We Are NoT&T Feeling Taylor’s Wedding

Our favorite artist, Taylor Alison Swift, is married! And while our hearts are full, the nuptials have left us majorly scratching our heads. Madison Square Garden? Stadium seat chair covers? Adam Sandler officiating? Chanel bag raffles?!?

Take us to the lakes where all the poets went to die, because this wedding was so tacky it's killing us.

Also in this podcast, we discuss Lizzo's flop era and how (much like our skin) we want to see her bounce back and glow like she did in 2018. Because this is NOT a Peacock Podcast™, Lauren gives us her latest Love Island update (Team Brinity), and Emily started running with a fabulous circle of people (she started a vintage RHONY watch).

We round up the episode with table scraps on Joe Alwyn dipping his toe back into the PR relationship waters (get 'em banned), why we're excited to see Patrick Schwarzenegger cast in one of our favorite romance novel adaptations (come for us, internet!), the latest royal drama, Supergirl flopping, and a death in the Midwest Besties family. #RIPFandangoAtHomePreviouslyVudu

Transcript

Taylor Swift’s Wedding

SPEAKER_02 0:06

I'm Lauren and I'm Emily. And we're Midwest Besties.

unknown 0:19

Alright, we're on.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

Test test. We're back. Yep, Coop. We're on. We had a little summer break last week. It was a short week. Celebrating, trying to celebrate, feeling weird about celebrating Independence Day.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Our beautiful, beautiful American experiment.

SPEAKER_03 0:40

You know what I celebrate my Independence Day is Martina McBride's song.

SPEAKER_05 0:44

Let's do that's what I was celebrating.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Independence Day.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Celebrate national parks.

SPEAKER_03 1:06

Yeah, we celebrate healthcare for all. Costco hot dogs. Voting in November. Yes. Um, if you don't follow us on our Instagram, we always post what we think humbly are hilarious carousels for each holiday. So please follow us.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

I mean Lauren's knotted out of the park, and we just are really good at mood boards. It's one of the things that we're really good at.

SPEAKER_03 1:29

It's so fun. It's so fun to put those together. All right. So the other thing that happened over July 4th weekend was Taylor got married. Taylor got married, and we do have to eat crow. We have to eat our crocs because this bitch went and got married at MSG. Yeah. Someone give me my croc. We fully we were we were MSG truthers.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

We were like, no, we don't believe this. I was really hanging on. And I'm still like, I'm still doing like, I bet she had a private ceremony somewhere else.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

I really hope that's the case. But I also just have to detach myself from this now. Uh I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Okay, so how we're gonna do this is that we're gonna start with what we like.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

We have a lot of thoughts. We're trying we we've been talking about this non-stop. Non-stop.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

I mean, everyone has everyone has.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

Emily and I have been texting about it.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

I looked at just Jared, like, because I was like looking like, is there any like celebrity like you want to talk about? Taylor Swift. Only Taylor Swift.

SPEAKER_03 2:34

My timelines, my FIPs this weekend where it was only Taylor Swift. And like hot dogs.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

That's it. And white ladies getting like invites at parades. Um I okay, so let's start with what we did like. We love Travis and we're really happy that they got married.

SPEAKER_03 2:53

Yeah. I okay, I really genuinely did like that it was um that she they didn't have big wedding parties. Yeah, that was cute. That her brother was her man of honor. I thought that was cute, and that um Jason was just the best man. The best they didn't have like big bridal parties. Love that. I appreciate and support that.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Um I hate it because like I I feel like in like IRL, I am someone that someone knows like I am in pop culture. Obviously, I have a pop culture podcast. I love Taylor Swift. So people keep asking me about it, and I feel like they want me to say I liked it. Like they like, I I feel so maybe it's not, maybe it's just me, but I hated pretty much everything about this wedding.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

It was a net negative for sure for me. I was really so when Emily and I were texting about it, and I was like, I just like I really try to be a person who's just like, you know what, pop off, do whatever the fuck you want to do. It wants to bring you joy. Like, yes. So I vacillate between like, okay, I guess this is what you wanted, and like if that makes you happy, like, okay. Between that and being like, this is the tackiest fucking thing I've ever heard of in my entire life. I mean, it could not get any tackier. Like, okay, let's we have kind of a list, and it kind of starts with this whole this idea of like privacy, which like I think we've learned, like, she doesn't really she wants security. I don't think she cares about like privacy.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

No, you don't get married at the biggest sports arena in the most densely populated city in the world on a holiday weekend. On a holiday weekend, if you want privacy. Yeah, and I'm really sick of like this idea that if we don't support her, we are misogynistic. If we don't support her, it's because you just don't like when women bring other women joy. That is not true. Like I'm gonna say this before we really dig into it. Like, I love Taylor Swift. Like I love her music. I have a daughter, she's getting into her, we're like sharing the music together. What I don't like is when she starts acting like a bizarro fucking billionaire, yeah. Like Jeff Bezos girl. Um, like I don't enjoy that. It makes me feel gross. And everything about this wedding made me feel gross. Like, from the moment we watched, I keep making this joke where it was just like so dystopian of all of us because everything was so out in public again, because it's New York City at the most popular sports arena in Halloween weekend where we're like watching all like the white rib meat being like and the boxes of meat being brought in and the boxes of crab being brought in. Like it was just so like this is how the sausage is made, folks.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Yeah. Um, and we normally we just don't have that level of like we're not in the nitty-gritty, we're not in the weeds, like for celebrity stuff like this. Like we just see, you know, even like Jeff Bezos, like gross tacky wedding in Venice. Like, we we just saw like all the arrivals by both. Yes, you know, which like I hated because I hate him and he's terrible.

SPEAKER_04 6:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Um, but this did remind me of that in terms of like this was like the celebrity, this was it was just so many famous people. So there were a thousand attendees at this wedding. I just feel like your wedding can be big and it can still be intimate, but this is not that.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

I did not care that they were gonna have a thousand people. Like, they are both extremely popular people from different like echelons, so there's not gonna be any crossover. Yeah, like I was like, yeah, a thousand people, whatever. But like, I guess I just wasn't expecting like Brad Pitt to be there. I was expecting all three anchors of Good Morning America, all three of them. I know uh Nelly was there, Nellie was there with Ashanti, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Ilo Conan O'Brien, like the weirdest collection, Jessica Chastnain, um MGK was there. He's really good friends with Travis, but like that's problematic. MGK is problematic, yeah. I mean Travis was problematic, yeah, but like it was just so weird. The pap shop okay, so also it was like these celebrities did like insane pap walks. Yes and like their makeup artists, their stylist, their hair people skirt, it was like Oscars. Like, this is her look. This is what Carly, Carly Kloss was there, which was like in insane. Like that she was invited in there with and she was pap walk, she was a full blown spread. Like she looked, she did look really, really good.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

She looked gorgeous, and I love that they have made up.

SPEAKER_03 8:12

Yeah, I'm totally fine with that.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

Um, it was just uh again, unexpected. Also, when it's like we want privacy, we just want to be on our own. And it's like, no, you wanted the biggest You wanted a spectacle, you wanted the biggest party in Hollywood, yeah. But like, okay, well, then don't make people feel bad for wanting to know information about it.

SPEAKER_03 8:34

Right, right. I know. So apparently they also had um raffles.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

I really hope that's a rumor.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

Was this a fundraiser?

SPEAKER_02 8:44

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 8:45

What are we doing? Like they raffled off like a vintage car, they raffled apparently like Cartier jewelry, like it's just very like gross, tacky.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

And like getting into more of it was like Adam Sandler official. Oh my god. So what I've gotten here is that how I'm going to sit with this is I don't blame any of this on Taylor. This is trap, this is Travis Kelsey's wedding. This is if Travis Travis Kelsey is now a billionaire. That is that was what the theme of this wedding was. Um like just even when we're getting like the even like the TNT, like I hate it, just married with the TNT.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

My sister was like, I think that's cute. And I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

ATT. I just I just saw ATT every single time. A T T married.

SPEAKER_03 9:39

I just don't like, I don't think it's cute. I I'm just not a fan. Um, let's see. Oh, the handkerchiefs.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Oh my the thing that I got so mad about was the handkerchiefs. This is the one of the we'll go down, we'll go down like in history, like it will be like William Shakespeare, Taylor Swift. Like the this poet, this songwriter decided to put in for the thing, handkerchiefs as a s as a favor is whatever. I I like, I mean, whatever. They decided to put so it's gonna be forever, dot dot dot. From blank space, a song that's literally about the most unromantic, like play on words like I'm crazy. The press thinks I'm crazy. So, so it's gonna be forever. The last the second half of that is or it's gonna go down in flames.

SPEAKER_03 10:51

Right, right. So it was also crooked. Was it crooked? Was it supposed to be crooked? Why was it crooked? So bad. I also I hated their monogram, their tea and tea with the hearts. It looked like tortured poets, but I just hated it.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

It looked exactly like tortured poets.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

Have you seen the photos of like the inside that they like put together? No, so there's like really draping, and you walked Oh, I saw that hallway.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

It was Pepto Bismol.

SPEAKER_03 11:15

The Pepto Bismol, yeah, because you sent it to me, but it was like so much fabric and draping, and then it was like you walked in and it was like blown out like a museum exhibit of Taylor and Travis, which I hated. Um, and then there were some leaked photos of like where the ceremony was, and it was like they used stadium seating and they put like chair covers over it and they had like trees and string lights and stuff, and like I just think it's ugly.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:42

Like this is like you can have clearly all the money in the world, and like this shit is still ugly. It's still lipstick on a pig.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

I mean, this is why it's like I'm eating crow, I'm eating my croc, but it's like pass me the ranch, I'll gladly eat it.

SPEAKER_03 11:55

I don't even care because it's so stupid. Like, we should have been right. We were right. Like, in principle, we were right. This was this is so dumb and weird and attention-seeking, and just like weird and gross, and like all billionaires are bad.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Like, yeah, and it was a reminder that she is a billionaire.

SPEAKER_03 12:15

I also invited the president or CEO of the company that like contracts with all of the ice detention stores.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Oh, Papa Swift had a heavy hand in this gas list.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

He sure did, he sure did. And so some people are like, oh, well, this was probably more of like a business thing. Like they wanted, and I'm like, okay, that's fine, but like I still am allowed to think that's gross. I think it's gross. Like, and I do understand, like, you get to a certain echelon that like your wedded, like weddings do become like business deals, and that's fucking gross. I don't maybe want my pop artists to be yeah, like they did donate uh $26 million to charities before, but it's like even that, and like great, great, okay, awesome. They re they funded a program in Missouri that got slashed. So I was like, Well, that's good. I'm really glad that got funded. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

However, it's great, it's great when you had a tax write-off for the $25 million you spent on working on MSD and raffling off cardio watches to fucking Zionists.

SPEAKER_03 13:25

Uh-huh. It's giving like Elton John with the PJ and then being like, I donate carbon offsets. Every time I use it, it's like, well, that those two things aren't equal, Sir Elton.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

It's also just like you're not allowed to question your queen. Like she's royalty now.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

And it's like people calling this the royal wedding, too. I'm just like, touch fucking grass.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

I mean, it could have been. It's in the it's so funny, like the way, because her music has such a profound effect on me. Like the way I am, like the way I'm describing how I don't like it. It's like, I don't like a gold rush.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

Well, and I think I shared our stories. I was like, is this really the woman who wrote folklore? Is this the wedding she wants? And I was like, I guess it's the woman who wrote wood. Like, this is the wedding she wants.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

Correct. Someone was wrote, like, where it's like, uh, if the woman that wrote folklore wouldn't get married to MSG, she would jump off of it. And I'm like, yeah. But that's what I like. It's so funny because I was one of the, like, I was the one of the defenders of Life of a Showgirl. Like, I don't care that she's writing song. I don't care if she's writing wood. Like, I don't care if she put digmatized in a song. Right. Is it cheesy? Is it is it tacky? Yes, but that's okay. Like, yeah, art is allowed to be those things. Um, but when we're talking about like, I don't know, I don't have to like this wedding.

SPEAKER_03 14:54

No. No. I I did not like it at all. And the more everything I learned, I was like, I hate it even more. Yeah. Every single thing that I learned was just like, no, I'm not into this. Like, this, like Adam Sandler officiating. It's like, is this just a joke? Is everything just like, we're just like, we're so funny. This is so funny. Like, wouldn't it be cool if Adam Sandler officiated our wedding?

SPEAKER_02 15:20

She's marrying a doofus.

SPEAKER_03 15:23

A doofus.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

She's married to a doofus.

SPEAKER_03 15:25

And like we've always known Taylor. I do feel like she has this very like early 08 millennial sense of humor that she's just like never grown out of because she's emotionally scented. Um, but like that really came through loud and clear. Yikes.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

It was just like it was so clear that like any movie star that Travis liked, like Travis likes fight clubs. So Brad Pitt was invited.

SPEAKER_03 15:52

Brad Pitt's a bad person.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Brad Pitt is a really bad person.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

Nellie's a bad person.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

It was like a round table of domestic violence.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

Like a lot. Like I was really not okay with.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

I wish like we could like flood in because of course, like when I saw Jack and his sister, I'm like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Was Margaret there? We didn't get any shots of her.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Yeah. I feel like we would have.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

I know.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

We didn't get any shots of the Haym sisters. We didn't get any shots of we got shots of GG.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

We got Selena. Yeah, and Bradley Cooper's really fucking weirdly long pat walk. He's such a freak. I can't. That PR ass relationship is so weird. We do have to talk about the biggest thing though. Was that Blake Lively and Ryan Ryan Reynolds were not there? I cannot believe they were like in upstate New York. They fled the city. They were like reading the hell out and they were at like some fucking farm.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

They were at like a horse, like one of their daughters, like horse benches horse competition. Yeah. Um, I did not know this about because when I first saw it, I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? But then it kind of uh TikTok kind of recycled a lot of the it ends with us drama. I guess I forgot the part where like there is a rumor that has been pretty much verified that if Blake's lawyer talked to Taylor's lawyer and was like, if you do not if if your client, Taylor Swift, does not put out a statement in support of Blake Lively, we will release 10 years of text messages. Um that's friendship ending.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

Yeah. So I I did think this was interesting that somebody was like, Oh wow, I thought the song canceled meant that like she and Blake were still friends. And someone else was like, No, the song canceled meant that that's not a reason she would drop a friend. So if she dropped a friend, there's a bigger reason behind it. And I was like, oh, really good way of thinking about it. So I think that's probably the case here. Like, there was so much going on with that lawsuit. And like personally, if I got drugged into a lawsuit when like my public image is so important to me, she's like in an album release cycle, there's all these things happening for her, and she gets dragged into a lawsuit about this fuck ass movie, I would be super pissed off. And my personal text messages are being released, I would be livid. Like, and the fact that of the matter is that like Blake perpetrated that lawsuit. She like dro like she made that lawsuit happen to her own end. And so, like, I don't, I I think it's I'm not a Blake Lively fan. So, like, I think it's hilarious that she wasn't invited, but it just it really says a lot.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

It made me sad. Like, it made me sad that it felt like that was one of her only like real friendships that she had that wasn't for I really do think the Hang just.

SPEAKER_03 18:42

No, Abigail was there. A little red-headed girl. I know. Someone wearing her same dress wearing her same dress. I know, I know. Do you think we're gonna get shots? We so we have yet to see any, we've only seen AI that shout out to my sister who sent us photos, and I was like, those are AI.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

Babe, grandma.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Do you think we're gonna get like a Vogue spread? Do you think it's gonna be like an an IG, like I can't predict this woman anymore. I know, I know.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

Yeah, like it's definitely not going to be prestige. Like, if I were choosing yes, it would be a gorgeous Vogue spread.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

I just don't see this being Vogue. No, I see this being people, but it's not gonna be in people. I don't think oh my god, that would be crazy if they did a people exclusive.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

It's crazy she got married in Madison Fucking Square Garden.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

I know, what am I even saying?

SPEAKER_02 19:33

It's just the whole sailor officiated the wedding.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

I know, I know. It's so bad. It's just oh god. There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen. She had a marvelous time ruining everything. There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

She had a marvelous time ruining everything. A line where it's like, uh, there's only so far new money goes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

Oh, Lena Dunham, she apparently gave a speech that like offended people. I love so that was my favorite part of the whole thing. I'm like, well, that probably means that it was like funny and and charming and good.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

Basically, she said American football was like gay porn.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

Is she wrong? I loved her, I loved her look.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

I would wear that look tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

That green suit to the rehearsal dress was so cute and chic. Um, and then I loved her like tuxedo uh skirt um with the like fuchsia. She looked great for her. I thought she looked really good. She looked so good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Yeah. Um, and that was something I loved about it.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

Yeah. And that is our thoughts. All right, switching gears. Um, do we want to talk about Lizzo? Yes. Bitch. Bitch. So in case you've been hiding under a rock, Lizzo is currently in her flop era. So what everybody knows is that Lizzo's music is not good. And what everybody doesn't know is that like she just released a new album. Yeah. Like nobody it didn't chart. No.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

It was like, so she literally sold like 2,000.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

Like it's so like bad.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Like, how many listens we have to this podcast?

SPEAKER_03 21:22

I know. Like abysmal. This is a woman who's like had sold out tours, and so she released her new album, Stadium Tours. She that we went to, by the way. She released her new album entitled Bitch. Um, what, like a few weeks ago?

SPEAKER_02 21:39

Yes. Yeah. Um she and it just did not sell, which is so weird. Okay, so I am I would consider myself a Lizzo fan. I've seen Lizzo three times. Um, special was like one of my favorite records on the planet. Um it is it is so funny. Like that, her music is almost like cringe now. Yeah. Like it's dated. It was like for a different time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was definitely for like Trump's first presidency. We're right we're rising above it. Everything's great. Um, and then Trump won again, and we're like, I just like can't handle, I can't handle. It just sounds like AI.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

And here's what's so weird about this whole thing. So she drops this album, it immediately flops, and then she goes on this like weird press tour that I have to believe would have been about like she's released new music, so she's like gonna go perform or she's gonna go talk about it. And instead of trying to push her record, she's kind of like, Yeah, I mean, it just like is doing really bad, and like talking about why it's doing bad and that it like no one's receiving it well, and like she thinks it's because of the algorithm, but she's just not really sure.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

So it's like weird, it's so weird, and it's so like her persona. So, for those who don't know, in 2023, 2022, 23, her uh uh her ex backup dancers sued her for sexual harassment, yeah, and fat shaming and fat shaming and her in her um like persona, her brand took a hit because obviously that was all her brand is based on loving yourself and every size, yeah, and self-acceptance and body acceptance and bigger body acceptance. Um looking through, and it was just definitely like inappropriate behavior for someone at her stature. Yeah. Like one was like them going to a strip club and like pressuring girls to like touch the dancers, like this is not good stuff. Yeah. And I've never thought that Lizzo has good people around her, like smart people around her, and it is it's proof in that. Yeah. Um a lot of it went away, and it's not like I I don't think that's like career ending for her, but it definitely put as a Lizzo fan a bad taste in my mouth.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

I don't think she ever fully bounced back from that.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

I don't think she's bounced back for me, which I hate saying that because her music it just like got me fucking through shit. Like, and it is and it is cheesy and it is kind of and it, but I loved it anyway. Um we all did.

SPEAKER_03 24:24

I mean, we all did, but like now her music sounds like it's playing in a Coles commercial, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

And like that's okay. Like, that's what happens to music sometimes. Yeah, that's certainly what happens to pop music, totally, and like you know what? In 10 years from now, we're gonna like be like, oh my god, play that song again. Yeah, but right now, like it was she became oversaturated,

Lizzo’s Flop Era

SPEAKER_02 24:44

her music was played too much, and everybody's sick of it.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

She also like went on the record talking about how much she loved Chris Brown, like she's definitely made some very bad career missteps and public image missteps. She defended people on the Epstein list.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

If you stole an apple from Walmart and you were on trial for stealing an apple from Walmart, is every person in your phone an accomplice? Is every person in your phone, is every email you sent to a person or speaking about a person, does that does that make that person complicit? Does that make that person a bad guy? No.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

She's she's done weird, her social media presence is very strange. Lock it down. Weird. It's very strange. So then she's also like playing into people making fun of her music on her TikToks, and it's not working. Like I do this, we're so unfair because sometimes that does work when people see like they're getting roasted and then they like get in on the joke, and that is funny. This isn't funny, and I I can't exactly explain why, and it's very nuanced, and every situation is different, but this is just like baby, get off your phone. Like, it's nothing off your phone.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Okay, she also had like this. There is the the flop era, it is not just a bad record that she is making messy person her image, it's her personal persona. So last year she went on SNL and she dropped last year, she dropped Love in Real Life, which is really good. And um, still bad. Awesome, awesome songs. And then it was like she was gonna release an album called Love in Real Life, and then she scrapped it all, and then put out an LP that was like really rap-heavy, like really reminiscent to like batches and cookies and like um Lizzo, like Lizzo bangers, like this is her stuff before she went big, so from like 2015 to 2016. Um and that didn't go anywhere. So like she is a mess, and it's not just like us rejecting her.

SPEAKER_03 27:00

Like who is her manager? Who is her manager? It's her people. Fire, yeah. I mean, when in when someone who had a song, like a hit song in the Barbie movie, like who that song slapped. Yeah, it was so good. Like, who is getting those types of deals, that type of like exposure, like in hits is has tanked like this. It is it's not always it's not just the artist, it is like their entire team. Correct. She needs to clean house.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

I am so happy we are going through this like real time because it was like making me so uncomfortable, like because it made me sad. And like this is everything we're saying is the truth.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

Like, stay out of the comments, stop trying to get in on the joke, like fire your whole team.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

This is what's so great about being almost 40 and like being a Lady Gaga fan, where it's like, you're gonna have some fucking flops. You're gonna have a flop era. If you want longevity, if you like, and maybe maybe you won't do music, maybe you'll start producing, or maybe you or maybe you'll like reality shows.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

She needs to learn from this.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

Like, I and I want her to learn from this.

SPEAKER_03 28:08

She has to like self-reflect and make some changes, and if that doesn't happen, she will not come back from this. But it's like nothing is guaranteed. Look at Katy Perry, she was one of the biggest pop stars, and she fucking sucks now. She sucks. Like her, you want to talk about Coles commercial? Like, I don't even want to hear it in a coles commercial. Floptina boots, floptina? Floptina bestie, flop Tina boots, flop Tina boots. Okay, so

Lauren’s Love Island Update

SPEAKER_03 28:35

I have to give a little Love Island USA update. Lauren's Love Island update. If you love me, love me like you say you do. Um, okay, so I can't remember, it's been two weeks. So it has been basically that in villa years, that's two years. Like so much happens. Um, there's only one week left of Love Island. I'm extremely sad.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

What do you do with all that extra time?

SPEAKER_03 29:03

I don't know. My husband every day asks me to watch House of the Dragon, and I'm like, I can't do it today. And he's like, when are we gonna watch it? I'm like, you'll have me back in a week, but I might start Love Island UK.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

You have to start watching House of the Dragon because I want to talk to you about it.

SPEAKER_03 29:18

Okay, I know. I do need to watch it. I've already seen some spoilers, but it's like I'm so locked into Love Island, I don't even care that I saw spoilers. I'm like, that's the price I have to pay.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

And we're really like living, we're very like um divorced. We're living separate lives right now on the algorithm because like she's just like posting Love Island stuff that I don't understand, and I'm posting House of the Dragon stuff that she doesn't understand, like full. She's like, I had something really spoiler. I'm like, was it the post that I put to our stories?

SPEAKER_03 29:43

Yeah, it totally was. It was like, I don't know what sheep stealer is, but I know something bad happened.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

The memes have been great.

SPEAKER_03 29:49

The internet is missing out, and I don't even have phone.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

So UK is Love Island UK is going to have to wait, or you're gonna have to find a way to do both.

SPEAKER_03 29:56

I know you're right. So where we are sitting right now, there's about a week left, and they have something called family week. I don't think that the family's there for a whole week. I think it's like the week the family comes there. Um, there are I think five couples left. And I'm not sure because you know I'm new to this. I think they only take four couples to like the finals, and then they so I think we have one more elimination, and I think the US is gonna vote on it. Like we get to vote on it. Like when you say family, do you mean like parents? That's crazy. They come to the villa and they like meet the person, and they you have to remember they are watching, they have watched this, so they can come in and be like, he's a dirty dog bitch. Don't don't get with him. You don't even want to know because they are watching all this stuff. It's not like Bachelor, you know, where it's like they're meeting them for the first time. This is Black Mirror shit. I know, I love it. It's so good. It provides structure to my days. Like, I every day I have something fun to look for fun and exciting. And I'm like, maybe there'll be a vote tonight. I don't know. Like, I have the app on my phone. Um, so I think it's like very clear. So there's this one couple, Brinity, uh, Brinity, yeah. There, that's what we call them, but it's Bryce, we, the general public of Love Island, Bryce and Trinity, and they are so cute together when they were having Casa Amor. They were both like really sad and really missing each other. Like Bryce was like in tears. He's just like that being here just made me realize how much I like her. So it's pretty, I think they're gonna win. Like they've closed off their like boyfriend and girlfriend. They're the strongest couple by far. Um, and then there was this one, there's this one couple, Kenzie and Dylan. And like Dylan is a Casa guy that Kenzie got with during Casa, and he's really pissing me off. Pisses me off. Like in the last last night's episode, so like Kenzie has explored more than like any of the other girls. Like, and that's what literally you're supposed to do. It's like the whole point of Love Island. Yeah. And he just like keeps shitting on her for it. He's like, I just don't know if I can trust that you say that you like me because like you said that to someone else, and then you kissed another guy and you did the same thing to me. And it's like, do you know this is what we're supposed to do? Do you know where you are, Dylan? Like, are you okay? This is the point, baby. Yeah, it's crazy. It is, it's just so interesting to watch these people talk about trust and like, I don't know if I can trust you, but it's just like you know why you're here, right? Yeah, I mean, some people don't. In these, I know, and like these shows are designed to put they put these people in bad situations to bring out the worst in them to see what they're gonna do so that we are entertained. And you even said like everyone was acting married a couple weeks ago, and it was boring. It was so boring, and like I will say, like the married couples are still together. It's just like it is kind of crazy. Um, so yeah, so only one more week left. I'm loving it. I'm already sad, but I will start House of the Dragon. Fabulous.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

I have

Emily’s RHONY Rewatch

SPEAKER_02 32:59

started uh watching vintage episodes of The Real Housewives of New York. I started season two, which was I think 2008.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

Oh my god, it has to look like it's from the Stone Ages.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

It looks like it's from the Stone Ages, Stone Ages, but I love it all.

SPEAKER_03 33:14

Like it's so run through the cast, really the original, the OG cast, it's Bethany, Bethany, Jill's Aaron, Jill, Ramona, the Countess, Alex, Alex McCord, Luann, and I mean Sonia Morgan and Simon.

SPEAKER_02 33:27

No, Sonia's not there yet. Sonia's not there yet? No, it's um Kelly B. Simone.

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Oh, I hated her. I hated the delusional monster.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Yeah, she's crazy. The delusion.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

The delusion.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

The delusion of all of these women. Like you forget you forget because you know, we are now with these, like, we are now with women in housewives that have like grown up watching housewives. So it's like there is this like self-knowing like persona that I have to put on where these women are just out there being fucking delusional, mean, problematic. And by the way, like all of the real housewives are still mean and problematic now, but they all just like have to pretend to hide it and diet. Where these women are out there just being like, I didn't eat anything to be in this show. Give me a die coat because I need sugar. Like, there's just something so refreshing about it.

SPEAKER_03 34:21

Yeah, it's great. Original Roni is the gateway drug. I mean, it's so good.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

They so the summer just ended, but they the past five episodes we've been in the Hamptons and just even the exterior or the interiors of just like it's not just all white and everyone's home looks the same and like a museum. Yeah, it's like crusty interiors books.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

Bethany's like poor.

SPEAKER_02 34:44

Bethany is legit poor.

SPEAKER_03 34:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

Like in their confessionals, she's just wearing like a satin shirt from like fucking like Chico's. Chico's. Oh my god, Chico's runs the game.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

Chico's galore. Are Alex and Simon in there? They're also like they live in a construction zone in Brooklyn forever. And it's like so funny.

SPEAKER_02 35:05

Everyone's like, ooh, everyone is disgusted.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

Disgusted. They still live there, they still live in that like house or townhouse or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

I looked it up, they moved back, they moved to Australia.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

Oh my god, they're such freaks. Of course they did.

SPEAKER_02 35:20

One thing, I like Tex and Lauren. I'm like, they really actually need to call this like the real rich rich neurodivergence of New York.

SPEAKER_03 35:28

Uh because Alex and Simon for sure Ramona, Ramona girl. Oh my god. It's not like, ooh, I'm gonna be a model. It's no, I'm gonna be a model. I'm gonna make money at this. This whole modeling thing is something that I didn't expect to happen. It's not like, ooh, I'm a model. It's actually I'm modeling and we're going to make money at this, and it's going to be a business. Alex McCord is delusional.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

Her just being like, okay, so one of the last episodes was um Bethany was like selling her skinny girl, her skinny girl cupcakes, and her skinny girl margaritas probably all made with aspartame.

SPEAKER_03 36:03

All disgusting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

And what was why do we always talk about the wow chips? What's in old straight? You know, there was so much olestra in all of her shit. 100%. Everyone's getting diarrhea. Um, and Alex just being like, me and Simon, we were looking for one night stands online. And we met in the chat room, and like, and like Bethany being so fucking like, wow, wow. I mean, good for you. I mean, then we have the count, Countess Luann, which like just seeing her on this high horse before.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

Oh, it's so funny. Hi, can I order two large plain cheese pizzas? That's it. Um, the name is Mrs. Deliceth. Countess. Who?

SPEAKER_02 36:50

Oh, what she like uh-huh. Who depending on who you talk to, ascends or descends to. 100%. I'm just obsessed with it. It's making me so happy.

SPEAKER_03 36:59

I'm so happy for you to be on this journey. There's so much to come. I can't wait for Sonia to come. I can't wait for you to watch Scary Island. Like, there's just there's so much that it this is really foundational.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

It's foundational, it's important. I have to make sure I'm only watching it like two episodes a day because I will like fall into binge depression. Or like I will forget to bathe because I want to watch 12 episodes.

SPEAKER_03 37:23

And I will say for me, like, I know OC is the original Housewives, but Rony is my that is how I got into Housewives. I have seen all of Rony, like I'm excited for you to travel forward even to like the Durinda years, the Berkshires, the Berserkshires. Like, there's just so much funny shit that happens.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

It's just and I've seen those like core episodes just from like being on the internet.

SPEAKER_03 37:48

Yeah, I want the lore. You need the lore in the backstory, like just understanding like Kelly Benzemone, like saying that is just I just go to a lot.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

One thing, all of them open their like physical invites to fashion weeks. I know, like all of their like going to the opening of an envelope, like just god, things really had it's so great.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Wait until you see Sonia's townhouse, which is like perhaps more famous than all of them, like just the super like garden townhouse? Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Okay, I do remember that. I've seen that.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

Yeah, it's great. And you just yeah, I'm I'm really excited for you.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

So that's that's how I'm spending my time.

Joe Alywn’s new PR Relationship

SPEAKER_03 38:27

Should we talk about um Joe Alwyn? Oh my god, uh, and how he's like super private, but then he was is now dating Sarah Pigeon and they are loving some pap walks.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

I think uh because we just like dragged Taylor on probably her the most important day of her life. Like, we again are Taylor stands, and uh Joe Alwyn did her so fucking dirty.

SPEAKER_03 38:51

He did her so dirty.

SPEAKER_02 38:52

He should be it should be illegal for him to be in a PR relationship. I agree. So I totally agree. Um, they have been papp everywhere, just like at the park making out, going on walks, getting coffee.

SPEAKER_03 39:09

They were should he have a new movie coming out? Probably, probably something like fucking weird. I don't know. He's always at stuff, like is always at stuff. He's always at like can. He's always at the Oscars, he's always at stuff.

SPEAKER_02 39:21

Do you think it's like because Taylor was getting married, he like wanted to be out and about? I don't know if he even thinks about it that much. Honestly.

SPEAKER_03 39:29

But like, here's how I think of Joe Alwyn in Hollywood like always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

Correct.

SPEAKER_03 39:35

Like he he might be there, he might be at the places, but like he's not nominated. Like he might be at the table for the movie that's nominated Hamnet, but like he's not nominated.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

No, and also what was the other one? Um, with Emma Stone, the favorite. He was at the table for that.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

So he has a good career, yeah, but like he's not he's definitely not gonna make he's fetch.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

He's definitely not like totally not gonna make fetch happen. Totally like Joe Allen's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 40:01

No, he's a blonde man, so you know how I feel.

Patrick Schwarzenegger as Gus in Beach Read

SPEAKER_03 40:04

Okay, should we really quickly talk about Patrick Schwarzenegger and all the hate he's getting as Gus and Beatreed? Yeah, and I'm I'm I'm here to like do we read the same book? I think you and I are the only people on planet earth who are like when we heard that casting we were like, yeah, locking loaded who I was thinking of. Like, first shout out Emily, she hates him, which like I I like him.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

No, I love Patrick Fortsman.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

I love him. I he is so gus coded. He is so gus coded, but like the internet is so mad. Like, Emily Henry is getting asked about it in interviews, and she like obviously won't answer. She's like not giving an answer because she cannot. And it's like he's gonna be great. He's gonna be great. He's a really good actor. He's a really good actor. He's also really fucking hot, you guys. He's so hot. He can be, he can be like moody and like he's gonna have that yearning.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

He's gonna bring learning.

SPEAKER_03 41:00

Did we not watch him yearn in the white lotus? Like he yearned in the white lotus.

SPEAKER_02 41:05

So it's talked about a lot with like our love for these romance novels being adapted. And it's like the perfect example of it is if there was such a if if he did rivalry, if um like game changers, he did rivalry that that if there was a fervor for the books, yeah, and it was announced that Connor Story was going to play everyone would be like a Texan is gonna play a Russian. Texas Twink, yeah, who's supposed to play this buff, gritty, like you have to Texas Twink. Like, you have to put faith in the people that are making these adaptations and that they might know better than you.

SPEAKER_03 41:51

And I'm not saying they always get it right or that the adaptations are always like give them a cham dunk, but like just chill the fuck out. Like our just like attachment to who we think should be cast. I've never been like this about books, and people fucking freak out. All the fan casting that happens, and then there's like real casting because I'm like, hey, did you guys know that was made up? Like, did you guys know that like you don't have a decision in casting? And did you know that you should go like touch fucking grass? Like, chill the fuck out.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

So, and I've talked about this in the last podcast. Like, I'm always someone who's like meh with adaptations with books I love, uh, because it's not going to be what's in my head.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

No, and I very much like can separate it. I'm like, that's a different thing than this, and that's okay. And like, I think people maybe need to like learn how to compartmentalize.

SPEAKER_02 42:35

No, I think you should like maybe a seminar. You need to do a TED talk on this.

Prince Harry’s Already Awkward UK Visit (he hasn’t left yet)

SPEAKER_03 42:40

Um, okay, so really quickly too, we got some royal news, some royal tea. I'm ready for this. So Prince Harry was going back to for like an annual visit to the UK and has been like such a little freak leaking to people that like they're really concerned about security, and he's not sure if Megan and the kids are gonna go with them because Megan and the kids are gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

She fucking hates it there, and she's not gonna go.

SPEAKER_03 43:07

Like, she's not gonna go, she's never gonna go back. Like, she's probably on a no-fly list for that.

SPEAKER_02 43:11

No, I don't blame her.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

And anyway, so then of course it comes out that like he's gonna go without them. Big shock. And he was going to he was always concerned about where he was gonna be able to stay because if you recall, he had a private, they had a residence there, Frogmore Cottage, that was not a cottage, and that was taken away from them when like they probably would have just kept that for when they came in and out. And Royals have security through um what is it? It's not Interpol, but like it's like the British like FBI, basically. Like they have like state sanctioned security. It's like state funded. Okay. And it's whatever. So that was taken from him. That was part of the thing, one of the things that was taken from him that they were like the most concerned about. Yes. So anyway, um, he's was apparently invited by Prince Charles to stay at Buckingham Palace and then finally decided he was gonna stay at Buckingham Palace, but then it was leaked, wink wink, to people that his invitation to stay at Buckingham Palace has been rescinded. I don't understand over there. I don't understand. What on earth is going on in the House of Commons? Charles is a bitch, but Charles is like getting cancer treatment right now. I don't know. You know who's a bitch. You know who's a bitch is Camilla. Yeah. The OG. The OG.

SPEAKER_02 44:36

God, I love her so much. And you know that's probably what it was. He took too long to answer.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

I do think he's really annoying.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

Had like some like rude comment, or he was like, maybe I will and maybe I won't.

SPEAKER_03 44:51

Can Megan come and then will if she comes, do like probably like it's X, Y, and adding additions to it or going back and forth. So I can totally see him being super fucking annoyed.

SPEAKER_02 45:02

Spare a spare like it's and she was like you. No.

SPEAKER_03 45:05

I can see them and like they made all these conditions for her, and they were like, okay, fine, we'll do that. And then he was like, She's not coming. Like, I can totally see them just like fucking around with them. I love that we are pro-Camilla. We are the only one.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Why are we pro-Camilla right now? I always am. Because Peter Morgan loves Camilla, so I love Camilla.

SPEAKER_03 45:25

I just, it's like she just has always been who she is, if we're being honest.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

Horse girl through and through.

SPEAKER_03 45:31

With that haircut forever. So it's like, okay, smoking a cig, riding her horses.

SPEAKER_02 45:37

I truly believe, like, if the if it was rescinded, it's because he was being an asshole.

SPEAKER_03 45:42

Listen, Harry and Megan are annoying. Yeah. Like we we want to root for them, and we are rooting for them, but like we're just like we root for Taylor Swift, where we're gonna sit here and drag her wedding, we're gonna root for Harry and Megan, but every single stupid fucking thing they do, because they do so many stupid fucking things, we're gonna call out. I'd be like, that was really stupid.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

And by the way, like I don't know what his job is other than shitting on the royal family and talking about how the royal family does him dirty and like he needs more material.

SPEAKER_03 46:12

So going to a polo match.

SPEAKER_02 46:14

So really, this could be like maybe they're doing it so he can sell a story to make money.

SPEAKER_03 46:18

Like, and I think there's a serious lack of trust with Harry because of spare. Like, obviously, yes, obviously, and then like he they also go on these like weird pseudo-royal tours where they like visit Commonwealth countries. It's so fucking weird.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

It is so fucking weird. Like, you shouldn't be like because it's giving oh my god, what is Edward? King Edward, Prince Edward, yeah, like Nazi bride. Yes, it's like you don't want to be associated with them, and it's like that's what you're giving right now. And you're like weird, like fake pseudo.

SPEAKER_03 46:51

Yes, just go to Paris and live in a fucking weird castle, like get out of here. Because she doesn't want to, she wants to live in, she wants to live in No, but it's like live live in the American Riviera, as you call it. But like just stay and just like do your thing, find a new thing. Like you just and it's like they're just so bad at this. They're so bad at being like successful.

SPEAKER_02 47:12

How do you not have how did you not make your Netflix show work? Like, how did you not make it work? Your podcast.

SPEAKER_03 47:20

So that founder one is is it was like a six episode run. She hasn't realized anything else. She's not going to.

SPEAKER_02 47:26

It's just get your shit together.

Supergirl Flopping At the Box Office

SPEAKER_02 47:28

I do want to talk about Supergirl really quick.

SPEAKER_03 47:30

Yeah, I'm curious about this.

SPEAKER_02 47:32

So I have not seen it, and that's I'm interested to get your thoughts because you are a like Marvel adjacent girly. Totally. Okay, so um Supergirl came out, it's like the reboot, reboot, reboot, DC, this 12th reboot to make DC a thing. Um Superman, it's like in the Superman universe that was created with David Corn Sweat. I loved that movie. I think it was probably my favorite superhero movie like ever. Yeah, and I haven't seen it. Um, and then Supergirl flopped. For one thing, did you hear anything about this movie?

SPEAKER_03 48:02

I saw a little bit about this movie. I saw nothing. But like the the the marketing budget was not good. Little. It was really bad.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

Small.

SPEAKER_03 48:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:11

And just like I'm really sick of like this is my thesis. Like, women don't really like superhero movies. And men don't really like women.

SPEAKER_03 48:23

Yeah. I see where you're going with this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:26

So it's like you can't just like, well, we'll just put a girl in it, and that'll be enough for girls to go see it, right?

SPEAKER_03 48:32

Supergirl is a notorious flop. Like, they tried to make it into a show, it flopped. Now they made it into a movie, it flopped. Like, also, like Captain Marvel with Bray Larson, it didn't flop, but she was treated like shit. And like she was like derided by like Marvel fans. I hate this. I know. Because she wasn't like, it was very much like you should smile more, sweetie.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

And then it literally, and then I feel bad for like not supporting her, but it's like, I don't want to go see fucking Captain Marvel.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

I mean, I saw it and it was good and I liked it, but it was very much in that universe for sure.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

Like, make it like truly make it for me. So Supergirl wasn't even directed by a woman.

SPEAKER_03 49:15

Well, no, I'm not I'm not shocked by that at all. What did Jake think of it?

SPEAKER_02 49:19

Um, he said it was fine.

SPEAKER_03 49:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

He said it was he said it was fine. Yeah. I yeah, I don't think it's one of those things where like it's great and everybody's ignoring it, even though it's great. Right. Like it's based off of a really popular graphic novel, but then they changed fucking everything about the graphic novel. So it's just so dumb. Like for me, I'm so sick of people being surprised that these movies flop when it's like you are taking a formula that does not work. Like, do something different. Don't just put a girl in a boy movie and expect that to be enough. Right.

SPEAKER_03 49:51

Yeah. And and Superman is DC.

SPEAKER_02 49:54

Superman is DC.

SPEAKER_03 49:55

So it's a different universe, and it hasn't done as well historically as Marvel. So like they need to figure this out.

SPEAKER_02 50:02

They, I feel like, should have established more, like, they definitely need to get like a David Corn, I mean, this is what I want. I've been talking about it nonstop. Like, they need to get like David Corn Sweat as Superman is fabulous and wonderful, and they need to build the universe around him.

SPEAKER_03 50:17

Yeah, like an Iron Man with Robert Downey Jr. Correct and then we build on it. Like the anchor is there, yes, and then we add around it. And not every single Marvel, like Avengers of that universe movie is like the best movie or like did great, but like they all did pretty well, I want to say, because of the lore. Like that's the thing that Marvel just does so well is like interlocking those movies.

SPEAKER_02 50:41

And like I just don't know why they can't at least try doing it that way.

SPEAKER_03 50:45

Because DC has really cool superheroes, and like my husband is always like DC has the best villains, they have really great best villains.

SPEAKER_02 50:53

Like it's DC is what because I'm I'm not a Marvel girly, but I was like raised on Batman versus Superman, maybe God, the the Batman animated series and um uh like the Batman movies of the 90s, George Clooney. Oh my god, I love it. But for me, like I really like a Batman that looks like Batman from the animated series, which is Pauly Anthony Kelly. Totally. So once again, I'm on here saying please put Pauly Anthony Kelly in a Batman movie.

SPEAKER_03 51:25

100%, 100% agree. Um, okay, and

RIP Fandango at Home Previously Vudu

SPEAKER_03 51:30

then I think we have to end it on some sad news. Fandago at home is no more.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

We have to pour one out for Fandango at home previously voodoo. It's no longer fun thing, it was no longer Fandago at home previously voodoo. It was just Fandago at home, and we're in the living room, and Drake just goes, Oh no! My daughter came in and was like, Is everything okay? And he's like, Fandago at home is going away. It's just Fandango, which is gonna confuse a lot of people, okay? Because Fandango's where you buy tickets for the movies. That is confusing. Fandango at home is where you put your digital collection. Um, support one out and bought by private equity.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

Like everything can. It's so bad. Taylor Swift's wedding was put on by private equity. It was okay. Well, we there was just so much to talk about, especially since we weren't uh we didn't do our pop potluck last week. Yeah. But thank you for listening. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 52:38

We appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 52:39

Leave a comment. Remember to like and subscribe and follow us on Instagram. We are at Midwest Festivals Pod. Bye bye. Bye. Bendango at home previously voodoo.