Planning For Love After Loss

The waves of grief never truly stop—but they can get smaller when the logistics are clear. Author Lynn Stone joins us to share how her husband’s unexpected passing led her to create a practical, compassionate guide for end-of-life planning that puts love first. This conversation moves past stigma and superstition and into simple actions that protect the people we care about most.

We walk through the real costs families face—from funeral expenses and burial or cremation fees to the surprising price of death certificates—and why a single life insurance policy often isn’t enough. Lynn breaks down the essentials: durable and medical powers of attorney, advance directives, beneficiary reviews, and adding payable-on-death designations at the bank. She also explains why documenting passwords and digital accounts may be the single most helpful step you can take this week. Along the way, we talk about organizing important documents in a fire safe or structured file system, setting a regular review cadence, and “cross-training” at home so no one is left in the dark about bills, maintenance, or daily routines.

Beyond the checklists, Lynn speaks openly about therapy, widow support groups, and the fog that follows loss. Her story shows how preparation eases decision fatigue during the hardest days and how planning can strengthen families long before they need it. If you’ve avoided the topic because it feels scary or morbid, this episode offers a kinder frame: planning is an act of love, a way to lower the height of future waves, and a gift of peace for the people who will carry your memory forward.

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Waves Of Grief
• 0:58 Meet Author Lynn Stone
• 3:16 From Loss To Purpose
• 7:38 Why We Avoid End-Of-Life Talks
• 7:38 Common Planning Misconceptions
• 12:51 The Real Costs Of Death
• 18:51 First Concrete Steps To Prepare
• 24:22 Organizing Documents And Access
• 28:06 Update Cycles And Beneficiaries
• 31:21 Planning As An Act Of Love
• 36:58 Grief Support And Community

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:05

You've probably heard about the we the waves of grief. You know, like it's like sometimes it feels like you're in a tsunami, it's just constant. The waves are huge. You just you you're trying to you feel like you're never getting out of it. And as time goes on, the waves are less and less. They're still there, but it's just it's not as often, and it's not as much, they're not as strong.

Katie: 0:58

My guest is author Lynn Stone of Till Death Do Us Part: A Practical Guide to Preparing for the Inevitable. After the unexpected passing of her husband ten years ago, Lynn turned her grief into purpose, helping others prepare for one of life's hardest moments with compassion and clarity and practical advice. We're talking about what it means to plan for the future, why it matters, and how doing so act is actually one of the most loving things you can do for your family. So, Lynn, let's start with your story. What led you to write this book? How did your husband's passing change the way you see end of life planning?

SPEAKER_01: 1:35

All right. Well, thank you so much for having me. Um so I wrote this book because I wanted to help people be proactive rather than reactive when it came to death. Um his passing showed me th how woefully unprepared we were as a couple when it came to this unexpected tragedy and uh how important it is to have these different things figured out ahead of time. So most of the guesswork is taken care of once the plans need to be implemented.

Katie: 1:59

Um and so was his death, you said unexpected. So I don't necessarily need to go into details, but you know, there's some people like I have a friend whose husband tragically died young of a brain tumor, so they kind of knew it was happening. Um but you know, there's obviously other unexpected events that come up in people's lives. Um and so obviously it's not something that we want to think about, but we do need to think about for sure. Yeah, for sure. Um so was there something about your experience that made you realize how unprepared most of us really are?

SPEAKER_01: 2:37

Definitely. Uh the only thing we had uh was a life insurance policy policy through his work. Um and when I came across other widows, some had it figured out, but most of them were just as bad, if not worse off, than I was uh when everything happened. So it's definitely a steep learning curve once your pat your partner passes away, especially if it was unexpected. And sometimes even if it is unexpected or if it is expected, you know, people don't plan. They're so caught up in the moment that they're not thinking about life afterwards.

Katie: 3:07

So yeah. Um, so how did you find the strength to take something so painful and turn it into something that could help others?

SPEAKER_01: 3:16

Um, going through this loss, uh, I openly talk about death. I kind of became the de facto expert. It kind of seemed like it was it only made sense to take my personal lessons and the lessons that so many others had learned uh that they'd shared and put it into a format of some sort to help others address the elephant in the room, if you will, and that no one that one no one actually wants to acknowledge. Uh so that's that's how I did it. I just I just wanted to help other people so that they didn't have to feel the same pain that I felt.

Katie: 3:46

And how long after his passing were you did you think about writing this?

SPEAKER_01: 3:52

Um I was probably I was uh probably like th three years after three years post-loss. I kind of thought about it all along, but you know, trying to think about what it was that I wanted to do, how I wanted to help people. And then it just kind of dawned on me. It's like, well, why don't you just write a book? Right, just spell it out for them and think about all the things. And I think it took me so long because I was trying to think of all of the possibilities. And all you know, I I could speak from my experience, and I had kind of pulled other widow groups and asked them, you know, some of their things, but it was just just putting it all together and trying to be as succinct and as thorough as I could be, and that was really the the gist of it. I just it took me it was it I finally published it in 20, well, I f I finally punished it, put published it this year. Uh so I had worked all worked off and on, starting in probably 2017, 2018, and then off and on, off and on, then let it sit for a couple years and pick it up and do so. It was just, you know, because I'm living life too, right? I'm going through life and going through things and and so but I I kept being drawn back to it. I needed to continue writing all this, I needed to finalize it. So actually, um, while I was on maternity leave with my son, I had finished it. Like I'm like, okay, I'm writing it all out, and I got it, got it caught, you know, got it edited and all that stuff, and then I hit the button finally on January 1st. So that's when I published it.

Katie: 5:23

Do you think that there was a big emotional hurdle that came with revisiting it and keeping it um and writing it?

SPEAKER_01: 5:32

Absolutely. Um, and I think it's because you get so far, and you've probably heard about the we the waves of grief. You know, like it's like sometimes it feels like you're in a tsunami, it's just constant, the waves are huge, you just you know you're trying you you feel like you're never getting out of it. And as time goes on, the waves are less and less. They're still there, but it's just it's not as often, and it's not as much, they're not as strong. Um, so writing it, you know, I was focused on certain parts, and of course, you know, as I'm going through them, I'm reflecting back on what I had gone through to kind of make me think about what was my life like doing this thing and what could we have done better? What should we have done, you know, that and what could other people do to kind of prepare that way? They don't have to feel the same. I don't know if it just I don't want to say burden, burden might not be the right word, but that's just how it feels like you just feel like you're just where you're carrying everything on your shoulders. So if you know kind of what you need to do, it makes it a lot easier whenever you don't have to worry about, well, how did they do that, or what where did they say they went to do this, or where did they put that thing? So that that's really what I kind of try to draw out in the book.

Katie: 6:38

Yeah. And no one wants to talk about death or end-of-life planning. So why do you think we avoid this part of it so much?

SPEAKER_01: 6:48

It's painful. No one wants to talk about it. Um, no one wants to think about their own mortality uh or their loved ones needing to live life without them. Um, so it's very, very difficult to really sit down and kind of work through that process. And honestly, we all take life for granted. You know, we fully expect that we will wake so far, we've woken up every day and we've just lived our lives, you know, how we wanted to, and we've made plans for tomorrow and it's worked out. So I think we just kind of become so um complacent with how we live our lives that we just forget how fragile it is and how how easy it is to be taken away.

Katie: 7:27

Yeah. Um, so what are some common misconceptions that people would have about planning for this unexpected or expected event like the inevitable?

SPEAKER_01: 7:38

Yeah, I think there's there's quite a few out there, um, but I think I came up kind of with uh what I call the top three. Um the first two have to do with life insurance, and I think that we underestimate how much it actually will cost for our spouse to survive after we pass. Um, you know, because we and I don't know about you, um, you know, you and your husband, you took your vows and you expect that you're gonna turn old, you know, you're gonna live old and gray and you're gonna be, you know, in your 80s or 90s, right? I mean, we just have this expectation that we're going to live that long. And so when we think, oh, you know,$500,000 policy, that's great. A million dollar policy, that should be, you should be set for life. And if you really think about a million dollars, how far is a million dollars going to take you whenever you've got a mortgage, a car payment? You know what I mean? Like you so I think what happens a lot of times whenever you get this type of money, you know, you you should get a financial planner. A lot of people don't. A lot of people think they can figure it out. Um, but they try to just take out all of their debts. So like they pay off their mortgage, they pay off their cars, they take all, you know, whatever outstanding debt they have so that they are debt-free, which helps a lot for the short term, but then you know, we get careless and start adding up. So I think that's one thing. Like we underestimate life insurance and how much we actually would need. Um, the other thing is that we underestimate how many policies we should have. You know, so my husband had a policy, I have a policy through work, and we had a policy each for my stepson and my daughter. Just one of those Gerber life policies, little term life policies. And that's it. But um, I have a friend that's a life insurance agent, and he says, you know, you really should have a few of them. You know, have one for you, have one for your spouse, have one for each of your kids, have one that covers your mortgage, have one that covers, you know, like your mortgage and other loans that you might have. If you have a boat, if you have a bunch of cars, you know, all those things. Um have get burial insurance, like get funeral insurance, and those, you know, things that people don't even think about, which kind of leads into the third one that I think a lot of people completely and totally underestimate, don't think about, don't realize. And that's how much it the price of death, like how much it costs to bury somebody. Um, it is there's so many so many costs associated with it that we don't even think about um autopsies. If you decide to have an autopsy done on your spouse because you don't know what happened or they have to do it, whatever, it costs money. Um, the actual burial process, the cremation process. So right now, a funeral, and this is kind of on the on the smaller scale, runs about$10,000 to$15,000. And that, you know, that's the casket, that's the the embalming process, that's the you know, the church, the whatever, the burial, the vault. Um, you know, sometimes I, you know, honestly, I got lucky. Um, where we had where we had buried my husband was a family plot. So the plot was I think it was like$250, which was extremely, extremely cheap. Um, some places are easily in the thousands for just a plot. So, you know, and if you get cremated, I mean it's just as expensive to get cream, it's not as expensive, but it's still expensive. And then if you want to be put into a mausoleum or something like that, you know, they you know, the cost to do that, the internment of that. Um, so it's just there's so much cost. And then the other part of that, what they don't think about, is the the death certificates you have to pay for.

Katie: 11:13

You would think that they would yeah, you'd think that they would just offer like a marriage certificate or something. Yeah, yeah, you gotta pay for it.

SPEAKER_01: 11:19

Got to pay for it. It's here in Georgia, it's$25 for the first copy and five dollars for every additional copy if you get them all at once. But if I only got like two copies and I needed five, and I went back to the um the state, the department, I can't think of the department of health or whatever they call it here, um, it was another$25 and then a five dollar charge for every additional. So the, I mean, they it's so just so ridiculously expensive. It's just it's crazy. And then don't even, you know, then you start talking about the will process. So I think you know, people don't people don't think about the just how much is involved expense-wise, and that they just don't know. I didn't know, I should I definitely didn't know. It was it was crazy.

Katie: 12:03

Yeah, my parents it was weird to think, but in the last several years, like you know, they've talked about where their burial plots are, and they've bought more plots and different things because my mom is trying to make sure her siblings are gonna be covered because she's like, I'm pretty sure that they won't know where they're gonna go, and so it's really weird thinking about it, and it was like we're gonna have to think about and plan that kind of stuff, and where are they gonna be, and different things like that. So I definitely I've I've thought about it a little bit, and you know, but obviously you don't want to think about death and but it it's obviously a part of life, it's part of the cycle, and it'll happen. So um so your book offers practic a practical roadmap for people who want to get their affairs in order but don't know where to start. What are the first few steps someone should take? And we kind of went over some of the misconceptions, which could be some of those first steps, I guess.

SPEAKER_01: 13:08

But well, interestingly enough, I they're not. Um I have like the like kind of like my top five things. I mean, all everything's important, but like the top five things. So the first two are for now. So if you don't already have them, you should really look into getting your durable power of attorney and your medical power of attorney, get that documentation set up, get your persons or persons identified, and have that established. And then the second doc or the second set of documents would be like your advanced directive, or um, some people do like their five wishes document and that just outlining what your stuff is for now, because that's your voice. So your voice for now, um, whenever you become incapacitated, um, if you're in the hospital in a coma or you had a heart attack or whatever, or if something happens where you you have mentally devolved and you're no longer able to make decisions for yourself, that's when these will come into play. Um, so they're incredibly important for now. And then, of course, you know, going forward, you'll work on your will and all that stuff. But um, reviewing your insurance policies, updating your beneficiaries as appropriate, um, going to your bank and updating their your accounts with a payable on-death designation, that's really important, especially if you don't have your spouse on your account. So sometimes you know you'll have joint accounts and then you might have your own personal accounts. If something happens to you, your spouse doesn't automatically get access to that account, even though we think they might. So you would have to take the step to do that. And sometimes that's just going to the bank and saying, I want to nominate this person as being someone who can access my funds if something should happen to me. And then the last thing that I suggest everyone do is write down all of your online accounts and your passwords. And this is for like your online banking, any of your bills that you pay, online subscriptions like Hulu or Netflix or Disney Plus or like your social media accounts, all those things that we all like we all log on to our phones and we all get on there, and you know, sometimes we'll have our face ID or our biometric thumbprint or whatever. But if if something happens to you and you can't do that anymore, someone else will need to be able to do that. So just writing it all down and having it in a share or a space that's available is probably the best bet. So those are the big ones. Uh just getting started because those are relatively easy things to do. Uh, the password thing is probably the most easiest because you just go on your phone and like just start copying and pasting everything you write down. Because I don't know that anyone just remembers everything that they put in. I know I don't. So right, right.

Katie: 15:44

I know I have some of mine saved on my phone because I I'm like, well, this one I know is this and that is that. And I don't like using like the phone, like I have a Samsung, so like I I have like a Samsung pass and it'll create passwords for you for things. So I I have one website that I use that for, and now I'm like, but if I need to go on the computer, I don't know what the password is because it's on my phone. So um, yeah, it's definitely something something to think about. Um how do you find that it's easiest to organize this? Because it reminds me of just like you know, my parents always had their fire safe. I have a fire safe. That was like one of the first things that I was like, hey, we need to have a fire safe. Like, and my husband, I think he was kind of like, I don't know if his parents have one or if he thought I was like an old person, but I was just like, wherever we're at, we need to have a fire safe so we can put all of our important documents in there. Um so that's like you know, birth certificates, passports, and different things are obviously in there. And um my parents, you know, have their specific place that they keep their fire safe. I got mine, whatever. Um, so do you think that that's a reasonable place to store things up until obviously it doesn't fit um in the fire safe, depending on how big it is? Right.

SPEAKER_01: 17:02

Um yeah, absolutely. Um definitely keeping all of your documents together, gathering them all and keeping them together, keeping them organized. Um, fire safes are perfect. That's I mean, that's what I have. I have my fire safe inside of a gun safe, so it's like doubly protected. Um, but then you know, there are there's products out there, so there's something called the knockbox that people and it's kind of the same thing. It's all like a filing system where you can, you know, source it out by what you have and you can have it all in there figured out. Um, so there's it it doesn't have to be anything super fancy, just as long as as it's all there, like as long as you can easily access it or someone else can easily access it and see what you have and and then really you can figure out what you need and then you know get those get all those copies together. One a one-stop shop is a good policy.

Katie: 17:51

And um how often do you think people should review this? Annually, biannually, every couple years?

SPEAKER_01: 18:00

Yeah, I definitely think it should be a f um every few years. I'd say no more, at least five, no more than five years to go by, especially for your will. Um beneficiary stuff too, you know, things change. You know, sometimes you add kids, sometimes, you know, unfortunately you lose kids, sometimes there's you know, there's all sorts of chilling. Maybe you have your parents in there, one of them passes away. You know, maybe you had your best friend and you had a falling out, you know, there were so many possibilities. Uh so just making sure that things, you know, are current and up to date. Uh I would say no more than five years that you should be updating things just to make sure that they're still relevant.

Katie: 18:41

Um, and one of the things that struck me about your message is that end of life planning isn't really about death, it's about the love and peace of mind that for the people that are left behind. So, how has that perspective changed the way you live now?

SPEAKER_01: 18:57

So I try to be very intentional about my interactions with my family and friends. Um, I'm open and I share ideas and suggestions most times unsolicited because I know how fragile life can be, and I want to make sure that they are aware. Um, so I try to make sure, like if we're taking pictures, like, hey, let's set it up so that we can all be in the picture, you know, like we're not leaving anybody out because you're part of this. Like that's a big change we do with some of my family events and uh just making sure that we all get together at some point and just spending time together, making the memories, especially for the kids, you know, doing those things because really, whenever whenever all Zed and done, you know, people are gone, all that they have to look back on is pictures and you know, recollection of their memories and those types of things. So I just think it's really important to do that, and I try to make sure that my kids do that and that we are that we try to just embrace life as to the fullest. That sounds kind of cliche, but it's true. I just try to just enjoy everything while we can.

Katie: 19:54

Yeah. Um, what do you hope your readers feel after finishing going through the book?

SPEAKER_01: 20:00

So I really hope that they feel inspired to get to work. Sometimes, you know, it's a practical guide to preparing. So it, I mean, I outline everything. So, you know, I talk about the I talk about the business end, of course, at the at the beginning, but I also talk about schedules for like for your kids, if you have other people in your home that aren't your immediate kids, like if you have aunts, uncles, cousins, you know, stepcats, whatever, some, or maybe people that have special needs, or you have animals, or you have a plant, or whatever, like just setting up their schedules and routines and outlining them. Because if something happens to you, you're making sure that your husband can pick up and carry on with your kids so that they don't really miss a beat so that they know like they continue with their routine and their processes. Um so I talk about that. I talk about the home and making sure that um you know there's conversations happening, you know. So a lot of homes you have a kind of a division of of work, you know, like um this is very like a in my mind a traditional, it's not for everybody, every you know, everyone's different, but you know, sometimes the women are involved with child rearing and and making dinner and cleaning the house, and the men are outside working on the yard and doing all the maintenance and that stuff. And so my suggestion is that you kind of not flip-flop, but just kind of almost like a mini training, like work with each other and train them on these things so that they have awareness. Um, so I that's really my hope is that when people read this, they like just it just starts the conversation. And and honestly, it's been kind of funny some of the feedback that I've been getting. I have um some friends at church, and it's a husband and wife couple, and they the husband told me he's like, I heard something you were talking about, and I told her that we need I needed to show you how to do this. And she said, if something happens to you, I'm hiring somebody to do that because I don't want to learn. So, but it it opens the door for the conversation, and I think that you know, it just kind of I think it draws people closer together because you have that you're you're sharing those experiences, and so that that's my hope.

Katie: 22:05

Yeah, yeah, that reminds me of a book that it's a crime book, and uh a character's husband unexpectedly passes away in a thing at the beginning of the book, and she's ra lavishly rich, and so she's like her husband usually has like this thing that they do at the beginning of the year to maintain their house, and da-da-da. And she's like, Who's gonna do that for me now? Who's gonna make the list? Because I always throw it away, so that you know resonates. I mean, that it's obviously not realistic, at least for me, because I can't just hire people to go and do certain things and you know, whatever, but um definitely being able to know like I had all brothers, I my husband's family is basic they're similar to me. They have one daughter and all boys, and so they were the ones that mowed the lawn and whatever, and I myself have never used a lawnmower. Wow. I I feel like I could do it, but I have never been taught how to use one, and so I've even thought about it. I'm like, because sometimes my husband will travel and I'll be like, Oh, our grass needs to be mowed because he, you know, did it, but it wasn't like time to actually cut it, and then he's gone for an extent. And so I'm like, I really need to learn how to do that, you know. Like, we share a lot of the household stuff. We both do laundry, we both do dishes, we both cook and things, but like as far as the outside yard, I'm not really like I'll help, I'll rake leaves and pull weeds and stuff like that. But as far as like actually mowing the lawn, which luckily the house we're in right now doesn't have a very big yard because of the community we live in, but there is a a lawn to be mowed, and you know, my my kids are learning how, my sons are learning how and things, but I'm like, oh, that you know, because I know my mom knows how to mow a lawn, but I'm like, I don't know how. So anyway, that just makes me think about that because I don't.

SPEAKER_01: 24:05

Well, and I think that you know, and that's and really as people read this book and like just start having those conversations, recognizing where some of their like the shortcomings, right? It's like you know, and I mean it's not a negative thing, it's just like this is just something I never really learned. So growing up for me, uh my sister, it was just me and my sister. So we had like we were we were mowing the yard, we were picking up stick, we were out there doing all that stuff, but I never had to use the the weed trimmer. And you know, while my husband was alive, he did the weed trimming. And you know, after he passed away, I hired somebody to do the yard because I'm like like I don't know how to do the trimming or the edging because we had sidewalks, and I'm like, I don't know how to do that. So I hired someone, and then it got to the point where I'm like, I can't afford you anymore, so I'll I'm just not gonna worry with it, but you know, so but it is something that it's like okay, I I I need to learn that. So yeah, my my dad had mercy on me for Christmas. He bought me a weed trimmer and he taught me how to use it, so it worked though. I know how to do it now, so it works, but yeah.

Katie: 25:10

Yeah. Um, so what's one piece of advice that you would give to somebody who's scared to face this topic head on?

SPEAKER_01: 25:18

So I tend to be a little bit more frank about things, and my advice is that we're not getting out of this thing alive. Uh, so if you're afraid to think about it for yourself, think about it for your loved ones, think about it for your kids, for your spouse, um, because this truly is an act of love uh for them. And by taking time now to do those things and outlining your wishes, you're saving tons of headache and stress on your family should something happen once they, you know, once they are actually going through that because there's so much they're already grieving, and then having to make decisions for you because you didn't make those decisions is just one more thing that just makes it very difficult to go through that process. So that's my advice. Just just do it.

Katie: 26:06

Just do it. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's that part, you know, there's always something that people don't want to talk about, and it's obviously something that's very important that you do need to think about. Um so Lynn, I imagine that many listeners have gone through loss themselves or know someone who has. Um what helped you to begin to heal and find purpose again?

SPEAKER_01: 26:32

So I sought out grief uh therapy immediately after my husband passed. I actually called because he was in therapy before it was probably a couple years before he passed, and I reached out to his therapist and I found that it was comforting because she knew him and she knew me. So, you know, being able to talk to her about him, like she kind of she already knew him, so it helped me because it was just familiar, and so that that was very helpful. Um, I also reached and I got therapy for my daughter too, uh, because it just I knew that we needed as much support as we could get. And, you know, really whenever he passed, we didn't have family here. Uh the closest family was about almost two hours away. So we we stuck it out here, but we just needed that a little extra support. So we did that. Um, and then I was also able to find some um online groups through Facebook, and that really helped me a lot. Um, and they're the same misery loves company. It kind of resonates with that, but it's you know, we weren't always miserable, but you know, it's kind of whenever you see other people going through similar situations, and a lot of times what I found was the situations were worse, you know, the the deaths were more tragic, the um the situations were more dire. So it kind of gave just a different perspective, uh at least for me, and helped me to kind of process my emotions. And then, you know, they called grief a journey, you know, as you're working through trying to figure all these things out. And so people going through their journeys and sharing their their thoughts and their feelings, and really kind of things that I probably wouldn't have thought of myself, but they were presented in these forums, and then I thought, well, how do I feel about that? So it kind of helped me to process that in addition to to counseling. Uh, so that really um that's really what helped me.

Katie: 28:20

Yeah. Um, and did writing the book play a role in the part of your healing journey? I know you've already talked about, you know, you you worked on it a little bit and then you tabled it, and you know, so do you feel like that was a longer process for healing and being able to do that?

SPEAKER_01: 28:38

Or I think it helped a little bit um because it it helped me to almost kind of like an outsider looking in perspective, like kind of looking back through my life, and you know, because as you're going through as as as you're going through grief, as you're processing death and trying to figure things out, especially if if you're if it's your spouse that passes, you're in like what they call a widow fog. And so you aren't really like you're just not really mentally there, like you're you're thinking through everything, and you're very numb, and you're just not really processing things the way you probably should. So looking back so many years from that and being able to kind of assess that and preparing that for you know the book, I think it was helpful because I could just reflect on that and kind of see how far I've come and kind of where I still need to go and that kind of thing. So yeah, I I would give it a little bit of credit towards that for sure.

Katie: 29:36

Um, and what does resilience look like to you now, 10 years later?

SPEAKER_01: 29:42

So for me, resilience is knowing that I'm still here and I'm still moving forward uh despite everything. And so my daughter was seven when her daddy died, and failure was not an option for me. Yeah, like I said, it was just her and me here, no one else was here, you know, closest person was two hours away. So we had to build, we had to build our community, we had to build our friends and our family family and people here that you know became our family. And so um that was the big part of it. There were plenty of days where I didn't want to get up, but because of her, I did, and I had to, and so I continue to do that. And then of course now I mentioned uh earlier that I've got and he's now 16 months old, so I have a baby, so I'm just starting it all over again. But um, you know, it's just there's no rest for the weary. I'm living, I'm living for him and for me, right? Just trying to get it all going, and there's no intentions of stopping anytime soon. I think that's where the resilience comes in, is like you're just like the energizer bunny keeps going and go, just keep going. That's all you can do. Just keep going.

Katie: 30:47

Yeah, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, right?

SPEAKER_01: 30:50

Dory. Yeah.

Katie: 30:52

Um, all right. So Lynn, here's my signature question. What are you still figuring out right now?

SPEAKER_01: 31:00

So a couple years ago, so I'm still still in the 40s, 40s bracket here. Um, so a couple years, I was having what I would call a midlife crisis. Uh my daughter was starting her junior year of high school, uh, just gotten out of a year and a half relationship, and basically just starting over. Um, and so I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do if I, you know, especially once my daughter graduated. I'm like, where am I going to go? What am I going to do? What if, you know, what in the world? And um so I started dating and I met a fabulous man, and of course, wound up getting pregnant and having a baby as things as those things happen. Um, so you know, at 43, having having a baby. Um, but you know, I think that helping her, helping my daughter as she prepares to go out into the world, and then, you know, starting over again with my son and getting him ready to, you know, building him up and and teaching him and growing him, you know, I think that's really now my that's where I'm going. That's my direction now. But beyond that, um, besides being a mom, um, I'm also an advocate for widows, and I help I I want to help people start the conversation about their end-of-life planning. Um, that's been my latest kind of endeavor. And so with that, you know, I've I've got a few more books in me to write. Um, I've wanted to start my own podcast, and uh Lord knows what else he puts in my path to do. I mean, I'm just kind of winging it here, but I'm I'm still trying to figure it out, but it it will be okay.

Katie: 32:34

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's it's amazing like the different the different phases that these types of things happen because like I mentioned earlier, I have a friend who lost a husband in the last couple of years to a brain tumor. Um I have my husband's cousin who died um I don't want to say unexpectedly, um, I think it was a tumor as well, but he had also had heart problems like growing up, but he was married and had a couple of young kids, but they had adopted um another kid, and so you know, his widow is still just trucking along, and she had these three young, beautiful children, and it was just so heartbreaking to see that, but it's beautiful to be able to see where she's been able to go since that's happened, and um obviously I know that there is a community of people that are willing to help people like you know, like you in in that area that some of us just cannot relate to. Um and we want to support them in any way possible uh you know, when things like that happen, so that way if the unexpected happens to us or our families or things, that we obviously would have a community as well that would be able to assist or lend a shoulder or give advice or things like that because that's what it's all about making those connections, um, talking with other people that have been through it and things. And so that's what I've loved about talking to women on this podcast and being able to get advice from people who have gone through it or are going through different things that other people might not even realize they need to go through or talk about, you know. And especially at this stage in a lot of our lives where we have older parents who, you know, are gonna be coming to end of life as well. So this is a great topic to discuss with your parents. What is your plan? Where is your plan? What you know, hopefully, like for me, I'm like, I don't I'm assuming I know who my parents' power of attorney is if one or both of them passes, but I don't want to make any assumptions because I have no idea. Usually it's the eldest son. Um, but I have no idea. Like it's it's honestly, I you know, you just don't know. My brother had a health scare a couple years ago um post-COVID because of some complications and things, and you know, that was really scary. He was in the ICU, and it was one of those things where I know that his job because of the type of job that he has, that I know that they have great coverage for him, insurance and life insurance and things like that. But you know, what about he's divorced? What about his sons? Different things like anyway, so it's definitely something to think about um and discuss. And I love this topic because it's like I said earlier, it's something that a lot of us don't want to talk about, but it is very important to talk about because it's not something that you can just ignore because it will eventually happen, and none of us know when it's going to happen. I mean, even people that you know have maybe you know cancer or some sort of a something and they're given a time frame, they still don't know. It could be way sooner than they expect, it could be way longer than they expect. So it it's one of those things where you just you just don't know, and you want to make sure that you plan for it.

SPEAKER_01: 36:06

So yeah.

Katie: 36:09

Um all right. So thank you so much for opening up, Lynn, and being here and sharing this subject with everybody because honest your honesty and your book are such a gift, reminding us that planning for the end of life is really about living with intention today. Um, you can find Lynn's book, Till Death Do Us Part, a practical guide for preparing for the inevitable on Amazon and Kindle, right? Correct? Both of those places. Um and then it'll be linked in the show notes as well. Is do you have any social media platforms that people can connect with you um on that you want to share?

SPEAKER_01: 36:48

Sure. Yep, I'm on I'm on uh Facebook, author Lynn B. Stone. If you just put that in, it'll come right up. Uh that's where I'm at, and I share all of my upcoming things that I'm doing. I also have a workshop that I've been doing. I kind of go around now, I've been doing it locally, but I am interested in traveling if people are interested in the topic. I call it death doesn't wait workshops. Again, very in your face. Here it is, but it's very true. And what I like to do with those, I bring in local experts. So I bring in a local estate planning attorney, a local funeral planner, a local insurance agent, a CPA. I'd like to bring those people in and we just have very open conversations where they just talk about these things in their general areas and then open it up to the people to be able to have a conversation and ask their questions. So um I've done a couple of those, they turn out really well. Uh so Death Doesn't Wait workshops is the other page that I have if you want to follow that. And more to come. Definitely more to come. There's also an author page on Amazon too.

Katie: 37:48

Awesome. Yeah, and if if if I get to the point where I know that I would love to do like in-person events and live events for people, whether it's locally here or elsewhere, I would love to try and connect with you, obviously, sometime in the future. That would be really cool. I know in our area, a lot of people um I I feel like they kind of know the steps to take, but they don't know exactly who to contact or who they need to talk to or things like that. So that would definitely be something cool. If you're interested in that, please comment um on Spotify or on Instagram with this episode. Um, just so we know if there's any interest that you would want to have Lynn come out and talk about these things and do like a class, um, let us know if there's interest out there because I'm like, I know I would be interested. So all right. Until next time, keep laughing, keep learning, and keep figuring it out. Thanks, guys. 40-ish and figuring it out is produced and edited by me, Katie Collicker. Sound mixing, also me. We're a very efficient one woman show over here. The music for this episode was created using the Suno app. Special thanks to Suno for providing licensed royalty free music through their platform. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode.