Finding Focus At Forty

Ever stare at a messy room, feel the pressure rise, and freeze anyway? That’s where Katie starts—naming the fog, questioning old assumptions about ADHD, and sharing the small, human tools that finally moved the needle. No scripts, no tidy outline, just an honest walk through midlife brain wiring, why structure soothes, and how a body-doubling app plus swing music turned a chaotic living room into a 90-minute win.

We dig into the clues that stacked up over time: thriving with clear rules as a kid, hating the looseness of college, loving pattern-spotting and detail sleuthing at work, then avoiding tedious admin like it bites. Katie explains how doom piles happen, why perfectionism blocks podcast editing, and how dopamine drives both hyperfocus and last-minute sprints. You’ll hear about multi-sport childhoods, series binges, craft phases, and the shock of seeing your habits mirrored in someone else’s reel—and finally feeling seen instead of flawed.

There’s also a candid look at family dynamics, inherited tendencies, and the real fear of growing a “doom room.” Katie reframes the problem with practical design: body doubling for chores, focus music for momentum, short visible wins, and permission to release imperfect work. Even a youth soccer tournament heartbreak becomes a lesson in process over outcomes, reminding us that conditions aren’t always fair, but effort still matters.

If your brain craves novelty, resists chores, and comes alive under a deadline, you’ll find tools and relief here. Try a body-doubling session, pick a five-minute task, loop a focus track, and celebrate the finish. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope for their messy middle, and leave a review so more women can find these strategies and feel less alone.

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Transcript

A Freestyle Catch-Up

Katie 0:27

Hey friends, welcome back to 40 Itch and Figuring It Out. I'm your host, Katie, and today's episode is gonna look a little bit different because there's no guest, no structured outline, no perfectly packaged takeaway, it's just me. I wanted to do a little bit of a catch-up since I've been missing, I guess. And life lately has just felt hard to summarize, I guess. It's I've had some growth, I've learned a lot about myself, and been super busy as always. Um, so this episode's gonna be a little bit different, a little bit more of a freestyle. I know I'm supposed to be talking about what's happening with my body. I haven't done that episode yet, but that will come shortly. But I kind of wanted to talk to you guys about some things that I've discovered, that I've figured out about myself, some of the behind the scenes of what I'm learning and maybe what I'm avoiding in life. Um, and if you've been in a season where things feel a little unclear, but also quietly transformative, you're probably going to relate to this episode. All right, so let's go ahead and catch up. Um, so I haven't recorded an episode or done an interview for a few weeks, and I've been trying to figure out why. Um I mean, some of it is because I'm busy, but some of it is other stuff that maybe I didn't realize or figure out. And so ever since I did my interview initially, and this was even before it was released with Natalie Sharp, um, her episode is Late Diagnosis, New Clarity, and um she talked about the possibility of her having ADHD. And when I did the interview with her, she was very poised, she was very collected and calm, and I felt myself mirroring her. And it was quite interesting because as we had our discussion, and I can't remember if it was part of the episode, but she kept asking me, Are you sure you don't have ADHD? And I was like, Oh yeah, there's no way. Like, I am way too, like, I'm way too this, that, and like I was just like, there's no way. Like, and I've even jokingly said it to like, you know, my husband, and he's just like, no, because he definitely has like ADHD with OCD tendencies and certain things, you know, and we're older, and I mean I just turned 40, so I'm not like that old. He's older than me, and it was like those types of things weren't really getting diagnosed um when when we were kids, and when I was around that age where people started getting diagnosed, they just handed you a box or a jar of Ritalin, whatever it was, and you know, hoped that it would help. And I was like, I don't need that. But as I've been discovering and figuring out, there's a possibility that I do have ADHD. Strong possibility. Um, I found this amazing page, and it's I've been sharing tons of ADHD reels and things like that, and these this couple, they're over in the UK, and they have a page ADHD underscore love underscore, and it's this couple, and they go through these things, and there was one that absolutely um hit with me. Um, it was and this was just in the last couple of weeks, and I was like, oh my gosh, that is totally me. I mean, there's other ones that I've looked at that I'm like, yeah, those are totally me, but that could just be like a normal thing. But the biggest one has to do with their app, and it's called the W app, and it's uh spelled for those of you that are interested, that maybe have ADHD and want to give something a try. Um, it's spelled D as in dog, U as umbrella, B as in Bravo, B as in Bravo, I as in igloo, I as in igloo, um, the W app. And what it does is it helps you go through just tasks, um, daily tasks. So whatever that could be cleaning, dishes, laundry, admin, um, just simple stuff. Like, there's even some for like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, like just normal everyday things. And so there was a video that they did that was about it was because the wife for sure has ADHD. And anyway, so I've related to some of the things that she has said in her videos and different things, and I'm like, oh my gosh, that's totally me. And I'm like, oh, that's totally my husband, like some of these are his. But when I had talked to Natalie, a lot of the things when girls grow up, or we have grown up, um, back in the day, is the way that women and girls were treated was that we needed to be, I guess, reverent. Um, we needed to be quiet, we needed to be certain ways. And so, you know, I didn't, I mean, I acted out a little bit, but not really. I was very much a rule follower. Um, I I like structure, I like rules, I like, and I think that's because the way my brain processes things. Like I loved school, I loved, I loved elementary school, middle school, high school, eh, I liked it, but like, you know, there's less structure. I hated college. And I believe I hated college, university is because there wasn't as much structure. And I don't like that. I do like to be in charge, and I like to be in charge of things and build structure, but I that was part of the reason why I didn't like college, is there's not as much structure, there's not as much camaraderie amongst, you know, like I love going to the football games with my friends because that was something we could do as a community. I love being involved in things and being part of a community, but I didn't like having to, you know, go to classes and there were certain things about it that I didn't like, and it was because there wasn't structure, and my brain has to have structure. Um anywho, um, so what I'm getting at is this video that came up was the wife, and I'm not a hundred percent sure of her name. I I probably can't think about it. Anyway, it's her sitting on her couch, basically rocking back and forth, like sitting on her hands, going, I need to clean, I need to clean, and having all these thoughts go through her brain. And I was watching this happen, and this is so dumb that like this totally hit with me. But I've done this like every morning for weeks. Um, after Christmas, my house has in like the main living areas, like around our couch and our table and different areas, like has just turned into an absolute chaos, like just insane, because the kids, you know, are playing with their new stuff and they got candy and this, that, and the other, and it's just everywhere. And I sit there on my couch and I watch and I see it and I watch it, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to get up and clean, and then I start thinking about all the things that I need to do in order to clean, and I get so overwhelmed that I get into like a frozen state and I can't do it, which is so weird because like I was me and my sister-in-law used to clean Airbnbs for like a little bit of a time before co it was before COVID, right when COVID was starting, and then the guy that was doing the Airbnbs that we were working for, he ended up selling some of the properties and then not renting out others because people weren't traveling. Anyway, so like I was a professional cleaner, you could say, for a little while. And my mom and my grandma have taught me, like, my grandparents on my mom's side, they owned properties that they would rent out, and occasionally they would have us go and clean, which oh my gosh, some of the disgusting stuff that I saw at some of these properties when people would move out or get evicted or whatever, I don't know, was pretty disgusting. Um, anyway, and so I've I've I I know how to clean when I want to clean, but I don't want to clean. Nobody really wants to clean. I mean, hooray for you if you love to clean. I hate it. It's the bane of my existence. And I know how to do it, and I can do it well when I want to, but for whatever reason, I lately I have been absolutely frozen in something and not being able to clean. Like I'll do dishes and I'll do laundry, and like if there's big things, like I'll pick them up and move them and things like that, but like just a lot of little things that just get left around that I tell my kids a thousand times to pick up and clean up, and they won't do it, and they forget and they get distracted and whatever, and we're too busy because we're going here and there and everywhere. And then by the time it comes, you know, time to clean stuff, like I'm exhausted because it's 10 o'clock at night, and I'm like, I just want to go to bed, I'm exhausted. Anyway, so I saw this video, this reel, and I was like, that is so me. I have figured out that I probably have some sort of like I have ADHD. Where on the spectrum of it, I don't know. I don't go to doctors unless I absolutely have to. So I'm not, I'm I'm self-diagnosing myself with ADHD. So for those of you that have been diagnosed with it, you can you can go through it. But I have a cricket, I have an obsession with Harry Potter and other like trilogies and things like that. I I embroider, I let's see, um, I get on all the fads. So like uh card games, if there's certain card games or board games that are going on, I'm like, I'm all over it for about two, three weeks, and then I'm done with it. Um, I get really excited about something and then it wears off. Um, where I know that that is a thing for ADHD's. So I've I've got the cricket, I've got, you know, like I said, I've done my embroidery. I I wanted to start like drawing and sketching. Don't know where that came from. My dad's an artist, so maybe that was it. You guys have heard me say that I want to write a pilot or a book, which I still do, like, and I'm still really excited about those projects, but like I I'm literally sitting there going, This is literally like the reels and the memes that I have seen, like I'm that person. And you know, because I wasn't always like super out, I I don't know, like bouncing off the walls. Like, I have friends that were like super high energy, and you know, they probably were can you know, were have ADHD, that type of a thing, but they're hyperactive for sure. Now, when I think about it, I was very structured in the fact that I did multiple forms of dance. I did multiple sports growing up, I had piano lessons, like I did tons of things that I could do multiple things at the same time, I could remember certain things where I think what is considered a neurotypical brain has a harder time being able to do that. Like I was on like six dance teams at one point. I was on a ballroom team, I was on two clogging teams, I'm pretty sure I was on at least one or two jazz teams. Um, so maybe only like four or five. But I was on multiple dance teams, and I would go from you know, class to class, and I could remember all the things and the music and things like that. And when I think about it, I'm like, oh my gosh, like could a neurotypical brain actually be able to remember and do all of those things? I don't know. And maybe they can. I'm not saying that every person that's doing that has ADHD is that, but I for the number of things that I had to memorize, like, you know, I like I procrastinate like crazy. I can't do, I couldn't do book reports or projects until the night before. Even if I knew and I was like, oh my gosh, yeah, I need to get all this stuff. I'm gonna get ahead of the game, I'm gonna get it done early. Boom, midnight the night before. Yes, let's crack this out. I'm gonna do my best work. That is literally how my brain works, and it's absolutely insane. Um, I also saw this other reel that I kind of laughed about was another cleaning video, uh, sort of. Um, and it was a guy and his friend, or you know, it could have been himself calling himself, pretending to be somebody else. You know, you see that a lot in reels and things, and it was um a friend calling a guy that was like, Hey, I'm gonna come over. And he was like, Oh my gosh. And so he was like sitting there at home on his couch watching TV or something like that. And then his friend calls, like, I don't know, an hour later and was like, Hey, I'm not coming over, and he's like, What are you talking about? And he's like, Well, you know, you told me to call you once a week to tell you I was coming over so that way you would clean. Because if you know that somebody is coming over, you urgently clean. And that is kind of how I am. If I know people aren't going to come into my house, sometimes I won't clean. I'm just like, uh, you know, like that's kind of what happens, and it's like this super overwhelming thing because I like to have things clean and orderly and whatever, but I also don't. Um, I also love piles, doom piles um is one of the things that this couple on the ADHD love. Um doom piles. I put mail, junk mail, stuff that could go straight into the garbage can in piles. Um I have been able to like get rid of some of those, but then they start all over again. And I'm like, why do I do this to myself? I don't need this, I don't need that. Some of it is like identity theft, like crisis going through my brain that I'm like, if I only throw it away, you know, my shredder might not be working. Like, even if I rip it up, is some like this is the irrational thought that goes through my brain, is I'm like, oh, if I wait long enough to throw it away, then like the code or whatever that might be in this junk mail will finally expire and then they can't steal my identity. That is what goes through my brain. Does anybody else have that thought? Because I certainly do. Okay, like I said, this episode is gonna be all over the place because it is not structured at all. Um, but this is just something that I'm figuring out about myself that I'm like, there's a pretty high chance that I have ADHD. And this is why, like, when I go and work for companies or jobs, um, after so long, like I get bored because it's not challenging anymore. Um, because neurodivergent minds are really good at spotting patterns and finding things. Like, I love like yesterday at work, I found something that like my boss came in and was like, hey, here's this thing. Um, can you look at this? And like we need to fix this and blah blah blah. And I went, oh no, we can't do that because you know, I went here and I went there and I found this, and that credit has already been used, and we can't use that credit again because we used it on this bill, and so blah, blah, blah. And I don't know if the other people that could have looked it up would have known the exact same thing. I don't know if they would have been able to find out that we already used this credit because certain notation wasn't on there, but I was like, no, I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna look and I'm gonna make sure and I'm gonna see. Maybe they would have, like, I don't know. But anyway, so I was like, no, like, so when I find little things like that where I'm like, hey, I found something that maybe they don't know about. And that's one of the things that I love about certain jobs is like being able to find things that like maybe regular people wouldn't be able to find out. I love working in um uh accounts payable, receivable because I find the discrepancies and I'm like, hey, this person didn't pay this amount, you know, why? Either I can find it on my own or have to call them and be like, hey, why didn't you pay this? But or you know, why did you shortchange us type of a thing and try and get clarification? But sometimes I like to be able to find it myself and be like, oh, they didn't pay this because look, we sent them a bill for this amount and then it got changed later and blah blah blah. So they paid it off of the first one instead of the revised one. Anyway, so that is where my brain goes. Does your brain do that? Or are you just like they paid it, they shortpaid it, we'll call them and say, hey, you still owe us this amount? Like, are you gonna look into the small little details and be like, but why did they do that? Why didn't they do that? That is how my brain works. I don't understand it, I don't, I don't get it. Um, but I love I don't want to say fads and trends, but like if you look at my Kindle history, my Audible history, my bookshelf from when I actually own books, I love a good series. I love series, and I I'm sure a lot of people love series. I do love a good standalone as well, but I will find an author that I love and I will read or listen to all of their books because I love their style of writing. Or um there is um some what are they limited series on Netflix um by the author. He writes, I think they're based off of books that they've turned into TV series. Um, and his name is Harlan Coben, I think. And I like his stuff because I can't guess the ending. Like, I will know the the outcome of the show I'm watching within like usually the first 15 minutes. If not sooner, I'll be like, oh, that person did it, you know. Like jet m Justice and I were watching a video last night where um we stopped watching it because it wasn't very good, but um he asked me, he's like, So who do you think did it? And I said, Oh, it's that guy right there. I said, It has to be somebody to do with this guy. Otherwise, why on earth would they have shown him in the first five minutes of the movie? Because they haven't talked about him ever since. Like, I mean, they've mentioned, you know, certain things, but I'm like, yeah, that has to be it. And now I'm like, even though the movie was like, it wasn't really doing it for us, like it wasn't picking up speed, it was kind of boring. Anyway, I will now be going and watching the ending of that movie by myself to figure out if we were right or not. Justice is not interested at all. I will find out the answer and then I will tell him, and he'll be like, oh, okay, like that's what we thought or whatever. And anyway, so that is how I am. Like, I I love being able to find figure out and find out going when I'm watching like documentaries or different things, um dramas, trying to figure out what the answer is and the question hasn't even been asked. I'll be like, oh, this is where I think the story is gonna go. That is how my brain works. Does everybody else's brain work like that? Raise your hand, please tell me. Like, comment on Spotify wherever you can comment. Like, let me know, is your brain, does your brain do the same thing as mine? Because that's how my brain operates. And I don't know if that's normal. I have no idea. Um, if it's not, it's fine. Um I I I'm just like super curious, but again, like I don't want to go see a doctor because what are they gonna do? I don't want anything. I'm perfectly fine the way that I am. Um so I don't necessarily uh need a diagnosis of anything, like because it's made me who I am today, and I've lived 40 years this way, so why would I change it if that is actually the case? Um super scatter brained. I I am super scatter brained, I'm always late. My friend Alex has told me that when we're having dinner, that she will tell me a time earlier than usual because they all know I'm going to be late. That is my life. Okay. So, like, my job right now, I don't actually have set hours. They do have a block amount of hours that they would like me to work every day, which is like three to four hours as long as I get my work done. When I first started, I was maybe getting in two hours a day because I was completing the work so fast. Like, I would get in there, I'd get it done, and then I'd be like, I'm finished. Like, what am I doing here? Like, can I leave? Like, I don't have anything else to do right now. Eventually, they started giving me more and more work. And so now I have a lot of work. And some of it is really boring, and I can't do it. So I'm really excited to try this WM with some of the admin stuff that I avoid doing, which is filing. Okay. When I was younger, I used to file. Like that was my job, was just alphabetizing and filing. I think they were invoices from I don't know who they were from, but I used to have to file file the stuff in case a claims worker or whoever it was had to come and get the they had to look at something. Anyway, so there was stuff that I used to file. I don't remember what they were, but anyway. Alphabetation alpha oh my gosh, alphabetizing by last name is like my specialty. Like people, I've I've worked in pharmaceutical billing, auto claims billing, different things, like knowing how to spell last. Like somebody asked me, they were like, Do you know this person? And their last name was kind of a little bit weird. And I'm picturing it in my brain, and I'm going, Is this how you spell the last name? And they're like, Yeah. I'm like, I don't know that person, but I know how to spell their last name. Like, that is how stupid I am. Oh my gosh, you guys. So that has been me figuring myself out lately, is that I'm realizing that even though people have been like, yeah, you don't have ADHD, or I'm like, I'm not hyperactive, like, because I will go upstairs and I will just sit there, but I will binge an entire series because I have to know how it ends. Um, I will avoid things at all costs until like the last moment because I thrive off of that adrenaline, like having like which is part of ADHD. Like, I don't get that bump of whatever you need to have done. Okay. So let me catch my breath. I'm like excited to talk about this, but also like I'm okay. So yesterday, this is what I'm here to talk about. Um, part of it um is so I did a free trial on the W app. And what it does is there's different things that you can do on the W app. And this is I'm in no way sponsored, affiliated with the W app, but if they want me, if they want to be a sponsor of the podcast, go right ahead. If you guys want to give me a free subscription for your app, like to promote, I totally will. Okay. Um, anyway, so I went on their app yesterday, so I had taken the kids to school, and I was like high on life for some reason. I was like, yes, I want to accomplish something, and I'm like, I'm gonna try this app because I can do like a free one-time task trial. So I went on their app and I found the activity that I wanted or the task that I wanted to accomplish, which was um, I think I did uh cleaning the lounge. So again, they're in the UK, so like for me, this is like the family room or living room. Um they they do this thing, like one of the things that helps people is body doubling, which is like I don't want to say mirroring, but I will I will mirror people. So um, I'm gonna go off on a tangent because that's the way my brain works, is um one of the things like that was in a video. I can't remember if I shared it or reposted it, but it was um one of the things was she was on the phone with a friend and she was using her her polite voice, her very nice voice. I have a customer service voice that I use. And if you guys notice that my voice changed, and that is because I will mimic or mirror or change the way that I think I'm I should be talking to people, like using a different, like I'm like, I can kill them so so much with my freaking uh customer service voice that they will just absolutely love me because of the way that I talk, and because it's not the way that I normally talk, and it's not my normal voice that I use, it's my customer service voice. And anyway, so back to cleaning the lounge. I clicked on cleaning the lounge, and it's my free task that I did yesterday, and it gives you like options of um it gives you options of breaking it down with rich or rocks. So um, and I did I guess I did it with follow rich and I did it with focus music, body doubling with focus music, and there's another one that's like break down, follow along with rich, and it and I think it goes like step by step. I haven't done that because that is not how I work. I do everything with music, which again dance, huge part of my life. So, like when I would study, I would remember things because I would listen to music and I would read at the same time, and that triggers a specific memory for me, or like I'll have something on in the background and I'll be like, I was watching this movie and I was reading this, and then I can see the passage or whatever. Like, that is how I used to study and remember things. I can't do it now. I mean, like, I can't like listen to a song and be like, what did I read when I was in eighth grade when I listened to this song? Can't do that, but anyway, so I did bodily body doubling with Rich, apparently, um, and with focus music. And the music that I used was let's see if we can hear it. Um so I chose there is no sound, there's chill, calm, epic, and swing. So I chose swing. So let's go with swing. Okay, so that is the music that I listened to for an hour and a half. I cleaned for 90 minutes, and I just kept replaying the video because I think it's like five or ten minutes long of that music in the video, and it's rich. Um, and the other one would be rocks, um, but it was rich, like folding blankets and like picking stuff up and putting it away and everything like that. So somebody is actively doing something that you're doing, and anyway, so it's encouraging to do it too. So I cleaned for 90 minutes yesterday. I haven't been able to clean for more than like 10 minutes, like doing dishes or laundry in months. Like, honestly, months, like usually justice justice is usually the one that keeps things clean, but since I pretty sure I've said on here before that he had pneumonia and he's still not like fully energized from that, like he's been going back and forth. If anybody is actually a doctor and wants to come over here and um help him get better, that would be great. Um anyway, but he just has this lingering cough that like if he could actually just heal, like it'd be great. His lungs would get back to, you know, be back to normal, but unfortunately that's not really happening. Anyway, so justice is usually the one that would like clean stuff, but because he got sick, like it's kind of fallen on me. And like I said, I hate to clean. So the house has gotten into disrepair because I'm the one that has to be in charge of it. Um, so yesterday I was like really excited. I'm like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this thing, and it's gonna be great. And I actually felt amazing. So thank you, Rich and Rox, because the W app really helped me, and I will be getting a subscription soon. Um, because I was like, this is what I want to be able to do. Now, the other great thing about this app, and I'm sure you guys are like, why are you plugging this app? Well, this is something that helped me in a little tiny way that actually made my day absolutely amazing yesterday that I want to share it. Um one of the other things that they do with the app is live body doubling. So, what they do, it's basically like a Zoom call with people who are just doing tasks. So they have multiple ones throughout the day, so it doesn't matter where you are in the world, um, they are able, you're able to link together and like it's basically people on a live cam, like because you've got your phone or whatever, and you're like people are doing the dishes, people are folding laundry, people are running errands, people are doing, they're just sitting at work and they're working because somebody, like all these people, and it's not like people are just sitting there watching each other, like it's just kind of holding yourselves accountable, and then there is like somebody who is running the session from Wand they like encourage you um throughout throughout the session. So I don't know, like a Peloton instructor, but they're not actually telling you like what to do, they're just giving you feedback, like positive feedback. Like, I don't know, it comes to mind great job, keep working, keep doing it, like you're doing great. And I don't know how long these sessions last. I don't know if they're 60 minutes, 30 minutes, I have no idea. I mean, and I'm assuming that you can be on it as long as you want. Like, if you've completed your task, you could probably jump out of it or whatever. Um, you get a phone call, obviously, you could take the phone call type of a thing. But anyway, so I'm really excited to be able to try that because I'm like, I need to find something that works for me. And this is something different, something I have never ever heard of until this past week, and I am super excited to share it. Now, again, my brain latches on to things that are like fun, okay, and they might only last for a little while. But this I think is something that I could do often. Um, yeah, like I hate folding clothes, so oh my gosh, I shared one of their videos and it was so hilarious. And it was her rocks, was doing a um, she was basically hanging like pictures on a wall. And Rich was like, I thought you were going to fold socks, and she's like, No, that's boring. Like, I'm gonna do this wall because it's basically like more engaging, it's harder, it's more challenging than folding socks. And so he was like, at the end of it, he was like, Well, what if we um make it a I mean he didn't say what if we make it a competition, but he was basically like, Okay, well, why don't we go upstairs and see who can fold the most pairs of socks in the shortest amount of time? I don't know. And she's like, Yeah. And he's like, Well, don't you want to finish the wall? And she's like, No, now I want to go play this game. Like, so when you want to do certain things with people with ADHD, like if this is why I'm so competitive, like I'm honestly, this is why me and Justice are so competitive and other family members are not, because we both have ADHD. And so, like, competing like at at board at Uno, at board games, at things, like we want to dominate because that is just a part of our brain. Like, it's the challenge of it, like it's challenging, and I want to figure out how to do the do this, and I want to figure out a way to beat you at your at the same game that you're playing. Anyway, like that is just how our brains work. And maybe it's the ADHD part of our brain. Now, the other thing that I have to talk about, which my husband and I have slightly mentioned, is um so it was a a brief topic that um we talked to each other about because um our families, our families are very similar in the fact that our dads, okay, our parents are boomers, okay, and he's Gen X. I'm a Xennial. Like I actually identify more with Gen X than I do millennials. I'm an elder millennial. I guess like there was a change, and then I became a millennial when I should have actually, I think, still been part of Gen X. Whatever. It doesn't matter. I don't identify as a millennial, I identify as an elder millennial or a xennial, which is spelled with an X. Um, anyway. So both of our parents, sets of our parents are boomers, and our dads are extremely structured. Like they both have daily routines that they both follow, like uh just certain things, okay? And we were just like, yes, this is how their brains work, this is how they are. Our moms were pretty sure they both have ADHD and they didn't know it. Like, um, so I get my Doom piles from my mom. So this is what I saw as a child, and I haven't a hundred percent done this. I actually often leave my piles visible because I don't let anybody come over to my house. But what I had growing up was like the counters needed to be cleaned off or whatever in the kitchen, and we had in the house that I spent most of my life in that my parents are still in, they remodeled it, but still they had a ton of counter space. They had like this little tech desk, and my mom's computer was there, and um anyway, so anyway, certain things would happen and piles would happen, and then the piles would go into a bag or a box. Now, I unfortunately have inherited that trait. I'm not at the extent that my mom is at because my mom bless her soul. Um this is another reel that I saw, not by the same people, this is different people, but it was basically these women that were like, I'm going through my inheritance, and it's like a room of doom, and it's just like a bunch of old crap that's just piled into her room. And for those of you that know my mom and have ever been over to my parents' house and have ever seen the room of doom, it's been there forever. It was supposed to be her sewing room. They put some, they installed some cabinets in there, and the only thing that was missing, and I don't know if it ever got done, and I don't know if it ever will be done ever, was that they needed to get like a countertop on there, um, on top of the bottom cabinets, and I don't know if the countertop ever actually made it. So they had these um, they had I think there were some above cabinets and below cabinets, and the below cabinets were supposed to have like a countertop of some sort on top of it so that way she could craft and put it like her sewing machine and whatever in there, and have her little craft room, which I would have absolutely loved. Um, and then it just turned into chaos. So um let's talk about all the unfinished projects that ADHDers have. Um raising my hand over here. How many embroidery things have I started that I have never finished? I also don't know how to actually finish embroidery projects, like as far as like my mom used to help me make them into pillows for my friends. Um, I really want to be able to actually hang like the little loops that they come in. Um figure out how to do that. Would love to be able to do that, um, just like mini ones. Um, anywho. Um, but funny story about my mother. She used to be in charge of a a young women's group that um was part of our neighborhood and church. Um, and when these women were graduating and, you know, uh, you know, graduating high school, I don't know if it was when they were actually graduating high school or when they were getting married. I can't remember, but it was, you know, within like a five, ten-year period of their lives, graduating high school from turning 18. Anyway, so they would make these quilts. And my mom knows how to quilt and she knows how to, I don't know, finish the quilt in a way, like close off the ends, because you go in, like what they would do is as a group, we would go and tie um not ribbon, whatever the crap is, um, yarn, and you know, we would go through and we would tie yarn in little places on the on the blanket, and then we needed the ends to be closed off. My mom has at least three or four of those in the Doom Room somewhere. Um, my wedding dress is in the Doom Room, I think. I'm that's where it last was the last time I saw it. It was in the Doom Room. Um, my grandma's wigs, so my mom's mom. The story I got, which I am also learning, I really don't know a lot about my grandma. Like, I hear these little stories, like apparently she meant um what is the boxer's name? Um, I can't even think of it. Anyway, um Will Smith played him in a movie, but whatever his name was. Um, my mom apparently met him before he was the boxer name, um, whatever his previous name was. Anywho, doesn't matter, tangent. The story I got was that my grandma's hair like got caught on fire at some point. No idea. I I don't know. All I know is that when she when I would see her without her wigs on, she would have like little tiny patches of gray hair, but like it couldn't grow very much, so I don't I don't know the actual story. Again, no idea, have have no idea if this is true or not. Anyway, so I always knew her wearing wigs. Um, we would go to her wig store, get her wigs done and picked up and whatever. Anyway, my mom has some of her old wigs in that room. They've been in there since my grandma passed away, which was back in 2004, so about 20 years ago, 21 years ago. So it has been a while. Um, they're in there. My wedding dress, like I said, I think my wedding dress is in there. Um, the Doom Room at one point, like I was like, yeah, I want to go in there and I want to be able to get because um she has uh just like fabric in there. I don't know, she's not like a huge quilter, so like I don't see her like patching together pieces of fabric to like patch quilt. I don't see that happening with her, but um anyways, so I was like, I'm gonna come in there and I'm gonna get some of your old um fabric and I'm gonna try and sell it online because obviously these patterns are out of date. Maybe people want that same fabric, whatever. Who knows? I can't even open the door to the doom room anymore. Like I can barely open the door. Guys, this is what I have inherited from my mother. I am so afraid that that is going to happen to me that I have literally started panicking lately that I'm gonna end up with like a doom room, and I'm like, I can't let that happen. I don't think my husband will let me have have that happen. Um, I don't have any rooms in the house to let that happen either. We are literally packed to the brims in our house because of interest rates and all that gloriousness of not being able to move or be able to afford something bigger. Yay! Anyway, so okay, that is what I've been figuring out about myself lately, is I probably do have ADHD. And I'm trying to figure out like certain things that I do that are habits, I guess you could say, like that I'm trying to break now because they're not productive. And what I can do about that. So also about that, I love podcasting, I love interviewing people. I hate editing, but I can't afford to pay somebody to edit my episodes. So I have multiple episodes that I have not released on this podcast and my other one because I don't like the back-end stuff. So that is something that I need to figure out and I need to be able to accomplish, which again, I'm hoping the W app will be able to help me because if I can body double with people and being able to like, you know, hold myself accountable a little bit more with these strangers, because I'm not gonna know any of these people most likely, unless you guys all get on the app as well. I'm literally like kind of excited about this. Like, so I will let you know how this goes in, I don't know, a month or two, whenever I but I am excited because after I finished cleaning yesterday, I gave myself an applause. I was so happy and I felt so accomplished. Like I clapped for myself, I curtsied to myself, I bowed. I was just like, you did it, like you actually accomplished something that you haven't been able to do in two months. Like that is that is how I felt about myself. I was so happy and so excited. So thank you, Debbie. Thank you, Rich and Rocks. I loved that that feeling. It felt great. I want to. Keep that going. So again, I'm gonna try and uh get a membership. Um, I think the year-long membership is only like$35,$36. So I'm like, yeah, that's really not that much because it's like uh three, four dollars a month, um, honestly. And I'm like, if they can help me like maintain my household, it's better than me trying to hire a cleaner because I can do it. I know I can do it. I don't need to hire a cleaner. I I would never probably never hire a cleaner unless like I wanted them to come like deep clean, and I really didn't have the time or ability to do it at the time, you know. Um anyway, but that's just that's just where life has been. So I'm really excited about this app. I'm really excited that I have a little bit more motivation and I'm trying to get more of these episodes out. So the interviews that I have done, for those of you that are the person I interviewed, I am going to edit them and I'm going to get them out. Like I promise, I will. Um, it might be later than I had originally said, and I do apologize about that, but I literally am figuring out that that is not how my brain works. And so, like, our conversations have been amazing and great and engaging, and I love that is something else that I absolutely love is being able to talk to all these people. And then when I get to the editing process, it's very tedious and time consuming. And I'm also a perfectionist when it comes to editing these episodes, that it becomes extremely difficult. And that is another reason why I put them off, is because I'm like, do I have the time to be able to actually edit these for as long as and as perfect as I want them to be? So that is the cross I bear with that. So I apologize to those of you that I have done interviews with. If you're listening to this, I hope you are. I will get your episodes out. Um, I'm gonna try for you guys to get like maybe a couple of them out a week to try and catch up because I have missed a few weeks where I should have been releasing interview episodes and I haven't been. Now, the Friday episodes where I was gonna do like pop culture stuff. Um, the stuff with the Beckhams kind of happened when I was watching the Victoria Beckham documentary and was like, yes, this is great. And so there's some people that are like, oh my gosh, the Beckhams are the worst, and this and that. And I'm like, so I kind of wanted to like not finish that. So I like I said when I when I did the first episode, if you listen to that, um, about my breakdown of uh the first episode, I can't remember if I actually did the second episode or not. Um, but it does relate to women in their mid in their midlife. So go watch that if you want. If you're turned off by the scandal and crap that's been going on with their son that they've basically disowned, um, then don't go watch it if you don't want to help them. And you know, like even if you don't like them, there is still like an undertone message of like women our age can still do and accomplish things. And um, so that was kind of what I got out of the entire documentary. You can go watch it and see it. It's beautiful, it's gorgeous. There's um a lot of people that you would recognize in it. Um, it was really interesting to see um what happened with with the fashion show um and how that ended up. Um, so yeah, go and watch that. Um, I also really love David Beckham's documentary. If you're a football fan, soccer fan, that was really interesting and love to watch um and hear some of the stories and backstories of things that maybe you didn't know. So I wa I've watched both. So it's really interesting to see how they mesh well together. Um okay, so that is kind of where I've been. Um I've also traveled a couple of times for sports with my kids. So my daughter, my oldest daughter, went to a tournament in Phoenix. Um, and so I was gone for several days with that, with her. And then um my younger daughters went to it, it was still a travel tournament um here in Utah, but it was in the southern part of our state in St. George, and so I went down there for a few days and they totally got screwed. Oh, I'm so mad about that. Their team, um, whatever, it is what it is, but these poor little girls had two games and they killed both of them. Um, they won their first game 7-0 and they won their second game 6-2. The third game they were supposed to play um ended up going to a shootout or penalty kicks. And for those of you that are not familiar with soccer or rules, it's basically just taking a one-touch shot and whichever team um gets the most out of so many, like then they win. And so they didn't play a game at all. And had we played that team, we would have not lost. We might not have for sure won. I think that they could have, based on how they were playing. But they ended up losing in the penalty kicks, which was disappointing. But because of the way the rules were in the tournament, um, our team did not advance. A team that had a win and a tie got to move on because they won their penalty kicks, which gave them two wins and a tie. And we had two losses or two wins and a loss, which I did argue with the tournament director about how unfair this was because he's forcing an outcome in a game that did not require a winner or a loser. I said, I didn't even have the opportunity to tie. Anyway, I was really upset because I felt like the girls deserved to be there. I'm not gonna take it away from the other team that ended up moving on. Um, they did end up losing, they got killed 5-0, but I think that my girls deserve to be there, and I was really upset, but I was super proud of the way that they had played and things like that. So I am the coach of that team, so I was super invested in the outcome, obviously. But it just sucks because that was a bad situation, wasn't super. Um sorry, I just got a text message. Um, anyway, so oh my gosh, you guys, I opened my phone for a specific reason and then I just put it down because I saw a text message and was like, oh. I am so sorry. I'm like talking so much that my throat is dry and I didn't bring a drink with me. Alright, so that is my honest update. No tidy bow, no five-step framework, just real life and it's as it's unfolding. If any part of this resonated with you, if you're also in this weird in-between growing season or figuring it out phase, I hope you feel less alone. If you enjoyed this more casual catch-up style of an episode, also let me know. Send me a message, share it with a friend, or leave a review. It truly helps the space grow and helps more women find these conversations. And as always, this is 40-ish and figuring out. We're not behind, we're not late, we're just evolving. I'll talk to you soon. Have a great day. 40-ish and Figuring It Out is produced and edited by me, Katie Collicker. Sound mixing, also me. We're a very efficient one-woman show over here. The music for this episode was created using the Suno app. Special thanks to Suno for providing licensed royalty-free music through their platform. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode.