Chapter Nine

Cass and Billy try to enjoy their travel a little while Lena and the group at the back wagon encounter trouble. 

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Some of this podcast has been recorded on equipment from the Billings Public Library Co+Lab. Thanks to Renee Barratt of The Cover Counts for the cover design. Music by Mikhail Smusev from Pixabay.

Transcript

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Welcome back to the serialized podcast production of The Scarring Underneath, written and performed by T. S. Dickerson. Chapter nine. Lena's hand clamped firmly around the neck of a wine bottle. She lowered it to her side and walked swiftly away from the table heavy laden with others. She'd go to Katie's tent to drink it. The other woman may not approve, but she wouldn't rat Lena out. A few feet ahead, Adam stumbled into her path, chatting with one of the women from the California band. He reached out a clumsy hand and rubbed it down the woman's arm. No, seriously, he said, his voice over loud. I once saw a cat that rode along on the back of the saddle, rode everywhere like that. Lena dodged, the rest of their conversation lost in the noise of the crowd as she picked her way through the people. She came up to the row of tents, glancing over toward where her father was standing watch. There were two figures there in the lamplight. Marie had joined him. Lena's frown was deep across her forehead as she paused to call out to Katie before ducking into the tent. Baby kicking tonight? Lena asked. Katie let out a good natured groan. Yes. It's fine, though, not like I'd get much sleep with all the fun going on out there. I only wish I could have some my Katie caught sight of the wine bottle as she looked up from the strands of horse hair strung across her lap. She raised an eyebrow. Lena averted her eyes for a moment and then straightened her shoulders as she set about opening the bottle. It's not like I'm going to get an MIP, you know, or a DY. Katie pursed her lips and then nodded. She looked back down at her work, her fingers pinching the horse hair as she crossed it over itself in the complicated braid. Just don't drink too much, she said. You'll regret it tomorrow, believe me. I'll take it slow. Lena looked around. Her father had a Swiss army knife with a corkscrew, but she couldn't very well ask for it. Her focus landed on Katie's hands, and she watched for a moment. You didn't have to do a design that complicated, you know. A simple braid would have been fine. Katie smiled. I like doing this. Besides, Cass is a rough and tumble gal. She's probably pretty hard on jewelry. It needs to be strong just like she is. Lena raised an eyebrow, and her desire for a drink increased. I don't suppose you have a corkscrew lying around. When Katie looked up, Lena lifted the wine bottle with the cork now exposed. Katie gave a half smile, her eyes distant. Come trade me, she said. Lena crawled over and took the ends of the horse hair, pulling them taut, but looking down at the jewelry as if it were a snake. Katie picked up the wine bottle and fished a knife from her backpack. She stuck the tip of the knife carefully between the cork and the bottle, and began twisting with the practiced rotation of her wrist. Soon the cork popped free, and she laughed. Not your first time doing that, Lena stated. No, but probably the last, she smiled at the younger woman as they maneuvered around her large belly to trade the wine bottle for the strands of horse hair. Unless there happens to be a vineyard up and running still somewhere. Lena ran her fingers through the loose end of Huckleberry's tail hair and sighed. It'd be the last time she was able to do that. Katie was almost finished. She tipped the bottle up to her lips, took in a swig of the liquid, and made a face. The loss of such a foul tasting beverage was hardly a tragedy. All the same, she raised the bottle to her lips a second time. Derrick watched as Marie straddled Weylon, kissing him and slipping her hands into his shirt. Weylon's knee bumped the wine bottles beside them, and they clanked together, falling to the ground along with the humans. He smiled and started quietly down the row of tents, knowing by the time he passed near the two of them they would be too involved to notice him. To his surprise, Cass had been flushed with drink already when she'd emerged from the wine cellar earlier. Drew and Billy had followed, carrying several bottles of wine in their arms. Derrick's joy had been lost amid the excitement of the group at large, though his was for a very different reason. Discovering the cellar had seemed to overshadow any suspicions Cass may have had at finding him and Adam in the kitchen. He'd barely had time to pocket the note he'd been looking for, a map to a meeting point. The wine had also presented an opportunity. As expected, the ever wary Cass had insisted on setting a watchman, and when Weyland had volunteered she'd been satisfied. So had Derek. He'd seen the middle aged man burdened most nights by chaperoning his teenage daughter's sneaking glances at Marie. It was easy enough to suggest she seek him out for a drink and more. With the watchman occupied and everyone else busy getting drunk, no one paid him any mind. He'd had the foresight to wrap the wine bottles resting in his pack in a couple of t shirts to reduce noise. It was no challenge at all to sneak out of camp and into the woods. When he'd been walking for about half a mile on an overgrown trail he came to a clearing with a gazebo, or what was left of it, in the center. A tree had grown up through the washed out boards, and the weather had all but destroyed the roof. Gathered around the gazebo were four men, two of whom carried lanterns, while the others were armed. He didn't raise his arms or slow his pace despite the guns aimed at him. As he approached the weapons lowered, and the nearest man, John, called out a greeting. Took you long enough? Would you rather I rushed and got caught? Derrick asked, keeping his voice calm. How are they reacting? Does anyone suspect? As Derrick listened, the grey cat he'd met around the same time he'd met John, strolled up and began to rub itself against his leg. One a woman Cass. He looked down at the cat in displeasure. Only her? Yes, but she's the second of the Montana Band, and smart. I've seen her, said another man, one of Stronghold's recruiters, with the prisoner. When Stronghold recruiters traveled to find new members, they went in groups of three. Unfortunately, two of the men they'd sent west were secretly loyal to a rebel cause. They had, of course, eliminated the third man. They had also had a secret travel companion, a leader of the rebel cause, John. John had stayed behind the scenes, not visiting the bands of survivors, but waiting to reveal himself to the right partner for their plan. A partner they had found in Derrick. Yes, Derrick said, nodding. They seem close. How'd you let that happen? John asked. Derrick kicked the cat away from his legs, and it let out a yowl of complaint. He stepped forward. It's actually helping. It discredits her. Even in her brother's eyes, Derrick said, willing down the surge of anger he felt at being doubted. They'd have nothing if it weren't for him, after all. He imagined his fists pounding into the man, slamming his head against the broken boards of the gazebo. He pushed the image away. Well, if you want to keep them around, I suggest you get them out of the back of your caravan tomorrow. Derek stiffened. Why? John paused and strode a few steps closer before answering. A bead of sweat lined the man's forehead. He wasn't as cool as he seemed. Still, his voice came out firm. Do you have any attachment to anyone in the back wagon? You're dead weight? Derrick set his jaw. No. We need to speed you up. It's your fault we're behind schedule in the first place, Derrick said, his voice more a growl than he'd hoped. He cursed himself before moving on. You're the reason we were delayed, and the reason we're short horses. And we'll be the reason you pick up speed, John said. You have to slow down and stop too often for that wagon. An image of Katie, her swollen belly jutting out beneath her shirt, flashed into his mind. He saw her laughing in the wagon with the elderly couple. For a moment her face was replaced by Abby's, but it was for Abby, for her memory, that he needed this alliance, so he could prevent it from happening again. He could protect these people now, or protect many more later. You've seen their guards, Derrick asked. One man and the red headed girl, if you manage to get the prisoner and this cass away. I'll manage, Derrick said, adrenaline charging through him now that he'd decided how to proceed. His head was starting to ache in time with his heartbeat as if he'd had too much wine, though he'd had none. So long as this doesn't change our arrangement. Why would it? You agreed to give me leadership of New Danville if I brought you women, supplies, horses, and loyal fle he cleared his throat. Fighters. And if I kept your secret. Now you've taken horses and supplies, and you're about to take people. Not to mention I was forced to eliminate Marshall. The more you take, the less appealing my offer looks when we get there. Don't worry, Derrick, John said, reaching out a hand. Derrick shook it hard enough the lantern in John's other hand swung, setting shadows spinning across the grass. The man smiled from beneath his dark beard. I won't forget a thing. In that case, Derrick said, removing the pack from his shoulders. He slipped out four bottles of wine and passed them to John and another man who stepped forward. Nice, John said. We'll enjoy that. Derrick nodded and waved them off. The men passed into the woods on the opposite side of the gazebo, their lantern lights disappearing like fireflies switching off behind the trees. He waited for his eyes to adjust to the pale moonlight again and picked his way back to camp. He paused a minute to peek into the tall grass where Marie was fast asleep on Weyland's chest, her head tucked up tightly beneath his chin. Weylon was snoring. The noise of continued revelry further into camp rose up with the smoke from the dying fire. No one saw him pass along the row, but two lights illuminated two tents set up close together. They glowed like strange lampshades in the dark. Each bore the silhouette of a single human figure, the two leaning close together to whisper through the thin material. He stilled his breathing and recognized the voices. Trusts you, Cass said. It's not my secret to tell, came Billy's reply. He knew he should linger and listen, but his head was pounding now. He wished they'd just climb into the same tent for once and get it over with. What might have been a pinch of jealousy hit him, but it faded quickly. The more they isolated themselves the better. He just might need to use them still. Lena almost kept riding on when the wagon stopped beside her. It was her horse's hesitation that finally pulled her out of her own mind and caused her to stop. She blinked a few times and looked around. Darcy was helping Katie down out of the wagon. The pregnant woman must need to pee again. Sorry, Katie said, mostly addressing Cass and Billy, who followed along on foot. I suppose I ought to have Drew just cut a hole in the wagon I could pee into, often as I have to stop. Cass offered a forced smile. She seemed distracted today. Had she gotten as drunk as everyone else? Maybe Cass, like Lena's father, had gotten laid last night. Lena felt a scowl pinch her brow. And I'm the child. I'm the reckless and irresponsible one. That wouldn't be so pleasant for the two of them walking behind, David joked. His hand rested on Rain's shoulder as she napped with her head in his lap. Sounds like a plan to me, Lena said. She knew she'd killed the humor, but she didn't care. Her scowl bored into Cass, waiting for a reaction. No worse than what the horses leave behind, Conrad said. Cass eagerly turned her gaze away to look at him. Lena followed suit. Conrad looked terrible. He'd had a lot to drink the night before, and his face was pallid. Occasionally he frowned and clutched at his gut, slumping in the saddle. Lena hoped her father felt even worse. She remembered how she'd found them early this morning, her father flat on his back, snoring, the blanket mercifully pulled halfway up his naked belly. Curled under his arm, drooling on his chest hair, was Marie. California whore. There was no generosity in Lena today. She was aware of it and didn't care. Billy leaned in and whispered something in Cass's ear. Cass looked surprised for a moment. After a glance back at Katie, who was just rising out of the tall grass in the ditch, she followed him. She stayed a few strides behind as he climbed the nearby rise, but her steps didn't hesitate. She'd better be screwing him. I mean if she's gonna sell me out and practically ignore me through this whole trip, she'd better at least be getting sex out of it. Lena, hello? Lena snapped out of her thoughts again. It was Darcy, her feet scuffling over a crack in the road as she approached Cowboy's neck. Did you hear me? I dunno. Did you actually say something worthwhile for a change? If you did, I probably didn't realize it was you. Lena felt a twinge of guilt as Darcy looked away, a flush creeping up her pale neck. She should be wearing a hat, Lena thought. Then she dismissed it. Why am I always looking out for people who won't look out for themselves? Darcy's voice was low when she spoke again, her words meant for only Lena. Look, if this is about Cass and Billy again, get over it. You've always liked Cass. Why don't you want her to be happy? Lena glanced up to see first Billy, then Cass crest the rise and disappear. I want her to be happy, just not stupid, Lena said. Finding love isn't stupid, Lena. Lena hesitated for a second, wondering if that's what was really happening. She swallowed. Is that what Dad was finding with Marie last night? Darcy's eyes widened and she scanned Lena's face for an explanation. Then her expression settled back to resigned calm. Comfort, she said. I'm sure that Dad was finding comfort last night. Darcy cleared her throat and started to walk away, but paused. Not everyone is like you, Lena. Some people need things that you don't seem to need. Lena felt a burn of tears behind her eyes. She needed things. She glanced at Katie. Conrad had dismounted and was helping her back into the wagon. He always looked at Katie in the same way, like she was home for his eyes. Lena loved it. Her father had once looked at her mother like that. Conrad jogged off into the bushes by the roadside to relieve himself, and Lena settled down further into the saddle. Her leg muscles twitched with her desire to push her horse forward and get moving again. Unable to help herself, she glanced back up the hill where Billy and Cass had disappeared. A little rush of air puffed out of her, bearing guilt and realization. Billy was starting to look at Cass that way, like she was where his gaze belonged. They stood side by side at the edge of the hill. The tension rippled between them, a transparent but nearly tangible wave of discomfort and desire. Cass imagined reaching out and touching Billy, clearing away the awkwardness with the brush of her fingertips on his arm. Below them, the main group was already turning onto a ninety degree switchback along the old highway that was bringing them out of the mountainous area toward the flatter plain. It had been weeks since Cass had looked over the maps, but she knew they wouldn't hit mountains again. In a day or two, they'd be in Nebraska, and it would be flat land the rest of the way. The last of the visible caravan veered around a dusty, abandoned car on the left side of the road and disappeared, snake like beyond the curve. She knew they should head back down to the wagon. But she wanted to know why he'd brought her away from the others. She wanted to know what was behind the tantalizing come with me, spoken in her ear. She didn't know how to start the conversation, because she wasn't sure which conversation they were having. They'd been up late last night, talking through their tents. She'd felt drunker on sharing and discussion than on wine. Yet they'd avoided the obvious topic, the kiss. It had been impulsive and shocking. Billy had only just recently realized he could touch her arm, much less press his lips to hers, especially with the power that kiss had held. She felt overly conscious of every inch of herself as she stood there, and she was becoming equally aware of him. Had he been so close a minute ago? He'd stood for so long in silence she almost jumped when he finally spoke. So any idea when we might get another chance to train? Cass raised her eyebrows and rotated to face him. She pretended to think for a moment, not willing to reveal her eagerness. He didn't need to know she'd already planned out the next opportunity for them to be alone. Well, we'll be taking a turn on horseback tomorrow and the next day, so we may have a chance then. Even if we don't, Katie is already past due, according to Doc. When she gives birth, we'll have to stop for two or three days at least. That should give us plenty of time. Billy moved closer as she spoke, his arms still crossed over his chest, providing a barrier despite his proximity. His eyes flicked back and forth across her face, to her lips and the scar there, then down to arms that fell to her sides under his gaze. When the heat of his expression increased until Cass couldn't handle it any longer, she let out a false laugh. Are you so eager to get your butt kicked? she asked. Billy just smiled and dropped his arms, taking another step closer. Cass could swear she felt heat coursing from him even against the summer warmth. She tore her gaze away from his body and met his eyes. Really, though, she said. It'll be more physical this time. She heard a huskiness in her voice she hadn't meant to come through. More eager all the time, Billy said, his voice also deeper than usual. Cass swallowed. We should talk about last night. Billy finished when she couldn't. The wine cellar. Trotting hoofbeats broke into Cass's awareness. The surging of her blood in her ears faded. She looked to the hill behind them in time to see a dark horse crest the rise they'd walked up. Derrick trotted toward them, and she and Billy sprung back from one another. She heard a frustrated sigh pass between Billy's lips just as Derrick spoke. You two need to catch up. Derrick's voice was commanding, and Cass's jaw protested as she gritted her teeth. She forced her hands not to clench into fists. Your brother needs to talk to you, Cass. He nodded down the hill in front of them. The road cut back and through a wooded area, and she could just see her brother and a few others passing out of the trees. If you cut diagonal there you can catch up easy enough. Without waiting for an answer, Derek directed his horse between Cass and Billy, tromping over the very spot where they'd just stood together. She moved back to allow the horse space, and saw as the black rump passed down the hill that Billy had stumbled back as well. They shared a look of mutual fury. We should hurry, she said. It could be important. She glanced back to see where the wagon, Lena, and Conrad were. She couldn't see them. They must have rounded the sharp corner, maybe already caught up to the group. Cass had lost track of time. She gestured to Billy and headed down the hill at a jog. Billy caught up, wearing a fresh, wild expression. He was grinning and staring at the expanse of open land ahead of them, dotted here and there with a bush or a tree. He turned to her, his look filled with a joy that almost stopped Cass in her tracks. Let's run, he said. Then he shook his head. Let's race. Cass's brow furrowed even as his smile infected her. What? Please let's race, he said. He started to jog and turned to face her, running backward. I'll bet I'm faster than you. Cass felt her head shaking even as she adjusted the straps of her pack on her shoulders. She walked quicker. The distance between them was increasing, and she didn't want that. I guess you're not hungover. Cass felt her feet picking up speed. She was jogging now, her hands moving to pump at her sides. Oh, I am, he said, raising his voice and starting to turn. I'm suffering the effects of being cooped up for three years, and here's a cure. He took off, his legs powering him forward and away from Cass much quicker than she'd expected. Cass let out a little scoff of surprise and ran after him. She tore along behind him, her headache protesting the quickened heart rate. Her legs already felt sluggish, and she was jealous of Billy's long stride. She caught him with effort, but as soon as he saw her in his peripheral, he smiled and pulled ahead again. Cass felt a surge of competition now and fought off her sluggishness. Soon they were neck and neck as they rapidly approached the head of the caravan. Heads were turning to watch them. Billy pulled ahead again, and Cass saw her hand reach out for him. Am I really trying to pull him back? The next thing she knew, he reached back and gripped her wrist, pulling her forward. Arm in arm, they approached a wooden fence, the top board. Of which was down. Cass realized Billy meant to jump it, and she panicked, not sure she could clear it with her pack on. Just then she stepped on something, and her foot rolled sideways. She saw the fence's missing board buried in the grass just as her arm pulled out of Billy's grasp and she fell. She tucked and rolled, managing to slow herself just as her shoulder hit the fence post. She laughed as she came to a stop and heard laughing close beside her. Billy slid to a stop and sat, one leg jutting underneath the fence. Are you okay? Cass was still laughing. Her ankle hurt a little, she had twisted it on the board. I miss writing, she said. She hadn't been this out of breath for the sake of fun since before. Her laughter faded as she watched thin white clouds passing quickly behind Billy's head. His eyes were the same striking blue as the sky today. Cassidy? It was Cam. Her brother had stopped in the ditch on the other side of the fence. He wore such a peculiar look that she laughed again. What are you doing? he asked. In answer, Cass laughed even harder. What were they doing? She laughed until her gut hurt, and finally Billy took hold of her shaking arms and pulled her to her feet. The caravan was passing on the road, and she distantly noted the strange look she was getting. Some people shot stares of disapproval. Some people shot stares of disapproval, probably thinking they'd been in the wine again this morning. Others were laughing. She heard Billy snickering behind her as she took down her messy hair and told her brother that Derek had summoned them. Oh, Cam said. Well it could have waited. Let's get back on the road and we'll talk. When Madison turned and surged up out of the ditch, Cass and Billy followed, stepping over the fence rail and sneaking joyful glances at one another like scolded children. I was kidding about the hole in the wagon, Katie said. Now it seems like a smart idea. Hearing the undercurrent of distress in the usually light hearted tone of the woman, Lena turned to her. Katie was stroking her belly and holding the back of the wagon's seat to balance herself. Conrad was looking at Katie with such an openly terrified expression that Lena wanted to chastise him. No need to worry, everyone. A huge fallen tree blocked the road ahead. It had grown at an angle from a steep rise, the roots now stuck in midair on that side. On the other, the ditch was too steep for the wagon to navigate. Lena, how'd the other wagons get around? Darcy asked. Lena knew her sister's voice well, and it was too tight now. Even Ditsy Darcy knew something wasn't right. She could sense it in the air. Lena only shook her head and looked to Conrad. Conrad had ridden over to the base of the tree where the roots still dropped damp earth onto the ground below. He was shaking his head, his frown a much deeper ridge than the normal one he wore. This couldn't have been down when they passed, said David, rubbing a hand across Rain's back. Rain's eyes, usually twinkling with mischief, were now wide with worry. Lena caught herself glancing behind the wagon, wishing Cass was still there. She even wanted Billy to be there. Her anger had turned into a sharp fear in her chest, and she couldn't seem to settle it. Conrad, she said, keeping her voice as steady as possible, one of us needs to catch the others. We can't move this on our own. Her gaze skimmed over the people in the wagon, Katie's big belly, Rain and David, both fragile and arthritic, his back hunched with age. Darcy still clutched the reins as she shifted in her seat, turning from Conrad to Lena and back. Conrad looked at Katie. A silent communication passed between them, ending as Katie nodded toward Conrad's buckskin mount. Buck is young and fast, he said. I'll go. Hurry, Lena said, as she pulled her pistol from her holster and rested it across her lap. Conrad nodded and fixed Katie with such a longing look that Lena had to turn away and scan the road behind them and the woods to one side. As Conrad directed his horse down into the ditch and galloped away, she turned to examine the downed tree again. It was alive, healthy, even. This wasn't right. Cold panic threatened in her gut and she forced it away. Cass, she thought, we need you. Hello listeners. Thank you so much for tuning in to chapter nine of the Scarring Underneath. Come back each week for a new chapter, or if you can't wait, the book is available at the major online retailers and at this House of Books in Billings, Montana. You can also request it at your local library. If you'd like to know more about me and my work, you can visit my website, tsdickerson.com, or check out my socials. Links are in the podcast description.