Licensed to Heal

Are you waiting for permission to heal? Here's the truth—you've already been licensed.

In this powerful episode of The Blinded Truth Podcast, co-hosts Eric Foster dive into what it really means to heal from trauma, heartbreak, rejection, addiction, disappointment, and life's deepest wounds. Too many people stay trapped because they're waiting for validation from others, when God has already given them the authority to walk in freedom.

This conversation will challenge you to stop living from your pain and start living from your purpose. Healing isn't just about surviving—it's about becoming who God created you to be.

If you've ever struggled with forgiveness, emotional healing, mental health, faith after trauma, or finding your purpose, this episode is for you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to the Vine Tree Podcast where real stories meet real healing. I'm your co-host, Eric Foster. Today's episode is titled License to Heal. We're honored to welcome Brad Robinson for a conversation about pain, purpose, and the power of transformation. Many people have credentials, but life's greatest healers are often those who have survived life's toughest battles. Sometimes the very thing that broke you become the thing God uses to restore others. Today we'll explore how lived experience, resilience, faith, and perseverance can become tools for the healing. Because sometimes the greatest qualification isn't what you've learned, it's what you've overcome. Today's episode is brought to you by Destiny by Choice Support Services. It's a great honor and pleasure to be interviewing not only a good friend, a good guy, and somebody that uh if it wasn't for our addiction, I don't think we would have crossed paths. But it's a pleasure to introduce Brad Robinson, aka the amazing guy. Welcome to the show, man. I appreciate you. I appreciate you. How you doing today?

SPEAKER_00 1:15

I'm good, man. I'm blessed.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

That's good. That's good. How was it work?

SPEAKER_00 1:19

It was good. It was good. I had to leave early. I had to get a tooth pulled yesterday and uh deal with some pain in that recovery part where you don't get no pain killers to help with that pain, so you got to do it all on your own. But besides that, man, everything's going good, man. I'm truly blessed right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

Okay, well, look, let's um start from the beginning of when when did you start working at town?

SPEAKER_00 1:43

February last year, 25.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

25. And I seen you come in in the office a couple times. Yeah. And I was like, okay, who is this guy? He's bringing papers to uh Jennifer. I don't know what he's doing. And then uh maybe a month later, you started working there. And it was an instant connection. Yeah. Uh we became friends and we became closer and closer as time went by. And what I can say uh about you is um you show up for me. Um you gave me my two-year chip and my three-year chip. And I'm trying to cry, man. And that was like really, really big for me because uh you thought about it, you know, you remember it, you know. And when you're invited to stuff, if he can show, you show. And I appreciate that, brother, from the bottom of my heart. Absolutely. So um what's Brad been up to?

SPEAKER_00 2:46

Just working, man. Still doing the re-entry stuff. Um working on getting my registered peer recovery specialist now. Um, I'm getting ready to start taking some classes on managing nonprofit. I'm gonna start doing my CSAC A requirements to get that done, and then I'm gonna start taking some grant writing classes. I talk to David at TAP a little bit about, you know, the order I should do things in. But the goal is now, I'm gonna stay at TAP, you know, for a little while. The ultimate goal is by 2028, I want to open up a sober living, you know, start off with you know the basic and then try to work up to like a level three. We got counselors, we got peers running it um to just, you know, something like that. I'm trying to get into the sober living world and try to help some of these guys get back on their feet. And if I can do it like a nonprofit, I want to do it like a kind of like an Oxford where you know they pay $125, $150 a week, but that money goes into an account. And after six months, they get that money back to go put it on a house, down, you know, whatever, rents, deposits, all that stuff to try to help them get back on their feet. So right now that's my ultimate goal.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

That's good, man. Because a lot of times that when people in houses like that, when it's time to leave, they're lost. I read it. Because when I was in the auction house, I had some money saved, but then I lost my job. And then I went through that like just staying afloat, man. And it was a scary, it was a scary time in life because you really don't know what's gonna happen. You know what I mean? And but the the great part about when you do it, you work and re-entry already. So you know what it takes to get the person to the next level. And you know, uh in 2028, I have my associate's degree too.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

So, you know, just to throw that out there, if you need me to help you get your stuff running, you know, like I got you.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Yeah, I'm gonna have the best of the best for sure. And I think too, um, teaching these guys, because you know how it is to be an alcoholic addict or you know, even involved in crime, like we have. We're so used to instant gratification. So I'm hoping if we can teach these people to sit on money and not to touch it, you know what I mean? Because that's hard for people that's been doing the life we've been doing for this long. So if I they can learn that, you know, that's the first stuff.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

I mean, that's hard even with a couple years clean. Yeah, it is. Because I know, man. I don't I don't love money. I like to have money, but I spend it just at the I mean to the last dime, man. Be like, you know what? Don't worry about it, I can get some more of that, you know. And that comes from me living the life I live. Like when I was out there, I'll go boost something, spend all that money, go back boost again, because I knew as long as I can get in the store and get out of the store, I'm gonna get some money because there's always somebody willing to buy the merchandise. You know what I mean? But that's a that's that's good, that's good, man. Um I hope, I hope uh it don't be a lot of resistance when it comes to you to put that plan in action. I hope it goes smooth for you.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to put the plan together.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

And it should go because you know too many people. We know too many people, you know. Um, my co-host, she just graduated her associates. Um her mom just got her belly coding. So, I mean, it's like people, my sister is a psychiatrist, you know, like we got too many connections, not to be successful, you know. And the people at TAP, you know, Jennifer, she's about to get her LCSW, Miss Gwen, um Nicole. Yeah, I mean, these people who um real help you and want to help you do better. It's not like they don't want to see you do better, you know. Even after I I left to, uh they still show me love, man. Open arms. You know, it is a beautiful thing when you meet people that are genuine, genuinely looking out for your best interest, you know what I mean? So yeah, that's good. And uh tell us about the book.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Book. I've got two books, two children's books. The first one is called Benny and Lila's Berry Long Journey. That's about two rabbits, you know, it's about addiction. Uh, one of one of the rabbits gets addicted to a berry bush because the way it makes you feel. He ends up passing away, and then Lila carries on and she becomes the trail guide bunny, which is basically a peer-recovery specialist of the forest. Um, the second book, that one's about dealing with addiction and overdose and grief. And then the second book is about um, it's Ali and Lila, it's about dealing with childhood trauma and bullying because working in recovery and being in recovery myself, a lot of addiction comes from childhood trauma, stuff that we can't let go. You know what I mean? So I'm trying to um reach these kids to the point where they know that there's resources out there, um, where they don't take bullying to personal, like you used to say, hurt people, hurt people. Try to make them understand that it's not personal. It's probably the person who's hurting you is being hurt themselves, and that's how they know how to deal with it. So just like bring them to terms and understand the permanent choices, you know, like death by suicide, you know what I'm saying? That's you to make them understand how that really affects everybody, not just them, you know what I'm saying? Because I'm starting to see it more and more with kids that age that don't understand the consequences, especially with social media and stuff going on. You know, kids are jumping on bandwagons and not really thinking for themselves and not understanding the resources they have at their hands. They they just need to know where to find them. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 8:32

You know, I I didn't realize until like a couple years ago of how much trauma I had experienced, you know, because when you think of like, I know when I did, I thought of trauma like being like beat up, you know, verbally abused and all that, but my trauma was environmental trauma, like just being around certain things that shaped me to who I am. And just like being 15 and 16 and being with older women that was grown, you know, I didn't realize that that was trauma all in itself until I started being an adult and trying to have relationships. And I've always had terrible relationships, you know. Um and the only women that I used to respect was my mom and my sister, you know. And I had to learn, well, I learned some bad behaviors, you know. And it's getting better because uh it's no excuse when you got the knowledge out there, you have the people out there that can help you get better. You know, I started going to therapy three years ago, um and I addressed a lot of my issues, but um I still got a lot more to do, you know what I mean? So it's just like it's just an uh ongoing process. But it's is is I would because when you gave me the um, I'm just gonna jump off it, but back to the the book. When you gave me the book, I was impressed. One. I was shocked too. Because I was like, did you write that book? I told you that. I was like, man, you ain't writing it. Yeah, I wrote it. But I'm like, what gave you the inspiration to want to just step outside the box and paint another picture?

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Because I'm I'm thinking about me when I started. Um I'm trying to reach kids that are 10 or 12 years old that are getting ready to get to that crossroads in life where they're gonna decide who they're gonna hang out with, the choices they're gonna make, even the music they're gonna listen to. I started using a drinking when I was 12 years old. Um and I I've found in recovery, working in it and being in it, that when somebody picks up addiction later in life in their 20s, 30s, or 40s, that's just something they pick up. When you pick it up when you're 12, 13 years old, that's who you are. Because that's when you're being molded, that's when you're developing your personality, that's when you're developing everything about yourself. And it's a lot harder later in life to change who you are than what you do. So that's why I'm trying to reach the kids now, because like I say, with social media and everything going on now, there's a lot more wild stuff going on when we were kids, a lot more dangerous stuff. You know what I'm saying? So that that's what gave me the idea of teaching kids, you know, talking about trauma. You know, I found out that my father was sick and he only had a few years when I was 12, and that's how I dealt with it. You know what I mean? And you know, he passed away when I was 15. Um, and when I told my father goodbye, I was drunk and I was high. And I never dealt with that trauma until I finally got clean. Two years ago, two years ago, actually almost to the day, coming up Father's Day, is the first time I visited his grave in 31, 32 years.

unknown 12:01

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Because I was ashamed. And I didn't realize until I went and finally had that conversation with him how much it really affected me. You know what I'm saying? So if if we can reach kids early now, you know, it's just all the better, man. Just give them them tools now before they go down that road. Because Ronald, especially, is way different than when I was a kid. You know, you had kids getting into fights and doing something. You got kids that are in gangs now that are shooting each other regularly, doing drugs, overdose rate is out of control. I mean, something's just gotta be done. So that's why I was like, you know, I gotta do something. Something that they can relate to, you know what I'm saying, and try and try to understand. And I I feel like if I would have read a book like that when I was at age, maybe I wouldn't have gone as far off the path as I did. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Okay. Um I I'm realizing that like we're more like the different, for real. Because I started using a non-13 with uh weed and alcohol. That went from weed alcohol to cocaine, and it went from weed, alcohol, cocaine, LSD, and it went from weed, cocaine, LSD to heroin, you know, and you're right. Um that does shape you.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Yeah. Yeah, and then later in life, when you when you do get clean, you're like, who the hell am I? Right. I don't even know who I am. You know what I'm saying? And it's hard, it is it's great when you get to that point, you discover who you are, but then it's like, you know, I went through my whole, I went through 32 years of not knowing who I am. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 13:38

And it's like I'm realizing too that I did that stuff for so long that when I got on the journey of getting clean, I had to really learn who I was again or who I was for the first time. You know, uh, I had to refine my identity. Like, who are you, what you stand for, you know, what you gonna be about, because if you do something with 20, 30 years, that's like retiring from a job. You know, it's like that's all I know is that life, that lifestyle, that, you know, I didn't know if I could actually be a productive citizen. You know, I didn't actually think that I could get up and go to work every day and come home or get up and don't go out and party, or you know, because it was like I see kids now like 18, 19, when they're using and they got it, they don't understand that they can't even fathom the idea of never using something again. You know, it's like uh uh uh I can't, I can't, I know, sir. I you know, because I'm not even 21. I want to get a drink, but it's the choice as we make that's gonna dictate where we go. So if they if they feel like that, they're gonna stay stuck until they get ready. But that's for everybody, though. I mean I just I know that it takes people like me, me and you, um, you and I um to uh put in the footwork to have something in place for these kids when it's their time. You know, us staying in position is probably the most important thing we could possibly do. And not only that, but lead by example. You know, because I was telling um a friend uh last week that, you know, when kids see us, it may be the first time they've seen a real man all day. You know, just doing what it's supposed to do. And that and that that that you know, heavy is the head that wears the crown, man. You know, we gotta take it seriously and be willing to put the footwork in to make it better, you know. And and and and it's worth it, you know. I've had so much um I have so much gratitude for this new life, you know, and the people I've met along the way and the things I was able to accomplish in a short period of time because I never thought that I would be sitting here. That's the thing. And I'm back to you say you visit your your your dad's grave. My dad passed away in '88. And I've never been back to his grave because I felt like he abandoned me. And I just realized that when he was telling that because, you know, um I it was a closed casket. I couldn't say goodbye. Um, I had just met him a year before that, you know, for the like the second time my whole life. And then when I'm we building a relationship, he passes away. Yeah. And yeah, and I carried that for a lot of years, man. The anger, the resentment, and everything. And I I believe that played a part in me not having any biological kids, man. Because I didn't want to do that to them what he done to me, because I wasn't really ready to be a father at any period of time from I think I I think I got ready to be a father and uh that I knew that I could do it three years ago.

SPEAKER_03 17:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

Like I knew that I wasn't going getting some, you know, being people live and then get taken away. Or go to the store and be gone for three years. You know what I mean? Because that has happened. Like, I I'll be back and go in the store, get arrested, gonna go home for three years, you know. And I didn't want that to bring that pain to nobody else. So yeah, but that's that's some good insight. But check this out.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Um Brad. Way to see yourself in five years.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Doing the same thing, helping. I don't know how I'm gonna help, but I'm gonna be helping. Um, I feel like that's the reason why I went through 32 years of hell is to try to help other people pull them, pull them out of their own personal hell. Um, I'm I'm trying to take that curse and turn it into a gift because working in re-entry, working in recovery, working with kids, man, the gift that we have is that relation, that connection because we've been there. And everybody don't have that. You know what I mean? It's it's harder. I don't care who you are, you know, talking to a counselor is great. You know, I talked to them at Mount Regis and stuff like that. I talked to them, you know, other places I had a psychiatrist for a while, and they could tell me how to book stuff, but they didn't know what it's like. You don't know what it's like six o'clock in the morning when the sun's coming up, and you're still geeked up in the night before all your money's gone. You feel like, you know what, because everybody else is going to jail, and you just getting ready to try to go to bed. So when you have somebody that's felt that type of depression and that type of disappointment in themselves, it's different. And I think the other gift is when, you know, I talk to people to other, like I have recovery coaches and stuff, um, I'm outregious. Man, I can ask them, I know you've been through this, what did you do and how did that work out for you? You know what I'm saying? And that's the gift of lived experience. Um, and I think that's much more important than than any type of books. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Do you do you think that um the recovery community could be more together?

SPEAKER_00 19:18

I do. Um, but it's just like any other type. Everybody's got different opinions because there's different paths to recovery. Um, I I know people that's just strictly AA, people that's strictly NA. Um, and they got the, you know, and that's how I started out. I did the steps. I'm so glad I did the steps because I got a lot of resentments. I started taking accountability, and for me, taking accountability is freedom because I'm taking back power out of people's hands. It wasn't their fault, I did it, it was my fault. So now I just took my power back. And I'm glad I did those steps. I'm leaning more towards like smart recovery and stuff now as a tool because I like that in smart recovery, you do recover. You're not gonna be an alcoholic for the rest of your life, you're not gonna be a drug addict for the rest of your life. And I know a lot of people, like in AA and NA, stuff like that, that are die hard. I'm like, you know, that's great and it works to a point, but you gotta have, you know, recovery capital. You gotta have different things you can pull off of to be successful in recovery. I know people that say, if I have one drink, I'm gonna go off the rails and my life's gonna be in shambles. I'm gonna lose, well, if that's what you tell yourself all the time, that's exactly what's gonna happen. But if you can retrain your mind to think that if something happens and I slip, I'm gonna get it back together. I'm not going back down that road. You know what I mean? Uh within a day, I'm gonna get my life back together. And that that's why I like the smart recovery. Um, a lot of people, especially in AA, think that if you go to smart recovery, you gotta let go. No, you can do both. You can still have, I still got a higher power. I still believe in God. You know what I mean? But I still use the tools and smart recovery because you know, AA was invented back in the 30s. You mean to tell me Bill Wilson wouldn't have changed something by now? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 21:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

There's a lot of stuff that's changed, and a lot of people stay stuck in that time, and I think that they could, you know, kind of evolve into other. I I think it would be more together. I think if we would get rid of this whole anonymous, you know, and talk about the problems and get rid of that stigma. You know what I mean? Because people are embarrassed, you know, Alcoholics Anonymous, even though they tell you say your name, hi, I'm Brad, I'm alcoholics, it's really not anonymous. But you know, if people talk about it and get rid of that stigma, people are gonna be quicker to go get help. You know what I mean? It's like, you know, there's a document called Anonymous People, they talk about, you know, the AIDS movement back in the 80s and 90s, they were out loud and proud and spoke about it. And look how much, look how far they came. You know, you don't, if you get it, you don't have a couple years. People talked about it, they developed medications for it, but you know, treatments for it, and now you can have that disease and live your whole life with it. And so I I think that we talk more about. And get it more out there and get rid of that stigma. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, man. Right. The embarrassment is if you stay, then you keep that secret. Because you know, just say you're sick as your secrets. So as long as you're too scared to tell people, I'm alcoholic. I'll tell people all day. I used to be an alcoholic, man. I I threw the better part of my life away, but now I'm picking it back up. And I'm proud of that. Two points.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Freedom is it they are in the steps. That's that's the that's what they tell us. And another point about the addict or the uh alcoholic changing over the years. Today's addicts and alcoholics is nothing like those in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Because you have so much stuff to worry about. You know, like when I started using, I didn't I didn't never think about Odin. But now I think about that before I would go use. Like I know it's going down the wrong road because you know it is hard to measure now. Like going to jail, you'll get out. Well, I did, and I know a lot of people probably also. The day you get out, you used. Yeah, you know, because you're still in the madness. Today, if you used to do that, you probably die.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

And a lot of people have been taken away from us this year, last year, just because of that, you know, working in tap and seeing somebody on Friday and then hearing that they passed away on Monday. You know, that happened to us because we were together when it that happened, and we both knew the guy, you know, and it's just it's hard because you want everybody to get it, but the reality is a lot of people can still die because it's just designed that way.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

You know, when people don't realize, and that's one thing I did learn in treatment that even though you stop with your addiction right here, if you pick it up years later, you're not gonna start back when you left off. You're gonna start like you never stopped because your addiction never stops progressing. So if I started back today, I'm gonna start back like I had been progressing all these years. And that's how people end up dying, man.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

Um they used to be saying, like, wounds and treatments, yeah, your addiction in the parking lot doing push-ups right now. Yeah, that's like I never thought about it till later, like, yeah, it is, man, because uh it's always progressive. It's you know, it no matter what. It's like right now, it's still growing, but we have found a way to calm that that beast, you know what I mean? And one bad decision can reopen that Pandora's box, and that's what I'm very mindful of a lot of things that I do because of I know that I don't want to make a mistake that can cost me not just everything, but my life. So I didn't appreciate life, didn't care nothing about it. But as I got older, I have now become really fascinated with living. Yeah, you know, um, and not just living like real living, enjoying life. Enjoying life, man. Like, this is the first time in my adult life, like I can leave the house and I don't have to worry about anything. No cops, no nothing. Like on driving on the road, the cops throw the blue lights. I know it's not for me. Yeah, or if it is for me, I'm good, you know, and that's one great feeling that I don't think you can ever replace is like real freedom, you know. And I don't think a person understands what freedom is like until they have a taste of it, you know. And by me having clean time in the past, I knew that life was better. I just didn't know how good it could be.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

Yeah, you know, and and I think that's a blessing, man. A lot of people don't get that. A lot of people don't have to. Like I tell people all the time, I'm all about mindset and changing your mindset, your perceptions of life. And people don't realize we've never struggled with addiction, how good really life is. And I saw a quote the other night that says um, you're not gonna appreciate water as much living in the ocean as you do living in the desert. You know what I'm saying? So you don't know how to appreciate something until you don't have it. And then when you get it back, you understand. Um, for me, living, and I tell people all the time, I got, you know, I speak at regions all the time. I'm going to the next week. I tell people all the time they stay focused on their recovery, stay focused, stay focused. They're gonna have highs and lows, and like we gotta go forward. But I'm like, don't forget to stop and look around at everything that you have missed and you have now, because not what the hell are you doing it for anyway? You know what I'm saying? So that's that's a big thing to me is I enjoy life. I understand how precious it is. Um, with my kids, uh making more of a connection with them. I just started being a father three years ago myself. I had my kids, but I wasn't a father. You know what I'm saying? I I was there physically, but I wasn't there emotionally, spiritually. You know, I didn't go out and take them places and do stuff. Luckily, you know, my parents, you know, stepped in and did a lot of work for me when it came to that, but you know, I wasn't ready to be a father either until three years ago. Now that I'm clean, I see what a blessing that is. You know what I'm saying? So now that my eyes are finally open, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 27:34

I think I think, man, for a lot of years, man, I was fighting growing up.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

You know, um I just couldn't shake it. You know, I I don't know what made me feel like that I can do what I want for as long as I want, you know. And that goes back to my teenage years of smoking we drinking, listening to heavy metal, riding white, and living free. And I thought that I would be able to do that for the rest of my life. And you know, uh working a job on a roof and during the day part at nighttime, your boss ain't picking you up. He don't care if you got a beer in your hand. That you know, that's just the madness of it. Until I I I seen my sister brush her tail, man. You know, her she going to she a nurse, her and my brother-in-law, my brother-in-law was working at Harry's at the time, you know, like and they just stacked it up, kept going, kept going, kept going, kept going. And you can actually see when people's lives started to change, man, and they don't drink, and they don't smoke, they don't gamble, they don't do the stuff that that I was attracted to, and I see where that life has. You know what I mean? And that's the life I want. And I know like hanging with people like you that knows our our story, yeah, it's still we still can accomplish that because I believe you hold me accountable.

SPEAKER_03 29:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

You know, and the accountability part is that the like the biggest part for me, man. Even though we're not perfect people, and we're gonna make mistakes. It's just in that present time when you make that mistake, even if it hurts, take accountability for it. I mean, no matter what you lose in the end, I think people respect the accountability piece more than anything. Yeah, you know, because I mean I can work with that. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 29:42

That's a big thing. I mean, you know, when I knew that I had to go make amends with people and stuff like that, I didn't think they was ever gonna forgive me. And what surprised me more than anything is they forgave me years ago. I was the only one not forgiving myself. You know what I'm saying? I'm the one that held on to it. They let go a long time ago and they appreciate it, and they still love me, you know what I'm saying? That's you know, you you gotta, that's my three steps of accountability, you know. Own it, fix it, and then F it. And even if you can't fix it, F it anyway, because you can't hold on to it, man. No matter how much you hope, wish, and pray, you can't change the powers. It's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

You don't realize how many people are rooting for you.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

You know what I mean, until you tell them what you've done. Yeah. Or they see what you're doing. And they want to say, congratulations, keep going. We just gotta be open to be able to talk to these people, man. Like, I like social media and I don't like social media. Yeah, you know, it's like a gift and a curse. But some days that when I'm not feeling like myself, when I put some on Facebook and get, you know, people telling me, we're proud of you, you're doing great, keep going. And they call me Kesy because that's my nickname, you know. This from Franklin and my my people from Franklin, man, they they seen me when it all started. Like I was a good kid going bad, you know, and they they hit me up a lot telling me that I'm doing a good job, keep going, proud of you. And my people from Richmond, dude, because they seen it too, you know what I mean? And it's just like you never know who's watching, man. And you never know who needs help. You know, and you know, you don't know who needs help, man, because I mean, let's see, you know, I didn't, I never had Facebook until I got out of treatment.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

I was probably one of the last people on earth to get Facebook. But that's the reason why I put it on there because I wanted to show my recovery. Um, I wanted to let people know that I was doing good that I ain't seen in 20 years, but also the more followers I have, the more people I got to let down. You know what I mean? And I've also got people to reach out on to me on Messenger, you know what I'm saying? Say, hey, I got a friend that needs to get in the treatment. Can you help? I can't, I've I say in the past few years I've probably got at least 10 to 15 people on the treatment that needed it. You know what I'm saying? Um, so people reach out, they see what you're doing, and they're like, how can I do that? I got people reaching out to me, how can I be a PRS and all this stuff. So it can be good. I like what I put on social media and people that I like on social media, but you just gotta get away from all of the rage baiting and all that other shenanigans. You know, that's the thing about social media. Um, if you don't look at it, you're uninformed. If you do look at it, you're misinformed. So you gotta be careful.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

You got you gotta educate yourself before you listen to this next guy. There's this there's no, you know, you gotta know how to educate yourself when it comes to stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Okay, so um you're in the works for writing another children's book?

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Yeah, yeah. The next one is gonna be about um, you know, Lila carries on, she's still the bunny. Um, I did, I've got one of my new characters, her name is Asher. She's gonna be a badger. She's got um autism. And the reason I got this character, I designed her to look just like this little girl. I did a um the hoot and the holler to rise up at the Grand Theater a few weeks ago, and there was a little girl, she was another storyteller, and that was her story. And I got permission from her and her mom. So the next one is gonna be about a hedgehog who's very anxious and depressed, and got all these like social anxieties and stuff going on, and try to help kids how to understand more and how to deal with that, you know, kids with autism, how to, you know, fit in, kids that deal with sensory issues and stuff like that, how to be more sensitive and you know, how to deal with triggers. So that's the next one I'm getting ready to start on after that. So, yeah, I've already got that in the works and got some characters.

SPEAKER_02 33:43

I want to thank you for the inspiration because when you told me about the book and and gave me the book and you know, I read it. Uh I started writing a curriculum for uh rehabs and uh programs uh that I can tell them how can I put it without putting too much information out there. Um explain to them what a what an addict is from the inside out. Yeah. And why we do the things we do, like what blows your mind won't blow his mind because he done sing at all. And it is for the addict and the people who work in the treatment centers that's not addicts, you know. Cause I think that's a disconnect when it comes to treatment when you got a person, like you said, sitting in a position that hasn't that they don't have that live experience. This right here would give them a little insight of prime example. I say that I would never do this, certain thing, whatever it is. But then I do it. I didn't change, my circumstance changed that made me have to do that, you know. And then when you get clean, you don't go back to doing it because it was never you in the first place. But they don't understand like why we would go risk our life for that little bit of thing, you know. Or why we risk our life for five, ten, fifteen dollars. It's not a lot to you, but it's a lot to me when I'm in that situation, you know. So that's my whole breakdown of what I'm trying to get. I got I got a lot of one left to right. I got the design for the cover already. I just gotta get focused, man. You know, working nights has really I sleep all day, you know. Only time I probably can write now is on the weekends, but I be so busy with life, man, you know? But yeah, uh so I like to ask all the guests that be on a podcast, like what would Brad tell the younger Brad to feel your feelings.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Don't try to bury it, don't try to fit in with everybody else just to lose yourself. Because I I did that, you know what I'm saying? I I I didn't know how to deal with my emotions when I was younger, and I was presented with substances, I was presented with girls, and I basically never ever tried to discover who Brad was. I discovered who I thought everybody thought I should be. And I felt like if I got lost in somebody else, I wouldn't have to deal with the real me. You know what I'm saying? So that would be my advice to myself. Don't lose yourself, you know, love yourself and don't give up all those years without knowing yourself. You know what I mean? Because now it's a blessing. You know, I tell people all the time, a lot of people get worried when you go. I went 32 years. You know that you know, he's talking about being a kid, man, and and and never growing up. You know, that's what substances do to you. They stop you from growing when you start doing them. So my uh poem at the random was 12 going on 44. Because that's when I that's when I went to sleep, and that's when I woke back up. So I woke up as 44 years old, a 12-year-old and a 44-year-old body. You know what I mean? And I lost all that time. I didn't grow, I didn't develop, I didn't get to grow spiritually, emotionally, I stopped. And you know, now I'm blessed because I get a new life. And uh a lot of people, you know, I tell that are in recovery, that gets it's kind of intimidating, kind of scary when you think I gotta change everything about myself.

unknown 37:43

Everything.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

But I always tell people you keep in mind you're not changing who you are, you're changing who you're not. You get to keep all the good stuff and get rid of the bad stuff.

SPEAKER_02 37:53

Somebody say, uh, in order to change everything, I had to change one thing. Yeah, everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

And I tell people all the time, too, you know, when I go, you know, because you're talking about that demons out there doing, you know, your addictions doing push-ups in the parking lot, man. And I tell people a big thing, everybody's like, well, what do you have to change? Everything. First thing they say, per two replaces things. That's great. That's a good start. But if you don't change your mindset, you just be getting messed up over there with them instead of over there with them. If you don't change your mindset, nothing changes, nothing changes. And I always refer to that demon that's waiting at that front door that you dropped him off at to get out of there. You know, he is waiting on you. The only way to keep him off your back is to make it to where he don't recognize you anymore. You know what I'm saying? Go places where he can't find you. Walk out of that door and he don't know nothing else about you because you're you're not the same person anymore. So that's what you gotta do. So that's what I would tell myself: be open, don't be judgmental, take accountability, um, and and just be open-minded, man. And don't be scared to be happy. You know what I mean? That'd be my biggest lesson to myself.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

I've never answered that question when I ask somebody, but since we are friends, I think that I would tell myself it's okay to feel the feelings that I'm feeling. Just go through them and learn from them. Because I felt a lot of stuff and I used to beat myself off the feelings instead of trying to figure them out. You know, and I I put on Facebook today, it's a fact we feel, but I feel it's not a fact, you know. And I base my life on feelings I felt thinking was fact. And that kind of put me in a down this barrel, you know.

SPEAKER_00 39:36

Yeah, but that's the thing too. You know, I try to you know, make these new catch and recovery. It's like, you know, the only way to get rid of past feelings is you gotta really feel you gotta sit in it, you gotta feel it with no numbing, no delusions, no substances in your body. You gotta sit in it and feel it for what it is. And sometimes it's gonna be painful, sometimes it's gonna be too painful for the mind to fathom. Then you gotta look past your mind and look into your heart because that's what hope is. And hope will pull you past anything. As long as you keep hope and you keep faith, you'll get through anything, no matter how painful it is. But you gotta feel it for the realness of it, not the deluded. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

Well, I just want to thank you for stopping by, sitting down talking with me, brother. Um, it's truly a blessing, man. Um, because a year ago when we started, I never seemed like I'll be doing this, you know. Uh we have conversations, but I never think I'll be sitting down anything on the friend, you know. And that's uh a testament to itself. So I just want to thank you. Stopping by. Love you, brother.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

Love you, man.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Um, and yeah, thank you. Uh, this is uh another episode of The Blind Truth brought to you by uh Desers uh by Choice Pearson Services. Uh thank you for tuning in. Um when you see my man on Facebook, uh check out his books, help him out, support him because uh we can start supporting them. Um and just thank y'all for tuning in until next time. Y'all have a blessed day.