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Midwest Besties
Carl’s a Mess! The Aftermath of the Summer House Scandal
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Carl’s a mess, and so are we! In this week’s pop culture Pot Luck, the besties discuss the aftermath of the Summer House Scamanda (™). Emily explains the latest Lindy West memoir, Adult Braces, and the besties break down Belle Burden’s recently released book, Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage. In table scraps, we touch on Ina Garten and how Meghan Markle straight up copies her, the latest Sussex missteps, Real Housewives of Rhode Island, and The Valley premiere. Pull up a chair because this is a big ol’ meal!
Summer House Scamanda
SPEAKER_08I'm Lauren and I'm Emily. And we're Midwest besties.
SPEAKER_02It's just a lot to take in. Again, it just it's not just me and uh Wesia. It's like our whole friend group. I mean, Carl's a mess. Carl's a mess. Carl's a mess.
SPEAKER_07Hello, everybody. Welcome to the pond. Welcome back. Um it has been, let's see, there's a lot to unpack still about Summerhouse. The aftermath. We left you.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, Summerhouse Semicolon. The aftermath.
SPEAKER_07The aftermath of what are we calling it? Scamanda. I've seen Scamanda.
SPEAKER_08I've seen Scamandal.
SPEAKER_07Westmandeval. I think Scamanda is the one that is gonna stick. Kyle did, if you haven't watched, he did this like three-part on the street interview with his creator Adam Glenn, where he was literally just like spilling the tea.
SPEAKER_08He does these like weird, I called them like street podcasts.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I mean that's what it was.
SPEAKER_08Because it's very planned. Yeah, a hundred percent. He doesn't even like try that hard to make it nap planned, but he's still like walking his dog. His poor dog, like literally on points, like takes a shit on the sidewalk because they're talking for so long.
SPEAKER_07It was really funny though, Kaiser. Welcome to New Media. This is how we get our news now.
SPEAKER_02It's just a lot to take in. It's not just me, Amanda, Lesia. It's like our whole friend group. I mean, Carl's a mess. It really does put into jeopardy what the show's about. Because like you can't shoot somewhere else if the vibes are off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you go in?
SPEAKER_07Are you gonna go? He really has a lot of smoke for West. Like, he's more he's concerned about Amanda. He's like worried about her mental health. It sounds to me like Amanda, this was a situation shift that she has blown up her entire life over, and West is just like, it's he does not care.
SPEAKER_08I wouldn't really define us as like a relationship. Right, right. Right. Um, it is so you never, if you think you know Kyle Cook, you do not know Kyle Cook. Um, because I'm not surprised to see him completely defend Amanda, completely put his own, I guess, quote unquote, betrayal aside. Um and my take is that I think maybe Amanda and Kyle have been kind of cheating on each other their whole marriage.
SPEAKER_07Well, I mean, I definitely think Kyle was cheating on Amanda. Yeah. Like, I don't have really any doubts about that. I never really thought she was cheating on him, but now people are really digging into the archives. They are. And it doesn't look great for her when you put this this new lens on, especially this past season and the season before with West. And I don't know if any maybe some nothing physical was happening with West, but I think there was probably like a it was an inappropriate relationship. Agree. Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_08Especially with all the time that you have been spending off camera. Yes. Um, again, I don't think it was ever serious, but it was, I think it was I would never have a relationship like that.
SPEAKER_07No, correct. Exactly. Same. I would be upset if Matt had a relationship like that. Yeah. Um, but in the midst of this like street podcast that he's giving, he's talking kind of about the group and the whole cast, and he's like, you know, and Carl's a mess. And it just like became an instant meme, and everybody was like, Why are we worried about Carl? And it was just so funny. It was like everywhere, it was like Carl's a mess. Like Carl's a mess. Carl got in on the joke and was sharing like funny memes to his story.
SPEAKER_08Carl and Lindsay reunited.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god, that made me so happy. We're building bridges. We're building bridges here.
SPEAKER_08Like the the you know, hold your loved ones tight. Yes, hold down to your true friends, and even if your true friend is your ex-fiance that you fucking hate.
SPEAKER_07But like he's the only person who can, he's one of the very few people in the world who can understand what you're going through right now. The betrayal. So they did an Uber Eats ad together, and it was so funny of like Carl's a mess, he was a mess, and and Lindsay was comforting him. So it was great. Um, and then Loverboy came out with Carl's a mess merch. They're selling out of stuff, so it's like, oh my god, is this scandal gonna save Loverboy?
SPEAKER_08Which is so funny to think about. Like Amanda is supposed to be in charge of the merch. I'm assuming she's not doing any of this merch. No, so it's it's bizarre, but she has been spending like this past season really separating herself from Loverboy, um, mostly because it's a sinking ship. Um, I feel like the ultimate betrayal as a Bravo liberty is if you affect someone's payday. Totally. And I do believe Amanda and West have done that. I think so that's the ultimate betrayal.
SPEAKER_07Yes, I think so. There's just a lot on the line with now, like how Summer House is gonna play out and their new show, The City. But they are having some very real repercussions. Amanda's Edie Park um collab dropped the same day that she dropped statements with West, which was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life. And so Edie Park took down her collab and like replaced it with a new model. There were a lot of kind of mixed reactions to this where it was like, this isn't fair, like you didn't need to do this. Um, other people were like, hell yeah, girl, like Edie Park's girl's girl. I fall in, like when you are a reality star, you are trading off on your personality and the life that you live. And so it's like, yeah, I also don't blame Edie Park when they drop this collab the same day as this earth-shattering state.
SPEAKER_081000%. Like as a marketer, I'm not taking a risk for like you're supposed to be showing my shit in a positive light. Right. I'm supposed to be, I'm giving you money to trade off on your good name. If you don't have that good name, you're influenced. I'm not, I'm not doing it. Right. And what's so clear, one thing I just want to be like, where are their publicists? Like, they should have a little calendar where it's like, oh, you can't post this joint statement. Woof. Oh my god. Because it's the day of your ED park launch.
SPEAKER_07Right. Like, you wait till the next day. Right. I don't understand why. The next day I think would have been April Fool's, so maybe that's why. But it's like, then you wait two more days. Like, I don't know. It was just so ill planned, which the whole thing, the whole thing is a mess. Um, Paige spoke about it on Giggly Squad. Did you see the clips? No. Yeah. So she did not talk about Amanda. She and Hannah talked about Sierra. She was like, Sierra and I, we're all really close in real life. Um, we've been consoling her, we've been supporting her. Like, she is an amazing person. And Paige was basically like, when the time comes, she was like, I'm not gonna speak for Sierra, and she will have her time where she speaks for herself, and she's able to like speak, tell her story in all of this, um, and kind of left it at that. But it's very clear who where the divide is there.
SPEAKER_08Does not surprise me in any either. It I always assumed that Sierra is closer to Paige and Hannah than Amanda ever was.
SPEAKER_07And Amanda and Hannah had they do not, they're not friends, they had that huge falling out. And I think that was probably really hard for Paige to navigate. Yeah. Um, so you know, Sierra is very close with them. It sounds like a lot of reports are that Sierra called was Paige was one of the first calls that she made. Um, so so that was good to see, you know, Mother Hubbard is mothering. Um, we knew she would be. Yeah, she is activated. Don't activate me because you've not seen me activate it. And she is really coming for West. She um followed him on social media. She's been like all over social media in the comments. Um, she's just doing what she does best. She's a chaos agent, and like we love it.
SPEAKER_08And I do believe the when I say the OGs, I mean Carl, I mean Lindsay, I mean Kyle, and I mean Amanda. Um I do believe the OGs are gonna be with if they're gonna stand for anyone, obviously everyone's standing for Sierra, but uh it definitely seems like they are making West public enemy number one.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, and I do appreciate that because I don't think West is getting enough backlash. Like, not in my home, sweetheart. Like, count your fucking days, West Wilson. Flip it around, wicked witch.
SPEAKER_08Flip it around, wicked witch.
SPEAKER_07We'll have the clip.
SPEAKER_04Just went from MM to WW Wicked Witch. Madam Marble M M. Flip It Around, Wicked Witch.
SPEAKER_06Mm, Wicked Witch. Madame Marble, now known as the Wicked Witch.
SPEAKER_08Um flip it around, Wes Wilson. Madam Marble. Flip it around, Wes Wilson.
SPEAKER_07If you know, you know. Um, so there was this really funny uh like sponsored post that went up about Wes Wilson being like at a boxing match, and Lindsay commented and just said, Is he the bag? Like she's just being really funny. I love it. She teamed up with Kristen Doty, who was in town for Watch What Happens Live. They did a really funny uh little reel that went viral. So she is just like, she is so good at capitalizing on this stuff. Like, she is such a good Bravo liberty. I mean, because she's a PR person. She's a PR person. She's like, I'm gonna get my bag because like I don't know. She's like, I have that this big ass apartment to pay for. I'm a single mom, so like I'm gonna get my check.
SPEAKER_08And my show is and my show is at risk.
SPEAKER_07At risk. Yeah. So I have seen, so like from the Bravo sphere, I'm seeing like from summer house people in general, like they are going after West.
SPEAKER_08Yes.
SPEAKER_07I would say West is they're both like, you know, public enemy number one, but like I would say this the backlash has been stronger and swifter for Amanda. Definitely. And I get it, I understand the expectations of her were higher. Like, we kind of knew who West was. Like, he is like a scummy, like dirtbag. We've also, like, in the aftermath of this, all of these women are coming out and they're like, I've been hooking up with him.
SPEAKER_08I I'm betting like so bad. Sex rehab is is gonna come in. I you called that moments.
SPEAKER_07I it it has to. It's crazy. He is, and he just posted his story like something totally like he was out in indie, probably for. I do not know what the fuck he's doing. No, no, he doesn't. And I just like think he is so gross and run through. Like he is just out here hooking up with every possible woman that he can, and he's manipulative, he's performative. Like he knew. Kyle said in his street podcast, he was like, you know, our confessionals are filmed after the season is aired, or not aired, I'm sorry, after it's like all filmed. So he was like, he knew what he was doing, talking about totally like he knew who he was playing into the audience, specifically women. So it's like, I'm coming for your fucking neck. I am staying on his neck, especially because he's from Missouri. It just like really pisses me off.
SPEAKER_08No, such bad representation.
SPEAKER_07I know him and Sandoval.
SPEAKER_08And it was like, we're rooting for you. We were all rooting for you. Tyra Jeff.
SPEAKER_01Stop it! I have never in my life yelled at a girl like this. But my mother yelled at this, it's because she loves me. I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you. How dare you!
SPEAKER_08Like it 100% was we were here for his redemption. I would say I have never liked a Bravo man more than I liked Wes because he is so funny and charming, but obviously he is a man on a reality TV show. So it's like he uses that charm to be a scumbag.
SPEAKER_07We are midway through this season. We have a half of a season to get through. My heart is not in it. Like I watched the, you know, I will watch the episodes, but like it's all ruined for me, which I'm sure it is for everybody. Yeah. Um, you know, we're all basically waiting for the reunion because that's when we're gonna see what really the aftermath of this.
SPEAKER_08Do you think they are gonna like re-edit any of these episodes?
SPEAKER_07I think that they're going back right now, and they are doing these editors are frantically searching through footage to see what they can put in there. Absolutely, yes.
SPEAKER_08Cause we have a lot of content to get through for this season. I think a lot of big things happened. I think we are going to see Sierra and West get back together. I'm sick. I'm sick. And I think we're going to see Amanda say that her and Ben almost did hook up and that Ben did want to hook up with her. So, did you see like the previews for the upcoming episode where she like apparently went up to Ben's girlfriend and was like, he's in love with me? Yeah. I am genuinely again to echo Kyle, like I am worried for her.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, she is spiraling. Like, I I just like it's really crazy. The reads on her are really, she is not doing well online. Like there's also a racial component to all of this that is looking that I as I am a white woman, so it's like the only person who can speak to that is Sierra, and like I trust and believe however she feels is true and right because I cannot imagine what what that feels, the layer of that on top of this. So, like, there's also that like people are like would like Amanda would never have done this to Paige kind of situation. Um and this idea that like West, it was like if he is going to commit to Amanda, but like he felt he wasn't gonna commit to Sierra that there's some like anti-blackness there.
