40ish & Figuring It Out

From Layoff To Laptop: A Nomad’s Midlife Reinvention

• Katie Koelliker • Season 1 • Episode 5

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What if your forties were the start of your bravest chapter? We sit with marketer-turned-digital-nomad Lindsey Tague, who turned a layoff into a passport-powered reboot. She walks us through the messy middle—burnout, letting go of the “perfect job,” and the scary freedom of showing up online to land her first clients. Then she opens the curtain on real nomad life: Wi‑Fi checks, power outages, discipline amid beach days, and the mindset it takes to face constant newness without freezing.

The heart of her story is community. Mexico became home base, and Latin dance—salsa and bachata—became her entry point to belonging across cities in Mexico, Colombia, and Peru. We explore how hobbies create quick roots, why temporary connections still matter, and the rituals that keep creativity alive on the move. We also go deep on dating at 42: navigating apps abroad, cultural differences, language barriers, and the shift toward seeking a steady, values-aligned partner. Lindsay shares why she’s experimenting with U.S. cities, how she screens for emotional stability, and what a modern version of “settling down” might look like when travel is part of your DNA.

On the business front, Lindsay is pivoting again—this time to build Life by Design, a growing Substack and community for people crafting unconventional paths. Expect honest talk about imposter syndrome, energy management, and designing work that fits the life you want, not the other way around. If you’ve ever felt “behind,” this conversation will hand you a new map and permission to start where you are.

Enjoy the episode, then subscribe, share with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave us a review so more people can find the show. Your support helps us keep these real, midlife reinvention stories coming.

Want to connect with Lindsey? Here is her SUBSTACK A Life By Design or follow her on Instagram

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Katie:

Hey friends, welcome back to 40-ish and figuring it out, where we celebrate the beautiful, chaotic, unpredictable ride that is life in your 40s. Today's episode is a good one. I'm talking with Lindsey Tague, who's rewriting what life at 40 looks like. She's 42, single, no kids, and she's living a full-on digital nomad life after being laid off and launching her own marketing consulting business. Basically, she's proof that there's no right way to do your 40s. So grab your coffee or your passport and let's get into it. So Lindsey, um, why don't we just start from the beginning and tell me what your life looks like before your adventure and how the turning point of, you know, or like the getting laid off was kind of a pivot um restructuring of your life. I know you've told me a little bit about um your story, so why don't you tell the listeners about you?

Lindsey:

Yeah, for sure. Thanks for having me on. I'm excited to be here. I um yeah, I would say I made two two major leaps in the last seven years. So I, or maybe you could say three. I I'm originally from New York, uh, born and raised in New Yorker. I I left uh New York when I was about 26, so maybe that would be the first leap I would say, is I moved from New York to Florida. And I lived there for 10 years. And my time there, um, I want to say about halfway into my time living there, I yeah, I was kind of just going through the throes of trying to find the perfect job or the perfect career, um, like many of us do, you know, climbing the corporate ladder and all of that. And I was spinning my wheels for many years, just feeling um burnt out, not just from the stress of these jobs that I was holding, but you know, just trying to find what my purpose is and find, like I said, that elusive perfect job. And um, it was 2018 when I was about a year into working with this company. Uh, I thought this one was gonna be the one, this one was gonna be different. Uh, however, they were like a ground floor startup, and you know, it was kind of all hands on deck. I was brought in as a manager, and I again thought, like, oh, this is a fancy title, like I'm kind of moving up the ranks um in my career, but I I went through severe stress burnout with that job. They, you know, they really ran me into the ground, and then towards almost towards the end of that year, uh, I got the news that I was being let go. They were downsizing the company and laying people off, and I was one of them. And I just kind of found myself in that same puddle of, you know, what am I doing with my life and what's next? And I will say though, that year, despite, you know, having you know working my butt off for this company for my employer, I was already starting to be exposed to entrepreneurship. Um, friends of mine were going freelance, and I had some friends that were building out marketing agencies, and so there were a lot of there was a lot of crossover because with this job that I had, it was more on like the sales side, but I did have marketing experience, and I started to get gravitate towards learning about this and learning about um you know people who are free will freelance because everyone kind of knows now what that is, and like after the pandemic, it kind of exploded a lot of people wanting to, you know, build their own business and go freelance. But back in 2018, it was still a little, you know, hidden, like not a lot of people knew what that was, or it wasn't as common. Um, but I decided that this was my chance to kind of make that that next leap. And I knew that you know, just looking for jobs and trying to be employed again, it just didn't feel right. It didn't feel good for me anymore. And I slowly started to just show up online, even. You know, I was using my Instagram, I started to convert my Instagram into more of like a business account where I was sharing my story, I was sharing my knowledge, my marketing knowledge, I was consuming a lot of content as well from other entrepreneurs and just putting myself, exposing myself to other people doing what I thought that I had wanted to do. And within a few months, I got my first client. I I decided I was going the route of social media marketing. Um, I I I wanted to play off my skills, which I kind of felt I knew. Like I I liked to tell stories, I liked to creatively, you know, um talk about what I do. So like I was doing it for myself at first, and then I was able to kind of transition to okay, I'm gonna now do this for companies' Instagram accounts. So that's kind of how I got started. Yeah, I was doing social media marketing for like hotels and restaurants, and you know, I'm now seven years later now, I'm working with much bigger companies, like B2B tech companies and things. Um, so I don't know if you want me to keep going or if there's like another question we can kind of pivot into.

Katie:

So with the decision of like after you were let go and you had I I read in one of your articles on your Substack, you know, uh an interview that you did that, you know, you had like some severance, so maybe a little bit of time to try and figure out what your next steps were. Um, so going from that traditional, I guess you could say, like a nine to five, like you have the job, your employee, W-2, whatever, deciding what was the decision, what was your factors in deciding to go out on your own and create your own brand, I guess you could say, or going out on your own and and deciding to do this. Um, what what were the the fears, or was you know, there just kind of the freedom, or was there both mixed emotions? So, like, how was the transition of going from kind of having like a set schedule because you have this job, you're at an employer where you're expected to be there from this time to this time, you have these specific deadlines because you're answering to somebody, and then kind of rolling on your own, and what kind of emotions were you feeling with that transition and deciding to do it?

Lindsey:

Yeah, definitely. I mean, the the the the emotional roller coaster was pretty heavy the first one to two years. Um a lot of it is I was feeling definitely nervous, definitely like you like definitely for the first two years, and even as you move along and you're even when you're pivoting and you're like wanting to launch new things and different things, like you kind of go through it again, but you kind of can recognize those feelings of like imposter syndrome and what the heck am I doing? And are people gonna find find out that I don't really know what I'm doing at first? And you can kind of just get swallowed up. I I did get swallowed up in those feelings uh through different seasons and parts of this journey in the beginning. Yeah, you kind of just you have to come back to your why, why you're doing it. And it's you know, for me, the why is twofold. It's the why in terms of who I want to help, who I want to impact, and and what I'm actually here to do. And then my own personal why of like, no, I want this for myself. I want to, you know, be able to build in that freedom lifestyle, that flexibility, that you know, being able to leap into becoming a digital nomad two years later after I launched my business. Um, all of those things are like, I really have to dig into those, those, those things, those principles, those, you know, values and things to be able to squash those fears and those feelings of, like I said before, imposter syndrome and and like just the fear of being found out that maybe you're you don't know what you're doing.

Katie:

Pivoting from my former, well, I guess my other podcast, I don't want to say former because I still have a lot of content that I need to get out for my other podcast, but deciding to do this because I was feeling a little bit burnt out on that other one because it's a youth soccer podcast. Um, my husband and I both coach youth soccer and deciding to transition into this podcast has been exciting, but also like like you said, like you said, kind of feel imposter syndrome because I'm like I'm barely gonna be 40. I don't know anything, but that's kind of why I want to do it, is because I really don't know much of anything, and I can't be the only one that doesn't know anything, and so I want to get the information out there to be able to help other people, and so that's that's kind of the the refreshing part of it is that like I can't be the only one with these questions, and getting the information out there for other people is great, whereas you with your business, it's kind of you want to connect with your clients on more of a personal level versus just going in there and cracking out, you know, whatever um marketing or sales thing that you were doing before, um, but maybe really connecting with people versus just checking it off of a list, and this is what I've been assigned to do, and maybe taking a little bit more time with your clients and kind of making it a little more boutique, I guess. So that way you can feel that connection with people because it's a it's a good time to be connecting with people, and then you know, as far as like when you were launching and then the pandemic happened. When you when the pandemic hit, um, I had read that you decided that you were gonna pack up and you took a w one-way ticket to Mexico and you decided to go there. So, how was that deciding? Like, have you always wanted to travel? Was it just uh hey, this is a perfect time for me to take a vacation, extended vacation, and then did it spiral into living this nomad life, or is that something you'd always wanted to do? Tell us more about that aspect of where you're where you're at, and tell us where physically you are at currently.

Lindsey:

Yeah, so currently I'm in Mexico City, um, Mexico. I've been here like a month or two, and Mexico has been the country that I they started in, as you said, and I'll get into that in a second, but it's also kind of been the country that I've come back to. Like I I've built communities and friends uh in different cities in this country, and Mexico City being their capital, it was just easy for me to fly into because I I came back from traveling other parts of Central and South America earlier this year. I was in Colombia and Peru. Um, so that's why I'm here now, and I am actually getting ready to go back to the States to see family here in a couple days. But yeah, to answer your question, this was uh this was kind of a dream of mine that was brewing for a number of years, and it was always like, I want to travel more, I want to travel more, but with the job that I had, and then I also had a dog um who I got when he was already a few years old. And unfortunately he did pass away in in early 2020, and I I had a trip planned. Um he ended up passing two weeks before that trip, and the trip was right before the pandemic, so no one knew that was coming down the pipeline. Um, but I was going on a retreat in Costa Rica, so he passed away, and uh you know, I went through my grief period, and it was really good to get out of the country. Like I hadn't been out of the country in many, many years. Having my dog, he was a little high maintenance, and I would just do a lot of road trips um instead. So I was eager to get out of the country, and when I did, and then when I came back, and you know, the pandemic was starting and everything, but despite all of that, I it reignited that kind of fire in me of like, I want like I want to do this. Like, I kind of felt, you know, I felt more free. I mean I felt more free, like free, free of the responsibility of, like I said, my my dog that passed away. And then I was like, okay, well, now I'm in here in my apartment all alone. Um I loved my apartment and I loved kind of my little town that I was living in in Florida, but it it was just too comfortable for me. It was it became such a comfort zone. And then going through, you know, six to nine months of the pandemic, every day felt like Groundhog Day. It was like, ugh, like, you know, I it kind of hit me, you know, I want to say a few months in where I was still like very focused on my business, building my business during during that time and just keeping myself healthy and as healthy as I could. But I was like, okay, I know that this is we're not gonna be in this pandemic forever. Like things are gonna shift at some point. And when that happens, like I really feel like it's now or never, like, for me to pursue, you know, I had no idea what it was gonna look like, or that was always that's what I was telling all my friends. Like, I kind of was like, I made this announcement. I'm like, I don't know what this is gonna look like, but I just know that I have to do it and I want to do it in terms of like moving out of my physical house, getting rid of all this crap that I have that I don't even value anymore. Um, things you know that just accumulate over the years, and I'm like, I just I felt like I was in this like just dead space that I just needed like a huge change, which would be to like let all of that go, travel for a while, and and just figure it out from there. I was like, I don't have like a one-year plan, a five-year plan with this. We'll just see what happens. So yeah, so I uh my birthday was is in September, and that's when I was like, okay, it's my birthday, I'm turning another year older. At the time I was 36 and or turning 36, and I was like, okay, like I I know in the future I want to settle down and like you know, have find my future partner and like build a family and all of that, but I also want to do this, and because I don't didn't have a partner at the time, I was like, it like I just felt so compelled to to do this, to make this leap. So I started selling things one by one. It you know, all the pieces when like you start to get overwhelmed thinking about that. Like, how am I gonna go from this apartment full of stuff to downsizing, moving out, and eventually getting rid of my car? I thought like it was gonna be this huge process and really like daunting, but it actually wasn't. I had a slew of friends come over to help me move all my stuff out. I did put some things in storage thinking that I would come back to it, which I didn't. I ended up having someone empty that out like a year later. But um, yeah, I was able to sell my car easily, I was able to get rid of all my things on marketplace. So many people wanted my stuff, and I was like, okay, this is perfect. Like now I have money from that, money from my security deposit, and now I'm I can buy my one-way ticket and just go. And everything kind of just fell into place very easily. And um yeah, so by November of 2020, I was on a plane with just my suitcase heading to Mexico for my the first experience of this adventure.

Katie:

For a lot of people out there who kind of romanticize about the traveling abroad and living abroad, what would you say is the hardest thing about doing what you're doing, the way that you're living, kind of this nomad lifestyle? What is what has been the hardest thing that you've had to deal with?

Lindsey:

Yeah, I think about this a lot, or I have been recently. I would say you have to be okay with uncertainty, obviously, but like constantly, you know, like when you're landing in a new place, like even now, because I've been doing this for five years, you know, when I am considering a new country, I'm like, okay, this is like I'm starting just like that first trip that I took to Toulon, Mexico, because I had never been there before. It was like, you know, there's a reason that I've stayed mostly in Latin America. Like I haven't ventured, you know, I did take one Euro trip and I went to um Spain, France, and Italy. But like that, as fun as that trip was, it was also quite daunting because it's like, okay, I'm landing in a country with a new language, a new culture, you know, so many things are gonna be different here than what I'm used to, like let's say in Mexico or one of these other Latin countries that I've been to. For me, it's like I love the newness and I love being exposed to wildly different experiences, but it can also get exhausting. So yeah, just like mentally preparing yourself for that, you know, you have to kind of you have to be an optimist in some ways because if you allow the uncertainty to stoke fear within you, like, oh, what if I get there and this happens or that happens? And I've gone through those mental loops before. Um, but then I arrive and I'm like, I was worried for nothing, nothing happened, nothing bad happened, it was just fine. Um, so so yeah, you have to kind of balance a lot of these internal states and feelings that might come up, and also check in with yourself. You know, if I know that like I'm I'm feeling quite tired or I just want to ground in one particular place, like I'll be able to kind of think about that in my planning and say, like, okay, I just want to go relax by a beach for a month and like plan that into my schedule, um, so to speak. Something else I wanted to share, I'm trying to remember, but yeah, the uncertainty and yeah, I mean, I'm sorry, what was the question again?

Katie:

Just like you know, what's been the hard what what are hard things that people wouldn't really think about um while they're living abroad?

Lindsey:

So the uncertainty, and then also like the the the temporary nature of all of this, you know, like I consider myself to be like a a deep person who likes to connect with people, and not just people, but like the land, the culture. Like there's just something so warm about you know learning a new culture and like feeling connected to it, and then even the communities that I tap into. Like, I actually discovered a huge passion for Latin dance three years ago on my travels that I've consistently like been dedicating my time and energy to. So I tap into there's huge communities of dancers in a lot of these cities, and it's like you know, some of these cities, even like Mexico City, I've been here probably four times now, and so I have like you know, my friends within these communities, and it's like this is all temporary, like unless I move here and live here, which I don't know that I will, these friendships and you know, these connections are temporary, and it could be as temporary as you meet someone on a tour or at a coffee shop and you have an amazing conversation, and then you never you'll never see them again, you know. But on the flip side, like I've maintained connections with people that I've met on my travels, even if we don't like see each other in person, or we may never again like we stay connected on social media, we support each other, we check in with each other. But it's hard because you know, like now I have connections and friendships globally. And whereas when you're in a local place your whole life, you stay in one place, or you know, you build your roots in one place, you can maintain those friendships more in person, and it's easier, and that's more the traditional way. But like I wouldn't I wouldn't change it for the world, you know. Like had I had I not traveled and embarked on this journey, I wouldn't have met such amazing people all over, even if I may not see them again.

Katie:

Yeah. Do you feel um that certain personalities probably can't do what you do? Because like I know people who need to have everything planned out so far in advance, and like you said, there's just so much uncertainty and unknown. Um, do you feel like that would be extremely difficult for somebody to live that kind of lifestyle? Like, I I know people that are planning, you know, family vacations a year, two, three years in advance, and I'm like, I don't even know what I'm doing next week. Like, you know, so I I feel like I I would be able to do that type of a thing where I, you know, we're just kind of go with the flow. Our family's always been very go with the flow. We don't know what's gonna happen from week to week as far as what our schedules will look like, and just because of the nature of some of the jobs that that we have, like as far as coaching and stuff. Um, and so it it varies from week to week. So we're used to that uncertainty, but there's other people who you know need that structure, and um, do you feel that you can find a balance of that living living on kind of on your own and working for yourself and being able to still stay structured but still live kind of freely as you will? Um, because I know that you said you know, you kind of put that into your schedule if you want to go sit on the beach. And so um it do you find a good balance of doing both of those things?

Lindsey:

Yeah, but it it also depends on the location, you know, it's it can be wildly different. Um, I do feel that people that need that that structure probably are going to fare better in like a big city like where I am right now because the the the you know the internet is more stable and you can find more co-working spaces, or you know, if you want to work from your Airbnb, like you just need to make sure that you're staying in a place that's that's set up in the way that you want it to be set up with like a desk and high-speed internet and all of that. You know, there's a lot of people that I you know, I most of the freelance people or entrepreneurial people that I meet are similar to me, but I have met people that are like I work remotely for a company and they're okay with me living abroad. And so you have to build in that level of structure that you know you need for your daily working life, etc. For me, I as a as an entrepreneur and a freelancer, I build my own schedule. I you know, everything is up to me, um, which can be good and bad, you know, if you're not.

Katie:

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Lindsey:

But like now that I'm seven years in, like, I definitely feel that I've I've worked it, I've been able to design my business and how I work and when I work based off of multiple factors. You know, it's not just what my clients want and need, but it's what works best for me. You know, like I'm I've never been a super early morning person, I don't get up and work right away. Like I start my day and I fill my own cup first, and then I will sit down to work. So for me, it's like blocking off, you know, a certain number of hours per day, usually in the afternoon, to get like my creative work done, my client work done. And um, I personally, some people are like, no, I need quiet. I need to be in my room in my Airbnb, like with my noise canceling headphones on to do my work. I'm the opposite, actually. I like to go to coffee shops, I don't mind if there's you know stuff going on around me, conversations and things. I I because my the nature of my work is somewhat creative, even like when I'm sitting down to like write my Substack letters and stuff, if I'm just in like a quiet room with nothing, you know, stimulating around me, I I probably won't feel creatively inspired. I like to go sit in a cafe, maybe like in the backyard with tons of plants around me or something. Or, you know, I've worked from many locations. Like last summer I was in Guatemala staying on a lake, Lago Atilan, it's called, and there's like the backdrop of a volcanoes, and I'm sitting there doing my work from this little cafe that has, you know, a patio or whatever. And yeah, that's that's what works for me.

Katie:

Nice. And it and it's nice that you're able to recognize that and feel kind of what you need to have in those different times, and and you've been able to figure that out. Um, so one of the things that you also touched on was kind of even though you've been living in these different places, you've been able to connect with people through you said through Latin Dance that you've um started to do. Are there times where you're on this that you do feel lonely, or have you been able to connect and build pockets of communities in your travels? Um, so tell us a little bit more about that that portion of it, because I don't know how long is there a set time that you spend in each country, or is it kind of it just depends um how you're feeling about it. So talk a little bit about maybe how long you're in those places, how you choose those places, and then how you kind of get involved with the community and and feeling connected to to the people there as you're moving so often, which I don't, you know, yeah, tell us how often that is.

Lindsey:

Yeah, no, I've stayed as as short as one month and as long as a year in any particular location. And the year the year-long one was actually because that was when I found my passion for Latin dance. And it was in Playa del Carmen, Mexico, which is very close to Cancun on the coast. Um it is quite a touristic area. And I was able to do my work relatively well there, but towards the end of my my time of living there, because I actually rented like a place, like I was living there. The I want to say the last few months, like the power went out multiple times, like I couldn't work, it became very difficult uh to maintain like my business side of things, and then also being by the beach, you know, it's lovely. Like I I I love the ocean, I love the beach, but it can also like just not feel you don't feel as motivated to sit down and do work when you're in a location like that. I realized, well, the reason that I stayed there for so long, like I said, was because I I found my passion for Latin dance and I started training with instructors there, and yeah, I I ended up committing to uh uh almost a year of training one-on-one with uh with a teacher there. And so I was like, well, I have to stay. Like I love, you know, I'm loving this, I'm loving this new journey, this new passion. And there was a community of dancers there, and like I mean, they become your friends because I was dancing out dancing so much. So, you know, you can take the lessons and the classes, and then they have what they call socials, they're called socials, which I thought was an interesting name for it. I'm like, when you hear social, you think we're gonna be social, but it's a dance social, so almost any night of the week you can find one happening, and it's open dancing. So you show up, they have a DJ, and everyone's just there to dance, which is really nice because I had given up my years prior of going out to clubs and things like that. I don't really drink as much anymore, and I don't like that atmosphere of like people getting drunk and men hitting on you and things, but this is completely different. People there might be some people enjoying a beverage or two, but they're not there for that. There's we're there for to dance, and so yeah, you show up and it's like hours, you know, upon hours of dancing, and it's like it just became my addiction. So that was why I I ended up signing a lease to stay there as long as I did, because I was like, I'm committed to learning, I'm committing to getting really good at this style of dance, uh, which was salsa and bachata. To go back to your question, which was about choosing places and things like that. Over the course of the years, like I would start to feel intuitively like, okay, I'm on this journey to continue to kind of see new countries. And you know, when I feel that nudge of like, okay, I want to see a new country now, and like I was saying, I had spent a year in one location, and I I was really starting to feel that nudge of like, well, I'm I'm pretty good at at this style of dance now, and I know it it exists in other countries and cities, so I kind of you know pivoted with my planning as far as saying, like, I want to, you know, choose a place that I really want to. Go to, but also they have to have dance there because I want to be able to continue dancing, and and then that's how I meet people too. So when I land in a new city, like I did that over the course of this past year, a new city I landed in was Medellin, Colombia and Lima, Peru. But I spent more time in Medellin because it's it's one of those cities that's like it's not as big of a city as like here in Mexico City. It's it's much smaller, it's it's very green, it's it has a lot of different things that I I really enjoyed. It was very affordable as well. I'll say that. I did have quite a bit of bad experiences with some of the Airbnbs there. That was the only downside, and so that was a little bit stressful. Yeah, when I landed there. And the thing is, once you're once you're in these dance communities, and you know, you say, Hey, I'm heading to Medellin, Colombia next month, they're like, Oh, you need to check this place out, or you need to meet this person. The same thing happened to me when I went to Lima. Someone was like, Hey, uh, you should talk to this person when you arrive, they'll show you around, and that's kind of what happened. This this is uh I met this girl who was also within the dance scene, but she was really nice. She's like, I can show you around, we can I can show you where the good restaurants are, things like that. So it's like there's a lot of common threads, it's almost like a web, at least here in like this, you know, Central and South American countries, and um yeah, so so that was nice uh to be able to do that. But prior to you know um finding my place in the dance community, I I would had been traveling for two or three years prior to that. Before that, this chapter started, and so it was a lot of solo travel, and it was a bit harder to like meet people. But my advice is always like find find what you are passionate about or find the activities that you want to do, do tours. You can stay in a hostel if you're comfortable with that, because there's always other travelers there, and they're of all ages, like people want to think like, oh, it's just very young people, and that might be the majority, but I've stayed in hostels where I have my own private room. I don't do the whole dorm thing at my age, especially now. There's there's different ways that you can tap into communities, and a lot of these cities have already have built-in communities, like you can do go to language exchange events, especially if you're new to the language. You know, that's a great way to also meet local people, not just other travelers like you.

Katie:

So piggybacking off of community, um, you had mentioned um when you reached out to me that you were considering exploring dating, the dating scene. So many women in their 40s will relate to that idea of dating is different than obviously in their 20s. Have you started dating? Have is it something that you're just thinking about doing? Have you tested the waters? Do you know how you would navigate doing that, especially since you are abroad? You said that you wanted to, you know, get into dating while you are abroad. So so tell us a little bit about that. Have you have you done it yet? Have you tried it? And what obviously, what are the difficulties for you as far as trying to find maybe a a long-term companion, a husband, whatever it may be. Um, so tell us a little bit about that and what it looks like for you living this lifestyle that you are living.

Lindsey:

Yeah, that's a loaded question. Yes, I have dated abroad. I've I've dated, you know, ultimately I was setting out to date more to try to find someone like me that is doing what I'm doing. Um, another nomad, or at least someone that is flexible with their lifestyle. And I will say I have not been that successful finding that type of person, but I I know they're out there and I'm I'm even I connect with them somewhat regularly. I feel like at least recently I have on, and I have to use the apps. There's no other way, really. I mean, of course I can go out in the street and maybe someone will talk to me, but that doesn't happen as often, even in the US, you know? So I know that that's definitely a challenge that a lot of us are facing. But yeah, I dated the the men that I've dated have been local. Um the first guy I dated was in Mexico in my earlier part of my journey, and he actually lived in the States for many years as well. So he was like Mexican-American, which was nice because he spoke great English, and you know, we had some commonalities there. Yeah, I mean, it just didn't work out for other reasons he was in a different kind of stage of his life and had kids, and um, you know, we just decided that we weren't ready to like kind of move it to a more serious place. And then yeah, I dated someone at the end of last year in Colombia, and um, he didn't know that well of English, and so we took it as a challenge for me to improve my Spanish. Um, and it was, I'll just say, like, it was just over the course of a few months, and we had the uh a strong connection in terms of a shared interest for adventure, and so I is even though I kind of felt intuitively he's probably not like my future husband, I still enjoyed dating him because we did a lot of adventures together, he showed me his country, he took me to the coast of Colombia, we went on a long road trip together, we stayed on an island that didn't have electricity, everything was on solar, and so that was a fun experience. And so, yeah, so I would say, like, even though yes, I am looking for my future partner, my future husband, etc., like these experiences that I've that I've had, the dating experiences that I've had, have been nice to just view it as like a fun way to experience another country through the eyes of your the guy you're dating, and for him to kind of show you things that you might not see on your own. So, yeah, I don't have any regrets there, but I would say like nowadays, yeah, I would say the difficulties are definitely cultural differences, of course, language barrier if they don't speak you know English very well, which I I don't think I'll do that again. They need to be able to speak English. Yeah, so now I'm like I'm very open to just any of any of the possibilities. Like recently, you know, I will hop onto the apps when I feel I have the capacity for that because they can be quite draining. But I've connected with men, you know, that were maybe just passing through Mexico. They were on vacation, but they're actually from the states, and so I'm very open to some type of long distance scenario. Obviously, it would that would be just temporary, like in the beginning. And then exploring and discovering, like, okay, wherever whatever state they live in, or if it is another country, I have to really consider is this a place I can see myself, you know, if they are beholden to that state or that city. Ideal situation for me would be, like I said, maybe not that they're super flexible life, have a super flexible lifestyle like I do, but they have an open mind of like, yeah, sure, I might live here in Houston, Texas, or Atlanta, Georgia, or wherever they're from. Um, but I am open to either, let's say, spending half the year in another country with you. Or, you know, I might say to them, like, yeah, I'm I'm open to living in in your city and state, but are you open to traveling several times a year? Are you able to do that? Because I actually wrote in a substack, I don't know how many of you've read, but I think I said something like, I know this isn't a sustainable way of life forever for me, obviously. And I know that I will have to make some sacrifices when I find my when I get together with my future partner. But I feel like the next phase of that of my life or chat this next chapter will look a little different, but it's not I I don't feel that I'm come that comfortable with just settling down into like the very traditional way of living, which is like you know, we live in one place for the entire year and go on a vacation for like two weeks a year. Like, I don't know if I could drastically shift into that. Like, and I I told a man recently actually that I connected with on the apps. I said, because you know, I have to explain also my lifestyle and what I've done in the last few years, and some men are very receptive to it, some are a little taken aback by it and they don't understand it, and that's fine. I want the man that's open and is also maybe a traveler. I have actually connected with several men recently that I love what I see on their profile, like I I love to travel and I've been to this many countries, etc. Then I know that they'll understand my lifestyle and and all that. Um, but yeah, this next phase for me, I feel like what like what I would desire would be like, you know, let's have properties in multiple locations and live in different locations throughout the year. That would be super cool for me.

Katie:

Yeah, I our family when we got stuck in like a snowstorm south. I live in Utah and we were driving home, I don't remember what time of year it was, but there was a storm coming, and so we stayed in one of our little small towns um south of where we live. And while we were there, we met a family who the husband and wife both work remotely, and so they just they travel a lot together with their, I think they had the two or three kids, and that was just kind of their lifestyle, like they have a home base, but then they still go off and they explore and they you know Airbnb or stay at you know little hotels on their way, and so I I thought that that was kind of interesting. So it is possible, you know, to find to find something and be able to do that. I have many friends that have done somewhat of a nomad lifestyle with family and kids, and so it it is possible, it has happened. Um, obviously, you have to have a lot of great resources and a lot of great backup and help, but it is it is possible um to have that. As as far as kind of we'll we'll start to kind of wrap this up, but on on the podcast, I kind of want to you know talk about you know, people that are in the process of something. And so what are you figuring out right now that you are still kind of in the process of, whether that's personally or professionally? So um I know we've talked about the dating aspect of it. So what is something that you really want to try and focus on right now as far as what you're in the process of?

Lindsey:

Yeah, I mean, I I like I think that's that's just kind of a continuation of the dating aspect because that is like I said, I'm 42 now, so I just turned 42 in September. And just like when I was turning 36 and saying, I need to do this now, I need to get out there and travel and see the world before it's I'm too old and whatever. I mean, we can of course travel at any age, like but um, but now it's like I'm on that cusp. Like I I've never really known if I would want to have kids. Like, I'll just put that out there bluntly. But I I feel like that possibility and that option is slipping away, as we all know, as we start to get to this age, and you know, I've gone through stages of grief with it. Like, oh no, I'm 42 and I am not married yet, and you know, I'm not where most women are at this age, but like at the same time, like it's these mixed emotions of like, but I've I've created such a rich life for myself, I've done so many things that many women that get to my age haven't done yet, or maybe never will. In the space of like not having that partner over, you know, years ago when I made this leap. It was like, well, I'm gonna, I'm not, what am I waiting for? You know, like let me get out there and do this, and then maybe I'll meet my partner along the way. And that that's been kind of my hope and the faith that I lean back on is like, you know, I kind of second guess myself, like I I I created this lifestyle and I've gone on this journey and adventure, but oh no, am I blocking out love because a man might meet me and think my life's not stable, or you know, and I'm just like, and I've had these conversations with men on the apps recently, even too, and I um yeah, I I I don't yet know what that next phase is gonna look like because I've just been going on a whim for so long. I've just been being led fully, you know, being pulled or led by my intuition, and I don't know if that's gonna get me what I want in this next phase. Um, but I also know I can't control outcomes and I can't control other people. I can only control myself, and I want to just stay rooted in like what brings me joy, and you know, so I am focused on pivoting a little bit in my business. Like I've enjoyed what I'm doing, but it's been quite up and down for me this last year or two, and uh I want to keep doing that kind of but more on the side, it's been my main thing, and now I'm kind of pushing it aside a little bit because I actually do want to start building my own kind of digital nomad community um and like create a business around it. So that's kind of what I'm figuring out right now. Um, potentially gonna invest in a coach to like really get it to a place where I could monetize it and stuff. I mean, that is the goal, but the goal is also I want to create like a community around designing your your life, like your life by design. That's kind of that's the name of my substack. And so I'm gonna grow that as kind of a brand. And um, so that, and then also alongside it, continuing to just be open to the possibilities with dating men, and yeah, a fun little experiment that I'll just share in light of the dating thing is you know, when uh before I travel to a country, I I will set my location to there within the dating apps. And I've done that in the past, and it I've gone on dates from it, but like it hasn't materialized obviously into anything serious. So now I am running experiments where because I am considering American men and like potentially living in the states at some point, um, while like I said, still being able to travel and stuff. So I recently started doing that. I started setting my location to different cities in the US where I think there might be like you know, good quality single men. And um yeah, I'm just experimenting with that and I'm putting in my profile, like must be open to long term or long distance at first. And um, so I'm talking to a few men in some cities in the US right now, and and they're very, like I said, open and understanding of my lifestyle. And I'm just like, yeah, you know, if things go well between us, like if we continue to talk and get to know each other, maybe I'll make a visit to your city, and you know, with the idea of like me potentially living there. So I have some conversations going well, and we'll see what comes of that because I am going to the States on Friday. I'm going to New York to see my family, and then you know, I don't know what's coming next. So it's like, yeah, my fallback is oh, I can just you know go back to Mexico and continue my nomadic life, but I don't feel that I've dated enough here to know, like I don't think that my future husband is in one of these countries, so now I'm kind of circling back around, like, okay, let me try dating American men again. So that's where I'm at.

Katie:

And and um when you're when you're picking the cities, because I live in Utah and we're a very outdoorsy, adventurous area, and I don't know if that is something that you absolutely love because we have the beautiful mountains. You can go hiking, you can go skiing in southern Utah. You have the red rocks, and people do um uh slick rock biking, mountain biking, all anyway, tons of outdoor activities. Love, love Utah. Okay, I absolutely love it. Don't move here though. We already have too many people that live here. Oh my gosh.

Lindsey:

Um, that's the problem. So I'm in the southern states.

Katie:

Yeah, and we actually it's really funny because we actually have a community well, I don't know that it's still I I guess it's kind of a thing. Um our n one of my neighbors growing up, they were an older couple and they live next to us in like the spring summer months, and then they would hibernate to southern they had a smaller place in southern Utah because it's close to Nevada, it's it doesn't really snow there or anything, and so there's a lot of people who will, you know, kind of live here for six months and then move there for six months, and and they kind of do that. But um, but when you're picking these cities, what um for your app, um, what are the types of things that you take into consideration? Is it the environment? Is it just a a feeling? Is it what are what are some of the characteristics of the actual location, not necessarily the people that draw you to it? So are there certain things and criteria as far as like living or experiences, outdoors, nature? What are some of those things that you think about when you're picking these places, or is it more the people that you're looking for?

Lindsey:

It's a little bit of both. Right now I'm doing the experiment of with more of the people, of the men. Um, even using ChatGPT with a little bit of research and stuff, like and I had heard not that long ago that um certain cities in California, I think mainly I think it's San Jose actually, which is like I don't know enough about it. I think I've been to San Francisco once. Um, but the sheer percentage of single men like far outnumbers single women, and so yeah. So I just started experimenting in that city, so I haven't really had any conversations going yet from there. The first one I chose was in Texas, and um yeah, I just I particularly like it's funny because I don't live a short such a traditional life right now, right? But I feel like I I am looking more for those traditional values in men. Um I am not into politics, and I I I don't pick based off of that, but I I know I don't want a man that's extreme in either direction. Don't want super liberal, I don't necessarily want super conservative, or they can be conservative, but like not like a diehard Trump supporter or something like that, you know. Like I prefer someone that is able to kind of be in the middle and like kind of see both sides, like because that's kind of where I am at um when it comes to that. Um, but someone that's yeah, uh traditionally minded man that you know believes in protecting and providing for their women, like that's for their woman. That's that's what I'm looking for. And I feel like, you know, I lived in the South, I lived in Florida for 10 years. I didn't have the you know, I dated there as well, and I had some good experiences, like I feel like it's a mixed, can be a mixed bag, but yeah, at 42, I'm also like I'm open to dating men around my age, but I feel like the more mature ones are gonna be late 40s, early 50s, and so I am open to age gap as well. If you know, ultimately it's not about that, it's do you have your shit together? Are you ready to welcome a partner into your life? And you know, that wants to move at a slow, you know, a steady but slow pace because I have been that's the problem dating here. I've I found like in the Latin culture, like these men are can be love bombers, they can come on very, very strong, and then back off. And I want to avoid that. I I want to find a man that's stable, steady, grounded, and is like I'm ready to build a life with a woman with my future partner. So yeah, like I said, it is it's a big experiment, it's not something that I like I know I have set in stone. Like, I'm just like, let me just see. Like, I I feel like being open to the possibilities is really why I started this lifestyle. Like, even when I at 36, when I embarked on this lifestyle, um, I I took this into consideration and thinking, like, I'm gonna be optimistic, I can meet my man in an airport, I can meet him along my travels. He could be American or he could be from another country, who knows? I'm opening myself up to the global dating market. And then I have other people telling me, oh, you know, more closed-minded people, like, oh, they won't take you seriously because you're constantly traveling. And I'm like, but so what? That doesn't mean that I'm gonna like I could meet the love of my life and say bye-bye to this lifestyle very easily. And so maybe not very easily, but like I'm will I'm willing to change my life around for the right person. Like, right, why if a man is gonna meet me and judge me right away and say, oh, screw her, she's you know, all over the place, she's not stable, well then I don't want that man because he's pre-judging me. And but I recently some of the guys I've connected with in Texas have been actually pretty open-minded to it, and they're like, wow, like they're actually impressed, and they think it's so cool, and they're like, You've lived such a cool life, I want to learn more about you, and so that's those are the men that I want to meet. Like, they're traditional-minded and how we can build a life together, but they're also open-minded about like my past and how I've how I've arrived here.

Katie:

Well, I will I will say, having literally just met you today, face face to face online, okay. Yeah, I will hope that eventually you do get what I will call your hallmark moment. So if you're not familiar with the the hallmarky, like you know, just like the randomly running into somebody and kind of falls into your life, and then I would hope that for you. That happened too, right?

Lindsey:

It it does.

Katie:

My my my brother and his wife, and um, it's a second marriage for him, first for her, but she is in her early 40s, and they just had a baby, they've been married for I don't know, two years now, and it was kind of a whirlwind, kismet, like absolutely like perfect little love story that they had, and and it can happen, and I hope one day that I will get her on the podcast to kind of talk about her experience, but um it it I've seen it happen. Um, so it it does happen and it happens more regularly than people think. I mean, I I'm almost 40 and I've been married for almost 20 years, so I can say that I was kind of out of the dating game pretty early on in my life. I found my person and um I was lucky lucky with that, and I sometimes I'm just like, oh my gosh, I I don't know how I would have done it and living that way um for for such a long time. But there are very many strong women who go through and they go through things like what you've gone through and and then they are able to find you know that peace and it fits right in and it feels like you guys have known each other forever. So I would really hope that that happens for you. Um so I'm putting it out into the universe that something like that does happen for you, and that you're able to find somebody, um, especially since you're open to it, because sometimes, like you said, people are focused on other other things and other aspects of their life, and they're kind of I you know, kind of closed door to that part of their life for right now, and then they open it back up and trying to see where it fits, and obviously fitting into your lifestyle. Um, hopefully, but hopefully you're able to find something for you and for that other person that's out there somewhere, hopefully for you.

Lindsey:

So um, all right.

Katie:

So, is there anything else that you want to talk about before we close things up for for the day? Anything that you wanna um talk about your Substack or anything you want to plug that really quick. Um, it's uh life by design.

Lindsey:

Um life by design, yeah.

Katie:

Yeah, and so um for those of you that don't know, Substack is kind of like a blogging thing that you can do, right? Um I have one, I've never used it, but I go on and I'll read other people's people's things. Um, and so I was able to read a couple of yours. Um, but kind of let us know where you're hoping to go with that, I guess.

Lindsey:

Yeah, sure. Yeah, I mean it's I started it about a year ago. It was just a place for me to, you know, share maybe travel stories, musings, tips. It's it's yeah, it's still kind of in an evolution of like what what do I really want to share here? Um and it's you know it's been purely by inspiration, like when I when I push publish one, um, when I feel the inspiration to to share a story or just to talk about where I'm at. So yeah, if if if anyone wants to subscribe, feel free. It's a free free subscription. Um and yeah, this new community that I'll be launching around that that concept or that idea of creating your life by design um will be coming soon, and I'm sure I'll I'll be sharing about it there on the Substack. So, yeah, that would be the good place to keep following along or find me on Instagram. Um, I do share a number of similar things. I also share like my dance journey on there, and it's a it's a combination of my my travels and dancing on my Instagram.

Katie:

Awesome. All right, well, thank Lindsey. Thank you so much for sharing your story. And you are the reminder we all need that it's never too late to change everything, and that happiness, happiness doesn't have to look like a white picket fence. If you love today's episode, please make sure to follow Lindsey's um Instagram and Substack, which will be linked in the show notes. Um, and also subscribe to 40-ish and figuring it out and don't miss our next episode. But until then, keep laughing, keep exploring, and keep figuring it out. 40-ish and figuring it out is produced and edited by me, Katie Collicker, sound mixing, but also me. We're a very efficient one-woman show over here. The music for this episode was created using the Suno app, and a special thanks to Suno for providing licensed royalty-free music through their platform. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode.