh yeah, she did do that. We spent time at Aunt Robin's house. She did that for us. I had two nieces I've carried, we carried them to church every day.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, they live with us for a little bit.

SPEAKER_01

They stayed with us, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So family is very important, yes.

SPEAKER_02

Even though they get on your nerves, you know, like um, my house is the house everybody comes to. And and my little baby nephew, he's getting on my nerves. Every time he comes around here, he rearranges everything. But you know, just to see my niece and nephew, they might be a lot, but just to be able to have that, you know, time, because they they know something something my best friend told me was when my sister was going through so much with her visitation stuff. And I I would because I'm the person that I'ma show you better than I can tell you, don't mess with my family. But what it was doing was it was causing more stress to me, to the point now, want me to tell you, I tell her, I tell her I don't have, I don't want to hear it because it takes my anxiety to another level. And people don't understand that I have Robin's DNA in me, but I'm pretty sure I got 60% of Noelle's DNA in me because when you do stuff that is not right, I go into a different mode of a person that I don't like. And I see my dad and my grandma in me, and I can realize why my grandma will say, you gotta contain that Dixon anger because it goes to another level. And so I something she told me was you can't control the situation, but what you can control is the space they come into. You gotta be able to create a safe space where they know I went through hell over here, and school was this, and dad's house was this, but I know when I come to my Nene's house, I can cheat, I can chill, I can, I can relax. And so, you know, family is a lot like Christmas. That was a lot, but it was fun, it was fun, and and and we had a good time, you know, and that's what makes me happy. Is everybody had a good time, everybody was together, you know.

SPEAKER_01

I think it was better. I can't the Florida trip was good. Yeah, I mean it that was a different type of fun. It was the only person was missing was Caleb. Yeah, every all the kids and and Josh and they came and and we had fun. Yeah. And so I mean legally packed my car to get from point A to Fort B. The kids was illegally sitting, but we got where we had to go. Yeah, and we and we had a good time. We had a good time, and they they enjoyed themselves and at the parks and everything. And I think this Christmas, this past Christmas, I think they did the different events being able to do they like that too. Yeah, yeah. And it just I think this means more to them, to the kids, that you know, we're doing these things and it's fun, and we don't have to travel and get in a car and go somewhere to do to spend money down. We can do it here at home.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, karaoke. We did all it was fun. And I think back to your question, what is great about this process? I probably reverted wrong, was today we're hearing Josiah say that I guess the image he wants or the person that he's trying to be is like me, you know. Because I, you know, you think that he will gravitate more toward a male figure, but I guess he's seeing not that that male figure is not doing, but he's like, my mom is doing a lot, you know, and and you know, that teenage stage I had to call her and say, I never forget last Mother's Day. I called her and I said, I now know how you felt and why there were days you just needed quiet. They always say you get it back, yeah, because the teenage stage will make you want to just go to the store, say you getting milk and not come back. It's starting to stick. And you can see it. And you can see it with with Keon and Clawney, too. You know, it don't it don't stop at just the kids, it starts, it's it's trickling down to my niece and nephew.

SPEAKER_03

So you let um your your your um nephew peanut come back over here?

SPEAKER_02

Yes, thank you, Kareem. He drive me crazy.

SPEAKER_03

But I heard he was on uh he was barred from here. I've been hearing a lot of stuff too. I don't know how to get all this information.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know how you did three kids because having him over here. First of all, we're all six years apart. Me, my sister, and my brother, and just thinking about how my son is 13, I have a 12-year-old, and having another one. That day I kept him for my sister so she can go get her hair done. I didn't know if I wanted to smoke a cigarette, drink some wine, or just cry. He drove me crazy, and so the thing, everything she was going through with threes, no ma'am. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And and I never saw my mom take a full trip, but one time to Vegas, to Vegas, and that was on the phone calling, checking in that what they doing.

SPEAKER_03

It's a good trip though to Vegas is a good place.

SPEAKER_01

She, yeah. I don't think I relaxed though, but yeah. But it was the first trip after having kids.

SPEAKER_02

I never seen her take, and then after that, she didn't take one until I think start traveling with y'all. Yeah, like I I never seen her, and I was just kind of like Josh through school, I said now I can do things.

SPEAKER_03

So with that then, is there anything that you want the world to know right now? Anything you want to say?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, ask her your question. You always ask. I'm I'm um I'm not my business, drink my water.

SPEAKER_03

We're getting to it. I'm I'm leading up to it. The suspense is killing you.

SPEAKER_01

I dunk my water.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, if you could tell your younger self something, what would you tell her?

SPEAKER_01

Tell my younger self? I think I would have told my tell my younger self, go ahead and go away to college. Do not come back to Rome. I think that I I think that um I would have done some different things. I think I would have stayed on that path of what I wanted to do. Yeah, I would tell my younger self leave that one alone. Leave that one alone.

SPEAKER_02

What I would say what I would tell my younger self, you know what, I don't, I don't, I don't regret anything I've been through because it has made me into who I am. But what I would say would be just keep pushing forward and don't don't give up. Don't allow don't allow your your right now to affect you because it gets better.

SPEAKER_01

It does get better. You share a lot. I think I've got to the point where I can't cry no more. I knew I remember when there was a time I was, what do I pray for? I pray for this. I asked a coworker one time, I don't even know what to ask for in prayer. Something she had done. And I said, I was like, I don't know what to ask what to say. What do I she said? Just keep just keep praying, just keep praying, keep praying. You can't stop praying. It was best advice because you can't stop. You gotta, you know, I'm putting them in God's hands. But you know, we always put them in God's hands, we put things in God's hands, and we pick it back up. We can't fix everything. We go through trials to go through trials again. You're not gonna get it right the first time. You're gonna keep making those mistakes. Like my sister said, it's a test, and until you pass that test, you're gonna keep it's like Groundhog Day. You're gonna keep coming back to six o'clock in the morning, same thing all over, until you satisfy Christ in the passing that test. You know, it just you know, there's little things like you don't like this one, you don't like that one. You gotta get over that so that you can he can open that door because you keep having that animosity or this, that, and the other. I'm not, you know, I'm not gonna sell you until you get it right. So you gotta we had a little conversation this morning because I got a co-worker that's really getting my nerves on my heart. But anyway, I said, I know, Lord, I gotta get over that and let it go before you'll open that door for me to have another paying job or work something different, something, whatever I'm asking him for. He ain't never failed me. Never whatever I have, she'll tell you, and I've told her testify whatever I have ever asked him for. You don't come today, you don't come tomorrow, and he don't come next month. It comes when he wants you satisfied what he wants you to do first. That's what he's gonna give it to you. Different things I had to stand up. Oh, I did ask him for that, but be careful.

SPEAKER_03

Uh I I know about that one. Yes, it was a um an honor and a privilege to do this episode. Um, yeah, I know the world has their own definition of black excellence. This is the definition for me. And I'm just glad I could be a part of it. And I will see y'all at graduation.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Let's get us some bells.

SPEAKER_03

Oh gosh, and poster boards and and balloons and all that good stuff. Y'all deserve it. I mean, I'm so proud of you too. Um continue to do the great work.

SPEAKER_02

Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_03

It's truly a blessing.

SPEAKER_02

Well, it's gonna start. You just listened to the Blind the Truth Podcast, two generations, one graduation, and 30 years in the making. Powered by Destiny is by choice support services. Let this be a reminder: delay is not denial. No matter how long it takes, your story is still yours to finish. This moment was not just about a diploma, it was about healing, perseverance, and legacy. Two journeys, one powerful statement. We finished what we started. If this spoke to you, do not quit now. Keep going and keep pushing, keep choosing you. And remember, your destiny is by choice, not by chance. Until next time, keep walking in your truth. And before we end, I do want to say, um, Ma, that you did a great job with me. And I know that I probably caused a lot of grief in a lot of the gray hair you have on your head. But a masterpiece takes time. And I am a masterpiece, and you did a wonderful job and have made me into the woman that I am and I am now. And I know that if dad was here, he would be very proud. And I'm pretty sure he's up person, he's doing a great job. But I wanted to let you know that you did a wonderful job with me. And and you never failed me in every in any part of my life. So I appreciate that. And I thank you. But a masterpiece takes time.

SPEAKER_03

Ending, ending hater. But you're right though. It does.

SPEAKER_02

Masterpiece takes time. Just know you're leaving your life insurance policy in good hands.