SPEAKER_08He is not going to commit to Amanda, he's not gonna commit to anybody. He couldn't even commit to her in their fucking joint statement.
SPEAKER_07No, that I can't. So it's just like it's not looking good for her. We were all she was primed for such an amazing post-divorce launch, and she has just fucked herself.
SPEAKER_08It's giving Britney conservatorship. I can't stop thinking about it. Where it's like, get her out, she needs freedom, and then it's like she gets freedom, and it's like, oh shit. Okay, so maybe like conservatorship light. Yeah. Like maybe.
SPEAKER_07Oh no. Oh no, they had a point. They had a point.
SPEAKER_08They had a point.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, it's like it. I also saw some takes that were like, this is, you know, she's so insecure that like she self-sabotage. Yeah. Um, it's it's bad. But anyway, so that's you know, kind of where we're sitting. We don't know anything else. We don't know if they're really together. I I don't think that they are. I don't think that they're together. I don't think they will be together.
SPEAKER_08And I don't think it's like her like heartbroken. I think she just wanted to fuck around and have no responsibility and care about anyone but her.
SPEAKER_07100%. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08I don't think it's I don't think it's deeper than that. I really don't.
SPEAKER_07But it should have been deeper than than that. Because it's an excuse. Yeah. That's totally that's even worse. It's even worse because it was so selfish. Yeah. And you kind of were like, Do we do you you were thinking Kyle and Amanda were gonna maybe get back together? A hundred percent. After that street podcast, I was like, Yeah, I can completely see that.
SPEAKER_08I never really ruled out a reconciliation with them anyway. Like, I just thought they were gonna be like separated forever, like they're never actually gonna get a divorce. That's where I where I thought they would live. Um, and now I think that more than ever.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, we will see in the days to come. But yeah, it's we're getting, you know, there's stuff out there on Reddit, but it, you know, the the cast members are moving things along, mostly Lindsay.
SPEAKER_08So and just to clear things up, it was not a promotion for Buffalo Wild Wings.
SPEAKER_07It was not an April Fool's joke. Uh okay,
Lindy West Just Needed a Wife
SPEAKER_07so moving on from Summer House, um, we have to talk about Lindy West. Emily has to educate me on Lindy West.
SPEAKER_08We are, this is like gonna be a major book for the rest of the podcast, a major book episode. Because we read two books. Yeah. Um, two memoirs. Um, and the first one, uh, which uh I I just read was Adult Braces by Lindy West. Okay. So I kind of I touched on this in the last podcast. Who is Lindy West? She is a really famous feminist writer. Uh, she used to write for Jezebel, she's written for The Guardian, New York Times, and uh she her first memoir, Shrill, was made into a television show on Hulu, which is probably if I um one podcaster was talking about this, either like you have no idea who Lindy West is, or she's like the most important person in your life. And she is the latter for me. Yeah, yeah. Um so she wrote this uh newest memoir that just came out last month um about this kind of budget eat prey love that she went on right after the pandemic in like 2021, um, where she kind of goes and like finds herself, but it's also about her deciding to be in a polyamorous relationship with her husband and her husband's girlfriend. My initial reaction was like, This is my girl. I'm gonna fight for her. People are so people are so hard on her. Um, but no, it gave me a lot of negative feelings as well. Um I hate when that happens. Yeah, it was very much like today drain me when I finished it. Um and the biggest thing for me, like obviously the polyamory, it is it's whatever. I just don't, I don't care.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I don't care about that.
SPEAKER_08Um, there were other things like I put in my notes like the weight of it, um, both figuratively and literally. Uh for Lindy, she was kind of like the first person that for me as like someone in my mid-20s to think of myself outside of my body. Yeah. To think of myself as like worthy of things just despite my size. And what we get as this as she approaches 40 is that she thinks about everything in through the lens of her size, like everything.
SPEAKER_07Even though she has been a big proponent of like body neutrality. Yes.
SPEAKER_08Yes, wow, and like the body positivity mo movement. So, like, because she has we've seen her in the past five years like lose a lot of weight and then go get back.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_08And she's like, and it attributes to, even though this is hard to hear, like when I am miserable, I am bigger. Like when I'm happier, I'm I'm going on walks, and I'm just like naturally skinnier. Like yikes. But then she then like that. And then like it, but then in the book, like dogs on GLP ones, like I get them banned.
SPEAKER_05No, we don't do that here. Get them banned. Get them banned. We don't do that here. Get them banned. Get them banned.
SPEAKER_08We don't do that here. So for me, coming to this place of understanding that like maybe there are some pitfalls to body positivity. Um she has this line where it's like, if you indulge all the time, the indulgences stop becoming indulgences. Sure. That's correct. That resonated so hard with me. Yeah. Um, but it also sucks. Like, you know, like it's but I also think it's the difference between memoir writing when you're 27 and memoir writing when you're 37, 47. Like growing up sucks. Yeah. And we are learning that as millennials. So I think it's a good representation of that. And the husband of it all, that has been talked about a lot. There are so many good podcasts.
SPEAKER_07How long have they been married?
SPEAKER_08They've been married since 2011.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_08So we find out because she has talked a lot about her marriage. One of the caveats to him marrying her is that he would be non-monogamous and that she had no desire to be non-monogamous.
SPEAKER_07So he has always been non-monogamous. Yes. And this is the first time she's talking about that. Yes. Oh.
SPEAKER_08So in 2019, she got a DM saying, Hey, I just saw your husband making out with a woman in a bar. Um, and she like it like flatlines her and she like calls him, and he's like, I just think we want different things. So immediately it's trying to find an end to it.
SPEAKER_07Did she know her husband was not monogamous?
SPEAKER_08She knew her husband was non non-monogamous, but a part of their terms was that she just didn't want to know. It was just like, don't ask, don't do it.
SPEAKER_07So very much like, don't embarrass me. Yes. Beyonce Jay-Z.
SPEAKER_08Yes. Katcha. Don't do it with people I know, don't do it with people in the neighborhood.
SPEAKER_07Okay, so there were like some terms and expectations. Yes. Is this her lemonade?
SPEAKER_08It should be.
SPEAKER_04I'm praying to catch your spirit.
SPEAKER_08I'm praying to catch you. Yeah. It's like what happens when lemonade maybe doesn't hit. Right. Right.
SPEAKER_07So basically, he started, he was cheating on her with this woman and wanted to bring this woman into their marriage.
SPEAKER_08It was never that. It was always like, I'm polyamorous. I have a girlfriend and a wife. So she ends up on this road trip. Uh her husband like has he like has some health issues and has to go to the hospital. So the girlfriend, her name's Rea, like comes and takes care of him and they start talking. And at the end of this road trip in this book, she's like, Maybe I'll just join their relationship. Maybe I'll just but she's never like identified herself as queer. Um it's just Messiah Polly. No. No. No, no. She's weird about sex. Like, so much of that book is her hang-ups about sex. And so I kind of assumed it was gonna be this like, oh great, this there's gonna be like this like sexual awakening at the end of it. It's not, she's still weird about sex, she just lives with her husband and his girlfriend and they have sex all the time. But don't worry, Reya's really good at like paying the bills and doing the housework, and it's great to have a wife, and all of her problems have gone away now because so much of the book is her just being weighed down by the day-to-day of her life. Like she is paralyzed by the idea of like housework. Okay.
SPEAKER_07There's you get on Lexapro, or you hire you hire a cleaning person on Lexapro, or you hire a cleaning person. Everything you're saying to me, I'm like, you know what would solve that? An SSRI. This sounds so disempowering.
SPEAKER_08One thousand you like you even things. I want to read your memoir. It is so disempowering.
SPEAKER_07I'm not well.
SPEAKER_08I was not well after reading it. Like, no one's talking about this. But like the biggest like upsetting part for me was there was she wanted to stay at this like fancy hotel. She was gonna treat herself to this fancy hotel because she's in a a van the whole time, like camping. Okay. And she realizes she didn't pay for the hotel yet, and she realizes she didn't budget for that, so she has to have her sister-in-law like send her money. And I'm like, bitch, you don't have a credit card. What do you mean? What do you mean you don't? She had to call and be like, Can you pay for this hotel?
SPEAKER_07I don't understand, like, but how do you not have a credit card in the year of our lawyer?
SPEAKER_08And maybe she did have a credit card. She just didn't, she was writing from this this concept that someone who literally has their own fucking TV show does not have uh a way with which to access funds to pay for a hotel. Oh my god. I like texted Lauren. This is so mean because I love her and she's getting so much hate, but I texted Lauren and like, is the greatest feminist mind of our generation a total loser?
SPEAKER_07Is she a hack? I mean, this is crazy. How do you not like the only time I've ever wired money was a down payment for my house, and I felt like a criminal. I was like, is this legal? What am I doing? Why am I on the phone with two banks at the same time?
SPEAKER_08And then she like randomly drops that she was in a like, because she was so depressed that a way to get out of her depression, and I guess instead of getting on a anti medication, she entered in a dom sub relationship with her husband. Jesus Christ. Where he just told her what to do all the time. And then she decides to get a tattoo at the end of her journey that said, I can't even, I can't even wait to say this. Good girl. But then frames it like it's actually radical because I think I'm bad. So it says good. And I'm also getting in touch with my girlhood that was stripped away because of my fatness. And it's like, okay.
SPEAKER_06You sure about that? You sure about that. You sure about that? You sure about that? You sure about that?
SPEAKER_08Um, so my final takeaways are if you're a fan, still read it.
SPEAKER_07And if you're not, don't, because I'm not gonna. Man, that was a wild ride. I was not sure what to expect.
SPEAKER_08And there's more. There's a lot I left out.
SPEAKER_07No, I can't take any more. Our 10-minute timer went up.
SPEAKER_08I can't do it. I can't. And I can cut a lot of it if I need to.
SPEAKER_07No, I don't think you should. I think that that was great and really informative, and I'm horrified by everything you said. So we should talk about
Strangers by Belle Burden
SPEAKER_07the second book that we actually both read, which was Strangers. Also fantastic. A memoir of a marriage by Belle Burden. I listened. Okay, so I started hearing rumblings about this book. Um, it was released in January, so it's still very new, but I think it's really picking up steam majorly right now. Yep. Um, she's on like a press tour, she had an Oprah interview, she's been on the Today Show, like she's making her rounds. Yeah. Um, and so I I think it was someone I follow on Instagram, like posted the book, and I was immediately like, This sounds really interesting. I'm going to listen to this. I love to listen to a memoir. So I started listening to it on Spotify, and I was like immediately captivated. I think I texted you right away and I was like, You this book is bananas, you have to listen to it.
SPEAKER_08I was so the again, like, this is how much her team is doing a great job. Like I opened my Spotify and I listened to a lot of my audiobooks on Spotify, and it like popped up like this is recommended for you. And I was like, Oh hell yeah. It also is it definitely like if you have watched Love Story and you're like, and you're kind of in this like waspy New York Peace Coast. Peace coat. It it will it will fill that hole in your heart. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07100%. Yeah. Because they so basically the premise of this entire book is the their the downfall of their marriage and like their divorce it's really their divorce. So it starts out, they're in COVID, they're what she thinks happily married, they have three children, they go, they flee New York during the early days of the pandemic and go to their house um on Martha's Vineyard. And within days, she finds out he was having an affair. He initially was like, Oh no, it meant nothing. I love you. Like, please, I'm like whatever, and then wakes up the next day and is like, I'm leaving you. I've I'm not happy. My bags are packed. I don't want the kids. I don't want custody of our kids. Um, um, you can have the house, bye. And just like leaves. And this is March of 2020. So like full lockdown. Yeah. Full lockdown, months and months to come of you know, uncertainty and just like that, knowing that, like having to travel back to that time frame as well, and knowing this happened, just like really changed the theme of the book too. Like, just oh my god. Yes, can you imagine? I literally cannot. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_08So she had a 12-year-old and 15-year-old daughters, and then she had an 18-year-old son who was living with friends. Um, and then so it just having kids and having to be like, quote, okay for the kids during such a time of uncertainty, and then having your partner just walk out on you.
SPEAKER_07Nuts, not even co-parenting with you.
SPEAKER_08So, another crucial element of this is obviously how rich she is.
SPEAKER_07Yes, very, very wealthy.
SPEAKER_08Belle Burden herself is not famous, but she comes from a lot of fame. Uh, her grandmother was Babe Paley, who like for I for me, like I know who that is because she was a swan in that in that Ryan Murphy show. Yeah. The swans with Truman Capote. Yeah. Um, so she is like high elite, high elite New York. Um so, and he also was super grossly waspy, but his family uh lost their fortune, like um, and when they decided to get married, there was a prenup involved that really offended him. Um, but you know, it was standard to protect her assets.
SPEAKER_07So she had to have a prenup, like to access her trust. Oh yeah. Oh yes.
SPEAKER_08And then he puts the caveat in, fine, I'll sign this, but because they were both successful lawyers at the time, whoever whatever we bring into the marriage, like we get to keep.
SPEAKER_07So it's like I buy a car and it's in my name, we get divorced, that's my car. You have no rights to that, you're not entitled to any piece of that, to profits of that, nothing. Yep. And so they do this, she does this against legal advice.
SPEAKER_08Yep.
SPEAKER_07And I mean, when she read that part of the book, I like had chills. I was like, Yep, oh my god, this is so bad. And then she also recounts that when they purchased their New York apartment, which I'm sure is so nice, yep, um, they were able to do that because she accessed her trust and put she got the trust, put the down payment on it to buy it and put it in both their names.
SPEAKER_08Yikes.
SPEAKER_07And then they bought their vacation home on Martha's Vineyard, and she does the same exact thing, drains her trust to buy it, puts it in both of their names. Okay. So we know this, like we we get that information pretty early on about their relationship. And so I just think every single woman should read this book.
SPEAKER_08And she has reiterated that if she wants it to do anything, it's have the conversation about your finances. Even if you are in a relationship where your husband is really good at numbers and you're overwhelmed, for one thing, it's not that hard to learn this kind of shit.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_08Um, and she's saying that as like someone who like thought she was bad at it. Read your tax husband's tax returns, read your tax returns, have an understanding, and also just like don't sign any prenups that make you uncomfortable. I mean, for me, like as a Midwesterner, that's like not something that is ever in our vernacular, but it's it's me and my husband are like wonderfully happy, but we sat down and talked about finances after I read this book because I don't really know. He knows more about finances, but our finances than I do. Yeah. And we sat down and had a conversation about it. Like, even if you are so happy, like what happens when the relationship ends?
SPEAKER_07And it was, I think it's just also this idea, too, of so they're both successful lawyers, they get married, they have kids, she becomes a stay-at-home mom. This is kind of a tale as old as time. She's still doing pro bono work and like volunteer work, but her job is she's a mom, she's taking care of the kids. Um, and he is not really involved. It sounds like he is working seven days a week. As a hedge fund manager. Yeah. I mean, they're extraordinarily wealthy. They just they live. My sister and I were talking about it, and I was like, they live in a different plane of reality. It's it's it's not only are they extraordinarily wealthy, it is a very like East Coast, like different echelon of like lifestyle than we can ever relate to. Their kids went to boarding school, they have this vacation home on the vineyard, like it, they they um belong to a club there. He has a Rolex, you know, collection. Um, it's it's really crazy. So it there's also this element of like, we're not gonna feel bad for you. Like, you're so fucking rich. Like, why should we feel bad for you? You're so privileged. And I think she does a good job of like addressing her privilege in the book and really acknowledging it and understanding how lucky she is because it's like she was a stay-at-home mom, but they had a nanny. So, um, but I'm sorry, like as any mom can say, like, I could use a fucking nanny. Correct. Like, I'm not gonna hate on her or judge her for that.
SPEAKER_08And I, I mean, obviously, there's an element of a woe is me because it's a divorce memoir. Of course. I think she keeps it in check.
SPEAKER_07She does.
SPEAKER_08And there is always this element of understanding her privilege. Yeah. Everywhere there can be, she checks her privilege. I felt like that for sure. There is because she, her proponent work is in immigration cases. Yeah. Um, and you know, she had to work on this immigration case during the pandemic, like why her husband left her, and she was doing a really shitty job. Um, and the because she the people that she worked with are children, and the mom of the person that she was defending was like, Are you okay? And she's like, No, I'm not okay. And and she's like, I've been there, I feel so sorry for you. And and and Belle, the author, was like, I feel so stupid. Yeah. Like I, this person has been through so much more than I have, and she is giving me empathy when I'm the one that should be standing up for her. So because of her privilege, she is in this position to call out men's behavior, yeah, and to say, like, this happens all the fucking time. Yeah. Like, it's we literally have an expression, tail as old as time, man leaves his wife when she turns 50.
SPEAKER_07Like because she was 50 when he left her, by the way.
SPEAKER_08I mean, it was you could not.
SPEAKER_07And he said, You're you're still young, you'll be fine. Literally get fucked. I will drown you in this ocean.
SPEAKER_08I mean, I've obviously been down the Reddit holes of like, have you? What can we learn about this man to take?
SPEAKER_07I immediately looked up a picture. I'm like, this fucking doofer. Doofer. Doofer. Because come to find out, when they're going through their divorce, like he's been making millions and millions and millions of dollars.
SPEAKER_08Oh, and don't give me so someone on Reddit was like, This was this was a long con. He like found out that she was like someone famous from they like worked together at a law firm, but she kept like who she was, yeah, like under wraps, and he like saw it in a news article. Like, because she was like donating, I don't know, her dad's art collection to some like museum. Um, and that's when he became interested in her. He got out, he stopped being a lawyer, he started becoming a finance guy at her uncle's firm. Yeah. I mean, this guy is a piece of work.
SPEAKER_07He's a fucking con artist, piece of shit. The fact that he just like and he gripped Grifter.
SPEAKER_08Grifter with a Rolex collection.
SPEAKER_07Like, he comes back to this. This was crazy when she's talking about how he he comes back. She had to like, he was like, I'll just we'll tell the kids over Zoom, or you can tell them we're getting divorced. And she's like, You need to be here. Like, you we have to do this together. And so he comes back to tell the kids, and she's like, he's like so happy. He seemed like a little they tell the kids, and then he's like, Okay, great. And then he looks at her and he's like, I'm so hungry. Can you make me a sandwich? Girl. And she does, and it's like, girl, stand up.
SPEAKER_08I and I knew there would be a difference between me and Belle is the night he tells her that he had an affair. This was like in between that like 12-hour period where he was like, I had an affair, but I love you and I and I want to stay with you. He just goes to sleep. Yeah, he just goes to sleep and she just walks into because he like slept in the guest room and just walks and sees him sleeping, and then just goes in a room and like lies awake in to him. The way I would wake that motherfucker up, the way I would wake that motherfucker up like fucking good fellas, like the whole island would be awake.
SPEAKER_07No one would be getting sleep that night. Let me just tell you. The way my hot-blooded, no fucking way, my Midwestern, like, no, you cannot. Absolutely not.
SPEAKER_08Cops would be cool.
SPEAKER_06We got a hot one.
SPEAKER_07And then he goes downstairs and she makes a sandwich. She's looking for him, she's looking for him, she finds him, he's rooting around through all these boxes and she's like, What are you doing? And he's like, I'm looking for our prenup. You need to send it to me if you find it. I mean, he was immediately, and so basically she had to, she tried to counter during the divorce. The judge enforced the prenup. So everything, all of the money that was made is in his name. The houses are also in his name. She pretty much has nothing but is hopeful that it's either with the houses, she's gonna have to buy him out or they sell and split.
SPEAKER_08And this is why the book is so good because it is a divorce memoir, but there is the section of that book that reads like a financial thriller. Yes. Like it is page turning. Totally. Like it is what is not. I know. So I did audio and um and uh the and kindle and fabulous. For one thing, she is a fabulous reader.
SPEAKER_07She's a really good reader. I loved listening to her.
SPEAKER_08Um, just so great.
SPEAKER_07It's just so good. I would just say, like, you should everybody should listen to it. And it's it's really a cautionary tale, too, in like financial literacy, being involved in the finances of your marriage as a woman, and I think also like losing your identity in a man or in a family or in your with your kids, like there being a stay-at-home mom is absolutely worthy, and there is nothing wrong with doing that, but you just need to make sure you are doing that in a way that protects you if there was an outcome like this, because this shit happens and you don't think it's gonna happen, and it fucking happens.
SPEAKER_08Financial Feminist says that if you're a stay-at-home mom, your husband needs to be paying you a salary, bitch. Yes, and I don't think like it can be as extreme as that, but like calculate what it would cost for someone to do the laundry, to do the dishes. And how much does a nanny cost? One of her a lot. The greatest. So I mean, obviously, after you read it, the the Oprah interview is really good. Yeah. Um, but you know, she does she just does this fabulous job of telling this without bitterness. Totally. That is without anger. That is extremely powerful. Yes, I agree. Um, as I like was talking about like good fellas or whatever. But like there it is something that's incredibly powerful, but it she has this line where she's like, it's not the money or the affair, it's what chills me to my bones, what keeps me up at night, is this idea that he thinks that what I contributed to our marriage amounted to nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Get him banned. Get him fucking banned.
SPEAKER_05Get him banned. Get him banned. We don't do that here.
SPEAKER_07And when it comes down to it, like in in these lawsuits, like it is what's on paper. You know, it's like we know what we contribute, what women, what women by and large are contributing to households all over. Is a lot of it is invisible labor. Yes. It is mental labor. And you cannot account for that. A forensic forensic accountant cannot account for that during a divorce.
SPEAKER_08And if we can look back to Lindy West's book, I mean, it's it's it's what you should do is get yourself a watch.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god, why didn't she just say actually, let's be Polly. Let's just get a girlfriend, let's bring her in. It was it was a crazy book. I absolutely recommend it. Listen to it. I thought it was a really great listen. Um, I did go out and buy the hard copy book because I was like, this is important. This is real. This is really real. Yeah. Okay, we have some
Table Scraps
SPEAKER_07table scraps, just a few things. I actually really quickly I started watching Be My Guest with Ina Garden on HBO.
SPEAKER_08Have you watched it? I've seen a few episodes.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god, it's so good. I mean, it's Aina, baby. I needed to like regulate my brain, and so I was like, what can I watch that will be soothing? And so I was watching that while needlepointing, and I was like, this is exactly what I needed. Healing. Healing. She's just like, she is so talented, she's so warm. She's a great little interviewer. Like, for what they're doing, it's perfect. And then I realized, oh my god, Megan Markle completely fucking copied this.
SPEAKER_08Yes.
SPEAKER_07I did not
Meghan Markle wants to be Ina Garten
SPEAKER_07realize that. I mean, her show on Netflix was literally Be My Guest 2.0. Yeah. And in bootleg 2, like be my guest.
SPEAKER_08And I and there was always an element of even the Barefoot Contesta show where there was like maybe like an interview process. Yeah. And she was so good at those conversations that they just took that format.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. It's so good.
SPEAKER_08Um, 100%. She's like poor, I mean, whatever about Megan. We've talked about that, right?
SPEAKER_07Oh my god, not which what about Megan?
SPEAKER_08Just how like As Ever is being canceled.
SPEAKER_07No, we never really did because everything else was getting so crazy. But yeah, as ever. So Netflix and Megan Markle, the Sussexes, they have officially cut ties. And this is just like they are grifters. Like they they cannot see a business deal through to save their fucking lives.
SPEAKER_08Like how?
SPEAKER_07I don't know.
SPEAKER_08It it boggles my mind how they cannot do this.
SPEAKER_07I know.
SPEAKER_08It cannot be that hard.
SPEAKER_07Uh huh. Yeah. Because they broke with Spotify. They didn't fulfill their end of the deal. No, they didn't fulfill their end of the deal with Netflix either. I think there was a previous Netflix deal that did not go through. You're right. And now she signed her podcast with Lemonata, but she hasn't put out like any barely any content.
SPEAKER_08What is it?
SPEAKER_07I think they've done like six episodes. It's like a six episode. The founder and CEO of what? I'm adding that. You have to.
SPEAKER_04Your friend is crying in the bathroom, and you're talking about being a CEO and founder. Of what? Like literally of what?
SPEAKER_07They are all over the place. They have no clear direction. They do not listen to their team. They listen to themselves. Like they're they're also like going through people constantly, new publicists, new reps. Like that is not a good sign. No. I think that they are hard to work for and with.
SPEAKER_08I it's such a bad look. It's such a bad look. Like to the point where like someone should be telling them, like, I don't care if you don't get along with this person. You're keeping them. Keep going through all these people. Who's gonna give them a deal now?
SPEAKER_07For the money that they're looking for. No, they're gonna have to go to like TLC. Like it's getting dark.
SPEAKER_08Oh, ow.
SPEAKER_07Hulu?
SPEAKER_08I mean, I guess Hulu will do it.
SPEAKER_07Hulu's in the gutter.
SPEAKER_08Or maybe a reason why they were cozying up to Bezos and they're gonna get an Amazon deal.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god.
SPEAKER_08Oh no, they're so gross.
SPEAKER_07I can't.
SPEAKER_08This speaking of Netflix, um, uh Louis
The Manosphere
SPEAKER_08Thoreau, um, who you guys will know from that like famous rap that my money don't jiggle jiggle.
SPEAKER_00It folds. I'd like to see you wiggle wiggle for sure. Maybe want to dribble dribble. You know, riding in my fear. You really have to see it. Six feet two in a compact.
SPEAKER_08He recently, I think he does documentaries like in Britain a lot and Netflix. Picked up this documentary that he did on the Manosphere. Definitely interesting if you don't know anything about it. Now it's one of those things where he couldn't actually talk to any of the main players because no one would agree to talk to him. Of course not, yeah.
SPEAKER_07Um hey, come talk about what a piece of shit you are.
SPEAKER_08Uh-huh. And it and it's very much like, you know, he talked to this like B list manosphere guy. Just the industry of it all. Like these people.
SPEAKER_07So we're talking, when you say Manosphere, like we're talking Joe Rogan, we're talking darker like fringe in cells.
SPEAKER_08We're talking like one thing, they're all like have like Essex accents. Okay. And then we're talking like people from Miami. Like I have not heard of any of these people. And they have m like millions of viewers where they're just like, it's all speaking of it's like very it's all one-way monogamy. It's all like So what is the Manosphere?
SPEAKER_00The Manosphere, for those who don't know, is the world of male influencers, some of whom are kind of mainstream and somewhat benign, like comedians and podcast hosts who make risque jokes about men versus women. And then there at the deep end, it's these guys who who put out fully poisonous or or kind of bigoted content of why why women are rubbish, you know, shouldn't be allowed to vote and shouldn't be allowed to drive. And why men should be having sex with hundreds of women and and and women actually should be virgins. Like these almost like medieval views. They've taken the internet by storm. Uh and they and they're and Andrew Tate's the most famous, but there are l loads of others who enjoy massive virality.
SPEAKER_08And and some of it's like, okay, yeah, we don't want to work for the man. We don't want to just grind every day and give all of our power away to these higher people, but it's also just a way to exploit vulnerable men. So it's like you need to be working the stock market, you need to be into crypto. I would describe it as like a male version of MLM. Um it's it's it it's our current government. It prides itself. I mean, yeah, there are many tights to the government. Uh-huh. Uh, like every single one of these guys like had a picture with Trump. Um, like they went to Mar-a-Lago, or um, because it's like it was so fringe a couple years ago, but it's very much mainstream.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, of course it is.
SPEAKER_08But like I like talked to like Jake about it, and like I mentioned some of these names. I like don't I don't even want to like I don't remember their names, I'm not going to. Uh and he was like, No, I have no idea who these people were. So it's like very fringe, but it has quite a following. You just peel back one layer and it's like none of them have fathers, and like of course, and then all the guys who follow them don't have male influences in their lives, and it's it's just sad, but it's also so prevalent. It's also like scary, too.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, okay. Did you watch Real Housewives of Rhode Island?
Real Housewives of Rhode Island and The Valley
SPEAKER_08I didn't tell me everything.
SPEAKER_07Okay, I did, and I think I'm gonna love it. Okay, like it is so ridiculous. Like in the first episode. What's the vibe? If you could compare it to like any other previous franchise, Jersey meets Miami.
SPEAKER_08Fascinating.
SPEAKER_07Um, it is a real cast of characters. They have such Italian like East Coast accents, like I was not expecting, like almost like Boston, like heavy, heavy accents. Um, and then one of them is in like speaking of Polly, she's in this relationship where like five months out of the year, her boyfriend, she's basically like a sugar baby, and he's there five months out of the year, and then the other time of the year he's like with another girlfriend in Miami or something.
SPEAKER_08Oh my god, we have a big papa?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, we have a big papa, and we can't say his name. We're never gonna see him. Yes, it's big papa all over again. She's gonna go get a fucking Escalade.
SPEAKER_01Listen, I really want to buy Catalytic Escalade today. Fully loaded. PB's, bigger daughters. Yeah, big one. I bet you did want to sell me one.
SPEAKER_05I have a man in my life. He prefers to remain a mystery, so I just refer to him as Big Papa.
SPEAKER_07So we have that. Um, we have someone who used to be like a news reporter, so she's like ready for her moment. We have like an older woman who's like mean um and like really runs everything.
SPEAKER_08Okay, yeah. No, I would watch all of us.
SPEAKER_07We have a woman who's already um, she soft launched her mommy issues, like majorly. Yes. Um, and then we had a glam picnic uh where someone like started crying within like 10 minutes. So it's unhinged. I think it's gonna be really unhinged. I think it's the scene or like the setting looks really pretty. Like it's just like on the coast and they're filming, it looks like during summertime.
SPEAKER_08And these people are like residents of Rhode Island, these are people that like vacation in Rhode Island.
SPEAKER_07No, it's these people are from Rhode Island, they make that a really, really big deal about like being from Rhode Island and how small it is. Everybody knows everybody, and like a couple of the girls on the cast are not from there, and so they kind of talk about their experience and how hard it is when and then we have someone else who is a Bachelor in Paradise couple that's on it. Oh yeah, so we have some like worlds colliding, yeah. Yeah, so like I I am locked and loaded. I'm it it's also just like after the heaviness of what is happening in the summer house like world right now, it's kind of nice to get back to just like silly housewives that doesn't have baggage, yeah, because that's what happens with these reality shows.
SPEAKER_08You collect so much, and then it's not fun to watch anymore. It's like a very vicious cycle.
SPEAKER_07Yes, so it's nice to go back to the beginning, right? So I watched that, and then did you watch the Valley premiere?
SPEAKER_08No, tell me everything.
SPEAKER_07Okay, so I watched the Valley premiere. It's so great to not have Jacks on our screens, I will say. Yes, it is so unfortunate that Lala is again on our screen. I why is she back? I don't know. I think Kelly and I were texting about this, and Kelly had a pretty good theory. She's like, I think Janet just like needed a friend. And I'm like, or we could just get rid of Janet too. Like, we don't fucking need her either. Isn't her and her missing solar?
SPEAKER_08Toxic beyond like enjoyable viewing, yeah.
SPEAKER_07And she's like, just I'm like, it's not clocking to you, Janet, that you're on a reality show.
SPEAKER_06It's not clocking to you.
SPEAKER_07It's not clocking to you. She's like, Well, I'm not gonna continue to show up places just so I can be yelled at. And I'm like, that's your job. That's literally your job. What do you think we're doing here, sweetheart? That's your contractual obligation. So there's that. Brittany is getting her sparkle back, she is dating um Brandon, and Brandon has big dick energy. He gives big dick energy because he's got a big one. It's personality and it's real. You're so good. Oh my, it's crazy. He has big dick energy and he has a big dick. Like, that's just like I can't. She's so much. Um, but yeah, so she's getting her sparkle back, and um, Michelle and Jesse are still at each other's throats. Um, Jessie's girlfriend, Lacey, is now being filmed. She is agreeing to be filmed. You can say her name now. She is awful. I can just see. And I think Jesse and Michelle are both terrible, awful people. Correct. Yeah, it's rough. I feel bad for Bella.
SPEAKER_08That was one of the reasons why I stopped watching it in season two, because they were so awful to each other, and that divorce was gonna be so terrible. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07And it's ongoing, they are still not divorced. It's been like two years. Oh my god. I know. And then um we have uh Danny and Nia. They had their fourth kid. They are living in San Clarita, so they're a little bit further, and it's Kristen and Luke with their newborn. Oh, okay. And like apparently Luke is like barking up her tree wanting to have sex, and the baby's three months old. And I'm just like, Jesus Christ. Is this like for fucking real reason?
SPEAKER_08I do not like that guy on my screen. I think he's sinister, like, he's got weird children vibes.
SPEAKER_07After this episode, I mean, he's a blonde man, so like the uh the blondest. That's there's been a lot of blonde men on Bravo, and he might be the most blonde man. I know, like his eyelashes are blonde. So he is giving dark vibes. Just like don't make your storyline that you are like horny and your wife just had a baby and she doesn't want to have sex with you because she's nursing and she's up five times a night.
SPEAKER_08And you know that's a producer thing. A producer is like, this should be your plot line, and it's like, maybe don't, maybe not have it.
SPEAKER_07It's so VPR coded to me of just like going down to the like baserist, basest level that of like reality TV, where it's like this is not how audiences connect to people anymore. Like, we don't want to see that kind of stuff. It is unacceptable, actually. So, like that to me feels like the fucking whatever Alex Baskin, the producer of like he is like everything that's wrong with Bravo, like the things that go wrong with like the um Vanderpump and the Valley. It's like him, it's like the darkest shit ever. It's like on his watch. So yeah, but other than that, solid premiere. Great, great reintroduction. Hey, Schwartz is there, whatever, he's fine. He's just like being the most Schwartz he's ever been. Yeah. I just really hate Lala. I really don't want her on my screen. She also has dark energy, she has the darkest fucking energy.
SPEAKER_08Well, I mean, they all have dark energy. I almost feel like the valley is like this. We basically gave birth to these people and they don't have any other skill. So we have to watch the valley to keep them safe and paid.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Especially Lala.
SPEAKER_07And like, I don't know what Sheena's doing. She's not on the Valley, so like she's gonna declare bankruptcy any day now.
SPEAKER_08Why haven't they invited her back? There's a lore to be on the show.
SPEAKER_07There is a lot of lore behind that. Basically, that they that she pissed them off. They were going to, and then she came out and said she didn't want to be seen as just a reality star. She needed to move on. So that's why nobody really knows. Interesting. Yeah. Um, I think that's all we have.
SPEAKER_08That's all we have this week. Thank you so much for listening.
SPEAKER_07Thank you so much for listening to our book reviews. Besties Read Books.
SPEAKER_08Besties Read Books. Trademark?
SPEAKER_07TM. TM. Make sure that you are following us wherever you get your podcast. Leave us a comment. Follow us on social. We're um on TikTok and Instagram at Midwest Besties Pod.
SPEAKER_08Have a great week. Bye.